#and I'm just so fucking terrified bc I'm not ready to lose him right now

[khaleesiofalicante]

"I suppose i love this life, in spite of my clenched fist.”-Andrea Gibson

Amira is so smart and badass and I'm love her😍😍😍

I am terrified for the magical blackouts :)

Poor Rafe kdhdkdjdk, he wanted to keep it a secret and now everyone but Anjali knows 😂

“I think we’ve been taking warlocks for granted,” LOUDER FOR EVERYONE!!!

No attacks since David went to the Silent City is DEFINITELY not a good sign....

Mundanes are not to be fucked with bc we are scarier than demons, and that's not a compliment....

Kyle and Victoria getting married?!?! Really?? Right in front of my salad??

It was all very confusing. I feel her on a feel level...

Amira and Selena's friendship>>>>>

I NEED to know more about Kamran!! Plis I'm begging!!!

But then she had healed slowly.

She remembered how it wasn’t easy. She remembered how her family had been with her every step of the way.

I say go off girl!!! You've hot this shit and your family has your back😎

Amira is an AMAZING centurion!!! With her and Gigi, shit is about the get real!!!

“You have to find the time to do your own shit or it will never get done otherwise.” This applies to everything actually

Mama had told Gigi that there was nothing and no one more dangerous than a man who refused to admit he was wrong. So, yeah. Screw him.

She is the only valid one😎😎

Amira and Selena, Gigi and Camilla... I'm being blessed with amazing friendships🥺🥺

AHHH LOVEHOLLOW!! MY UNPROBLEMATIC FAVES😍😍 THEY RAE THE CUTEST ISTG-

It's finally coming together!!!!

Some people were born to use magic.

David knew Max was one of them.

He would never ask Max to give it up for him or for anyone else.

I just KNOW this is foreshadowing!!! I feel it!!!

A girl. A girl who wanted to hurt David.

A man. A man who had hurt David badly.

I am ready to commit murder 🔪🙂

But his necklace started to pulse faintly.

No.

No.

No!

“No!” David yelled. “No! Go away! Leave me alone! Please!”

Fuck!! It's also something demonic, this is NOT good at all!!!

I am once again grateful for Magnus Bane's existence!!!

He knows about the dark prince!!! I read some theory about it being Lucifer and now I am fearing for their lives!!! 😭

Magnus can't under any circumstances lose his magic, or I will kill everyone in this room and then myself 🔪

David shook his head. “I felt…I felt I don’t know how to explain it, um-” Free? Unrestrained? Reckless? Brave? I...am still fearing for him, don't get me wrong, I am all here for feral David, but this can go south...

Chopin in its little dog bed. Chopin in its little dog bed. Chopin in its little dog bed. Chopi-

“It wasn’t a ghost or a demon. Someone has been intentionally poisoning you.” Maybe the name starts with M and ends with alloy... Just saying... Although that was an intelligent plan, damnit!

He knew if she came inside his house, she wouldn’t be able to do that. They had tested it after all. I don't understand this and I feel it's so important 😭

Rafael had tried to do something good and had monumentally fucked everything up. DON'T BLAME YOURSELF!! I mean it's so sexy of him to take responsibility of this plan, but still!! I don't want him to suffer 😭

Rafa and Mila🥺🥺🥺

The shadow world needed magic. It would fall apart without it – that much very clear. Warlocks and magic are the backbone of society huh?

Rafael be like: yeah the bride was beautiful, I wonder how beautiful Anjali would look like in a wedding dress😍

Anjali took a deep breath. “I don’t know. But we’ll have to figure something out."

“Then we will,” Rafael promised. “We always do."

She pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “I know."

What is better than a couple of hot, badass people that get shit done??💙💙

All the fucking scene with Marcus!!! Omfg that was INTENSE!!!

He didn’t even deny it. “I have to make people see." EXCUSE ME SIR, WTF????

He knows. He knows everything about us. There is no scarier villain than the one that knows a little too much of the characters...

Don’t fear the ignorant people, Rafe, the man had said. Fear the arrogant ones. Alec speaking FACTS AND WISDOM as usual I see😎

Anjali grabbed Rafael by the arm and pulled him back. His hand immediately went around her waist and pushed her behind him.

Rafael: I will protect you❤️

Anjali: No, you🔪❤️

Anjali shook her head. “We’re not those people, Rafael.” I wouldn't actually mind, morals out of the window if it means protecting them🥰

Rafael chuckled and laced her fingers with his. “I wouldn’t have let it happen.” *crying softly* they are so beautiful I can't😭

He looked at her.

He smiled.

She smiled back.

It seemed enough.

IT IS ENOUGH!!! FORGET THE 8 PAGE ESSAY!!!

On one side HOLY SHIT YESS NICOLAS THORN IS COMING!!!

On another: really???? He was so close😭😭

Your reaction made me realize that LBAF has a lot of 'women support women' and girlboss friendships and I AM FUCKING HERE FOR IT BRO.

Like it wasn't even intentional lmao. I just like it when women >>>

SEE YOU SOON x

[just-lndifference]

I'm convinced this year is just a dream or simulation or something because generally what the fuck is happening.

someone I looked up to for 5 years that I originally named myself after turned out to be an abuser and wrote the most chat gbt ass ""apology"" and only cares that shubble was brave enough to speak out. (SUPPORT VICTIMS)

taylor swift announced her 5th album in 5 years (not including re records) WHILE WINNING A GRAMMY. and then being the amazing woman she is became the first person in history to win aoty 4 times.

twenty one pilots not only announced a new album, but is open with the lore and released a single that is one of the best songs they've ever made. when clancy drops this whole fandom is cooked.

this is the first time I've genuinely been terrified because of an election. if trump wins I genuinely don't think I'll be safe in this country because of project 2025. I'm a bisexual nonbinary person, I will never have a chance to get gender affirming health care and will lose the right to get married. and that's just the stuff that will happen to me! I can't imagine how scared people that are in more affected groups then me feel if I'm this scared. I know he's a horrible option but if your seeing this and old enough to vote in america PLEASE vote for biden. independents just don't have a chance, yes he funds a genocide but trump will too, and hell do much worse things. as a minor I'm literally begging y'all to think of everyone who isn't old enough to vote yet.

erm this is very unserious compared to the last part of my rant but I like lana del rey now!! 😭 obviously not her as a person (free palestine) but her music. and this is a major unseen development I've aggressively trashed lana and her fans since midnights came out bc of snow on the beach (turns out that it's just a really shit song 🙏). idk shout out to the person who made me feel obligated to listen to born to die (album)

also my henry danger hyperfixation from when I was 10 just decided to resurface?? like yes I had it for like 4 years BUT WHY IS IT BACK HELLO??? idk but ray is like super hot now that I'm older and I really want to date his goofy ass 😭😭 I remember not liking him much for some reason but like.. he's just a silly little guy.. babygirl if you will.. just a little rat boy..

I accidentally convinced 2 people to read the forest fic (neither were clikkies and I just met one of them). I don't think anything more needs to be said I made 2 full grown adults cry over a band they've never listened too 😭🙏

on that note joshler is big on twitter again but it's widely accepted?? idk what happened there but a good chunk of the art on my tl is clancy x torchbearer and I honestly don't mind.

jason kelce retired. in my family it's a thing to hate the eagles but holy shit I cried so much. the edits literally fucking destroyed me. I had no idea how much of an amazing person he was until taylor started dating travis and I wish I had more time to be a fan of this wonderful man while he was still on the field. he's so goofy and always made me laugh, I genuinely love the guy now.

the chiefs once again won the superbowl, I was honestly terrified the whole time and cried a few times that was the most stressful game of my life. I'm so fr I tried to get a rep tv announcement date from the disney plus commercial, taylor immediately being shown when the game came back on with a chiefs jacket that magically appeared out of nowhere that had a number that wasn't a player I lost my shit 💀

I could go on for hours, and it's only March. genuinely so much shit has happened and I'm not ready for more.

[thata-e-l]

...

[dreamsclock]

DA: i'm still losing my mind at whatever conversation c!tommy and c!wilbur had in limbo that made him react the way he did to c!dream reviving him and what he was prepared to do to keep that from happening bc i just don't see how that jives with c!tommy forgiving him. forgiving for everything else, sure, but whatever that was?

LIMBO MAN…. THEIR CONVO MESSES ME UP SO BAD… limbo seemed to be . idk, i want to say an eye-opener for c!tommy about c!wilbur, but i think instead it just pushed him further into realising c!wilbur wasn’t good for him and never really was.

what we heard in limbo was c!wilbur saying that he and c!tommy were ‘bad’ for the server, that it was better they were dead because the server would be less messed up with them around. c!wilbur’s “i know what i’m like” was one of the lines that stuck with me from the limbo visit we got to see -> in limbo, c!wilbur seemed so utterly convinced he was causing the server’s misery and was [one of the] sole causes of the server’s conflict, and after he’d been removed, the server could be at peace. of course, he ropes c!tommy into this idea of ‘being bad for the server’, because i feel for a long time, c!tommy was (in c!wilbur’s eyes) his sidekick, his Protégé, his right hand man. if C!WILBUR was bad for the server, C!TOMMY was too.

and just before the prison, c!tommy says he’s going to close off the old chapters of his life by visiting c!dream and move forward away from the “shitty ways of [c!]wilbur and [c!]jschlatt”. that’s always been interesting for me because it acknowledges how fucked up c!wilbur was and it shows c!tommy understanding that, that his brother wasn’t a Good Person and treated him like shit. i think when he got to limbo, and saw again concrete evidence that c!wilbur hadn’t changed for the better, it upset huge emotional trauma for him that he wasn’t quite ready to unpack (especially considering the last he’d heard of c!wilbur was his voice telling him he was proud of him — it would’ve been painful to realise that hadn’t been him healing, and that he wasn’t getting any better).

he sounded defeated in limbo, but that was nothing like the urgent horror and terror in his voice when c!dream claimed he’d bring c!wilbur back. for me, that was c!tommy reacting to the emotional burden of not being able to ‘close chapters’ like he’d wanted to. he’d set off for the prison with the intent of moving on: and now he’d died at c!dream’s hands and was even MORE terrified of him, c!wilbur hadn’t changed and might be coming back, and all his guards were down after being killed and revived. being revived is apparently horrible too, and so it makes sense c!tommy’s emotions are Everywhere, with the physical/mental trauma of being revived, and then of course the emotional trauma at c!dream / c!wilbur’s hands.

c!tommy’s desperation to kill c!dream and keep c!wilbur from ever being revived kind of solidifies this for me. he doesn’t want these two huge ‘antagonists’ of his life to come back into it — he’s supposed to heal now, this is the healing part of his life, he’s not supposed to be hurt again, and he’s desperate to do anything to stop it, including kill. i think at that point he’s lost so much of his life that he doesn’t care what it takes to try and keep it that way — he even manipulates and lies to ghostbur to get him in the prison, that’s how desperate he is, and his whole plan of breaking into the prison is risky / dumb even for HIS standards.

i think in terms of forgiveness, c!tommy doesn’t ‘forgive’ c!wilbur in a healthy way. he immediately goes back to working with/for him as soon as he’s revived, is shouted at by him and forced to go through with things he’s uncomfortable about, and he’s lied to/manipulated by c!wilbur multiple times since his revival. but c!tommy wants to ‘forgive’ him, and would CLAIM he’s forgiven him, because he wants to go back — back to when him and c!wilbur were good friends / brothers and when none of the complicated history was behind them.

in c!tommy’s mind, they’ve moved on from what happened and he can help c!wilbur and c!wilbur still cares for him. he’s desperate to move on in the same way he never really deals with the hurt he has from ANYONE he cares about (c!tubbo, c!techno, etc). this is even more so for c!wilbur because of the enormity of his care imo — he can’t stand to hold a grudge against c!wilbur, so he pushes it down and lets it eat him alive while trying to make things go back to how they were.

if c!wilbur apologised to him, i can’t imagine c!tommy not forgiving him, because in that way, c!tommy cares about c!wilbur more than himself. but i also think it would be c!wilbur that realised being around c!tommy isn’t healthy for him, and so i think this c!crimeboys arc is going to end with a “i’m sorry” “i forgive you” “you shouldn’t, i hurt you, and i’m going to go away until i’m healthy enough to come into your life again”

c!tommy has a LOT of negative emotion involving c!wilbur, but he doesn’t ever really seem to process it: and i don’t think he will until c!wilbur leaves and forces him to.

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Hi Comfy, I loved your last family fic so much. I wonder if you could do something similar but with Vesemir? So. I'm thinking, Vesemir hasn't had a chance to date because hes been too busy bringing up Eskel, Geralt and Lambert. He finally meets his childhood sweetheart, Guxart, and they pick up from where they left off. Only issue is, the witchers aren't too sure about getting a step dad!!!!!

I didn’t forget this babe 😘 however I gotta get up at 3:15 am so we’re gonna hit this one with a headcanon format bc I can crank it out faster.

I HC the boys to be teens (Eskel is 18 and Geralt is probably17- ish and Lambert is 14)

Warnings: mention of the foster system, weed, general teenage shenanigans? 

Ves wants the boys to meet Guxart before they make anything ‘facebook official’ - the boys groan at this. V not cool. Big boomer energy. 

Geralt does the typical ‘middle child bullshit’ and makes plans that he “just can't flake on dad! they need me there or the whole thing will fall apart!” - he’s gonna go snog Jask at the drive-in but don't tell Ves. 

Eskel just sighs and takes a massive bong rip right before Guxart gets there. He knows this is gonna be a shit show. He’s got the ‘oldest kid responsibility’ tho so he’s at least gonna be there. his sense of duty is a lil twisted but he's trying his best

Lambert prepares for WAR

He paces his room fuming, he doe not like new people, nor does he like the idea that his dad gets down. he can't handle it. Geralt and Eskel were the ones to give him The Talk. Thinking about Ves??? having a boyfriend????? oh my god?????

Guxart is old fashioned. He tries to talk sports, which almost works until he reveals he’s a fan of Lambert’s team’s rival. 

He tries doing the whole ‘here I brought candy’ but these boys were from the foster system before Ves adopted them and that just makes them edgy. 

He tries asking about their girlfriends and Lambert just snaps “You’re gay, you shouldn’t assume.” like a dickhead

Eskel is at least amiable, or so Ves thinks. He politely laughs at jokes, nods along to stories, asks interesting questions, until Lambert makes a rude joke and Eskel fucking loses it.

Cat’s out, Responsible Eldest Child TM is baked out of his mind and Ves is furious. 

Guxart goes home a little earlier than planned to “give them family time” - he’s just mildly terrified of the little one. 

Geralt comes home in the middle of them getting yelled at and tries to sneak Jask upstairs and that is its own lecture

In the end, they settle for a second go on neutral turf and Lambert takes a hit beforehand this time, not Eskel. 

Geralt is now ready for battle because of all the exaggerated shit he’d heard from Lambert, but he’s the quiet watching kind so he doesn’t pull anything before he’s sure. 

Guxart mentions he saw a really good musician at an open mic night at the coffee shop - it just so happens to be Jask and Geralt immediately likes him 

“He likes Buttercup’s singing, what asshole could like the sweet things he sings about?” - Lambert smacks him upside the head for this, but mostly because he’s tired of hearing “Buttercup this- Buttercup that” 

Eskel warms up a little talking nerdy shit. 

Lambert is still annoyed but stays civil at least. 

Ves deadass almost cries in the car on the way home because he’s just so relieved that his three little nightmares (whom he loves dearly) didn’t drive someone he thinks he really might love away. 

Lambert kinda feels bad and gives him a hug later, once the other boys had locked themselves away in their room, “Sorry dad. I didn’t think it meant that much to you.” 

Ves squeezes him tight and sighs, “I know. I wouldn’t bring someone home if I thought they weren’t good people.” 

Lambert has that really small voice again from when Ves first brought him in as a foster when he was 8, “I just forget sometimes.”

Cue the tearful father-son bonding moment a-la 90′s family drama

Things go much more smoothly after that

[astroninaaa]

Hot take a talk about technoblade:

Okay look I've been part of this fandom since August(thank god cuz i watched it all live and it woukd be a nightmare to caatch up) I bring this up cuz i want to discuss my problem with technos character. I have watched every single techno livestream that he made on dream smp and believe it or not i used to be a techno sympathiser that is until doomsday. (By techno apologist standards i am qualified to talk about his character hooray..)

Now techno like every character is flawed if he wasn't he would be boring fandom. One of his biggest flaws is being a hypocrite. That is not something you realise until you compare what he says all the time so you need to look a little deeper to realise it and i don't blame people for not seeing it.

This wouldn't be that much of a problem because that is a character flaw among with many others but the problem that his character has faced is that he doesn't develop much.

Now i hear techno apologist jump at me every single time noooo he isn't a stagnant character he has developed a lot. I am not saying that he hasn't developed at all the problem is that he has developed very little especially when you consider everything.

His goals his ideas his perception of the world what he believes him everything that makes his character him hasn't changed much and that is not a good thing from a writing perspective. Now why do i bring this up. Firstly I'm not saying this to say techno is a bad writer far from it he can be very good when he puts his mind to it. The problem with keeping a character in this state is that it's very harmful for said character first and to the story and other characters second. Look even at yourselves i can guarantee that you aren't the exact same person you were like five years ago for example because during that time you made mistakes learned from them and you grew. Just like in real life you also can't stay stagnant in fiction.

Okay so that's the main problem with technos character that he is stagnant as a character. Now this wouldn't be as big of a problem if he didn't have the role that he has.

You see techno both c! and cc! are very good at the game basically. Now why do i bring this up. The reason why i bring this up is bc of where this places techno whuch is at the very top of the chain don't try and seny it. This means that he is one of the most powerful people on the server if you are going to try and go against this point just look at lmanberg guys that's living proof of how powerful and how terrifying he actually is. I know a lot of you are gonna say but every can get stacked or play the game but you guys forget that even if you are stacked you just don't have the skill and cc! Techno of the best people when it comes to that which bleeds into his character. Saying that is like looking at the upper class than looking at the lower class saying just get rich like it doesn't work like that.

Because of his role techno is literally the 1% by rl standards which means he can a lit of things free of consequences bc no one can give him said consequences. The butcher army was ig an attempt at that but they failed miserably let's be real here.

Because he is in the 1% is incredibly skilled at pvp and can do anything bc no one can challenge him this places him on a pedestal and creates a power imbalance a very big one at that.

And that leads to his biggest problem he has practically everything as said by Techno himself and is never challenged, but that's not an interesting character. An audience gets tired for a character that always wins or loses. Because if it happens repeatedly it just takes all the suspense oh he will win immediately. He will go and slaughter them problem solved. That's it every time. Something that techno himself confirmed is then when he has a problem he just stabs it (both of these were said during the egg stream).

And if you are going to bring the things he went through to say he's changed don't cuz as long as he doesn't act on it it means nothing. Like examples Red festival killed tubbo an ally. Traumatic experience right? This is a good moment to develop his character and give us more insight. What happens? Techno tries to dismiss it and shows us his anxiety and gives us insight on his character Great! Character development? Starting to question himself just a bit or any sign of that event having an effect on him? Nope! Why? Cuz he doesn't act on it instead he tries to hide the fact that ever happened and changes to a different topic bc there is no justification there and he knows it. Nov 16th c!technos pov he just got betrayed caused some damage wished death upon his former allies and left. Quite a dramatic scene. He feels betrayed time for some good old character development. Him thinking about himself and his actions. Reflecting on them. Great moment! Problem: literally everything that shows this is done off camera and now suddenly he's retired... Okay you know what fine it's alright he would probably expand upon and did a timeskip to explain the ling time he didn't stream. I see where it's comming from. The butcher army ge gets hunted down bc actions have consequences techno and you can't just run away like that not after doing that. Great point from the butcher army. Go give him some consequences his character needs it. And then he gets executed alright a bit too far but i guess that's how it goes in this server. Techno gets his life back immediately.. well that was a bit pointless but alright a cool scene for the animatic fair. Then he kills quackity.. the butcher army lost.. this.. what? But this was the moment of consequences... and quackity didn't get it back like techno the butcer aemy lost more than techno what? Moving along he teams up with tommy aannnd the 50 withers are up and ready of course you didn't fully retire what was i expecting. And now team up with tommy perfect way to learn about dream and give more insight on lmanberg and how dream is a tyrant and everything techno is supposed to stand against. The green festival tommy chooses tubbo over techno techno feels betrayed understandable.... and then he teams up with dream lmanberg is destroyed and the underdogs are beaten to the ground loose everything they ever worked for and are taught to be scared of the anarchists?!?!?!?!

Okay now hold up a sec I'll have to stop you right there. What. did. you. just. do. Cuz there is a limit to the amount of stuff you can let a character get away with. The line was crossed months ago this is not good at all.

Also what are yoi guys talking about consequences. Lives? All 3 home? Right there pets? The ones that died were the ones he brought expecting to not live he brought them there on purpose so they don't count. He is one of the most wealthy peoole on the server (no one beats ranboo lol) what did he exactly loose? Friendships? Was that all the hardships you guys have?

Lmanberg lost their home their lives their wealth their pets their friend everything they loved and lived for everything they stood for they lost a part of themselves in the end.

Look at the last 2 paragraphs and how imbalanced that is. How are you guys blind to this How?! And why did doomsday happen? Because the butcher army failed. And if anything techno proved them that they should have punished him harder with this.

So what was the lesson of doomsday?

That you shoukd obey the people on top and never go against them or you will loose everything you love.

Great lesson guys this is exactly the lesson the rich class and every single tyrant tried to teach society and this lesson is being told by the anarchist great job....

Do you see the problem now. This is the reason techno needs a consequence bc if he keeps going like this he will become a Mary Sue. And that is a horrible direction for a character that has a lot of potential. That potential is why i liked his character that much in the beginning but now it's almost non existent. Anyway I'll end this now cuz this went on for too long. That's basically my opinion on it feel free to share your thoughts.

okay. okay. i read this like three times bc. because look

i agree in some very specific points, but i disagree in very broad manners.

(this entire......... essay is all /rp and /nm!!!!)

anyways. send me hot takes!!!

i like c!techno. i personally think he's one of the most fun characters to watch because i enjoy the mess, the crazyness, the chaos of it all. watching doomsday through c!tommy's eyes was painful. watching doomsday through c!techno's eyes was just so fucking hilarious and exciting and fun. he's just a fun character to watch. he's just Funny. i am a fan. however

for starters: ctechno is, 100%, out of the park, an stagnant character. he has little to no development throughout the story. we see no changes in how he acts. that's not necessarily a bad thing, but considering the type of character he is, watching him develop (be it to an actually full-fledged villain or towards a redemption arc) would be ideal to keep him a character people can actually support.

i wouldn't say he's a hypocrite. c!techno has a very strict moral code and he follows it with no hesitation, with no doubts. the point is that his moral code is flawed and skewed. that doesn't make him a hypocrite, that makes him someone with bad morals.

calling c!techno "the 1%" is a stretch. for one- c!ranboo has as much resources, if not more, as c!techno does. he has dozens of totems, thousands of emeralds, and probably has one of the higher counts of diamond and netherite on the server. why is that never brought up? because it doesnt matter. c!foolish has so much gold and diamonds and netherite and just everything, really, and it's also never brought up/a reason for people to be afraid of him. the dream smp isn't a capitalist universe, there's no "1%". specially bc there's, like, i don't know, 20 players? that makes c!techno 1/20 OR 3/20 if we count c!ranboo and c!foolish. but that's not the point at all: the point is that ctechno is feared bc he's skilled and has a relevant personality, not bc he has resources. c!wilbur has no shit and he's still terrifying, there's no character willing to oppose him. not because of resources, but because of who he is. when c!techno first fled from l'manburg into "retirement" he had no shit either, it took him a while to be rich again. no one attacked him either way.

why, you ask? bc he fought against c!quackity with a fucking pickaxe and won. that's why. c!techno doesn't need resources to be feared. the power imbalance doesn't come from his resources, it comes from others’s fear. and they have a reason for that fear, bc c!techno hasn't been defeated yet. that has nothing to do with "upper class" and "lower class". because, one, not a capitalist system and class disparity isn't as simple as that, and two, even without his "riches" he still wins, bc he's got the skill. if you take out the skill, him being rich means nothing and he wouldve been easily killed by the butcher army or c!tommy or whoever decided to kill him. a good example is, once again, c!ranboo: if he wasn't friends with everyone and someone decided to actually fight him like was done with c!techno, he would've died. easily. being rich in the smp is relative.

c!techno will be challenged when we have a character strong enough to challenge him in a way that matters. it's important to be smart about it. that's why i'd love to see, out of everyone, c!philza turn against him, but that's a how other discussion (WHICH I'M WILLING TO TALK ABOUT.......... everytime i make these and i add little point i dont elaborate on and then say i'm willing to talk about them and no one ever asks me to <//3 PAIN /nm /lh).

i do think he's a character that just Always Win in narrative ways and that's very frustrating. he does need to get pulled a few notches down. again, that will only happen when we have a character that can step up to him and challenge him in a way that matters (woooo c!philza you want to hold c!techno accountable for his bullshit so bad woooo........)

now, onto c!techno's trauma. he doesn't need to show it. he- he doesn't. that's........ not how trauma works, and that's one of the points that make his trauma so forgettable for the viewers. c!techno is, from inside out, a character that hardly shows his emotions, but that doesn't mean he doesn't display symptons of trauma. he does, they're just a lot more subtle than other characters's. that doesn't mean he doesn't have any or that he isn't affect by it. c!techno is, in a lot of ways, a lot like c!tubbo: both of them don't mention the shit they've gone through and don't react to it and bc of that some of the viewers don't see how important some traumatic events were in their characterisation. that's why you analyse those characters's trauma through behavior, not through easily seen displays of trauma.

i do think it's taken a little too far with c!techno. the way he reacted to c!tommy's death was...... disappointing, to say the least. c!techno is an underwhelming character in many ways. as said before, it's because he's stagnant. that definitely needs to be worked on.

about the syndicate? yeah, no. theyre not teaching others to fear them. others just Do That bc of their history on the server, but they have literally talked about how they want to better their reputation, bc they don't want to be seen as murderers or oppressors in any way. are they flawed? yes, very much. they have no indicators of what is or isn't a government and they show no regard around the importance of a difference between an oppressive and a democratic government.

they had no right to show up at c!tubbo's door and interrogate him, because they can't appoint themselves as government police. for starters, that's not how anarchy works (they should've had everyone's permission for that. they obviously don't), but also it's just... stupid. it makes it seem that they're trying to boss everyone around so that they live like the syndicate wants them to, which goes directly against the syndicate's own ideals. however, c!techno thinks he has that right. he thinks this is what he's supposed to do. he's just following his moral code - his moral code is just deeply, deeply flawed. what he says and what he does contradict each other but not for him, not to his interpretation. to his interpretation, he's following his strict moral code.

what happened at doomsday was horrible and c!techno has to be held accountable for it, yes, but, again, no character knows how to work around c!techno enough to hold him accountable for it. that's not c!techno's fault.

l'manburg just deserved better, honestly, but to be fair c!techno has been taken advantage of time and time again (sometimes purposefully, sometimes not) and he's fucked up in the head, god bless LMAOOOOOOO

i agree that things need to change otherwise he's just gonna keep being a stagnant character who can get away with everything. i do think he has more to him than meets the eye, tho. meh idk that's still just analysis!!! we have no way of knowing the intent behind c!techno's characterisation, at least not for now. i hope for the best tho cc!techno don't let me down <3

[upuptowonderland]

Open letter of pure emotion and feelings that are trapped, and i cant express when in a negative mind frame.

I have never in my life lied about anything that is truly traumatic. Yeah, duh, I've lied before, I'm only human. I wouldny lie about things that are serious horrible events.

But, I recently have run into a non concent issue, and fealt violated. No details needed, but i will speak about my feelings towards this situation bc my feelings are fucking valid, and I haven't felt this bad for a while.

Dear whoever i even have left in my life anymore.

I have lost someone who I absolutely love very much. That I was starting to build a life with. But...they left me for believing that; I "cheated" on them, and intentionally tore them apart fully out of spite and "revenge". WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY NOT THE TRUTH.

To sum up the most difficult and fucked up disagreement we had;

I owned up to my wrongs. Yes, I wasn't the grestest person for communicating and going out of my way to hang out with a guy you werent quite comfortable with. But, he truly was only a friend of mine. A persom who has a big part in my life, and kind of lingers in my life forever.if i like it or not.

I sat there...looking you in your beautiful eyes, and agreed to your statement only to an extent, not cheating but not being the best me.i. couldve. I watched your heart crack, and that's when the flames were thrown. And you were jusy...so so torm and full of rage that i could barley get a sentence in. And due to my panic attack i could barley breath and speak.

I was trying to just tell you that i was forced into doing a sexual act AFTER I DID NOT GIVE CONCENT. But all i was thinking, and could say is im sorry. The thingd you said made me ALMOST believe that being a victim, in a non concent SEXUAL act was cheating. IT'S NOT. kept saying harsh ztuff.it just made my mind questuon mydelf on "was being assulted chesting? Im a piece of zhit. Im the reason vor it. I guess.i shoupdbe been a better person amd not have been ghere, it wouldnt have happened". You made me.feel a hesvy amount of.guily that i didnt deserve to feel.

You didn't know how it reslly happened, the only thing you were set on knowing, is that i "cheated" on you.

I didn't mention the assault until 2 weeks after it happened. My reasoning? I was terrified. But unsure of how to handle the situation. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, and convinced myself he didnt meam to do what he did to me, bc he was under ghe influence. I faked a smile every dsy after that. You onow? It's very difficult to get away from someone that is a friend of your number 1 HOMIES. So hes over every day, and i acted like things were.okay, didnt tell anyone. Reasonsings for not telling snyone also, i truly believed that i would get hurt. And that me telling everyone, would just create moxed emotions amd i beliebed id get acused as a liar, not tsken seriously, and my friendship pushed aside for a scumbag.

I FINALLY TOLD YOU THO! I FINALLY.TOLD YOU THAT I DIDNT CONCNET. I TOLD YOU WHAT HAPPENED. NO! I didnt tell you this to in anyway try and make you comenback into my life. I TOLD YOU because i thought you'd love me.enough to understand the pretty traumatic incident i went through. But no....i was wrong....you say im a whore...and.that its something that I "LEAD" on. Yelled st me for not doing something about it. While feelomg so helpless amd disgusting amd frightened?

Then started to give a notice of like...wow, it happened so horribly and i ghess.i was.being extra without knowing every detail. THAT'S NOTNIT THO! YOU then proceeded to tell me you cant beliebe me not that in lying, but couldnt trust my story fully becsuse im an aparent "manipulato" , and still told me that if were mesnt to be, well see eachother agaim when its time.

Every ounce of my happiness drained from my body. When you had the roommate, kick me out, and have the WHOLE house againdt me. When they truly have no clue what happened to me. But as always, like a woman, i got up and fucking left. Lol, THE AFTERMATH? OF ACCUSING ME OF SOMETHING I WOULD NEVER DO TO THE ONE I LOVE. you ready gor it? I'm homeless again, in the winter. Lets see, i lost ghe fu king man im in love with over something that wasnt my fault. And looked at as a liar and false acuser. Lost the people that i jave grown to adore, and relate to amd feel 100% confident. Becsuse you made me out to be s Cheater. And a liar they coupdnt trust. Lost my happieness i worked.zo hard go recive. My home. And my heart.

I personslly dont think i deserve the harsh consequences and treatment im reciving from the ones i thought cared for me.

Yea, i spoke about it kind of late after, but i would never acuse someone of such a harsh crime, if they didnt reslly do it.

BUT this truly....opened my eyes to...wow, dont get comfortable with people easily, because no matter how.close you are, people are able to change like its nothing.

I'm finally recovering from my sadness. And depression and fright of my.assult. I'm PROUD of myself right now...I got a new job, I have been sober now for more than a week. I see my dsughter so much snd my life is made. I'm still living, and if the people ive grown go love and care for truly decide they're no longer a person in mg life, jtll hurt. And ill be hurt gor s while. But i will have to remind myself that....was it truly a friendship if i get abandon for zomething i had no control over.

My head is fu ked up. I truly didnt want to lose Zachary. And I do want to hope to myself that sometime for him to cool down, and then we'll be eschothers again. I have no friends anymore...ni home.

BUT I'M NOT GIVING UP. whatever happens eith us, will happen how it needs too. I love you eo much...but you never give.up on someone you love...and thisnis your 2md time giving up pn me.

I'll continue to strive for me, kick ass, become the best person i can. And grow to learn to never let someone else destroy you.