#and I'm.. really not willing to call any hotlines (esp since idk which ones are good and I absolutely Do Not want cops sent to my place)
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q.... how does one go about informing/reaching out to people about having suicidal thoughts
#wak#negative /#suicide tw#i'm not doing anything/planning to do anything to myself dw#but. I've been having more and more of those Thoughts™ recently#and Ik if I let them fester and stay silent about it I'm going to end up doing something extremely dumb#I have literally no access to any therapist rn and haven't since 2018#but. if I tell my grandmother it's just going to upset her even more#and if I tell my mom she's going to find some way to antagonize me about it/tell me that I'm wrong and abusive for having those thoughts-#-or start some type of fight with my grandmother over it and basically doing everything but showing me empathy and compassion#my siblings are. out of the question lol#there's my friends but.. my friends aren't my therapists and I've lost several friends via whining all the time#and like.... why be selfish and stress them out. as if they don't have their own issues to deal with#and I'm.. really not willing to call any hotlines (esp since idk which ones are good and I absolutely Do Not want cops sent to my place)#so. rn I'm just sitting here with my thumb up my ass I guess#and ngl fsr I'm actually kind of embarrassed about having the thoughts but. that does nothing to help me lol#just.. idk
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