#and I don't really wanna actually talk to someone about this bc I'll start bawling
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you ever get so depressed that you just stare at a wall for 6 hours
#.bdo#nothing is entertaining#i keep opening tumblr then closing it bc I'm just mindlessly scrolling not paying attention#tried watching a show and got nothing out of it#it's all bc i can't stop thinking about whether or not D will call me today#and the hormones from my new birth control don't help#running out of pain medication doesn't help either#it just sucks bc any time I'm going thru something that's hurting me I feel like I just pressed a reset button on a lot of my progress#and I don't really wanna actually talk to someone about this bc I'll start bawling#on the bright side my mom gave me a hug today after she found me crying#that's not a usual thing she does she usually tells me to suck it up#I just wanna do stuff but I can't get myself to do anything it's hard to even get up and pee#anyway my mom is letting me drink her wine now that it's been 8 hours since I took my anxiety meds (did not help)#that at least got me to stop staring at the fuckin wall
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