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#and a chaotic amount of hockey romance
silviakundera · 3 months
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Ok, upon request my thoughts on Bad Buddy, a good queer romance drama that doesn't get much if any international exposure outside the circle of Thai BL fans. Full spoilers.
after consuming literally dozens of BB videos, the best trailer to the drama imo is actually the talented samyvids' "Just My Type" songvid. Perfectly captures the setup.
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* the hook: 2 boys raised by their feuding families to be rivals end up attending a university that has a childish Jets vs Sharksesque historic rivalry between the science/engineering vs artistic/architecture majors. Despite these 2 barriers, the boys stumble into a secret bromance and then into love. Secondary couple here is f/f, though it's basically just soft girls meet cute then getting together (no conflict).
* Comedic and light-hearted drama that doesn't take itself too seriously, while also swerving into the appropriate amount of angst for its set up.
* This '20-something bros in love' dynamic reminds me vividly of what a lot of SPN J2 RPF and Hockey RPF has tried to capture. The 2 leads feel like your prototypical good natured university bros and falling in love never changes that. Friends AND Lovers is a challenging dynamic to capture imo but Bad Buddy succeeds
* It helps the Bros In Love vibes that the actors look less primped & polished than many other asian BL productions. They seem like guys you could have actually had in your classes in uni.
* If you welcome the drama's tone and just vibe with it, I think it successfully executes 4 popular romance tropes:
- rivals to friends to lovers
- forbidden (hidden) love
- fall first vs fall harder
- golden retriever bounding around paw cleaning cat
* If you are going to sell me on a modern day romeo & juliet esque queer rom-com, without the bloodshed, then you BETTER put your money where you mouth is and make their love actually forbidden.
* Thankfully, Bad Buddy understood the assignment. It's not just a misunderstanding. Their parents truly do have a feud and they truly are forbidden to even be friends, forget a romantic relationship. 2 kids obligated to be enemies since birth, bound by this twisted shared experience that no one else understands.
* Pran falling first, with enough time to comprehend how cruelly impossible they are. Pat falling late, fast, and hard - too impulsive to consider the consequences and wearing his heart on his sleeve.
* Both characters won me over quickly:  cautious & restrained Pran who likes order, chaotic Pat who craves his attention
* Love that the dramatic tension & hiding in all the early episodes isn't revealed to be pointless. If there was no consequence, then it removes the poignancy of its classic rooftop kiss scene. Prans' fears must be justified in order for the angst to stand up in a rewatch. Pran's friends DO reject him at first. Their parents DO refuse to accept the relationship, including his mom considering this a personal betrayal.
* Prans' fears are painfully rational and everything he is scared of does have to be confronted. But that also gives romantic weight to his decision to give in to the feelings and accept the consequences.
* In the way that scifi authors will try to explore sociopolitical topics through allusions & metaphor, and that Hunger Games author keeps writing dystopian YA whenever she gets heated about politics, Bad Buddy does a good job imo of using the feuding families setup to address the reality of existing in a homophobic and transphobic society while being queer -- demonstrating it in a way that straight cis people can relate to. And approaching from this angle allows the production to tell that story with a certain emotional distance for queer viewers who have experienced such struggles.
* The bittersweet ending sells me completely on this drama. Closeted but not. Open but not entirely. Accepting that you can't change the world and make all your family & friends & coworkers accept your truth... but refusing to abandon them OR your truth. It's a decision so many queer people have made over the years, in different countries and decades. And it's tinged with hope.
* Let's acknowledge that indeed there is tons of product placement in this series. Sometimes to hilarious ends. But frankly, without this sponsorship the series would not exist. So I'm very grateful to suffer through the marketing that helped fund it.
* Available streaming in multiple places, including YouTube.
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sitp-recs · 9 months
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HP Rec Fest, Day 27
Omg day 27 already?! I can’t believe this fest is almost done :( today’s prompt for @hprecfest is fun but also challenging for those (like me) who read way more canon-based fic than AUs. But I do love a good challenge so I decided to go full non-magical AU instead of picking a “Draco in the Muggle World” AU. And since I’ve been sick in bed with a lot of time in my hands I thought why not rec 2 Drarry fics + 1 rare pair. As you’ll see I love rivals to lovers a normal amount so that naturally makes Sports AU my absolute obsession jam. I’m so happy to include in one single post an old fave, a recent fave and my favourite rare pair. Run don’t walk!
Day 27) a Muggle-AU fic:
Drarry
🏒 Mad Blood Stirring by provocative_envy (E, 3k)
It's not like they've been angrily hooking up on the sly since meeting at a Juniors skills camp in fucking Manitoba four years ago, except that's exactly what they've been doing. ALTERNATIVELY: Draco and Harry really need to talk about their feelings.
fucking finally, the perfect excuse to cheekily include my fave sports/non-magical AUs and scream non-stop about them! I couldn’t care less for hockey, and yet I’ve reread this classic more times than I care to admit. this is superb rivals with benefits to lovers (my fave!), super hot and hilariously chaotic as all Drarry things should be. PE nails both characters in a non-magical setting perfectly - their voices are a delight and the constant flirting bickering made me lol every 3 seconds. they are so deliciously crazy for each other I could stay in this verse forever just watching them pine, play & fuck throughout the season - make sure to go check the FlintWood piece here, it’s equally brilliant! def a classic sports AU to reread over and over.
🚣‍♀️ Our Objective Remains Unchanged by @citrusses (E, 46k)
Harry Potter, returning member of the Oxford University Boat Club, has two goals for the spring of 2005: beat Cambridge, and beat Draco Malfoy. Perhaps not in that order.
an instant 2023 fave, this is the rowing AU I did not know I needed but boy, am I happy it found me 🙏🏼 citrus got me shooketh from beginning to end, I am awed by the world building and the whole Oxford way of life especially the classism aspect and the training ethos. everything is so vivid and refreshing and unlike anything I’ve seen in the fandom so far. the fic incorporates many canon elements and balances dialogue, world building and character development flawlessly. being in Harry’s head is an emotional ride, he’s a wonderful and relatable character and I just wanted him to be happy so badly. Draco’s arc is equally moving (I was screaming at his reappearance) and this is peak rivals to lovers!!! I was very invested in the competition and the romance is so so lovely and real. I felt incredibly sad and lost when I finished this fic because I wanted to stay in this universe forever. fun, inventive, sophisticated and surprising in the best ways, go read it now
Rare pair
Shut Up and Kiss Me by @unmistakablyoatmeal (Harry/Teddy, E, 7.7k)
There's a reason Harry walks an extra ten blocks to go to the shops and it has nothing to do with onions.
smitten Harry my beloved!!!! I’m so weak for this ship and this shop AU is the cutest thing you’ll read today, I love swooning Harry daydreaming about Teddy and being an absolute dork around him. it’s so funny (and mildly embarrassing) to watch him pine over this cool, charming, and confident young Teddy who’s not afraid to get what he wants 🌝 the clubbing scene deserves special kudos for its depiction of ageism in queer spaces and how older folks sometimes struggle to fit in. for all their differences I love how Harry and Teddy instantly click, the casual-not-so-casual flirting flows smoothly between them until the UST breaks with deliciously hot smut as per sdk’s usual. a sweet AU to check before the year ends!
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staticscreenwriting · 3 years
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Love like the movies // Bucky Barnes // 6
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SIX - GHOST
Trigger warning: Alcohol, food, mention of sex (nothing graphic and no actual smut)
Masterlist
Summary: This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, Bucky Barnes, finds himself thrown into a world that seems so different from everything he’s ever known. The girl, (Y/N) knows entirely too much about rom-coms and is quite particular about the way she eats her popcorn. Bucky meets (Y/N) a few months after returning to NYC. He knows almost immediately that becoming her friend is inevitable. This is a story of boy meets girl. This is a story about love. (Bucky Barnes x female!Reader // a few spoilers for TFATWS)
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"You held hands?"
"Mmh."
"And then you cuddled."
"We didn't cuddle, I was just kind of - leaning into him. Sort of."
"So you cuddled!"
"Sure. If that's what you wanna call it. We cuddled."
"Then what?" Robin inquires. Smirking at (Y/N) over the rim of her wine glass, like a giddy pre-teen waiting for the kissing scene to come up in a romance movie.
"And nothing. That's it."
"Oh come oooon. You cozied up to each other and then just what - acted like it never happened?"
"Essentially. But that's okay. It's not a big deal. And don't say it like that."
"Like what?" Robin continues to poke and by this point, it's not so much her wanting information than her trying to rile up (Y/N). Though she's very well aware of this, (Y/N) falls for it anyway.
"Cozied up to each other," (Y/N) says and scrunches her nose up in distaste. "Like we had dirty sex or something."
"Do you want to have dirty sex with him? Oh man, imagine what that arm can do."
Holding her hand out to stop her best friend from talking, (Y/N) takes a big gulp of white wine, emptying her glass. This is a conversation that can't be held entirely sober. "First of all, don't say those things about his arm. It's- I don't know. It doesn't sit right with me."
"Sorry yeah that was … not cool" Robin apologizes and by the tone of her voice (Y/N) can tell she means it.
"I'm the first to admit that Bucky is insanely handsome and if things were different, sure. But we're friends and I really enjoy the time spent together and our friendship. I don't wanna do anything to jeopardize it or ruin it by adding unnecessary feelings to it."
"Feelings aren't unnecessary," Robin replies, combing her fingers through her fiery red curls.
"Sometimes they are. The last thing Bucky and I need is broken hearts and ruined friendships."
"What if it doesn't end that way?"
"Relationships never work out well for me, you know that."
Robin places her glass on the countertop. It means whatever talk is gonna follow, it'll be a serious one. There's been very little need for a serious talk between the girls over the time they've been friends but neither of them has ever been afraid to start those conversations and say things as they are. Sometimes that's what friendship is, being blunt even if it's not what your friend wants to hear.
"Look I'm not saying you have to take the relationship to another level. If this is making you happy the way it is, then that's all that matters to me. I just don't want you to give up on something that could be great, because you're scared and because some stupid assholes in the past didn't realize what they had in you."
Where she's only had shit luck with relationships, (Y/N) thinks she's really lucked out in the friend department. Robin is as wonderful as they come. Even if she drives her crazy sometimes.
"They weren't all assholes." (Y/N) chimes up weakly though there's not even enough determination in her voice to convince herself.
"Weren't they? Let's see ...I'm not even gonna talk about Russel. He doesn't count. Who else was there? Pete liked to show you off but he didn't like you. Did he?"
"Not really."
"See? Asshole! Kylie only wanted to be with you so she could be the cool girl who's fucked another girl once and use that as something to brag to the guys about."
"She was figuring herself out."
"She was straight, babe. She was using you and your sexuality as some kind of badge of honor so guys would think she's cool. She only wanted to make out with you at parties and when there were men around to ogle you. I’m the last person to blame anyone for trying to figure out who they are and who they like but that wasn’t the case here. She used you, and what does that make her?"
“ An asshole? “
“ An asshole!”
“ What about Ricky, he wasn’t an asshole! “ (Y/N) chimes in, filling her glass up once more.
“ Okay sure but he was your High School sweetheart and that rarely lasts. I’m not gonna count him. What about Mike —“
“— Okay, you’ve made your point. I have a bad taste in romantic partners, I get it. Doesn’t change anything. Me and Bucky we’re — we’re good as we are. No romance needed.”
“ Just don’t want you to miss out on something great.”
It’s not that the thought has never crossed her mind. In fact, when she’s being really honest to herself, it swirls around her head a lot. When he grants her one of his smiles. The rare ones that make his eyes crinkle. Or when he comes to see her and brings dog treats for Lady, just because he’s that thoughtful. Or when she noticed he put a popcorn and a sun emoji next to her name in his phone. The popcorn, as he said because she liked movies and the sun because she’s always happy and smiling. Or when he held her hand throughout the entire movie. Those are moments when (Y/N) thinks about what it would be like to be more than friends.
“ It’s great as it is now. He’s great.”
“ Then that’s all that matters to me.” Robin smiles. She has one of those smiles that makes you feel at home. Comfortable and soft. Like warm milk with honey a mom makes their child when they can’t sleep.
It’s a while later, when (Y/N) strolls back into the room, another bottle of wine in hand, that a knock sounds on her front door. Her eyes wander to Robin then to the door then back. “I’m not expecting anyone.”
“ Oh, that’s Bucky.” Robin, who’s by now migrated over to (Y/N)’s huge fluffy couch, Lady cuddled onto her lap, says with the most casual of tones (Y/N) has ever heard. As if Bucky and her have been lifelong friends. As if there is nothing strange or peculiar about this situation.
“ How do you know?”
Robin shrugs and goes back to petting Lady’s curly fur. “ He texted you when you were getting the wine. Said he was around and had food. I told him to come join us for movie night. What’s the big deal? “
“ I uh — it’s not I just — you could’ve told me. “
“ That was literally 5 minutes ago babe. I had no time to tell you yet. By the way, this man uses entirely too many emojis.”
A smile pulls on the corners of (Y/N)’s lips. She’s asked him once why he never used any emojis, or smileys as he called them (all of them — even the ones that aren’t faces). He told her he didn’t really understand when to use most of them, like the shrimp or the Hockey stick. (Y/N) told him it’s because they’re fun. Ever since then he uses all kinds of emojis with her. None really relating to his messages. It’s quite endearing if she’s being honest.
“ Are you gonna let him in? “ Robin asks, shaking (Y/N) out of her thoughts.
The smell of Chinese food floods into the apartment as (Y/N) opens her door to Bucky. He looks so effortlessly cool in his leather jacket and boots. With his hair a little longer now, all swoopy and quiffed. Like the bad boy straight from a romance novel. The one with a heart of gold. The one that gets the girl.
(Y/N) is not that girl, the one from the novels, the Hallmark movies. The one that’s quirky but never weird. The one that makes all the boys fall for her. She’s not the main character, at least according to herself. She’s the side character that shows up like twice. The one that helps the main character on their quest to self-discovery or true love. That’s who she is. Not more, not less.
“ I brought food!” Bucky exclaims as he steps inside, waving the bag around before placing it on the kitchen counter, to which Lady jumps up from her position on Robin’s lap.
Lady, (Y/N) has realized a while ago, has somehow fallen head over paws in love with Bucky. Always following him, looking up at him with her big brown puppy eyes. Always looking to be close to him. Maybe, (Y/N) thinks, it’s the treats he always carries around. But maybe it’s Bucky too and his patience and his affection and the way he greets the little dog like she’s the main reason he’s come around.
Moments like this, they come with those little flutters around the heart. People always compare them to butterflies. (Y/N) thinks that’s wrong. Butterflies are gentle, graceful, and soft. This feels like a swarm of bees. Chaotic. Overwhelming. A little bit scary.
“ Man, did you plan on coming here, or did you buy all this for yourself?” Robin asks, eyes wide in surprise at the sheer amount of styrofoam containers Bucky keeps pulling from the bags.
“ I kind of bought it with the intention of sharing, yeah. “
Robin’s eyes meet (Y/N)’s across the room and there's a silent secret there, hidden in her teasing smirk. One shared only with a friend. No words. No sounds. Just the truth and two knowing hearts connecting.
“ Am I intruding? If you guys want me to leave, I can leave. “
While he tries to keep his voice casual, the sad tint doesn’t get lost on (Y/N).
“ Absolutely not, don’t be silly. We’re just drinking wine and watching a movie and you are free to join us in both.”
While he shakes his head at her offer of wine, Bucky helps (Y/N) bring the food over to the couch and plops down in the middle of the couch, Robin to his right and (Y/N) on his left.
“ What are we watching? “ he asks, a dumpling already on the way into his mouth.
“ Well, “ Robin responds filling her glass up once more, “ it was (Y/N)’s turn to chose so —”
“ A rom-com”
“ A rom-com. “
Something about seeing these two interact and joke around inspires a fuzzy feeling to wrap itself around (Y/N)’s heart. Even if they’re making fun of her.
The way Bucky fits in here, as if it’s where he’s always belonged. The way he’s not a stranger imposing but a friend added to the mix. It’s a nice feeling. She hopes he feels it too.
“ Okay, whatever. This isn’t your usual rom-com though, there are ghosts in this one. “
“ Is it ghosts falling in love?” Robin asks and lets her laugh get swallowed by her wine glass.
“ No. Well — uh kinda but not really. They fall in love be — you know what, just start the damn movie! “
There’s an undeniable intimacy in watching your favorite movies with other people. It’s like giving away little pieces of yourself and sharing them with others. No matter how insignificant it may seem to anyone else but you. These are the things that make us who we are. Our passions. For art. For music. For books. For movies. And opening up is always scary. Even if it’s just a teeny tiny bit.
Through the corner of her eye (Y/N) glances at Bucky and Robin, trying to judge their reactions. See if they’re enjoying themselves or not. Bucky displays his ever-present scowl. It’s the default setting. Sometimes she wonders if that has always been the case. If that's just what he looks like or if years of abuse, horror, pain have left their marks on him, on not only his heart but also his face.
Maybe this can be his safe place, she thinks. Maybe she can be. Not someone to fix him, because he’s not broken, just lost. Not to fix but to hold his hand while he heals. Slowly but surely.
For a while, the three sit in comfortable silence. The kind that fills you with this inexplicable calm. Where no words are needed.
And then the beginning chords of unchained melody spill from the tv speakers. It’s a touch there, a kiss here, hands covered in clay. Bodies covered in clay. Gasps and heavy breathing. Hands grasping skin, wandering, loving.
Robin’s presence falls completely to the back of (Y/N)’s mind. Bucky’s however...
“Do you want to have dirty sex with him? “ her friend's words ghost through her head like a particularly annoying jingle for some tv ad. The room feels warm all of a sudden. Not warm — boiling. There’s a heat radiating from her right, from Bucky. So what if he’s attractive. So what if she sometimes lets her mind wander and think about how his hands would feel on her skin or his lips on hers or his — yeah okay you get the point. So what?
Bucky slumps down into the couch a little more with every second of steamy pottery sex that’s fluttering across the tv screen. Is he — nervous? Uncomfortable ? No, she must be imagining it. Projecting, that’s what this is. She’s projecting her own chaotic emotional state onto him. There’s nothing there. (Y/N) has to remind herself. Just secret little thoughts that have to be kept between her and her. As long as no one knows, no one gets hurt. It’s the easy way out. The safe way. The right way.
Right?
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“ Sooo, what did you guys think?” (Y/N) asks, turning her body towards her friends and sitting criss-cross on the couch.
“ Didn’t expect all the murder. “ Bucky replies as he takes a sip from his beer. “ And the — “
“ The messy sex! I know.” a visibly intoxicated Robin cuts in.
“ Not where I was going but okay.”
She doesn’t pay his words any attention, instead of launching herself backwards over the arm of the couch, dramatically fanning herself with her perfectly manicured hand. “ I am not going to lie, oh boy that was some hot stuff. Wouldn’t say no to that.”
“Oh please,” (Y/N) chimes in, wine glass clutched in hand and smile on her face. She can clearly feel the alcohol washing through her system bringing her to the place between sober and drunk where everything feels light and your confidence seems to get a little extra boost. “ What do you have to complain about? You’re getting married in two weeks! I’m sure you get enough action as it is. “
Robin doesn’t answer right away, just throws (Y/N) a giddy, boozed-up smile. Though in her eyes, there’s a loved-up glimmer of someone about to marry the love of their life.
“ Yeah, that’s true.”
“See, so you’re not the one that should be complaining. Us, however…”
Her red curls swing around her like a spark of fire as Robin sits up again, pointing her finger at (Y/N).
“ And whose fault is that? You could be getting some if you didn’t get so lost in your romantic fantasies. And him — “ the red-haired girl exclaims before pointing her finger towards Bucky “ don’t even tell me he ain’t getting some. Look at him! Are you sexually active, Bucky? “
“ You don’t have to answer that. Robin, come on.”
“ No, you don’t have to but you should. I’m trying to prove a point. Help me prove a point, Bucky. “
“ You’re making him uncomfortable. “
“ Am I making him uncomfortable or you? “
“ Ooookay, I think it’s time for you to go to bed. “
“ Nooo, we’re having a conversation. “
“ Would you look at that, my drink is empty. I’m just gonna — I’m gonna get another one. Okay? Okay.”
Bucky doesn’t wait for an answer before getting up and rushing out of the living room and into the kitchen, clearly uncomfortable. Clearly embarrassed.
“ See what you did? You scared him off. “
“ I couldn’t scare that man off if I tried. Trust me. “ Robin murmurs, a loud yawn cutting through her argument. There’s a certain determination in her words though. Some truth hidden in there that (Y/N) can’t quite put her finger on. It’s like Robin knows something she doesn’t. And maybe it’s good this way. Maybe she doesn’t need to know.
“ Alright, whatever that’s supposed to mean, Tipsy. I’ll go see what he’s up to. You go the fuck to sleep.”
“ Whatever mom, “ Robin bickers and cuddles closer into the soft couch anyway. “ Oh, don’t forget to invite him! I like him. We’re friends now. “
“ Go to sleep! “ (Y/N) orders again, earning herself a salute from her best friend who starts snoring no more than 2 seconds later.
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He feels like a 13-year-old. Actually — no. Things were easier at 13. Situations like this one were easier at 13. Being horny was easier at 13.
It was all new to him then, yes, but it was new for everyone at 13. He’s 106 now, a grown man. He should be able to talk or at least think about these things without turning into a full-blown mess. His hand is clammy, his face is probably the same shade of bright red as Robin’s hair. And by god, his thoughts are a jumbled mess, swirling around all over the place.
Truth be told, he hasn’t had a lot of time to actually think about anything even remotely physical. It was never very high on his list of things to figure out and the opportunity hasn’t really presented itself to him either. Not since the 1940s at least.
Have things changed? Surely not, right? Maybe people got a bit more experimental and for sure they talk more openly about it now but the fundamentals must have stayed the same. He sure hopes so at least.
His thoughts get interrupted as (Y/N) steps into the kitchen. Her eyes are slightly glassed over from the wine though she’s nowhere near as drunk as Robin. She seems happy, then again she always does. For a little moment, he feels jealousy wash over him. About being able to get drunk. It’s damn stupid, he’s well aware. But that doesn’t make his feelings less valid. To just drink and let go and forget, that sounds really nice.
But that’s just one of the things the serum has taken from him. By far not the worst aspect of it all but unpleasant either way.
“ Hey uh — you okay? “ she asks leaning against the kitchen island across from him.
“ Sure. Are you? “
“ I uh — might be a little drunk, “ (Y/N) confesses as she lifts her hand and indicates a tiny space with her fingers.
“ Yeah, I think you might be.” Bucky laughs. Actually laughing comes naturally when she’s around and quite honestly, at first, it made him feel guilty. Guilty about the fact that he got to laugh along with a pretty girl while so many people had to die through his hands.
He tries to push those thoughts away. They aren’t doing anyone any good. Not him and not those people either.
“ Hey, I’m sorry she was making you uncomfortable. She gets — well she has no filter when drunk. Or ever really.”
Bucky shakes his head. His finger nervously trails along the grain of the stone countertop. There are conversations he needs to have, sooner or later, if he wants to live his life. Not just coast along but actually live. But it doesn’t mean those come easy. Not for someone who’s been through all he’s been through. Not for someone who’s grown up the way he has, who’s been raised the way he has.
“ Ah, no. Don’t worry. I uh — I just. It’s been a long time since I had talks like this. “
“ Like what? “
“ Between friends, you know. About — stuff. “
“ About sex? “
“ Mmh. “
“ You don’t have to talk about it with us if you don’t want to. It’s fine. “
“ No, but I do want to talk about sex with you. I mean — not you, you. You both. But not in a weird way. I mean — with friends. “
“ Okay. “
“ It’s just that I was raised in different times and the last time I had a real actual friend that I talked to about intimate things was so long ago. Steve and I talked about everything and even then there used to be reservations. One because I don’t think Steve really wanted details and two because Steve wasn’t — he didn’t have the most experience when it came to women so it was a very one-sided conversation. And I’ve never talked about any of this with a girl. It’s all new to me but I don’t want you to think I don’t trust you. “
(Y/N) regards him with a glimmer of amusement and mischief in her eyes as she munches away on some cold leftover spring rolls.
“ You don’t have to justify yourself to me, Buck. I know you trust me, I hope you know I trust you. “
He does. And he doesn’t hate how it sounds when she calls him Buck.
“ So, Robin and Charlie are getting married in two weeks. I was wondering if you’d like to be my plus one. Back when they announced it I was under the impression Russel and I would be a thing by then but uh — clearly that didn’t happen. It’s in upstate New York. We’re all gonna stay at this gorgeous Inn and well there’s a spot open if you want it.”
“ As a plus one? “
No matter how much he wants to deny it to himself, his heart does a little flutter as she says those words. A plus one sounds like something. He’s not sure what but something, surely.
“ Yeah, as a friend, obviously. “
“ Obviously. “
There goes the flutter.
“ Robin is okay with it by the way. She explicitly told me to ask you.”
“ So Robin wants me there, not you. “
“ No! I want you there! I love spending time with you. Also, Robin’s family is crazy. I need you by my side. I need you there. I want you there. “
“The need to be needed is an individual’s sense of significance rooted in the sense of being part of a community or cause beyond themselves. The need to be needed is one of our fundamental desires. We want to feel significant in the eyes of others, even if it is only one other person. “
Bucky has read those words in one of the many magazines stacked on the little side table in the waiting room of Dr. Raynor's office. They didn’t really make much sense to him then. He always thought he’d be fine by himself.
In that moment he realizes that was all a big pile of absolute bullshit.
The feeling of being wanted, of being needed, even if it’s just one person that needs him, that means everything.
“ Okay, I’ll come. “
“ Yeah? “
And there it is again, the smile that reminds him of the sun. The smile that he’s sure could bring a thousand men to their knees, including himself.
“ Cool. I’m — I’m really happy about that. “
“ Mmh. Me too. “
For a moment they just look at each other, words unspoken swirling in the air between them, neither brave enough to let them slip from their tongue.
It’s not until a particularly loud snore coming from the living room pops the bubble and breaks the spell.
Both of them fall into giggles before Bucky speaks up again.
“ It's late I should probably go. “
“ Yeah and I should go to bed. I’ll have a hangover tomorrow for sure.”
Bucky slips into his leather jacket and places a soft kiss goodbye on Lady’s head before turning back to (Y/N).
“ For the record, I’m not getting any. “
“ I uh — okay. Good. Well not good, “ (Y/N) stumbles over her words “ not good for you. Good for me. I mean. Not that I don’t want you to have sex. But I mean, Robin was taking the piss, and if I don’t get laid it makes me feel better to know you aren’t either. Oh god, this sounds horrible. I’m just gonna stop talking now. “
Bucky smiles the brightest smile she’s ever seen him smile, it almost breaks his face in two. And even though she wants the ground to swallow her whole right then, if it puts a smile like that on his face, she’ll gratefully embarrass herself again.
“ Have a good night, (Y/N). “
“ You too, Bucky”
And with a kiss to her head, he leaves the flat, a smile staying on his lips the entire way home.
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“ Why did I have to come again? This is a bachelorette party, I thought men aren’t allowed. “ Bucky grumbles as (Y/N) parks her truck in the parking lot of the convenience store. The pink and blue neon lights reflect on the wet asphalt.
“ It’s a shared party. We’re all friends so it makes sense for the couple to celebrate together. Stop moaning. “ (Y/N) exclaims as her heels create a click-clack sound.
The store is empty as they enter except for the bored-looking teenager leaning against the counter by the cash register.
There’s something about empty stores at night that makes it feel like time stands still. Like for a moment, reality is altered. There’s only you and the outdated music coming from the speakers and the hum of the refrigerators holding the soda cans.
“ I can’t believe Hannah forgot to bake the cake. It’s all she had to do. I did everything else, everything. She had one job. “
Bucky’s learned by now to just let her rant about this topic. It’s all she’s talked about for the last hours since Hannah, public enemy number one that day, has called her to inform her she’s forgotten about the cake. Why there needs to be a cake at this party, Bucky doesn’t know but hey, who is he to question it.
(Y/N) walks straight over to the counter that holds the bakery items only to be met with disappointment.
“ Well great. We can choose between one single cupcake, a box of stale donuts, and a croissant. “
“ What about this one? “ Bucky asks and points towards a bright pink cake decorated with candy roses and white icing.
“ It says Happy Birthday. “
“ Ah, don’t worry we can fix that.”
(Y/N) raises her eyebrows in doubt. “ You sure? “
“ 100%. Trust me. “
She regards him for a moment, uncertainty shining through, before granting him a little smile and a nod. “ Okay then. You get the cake, I’ll be over there for a second. “
Looking through the fridges, (Y/N)’s eyes fall onto a pack of popsicles in the shape of Captain America’s shield.
Ripping open the fridge door she calls out “ Hey Grumpy, would you like thes— “
All she hears is a smack and then Bucky’s voice exclaiming a loud “Fuck!”
And in that moment she doesn’t know what’s more shocking, the fact that she just slammed the door right into his face or hearing him swear.
“ Are you okay? I’m so sorry. “
“ I’ll be fine.”
“ We gotta put ice on it. “
“ No (Y/N) I — “
She’s already on her way to get a pack of frozen peas. And if Bucky is being real honest, his cheek does hurt quite a bit. Super Soldier Serum and all …
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“ I am genuinely so sorry. “
Bucky sits on the bed of (Y/N)’s truck, frozen peas pressed to his face and a chuckle falling from his lips as (Y/N) sends yet another apology his way.
“ It’s okay, (Y/N). I told you, I’m fine. “
He pulls the peas away from his face and places them next to him, before picking up the cake and lifting the plastic lid off of the container.
“ Alright, let’s see if I can fix this. “
“ You have a bruise on your cheek. “
Bucky looks up at her with those gorgeous blue eyes of his, that (Y/N) sometimes finds herself drowning in. Calm and story all at once. Like oceans.
“ Does it make me look rough and handsome? “
“ You’re always handsome. But yes, it gives you a roguish charm. “
“ Good. “
(Y/N) feels a heat rush to her face as Bucky focuses back on the cake.
“ Mmmkay. Let me see. What if we — “ Bucky murmurs, more to himself than to (Y/N). He swipes his finger, sans glove, over the white icing letters and while there’s a good intention there, when he lifts his finger back up the cake looks like a downright mess.
“ Ta-da “ he exclaims and turns the cake towards her.
“ It says Happy day now “
“ Is it not a happy day? “ Bucky asks, eyebrows raised in question.
“ Let me rephrase that. It says ‘Happy messy white stain Day’ “
Bucky pulls his lips into a grimace, eyes wandering from (Y/N) down to the cake and back to her. “ Yeah, we can’t bring that “.
Laughter fills the air as they regard the sad mess of a cake before them. If this was a movie, (Y/N) thinks, this would be their moment. The one where they realize. The one that feels like time stops and all that matters is them.
Something wet and sticky against her cheek pulls her from her daydream.
“ What the hell? “
Bucky only grins at her. There’s the boyish charm again. It’s so insanely endearing to see these little moments flare up and push through the perpetual gloom he seems to carry with him. He doesn't hold the weight of 90 years of fighting on his shoulders right then.
“ Oh you didn’t “
Before Bucky can react she grabs a handful of the cake and smashes it against the uninjured side of his face.
“ Is that how you wanna play it? Okay. Fine. “
Cake flies through the air as their laughter rings through the night. Not a thought wasted on pain, on worries, on heartbreak.
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The rooftop bar (Y/N) booked specifically for this night is covered in fairy lights and glitter decor. There’s a karaoke machine in one corner and an open bar in the other.
A loud cheer sounds from the crowd as Robin steps out into the open, fingers intertwined with those of a petite brunette with big square glasses sitting on her nose.
They get swallowed by a tidal wave of people, pulled from one hug into another, and while his eyes stay with them, Bucky feels a touch against his metal arm. (Y/N) wraps herself around him leans her head against his shoulder and stares lovingly at the couple before them.
“ I’m so glad she’s happy. I love her so much. “
“ She loves you too. “ he says.
And really how could anyone not?
A little while later, when the crowd has allowed them to breathe again, Robin and the brunette wander towards Bucky and (Y/N), matching smiles on their faces.
“ Buck, this is Charlie, Robin’s fiancee. Charlie, this is my friend Bucky. “
“ It’s so nice to meet you,” Charlie exclaims, a strong English accent dripping from her words. “ What in the world happened to your face? Are you okay? “
While Bucky smirks, (Y/N) flinches at those words and shrinks into herself a little.
“ Oh you know, funny story. Someone here was a little too excited about some red white and blue popsicles. “
Robin lets out a loud laugh “ Now that sounds like someone I know very well. “
“ They were shaped like Cap’s shield, okay. I thought it was funny and fitting. “
Charlie’s eyes move between the 3, a look of confusion settling on her features.
“ Why fitting? “
“ Oh babe, let me catch you up,” Robin says and steers Charlie in the direction of the bar.
The night flies by and for the first time in so long, Bucky doesn’t feel out of place. Not for a single moment. Even being surrounded by people he doesn’t know and while listening to music he doesn’t get. It’s nice, feeling like you belong.
Robin and Charlie have just finished their karaoke rendition of Don’t Stop Believing when a familiar voice echoes from the speakers.
“ Hello guys, my name is (Y/N). You may know me, I’m the maid of honor. I am responsible for this party — you’re welcome. Anyway, I guess it’s my turn to sing tonight but I can’t do this one alone. I’m gonna require my friend, Mr. James Buchanan Barnes up on this very stage with me. “
Oh no. Definitely no. Not in a million years. No w—
“ Because this one’s a duett. “
Her eyes meet his across the way, shining with amusement, mischief, affection. Even across the dimly lit roof, her sunshine smile seems to light up the entire night.
“ I’m not doing it, “ Bucky says and shakes his head as Robin slides up to his side.
“ C’moooon. “
“ Nope. I probably don’t even know the song. “
It’s like the universe wants to make a fool of him as in just that moment Bill Medley’s voice sounds through the night.
“ I know you know this song. “ Robin says and nudges his side “ come on don’t make her do this by herself. “
“ I — “ he looks at (Y/N) again, with her sunshine smile and those expressive eyes and the buttercream stain on her shirt. And he doesn’t see fear or pain or regret. All he ever sees when he looks at her is happiness and fun and laughter.
“ Ugh. Okay. Alright. “
Cheers follow him as he steps on stage and (Y/N) hands him the second mic. Though it’s supposed to be a duett, (Y/N) doesn’t really care and sings both parts with unfiltered joy and unapologetic passion. And while it takes a moment for him to warm up to it, Bucky can’t help but let her enthusiasm light a spark in him too and by the time the pre-chorus hits he joins her in singing their hearts out.
“ You're the one thing I can't get enough of. So I'll tell you something. This could be looooooove “
New York comes alive with the promise of a better tomorrow. One where Bucky feels like he belongs. To a place or a group of friends or a person. A tomorrow where he can laugh with a pretty girl, have food fights in a parking lot, and sing some silly song at the top of his lungs.
Maybe the song isn’t all wrong. Maybe he’s having the time of his life. And maybe, just maybe, he owes it to (Y/N).
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