#am supposed to baby-proof my personality and attempt to cultivate a bond with the same precision as growing a petri dish
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the fatal flaw with my friend-making strategy is treating people like feral cats that need months of coddling before they can feel safe around me
the more i realize how unrealistic that is the more a lot of my past relationships make sense
#9 speaks#i'm sure for some people it is entirely true that you have to treat them like an abused animal that is learning trust for the first time#but holy shit i am realizing how insane it is to assume that i - a sapient being attempting to befriend other sapient beings#am supposed to baby-proof my personality and attempt to cultivate a bond with the same precision as growing a petri dish#even if the other person seems super uninterested or even resistant to the idea#and even if the person is someone that i initially dislike#because there's a *chance* that 12 months down the line maybe if i drip-feed them affection they'll warm up to me#no!!!! what!!! i'm trying to befriend people not become a zookeeper#definitely initially stemmed from feeling like i didn't have many options for friends and i just had to take what i can get#but nah man i'm an adult i'm not putting up with bullshit like that anymore
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