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biglifequestions-blog · 5 years

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Big Life Questions

In 1991, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes; an incurable autoimmune disease that would have killed me were it not for the discovery of a breakthrough treatment some 70 years earlier. Had my great grandmother—who lived to be an octogenarian with four grandchildren and eight great grandchildren—been diagnosed with the same condition, natural selection would have swiftly eliminated her and the potential for offspring as unceremoniously as it had thousands of others. By pure chance, my mother, uncle, cousins, brothers, and I would never have been born. Twelve unique progenies, gone; an entire branch of the family tree stunted and withered at the hands of a few faulty genes.

As luck or God or the Universe would have it, I was born at exactly the right moment in history to not only survive type 1 diabetes but thrive. And here I am today at age 29: a walking, talking, breathing, body with blood circulating and nerves firing, alive with not only conscious thoughts, but also feelings, opinions, beliefs, quirks, aptitudes, and proclivities. From this foundation, I’ve created a full and complicated life that includes accomplishments, hobbies, aspirations, and emotional connections to other walking, talking, breathing bodies. That I am even sitting here now in a 600-square-foot apartment in Philadelphia with a Chihuahua named Peanut napping sweetly in my lap, able to freely express myself through the typed English word using an online platform capable of sharing those words with millions of people around the globe, all while my loving husband cooks his take on vegan enchiladas in our tiny kitchen is nothing short of a holy-shit miracle.

I wish I could say that the mind-blowing awareness of my mere existence—never mind the trillions of complex, improbable events that coalesced to have me adopt a Chihuahua—has compelled me to live each of my 10,500+ days on this earth to their absolute fullest. I wish I could say the knowledge of my finite and delicate reality has inspired me to follow my passions, live authentically, and weather life’s storms with grace and fortitude all while dedicating my time and energy toward the betterment of society. Surely a life as precarious as my own would catalyze an ongoing quest to align mind, body, and spirit; to be a role model for overcoming adversity against all odds.

Alas, I am not quite so enlightened.

Last Saturday, for example, I spent the entire day in worn-out sweatpants eating buttered toast and playing Candy Crush on my iPad. Between waiting for more bread to toast, butter to melt, and lives to reload, I scrolled through the bottomless pit that is the /AmITheAsshole sub on Reddit, grappling with the complexity of human social norms while also getting my daily bump of “my life really isn’t so bad” by contrasting my comparatively insignificant problems to the drama of Internet strangers. By sunset, I had succeeded only in eating a half loaf of bread and irritating my husband by finishing off the butter and bringing crumbs into the bed. (AITA?)

I’m sure you’re wondering how I’m able to justify such a flagrant misuse of my time. While I don’t exactly know the answer to that question, I can hazard a guess it’s because I’ve collected enough insignia of a successful life—academic degrees, a wedding ring, my handsome husband, a Pinterest-inspired apartment, stamps in my passport—that the pressure to fill my days with meaningful, enlightened activities has lessened. So long as I continue showing up to work, paying taxes, saying “I love you,” and periodically posting #humblebrags on Twitter about some new promotion or my latest vacation, what does it matter if I occasionally splurge on procrastination and carbohydrates?

…right?

Until last year, I had only peripherally considered that there might be more to life than just achieving and owning things. From high school honors to senior job titles to a committed relationship, these milestones were my markers of success, happiness, and security. I craved them, worked for them, plotted how I would make them happen, and invested all my energy into proving to the world and myself that I was smart, hard-working, lovable, deserving; often to the detriment of my own physical, mental, financial, and spiritual health.

Moreover, I was actively encouraged to seek more of these achievements: to play an instrument in both orchestra and band, attend academic summer camps, double major in college, study abroad, work late, work weekends, work, work, work. I believed these tangible symbols would unlock the secrets to all the Big Intangibles: happiness, passion, fulfillment, security, joy, peace, gratitude, love. And when those fleeting moments of accomplishment came and went, and the Big Intangibles didn’t instantly manifest, I turned to my old, worn copy of the “Perfect Life Checklist” (which I wrote myself at the age of 10) and chose my next goal to appease the restlessness and disappointment in my heart.

And then, after years of sacrificing sleep and sanity to acquire these tangibles, it all came to a climax in May 2018: I had just graduated from a prestigious university with my master’s degree, was months away from marrying my soulmate, and had just been offered a dream job in a new city. Life was perfect or as perfect as I could have contrived. I awoke in my fiancé’s bed the morning after graduation expecting to feel elated, happy, fulfilled; or at the very least, well-rested and content. It was the first Tuesday in perhaps my entire life that I technically had nothing to do and I felt completely, inexplicably…. empty.

Where was the happiness I was promised; the light at the end of the tunnel I built, brick by brick? I felt a sudden urge to laugh followed by the very real experience of tears.

And then, in response to those tears, a harrowing, gut-wrenching, pass-me-the-wine-no-the-whole-bottle question materialized before me as if posed by some older, wiser, separate self: Who would you be without all these labels, titles, and accomplishments?

Who am I?

The answer that came was enough to make me want to dive under the covers and let the carbon dioxide build up around me.

Before I go any further, I want to recognize that despite living with a chronic illness, the problems and concerns I’m describing here are distinctly privileged-people-problems. I understand and appreciate that my ability to grapple with questions about my identity and personal fulfillment are luxuries only possible because of that privilege. I don’t have to worry about basic necessities like where I’m sleeping tonight or from where my next meal will come. I don’t wake up worrying about whether I might get arrested, mugged, shot at, or bombed if I walk out my front door or if I might be persecuted for my skin color, openly practicing my religion, or loving who I love. That I even have health insurance to afford the medication that keeps me alive is a blessing that I am keenly aware not everyone with my disease has.

Yet it’s precisely this knowledge—that other people who were born into different circumstances must work a hundred times harder and maybe not ever get to the point I find myself at now—that makes answering these Big Life Questions even more important. With all my privilege and so few barriers standing in the way of me living a magnificent, inspirational, blessed life of service and passion, why am I not making every day, hour, and minute count?

I pondered that question again a few months ago when I was asked to give a presentation at an all-employee meeting for work. “All-employee” meaning, of course, the entire company; hundreds of people in-person and remote gathered in one moment to critically judge my outfit, throat-clearing tic, and the way I pronounce “gala”—or at least, that’s what it felt like. A naturally nervous public speaker, I practiced obsessively to minimize the risk of forgetting my own name and spent copious time working through every worst-case scenario. In the shower, on the train, before bed, in my dreams; I worried and rehearsed that speech so many times that my ultimate irrational fear of a light fixture falling from the ceiling and concussing me mid-word could have come to fruition and my lips would have continued mouthing statistics while my hands, of their own accord, gesticulated to slide 5 bullet point 2 at the 20-minute mark exactly as rehearsed.

This exercise was, like many of my endeavors, not borne out of passion and commitment to a good cause, but a calculated attempt to take on another “professional development opportunity” in the hopes that it would indirectly increase the likelihood of my future happiness by one, maybe two, percent. Because more responsibility at work = more money = more success, stability, and therefore infinite happiness, right? The irony of all this calculation is that an activity I expected to yield happiness had the unintended consequences of increasing my stress levels by 1000 percent and costing valuable time with my friends and family.

And tell me, what exactly is the point of investing all this energy and being so completely exhausted if there’s no greater good, higher purpose, or feeling happy and inspired before, during, and after? What’s the point of tackling any endeavor if it’s only going to lead to a buttered toast/social media binge to cover the feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction?

Until now, I’ve asked but not fully grappled with these Big Life Questions. But I want to. I want to wrestle and spar, analyze and critique until awareness turns into action and potentially transformation. In my short life I’ve had the opportunity to answer some medium life questions whose answers led to amazing, unexpected changes. Questions like, “What more do you have to lose?”, “Would you be willing to relocate?” and “Will you marry me?” I’ve answered and then watched life shift miraculously to accommodate my new conceptualization of what’s possible. And now, I feel myself standing at the edge of another new conceptualization with an ever-present awareness of my own potential, mortality, limitations, limitlessness, and connection to the rest of humanity.

This blog is a chronicle of my attempts to answer and act on life’s biggest questions, including, but not limited to:

Who am I?

What is my greater purpose in life?

How can I find joy in the mundane?

How can I make the most of every day?

How can I be kinder to myself in deed and thought?

How can I honor and love my body?

How can I love unconditionally?

How can I forgive myself and others?

How can I overcome my fears?

How can I have more faith?

How can I live in the present moment more often?

How can I align my career and work with my passions and higher purpose?

How can I be of service to others?

If you decide to follow along, I hope my words can provide some perspective on how to begin answering your own BLQ’s, even if what I’m describing is a case study in what not to do. Consider what follows to be a record of hard lessons learned, a magnifying glass for bad habits, an arena for confronting fears and traumas, a whiteboard for exploring crazy ideas, and with a little luck and determination, a launching pad into the magnificent, inspirational, blessed life of service and passion I hope to live.

#biglifequestions #selfhelp #selflove #newblog #type1diabetes #consciousness #sprirituality #happiness #searchformeaning

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allenmendezsr · 3 years

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allbestnet · 7 years

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The last 160 and you are Finished

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The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less - By Barry Schwartz

Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion - By Robert B. Cialdini

How We Decide - By Jonah Lehrer

The Investor's Manifesto: Preparing for Prosperity, Armageddon, and Everything in Between - By William J. Bernstein

The Geography of Bliss: One Grump's Search for the Happiest Places in the World - By Eric Weiner

What Got You Here Won't Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful - By Marshall Goldsmith and Mark Reiter

The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time, Is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal - By Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz

The Little Book of Talent: 52 Tips for Improving Your Skills - By Daniel Coyle

The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do To Get More of It - By Kelly McGonigal

The 5 Elements of Effective Thinking - By Edward B. Burger and Michael Starbird

Show Your Work!: 10 Ways to Share Your Creativity and Get Discovered - By Austin Kleon

The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking - By Oliver Burkeman

When Cultures Collide: Leading Across Cultures - By Richard D. Lewis

Fluent Forever: How to Learn Any Language Fast and Never Forget It - By Gabriel Wyner

Mindwise: How We Understand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want - By Nicholas Epley

Smartcuts: How Hackers, Innovators, and Icons Accelerate Success - By Shane Snow

On Writing Well: The Classic Guide to Writing Nonfiction - By William Zinsser

Management of the Absurd - By Richard Farson

Hiring Smart!: How to Predict Winners and Losers in the Incredibly Expensive People-Reading Game By - Pierre Mornell

Drop Dead Healthy: One Man's Humble Quest for Bodily Perfection - By A. J. Jacobs

Cut to the Chase: and 99 Other Rules to Liberate Yourself and Gain Back the Gift of Time - By Stuart R. Levine

How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships - By Leil Lowndes

Brain Rules: 12 Principles for Surviving and Thriving at Work, Home, and School - By John Medina

The China Study: The Most Comprehensive Study of Nutrition Ever Conducted And the Startling Implications for Diet, Weight Loss, And Long-term Health - By Thomas Campbell and T. Colin Campbell

Lucky Or Smart?: Fifty Pages for the First-Time Entrepreneur - By Bo Peabody

Being Logical: A Guide to Good Thinking - By D.Q. McInerny

On Writing - By Stephen King

Ready for Anything: 52 Productivity Principles for Getting Things Done - By David Allen

Island - By Aldous Huxley

You, Inc.: The Art of Selling Yourself - By Harry Beckwith and Christine Clifford

Business Stripped Bare: Adventures of a Global Entrepreneur - By Richard Branson

Making Ideas Happen: Overcoming the Obstacles Between Vision and Reality - By Scott Belsky

The Bed of Procrustes: Philosophical and Practical Aphorisms - By Nassim Nicholas Taleb

Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success - By Adam M. Grant

Decisive: How to Make Better Choices in Life and Work - By Chip Heath and Dan Heath

A Mind for Numbers: How to Excel at Math and Science (Even If You Flunked Algebra) - By Barbara Oakley

Ignore Everybody: and 39 Other Keys to Creativity - By Hugh MacLeod

The Talent Code: Greatness Isn't Born. It's Grown. Here's How. - By Daniel Coyle

#The last 160 and you are Finished

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Live An Abundant Life Ebooks Pack

New Post has been published on https://autotraffixpro.app/allenmendezsr/live-an-abundant-life-ebooks-pack/

Live An Abundant Life Ebooks Pack

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THE ABUNDANCE OF MINDSET

Create a mindset of abundance and prosperity.

WIRED FOR GREATNESS

A guide to achieving greatness you deserve.

mind reset

Discover How To Reset Your Mind So You Can Eliminate Self-Limiting Beliefs.

ATTITUDE OF GRATITTUDE

You will learn how gratitude can transform your life.

A BEGINNERS GUIDE TO VISUALIZATION

You will learn why visualization can turn our goals into our realities.

the daily affirmation handbook

Discover how to attract success in your life with powerful affirmations

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How To Switch Your Mindset and Realize Your Goals

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6 rules to live an abundant life and keep stress away forever

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Why you need to adopt an abundance mindset to improve your life

How to create a life that is fulfilling and happy while reducing your financial burden

5 things you can do in your daily life to attract abundance and do more of what you love

How to apply changes in various areas of your life to create more wealth

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Discover The Secrets That Rewrite Your Destiny & Achieve The Extraordinary

If you don’t want to settle for mediocrity and wish to upgrade your life to the next level… this blueprint will help you answer your own personal calling of greatness.

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Spot where the problems are in your life and how to design a plan for change.

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“Find out how to reset your mind to eliminate self-limiting beliefs and have clarity and focus on your professional and personal life”

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Recognizing limiting thoughts and beliefs.

How to design the type of person you want to become and choose your life’s purpose.

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How to say goodbye to the old, unhappy you.

Become the best version of yourself so that you can achieve the most from life!

How to break bad habits and form new positive ones

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The power of Gratitude to Change Life

Making the transition to a life based on gratitude will require knowledge, effort, and persistence.

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You will learn what gratitude is and why it is so powerful.

Learn that gratitude will bring more abundance into your life.

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Get to know the best methods to improve your relationships.

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A BEGINNERS GUIDE TO VISUALIZATION

If you are new to visualization, don’t worry!

Everybody starts somewhere. Our subconscious mind is a powerful place, and when it is working in our favor rather than against us.The potential for us to achieve is unlimited!

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How Does Visualization Work?

What Is Visualization And How Can It Benefit Our Lives?

You will learn how to unlock your subconscious mind and tap into your own powers through visualization.

Preparing Yourself For Effective Visualization

You will learn why visualization can turn our goals into our realities.

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THE DAILY AFFIRMATION HANDBOOK

Discover the powerful affirmations that you can use to manifest your desires and live the life you’ve always wanted

If you’re struggling with manifesting all your heart’s desires, you are not alone.

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HERE ARE WHAT YOU WILL LEARN IN THIS GUIDE:

Understand what positive affirmations are and how they work to manifest your desires.

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You’ll learn how positive affirmations affect your subconscious mind and how it will ultimately build a positive and optimistic mental attitude.

Transform your negative mindset to one that is positive and gain the strength and courage to believe in yourself and follow your dreams.

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