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#and a lot of his more unsavory attitude problems are trauma responses
braveburned · 1 year
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gregory is a good kid but he is not a nice kid thanks for listening
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porcelainseashore · 9 months
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Ghosts from the Past (2)
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Series Masterlist
Pairing: Agent! Leon Kennedy x Dancer! Informant! Fem! Reader
Summary: 7 years after leaving behind everything you’ve known, you’re suddenly thrust into facing a ghost from your past, Leon. Navigating where you stand with him brings up old memories, painful truths and countless questions. At the same time, you have to deal with a bunch of strange occurrences at your dance company. Set after Resident Evil 4 Remake.
Warnings: 18+ Swearing, Recreational Drug Use, Alcohol, Eventual Smut, No (Y/N), Canon-Typical Horror and Violence, Blood, Injury, Torture, Infection, Medical Experiments, Psychological Trauma, Nightmares
Content: Post-Resident Evil 4, Exes to Lovers, Partners to Lovers, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Lack of Communication, Romance, Fluff
Author's Note: This chapter is a lot more dialogue-heavy to set up the scenes for the next ones. It was originally going to be angstier, but my heart wouldn’t let me. Oops. I hope you still like it though.
AO3 Link
Chapter 2: Baptism
Outside the embassy, Leon hailed for a cab to get to the bar. The journey there was in complete awkward silence, except for the occasional question raised by the cab driver, who quizzed you on why you were headed to such an unsavory place. Somehow he could tell that Leon didn’t quite belong and cautioned about certain areas being unsafe for tourists. Leon just snorted in response, while you laughed inwardly at the irony of his cover story, where he was meant to be your American tourist friend embarking on a Eurotrip.
To be honest, it really wasn’t as bad as people made it out to be. Berlin was a smaller city and felt safer than New York. However, you still carried around that Swiss Army knife Leon had won and given to you back in the day wherever you went, just in case. You ran the tip of your finger along its metallic surface in your pocket. The world could be cruel to little girls after all.
As you exited from the cab, you were greeted by a lively, eclectic neighborhood, sprinkled with night markets, kebab and shisha shops, independent art spaces and late night bars. The buildings were noticeably more rundown than Mitte, the district you had traveled from, and the community a lot edgier. With both of you now dressed casually, you had no problem blending into the midnight crowd.
You swung open the doors of an unmarked establishment and found yourselves shrouded in thick wafts of cigarette smoke upon entering. Leon frowned, coughing as he swatted the air in front of him. Even though you were used to smoking being allowed pretty much everywhere in Germany, your eyes still watered as you pressed up against and squeezed past the mass of bodies in the dimly-lit, dingy bar. The smell on your clothes and hair would take days to get rid of later. It was noisy and chaotic, with nearly every inch of the space occupied by chatty, drunk customers, some more boisterous than the others. You were lucky to find a small, rickety table with two precarious-looking stools at the extreme corner of the room.
Setting your coat and day bag down on one of the stools to claim it, you folded your arms, turned to Leon and remarked, “So… an agent, huh?”
He waved his hand dismissively. “Whiskey first. Then, we’ll talk.”
You rolled your eyes at his standoffish reply, wondering what his problem was. After all these years where he had led you to assume he was dead, and with the circumstances both of you had found each other in, this was the kind of attitude he took with you? A prickling feeling of agitation grew in your chest as you pushed past him, storming towards the bar in annoyance.
Upon approaching it, you breathed out a sigh of relief when you saw that you knew the bartender who was on shift tonight. He usually popped a little extra into your drinks whenever he sensed you had a shitty day. Tonight was no exception.
“Zwei doppelte Kurze Whiskey.” (Two double shots of whiskey.) You raised two fingers at him to spell out your order.
He grunted out an acknowledgement as he got to work, filling two empty glasses with the fiery amber liquor, one glass topped up significantly more than the other.
“Macht er dir Probleme?” (Is he giving you any trouble?) He asked, without looking up from pouring the shots. It seemed like he had noticed your little commotion with Leon from just before.
“Aktuell nicht,” (Not for now.) you answered guardedly.
At this point, Leon had caught up to you, watching as the bartender placed the glass with more whiskey on the counter top in front of you and the one with less before Leon. 
Leon huffed at the slight and shook his head. “I’ll take the bottle too.”
The bartender eyed him suspiciously as he plonked the whiskey bottle on the counter loudly, like there was an unspoken competition going on between them.
“Here,” Leon mentioned coolly, sliding a couple of euro bills along the counter to pay for all the drinks. “Keep the change.”
You sighed at the childish display before you, giving the bartender an apologetic look as you took your glass without a word, and settled in at the small table you had informally reserved earlier. The people around you were far more interested in drinking than any conversation you were about to have. Occasionally a fight started, but those responsible were easily cleared out by the staff. 
There should be no issues with privacy here, you thought, as you downed your first round of drinks simultaneously with Leon.
The sharp alcohol burned your throat, warming you from the inside. You noticed Leon wincing as he brought the glass to his cut lip, finishing its contents in one clean gulp and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
Did he get hurt in the field? You wondered, but chose not to question it, instead pouring yourself another shot as Leon did likewise.
Frustrated by the ongoing silence between the two of you and Leon’s seeming reluctance to speak, you decided to break the dead air, stating sarcastically, “Anything else you need before we get started? Room service? A hot bath, perhaps?”
He threw back another shot, twisting his lips into a wry smile. “Hm, don’t tempt me.”
“Leon, what happened? All these years… I thought you had died.” You were getting tired of this game and wanted an honest exchange for once.
“I did,” he replied softly.
“Huh?”
Averting his gaze quickly, he shifted in his seat uncomfortably. “It doesn’t matter.” 
But you wanted answers. You needed to know what had been haunting him too. “It does to me.”
You reached out to him cautiously, but just as your fingers ghosted the back of his hand, he moved it away, his voice turning cold as ice. “Look, I don’t know what you’re expecting, but it’s been a long time-”
His reaction took you by surprise as you interjected defensively, “Yeah, I can count.” 
A long time? If anyone should be able to comprehend that, you were more than qualified.
“I’m not the same guy you used to know back then,” he continued, as if he hadn’t heard you.
“And I’m not the same girl you knew either,” you countered, in a mixture of anger and confusion. He was talking to you like he was blaming you for something. It wasn’t fair and you weren’t going to put up with it anymore. “Stop avoiding the question, Leon.”
“Still as stubborn as hell though,” he muttered.
Your blood boiled at his non-answer. “Is this some kind of joke to you?” You seethed, raising your voice. “I mourned you. The past 7 years. I heard nothing. Your parents heard nothing.” You emphasized each point, taking another shot afterwards to calm your nerves. Your face scrunched up in response to the harsh bite of the liquor. “And now this?”
He paused for a moment, fiddling with the empty glass in his hands, before hesitantly responding, “I got out of Raccoon City. Then, the government asked me to work for them.”
You caught the drift of what he was implying when he stressed the word ‘asked’, like it wasn’t by choice. But you didn’t understand what hold they had on him.
“That’s all you need to know.” Placing his glass back down on the table, he took a swig from the bottle itself this time. The few sentences he gave you had taken a toll on him.
“Why? How did they-”
“The rest is classified,” he snapped through gritted teeth, as a form of warning not to push it any further.
You slumped back in your chair in defeat, realizing that you weren’t much closer to understanding him and what he had gone through.
“Why did you join Silje’s company?” Leon questioned out of the blue, his tone filled with resentment, so much so that you bit your lip in reflex as guilt seeped into your heart.
“After you… die-disappeared, I-I didn’t know what else to do.” You cast your eyes downwards, your voice choking up with emotion as the memories you had suppressed came flooding back, like a gaping wound in your side. 
“I had to leave. Everything just-” you paused, clenching your fists so hard that you could see the imprints of your fingernails against your palms. “-reminded me of you.”
At this, his stony gaze faltered slightly and a look of despondence slowly spread across his face. 
“You could have gone anywhere else, but you just had to choose her, didn’t you?” He uttered somewhat accusingly. “You really shouldn’t get involved in this.”
“A bit too late for that,” you argued. Did he think you couldn’t hold your own?
“You can still walk away,” he offered.
Shaking your head, you peered back at him defiantly. “I’m not leaving you.”
“That’s what you said last time,” he retorted bitterly, his brows etched together in a frown. “Look at how that turned out.”
Your mouth ran dry, and it felt as if you had been given a tight slap across your cheek. 
So this was what it was all about? He still faulted you for what happened in the past? The most troubling thing was that you had nothing to say to that. You truly held yourself accountable for whatever that had gone wrong.
“Is this why you want to get rid of me?” It came out as a bare whisper.
He shrugged impassively, unable to meet your eyes like he was hiding something. “It’s just better this way.”
Your mind was going round in circles as you were put on the spot. However, something inside you kept rebelling against what Leon had to say. You couldn’t abandon him again. Not like this, even though he claimed it was the better route to take. Didn’t he once tell you to trust him to make his own decisions? Then, he should offer you the same courtesy. You weren’t about to throw in the towel and give up now.
So instead of running away like he expected you to, you pushed back. “No.”
Leon narrowed his eyes. “What?”
“I said no,” you repeated again resolutely. “We have a job to do. I’m helping you to infiltrate this base whether you like it or not.”
His lips were drawn into a thin line as he brooded quietly in the corner, but he continued to hear you out.
“Once that’s done, we can go back to our own separate lives if you want,” you stated. “Just like how it was.” 
A fair compromise. Although deep down you hoped it wouldn’t mark the end of your interactions with Leon. Well, you’ll cross that bridge when you come to it.
After a while of considering your suggestion, he agreed warily, “Ok.”
His gaze was impenetrable while both of you drank in silence. At some point, you decided to call it a night, since you had an early start with him tomorrow to go over your next plan of action. It was drizzling when you came out of the bar, the water droplets falling on your face like a baptism of a new chapter. You had made your bed, now you had to lie in it.
As Leon called for another cab to take him back to where he was staying, you left without a word, walking on your own to the nearest U-Bahn station. He watched you until you were just a tiny speck in his vision, lost amongst the sea of people and glowing street lights.
━━━━━━━━━━━
You and Leon were standing in front of the dining table of his service apartment, a mess of papers sprawled across every surface. He rested his curled fingers under his chin, eyeing the diagrams and notes scribbled on the sheets like a hawk, analyzing them for any obvious patterns.
He picked up a report that you had drafted recently. “So Silje told you all of this?”
You yawned and sipped at the instant coffee Leon had offered you when you had arrived. It was a couple of hours earlier than when you were normally up, as you’d have to head over to the theater to train after this meeting. You had pushed away whatever thoughts you had resulting from the conversation with Leon last night to the back of your mind, in favor of professionalism. Afterall, it wasn’t your first rodeo pretending things were fine, and neither was it Leon’s.
“Some of it, yes. Though in her own way of speaking in riddles,” you explained. “The rest I had overheard or tailed her without her knowing.”
“Are you sure you weren’t spotted?” It sounded like a mixture of concern and him questioning your abilities, the latter of which irritated you a little.
“If I was, would I still be standing here?” You stated brusquely.
“Fair enough.”
You pointed at the blueprint map again, tracing the outlines of your markings with your fingers as you explained, “From what I gathered, the site has two main sections beyond the theater space. The upper levels are easily accessible, but shaped like a labyrinth. I haven’t explored everything yet, but if my gut feeling is right, I would say that the entrance leading further down might be all the way over here.” You tapped at the red circle with a question mark drawn on the map.
“The lower levels are only accessible via keycard. Obviously Silje has one, but there must be others too,” you reasoned. 
“That said, I’ve seen her bringing in the same man more than once. Business type, probably in his 60s, speaking German with a Swiss accent.” Then, you proceeded to describe his outward appearance in further detail.
“Silje always passed him off as being part of the company board. I doubt it though,” you shrugged.
Leon hummed in response, and the corners of his mouth turned slightly upward, as if he was trying to hold back a smile. It was the first sign of approval he showed you since you had reconnected.
As he thumbed through the rest of the papers, he cocked his head to the side, tapping his fingers on the table absentmindedly. “One thing I don’t get from this is why she’s confided in you.”
You nipped your lip, swallowing anxiously, as you were afraid of disclosing what you might have committed yourself to. 
“She wanted to offer me a gift,” you whispered.
“A gift?” He tensed up noticeably at the word. “Did you accept?”
“Um… yes?” You replied uneasily, but tried to persuade him that nothing else had happened yet. “She only told me it would come soon.”
The drumming of his fingers on the table stopped abruptly, as he gripped the edge of it, clenching his jaw as he spoke, “Why the fuck would you do something like that?”
“I-I thought it would help,” you stuttered, caught off-guard by the sudden shift in his mood.
“What exactly has Bergmann told you about this case?” He hissed.
“That Silje was suspected of harboring some bioterrorists.”
You flinched as he cursed a second time loudly, before muttering a quick, “Excuse me for a minute.” With that, he darted out of the room into the hallway to make a call.
So here you were, left alone without answers again. The secrecy surrounding the entire mission and Leon’s erratic behavior was starting to grate on you, but there wasn’t much you could do about it.
Past the hallway, out of sight and earshot, Leon had connected with Hunnigan on comms.
“Leon,” she greeted. “Any news?”
“Our old friend, the Plaga,” he stated. “Seems like our suspicions might be right.”
“You have the source to back that up?” She asked out of habit, even though she already knew the answer.
“I went through the documents. I’m not 100%, but it’s close.”
He detailed an abnormality that stood out during the investigations. “A few days ago, some people on site experienced temporary psychotic episodes where their veins turned black, but reverted back to normal after.”
“That’s aligning with whatever intel we’ve already picked up. It could be a new strain of the Plaga,” he concluded.
Hunnigan nodded. “We’ll require a sample for the labs when you’re in the base. Anything you need me to do?”
“Run some files on any surviving Los Iluminados members. Focus on trade routes with Germany,” he requested. “The informant mentioned Silje entertaining a particular ‘business partner’ on a regular basis.”
“On it.” She typed away furiously at a computer keyboard off-screen.
“Another thing,” Leon commented. “Why wasn’t the informant told about the real nature of this situation?” 
“That was under Bergmann’s discretion.” 
He scoffed derisively. “She’s putting her in danger. The informant has no idea what she’s risking here. Silje just offered her the ‘gift’ and you and I know what that means.”
“Leon, you know the rules,” Hunnigan sighed sympathetically. “We don’t really have much say in this jurisdiction.”
“What do you mean? She reports to HQ!”
“Yeah, and they’ve given her free reign,” she explained, without batting an eyelid.
“In-fucking-credible.” He rolled his eyes.
“You need to press on. The informant has the best chance of getting you in,” she reasoned, giving pause and contemplating her next choice of words before speaking. “I would suggest not getting too attached to her.”
“I’m not,” Leon deadpanned, despite the look on Hunnigan’s face, like she didn’t believe him. 
“At the rate this is going, she may not be around long enough to do her job,” he clarified.
“You know we have a cure for that,” she rebutted. “The girl will be fine.”
He pursed his lips, changing the subject. “Hm, just send me the updates later.”
With that, he shut off his comms device and headed back into the living room, only to be accosted by your snide remark, “Let me guess, another convo that’s classified?”
His mouth twisted into a smirk. “Not quite.”
“Whatever Bergmann has been feeding you is bullshit,” he began. “We’ve been suspecting that the theater is being used as a front for developing a new batch of bioweapons they’re about to ship into the US.”
Your eyes widened at the newfound information. The whole time you had assumed that Silje was just providing a safehouse, not a full-on experimentation chamber. But with the recent events that had occurred, you should have considered it earlier.
“So the labs must be underground.” He thumped the pad of his index finger on the sketchings of the lower levels of the site on the map. “And they’re not just hiding people down there.”
Casting over a solemn glance, he revealed, “I’m telling you this, because you need to be careful.”
“And stop making deals you shouldn’t be making,” he warned.
You let the words sink in. “I see,” you nodded slowly. “Thanks, I… appreciate that.”
“The minute you feel something is off, or your veins start to darken, you contact me straight away and get the hell outta there. Understood?”
“Ok, I will,” you promised.
On the one hand, you were grateful that Leon had the courtesy to inform you about what you were getting into, but on the other, you were scared of what was to come. You had heard about the Terragrigia Panic and the B.O.W.s that devastated the floating city a year ago. The gruesome scenes were splashed across the news for weeks. Would the same happen here?
As if he could read your mind, Leon placed a hand on your shoulder to reassure you. “I won’t let them get you.”
“I trust you.” You said it as if it was clear as day.
His eyes bore into yours and his hand made its way towards your cheek, but stopped short in midair, a hair’s breadth away from touching your skin. Then, it fell to the side as he turned away, like he was ashamed of what had just transpired.
You cleared your throat in awkwardness, trying to recall the next point on the meeting agenda. Ah yes, Till.
Till was a fence you got to know from the parties you frequented. He was a friend of a friend of a… you got the idea. At first, you bought your drugs from his minions in the clubs, but then became a regular client of his the moment you started your informant career.
“As requested, I’ve arranged a meeting with Till.” You grabbed your day bag from the seat you had left it on. “He operates out of a nightclub that has a pretty strict door policy. So you’ll have to look the part.”
Leon raised an eyebrow. “Which would be?”
You sighed, unsure of how this would go down. “Um, your usual black get-up will do,” you mentioned tentatively. Unzipping your bag, which unveiled a sneak peek of its contents, you peered back at him. Here goes nothing. “So are you a more of a latex or leather kind of guy?”
What you would have given to permanently capture the look of shock on Leon’s face.
“Are you fucking serious?” He blurted out.
Perhaps you should make the decision for him then. Giving him a once over, you identified a common theme with his casual leather jacket and fingerless gloves. 
“I’m guessing leather,” you discerned, rummaging through your bag for a studded harness and tossing it over to him.
He caught the chunky material in his hands, looking at it with apprehension whilst shaking his head.
Fishing out a translucent, black crop top, you displayed it in front of Leon as you walked over to him. “Maybe over this and a pair of leather boxers.”
He grimaced. “No.”
Well, he sure wasn’t making your job easy. “I’ll be doing most of the ass-kissing at the door,” you argued. “You just have to wear this and keep your mouth shut.”
Please go along with it, you prayed. There was only so much magic you could pull to get him in at the club door.
Examining the outfit you had picked out for him gingerly, he muttered, “Jesus Christ, you’ve gotta be kidding me.”
At least he wasn’t protesting any further.
“I’ll meet you there at 4 in the morning on Sunday,” you reminded him. “You’d better have something substantial to trade with.”
“That’s the least of my concerns right now,” he grumbled, to which you snickered in amusement before departing for the theater.
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alfredoameeya1996 · 4 years
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What To Treat Bruxism
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