#and Chakotay's like 'kathryn be honest with me...is there someone else?'

[bumblingbabooshka]

Tuvok/Janeway DOES hit do NOT get me wrong but there’s something so intriguing to me about Tuvok/Janeway but they’re both women

[kncrowder88]

Voyager and Romance

So, the thing about Voyager and romance that sticks with me is they seem to do one couple really, or more accurately two characters, any real justice overall. And that is B’Elanna and Tom. While moments for that relationship may not be perfect that is rather realistic for relationships, as no relationship is perfect all the time so that is tolerable. This post though isn’t going to be about looking at that particular relationship though but primarily at other relationships. Largely because a discord server I am in was talking about Counterpoint and I realized why I both love the episode but also have weird feelings with it. Which, I’ll touch more on that specifically after I discuss the relationship stuff (as that plays a part).

So, I will preface this with it has been a bit since I’ve done a binge of Voyager and really a full binge of Star Trek in general. As such, I may forget a few relationships on the show and overall, throughout Trek in general. From what I can really toss together … I honestly am beginning to believe that when it comes to Voyager and the other shows (the older ones not the new ones – I am not including any NEW Trek in this) that for some reason the relationship writing with Voyager was rather different. Like, they gave 3 characters active relationships prior to being stranded. That being Harry Kim, Kathryn Janeway, and Tuvok. Out of these three we get Janeway and Tuvok holding onto those relationships in their own way while … it seemed mildly convenient for Harry to mention it when it suited him, I guess (like that time Tom wanted to set them up for a double date or you know when he ended up in that alternate timeline but still wanted back with Voyager even more like). Like, the reason I don’t list Tuvok-T’Pel above is because we don’t actually get to SEE that in full, we just get to see Tuvok’s side of it and his dedication – we don’t see the relationship, we don’t see the couple.

Harry and Tom, prior to his relationship with B’Elanna, seem to frequently do this sort of two bros dating around thing which is fine but like … same time the show used them for that. And once they settled Tom with B’Elanna they used Harry in those plot lines when it worked. Thus the alien STD episode and the “how dare you not get the standard permission from your CO and CMO” line (like they really put that into a Trek ep and I’m still unable to not picture Riker, Kirk, Picard, and everyone other Trek character constantly getting permission for their latest romance – just remember Jadzia and Worf likely had to get permission from Sisko and Bashir if the Trill and Klingon weren’t already approved of in the system just saying, that’s a thing that happened). Anyways … my point is they went out of their way on this. Like, when Kes was with Neelix they wrote Neelix to be that jealous judgmental boyfriend who literally got upset she knew where other people’s quarters where, she was nice to Tom, she was … just yeah. They wrote Tom to come off as a player pulling Harry into it, when Tom settled down Harry seems to pick that up (I mean you got his “omg Seven” phase and the alien STD stuff and lord knows what else I’m forgetting with him).

And to top this off I haven’t even touched on the “Janeway can’t have a romance” stuff yet. Which is where my real problem is. Like, its bad enough they brought in Jeri for the sex appeal (which lets be honest stems from the fact they couldn’t use Janeway for that – which I get, Kate was right in the whole concept of the audience target having to keep respect for a female lead and sex appeal couldn’t be a focal point but they could have balanced it right and regrettably because they couldn’t that meant Jeri got all of the other side of the coin). Many of Seven’s eps center on romance or social stuff and honestly that is a whole other WTF post in its own right because it all leads up to the sudden get with the one person on the ship who didn’t want you here in the first place and who also would have served better as the male adult guidance figure/father figure than as a ROMANTIC partner but hey BS happened behind scenes to cause that chaotic romantic on screen set up. But yeah … this is just another example of the poor Voyager romantic plot lines.

Chakotay’s romantic plot lines are usually – and by that, I mean pretty much always – with these strong independent women. But usually, at least from what I recall, they are also typically the “needs help” (damsel in distress/can’t do it alone/etc.) plot. Like, Riley was strong independent but also set up to need help in regard to getting her little collective put back together on the planet. You got Kellin, again another strong lady who yet again also needed help. At least in the ep she’s in and if I recall much of the info on how they fell in love during that time as well – primarily with getting away from danger at the start and then during the initial romance finding her target. Valerie is the only one who doesn’t fall into the needs help plot and that’s largely because she was being manipulated by Chakotay for information – which honestly just goes to show how well Chakotay was at the whole undercover stuff (which tells us a lot about what he could have been doing as a Maquis). Seska was the plot point of “you once dated her, now she is going to badger you to get with her again and when that fails, she’s going to assault you” …. like all of Chakotay’s romances are literally him either 1) being manipulated (as that’s what Seska and Riley did) or 2) being the kind guy or 3) not an actual relationship (either because its undercover work or because the writers were too cowardly to make him and Janeway canon).

Then you got Janeway. Then you got KATHRYN JANEWAY. You know, the one where Kate Mulgrew said no romance, no sexualizing, no doing that sort of stuff because the audience had to maintain respect for the character. I’m sure someone has the exact various quotes out there. Like … this is why we don’t have JC as canon. But what we do got instead is …. Janeway in Prime Factors being flirted with by the administrator as if that’s going to get him what he wants because “female leader means flirt with her”. We got Janeway and a period drama holodeck adventure in the early years which was clearly meant to be her romantic tête-à-tête early on that never got followed up with. We got “delete the wife” with the Fair Haven plot point (because its totally respectable to see the FEMALE LEAD, the STARFLEET CAPTAIN, just straight up DELETE THE WIFE of another individual - yeah, I get its meant to be humor factor because hologram but come on). You have her whole thing with Mark which we get tidbits off but again similar to Tuvok we literally only get to see her side of it – the only couple moment of theirs we get is the comm call in Caretaker.

But Jaffen? You are correct. We got that lovely and touching and wonderful romance with Jaffen …. Oh wait … they had to remove her from the ship, strip her of her memory, and her autonomy in order for her to have a relationship with another individual. And yes, by losing her memories, by losing what made her who she was as a person, she did lose a sense of autonomy. She entered into a relationship without a full sense of independent choice. The point in which she made a choice in that episode, the point in which she – Kathryn Janeway – made a choice with all of the person, the individual she is, was at the end when she had her memories back and could decide based on the values and beliefs and all that she is. What I’m getting at is the people on that planet deliberately took away who she was, they took her memories and her ability to make the decisions they knew she would make --- they did that deliberately (that’s even established in the episode) --- and as such her decisions while in that state are not truly her full independent decisions but the ones impacted by the state she was forced into.

And while I love Resolutions, while I love all the JC goodies, we get in that ep … Yet again the only time we get to see Janeway in any sort of romantic situation is when they remove her from the ship. When they remove her from command. When they strip her of that setting. This time, though – well the first time – she keeps awareness and has to go through lose of it all in order to even start to let it all happen. I love the episode, I do, but I just find it rather amusing they went “’Hey we gotta strand them what should their tasks be on the planet?” and they immediately went “Well Janeway is scientist how about that” “Okay and he can build, Chakotay can start building. Man builds house, right?” and then like went “oh and then she can start a garden” …. Like really? Really? That’s what you got for me. Oh, and then there is the monkey. That’s the romance this ep. Boat, science, monkey.

Then we got Kashyk. We have dealt with Kathryn throughout this series dealing with various leaders of various styles. As mentioned, Prime Factors guy attempted flirting. Other leaders pulled similar or worse or even dismissed her …. Like the list goes on. Counterpoint is a great episode because it deals with prejudice and is rather dark. The thing is, had Janeway been able to have a healthy romantic relationship on screen to counter this episode this episode probably would have come off better. Episodes like Prime Factor could have been done different (that leader didn’t need to be as flirty for example). One or two eps through the series having creepy dudes she had to deal with, fine, whatever … that be a nice impact for the audience. But when you have to many prior to Counterpoint – even if its minor, small stuff – it makes this episode so much harder for fans. Especially the female fans who deal with this constantly.

See, here’s the thing with this ep…. Some of the fans who watch … we know Kashyk well. We know that character. He is that male leader, that male power figure, who uses the power he has to manipulate those in his control to get what he wants. And Kathryn … Kathryn was in his control. Kashyk is listed as a relationship on memory-alpha. But much like how I view Seska with Chakotay … I do not view Kashyk as a proper relationship. In Devore space, Kathryn did not have proper power. She had people in her command, on her ship, that she had to protect. That she knew she had to protect. Her own best friend … lives in her hand … and Kashyk right there willing to kill them. Willing to snatch them up and destroy them. And he used that power to manipulate her and play her. Yes, she played him right back but … did she truly have a choice? Did she have any other choice but to play his game? What would have happened if she said no? And that … that is why this episode is so unsettling for some people. And why this relationship being considered on is so off putting … that the writers, that memory-alpha, that the fact I’m putting it on this list as one of the ones on here for Voyager says so much … they wrote this as one of her relationships while out there … she had to do what so many women had to do to stay safe, to keep people she loves safe, and that’s not a relationship.

Voyager could have done romance/relationships such better justice.

[songbookff]

Valentine's j/7 ❤

I’m making this an established janeway/seven. Set whenever you want it to be. Also it turned out a waaaayyy longer than I thought...so I also posted it on A03. Thank you, anon. If you want me to gift you the fic on A03, just message me your username. Or if you want to stay anon, that’s fine too. 

In the early morning, Captain Janeway entered her office and went straight for her replicator. Coffee was calling. She gave the computer her normal order, but to her surprise, when her coffee appeared, so did a single red rose. 

Tentatively, she reached out to touch the vibrantly colored rose. Attached to the green stem was a note. It was odd, to see the cardstock, although replicated and the small ribbon that secured it in place. In printed script, it read: “Roses are red...” 

Kathryn pulled the rose up to her face, knowing that the scent was replicated, but reveling in it all the same. She turned away and made it halfway to her desk before she remembered that her coffee was still sitting in the replicator. Even a red rose couldn’t completely distract her from her morning cup of survival. 

Rose in one hand, coffee in the other, she slipped into her chair behind her desk, only to find a small bouquet of purplish-blue flowers. A blue ribbon tied the stems together and another note attached. This one read, “Violets are blue...” 

She set down the rose and her coffee (after a quick sip of course) and picked up the bundle. These felt different than the replicated rose. Katheryn’s eyes widened when she realized these were from Voyager’s own botanical gardens. They were real violets, not generated by the computer. They felt much more delicate than the rose and she could see the tiny imperfections of being grown rather than created. They were truly beautiful. 

After replicating a small vase with water to set them in, Kathryn tried to start her day. However, there was the faintest smile on her face and she was convinced her coffee tasted better this morning. Finally, she pulled up her data padd to review the reports from the night shift. When the padd turned on, a single message appeared, marked urgent. 

Odd. Usually urgent messages were reported by the computer so that she didn’t miss any when she was sleeping or off duty. She pressed open and the text read: “...I would like to spend dinner in the holodeck just with you.” 

This time, Kathryn didn’t attempt to suppress the smile. Whatever Seven was up to, she had gone out of her way to surprise her this morning. The poem sounded familiar now. It was an old Earth romantic ballad of sorts: “Roses are red, violets, are blue...” usually followed by a rhyming ending that expressed love and adoration. It was clever, really. 

And very unlike Seven of Nine. This of course, only intrigued Kathryn more. 

However, she did have a ship to run. So she pulled up the reports and began reading, trying not to let the beautiful flowers on her desk distract her. It seemed everything had been quiet the night before, so the reports were short. A blown fuse on deck three had been the only excitement of the night and had been resolved within a half hour. 

The door chimed after an hour, and she rose for her morning meeting with Chakotay. He entered the office was a pleasant smile, hands tucked behind his back. “Good morning, Captain.” 

“It has been...” admitted Kathryn with a smile. She couldn’t help but noticed he had a mischievous look in his eyes. “Chakotay, what’s going on?” 

“Can’t slip anything past you,” he chuckled. “Nothing new to report, although B’elanna claims to have come up with an idea to maximize our warp capacity by another percentage. I’ll be sure to have someone double check her math before she begins any experimentation. Although, Tom has volunteered to do the preliminary fight tests on the shuttle. So she can’t think it’s that dangerous.” 

“Just make sure Harry is there to monitor,” replied Kathryn with a smirk. 

“Will do. Also, I have been asked to make a delivery.” From behind his back, Chakotay produced a red box that had been formed in the shape of a geometric heart. He was grinning from ear to ear now, obviously in on whatever Seven was planning by the looks of the box he was holding out to her. 

Curiously, she took the box, surprised a little by the weight of it. Under Chakotay’s excited gaze, she opened it to find an assortment of tiny chocolates also shaped as hearts. They appeared to be different flavors and if she could guess, different fillings as well. 

“What is going on?” she repeated, astonished at the chocolates. 

Chakotay laughed and shrugged, innocently proclaiming, “I’m just they delivery guy. But I do have strict instructions that you are to try one before we get out on the bridge.” 

Chocolate wasn’t something she normally indulged in, especially not for breakfast, but the warm feeling in the pit of her stomach, knowing somehow this was all Seven’s design, forced her to comply. She picked a dark brown piece with a red swirl design and popped it into her mouth. 

“Well?” asked Chakotay, eyebrow raised in anticipation. 

“Dark chocolate with cherry. Absolutely delicious,” declared Kathryn. Then she let out a chuckle at the ridiculousness of the situation. She set the chocolates on the desk next to the rose and the vase she had put the violets in. 

Together, they exited her ready room to start the morning on the bridge. Her crew was bustling as usual. To be honest it had been a dull week, but after all the excitement they had recently, Kathryn was glad for the down time. There was maintenance to be done and the crew were rotating on new shifts to get some down time. So for the next hour, Kathryn read reports in the Captain’s chair, tuning out the business of the bridge. 

That is until Harry Kim was at her elbow. He cleared his throat and hesitated, “Captain...” 

“What can I do for you, Ensign?” asked Kathryn. Noticing the nervous expression on his face, she added, “What did Lieutenant Paris do now?” 

“I’m right here!” came the exasperated call from the helm. Tom whirled around in his seat, throwing his hands in the air. The tension broke and Harry managed a short laugh. 

“As you were,” ordered Kathryn. Tom turned back to his helm, but not before giving Harry a wink. 

“Captain, I need to borrow your badge...and your pips...”

“Excuse me?” 

“Just for a few minutes,” he hastily said. “I just need to upgrade the badge!” 

“And my pips?” Kathryn raised an eyebrow. Harry stood firm under her gaze and reached out his open palm. 

Chakotay leaned over in his chair and whispered, “Don’t interrogate the poor kid. Just give him what he asked for...” 

It suddenly dawned on Kathryn that this was another part of Seven’s elaborate plan. Of course, she had no idea what in the world Harry would do with her badge or rank, but wordlessly she plucked the badge from her chest and allowed Chakotay to help her unpin the four pips from her collar. 

Eagerly, Harry hustled away without another word. Amused glances were being exchanged between her bridge crew and she swore she saw Tuvok give Harry a nod of approval as he left the bridge. Kathryn spend the next half hour wondering what in the stars everyone was up to when Harry returned, velvet box in hand. 

Wordlessly, he handed it to her before scurrying back to his post at Ops. Chakotay was staring at the blur of stars on the viewscreen now, purposely giving her a moment of privacy. Kathryn opened the box to reveal her comm badge and four shining pips staring back at her. She hadn’t seen them this polished since they were new, well before Voyager had entered the Delta Quadrant. 

It wasn’t that she didn’t take care of her hardware, but keeping them shining was the last thing on her mind during most of the journey. But here they were, good as new. The badge gleamed too, no residual fingerprints any more. She pinned it back on and nudged Chakotay to help her put the pips back on her collar. 

Harry cleared his throat from Ops and she turned in her chair to face him. With the slightest red in his cheeks he said, “I think you’ll find I took care of the problem you were having with your badge sticking.” 

“Very good, Ensign,” was all she could think to say. For the past two weeks, she had been complaining that her badge needed to be hit twice on occasion to connect to the computer. If they were in Starfleet space, the comm badges would be replaced regularly so this wouldn’t happen. 

The rest of the morning went on as normal, although now Kathryn was wondering what else could possibly happened. Lunchtime came and she made her way to the Mess Hall. There were a few crew members already enjoying lunch. However, she reached the replicators, a voice called out. 

“Captain! Your lunch is already ready for you.” Standing behind her was Icheb, proudly holding a tray. “Today the kitchen has prepared a vegetable and bean stew with a side of crusty bread.” 

Icheb, still learning about human cuisine seemed unsure of what he was saying, but a steaming bowl sat atop the tray and a slice of toasted french bread rested on a napkin next to it. The stew was reminiscent of one that she had grown up eating, although it was usually replicated if she remembered correctly. It was a favorite of her father. 

“Thank you, Icheb,” she said politely, taking the tray from him. He gave her a quick nod before turning on his heal to go back into the kitchen. Kathryn gave a small shake of her head in amusement. What a day this was turning out to be...

The stew was tasty, if a little heavy on beans and the bread was as crusty as Icheb had said. Still, it was a good lunch, one she had not been expecting. As she wiped up the last of the stew with her bread, Naomi Wildman slipped into the chair across from her. 

“Hello, Captain.” The girl had a broad smile on her face. 

“How are you, Naomi?” asked Kathryn, wondering what Seven could have put the child up to. 

“I have something for you,” replied Naomi with excitement. From her lap, hidden from Kathryn’s view, she produced a small stuffed bear. It was brown with a red bow around the neck and wasn’t much bigger than Naomi’s hands. She pushed it over for Kathryn to grab and then slipped off the chair and skipped out of the Mess Hall. 

The bear was soft and fit perfectly into Kathryn’s grasp. The little thing made her smile, right there in front of the other members of the crew in the Mess Hall. Most were grinning back at her and now Kathryn was certain that the entire ship was in on Seven’s escapade. 

She took the bear back to the bridge with her and said nothing when Chakotay tried to cover a laugh at the sight of it sitting on the arm of her chair. She had no idea what had possessed Seven, or rather Naomi, to give it to her, but she enjoyed the little stuff thing. It was silly, but sweet. 

Two hours later, Tuvok called her attention, “Captain. I believe it is time to report to your quarters.” 

“I’m on shift for another three hours, Tuvok.” 

“I will escort you to your quarters.” The answer was firm and when she looked behind her, he had left his post and was waiting by the turbolift doors. 

Everyone on the bridge seemed to be determined to stare at their consoles and not look directly at her. Well, she had played along all morning, why stop now? With a sigh, she pushed herself out of the Captain’s seat and walked towards the exit. 

“Forgetting something?” asked Chakotay, holding up the little bear. He was failing miserably at keeping his face neutral.

“You have the bridge, Commander.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

Kathryn retrieved the bear with a roll of her eyes and then allowed Tuvok to escort her back to her quarters. “Tuvok, will you please tell me what is going on?”

“I have been sworn to the strictest of confidences.” He continued to look straight ahead. 

“I know Seven is behind all of this...but it’s interfering with my job now.” 

He didn’t answer until the reached her door and then he slowly turned and spoke, “I would never place you or this ship in any precarious situation. I assure you that this is in your best interest and should a situation arrive that would need your direct attention, I will be the first to summon you.” 

“Thank you, Tuvok.” He held up the Vulcan salute and then left her to enter her quarters. 

When the doors whooshed open, she could hear soothing music playing. The lights were dimmed and there was a large porcelain bathtub where her coffee table used to be. And Neelix was standing behind it, grinning from ear to ear. 

“Captain! Welcome to Neelix’s home spa treatment!” he greeted her with a grand motion of his arms.

“How...?” Kathryn glanced back at her closed door and then back at Neelix. 

“We were worried you may not have appreciated the intrusion. But I promise that I haven’t been in any of your personal belongings. I brought all my own things. Your table was the only thing removed.” He winked at her and then, like the showman he was, waved his hands dramatically and began by lifting a small bowl from the small table he had arranged next to the bath tub.“Today I have for you the most luxurious and moisturizing face cream that will leave you glowing and relieved.” 

Placing the bowl back down he reached for a bottle and wine glass also sitting on the table. Pouring the red liquid into in the glass, he said, “A top of the line red wine that comes from Earth, the French region, I believe. It is dry with a hint of blackberries and oak.” 

“And here,” he pulled a leather bound book from seemingly thin air, “Is your entertainment for the evening. A romance novel circa the twentieth century, for your enjoyment.” 

“All of this in what is called a ‘bathtub’.” Neelix motioned towards the tub with a sweep of his hand. “I made some adjustments to make it more comfortable. I have no idea how humans could stand sitting for long period of times with that shape. Seven wanted everything to be as historically accurate as possible, so we’ll just have to keep that secret to ourselves. The water will remain the most comfortable of temperatures for the human body and it has bubbles that give off the scent of lavender.” 

“Thank you?” Kathryn eyed the bathtub wearily and then back to Neelix. 

He had produced a plum colored robe and walked towards her. The silk was soft on her hands when she grasped the it. “I will leave you know. Just let the computer know if you need anything. Your next guest will be arriving at eighteen hundred hours to help you get ready for your dinner on the holosuite. The computer will give you a fifteen minute warning.” 

Neelix left with a wink and a smile, leaving Kathryn alone with the robe and bathtub. Self care like this wasn’t something she indulged in anymore. It made her a little uncomfortable at first, as she stripped off her uniform and put on the robe. 

A sip of wine helped relax her senses and she liberally applied Neelix’s face cream to her face. She figured that even if Neelix had somehow given her something that she was allergic to, the Doctor would be able to set it right. Once the face mask had been applied, she slipped off the robe and climbed into the tub. 

As she lowered her body into the perfectly warmed water, she found the modifications that Neelix had been talking about. Instead of the rounded bottom of the tub, she found a soft, almost cushiony chair, waiting for her to rest on. She sunk back against the porcelain with a sigh. 

After another sip of wine, she reached for the book. She hadn’t read it before, but it looked like something she would enjoy. It as written in the twentieth century, but appeared to take place in the eighteenth. Soon, she was entranced in the story, with nothing but the soothing music, warm water, and delicious wine to fill her mind. 

The computer chimed some time later, altering her that she needed to get out of the tub. There was a towel hanging from the edge of the tub that she used to dry off and then put the silky robe back on. The door chimed and she said enter without even asking who it was. 

To her surprise, B’Elanna burst through the door, a black garment bag slung over her shoulder. She took one look at Kathryn, frowned, and said, “What the hell do you have on your face?” 

Kathryn had completely forgotten about the face cream and hoped she wasn’t supposed to have removed it after a certain amount of time. “I’m not sure she admitted.” 

“Well, go wash it off while I get these out.” B’Elanna made a shooing motion while she walked over to Kathryn’s bed. Kathryn went into the bathroom to wash off the cream. To her relief, her face appeared to be fine. In fact, she felt light and refreshed. 

When she came back in, B’Elanna had laid two pieces of clothing on the bed. One was a dark green gown, with a lace pattern overlaid on the silken material on the chest. It was belted at the waist and floor length. The second was a light grey suit, with a silken green shirt beneath it that matched the dress. Both had obviously been tailored to her size. 

“I have no idea what Seven was thinking, putting me in charge of getting you dressed. So I got some opinions from the other women in the crew and we decided on these two. There is a bet going about whether you will pick the dress or the suit. I’m betting on the suit, so don’t let me down.” 

Both garments were beautiful, but B’Elanna was right, the suit was probably more her style. The dress was beautiful, but the thought of wearing it down to the holosuite for anyone to see made her uncomfortable. 

“I’ll wear the suit, but leave the dress.” Maybe later she could put it on just for Seven. 

B’Elanna clapped her hands together in triumph. “Alright, so Seven wanted this to be authentic, hence the real clothes, but I’m not a stylist. So I programmed the holodeck to do your hair and makeup when you enter. She’ll never know. And don’t worry, I am a firm believer that no one needs makeup, so it won’t be anything heavy.” 

If there was one person on this ship that Kathryn trusted wouldn’t overdo her hair or makeup, it was B’Elanna. “Thank you.”

“Alright, let’s get you into this thing. Wouldn’t want to keep the Borg waiting...” she grinned at her own joke and Kathryn rolled her eyes. It was a teasing that had been occurring since Kathryn and Seven had made their relationship public. 

The pants and shirt fit like a glove and B’Elanna helped her get the suit jacket on. B’Elanna stood back, admiring her work. “Huh. It does look good.” 

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” replied Kathryn sarcastically. “But seriously, thank you.” 

“Don’t mention it.” B’Elanna straightened her collar and added, “Seriously. Let’s never mention this again.” 

“Deal.” 

The two women left the Captain’s quarters and headed toward the holosuite. There weren’t too many crewmembers in the corridors. Kathryn wondered if they had been instructed to make themselves scarce or if everyone was just busy. Waiting by the holosuite was Tom Paris, bottle in hand, leaning against the bulkhead. 

Tom let out a whistle when Kathryn and B’Elanna approached him and his wife punched him in the shoulder for it. Kathryn only rolled her eyes. “Is that bottle for me?” 

“The finest champagne I could replicate. I did a little magic with the replicator to get around the safety features, that that there is the real deal. Harry and I tried a dozen just to make sure you got the best one. It’s authentic as you can get this far into the delta quadrant.” Tom handed her the bottle with a wink. Then he slung his arm around B’Elanna’s shoulder. “My fair lady, would you escort me back to our quarters. I seem to have lost my way.”

“How much did you drink, you idiot?” B’Elanna grabbed ahold of Tom and as they walked away, she called over her shoulder, “Have a good evening, Captain.” 

“Go get the girl!” shouted Tom, encouragingly. He let out a hoot that was quickly shushed by his wife. 

Bottle in hand, smile on her face, Kathryn entered the simulation. She walked into what appeared to be a countryside vineyard of old Earth. A single table for two was set on a stone patio that had fairy lights strung up in the air. A pair of candles lit the table on a white table cloth. Long stemmed champagne glasses were paired with white china plates. 

“Hello, Kathryn.” Seven of Nine walked out of the vineyard across from Kathryn. She was dressed in a beautiful, shimmering full length red dress. The neckline dipped to reveal just enough of her chest to make Kathryn blush. It was held up by slender straps and blonde hair was curled on her shoulders. The color was gorgeous and Kathryn was sure that her jaw dropped. 

“Seven...you look...” Kathryn gripped the neck of the champagne bottle tighter as she tried to find the right words. “You are beautiful.”  

“I am partial to the dress,” replied Seven, looking down at herself. “It is impractical, but I believe it has the desired effect.” 

“All of this is beautiful,” said Kathryn as she approached the table. “Today was been wonderful. Quite surprising, but wonderful.” 

“Your suit fits you well. I find that my attraction to you is heightened in that outfit.” Kathryn allowed herself to blush under Seven’s gaze. Seven motioned for her to take a seat. 

Suddenly, the Doctor, dressed in a tuxedo appeared out of thin air. “May I take that bottle from you, Captain?” 

“I...yes...” Kathryn handed it over, surprised by his appearance. He deftly popped the cork and poured out the two glasses as the women seated themselves. 

“Tonight, I will be serving a lobster linguine. We will begin with a light salad to prime the palate and then we will move to the main course. A decadent chocolate cheesecake will be served for dessert.” He gave them a smile and then snapped his fingers and the salads appeared on the plate in front of them. With another snap, he had disappeared. 

“Seven, what is all of this?” asked Kathryn. “Not that I don’t appreciate it, but I don’t understand.” 

“As you know, I have been studying Earth history to help reconnect with my humanity. I came across several holidays and traditions that have intrigued me. Some of them were based on religious or political movements of the time. I found one particularly of interest now that I am in a relationship with you. It is called ‘St. Valentine’s Day’. Have you heard of it?” 

A smile graced Kathryn’s face. “I have.” 

“I was confused by the history at first. There are conflicting thoughts on the origins of the holiday, but all seemed to be grim. However, it transformed into a day to celebrate lovers. When calendar dates were still being observed, it occurred annually on February fourteenth. I decided to make today Valentine’s Day for just the two of us.” Seven tilted her head to the side. “I thought it would be romantic.” 

“It is...” murmured Kathryn. She took another bite of salad. “I don’t know that much about the history of Valentine’s Day. I understood your poem this morning. I think it is a traditional Valentine.” 

“Yes. Roses and violets. Although, the name violets implies a purple color rather than blue, I did not correct it in order to continue the rhyme. I read that a dozen roses is a common gift, but a single red rose often implies more intimacy. Therefore, I provided a single red rose and a dozen violets.”  

“Chocolates are a traditional gift for lovers, even now. I can’t wait to eat the rest of them.” 

“I too am found of chocolates,” admitted Seven and Kathryn filed that information away for use at a later date. “Another traditional gift is jewelry. However, necklaces, bracelets, and rings are against the dress code. And you do not wear any off duty.” 

“So you had my pips and badge cleaned.” Her heartbeat quickened. Seven had thought all of this through. It really was romantic. Kathryn wasn’t sure she could love the woman more, but somehow, she still had the ability to surprise her. 

“Another common gift was stuffed animals. The Doctor explained that these are not taxidermized animals, but fluff stuffed fake figures. They are more commonly used by children for comfort. A ‘teddy bear’ is a traditional stuffed animal.” 

“It was cute,” laughed Kathryn and to her pleasure, she saw Seven’s eyes light up at her reaction. “The spa was nice, too.” 

“I am pleased that you enjoyed it.” Seven gave her a natural smile. Goodness, she was so beautiful, especially over candlelight. 

The Doctor cleared his throat to announce his return. He snapped his fingers and announced, “Dinner is served.” 

The salad plates disappeared and were replaced by a delicious looking pasta dish, topped with pieces of lobster. Breadsticks appeared in the middle of the table. Seven motioned to the food and explained, “Many references sourced traditional pasta from the Italian region of Earth was a common Valentine’s meal. Others reported that a home cooked meal that was nostalgic was also a good choice.” 

“So you made my father’s favorite stew.” 

Seven nodded. “You don’t have many favorites, but you talk about your family so often. I thought it would be the correct touch.” 

“It was perfect.” Kathryn reached across the table to take Seven’s hand in her own. “All of it was perfect.” 

“I believe the correct response would be that you are perfect. But I think that is incorrect. Everyone has flaws. It is in our nature.” Seven gave her hand a squeeze. “But I feel like you deserve to be treated with perfection, because I love you.” 

“I love you, too, Seven.” The candlelight twinkled in their eyes. 

“We should engage in eating this meal. My research says it will be pleasing to the palate,” added Seven with a tiny smirk. Kathryn laughed and picked up her fork to dig into the pasta. 

Seven was right, it was delicious. And so was the slice of cheesecake that they shared for dessert. When they were finished, the Doctor appeared again. “I hope you enjoyed your dinner tonight. If you will stand please, I will delete the table and leave you two ladies to enjoy the rest of your evening.” 

Both Kathryn and Seven rose to their feet. The Doctor snapped his fingers and the table disappeared. He gave them both a little bow and then snapped himself out of the simulation. Upon his departure, music starting playing. Soft, but with a dancing rhythm. Seven offered her hand and Kathryn accepted. 

The two began dancing, slowly turning on the stone patio together, beneath the moonlight and the tiny string of lights above them. Kathryn pulled Seven’s thin body tightly against her own. She dropped her face to press their cheeks together, breathing in the scent that was Seven. 

Kathryn loved being this close to Seven. They fit together so well. It was something that Kathryn had never experienced with anyone else. She loved the feel of Seven’s body against her own. 

“I am pleased that you are my Valentine,” whispered Seven in her ear. Kathryn smiled and pressed a kiss to Seven’s collarbone. 

Then she pulled back just enough to lock eyes with her lover. Gently, Kathryn raised her hand from Seven’s hip to cup her face. Then she firmly pressed their lips together. Beneath the moonlight, Kathryn kissed her Valentine. 

[mia-cooper]

2019 fanfiction in review

I usually put more effort into pimping my favourite fics of the year, boosting a few new writers in my fandoms, etc. This year, however, I have not, for reasons both within and beyond my control. Which is pretty much my excuse for not Doing Better with writing for the past month or so, but hey. At least there’s this.

.......................................................

1. Best fic(s) you read all year, and why?

How can I even begin to list all the beautiful, shocking, feel-good, feel-terrible-but-in-a-good-way, envy-inducing, page-turning, soul-destroying, fluffy, hilarious, infuriating and horny fics I’ve read this year? I can’t. So I will instead list three that come immediately to mind.

@curator-on-ao3 – The Dismissed Protocol (rated T, VOY, TNG, Janeway & Crusher)

This fic made me angry. So angry that I left a ranty and incoherent comment, slammed down the lid on my laptop and stormed around the house for a bit. Why was I so pissed, you ask? Because this fic hit a good few of my personal triggers around bodily autonomy and the right to make informed choices, and because although the fic ends triumphantly, it’s somewhat of a pyrrhic victory and it left a really bad taste in my mouth. Which, considering this is fiction, is the mark of some really good writing. When it comes to tackling difficult topics with a fresh and thought-provoking perspective, and without opting for the easy answers, Curator never disappoints. This story is just one of many examples of that in her work.

@love-in-the-time-of-kolinahr​ – it will take place without witnesses (rated E, DSC, Pike/Number One)

Okay so let me start by saying it was the author’s fucking EXCELLENT pun of a pseudonym that made me read this in the first place. Then it was the poem they quoted (Discovery by Wislawa Szymborska, which is like a portentous rocket in the guts). Then it was Una’s scales-off-the-eyes, we-are-true-equals, don’t-bullshit-me-lover candidness in the way she sees, talks to, knows Chris Pike. I adore Pike in his laconic-space-cowboy-with-a-heart Disco incarnation, I like him a lot as the CoolDad in AOS, but this fic? This fic gives me smart, forthright, deeply tender Number One, and Pike as the fractured and very human hero I hope like hell we’ll see more of because they are definitely making a Pike series RIGHT? It is written. Anyway… this fic is beautiful and harsh and deft and real and sexy and poetic and at its core it’s about love, and who doesn’t love love?

@captacorn​ – Stars in a Ruined Sky (rated M, VOY, Paris/Torres)

It took me a while to read this one because CaptAcorn was posting it at the same time I was writing my epic, and I had no brain space to maintain a hold on someone else’s dark and compelling plot. But when I picked this one up, I couldn’t put it down. It is AMAZING. A Timeless AU, set in a universe where Voyager crashed and most of the crew survived, this goes where no other 100k+ epic I’ve read before has dared to tread, and it does so without flinching. The details are what make this unforgettable – there’s no magic reset button, so when something bad happens to the crew, there are actual lasting consequences – but it’s the humanity of the characters (if I can use that word to describe a crew that includes aliens) that makes it unputdownable (fuck off, my nana said that’s a word). This is not an AU I want to think happened, but CaptAcorn makes it one that rings true. And I’ll definitely read this again when I have the emotional fortitude for it.

Wow, there’s no Janeway/Chakotay in my top three. What? So here’s a bonus:

Northernexposure’s trilogy – Soft Light, Aftershocks and Resolution (rated E, VOY, Janeway/Chakotay) – three for the price of one! I mean, when northernexposure posts a new fic I race to read it no matter what, but smut! Beautifully written, true to character, sexy sexy smut from one of my all time favourite authors! How could I turn that down?

2. Best fic(s) you published all year, and why?

Mmmyeah to be honest I kinda feel as though my writing peaked in 2017, but here we go.

Desperate Measures (rated E, VOY, Janeway/Chakotay and other pairings) – because there’s angst and smut and the plot is twisty as fuck and I feel like there’s a pretty satisfying payoff. And it’s really long and relies on the reader engaging with my OCs which people seem to have done, which makes me think that if I ever do want to go write another original novel, maybe I won’t want to burn it as soon as I’m done.

This Is The Moment (rated M, DSC, Pike/Tyler) – because these two have exhausting chemistry and I couldn’t not write this but it was hard to make it come out of my brain the way I wanted it. But I’m really happy with it.

And I have a soft spot for First Officer’s Log (rated T, VOY, Chakotay & Tuvok, implied Janeway/Paris), because I just really love Threshold, okay? And while the episode is wack on so many levels there are really dark and heavy themes to explore there which I feel have gone very unexplored and I hope my fic struck that same balance between moral philosophy and holywhatthefuckery.

3. Favourite opening line(s) in a fic you published in 2019:

From Bad Maquis (rated M, VOY, Janeway/Chakotay):

The only thing more restrictive – and bosomy – than this outfit, Kathryn mused as she stared at her reflection, was her holodeck governess costume.



Still, at least she didn’t have to leave her quarters wearing this getup, and thank goodness for small mercies. Because she was on the verge of backing down from this challenge as it was, and Kathryn Janeway did not chicken out. Ever.

I mean, it sets the scene, doesn’t it? Who doesn’t love Janeway in leather.

4. Favourite closing line(s):

This is maybe cheating a little bit because this fic isn’t finished, but this first chapter can stand alone and I won’t be continuing it for some time (first, I have to finish the two prequels, haha). Anyway, these are the closing lines from Inertia (rated T so far, VOY, Janeway/Paris and others):

When the daze clears and Tom looks up to discover that his hovercar is parked in front of an address he’s never visited but has nonetheless memorised, maybe he should feel a little bit surprised.



He doesn’t. No matter how far he tries to go or how long he stays away from her, turning up at Kathryn Janeway’s door is inevitable.

Why do I like it? Well, I have an everlasting appreciation for Janeway/Paris, for one thing. For another, if you read the rest of the story and understand what Tom has just learned, you’ll want to know what happens next. I hope. I sure want to know.

5. The fic that was best received, and your favourite comment(s) on it:

That would be Desperate Measures again. It’s my longest fic by far and I was absolutely bowled over by the response to it, but one of my favourite comments on it is this one:

It actually looks like Janeway is saying gimme and it cracks me up.

Honestly though… the depth and kindness of comments on that fic in particular, the time and thought and effort that people have put into their reviews … it made up for every moment I wanted to chuck it in and never look at that fic again, or any other.

6. The fic you wish had gotten more love:

Honestly, I was surprised there was so little response to my @voyagermirrormarch​ fic trilogy, Heaven in the Shape of Hell. I really thought they’d be crowd pleasers, but it shows what I know, lol. I haven’t even finished the third one because the lack of interest made me wonder if they were just really shite, but I’m not so butthurt about it anymore and I will come back to it someday.

7. How many fandoms you wrote for in 2019, and which inspired you most:

Does Star Trek in all its incarnations count as one fandom? If so, I wrote for two (Trek and Marvel). If all the different versions of Trek count separately, I wrote for seven (MCU, AOS (that’s Trek Alternate Original Series, not Agents of SHIELD), Disco, Mirror, Enterprise, DS9 and Voyager).

Anyway, I guess I’ll never stop being inspired by Voyager, so even if Disco season 3 and the Picard show do nothing for me, I’ll always have that.

8. Your favourite pairing(s) to write for:

I mean, Janeway x Chakotay, for sure. But I’m deeply, deeply invested in Janeway x Paris at the moment.

9. What you’re writing now/next:

I’m struggling through the second part of what was supposed to be my contribution to @25daysofvoyager​. I’m actually going to post the first part once I’m done with this quiz in the hope it’ll kick my ass into gear. I’m also on semi-hiatus from Kinetic Friction, but I’ll be going back to it as soon as I’m done with my 25 Days fic. At some point after Kinetic there’ll be the sequel, and then the rest of Inertia. I’m also contemplating something for Threshold Day, possibly throwing something into @voytalentchallenge​ (don’t count on that one), and I have an idea for a pre-Enterprise D, pre-Voyager meeting between Picard and Janeway (with smut, obvs), plus all the other fics I’m definitely going to write …

And of course there’s my meat raffle. Time to pimp that one again. Donate to AO3 and if I draw your name out of the hat of randomness I’ll write you a fic to your specifications (roughly).

10. Writing goals for 2020 (word count? new fandoms/pairings? anything?):

Look, I’d just really like to actually write to some of the prompts I’ve had sitting in my ridiculously complex filing system without getting sidetracked by the newest shiny thing to catch my eye. In terms of fandoms, I hope I’ll write more for Discovery, I’m looking forward to Picard, and I would like to branch out from Trek a bit. More MCU, definitely, and maybe others if I get inspired. The main thing I want out of writing fanfiction at the moment is for it to continue making me happy, though, so I just hope I keep having fun with it.

[armada-of-ships-against-antis]

Gush about some of your favorite ships please

Sorry for the long wait, but I think I might be ready for this now. (and before anybody wonders, of course it is in the middle of the night and I should go to bed now! Cause it’s the best time to gush over your ships!)

Okay lets begin with Spirk - man I was raised being a Trekkie and to be honest I never saw the great appeal of Kirk, cause my fucking younger than 10 year old heart already belonged to that vulcan! And I bailed my eyes out when he died! But after Kirk and the crew did everything to bring him back, I was like: Okay Kirk is a good one, okay! Nobody will ever be able to seperate them, only over my dead body. Back then it was more about the friendship but I’ll be dammned if I didn’t become a Spirk shipper some 10 years later when rewatching it. But why stop there, get Bones into the fun, too! Try to provoke that human side of Spock, trigger some unlogical feelings, try to beat him in 3d chess!

Okay bear with me there are three other Star Trek ships I wanna gush about!  I pretty much watched the series in the order they came out, so next was TNG that I saw, and although I loved data to every bit and byte of his android being, I was at a loss for a love interest for him. Okay there is always Geordie I guess or Picard, but TNG never hold a deep appeal for me in that field. So on to DS9. When I saw it as a kid, is was boring shit with all that politics and religion. I was around 18 when I rewatched and then in only the fourth episode I became suddenly aware of how motherfucking much Garak flirted with Julian Bashir! And I fell so deeply in love for their weird dynamic of a young and easily impressible human doctor with a mysterious cardassian spy tailor. I ran around showing scenes with them to people who were not shippers and they agreed, that there was tension. And right there was my first time finding background informations about my ship. It was there! I didn’t just interpret too much!  Andrew Robinson, the actor said himself he thought of Elim Garak as an omnisexual character who had a certain interest in Julian. It was absolutely mindblowing to me (also I started to google what omnisexual meant and found about pansexuality, so this is kinda part of finding my own identity, thanks to the closeted representation of a queer alien in sci-fi show from the 90s)

Okay two more and I’m done with Star Trek. But both are from Voyager. Throughout the series I loved the chemistry between Janeway and Chakotay. The slightly forbidden, the pressure, the loneliness of being captain of a ship so far away she probably would never see her husband again. Tragic shit and so perfect set up.  And then came Seven of Nine and manged to shake things up. Suddenly I was a multi shipper, because I couldn’t decide if she or Chakotay should be with Kathryn. The one was loving, supporting and the other was awkward, learning new things about finding humanity again. One was frowned upon because of their ranks and the other because Seven was still more borg than human in how she behaved. So pretty cold, while also confused a ton of times and Janeway ALWAYS had the time and nerves to explain it to her. Just like the doctor (who speaking between us is also a solid shipping option for Seven!)

Damn I tricked you by forgetting myself, that I did develop a shipping crush on Q x Picard. Damn have you ever seen those two interacting. The cockiness in the room, the mocking tone, the resistance. Have you seen those scenes you could perfectly take out of context and already have a “morning after sex” scenario?

Good now let’s take a deep breath and come to the Harry Potter fandom. Or in my case Severus Snape’s playground to be shipped to literally everybody! If it had Snape in it, I would read Everything during that time. Snarry was my most favourite, followed by Snape x Lucius, Remus, Sirius. But I also was looking into x Hermione, Draco, Lily, James, McGonagall, Dumbledore, Ron, Neville (Oh what a small and angsty ship), Bellatrix, Voldemort, Narcissa, Tonks, hell I even read one with Hagrid! (Okay I admit I didn’t enjoy that). Snape was my shipping bitch. Beside that I was of course loving Sirius x Remus.

Okay we move a tiny bit backwards in my life timeline, because before I started to excessively ship my ship bitch with everybody that was breathing, I had a rare ship in Final Fantasy (VII to be more precisely). Hojo x Vincent. You know just your ordinary crazy, mentally instable old (as in probably 60 years old) mad scientist having his way with a young agent from a special task force who canonly had a love interest in his wife… yeah. You know the totally normal stuff you ship every day!  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  

I mean I also had the regular Cloud x Sephiroth, Cid x Vincent, Cloud x Tifa, Tifa x Aeris, Reno x Rude or Rufus and so on, but hell yeah I wrote one of my longest fanfictions with most of my OCs for Hojo and Vincent and someone commented on it. That person became my fucking best friend for now over 13 years who went with me through so much shit but is still my shipping partner in crime till now.

Together we discovered the movie Megamind and watched it more than 10 times in one week! We were so instantly on board with Megamind x Roxanne that it nearly hurt. And when we started an rpg, we shipped the fuck out of them, gave Minion a mermaid to love and that was the most perfect and sweet shit. They are just adorable! He’s such a goofball, sick with love only hold back because of his supervillain image.

I also met my second girlfriend via fanfiction comment. I had written a smut one shot about Tarrant Hightopp, the mad Hatter with ‘his’ Alice. That was also the first one I attempted to translate into English. When we met for the first time, we also watched Alice in Wonderland around 10 times together and we were in love with the lovely dynamic. We were frustrated when we found out, there was even a kiss in the script that never made it to the fucking screen! It was outrageous! I started to learn how to write a scottish accent and strew in some scottish words in our rpg to make it more authentic.

(And after that I managed to pull her into the pit of the Harry Potter fandom, hell I even pulled her into the pit of shipping mlm which she didn’t like until Snupin. But our main ship was suddenly Snape with her OC and we wrote a lot. Like between 2-8k word for one single post in our rpg! In the end we had enough to fill two books. We did even cosplay as them.)

Let’s get back to the Final Fantasy fandom a bit and let me gush over the other ships I had over the years. I’m still a huge Squall x Quistis shipper from part 8 and Laguna x Kiros! I also have an eye on Cifer x Fu-Jin (hah one eye, cause she has a an eyepatch, urgh I know that was a bad joke). And while I started as a big Auron x Tidus shipper, it shifted more to Auron x Rikku. I shipped them when I was about 15 (her age) and I thought I wasn’t allowed to do that, so I made a whole fucking AU where she was older and it developed into a totally original story of my own, which I have never ever written down even one page). With X-2 I satisfied myself with Paine x Rikku, they were such cute opposites of each other, I couldn’t resist! Only some years ago I played FF 15 and damn it was a shipping paradise again for me. Like all of the four protagonists are a match for each other! And then Ardyn appeared and made me weak in the knees. So Ardyn x Noctis but also just because those the truly most favorite characters: Ardyn x Ignis. Not exactly the fluffy happy stuff, I can tell you that. Manipulation, angst, abuse it had it all.

I can’t talk about Final Fantasy and leave Kingdom Hearts out, so yeah I started as a typical Sora x Riku (not Rikku from FF 10) fangirl and with part 2 I also feel for Axel x Roxas. I know, I know but at least with Organisation 13 you had a whole bunch of shippable characters. Just make one or two of them your shipping bitch, in my case Xemnas and Xigbar and ship the shit out those guys with everybody you can think of in the organisation.

And when we are already talking about Kingdom Hearts, I just jump into Disney a bit. Like every girls dream was to find their prince, ect and I was like: yeah Mulan and Shan Yu seem to fit nicely… Frollo is a fucking ass creep, but damn that scene in the cathedral when he sniffs Esmeraldas hair… Jasemine you look good in that red slave outfit for Jafar to be honest and dear Adam, you should have stayed a beast for Belle. Happy ruining your childhood. You’re welcome. :D Not that I shiped those during seeing those movies the first time, but you know I rewatch stuff!

Good okay let’s check the watch… good 1 hour later…. I’m not gonna finish this any time soon…. I’m sorry. I just tried to make a list of ships that seem important to me and I would probably write another hour or two. I just hope this satisfies you for the moment ;)

If you or anybody else wants to hear about more video game, movies or series ships and me writing an essay about that shit… feel free to ask I guess LMAO

Good Night dear people (or maybe not I see 15 messages on my dash)

[pixiedane]

Pixie, I know you're beyond swamped with these things, so whenever, if ever. How about Tal Celes x Kathryn Janeway?

(Thank you for being so very patient for this response.)

Does Tal Celes have a crush on her captain? Of course. Janeway is Janeway, everyone is at least half in love with her. Celes is Celes so it makes her adorably awkward. She is definitely trying to impress Janeway – not so much to raise her own profile as to prove worthy of Janeway’s uninvited attentions. Eventually, the stress of trying so hard to not fail results in her confessing to Janeway exactly how much of a failure she believes she is. She probably doesn’t realize that telling Janeway  “I’m not really a part of Voyager. I just live there.” makes her feel like a failure, too.

That’s what I’d build a relationship off of. Kathryn would be broody about how she let Celes down and made Celes believe she’d let Voyager down – even if the episode went exactly as it does in canon, afterwards, when she’s alone and the adrenaline wears off, Kathryn would drop into her broody mode and worry that she hadn’t done enough. And Celes, already anxious post-adrenaline herself, would notice and take on all the blame herself, too.

Seriously, these two COULD be caught in a self-recrimination loop forever. But that sounds like a terrible story. 

Now, someone could intervene – Tuvok, Chakotay, Neelix, B’Elanna, Tom, Billy…I can imagine a lot of someones doing this actually – but I like the idea of Celes working up the courage to approach Kathryn herself. Her goal is to convince Janeway she’s not responsible for Celes being good at her job or happy on the ship. She stumbles it, ends up apologizing five times, but Kathryn finds that endearing. And she notices the way Celes looks at her, the attraction she’s trying to hide. And suddenly it all becomes something else.

Janeway would not explore a relationship with one of her most junior crew, a misfit problem child with emotional issues at that. She would offer to mentor her more closely, and it could easily and quickly get messy. Kathryn is an outrageous flirt and Celes keeps her feelings at the surface. They would both spend a lot of time forcing their desires away. So many longing looks, flushed cheeks, and awkward moments. 

Someone could intervene here, too. I think these two would need more intervention than a J/C or Celes/Harry because there is a wider difference in power, experience, and age. But I can also see them having a clumsy, sudden, accidental hook up where they completely forget who they are for a few and are then utterly mortified.

I don’t know if they could ever really get over the hang ups to have an ongoing, stable, happy, healthy romance between equals. Which is hardly a deal breaker for me, but does limit the options for exploration – if someone wants to write a fic to change my mind, go for it! But I see them as a hot mess of guilt more than anything.

Send me a ship and I’ll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it and/or write a scenario/give you a series rundown of my headcanons

[lodessa]

@clonethemidwife here you go:

“I don’t care what father’s wishes were Phoebe,” Kathryn sighs as much as her bedeviled corset will allow her to, “I’m not about to be handed off to some savage merely because it’s convenient to others.”

“Come on, Kathryn,” Phoebe sits down next to her on the settee, “It’s sort of romantic, isn’t it?  And the chief’s son is supposed to be dashingly handsome you know.”

“I’m not… Well to be honest I’m not romantic to begin with and even if I was an arranged marriage wouldn’t be my idea of it.  Come on, help me catch the train to San Francisco without the others interfering and you can marry this Chakotay in my place if you are so keen on it.  I do wish you’d come away with me and help me open the apothecary shop I’ve been dreaming about my whole time.”

“Why don’t you at least meet him?” Phoebe tries to re approach the issue. Kathryn knows her sister is an optimist, part of her artistic nature, and that she just doesn’t want to lose her, “Maybe you’ll hit it off.”

“I can’t imagine that,” she scoffs, “Though maybe he would call the betrothal off for me one he realizes that I’m the last thing he wants in a wife.  Surely he’s been promised a perfect domestic lady, someone he can carry back to be a soft submissive ornament and when he discovered I’m a bull headed modern minded woman more interested in scientific study than embroidery-”

She stops abruptly, as she notices suddenly a figure standing in the doorway.  Turning to get a better look, she finds her breath catches in a way that has nothing to do with her restrictive undergarments.  

The man standing there isn’t just good looking, he’s striking beyond measure.  Tall and broad shouldered without being heavy set, his face is a well sculpted as any of the marble statues in the museums she’d visited before they’d moved out west when her father was appointed governor.  

He also has undoubtedly heard some if not all of her conversation with Phoebe and the unflattering and perhaps unjust things she has just said about him.

“I’m sorry to intrude,” he speaks and his voice is warm and soft, “The servant told me I could find the Miss Janeways here. I’m Chakotay, son of Kolopek.”

Phoebe has to elbow her to prompt her into remembering how to speak.

“I’m Kathryn Janeway, and this is my younger sister, Miss Phoebe Janeway. Please forgive whatever you may have overhead-”

“There’s nothing to forgive, Miss.  It is I who should have announced my presence sooner.  However, it is clear we have more to discuss than I anticipated.”

Kathryn finds herself caring a great deal what he is thinking, how he is feeling.  This is not going as she expected, not by a longshot. She’d expected something different, that he’d be brutish or perhaps stony and silent.  She had definitely not anticipated the way his mere presence would make her feel.

“Why don’t I see if I can rustle up a tea tray?” Phoebe smiles brightly, with a knowing smile cast in her sister’s direction, “Give you two a chance to get to know one another a bit.”

“Will you sit?” Kathryn gestures to the armchair besides the settee, sinking back down onto it, “I do hope I haven’t disappointed you too much with my manners or my appearance. I’m sure certain expectations were raised.”

He studies her face closely as he seats himself in the indicated seat.

“More curious than anything else,” he smiles for the first time revealing the most perfect set of dimples she has ever beheld, “I have been eagerly awaiting the day I could finally meet you…and I am not disappointed. You are beautiful.  You are also clearly much more than that.”

“If you were so eager to meet me, why is it that you are just doing so now, when we are supposed to be wed within the fortnight?”

“I’ve been in Philadelphia, studying finance, and my train back only just arrived within the hour.  I’ll admit I was a little overeager in coming here first.” he shocks her by replying, “It appears, however, that there is a great deal that we do not know about one another.”

“That much is clear.”

He is not at all what she expected, eloquent and clearly well educated.  Why had no one told her? Or perhaps she should search within herself to consider why she had not asked, or perhaps indeed had not listened.

“I must begin by assuring you that I have no intention whatsoever of being party to a union that is against your wishes.  I hope you may rest assured of that. If you do not wish to go through with the betrothal consider it cancelled.”

She would think he was merely trying to weasel out of the expectation as well, but something about the way he looks her in the eyes, not lewd but more than politely interested, speaks of something else.

“However, if I might present an alternative to you fleeing under the cover of night or us living amongst my father's’ people.”

He holds out his hand and she extends hers to allow him to clasp it before replying,  “Which is?”

“Well, I had imagined that we would remain here in town, but now that I know of your dreams of going further west and opening an apothecary shop might I suggest that we embark on such a journey together.  My degree has prepared me for the business end of such a venture and my mother taught me much about the medicinal properties of a variety of plants as a child.  I could be a true partner to you in such a venture.”

“And you’d want to give up everything and follow my dreams why?”  she can’t help asking incredulously, though she also finds herself already imagining the future he describes.  

She is still not prepared for him to bring his lips to her hand, those velvety soft lips which feel as divine as they look.  Kathryn feels a giddy sort of anxious energy swirl within her, the warmth spreading quickly over her as he holds her hand in both of his and then speaks.

“I’ve known for a long time that I don’t want the life my father has but I never had such a clear vision and you clearly do.  We both want to escape the futures our fathers planned for us, but I must confess though I have known you less than half an hour’s time, I believe that I could not have found for myself a better match than what they have suggested.”

“Is that so?” she sounds inane, even to her own ears, like one of those airheaded shallow girls who rot their brains with romance novels and gossip.

“You know you are beautiful, Miss Janeway. You must know that, but you are also clearly intelligent, strong willed, brave-”

“If we are to make good on this betrothal, you must call me Kathryn.”

She finds herself interlacing her fingers with his and pulling her hand back towards herself, leading him forward to sit beside her on the settee.

“Is that a yes then, Kathryn?” he asks, looking in her eyes and pressing his lips once more to the back of her hand and then turning it over to gently kiss the inside of her wrist.

“It’s not a no,” she manages to reply, heat beating as wildly as any bird trapped in a cage, feeling how flushed she must be from the roots of her hair down past the neckline of her dress.

It is probably fortuitous that at this moment they hear the sound of footsteps in the hallway, as the maid arrives laden with a heavy tea tray (a proportional overabundance of gingersnaps evidence that Phoebe has already had her way with it as she can’t eat them).  A moment or two more and Kathryn is uncertain whether she would have been able to maintain the last shreds of her maidenly decorum in the face of Chakotay’s magnetism.

The ten days remaining before they are intended to be wed suddenly seems a very long time.

[joyful-voyager]

DVD Commentary

@devoverest wrote:

"Grief," sections 5 ("They hauled me in for a physical today") through 8 ("But it's so hard to accept without proof.")

I've chosen that passage to stay within the stated 500-word limit, but if you want to commentate the whole story I surely would not object. Or, please feel free to pick a different passage from "Grief" if you want to. I just didn't want to pick the ending because spoilers, but it gives me chills every time I read it.

And here is my overwritten response!

Whoa. I need a time machine for this one! We're going back 21 years to the heady days of Voyager's second season, when the fandom was new and the fanfic newer, and Seven of Nine wasn't even a nasty little gleam in Brannon Braga's shifty little eye. Weirdly enough, though, there are about three stories that I can remember the exact circumstances that surrounded their creation. This happens to be one of them, and you'll find out why in a minute.

So. “Grief." This was part of a bigger project that was inspired by Sue Love's story “Period of Mourning." That one story spawned a ton of other fanfic, from straight-up knock offs to gut-wrenching counterpoints (see Michele Masterson's “Contrition“ if you can find it), to a multi-author project in which several people told this same story from a single character's point of view. Sue's style was first person by Tom Paris as a series of personal logs. Over the course of a few days, a bunch of other authors jumped in and “claimed“ a character and got to work in the same style.

Probably because I was young and arrogant and really naïve, I immediately claimed the one character whose point of view I had no business examining: Chakotay's. I was only 26 years old, after all, and I'd never experienced the kind of grief I imagined he would go through. Not even close. But like the idiot that I was, I thought I was good enough to write it anyway.

Sure. Right. At 26 years old, having never been in a long-term relationship, much less having lost a lover to death. Boy, was this a bad move. I knew it right away, too. Whenever I sat down to write, there was so much nothing in my brain it was horrifying. I was in way, way over my head.

Fortunately, at the time I was working in a small, independent bookshop. The weekend that I wrote “Grief,“ I had to work a Friday night shift that kept me in the shop until almost midnight. I am decidedly not a night owl, and the shop was rarely busy on Friday nights. Even worse, I was in charge of the Special Orders desk that night, which was way back in the hinterlands of the shop, between Foreign Language Dictionaries and Psychology. By about 7:00 I was bored and desperate to stay awake. I was rearranging Psychology just for something to do when I realized: “Hey, dumbass, you've got a whole shelf full of books on grieving right here. What kind of ex-librarian/ex-M.F.A. student/bookseller are you anyway? Research." So that's what I did. I grabbed a couple short little books on grief and went back to the desk and started reading. By the time the shop closed, I had a pocketful of handwritten notes on grief and the grieving process. When I got back to my apartment, I opened my notebook and wrote one line: “I am in someone's nightmare." And then I went to bed.

The entire story, virtually every single word of it, was in my head when I woke up. No lie. I think what happened was that all the research I'd done about grief and the grieving process matched itself up in my sleeping brain to things I'd heard family members say over the seven years prior to writing the story. See, when I was 19, a beloved cousin of mine was murdered by a drunk driver. She was 22. My family took it extremely hard. We are a large but close-knit bunch, and over the next months and years I spent a lot of time with that wing of the family – the deceased's parents and in particular her two brothers, who were 19 and 20 at the time. I remember my uncle chain-smoking and saying, “This feels like it's happening to someone else." I remember one of my cousins saying that he couldn't get warm even though it happened in the middle of an extra-sultry Indiana summer. I remember my sisters driving my aunt to the spot where it happened because she wanted to visualize what her daughter had seen at that moment. Most of all, I remember my 20-year-old cousin having to take charge of the situation because his parents were so leveled by grief that they couldn't function. He was the one who identified what was left of his sister's body, made all the phone calls, arranged the Mass and the interment, etc. I asked him how he managed all that. He said, “I didn't have a choice. I put my best suit on and I just did it. I did it for her. But it was the hardest thing I've ever done." And I also remember how, a couple years later, that same cousin started to get into all kinds of trouble for rage-related incidents that he later, with therapy, traced back to not grieving properly for his sister. Somehow, all of these memories just…hooked up in my head with the facts of grief – you know, denial, anger, bargaining, acceptance, etc. – and turned themselves into this story. All I had to do was transcribe it.

As for the techniques and tools part of it: The first person POV was a given, since that's how the project was working. I purposefully kept the early sections short and the language sort of staccato to show how Chakotay was still in the thick of his emotions even though he wasn't dealing with them. He was keeping a very tight rein on himself and even sort of fooling himself, and I wanted to show that in the beginning. The turning point, of course, is his collapse in front of B'Elanna. I imagine the walls really closing in on him at that moment. Weeks have passed, maybe months, and he has done what he thought he had to do: Perform for the crew, do what Kathryn would have done, and not show anyone how her loss was affecting him. When he shouts at B'Elanna, it's a moment of stepping outside of his self-protective shell just long enough to express an honest emotion. And even though it's anger he's expressing, the floodgates are then open. The rest of his suppressed feelings aren't far behind, and they soon come pouring out in his screams, and later his plaintive cries, for Kathryn. The language gets more lyrical then, more self aware and self reflective. He's gone as far down into his grief as he can go and he's slowly coming back to himself. When Kathryn does eventually return, I imagine that he's overjoyed, yes, but also very cognizant of his newfound strength. He can lose someone he loves deeply and still survive it and carry on. (This is part of the reason the reunion scene in The Eternal Tide drives me up a freaking tree, but that's a whole different and equally long-winded post for another time.)

One other technical note: Having the other characters move in and out of his peripheral vision was my way of hopefully making the reader aware that Chakotay's attempts to keep his grief hidden weren't working at all. Tom and B'Elanna and Harry and Kes and Tuvok? They know. They all know, which somehow makes Chakotay's self-delusion more painful. Or at least it was supposed to. Upon rereading the story just now, I'm not sure I fully succeeded at that, but overall I think the story still works.

Thanks for the ask! And sorry the answer is so long. I have nothing to do at work today, it's freezing in my office, and I'm bored out of my mind!

[pixiedane]

Janeway and Kasyik if he actually changed and stayed!

I love Janeway and Kashyk, but a big part of why is that they are doomed. In order for them to work, everything has to be different. That said, I like this thought experiment!

Scenario one, Kashyk is always on the side of good and the reveal doesn’t happen because he is truly attempting to help the refugees. Kashyk and Janeway succeed in their deception on the Devore, go through the wormhole or whatever, Kashyk defects to the Federation and takes up residence on Voyager, where he and Kathryn pursue a romance. This scenario sets up some potentially interesting dynamics between Kashyk and Chakotay as rivals,  Kashyk and Tuvok the telepathic security chief, Kashyk and Neelix since Kashyk’s use on the ship would be similar to Neelix’s in the earlier seasons, and he and Kathryn would have to navigate their relationship around her duty and his angst, etc. But overall it’s not the most creative set up. 

Scenario two, everything that happens in “Counterpoint” happens but Kashyk shows up alone in a shuttle a second time claiming to have ‘actually changed’ now. Janeway does not believe him, he begs her to listen, explains he’s not only disgraced and lost all authority, he’s branded a traitor by his people and an enemy by the refugees. Janeway is unimpressed, tells him he IS an enemy to the refugees and also to Voyager so bye. He says he has nowhere else to go, he’ll be killed. Most of the crew is like, eh, not our problem, but someone – Neelix? I mean, it would be Kes if she were still around (why wasn’t Kes listed among the telepathic crew? Suder was and he died before she left) so I guess Neelix or Tuvok (but he might play the Prime Directive card here), anyway, someone – says not saving him is the same as killing him and we are better than that. Janeway SIGHs (possibly Janeway is the someone and she can’t tell if her Starfleet Principles™ or her attraction is driving it and she is v angsty about it all), brings Kashyk on board and throws him in the brig. 

He stays there at least two weeks while the senior staff argue about what to do with him. At this point they’d have to go back into Devore space to take him back and that would mean risking the ship and their telepaths all over again as well as going n the wrong direction and for what? Eventually they decide to drop him on the next appropriate planet they arrive at and be done with it (Tuvok brings up the Prime Directive here, too, but he is outvoted). Janeway heads to the brig to tell Kashyk what’s what. 

Kashyk obviously hates this plan and tries to change her mind. He pitches the alternative that he (again, like Neelix in the beginning) knows about this region of space and he can help her. He provides a few examples, she starts to waver, and, again, can’t tell why. She doesn’t trust herself so she asks Tuvok to vet his sincerity and/or usefulness to the ship. 

Tuvok and Kashyk have a long, twisty, conversation. Kashyk is culturally opposed to and frightened of Tuvok’s telepathy. But he’s also desperate. Ultimately Tuvok advises he remain on the ship, confined to quarters until he’s completed some kind of rehabilitation, but it’s not right to let him off on a random planet (his reasoning is Kashyk’s survival would be questionable, it’s unfair to the random population, and Janeway would blame herself). 

Thus Kashyk is moved to quarters and starts meeting with Tuvok twice a week for training in sensitivity and Starfleet protocol. He is given access to parts of the database so he can read up on Federation history, philosophy, sociology, and art. He listens to music incessantly. He becomes obsessed with old Earth movies, anything starring Katherine Hepburn. He starts some kind of crafting hobby. Tuvok is his main, basically only, companion, and slowly Kashyk’s starts to question and eventually reject his telepathy bias. He becomes deeply depressed. Agonizes over all the crimes he’s committed. Mourns his society, his convictions. And he’s lonely and scared. 

Janeway meets with him once a month, and anytime something comes up he might be able to comment on. Chakotay tells her to let Tuvok do it, but she insists it has to be her. About six months in they’ve already moved past where he’d be most helpful, and it’s clear to her he’s both depressed and repentant. She starts to visit him more frequently just to talk. Maybe watch one of those movies. They slowly fall back into the tentative friendship they’d shared, and the attraction, though they both suppress it, because it hurts too much. This continues for another six months.

Eventually Tuvok and Janeway petition for Kashyk to be released into the crew. There is push back, but ultimately Starfleet believes in rehabilitation and he gets a conditional release and a position in Security (though he does not receive weapons access unless directly supervised by Tuvok and then only in emergency situations). Janeway and Tuvok make an effort to be seen with him in the mess hall so as to integrate him into the crew. Neelix joins in, then Tom, and slowly the crew start to welcome him into their space. He publicly apologizes to the telepaths, and then to the crew in general. He’s good at his job and by now an expert on Earth and with some time and space he becomes part of Voyager’s crew of misfits and miscreants. 

It takes two years for Kashyk and Kathryn to reunite, but they are rewarded for their patience and hard work with a relationship of equals built on acknowledgement of individual and cultural wrongdoing, redemption and forgiveness, and honesty. Which is a far cry from the deception and desperation their earlier relationship was based on. They are both better for it.

Send me a ship and I’ll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it and/or write a scenario/give you a series rundown of my headcanons

[pixiedane]

Not sure if you've done it before, if so, forgive me. But can you comment on Mark / Kathryn?

Oh, Mark. First the mechanics. Kathryn and Mark are engaged, and have puppy children together, but the only interaction we get is through the viewscreen, and due to the premise of the series, we already knew it was a doomed relationship. Of course I was never invested in them! Mark was only ever just a plot point propped up at various intervals to give Janeway angst and keep her from having a relationship with anyone else (mainly Chakotay for whom the Captain taboo excuse is flimsiest).

Then, Jeri Taylor released Mosaic (which I talked about on the Women At Warp podcast) and we got Mark’s backstory, and it made everything WORSE. If you haven’t read it (spoilers):  Mark and Kathryn grew up together and reconnect every so often. He’s a couple years older than her and he studies philosophy. He had a crush on her since she was about 14 but they only finally get together after her father and her fiancé die in a shuttle crash in which she was also a passenger. Now, it’s possible that Kathryn and Mark interacted all the time, in many mundane circumstances, but what we get in the book is a lifetime of Mark showing up when Kathryn is in distress. She’s upset about tennis and her parents. She’s literally drowning. She broke up with her boyfriend. Her father has disappointed her again. And finally, she is the sole survivor of a shuttle crash that killed the two most important men in her life. At which point they “fall in love”. And then, she gets lost in space and he almost immediately marries someone else. 

He pined for her for like 40 years. He waited for her, and only when it looked like she was dead did he move on. I’m sure this is meant to be romantic. But to me, it’s creepy. They meet as children. He swoops in to save her a bunch of times. He waits for her, waits for her to realize the passionate bad boys she’s attracted to are not what she needs. Positions himself as their opposite – the nice boy next door and her hero – and it finally works. He gets her. And then she leaves and disappears into the night. Once he’s convinced she’s dead, he finds and marries someone else in like a year. Probably someone who needs him. To me, this indicates that from like age 10 he was FIXATED on Kathryn Janeway and only when she was DEAD could he have another relationship. That’s not healthy.

Send me a ship and I’ll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it