#and Ferb and Vanessa probably got together during Ferb's senior year

[woulddieforperrytheplatypus]

An opinion I’ve been sitting on forever: Vanessa should’ve ended up with Monty and not Ferb - it really seemed like “ah yes let’s throw ferb with someone” rather than a good development to me (though I love this series with all my heart)

I love Monty and I think he and Vanessa had the purest relationship ever, but I gotta disagree there. There was always something going on with Vanessa and Ferb. You see it every time they're together — which, admittedly, isn't often, but the fact that it's so consistent makes me think Ferbnessa has been endgame since day one. I started writing this out as like one long paragraph but it got long so have some bullet points because I am a benevolent Ferbnessa shipper who values comprehensable writing

The first time they met is in I Scream You Scream, and Ferb was so awestruck by her that he accidentally took home the blueprints for a death ray instead of an ice cream maker.

Ferb goes out of his way to help Vanessa get the pizzazzium infonionite (is that what it's called idk I'm too lazy to google any of this) in Vannessesary Roughness even though Vanessa tells him she doesn't need help cuz she's a big haymaker in a title fight, she's a big black kitten with a nasty bite, she's an action double feature on a Friday niiight and she kissed him on the cheek to thank him.

Night of the Living Pharmacists isn't very shippy but I've seen it a million times so I have to add that when Candace and Vanessa ran into Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella in the lobby of DEI and they did that "Candace!" "Phineas!" "Candace!" "Isabella!" thing, Vanessa's the only one who acknowledges Ferb which is kinda sad because Candace acknowledges Phineas and Isabella but not her own step brother but we're not gonna get into that right now.

Vanessa was digging his ride from outer space in Chronicles of Meap.

And, of course, the most important one... Ferb and Vanessa are alone at the top of the Eiffel Tower in Summer Belongs to You. He tries to give her flowers but she thinks he left so she goes off with her dad — which is shocking because, you know, a boy, a girl, alone in the City of Love, I would've thought for sure romance was a foregone conclusion! Isabella's head explodes

tl;dr: Montessa is literally the cutest ship in all of existence, but Ferbnessa has been in the cards since season one and it would have been weird if they didn't end up together.

[pimpnamedsilverback-blog]

Damn Dannie (The Prolog) Pt. 1

So there’s this this girl I met at my 3rd high school back in 2015. To keep her ID on the DL, I’ll just refer to her as Dannie. Now, Dannie and I weren’t really the best of friends during my spell at that school. We were cool with each other, we just didn’t have much to talk about back then. At the time, all she was to me was the cute girl with an afro from math class, that laughed at all my jokes.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I was forced to leave my 3rd high school at the end of my first year there. (LMAO, that’s an entire story for another day) This meant I had to leave my closest friends behind and find a new school. After I left, Dannie was one of the few girls from that school I kept in contact with, simply because I dug her energy and thought she was pretty cool. We started texting occasionally then before I knew it, we were texting every day. Turns out we had loads to talk about.

The more we spoke, the more we found out we had in common. The more we had in common, the more we bonded. In December of that same year, we bumped into each other at some party I remember vague details about. What I do remember, is that I spent close to no time with Dannie that day and night. For some reason she had to leave the party super early. And that, ladies and gentlemen is the last time I saw her in 2015.

You know how they say "time flies when you're having fun", what they don’t tell you is that time is constant. 10 seconds has always been 10 seconds, an hour hasn’t ever been 30 minutes, it’s always been an hour. It FEELS like time flies when we have something to give our attention to or distract us. It FEELS like time drags its feet when we’re not doing anything. Well, feelings are unreliable. That’s what this story is about.

The first half of 2016 was a drag. My parents were keeping my phone from me and I was a full time border at my new school (which was on the other side of the country). I lost contact with a lot of my “close” and mutual friends because of this. After a wack 1st term, I finally got to go home for term break and get my phone back. I reached out to some of my friends from my previous school. Got back in contact with all the people I missed, except for Dannie. I immediately met up with a couple of the homies but our social interaction was all foggy now. I didn’t feel like I could be myself around them anymore. They were still the same people though. I just felt like everything was different now, that everyone had changed. Word got around that I was back home and my phone was jumpin'. A couple days after I got my phone back, I got a text draped in heart emojis with the only syllable in my name stetched out. 👇

"Laaaaaaaaaaars 😊💕💕❤❤👅💦"

Off the bat I knew it couldn't be one of my bros. It took me a while but I figured out it was Dannie (my bestie did some research). I kid you not, in that very moment I felt happier than I had felt all year. We got all caught up over the phone and our texting patterns picked up where we left off.

Next thing I knew, we were now 3 quarters into 2016. It had been roughly 11 months since I switched schools and 9 months since I last saw her. We started hanging out more and making plans to see each other every chance we could.

Our plans were always overly ambitious and flopped 9 times out of 10. 8 times out of 10 it was my fault though. We’d plan large get-togethers and not even show up. We were a pair of wild cards, the unpredictability between us kept the friendship dynamics fresh. Dannie was mad extroverted, she always wanted to go out and have a good time partying and turning up. I’m not really into all of that, I outgrew it all in 2016. I’d only slide through because it meant I got to spend time with her. I was low-key about being introverted so she had no idea how much I’d prefer staying home or going to a quiet place just to hang out and talk. That’s when I realized I really fw her. (If ever I leave the comfort of my home to come see you, just know you mean a lot to me.)

She tried her best to compromise whenever she could so it wasn’t completely one sided. I'll take the fall for not being open and missing out on a lot chill sessions. I get drained like, 10 minutes into most social gatherings outside my inner circle anyway.

I don’t remember how it happened, but at some point down the line we became friends with benefits. Matter of fact, I don’t remember us having an official title. I had her saved as her government name (with a heart at the end) on my phone and she probably had me saved as zaddy or something corny like Larshmellow (Yikes). Ion know. We were just going with the flow, which I ironically ended up drowning in. Wish I could’ve caught a break, instead I caught feelings.

For some reason Dannie and I never got down to defining the relationship. This had the both of us messed up because we had skewed expectations from one another. It FELT like I was expecting too much from her, while she was expecting too little from me (or vice versa). I went into the new year of 2017 with high hopes and expectations for us not knowing our ‘situationship’ was about to capsize and sink.

2017 Was our matric (senior graduation) year which meant we didn’t have access to all the free time we had the year before. This meant it was up to us to manufacture and free up as much time to text, call and see each other. We could barely manage to make time for each other when we had access to it, how were we going to make it work when we didn’t? That paired with the long distance from one another (a 4 hour commute) created an emotional and physical barrier between us. Communication wasn’t the issue, the issue was getting rid of the static and maintaining a stable connection from afar. I was adamant to make it work, because I felt like she was worth it.

Despite my best efforts, all we had was our telephonic connection. Which started becoming more and more inconsistent. We were slowly growing distant from one another. It was paralyzing witnessing us grow in the wrong direction, it felt like there wasn't a single thing I could do about it. All I was able to do was watch us become strangers. This was a terrible start to the year. After weeks of inconsistent texting we stopped altogether. In my head, the silence felt more like a pregnant pause instead of what it actually was, an awkward silence. The muteness was infrequently interrupted by a "Hey" or "hi", which barely led to anything. Although it stung on my side, I understood that this show called life had to keep going. So I went about living my life and she went about living hers. We didn't speak for a month or so. It felt like we were done.

During 1st quarter every year, a select few high schools in Eswatini/Swaziland come together to host a competitive sports event among themselves. Something like the teenage Olympics. I think all in all about 1000 teenagers show up every year. Over the years it’s become extremely competitive. Aside from the actual competition, the event has turned into a hub for stuntastic behavior, alcohol + drug abuse and obnoxiously loud music. Picture a sports themed music festival without a stage or artists performing.

I had no plans to go that year. I was actually in a studio right next to the stadium on the day the event was being held, with Young Grixxly (look him up, his music is really good!) and a mutual friend of ours. They wanted to check out who was all over there, I wanted to head home but ended up at the event by the power of peer pressure. We were uber late and couldn’t get in, so we were just awkwardly standing by the gate from the outside looking in. We started seeing familiar faces pass by with a handful of them coming by to greet us and give us play by plays of everything that had been happening since they got there. A bunch of people tried sneaking us in too. It didn’t take much time for me to lose interest in the whole thing. I zoned out and started contemplating my early escape back to the crib, right when I recognized a familiar voice repeatedly calling out my name from the other side of the gate. Y’all wouldn’t believe who it was.

Imma drop some unreleased music on my audiomack if y’all guess this correctly.

Was it…

A) Dannie

B) Vanessa from Phineas and Ferb 

C) Samuel L Jackson

D) Thanos

To be continued.