#and I'm totally not talking from experience at all mm no sire

[trophywifemac]

I think a lot about how Dennis used to be so much softer, more pliant in his late 20s and 30s, how he used to be more outwardly emotional and less rigid, even though he was just as manipulative and predatory, if not more so... and how much sense it all makes with him having bpd.

repressing your feelings to the point you can't even find them even when searching desperarely, unable to control them when they accumulate to the point of overflow, having your anger boil up to the surface when you can't do anything but have an actual tantrum, feeling hot and desperate and a little scared for how your grip on the situation is slipping until it's gone and you're still there — and he goes through this over and over without help or any non-self-destructive coping mechanisms.

just. yeah.