#and 2) if sansa's view of jon means theyre not even family at all irrespective of what he calls her then is every 1-sided relash not incest?

[ladystoneboobs]

ok, my other stark family hot take is that i don’t think sansa was really much closer to robb than jon. we know robb/sansa also had a goodbye hug with the snowflakes in his hair, and that he led her, arya, and bran, into the crypts for his and jon’s cute ghost prank. but literally anything else between them is fanon, not canon. 

yeah, we know sansa thought of her big brothers very differently and would’ve wanted more interactions with robb and valued them more, but the question is what did he think/feel about her? without a pov, the best clue that we have (besides his refusal to trade jaime, which i do think he felt little choice about) is his reaction to sansa’s last letter to wf. where he blames her for the whole thing, not just arya’s exclusion, and needs luwin to point out these must have been cersei’s words that sansa was made to write. which is, um, a not great sign about the state of their relationship imho. my impression is more that sansa admired and idolized him from afar even when they still lived in the same castle. with the 4ishyr age difference and the highly gendered activity structures of their days i just don’t see much time for individual bonding. jon/arya’s first scene happens when arya runs away from her oh-so-important femimine lessons and jon is being excluded from male bonding, neither of which would apply to sansa or robb. sansa wasn’t interested in any “boyish” activities like arya was with all her brothers, and i see no evidence that robb would have interest in whatever more feminine playtimes sansa and her girly-girl cohort would get up to. 

lest anyone misunderstand and think I am perpetuating the myth of sansa an outsider within the stark household, never really one of them, i’ll just add that there is one starkling who appeared to have an equally warm relationship with both sisters and that’s bran. which makes sense since he was the one closest in age to the girls and is known for being a sweet kid who gets along well with most people, as evident from his first chapter. then there’s rickon too, who i’m sure sansa also had a good enough relationship with, but there’s really only so much closeness to be had between a tween and a toddler. (and lbr, rickon/any other starkling is mostly fanon too. all we know of him pre-abandonment is that he liked sweets, which is true of almost every little kid who can eat sweets. the “wildness” he’s primarily defined by was not an intrinsic distinguishing characteristic when the family still lived together, but a new trait developed only after they split as a response to the situation he was far too young to understand.) 

though as much as i’d like more bran and sansa fandom solidarity, it’s not like i’m saying everyone should focus on their relationship either, regardless of personal preference for other characters or fanon, bc that would be obnoxious.