#and ‘that’s how i’ll stay condemned to predetermined damnation for eternity’

[inkykeiji]

mhm im thinking, what would it take for reader to ever yell back at touya? she gave him attitude during the house party he threw and i wish i got to see more of how he would react if she pushed him further

oooooh anon this is a really good question!!!

tw: drug use, toxic relationships, physical abuse, mention of caning/whipping

it would have to be something really severe, either extreme jealousy again or something critically impacting his health, like his drug abuse getting increasingly worse and extremely dangerous. touya has seriously manipulated her into thinking that he knows what’s better for her more than anything or anyone else, and that he’s the only one who can take care of her properly (which is why so many times throughout the series itself she thinks to herself yes niichan, of course niichan etc) and in doing this has also convinced her that he knows better than her what’s best for HIM as well. it’s implied in the series itself that she’s expressed her concern over his drug addiction and that he has gotten VERY angry at her for it (literally don’t pray for me vibes hahaha. he hates her pity, it makes him feel pathetic and weak and VULNERABLE and he can’t fucking stand it. touya copes with negative and unpleasant emotions through drugs + completely and entirely ignoring them, and he doesn’t like to ask for help. no, he doesn’t want to talk about it, he’s fine goddamn it).

tw: physical abuse, manipulation

but let’s say, since you’re curious to know how he’d react, that she DOES really push him, that she does seriously LOSE IT on him and starts yelling and screaming and crying about either his drug use or his job—anon, it wouldn’t be pretty. he’d lose his fucking mind. he would fucking ROAR at her; how dare she speak to him that way, how dare she think she knows better than him!? how fucking disrespectful, especially after all he’s done for her—after all he does for her! he’d yank her by her hair and drag her towards their bedroom while spitting seething insults, words dripping with venom and eroded with acid that slice through the air like razors the moment they fall from his lips, going on about how goddamn stupid she is and how she should just keep her mouth shut on shit she doesn’t know anything about. he definitely wouldn’t be beyond backhanding her, if she’s STILL going, then he’d vow in a chilling voice void of any emotion to teach her a fucking lesson, that involves a night of extreme punishment; most likely caning or whipping and then rough sex, if he’s still feeling furious and pent up after all of that.

that isn’t even all, though. because touya is so emotionally immature, he wouldn’t talk to her for days after. he’d give her the cold shoulder—it’s what she deserves, after all—emotionally and mentally manipulating her into feeling AWFUL, into feeling like she’s entirely in the wrong and that she brought all of that pain onto herself, into believing that she really DID deserve it, until she comes crawling to him with tears in her eyes and sobs caught in her chest, begging him for forgiveness, promising him that she’ll never misbehave like that again.

now, with that being said, reader isn’t an idiot. she knows this is exactly what would happen, has had a taste of this outcome by merely expressing her worries in a soft and concerned voice, so to be honest with you, she wouldn’t dare attempt to speak to him that way unless it was really, really, REALLY bad and she was extremely upset. in other words, this would be a very, very rare situation and most likely would never happen in my lil AU ehehe BUT if it DID, this is how it would play out!!

[deepglitterfire]

You're fucking crazy, if you think that I'll ever change I am I, I am me, I'll never change my ways I'm a monster, and that's how I'll stay Condemned to predetermined damnation for eternity I don't want you to cry, I don't even want you to care Don't you dare pray for me, no There's things I bury inside to keep away from the light Don't you dare pray for me I've been so far gone for so long And I can't keep my head up out the bottle Holy fuck, why do I bother? I'm never gonna get any better I've waited so long to declare "I don't give a fuck if I die today" Holy shit, I've lost my mind Reality is starting to unwind Don't pray for me

[444fearofgod]

one eighty two.

1. KILL YOU - EMINEM

“when i was just a little baby boy, my momma used to tell me these crazy things. she used to tell me my daddy was an evil man, she used to tell me he hated me. but then i got a little bit older and i realized she was the crazy one, but there was nothing i could do or say to try to change it ‘cause that's just the way she was.”

Having grown up with a mentally ill parent, Giovanni didn’t think anything that he had experienced with his own mother was out of the ordinary. That was just his normal. Her crazy was his comfort, and he trusted her with every ounce of himself. Even after she sought help, he still didn’t want to believe anything was wrong with her up until he grew out of that naivety and realized just how bad everything really was. 

2. 9 - DRAKE

“and i can't sleep these days unless i take one. if they don't have a story these days, they'll make one. life is always on, man, i never get a break from it. doesn't matter where i go, i can never get away from it.”

Giovanni is living in Hell on earth AKA Sloane. Where someone is always in your business and always trying to make a scandal out of you. To outsiders it was just another drive through town, but to those who called it home, it was a nightmare. He has no escape from any of it, and quite literally at that. 

3. JUSTIN BIEBER WRIST - YUNG GRAVY

“i gotta ten outta ten, i got my mind on my M's. i'm glad it finally makes sense and now i'm doin' my dance. yeah this life's hittin' different when yo pants full of bands.”

If there’s anything Gio can say wholeheartedly, it’s that his wealth was thanks to nobody but himself. Nowadays, he’s living comfortably. Or at least, as comfortable as he possibly can. Plus, he truly does have a 10/10.

4. DON’T PRAY FOR ME - ASKING ALEXANDRIA 

“you're fucking crazy if you think that i'll ever change. i am i, i am me, i'll never change my ways. i'm a monster and that's how i'll stay, condemned to predetermined damnation for eternity.”

A lot of people don’t like Gio, and if he’s completely honest, he couldn’t care less. Those who know what he’s really about can see right through his charismatic facade into the sociopathic layer that lays right beneath it. That’s all fine and dandy though, because it’s not like he ever tries to hide the fact that he’s not a good person, and it’s other peoples fault for ever falling for his bullshit and believing that he could be.

5. AM I A PSYCHO - TECH N9NE

“mom, dad, i'm no longer the boy you're used to seeing. i’ve changed a lot, plus i've grown to hate every human being. my mood swings have now turned my dreams into gruesome scenes.”

Gio can sense he’s changed a lot since he was a kid. Even from when he was a younger adult, his view on this world has changed drastically, and not for the better. Not that his mother can see that though, because he’s still her baby boy no matter what.