#and also make their problems worse (showing up late/accidentally creating problems/etc)

[altscige]

『MADELYN CLINE ❙ CIS FEMALE』 ⟿ looks like SAIGE BEAUMONT is here for HER JUNIOR year as a LINGUISTICS student. SHE is 21 years old & known to be BLITHE, ENERGETIC, EVASIVE & IRRATIONAL. They’re living in NOLAND, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ JAMES. 20. EST. SHE/THEY.

hi sorry this took so long i ws on hiatus bt turns out thts exactly how long i need to churn out these new blogs so BJKSADNKFJG also r i p babe bt i miss saige ... she’s an old muse of mine n she’s rly grand i think pls love her ok thank u pls LIKE this if u’d like to plot

TW CHILD ABUSE, DRUG USE, ALCOHOLISM, ADDICTION, DEATH, HIT & RUN CAR ACCIDENTS, GRIEF, GUILT

aesthetics.

stick n’ pokes at 2am – when your drunk and giggling too much in between purposeful stabs, avoiding the cracks in the sidewalk because they’re bad luck and they’ll break your mother’s back – even if your mother doesn’t love you, because you love her, the familiar riff in an old song – one that’s got you strumming along silently; there is no guitar, only empty air lit by the christmas lights you haven’t taken down. it’s may. swallowing down shots, and by default, swallowing down problems. laughing quick, easily, constantly. skinned knees from skateboarding, despite being rubbish at it. wishes on eyelashes stuck to your cheekbones, glitter sticking, running into the ocean at sunrise; feeling at home. excuses, and the many forms they come in. telling people you love them through hand squeezes and fresh muffins, sideways glances and soft, eager grins.

basic info.

full name: saige alouette beaumont

nickname(s): n/a :/ give her some

b.o.d. - july 7th, cancer

label(s): the hedonist, the icarcian, the reveler, etc.

height: 5′7″

hometown: thibodaux, louisiana

sexuality: bisexual w/ a very slight preference towards masc-presenting folks

pinterest

stats

inspired by: serena van der woodsen (gossip girl), aimee gibbs (sex education), alexis rose (schitt’s creek), elle woods (legally blonde), rapunzel (tangled), clementine (eternal sunshine of a spotless mind), angela montenegro (bones), tinkerbell (peter pan), late 2000 / early 2010s kesha... i don’t know because she’s not actually inspired by anybody i made her when i was like 13 HDSJBKFNGHJLDS

biography.

the fallible daughter of two very infallible people: robert beaumont, US lieutenant general (soon to be US general), and manon lévesque, world renowned fashion designer on levels par with gucci and versace. both cold, calculating, and purposeful.

no matter how much she wants to believe otherwise, saige is sure that she was not created out of love. it was an action with a purpose, intentions to create the perfect child. the hybrid of both military genius and fashion extraordinaire. a proper socialite. a 1% citizen. molded to their will.

born in thibodaux, louisiana (surrounded by her father’s family - a long line of old money southern magnates & moguls with a history of beauty pageant winners in each woman) - it took them no more than six months after her birth for her parents to up and move, thus beginning a cycle of packing and unpacking, flying and driving, state-to-state and country-to-country. the longest saige had ever stayed in one place was two years, until radcliffe. even then - conditioned to never become truly attached to a place, she has the urge to up and run away at any given moment, onto the next adventure.

she was kept on a short leash, home-schooled, and learning skills she had no interest in (from cooking to sewing to ballroom dancing - to fencing and firearm safety and self defense) - more like a pet, a project, than a child. the world moved all around her, but she was bound to what her parents allowed her to see. a bird in a cage of thorns.

it was hard to keep and maintain friends - there one day, gone the next. a ghost you could see, clear as day, but never touch - never fully, at least. even if she tried with all her might. 

would run from bodyguards (their version of nannies - robert beaumont is a paranoid man with too many enemies to count) into festival crowds and climb out of windows in the middle of the night to swim in lakes with the locals she’d met only hours earlier - as soon as she realized that there was something wrong with the way she lived.

even if it resulted in punishment, military exercises in the form of her own personal boot camp (she’d been forced to do chin-ups, once, when she ripped an expensive gown at the tender age of seven. not since, however, after she wound up sobbing on the floor - instead they moved on. delicate teacups stacked across her back as she did push-ups, the more she did the more that slipped & broke)

she absorbed as she could, as much as she could get; an intense, undying love for a world she always craved to see.

this was the start of something dangerous - a phase that never seemed to end, rebellion coursing through her veins. a wild child in the making, unknowing of limits. she landed herself in any crowd she could squeeze into - bad crowds, in particular and more often than not - they introduced her, the sheltered girl, into a world she hadn’t quite known existed until then.

ran away briefly at the age of fifteen with a man three years older than her & nearly ended up in a tabloid magazine because of it - if it hadn’t been for her parents’ money. though guilt from her parents’ disappointment weighed on her, the thrill fueled something much worse.

from there on, she’d been labeled as a ‘problem child’ - from public intoxication to vandalism, it was clear their daughter was unraveling and nothing could possibly contain her.

boarding school had been an attempt to stop it, enrolled her freshmen year in hopes that she’d come out a proper woman. but being located in new york with easy access to the upper east side of manhattan - it’d been futile.

there’d only been a few significant events during her time there - the death of a classmate (one of her closest friends’ boyfriends) and a ski trip that nearly resulted in her own death, skiing while drunk on a closed off course, in memory of him and the traditions they’d had. the first time she fell in love, and months of pining - running in circles, fights and hiccups and confessions in the dramatic manner all high school relationships seem to be like. they’d finally gotten together - officially, no more sneaking around or pretending - when her parents paid a surprise visit. a rare occasion, nerve-wracking. dangerous. to keep a story short - she’d accidentally exposed her own drug use in their presence, the simple act of pills falling from a purse - and that’d been it. she was gone the next day, with no word to anybody and hardly a word since.

they told family she needed a change of pace, and rumors in her old school said that she’d been expelled, that she’d been sent to the french countryside to live with her grandmother.

she’d only gone to washington, that was all. france was too good, and she was too undeserving. instead she was enrolled in public school, only a quarter through her junior year. her parents rarely spoke to her - rarely in town, the only eyes kept on her were security cameras and the occasional check-in by family friends (the new word for bodyguards, apparently)

but as always - when left alone, saige scrambled to find somewhere she fit, somewhere to tuck herself away in the comfort of other people. a small group, but a loyal group - harmless minus a few miscellaneous charges that they said every small town kid had, at some point. they were safe, they were family - as close as she could get. at least, she had thought so. had really believed it.

she hadn’t intended to go to university after graduating high school, not yet eighteen - not for another month or two, at least. she wanted to travel, meet new people and learn new languages (she’d learned four, already, but had always been a glutton. craved to know more, as if she unlocked secrets with every phrase she could speak) and just. exist.

maybe she should’ve. should’ve left as quick as possible, and never turn back.

saige mysteriously disappeared from the public eye for an entire year, the entirety of her 18th year on earth, before promptly showing up at radcliffe university, ready to learn.

it’d been a year of legal cases & lawsuits & avoiding prison with expensive lawyers and a lot of money.

the getaway driver for an armed robbery at a bank, an unknowing accomplice until her supposed friend ran out from the building and jumped in her car, screaming for her to drive, drive, drive. it had only supposed to have been a quick stop before a road trip to the coast. nobody was supposed to get hurt. but scared, and high, saige had obeyed - and by doing so, led a police chase and, of course, a hit & run that eventually led to saige crashing the car midst breakdown.

the sole victim survived, thankfully - and the beaumonts have been paying the medical bills since. her friend - the one who started it all - was charged & sentenced. but saige got off relatively scot-free. just a year of community service, a slap on the wrist (and the growing wallets of all involved in handling her case). it would’ve made national news if her parents hadn’t stepped in - favors called, resulting in only local headlines.

they hadn’t spoken to her since then. three years of radio silence. she’d think they were dead if it hadn’t been the steady flow of money in her bank account. their silence only feels like a threat of what’s to come if she fucks up again.

ever since - she’s avoided causing too much trouble, still very much the party girl she’d like to be, but staying out of headlines and tabloids. partially in fear of her parents finally cutting ties, permanently, and partially in fear that she’ll end up costing someone else their life with her own selfishness.

personality.

she is so ... bubbly. so fucking bubbly. she’s has so much energy in her. goes running every morning and every night and swims almost every afternoon and she’s never tired, even if she hasn’t slept the last night and even if she’s been dancing for five hours in a club in high heels and nothing but vodka in her system. the personification of a coke bottle shaken up, if the coke bottle in question could laugh and smile at you and make you feel, somehow, at home even though you’d only met her in the bathroom queue.

tries her hardest to be the happy fun friend, the cool friend, the one who can hook you up with whatever you need because she sleeps with her drug dealer and gets discounts, but like, it’s totally okay because they’re also friends.

generally comes off as very confident of herself, and fearless, and reckless but like - fun reckless. the kind of reckless you wouldn’t mind to be around because she takes your worries and acknowledges them and reassures you that it’s fine, that it’s grand, even when it may definitely not be.

takes a lot. so much. could ramble for days, hand gestures and all. never stops talking. never.

if she wants to do something, she’ll do it and there’s not very much you can do to stop her. stubborn, but at the same time easy going? very go go go. mischievous. even if she’s trying to do something stupid you kind of just like ... have to let her do it, or otherwise she’ll mope for three hours and pout at you and then you’ll feel questionably guilty, which is admittedly a little manipulative on her end and isn’t the best thing, but i never said she’s the best person ever because she’s most certainly ... not.

a vegetarian because meat makes her physically sick, like, she’s got a weird intolerance to it and it’s not quite an allergy because it’s really just red meats but she’ll get a tummy ache.

her vocabulary consists of a lot of ‘likes’ and ‘ums’ and ‘yknows’, y’know? her statements always sound like questions. 

99% sure she has adhd but she’s never been diagnosed because her parents simply would not allow her to go to therapy so if she does have any neurological disorders, mental illness, and the likes of those - she doesn’t know and doesn’t know where to even begin to find out. her parents? fucking suck.

like i said, she’s currently not on speaking terms with them. more of their decision than hers. she still loves them, a lot - and there’s a part of her that believes that they still love her, that they have to, because she’s not disowned yet. even though they haven’t said more than ten words to her since she was eighteen - as long as they keep sending her money, they still care - right?

owns four cars ... bad idea considering her past, but alas. spending her money is a coping mechanism and she likes to drive because it’s a form of freedom. anyways. all her cars are on campus and she’s probably not allowed to have them all on campus but she does. one’s a sleek sports car, the other is a jacked up pick-up truck that’s decked out in like ... LED lights and shit, the third one is the same exact fucking mustang from the princess diaries because she’s obsessed with the movie & usually gets what she wants. the fourth is a mini cooper.

she’s a photographer (for funsies) and the walls of her room in noland are covered in photographs and art and taped-down plants. her room in general is really cluttered. like, it’s super homey. super cozy. but it’s a mess. clothes everywhere, she’s got a pile of instruments and other miscellaneous hobbies that she wanted to do and then either never did, or did for a few days and got bored of and haven’t touched since. 

i mentioned earlier that she was taught a bunch of skills when growing up - and like, she doesn’t really utilize any of them? knitting, sewing, cookie, three different forms of ballroom dancing - all gone to waste and she’s pretty rusty on most of it, but it’s there. in her mind. it’s kind of neat and i promise she’s not a mary sue it’s just her upbringing HBSJKDFNLG she’s really nuanced i swear. anyways she can also work a gun and a car engine but hates half of the things she knows how to do because she was forced to learn these things.

she plays bass guitar. loves it, loves her guitar. treasured item. she knows violin & piano too but she fucking hates piano & is mostly indifferent towards violin. she can hold a note in other instruments but it’s like. not great. 

got really into languages at a young age due to her constant traveling and started learning them unprompted. her mother is like. literally french. a french citizen. so she grew up learning english & french but from there on she’s gotten fluent in spanish (similar 2 french) and latin (dead languages are fun) and then she’s working on a few others like mandarin and german and scottish gaelic specifically but she mostly just knows a few phrases here and there. like, enough to get her through a city if needed.

like she’s super smart and very talented but she’s also ditzy as hell. big dumbass energy to the point where maybe you don’t realize that she’s actually really good at a lot of things because it’s not like she really flaunts it either?

she’s just very reckless, and very much a party girl. has quite the collection of drugs & uses socially, but also alone and throughout the day. rarely sober.

high functioning alcoholic and at this point she doesn’t really know what she’s like when she’s completely sober? which is really bad but she’s convinced that if she goes sober she’ll just be miserable and horrible because at her very core she believes she’s like. the worst human being alive. like very deep issues of self loathing covered by baileys in her morning coffee and 23 crystal lite packets in her yeti cup that happens to be filled with vodka. 

this has been a budding problem that was developed since she was a young teenager. the ehem. situation that happened when she was eighteen only amplified it.

is essentially wearing a mask of confidence and giddiness and flirtatiousness because she doesn’t want people to think she’s not doing well, because she isn’t. 

loves so much. loves everything, so much. everything, everybody. falls in love like five times a day but nothing really sticks to her either, for the most part. i hate to say it but she does flock to shitty people / general assholes because that’s just ... how she is, that’s what she’s surrounded herself with her entire life. even her high school boyfriend was an asshole - just like, not to her, which made it Okay in her mind. she finds these kind of people like ... super interesting which is really questionable but y’know what? we’re fine. it’s fine. i’m fine.

she sleeps around often, to be frank. she hates being alone and she rarely sleeps in her own dorm unless someone is in there sleeping with her. otherwise she’s at different houses. could be a friend’s bed, could be a stranger’s. has slept with the entire baseball team, probably. she’s also the type of person who’ll try and maintain a positive, good friendship with whoever she sleeps with because she hates the idea of having a regrettable encounter and just. refuses.

this is kind of a problem because she blurs the lines between friendship and Something More too often, and with too many people. wants to be loved but it’s never enough. probably ends up hurting people without realizing it because they think they have something super special but she does this with a lot of people and it’s super :/

does stick and pokes a whole bunch. she can’t draw for shit so they’re not great but she thinks they’re fun and she’s been doing it for a while so like, who cares, right? let her give you one :)

gets sent dress prototypes and like. drafts of designs & articles of clothing from her fashion lines that aren’t out yet and won’t be for a while by her very own mother. saige absolutely gives them all away, for the most part. or it sits in her closet, and stays there. her go-to gift for birthday presents, or christmas gifts, or whenever she feels like it. like, feel free to raid her closet?

ok that’s all. love her.

wanted connections.

a best friend... someone who sticks by her side even though she is a certified Mess.

a ride or die... is it the same as a best friend? maybe. but it’s got a fancy name and i want both so :)

close friends... she’s really friendly and the kind of girl to have been really popular in high school but didn’t care for it and talks to everybody like she’s known them her entire life, so. she’d have a good amount of these!

grumpy friend... to balance her happy friend. she’ll fuck them up in a friendship way. with her cheerfulness.

party pals... they don’t talk much outside of parties but they’re practically glued to the hip when they’re at them. hold your hair back kind of close.

frenemies... or fake friends, toxic friends, people who use her for money or like ... sex, or whatever? anything? people who barely tolerate her because she gives them stuff sometimes.

bad influences... they just encourage her to do more, be worse, never get better.

good influences... like ... YOINK! stop being an idiot! do your homework! idot!

a tutor... because she’s like...smart...but she’s also stupid...super bad at math & science. help her.

hook ups... friends with benefits, a one night stand that is a little? awkward? since then. past & present tenses. :)

exes... she’s noncommittal so they likely wouldn’t have lasted very long but? yolo? she can be a heartbreaker, as marina said, as a treat? whether they dated or were fucking ... either works. but i do love angst :)

one-sided hatred... someone who just fucking ... despises her. but she doesn’t realize because she’s an idiot and thinks they’re just like. joking around! like they’re best buddies!

annoyance... but she’s the annoyance. she’s the thorn in their side. 

ex-best friend... where something happened between them, like, anything, and it ruined their friendship forever. very sad. angst potential, though.

but like. i’ll take anything.

steals your mail... who knows why?

cat escape... he keeps running away and she keeps letting him inside her room even though she’s allergic...

married old couple... the kind of friendship where they always bicker like they’ve been together for fifty years, but it’s purely platonic (or is it? slowburn BAYBEY. DENIAL babyey.)

off and on again... i think that one that’s not good for them because they enable each other & only get like ... angry at each other, and it’s like, messy. but it’s super hard to stop. probably reminds her of high school so that’s why she tries so hard to stick around, but alas. it’s not good. it’s toxic. stop it. 

the drug dealer... the one she sleeps with... even though she can just pay for it because she’s rich but like. it’s funner this way.

blurred status... like, it’s just really confusing of what they are? are they, aren’t they? the relationship status is just ... muddled. she’s a mess and gets involved with too many people without intending to. potential to hurt feelings. :)

please. take her. give me connections.

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 3x10--The One About the End of the World

I did it, I wrote recaps for all of season 3. 

Oooh, this ep starts off with the credits.

This is the season 3 finale, but it’s not written by the Kings. Maybe they were busy with Evil at this point? As I’ve mentioned before, Evil is very good. I am NOT a fan of horror, but Evil works for me for several reasons. If you haven’t seen it, you might be imagining it’s full of jumpscares and gore. It certainly has its fair share of jumpscares and gore, but they’re not the point. The show’s definition of evil isn’t just demons… it’s radicalized misogyny and slavery and racial inequalities. And, as you might expect from a show written by the Kings, evil manifests itself in misuses of technology quite frequently. 

Honestly, I think I laugh more than I cover my eyes while watching. And, to be clear, I laugh because the show is funny. It’s quirky and bizarre, serious enough to be dramatic but light enough to be watchable.

It’s also got a central myth-arc (way more serialized and puzzlebox-y than TGW/TGF/Braindead) that’s as complicated as you want it to be. If you want to look for the hidden puzzle pieces (literal puzzle pieces!) you can. If you want to be an attentive but univested viewer, you’ll be able to follow the arc just fine. The arc itself is pretty simple and the Kings use recurring guest stars to build a web that pays off over the course of the season. So if you’re used to following a TV show with lots of guest stars-- and you all are, since you’re viewers of TGF-- the mytharc isn’t going to demand a lot of effort to follow. 

Speaking of guest stars, you WILL recognize at least one familiar face per episode. And if you pay attention to the credits, you’ll recognize the names behind the scenes, too. I love it when showrunners collaborate with the same people over and over-- it makes me think they’re good to work with and look out for their friends. 

Just finishing up the most recent season of Younger before I jump into writing this and there was a Liza/Charles scene giving me MAJOR Alicia/Peter in Death of a Client vibes, mostly because of her hairdo. Then I realized: both scenes were DEFINITELY filmed in the same place. I love it. 

Confession: I don’t actually remember anything about this ep, except for the very end.

Kurt was working from home! He was prepping for 2020.

Oh we saw Julius leave the firm to become a judge? And here I thought it was a spoiler he was in a robe in the s4 trailer.

There is talk of making Lucca a partner! Yes! There’s also discussion of someone named Rosalyn, who I’m sure is great but also, have you met Lucca Quinn? But in all seriousness, if the writers want me to truly believe there’s another associate who can rival Lucca, they have to show it to me.

I do believe the partner who says Rosalyn would be better for the culture of the firm than Lucca, though. Lucca hasn’t shown herself to be that invested in getting to know her colleagues (aside from the two white girls), and I think (not sure though) Rosalyn is the one we’ve seen speaking up the last several episodes. 

Jay is going to dig into Book Club more, and I cannot wait until this is gone.

Cookies shouldn’t have photorealistic faces on them. 

Did they REALLY hire white guys for the mailroom because that consultant said to?

There is a very angry former client of RBL asking for more money from Julius. Blum put him up to it. Go away, Blum! 

Now there’s a lawsuit to make it seem like RBL is exploiting all the police brutality victims they’re represented. This is part of Blum’s plot.

Diane accidentally answers a call from Marissa, so Marissa gets to hear all the gossip about salaries and partnerships.

Now there’s weird lightning. Not in the clear yet! 

Oh RIGHT, there was that FaceTime defect. I forgot about it. 

Lucca doesn’t want to know what Marissa heard, but she’s happy to hear more once Marissa’s started the conversation. 

Is it possible for a man to say “ladies, we’ll get to you” in a work setting without sounding sexist? I don’t think it is.

Casually sexist judge likes Blum. 

Oh hello Maia. Blum says Maia became “disgusted and quit” after seeing RBL’s methods. Well, that’s a lie. You’d know it was a lie even if we hadn’t seen Maia get fired, because in order for Maia to know the firm’s methods she would have to do work. (OKAY I WILL STOP BUT THIS IS THE LAST EPISODE WHERE I CAN MAKE JOKES AND I’M GONNA MISS MY PUNCHING BAG A LITTLE BIT)

Maia is using her mom’s name and carrying the portfolio Diane gave her, just to throw Diane off.  

Diane confronts her about it and asks if this is retribution. Maia says it’s just “lawyering.”  Maia could have gone to any other firm-- like, even Canning’s firm-- and I would’ve thought she had a point. I would say trying to throw Diane off is mean but no worse than what others have done. But Blum is so hateful and malicious Maia has no ground to stand on. 

Maia says she’s coming after RBL because they’ve done wrong. She sounds like she’s convinced herself-- or maybe she’s gotten that good at lying. (It is telling that so many former clients would be willing to join this suit, though-- Maia isn’t wrong about that)

Show title spoken alert!

I am pretty sure the Diane/Maia scene right there is one I would have ripped Diane to shreds for if it had been her vs Alicia, and Blum wasn’t involved, because Maia’s being very practical (Blum is out to screw you; I am here for the clients) and Diane is on her high horse. Hell, maybe I’d even take Maia’s side if we got Blum out of the picture. But I hate him. And Maia’s on this case because Blum said so. She’s running his firm and working with all his clients; this one just happens to have a way to spin as doing good. 

Kurt has to intro 45 and is drafting a speech. Diane doesn’t know yet, so she thinks his scribbled “the last two years have been amazing/brought me a new optimism” are about her. She finds out the real meaning for the scribbles and leaves the room.

Blum’s here again. I hate him. 

Also RBL may have caught Blum and turned him in to the ACDB but Blum got disbarred all on his own by doing disbarrable shit repeatedly and knowingly. 

Lightning balls. Weird. 

Lucca asks Jay how she’s thought of. I feel like if you have to ask that question you’re probably not thought of as an integral part of the culture. This is a smart thing to show as Lucca’s weak spot. She’s never liked making friends. Lucca also worries she’s “not black enough” for the firm.

“Everyone likes you. Just, a lot of the associates think you never hang out,” Jay says. “So it’s high school? I don’t care about being popular. Who has time to hang out?” Lucca responds. That’s the problem, right there! Maybe this isn’t such a thing at RBL, but where I work, the partners always make a point of greeting everyone, sticking around at happy hours, etc. Part of their job is to create the culture. RBL doesn’t seem to have that culture, but I absolutely understand why some of the partners want it to. 

And the “not black enough” comment is coming at least in part from Lucca’s tendency to surround herself with all the white characters when she does socialize. 

“I do not have to prove myself to anyone, or perform what they think black should look like. This is 2019. I’m not playing this stupid fucking game,” Lucca responds. She’s right, I think, but I would also be curious to hear other perspectives. This situation feels pretty nuanced to me in that I think it can simultaneously be true that Lucca can act however she wants and shouldn’t be judged or typed for it AND that there’s a somewhat strong case against Lucca as a partner because of her engagement with her coworkers.

Does the fact that I like Evil!Maia so much mean I secretly liked Maia all this time??? 

Jay asks Marissa to help him create more diverse happy hours. And then it’s time for them to confront Book Club. Jay’s got some intel on Rochelle, who’s legit enough to have done polling for Eli. Overcharging a client 30% for a focus group seems like maybe not a big enough deal to blackmail someone with, but Jay tries!

Rochelle isn’t having it and tells Jay and Marissa, basically, that she’s going to escalate things. 

Oh there are very many guns in Diane and Kurt’s bedroom suite thing. 

Diane winds up writing Kurt’s speech for him by bullshiting. Kurt knows it’s bullshit. Diane’s writing a parody but it’s also not parody at all. “A parody but it’s also not parody at all’ is also true of the mindfuck that’s been the last four years. 

Jay ends up doing drawings of cartoon animals to be used in court because the judge can’t understand anything complicated. One cartoon is Judy Giraffe, who may share a name with the toy Andrew Wiley’s kids had in late season 6 (but I’m too lazy to look it up and see if I’m right about that).

This also may just be Zootopia. 

LOL there’s ASMR happening now. I could explain why but it’s more fun if I don’t. 

This scene is hilariously over the top. 

Maia was 12 in 2000. I feel like that’s inconsistent with other timelines we’ve been given but whatever. 

Lucca awkwardly tries to socialize. Lucca immediately misspeaks by saying she thinks Obama probably wished that for one day he didn’t have to be “the black president” and her colleagues freeze up and push back.

Marissa then shows up and the scene ends. Awkward. 

Now Blum’s hired actors to be disruptive in court. Ridiculous. I hate Blum. That said, this isn’t really any lower than Diane’s ASMR shenanigans. 

Blum is singing now, goodbye. 

I FORGOT ABOUT THE CORRUPT JUDGE ADRIAN WAS FUCKING.

So much COTW in this ep. Remember how it used to have meaning when the regulars got called to the stand? Like, I know this is technically character driven drama but it’s nowhere near as engaging as last episode’s internal investigations.

Rosalyn comes into Lucca’s office: she knows they’re up for the same partnership, and understands that’s why Lucca came to drinks. Rosalyn was informed by one of the partners, and as much as I like Lucca, Rosalyn is making quite a good case for herself by handling herself so professionally here. She comes to Lucca once she realizes the partners are pitting them against each other, “because that’s what people do to the black girls.” I want to hear more of what Rosalyn is about to say, but she’s cut off by BALL LIGHTNING. What the fuck? Now the power is out. 

Rosalyn thinks it’s the end times. The red skies do suggest that. Lucca is unconvinced. 

Diane pays Maia a visit. “So, you got what you wanted. A corner office,” Diane says. Had Maia expressed this wish? Or is Diane mocking her?

Maia says she knows what she’s getting with Blum, and “sometimes that’s better.” She isn’t wrong. But it’s BLUM. 

Diane offers Maia her job back. No, PARTNERSHIP at RBL. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. It’s hilarious enough in isolation, but the thought of Maia getting partnership over Lucca or Rosalyn (who both seem very deserving) makes it even worse. I think half of their staff would quit if Maia was made partner. 

It’s more money and Maia is skeptical. She (wisely) guesses that she’d be forced out after six months, but Diane (has she talked to any of the other partners about this?) says that wouldn’t happen. “You’re trying to buy me out of my case,” Maia FINALLY realizes. Well, I guess it makes sense she’d believe she was actually deserving of a partnership after two years of half working. 

Diane says it’s also because she impressed Adrian. Lol, okay. If that’s what it takes to make the suit go away.

Maia says she’ll think about it and asks Diane if it’s weird that they’ve ended up in this spot. Diane says yes and smiles.

Blum overheard the whole thing, naturally. He tells Diane that Maia won’t go with her. Now he is singing. Why is he singing. Why won’t he stop singing.

Liz does not like that Adrian and Corrupt Judge are friends. Why is Corrupt Judge here?

Diane watches Kurt awkwardly avoid clapping while standing directly behind 45. It is very funny and Diane enjoys it. Kurt is then removed from the audience, which leads Diane to say “Kurt, my God, I love you.” The incident makes the news almost instantly.

This Good Fight short has the characters in it. I imagine there’s a non-zero chance we get an animated, musical S4 wrap up given that they had to halt production. 

It’s weird there’s a short that says the season is over, followed by another scene.

Lucca and Marissa discuss how Maia got the partnership offer. Why would Diane or any of the partners let that slip?! “Two black girls are up for the job and they give it to the white girl,” Lucca says. Marissa’s surprised she’s not angry, but Lucca explains-- she knows Maia’s not going to take it. Marissa thinks Maia will, but Lucca understands that Maia’s moved on. 

Lucca no longer cares about the partnership because she’s realized “the best thing is to not care.” It’s almost like she was friends with Season 7 Alicia, who said this like twice an episode. 

Then Marissa and Lucca drop acid in the office because the world is ending, I guess. 

Didn’t the s1 finale also do this end of the world thing? A less apocalyptic version.

I think this Diane and Adrian scene may be a callback to that finale.

Diane posits that love and hope will get us through the endtimes.

Aaaah the case is still happening but I’m SO CLOSE to being done with season 3. I still love what TGF is doing, but its central devices and plots for season 2 worked so much better.

RBL wins! Diane notes that Maia hasn’t responded to their offer. Does that mean someone is still considering giving Maia a fucking partnership even though the case is closed? HA. 

Maia points this out and Diane insists they really want Maia home. This is probably the worst judgment I’ve ever seen Diane have? She wants to bring her goddaughter who is three years out of law school on as a partner at her firm, OVER two extremely qualified black women? Even if Maia were truly the best lawyer ever, the optics alone are bad enough to make Maia a terrible choice.

Maia decides, instead, to head for D.C. with Blum. She gets in an elevator and sucks on a fentanyl lollipop, which, sure, why not? I think they offer her partnership purely so we the viewers can see she’s choosing to emulate Blum and she likes it. 

BYE BLUM!!!!!!!!!! BYE MAIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I won’t really miss either of you, but also, what am I going to write about when I can’t complain about Maia? 

And we’re back in the opening moments of the premiere, which, as it turns out, were a flashforward to this moment in which Kurt and Diane get SWATted seconds after Diane announces she’s happy and Kurt asks what could go wrong. I hope they’re both ok because I won’t be able to deal if they do anything to Kurt. (Or Diane but I’m less concerned about them killing her off lol.)

That’s a wrap! 

[artemissarrows]

Cue the 镇魂 Guardian Screaming

Whelp, this happened. A little over 2 weeks ago, the lovely Mx. Arrows said, “hey, someone on Dreamwidth recommended this Chinese drama Guardian. Sounded like it might be your kind of thing, want to check it out?”

I then proceeded to be that asshat who watches a TV show without their partner even though I said I wouldn’t, and spent the ENTIRE 3-day weekend I was sick finishing up the show. When it ended, I UGLY-CRIED FOR 10 MINUTES STRAIGHT, I hated the ending. 😠

Uh, so I have some reacts. I also started reading the translated novel on Wattpad too, so definitely planning to make some memes from funny parts of the novel that weren’t in the show, so more there too!  If you haven’t seen the show yet, there’s a wonderful snarky summary I just reblogged from @lazulisong. Lots to say, here’s the cut.

Many folx have pointed this out before, but certainly this show has A TON OF problems. The CG is terrible (although I find that adorable/unintentionally funny in a lot of cases). Macguffins are a stupid plot device (although I guess I should blame the book for that one). Especially toward the end, the show really loses the thread of the plot, like what is even happening. Their extras budget is also comically low, do only 10 people live in Dragon City?? (I’ve since learned that they lost a lot of their funding part-way through filming, which is why the OST is amazing and the CG is soooo bad.) And Ze Yun The Evil Twin(k)™ is not the most compelling villain I’ve ever encountered. 

But I literally do not care because Bai Yu and Zhu Yilong’s acting is so phenomenal and you can just feel the care and love that they have for one another so strongly coming through, all other limitations--CENSORSHIP--aside. It’s just a really beautiful love story about two people who would literally do anything to keep one another safe.

Avenue X did several really amazing explainer videos about Guardian, and having read the novel, she said the following, which sums it up nicely. Their relationship’s not really in the words of the script, with a few glaring exceptions I’ll screenshot and share. But there’s SO MUCH PINING and care that it’s really impossible to read it as anything other than a romantic relationship.

She says: “After reading the book and then going back and watching the drama, I so clearly see that the two actors are actually acting the relationship, the emotional connection, the feelings that the two characters have for each other as the book describes, not as the script has described it.”

Even the Chinese government thinks it’s gay (I think it’s back up now on Youku in China). Which gets me to the elephant in the room: censorship. I really know very little about this, but a friend told me that a lot of censorship happened originally because of some listicles that Mao Zedong originally created. Hence some very strange discrepancies between the book and the show that don’t make a lot of sense otherwise.

Ghosts. The entire web novel revolves around ghosts, the supernatural foes are all ghosts/zombies, and indeed Shen Wei is the Ghost King. But apparently ghosts are a major no-no for the censors. So instead we have the Dixingren/”undergrounders” who came on a spaceship (lol) and then got supermatural powers. Uh, sure?

Religion. In the book, Lin Jing is a “fake monk” who says “Amitabha, forgive me” a lot and then eats some fried chicken. So they turned him into a computer nerd instead, I believe to limit offending anyone’s religious sensibilities. TBH, I like it, TV Lin Jing is such a classic nerd and it’s great.

Lastly but most importantly, the gay. It seems that censorship of LGBTQ media, whether social, film, or otherwise, has gotten much worse of late; there was recently an outcry when Weibo (Chinese Twitter) tried to censor a lesbian hashtag/topic. It’s still there for now, but I guess we’ll see. Uuuuugh. 

This means that in the show, there’s no outward showing of Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan’s relationship; it’s all in the PINING GLANCES and things like an awkward-lean almost-kiss, and some comments that Shitty Cat Da Ching and Techno-Nerd Lin Jing make at various points. (More on those later.)

HERE’S SOME ILLUSTRATIVE GLANCING

SOME DEFINITELY TOTALLY BFF PATCHING UP

AND SITTING WITH YOUR BEST BRO ON A VERY SMALL BENCH

AND A VERY SAD & HAUNTED SHEN WEI WHEN ZHAO ACCIDENTALLY REFERENCES SOMETHING FROM WAY BACK IN THE PAST

I also have to say that there’s a period between episodes 11-14 or something like that, where Zhao Yunlan is all “is he or isn’t he??” about Shen Wei being the Black Cloak Envoy or not (including a dork-tastic drawing of them both.) It’s all very Clark Kent, including the huge glasses...I love it. Anyway, I very much read this as “IS HE OR ISN’T HE GAY,” in significant part because several times when Zhao Yunlan confronted Shen Wei about it, the sexual frustration was radiating off of him in waves. Yessssssss.

The one complaint I have about this show (besides the terrible CG, lose-the-thread plot, etc.) is that it’s also kind of sexist, particularly the characterization of Zhu Hong, one of two female members of SID. For one, she has a mad crush on Zhao Yunlan who is extremely not interested (uh, taken??) and her attempts to express her feelings are portrayed as childish/immature. It’s really not a good look for Zhao or the show. Even though Hong’s a demi-human and half-snake with powers, she’s honestly shown as kind of useless most of the time which is deeply annoying too. Like, let her do something badass ocasionally? And generally, there’s just a lot of men in the show and while I am all for the homosocial stuff, there’s a distinct undercurrent of “this is all men’s work” and the most powerful woman is evil (a demi-human crow).

[paintmeablueskye]

To 13 Years...

Tomorrow, I am going to go out to the city and buy one deluxe edition of Lover. I’m only going to buy one because it is literally all I can afford right now even though I desperately want them all--as an English major, teacher, and writer, I love to see Taylor’s writing process and personal thoughts/reflections on life.

BUT, there are a few things I have realized lately and I have to put it all somewhere. This may end up being a bit of a letter to @taylorswift and @taylornation, but really anyone is welcome to read it. I am so sorry that it’s so long.

I have been extremely down and depressed all summer after I didn’t land a teaching a job after graduating from college on May 15, 2019 with my English degree and teaching certification. I graduated with Scholastic University Honors and did a undergraduate thesis that explored how the invention of photography helped American literature move from the literary movement of Romanticism to Realism (including psychological realism). I took it further and also took my own photographs where I created all of the costumes, makeup, hair, etc. AND photo-shopped to create visual representations of the stories that I had discussed in my thesis. I gave artists statements in my thesis and explained why I did what I did in my artwork to give the viewer a chance to interact with and see the story in a different way. I thought I was extremely qualified, and I wouldn’t have much of a problem in getting a job. 

I was heavily optimistic--even though I knew my options were limited. I knew that I would have to live with my family for a while because I didn’t have the money to just move to the city and rent an apartment where teaching jobs would be more plentiful and where they are really struggling to get teachers. I know how desperately my parents wish they could help me--if only they had the means.

I didn’t want to bring this into any interview. I didn’t want to beg. I wanted to get the job because I earned it--because I was qualified for the job. Maybe I was too prideful and didn’t want to humiliate myself OR maybe I didn’t want to subject myself to their pity and get a “hand out”.

I applied to about 10+ different high schools at least an hour away from my parents’ house that had openings and only got interviews from 3 or 4 of them. Most of the interviews went well. But it was the very first one I ever had that has stuck with me and haunted me since.

When I applied, they called me immediately and seemed so excited. The principal tried to set up an interview for that Friday, but was unable because the superintendent was unable to join. So I waited 2+ weeks for an interview after he got back from vacation. I continued to search for openings and applied every chance I got. 

Then I finally got a call for the interview. 

I was nervous because I felt the pressure of paying off my $12,000 in student loans, but I pulled myself together and did my best. 30 minutes before I was supposed to go in, I suddenly got a text message from the principal telling me that they were also interviewing another candidate. I’m still not sure why he told me that when he did or even at all, but many of my colleges and mentor teachers I’ve had told me that it was a tactic principals tend to use around here to make you beg and plead for the job. I don’t beg. We know this.

I got into the interview and I wasn’t told that it had changed to being an interview with both the high school principal and the middle school principal. The middle school principal also wasn’t introduced to me as such so I had assumed she was the superintendent.

In the beginning, they complimented my knowledge of the subject area and that I knew what I was talking about. But, as the interview went on I was suddenly being persuaded to consider teaching at a middle school level by the principals when I had applied for the high school position. She had approached it as if she was concerned and was sharing a story about her daughter, who apparently is a teacher too, and started pointing out reasons why I may do better in middle school than high school. 

The reasons were the following: 1.) I am young--22 going on 23.  2.) I am single and don’t have kids. AND 3.) I am female.

So I’d “have trouble getting respect from the high school boys”. I felt so small--like everything I worked so hard for didn’t matter. I wanted to cry. I felt so disrespected. So when they finally asked if I would consider middle school, I was a little rude and resisted their suggestions, saying, “Honestly, I would prefer to teach at a high school level and most middle school-level classrooms I have observed have given me headaches. I tend to get too ambitious and feel more comfortable with high school-level content.” 

The moment I got to my car, I called my mom and told her what happened. I was unsure if it went well. I was so confused that I couldn’t sort out whether I wanted to work there or not if I were offered a job. I ultimately decided that I wouldn’t because why would I want to work somewhere that wants to tear me down for things about me that I can’t change and force me to do something I don’t want to do. I didn’t get offered the job.

Months later, even though I never got a job, I still went to some free professional development courses that were offered and I happened to meet the person who got that job. I never told him that I had been interviewed against him.

He was a man.

He was possibly in his 50s or 60s, obviously not married, and stated that he had never taught before. As he talked, I could tell that he didn’t know his stuff. I believe he mentioned that it was a career change, so he was more than likely alternatively certified. I went though the traditional route for certification. This was an even bigger blow to my confidence. My post-graduate depression got worse. I felt hopeless. I cried on the phone to my mom and cried again when I got back home to tell her more about it.

So, @taylorswift​. When I heard you say, “I’d be a fearless leader / I'd be an alpha type” AND “I’m so sick of running as fast as I can / Wondering if I'd get there quicker if I was a man / And I'm so sick of them coming at me again / 'Cause if I was a man, then I'd be the man” AND “They wouldn’t shake their heads and question how much of this I deserve” in “The Man” on Lover--I felt less alone. I felt confident in myself again.

Many other things have happened that have made me lose hope and feel depressed. For example, there’s now a restaurant I will never be able to go into again--even though I ate there once. I don’t think I could ever go there again because it was the place where I had a moment that made me realize I loved the person I was dating at the time. (This all happened and ended a few weeks before I graduated college) But then I did something and ruined it. I let myself get in too deep and was terrified to be too honest too soon--but I slipped up and accidentally showed my cards. I hadn’t seen him in a month because he had a bunch of events he had told me about and it was fine. Then our dates kept getting canceled and pushed back because of his job. He told me it hurt him... but he didn’t have the time for me. It’s been an extremely difficult thing to accept because I had never felt that way for someone before. I never felt so safe. I never felt more at home with a person before. Cornelia Street gave me hope. I could see myself in the song, and I cried. While I didn’t get that turning point, I was left with hope that someday it would happen--whether with him or someone else.

Lover has given me hope. Hope for that golden love. It has helped remind me how to see the different ways that the world sparkles--which has been hard since my first and only ex-boyfriend was so toxic and abusive (1989 helped me through that time). I believe that love is out there still--if I know it or not. I haven’t felt this happy in a while. But Lover has me feeling emotions that I haven't felt in forever.

So, thank you Taylor. Thank you for 13 years of music and memories. Thank you for being my best friend since I was 10. Thank you for being my only friend through your music when the girls I thought were my best friends had turned against me, bullied me, and called me every curse word in the book in 4th grade. Thank you for being you. Thank you for being so brutally and beautifully honest. Thank you for sharing your life with me--with us. I hope I’d manage to see you in concert this era--if you happen to tour. Either way, I’ll always find a way to be there for you like you have been there for me.

Stay Golden,

Skye

[blogpr940]

Capture One 20 Slow

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Anyone else experience C1 catalogs taking forever to load? Once the app is open, then I can load/change catalogs with ease. But the first time I open the app and the catalog size is at least 40GB, it just takes f-o-r-e-v-e-r. Reminds me of Aperture 2. Just painful and my number one complaint. I’m still using the test version… but maybe things are better once I purchase???

Not noticing that here, and my machine is not overpowered.

Behind the scenes videos with our favourite photographers, tutorials, tips and guides to Capture One. Whether you are a beginner or an expert, prepare yourself for a dose of tips, tricks. This indicates what speed the camera is connected: 12Mb/s: USB 1.1. If the camera is connecting slower than it should be, reconnect it and refresh System Profiler (via cmd+R). If it persists, try a different port on the machine, preferably on a different USB bus. For our Capture One 21 launch, we challenged Polish food and still life photographer Maciek Miloch to tell us about his experience of the pandemic – using just one color. In this blog, he shares the inspiration behind his shoot. Customizing the Interface. Capture One is a popular RAW photo editor that caters to the professional photographer looking for full control over their craft. In a land of competing products, CO stands out as being one of the few to take the GPU seriously, which is exactly why we decided to take the application for a. Length: 60:00 minutes New Heal and Clone tools in Capture One's latest update are both easier and faster to work with, while providing the high image quality that Capture One is known for. Webinars Shooting and Editing with the Fujifilm X-T4 and Capture One.

“but maybe things are better once I purchase???”

That is never a good thing to assume. It’s rarely right. :-)

Apparently, it is a known issue. Received this from their tech support (which was pretty cool that they’d reply to a non-customer using their time-bombed app):

Hi

If you are on “All images” in the catalog, then CaptureOne is strating threads to open all images. If you instead highlight a low count folder before closing, it will only start opening that folder and it will be much quicker. We are looking in to things to improve this.

Kind Regards Phase One support

Could also be linked to the size of the preview images?

I have a fast iMac, with a very fast thunderbolt drobo. My library contains 40k images. C1 opens in 2mins- 10sec. Holy Cow. I will try pre-selecting a low count folder as described above. Hope this works. So far C1 is the best alternative to Aperture. I tried LR… Really not happy with that program. It’s kindof a disorganized mess.

(Reply to #5)#6

Like I wrote in the other thread, try to relocate your masters out of the Aperture library. I think reading an Aperture managed library may slow C1 down (just an idea).

My catalog also opens quite slowly, taking about a minute with 63K images. This is with the catalog on an SSD and the referenced images on a Thunderbolt drive.

It was worse when I first created the catalog from my Aperture library (over 2 minutes, like you are seeing) but I used the command “File > Verify Catalog or Session…” and it found some problems which it was able to repair. That improved the file opening time from over two minutes to about a minute.

Also, selecting either a small folder of images to open at startup or the full “All Images” collection doesn’t make any difference in the performance.

Look at what part of your catalog you have selected in the left sidebar when closing C1. I've noticed that if I select All Images, then loading of the catalog upon next startup can be slow. Selecting an individual Album or Folder that has fewer images speeds up loading on next startup. I've given this feedback to PhaseOne. Don't know if they will find a way to improve that in a future update, but they do seem to be very interested in user feedback so tell them all of the quirks you experience using their Support Case system.

I am experiencing this very slow startup as well. When the catalog and referenced files are both on external HDD, I have extremely slow startup. I made a screen recording and provided it to PhaseOne. It is an 8 minute video. I have under 40,000 images and the catalog is about 64GB. I copied the catalog to an internal SSD and left the referenced files on external HDD. Startup was extremely fast by comparison (under 30 seconds vs 5-8 minutes).

I have a running case open with PhaseOne (case #215211 if anyone else wants to reference it in their own case).

I’m using Apple Photos to be my reference catalog because C1 was so slow. C1 is too good and I don’t waste my time editing with any other software. Then Photos is too good at cataloging. jpegs and raw files show as 1 file and the viewing modes are perfect. No need to catalog every single photo with C1.

(Reply to #10)#11

Milo, this seems like a brilliant idea. I would like to reference my growing iPhone images from C1. Are you able to comment on the following:

1) Did you create a new C1 catalog for the images in Photos?

2) By default, Photos does not download images to your computer. The pictures reside in the iCloud, unless you download them into the Photos application. Are you only referencing the downloaded images in Photos?

3) How are you organizing your images in Photos and how does that structure appear in C1?

Capture One 20 Slow Start

4) Is the metadata, favorites, tags, etc. recognized when referenced by C1?

Your idea of referencing your Photos library in C1 could be a great solution for those of us who increasingly use iPhone 7 Plus pictures from our travels, etc.

Sincerely, Alex

I haven’t seen the slow starting many have. My catalog is 82G, and opens in approx. 9.5 seconds either on the internal HD on my laptop, or the backup copy on an external raid 5 thunderbolt DAS. All files are referenced, there aren’t any stored in the catalog. Thats opening on a root folder with not thumbnails showing on start up. The time measurement is the best I can do with a stop watch.

absolutely. a pain in the butt

I had. a catalogue. at 70gb

it took 12 hours

it seems. that with Mac there is. a huge problem.

I have been. writing with them , they know there is a problem but will not. admit

and so far nothing has really changed.

I don’t think they know what the problem is

(Reply to #13)#14

What is your configuration? Memory? HDD or SSD? Catalog on internal or external disk? I get the best performance from placing the catalog itself on internal SSD and leaving images on external disk. I have a late 2013 MacBook Pro Retina, 2.6 GHz Intel Core i7, 16GB of RAM, 1TB internal SSD, 2TB external portable HDD. My catalog has 56,000 images now.

If I select “All Images”, it sends Capture One into a tailspin where it consumes all 16GB of RAM and then some (so says Activity Monitor). The app locks up for 5-10 minutes, but eventually the memory goes back down and the app becomes responsive again. I opened several cases with Capture One and provided them a lot of evidence of the issue. They agree there is an issue. I believe an update will addresses this. I can't say when that update will be released.

If I select any other folder or album with fewer images with under 1000 image, for example, Capture One is much faster.

With a few tweaks, Capture One is a fantastic Lightroom alternative.

…and shrink that enormous Capture One catalog file

» Scroll to step-by-step instructions

One of the most pleasant surprises of going 100% Adobe-free has been the switch to Phase One’s Capture One. It has long been a favorite among pros, but I have to admit that I overlooked it at first after being seduced by the slicker marketing and shinier interfaces of some other self-described Lightroom alternatives. None of those proved to be — or show any real progress towards ever being — a complete replacement for Adobe Lightroom, at least not for many professional photographers.

Capture One Pro 11, on the other hand, is an excellent Adobe Lightroom alternative. Capture One is faster, has more powerful tools (including layers), and does not require a subscription! If only Phase One’s marketing reach matched that of Adobe’s (or Luminar’s for that matter), more photographers might learn that they’ve had a wonderful Lightroom alternative just waiting for them all along.

Update November 29, 2018

Capture One 12 is here and it’s the best pro-level Lightroom alternative on the market.

I do have one issue, however, with the configuration options of Capture One. Although it is simple enough to import images into Capture One while keeping those big RAW files on my external RAID, the preview and thumbnail images that Capture One creates can only be stored in the catalog file itself, which is actually a macOS package. This is not unlike Apple’s Photos app, and it makes sense for smaller catalogs.

However, the size of the preview files is not trivial. For a large library, the catalog file can reach many gigabytes, even while the database file itself is only a few hundred megabytes. I would much rather store those preview files on the external SSD that I reserve specifically for caches. That way I don’t waste precious space on my internal SSD, and I can exclude that drive from my various backup services. There’s not much point wasting bandwidth and storage space by constantly backing up new preview files that can always be recreated if lost, and, in my particular case, the catalog file size had surpassed the single file size limit for syncing with iCloud Drive, which is a critical part of my workflow.

I was unable to find an answer in the Capture One user forum, but I eventually, and accidentally, stumbled on a solution while testing the Backup Catalog… command. For whatever reason, Capture One creates a standalone database file when exporting a backup and separates out the preview image cache into its own directory.

It occurred to me that this database file was the same type as that found within the contents of the default catalog package, which led to the following 10-step procedure to move the cache to an external drive.

Step-by-step tutorial:

1 Find the location of the Capture One catalog file in the Finder. The default path is Pictures ▸ Capture One Catalog ▸ Capture One Catalog.cocatalog.

2 Right click on the catalog file (extension .cocatalog), which is actually a package.

3 Select Show Package Contents. This will reveal a .cocatalogdb file, along with various directories, including Cache and possibly Adjustments. You may also see Originals if you have opted to store photos inside the catalog, although that would negate the space savings of storing the preview files in a separate location!

Capture One 20 Slow Cooker

4 Copy the .cocatalogdb file (along with the Adjustments and Originals folders, if they exist) to the directory where you would like to keep your new database file. An easy way to do this is to select the files/directories and press Command-C. Click the back arrow in the top left corner of the Finder window to exit the package. If you want to keep your new catalog database file in the same directory as the original catalog package, just press Command-V to paste right there, or navigate to another location and paste the files there. Personally, I choose to store my Capture One Catalog in a directory that syncs with iCloud.

Capture One 20 Sony

5 Copy just the Cache directory to the drive where you want to store all of your preview images. In my case, I keep the cache in a folder named Capture One on an external SSD.

6 Delete the Cache directory that you just copied (the one in the same folder as the .cocatalogdb file).

7 Here’s where the magic happens. Use the Terminal to create a symbolic link, also known as a symlink or soft link, in the location of the Cache folder you just deleted. This symlink will point to your external cache in a way that is transparent to Capture One. To do this, enter the following at the command line prompt, replacing the first path with the location of your external cache directory and the second path with the original location. Note the backslash escape characters before the spaces.

ln -s /Volumes/My External Drive/Capture One/Cache /Users/username/Pictures/Capture One Catalog/Cache

Hint: You can drag a directory from the Finder into the Terminal window to paste in the path.

8 Double-click your new, nice and slim .cocatalogdb file to launch Capture One. Et voila! Your catalog should load exactly as before.

9 If everything is cool (and all photos are backed up as always!), you can delete the original, bulky .cocatalog file.

10 I can’t end at step 9! So go take some pictures!

[unproduciblesmackdown]

How do u feel about Eno from MonsterKind?

closes book & spins around in chair—oh! didnt see you there. well i’m glad you asked. sets down cup i was drinking from.

tldr i quietly cherish him. i figure it is not exactly his best look right now but i would be surprised if it was to turn out he is/was secretly evil & trying to work against everybody the whole time lmao…..honestly i figured that things were doomed in this way when kip said he trusts eno the most…….that can’t go unpunished. rip

but it is also an endorsement that he must’ve been top quality all this time if kip trusts him that much. i doubt its as Misguided as just being taken advantage of. no idea what the broader con here needs to further take advantage of re: kip….the fact that ppl listen to him whether he likes it or not? or that he can probably survive mad low temps? if he was assumed to die back in the day then the latter seems somewhat relevant one way or another. but i am too dumbassed to make good guesses w/little info

anyways i’m kind of assuming…that eno does sort of have suspicions or straightforward knowledge abt what happened behind the scenes, & its being confirmed just by kip saying there’s some link b/w wallace & the investigation of yore…like, i know i just said im dumb as hell & my guesses are bad, but i’d guess eno thinks that their inside info getting out elsewhere was via himself, not yumi, despite what he said. or even technically if it couldve been yumi i think he thinks it was his own fault. and its not surprising he wouldnt bring up his own suspicious abt his self involvement because like after everything went to shit & the entire project seemingly destroyed, there’s not much relevance to investigating how it happened if nobody plans to be involved. and it would be a little awkward then & now for him to tell kip he thinks he may have been involved in the downfall, even if inadvertently…hm

like……it would be nice if he had secretly developed some kind of assassin level knife throwing skills in the past years. wouldnt it always be. but honestly kip was fuckt the whole time…….nobody seems to be threatening anyone else with knives but i guess if some shadow organization that murders at whim & unhindered shows up & makes threatening demands, the implication is that anyone could be killed, even if some people get to stay alive for the moment just for the sake of pushing them to do something or other thats convenient for whatever latest death plot is underway

e.g. i’m not sure what the point is of purposefully trying to put kip on alert besides having him fall back on eno even more than he would without bringing up that specific threat

but really besides the “well i’m already resigned to someone stabbing kip in the gut while killing everyone he knows in front of him w/promises to kill everybody else too” factor of it all (im not really but—) another reason i cant be that mad is b/c i am also resigned to the fact that wallace is basically in the same kind of position eno was, of an accidental accessory to secret murder

b/c it would truly be a twist if wallace WAS actually in on it the whole time lol….but i doubt it. but the fact remains that he is definitely unwittingly a pawn of the devil!! this wouldnt be a problem if, marxism. anyways the thing is that i really, really doubt that wallace will smoothly learn of whats actually going on before anyone else knows or anyone gets fucked over and be able to gently reveal this to everyone in ways that nobody feels betrayed or breaks their trust with him. i am not even sure how that would be possible…..it is basically inevitable that wallace will have to be exposed as connected to this whole secret society of nightmares, and nobody really knows wallace well enough to be certain that he actually didnt know. and really, the fact that he Doesn’t know doesnt change the fact that he is in fact a part of it and facilitating it, even tho arguably it isnt quite his fault

tbh im assuming that the reason he’s having to do all of this is that he was willing to be transplanted from a to c, and because of that he is like totally clueless about like….everything. he presumably has no idea the kinda shit everyone around him is worrying about like all the time lol & wouldnt know not to try to push past those boundaries. but he can’t exactly be asked to do anything that much different from what he’s doing now / anything too clearly Heinous…besides maybe getting Extra Info or simply making ppl nervous, like making kip think he’s endangered.

coz t.b.h……………i’m not sure that, between kip seeing wallace as harmless and well-intended vs dangerous & ill-intended, the latter is worse? because he is a mix of the two….he doesnt mean any harm but he IS dangerous, technically. not directly thru his own actions quite as much, but still, obviously……kips first impression was basically correct lol rip. i dont think there WAS a way for kip to ever not suspect wallace as being less than purehearted, and of course i also dont think he won’t have to find out that wallace doesn’t want to hurt everybody, but at least he’s a bit on guard about all this fuckery…..even if putting him more on guard is part of some evil plot, which also means its bad…….obviously ideally everyone gets to only ever be best friends and also all be kip’s boyfriends, but i don’t think i my wishes have a tendency to come true, so maybe wait on anticipating that one. in the meantime maybe the inevitable revelation that wallace may have been a double agent will be lessened if kip was holding out for it all along lol. i guess it depends on how much more inadvertent damages wallace’s role is intended to invoke. weird sentence there but i stand by it

basically like dude!! try Knowing Shit instead of not knowing shit!! he may only be an accidental hand of the devil but that doesnt mean he’s totally not working for satan here, so hopefully when he finally realizes the extent of it, he gets to help to right the situation. presumably. idk. but how would anyone know for sure that he never knew what was going on besides trusting that he is not just an excellent actor? i suppose we are in the same situation with eno, huh. despite being given kip’s endorsement, there is only a limited picture of him & then the knowledge that he probably played a part in all the bs w/all these ppl dying. i suppose you can guess that he knew all of what was going on or he didnt or somewhere in between….

basically w/wallace and eno i am assuming that with both itmd a case of well-meaning humans being taken advantage of and accidentally infiltrating these vulnerable circles and sending back information and oh oops, atrocities, and everyone’s dead. i cant imagine that at least kip is meant to survive, and not sure why eno would feel particularly safe on that front either, and clearly any casualties that seem even vaguely necessary can just be carried out at random so you know. bless wallace’s well meaning heart that doesnt know shit but like still, if ppl get fucked over they still have the right to be mad, and if theyre dead theyre still dead, and etc, and also try to learn shit even if it was just a regular, non Agent Of Evil job.

basically what i am trying to say is that im pulling up on my motorbike and telling people that if they’re going to be mad at eno, they ought to be equally condemning of wallace, or that is just inconsistent. like, feel free to either way surely…….i can’t guess that it’d be smooth sailing for eno either if he has to awkwardly divulge that maybe he knows stuff about the whole assassination backstory.

i do wish he had those knife throwing skills for sure…..wish he wasnt being gunpointed into pressuring kip into something or other that surely will endanger him & surely others….but i get why he doesnt exactly seem to have other options at the moment lol. this guy could have assassins all over the block if whatever godforsaken conspiracy is already underway and waistdeep. smh. as i have to assume that he would only endanger kip if he was basically being given a catch 22 of Endanger Kip or Endanger Kip. i suppose he could be doing it solely so he himself won’t be assassinated, but i am personally piecing together that he and kip Are Really in fact That Close & he hasn’t like, faked caring about him this whole time or something

uhhhh tldr i think of him as basically in the same position as wallace, tho to be fair i dont think of wallace as blameless part for not knowing whats going on (like im guessing eno didnt understand until it was too late) and in part because even without the devil he IS just barging in from a in the middle of c & also pursuing audiences w extra vulnerable ppl w/o knowing fuckall (unlike eno who i am also guessing is not from a…)

and perhaps the sole answer to your question as really i was only inferring the part abt asking if eno is suspicious and dubious or not: I Am Fond Of Him Like I Said

what an essay! as all my asks turn out to be!! but i can’t help but theorize. even though i am a dumbass. this is in part because i watched mh for years, and in part because i never assume i’ll still be alive to see any particular plot point in any ongoing media i consume, so i furiously speculate and create au’s in my head and all. for example if i die before its definitely revealed kip doesnt get twenty husbands—which, good luck proving that to me anyways—can anyone tell me he doesnt? no, because i died. so he definitely does. and thats all i have to say on the matter, thank you for tuning in to Milo’s Hour Of Speculation, And Knowing Everyone Is Kip’s Boyfriend

[shadowsong26fic]

Hurray for AU Outlines!

All right, so I got a request to do #11a from my List of Things I’ll Never Write as an outline, soooo here goes!

Note that, due to the fact that the only people who are bigger Drama Queens than the PT Trio in life are the PT Trio having died and been sent back to have a second chance to Make Things Right, this skews a little bit towards the Melodrama and Feels area, rather than straight Funny like some of the others have been.

(Also, as a trigger/content warning, there’s some bits that could be read as passive suicidal ideation).

Previous outlines can be found in the tag.

The actual prompt:

11. Both Anakin And Padme Unfuck The Timeline And Are Bound And Determined Not To Let The Other One Know They’re From The Future

11a. The Same Thing Only Obi-Wan’s Also Time-Travelling

(For those of you who read It’s Like Déjà Vu (All Over Again) [which was prompt #11 above] last summer, portions of this might be familiar.)

So, we start with Anakin. Anakin gets to have his heartwarming death scene, his final moments with his son, a brief and hazy Moment with Obi-Wan and Yoda on Endor…

And then he blinks. And…he’s not a ghost anymore.

He’s standing in the Jedi Council chamber

(which is a whole lot bigger than he remembers; when did that happen?)

“I will train him. I take Anakin as my Padawan Learner.”

…did he seriously just say that? Wow, no wonder Obi-Wan resented me at first.

…wait a minute.

At first, he thinks it’s just—not exactly a dream, per se. But that old saying, about how your life flashes before your eyes when you die?

(this is a bit late for that, though; because he definitely remembers standing with the others on Endor and watching Luke)

(also this is a weird place to start)

(not to mention unfair)

(if he has to relive it all, couldn’t he at least have seen his mom again?)

Still, it’s the best explanation he’s got, so he decides to run with it.

The next couple of days are—very strange

(Obi-Wan and—everyone is so young. He’d forgotten how young they all were, back then.)

Parts of it he remembers clearly, but most of it is fairly vague, or like—a list of facts. This thing happened, then this, then this.

(He overhears Obi-Wan saying he’s dangerous. Why did you forget that, old friend? he wants to ask.)

(Just because he came back, after all, doesn’t change  what he did. If Obi-Wan had killed him properly on Mustafar, or stuck to his guns back here and not spoken up for him—well, maybe not that second; maybe that just would have given the Emperor more access to him.)

(But, on the other hand, had he not been in the Order, in the position he’d been in…)

(Not that it really matters at this point, after all. He’s just an observer, reviewing bits and pieces of his life.)

(Right?)

All of that changes when they get to the hangar.

He climbs into the fighter cockpit, just like last time.

(Artoo is behind him, a comforting, familiar feeling.)

And then, three and a half decades of training and self-discipline go up against a nine-year-old’s inherent attention span and patience.

And lose. Badly.

(Look, he’s never been good at sitting still, okay? And a part of him is nine years old again, which just makes that even worse.)

He turns on the starfighter early, since he’s not just pushing buttons at random, and fidgets a little, waiting for the destroyers to show up so he can shoot them and then “accidentally” turn on the autopilot and head off into space.

(It really was an accident the first time. Which was then his first taste of real flying—of combat, too—and one of the things he’s actually genuinely looking forward to reliving.)

Then Maul shows up.

(A not-insignificant part of him appreciates the sheer Drama of his entrance, lbr.)

(the part of him that reacts like the forty-something soldier/Drama Queen and not a slightly overwhelmed nine-year-old.)

On a whim, he activates the fighter’s guns and fires off a shot.

He doesn’t expect it to work.

(This is all a dream, right? Just reliving things because the Force thinks I need to be punished, right?)

Except—it does.

what.

It doesn’t kill Maul, of course. But it does throw him off his game, and damage his saberstaff.

Suddenly, advantage: Jedi.

For a long moment, Anakin is frozen. What the hell. I can change things? THIS IS REAL?!!!

He shakes it off after a second—locks down the panic/reaction, drawing on those three and a half decades of training and self-discipline.

He has a battle to win. He can think about the rest of this later.

When he makes it back down to the surface (after a much smoother/neater destruction of the control ship, tyvm), things are—well, part of it went the same and part of it…

Qui-Gon survived. That’s a big one.

Obi-Wan did kill Maul again.

(possibly properly this time; we’ll see)

The next few weeks are…kind of a blur, honestly.

Look, it’s a lot to process. Above and beyond the whole time travel is real and I can change the past and omg I can see all the people I loved again and omg the people I loved will see me again I’m fucked etc. etc., a nine-year-old’s brain really isn’t built to process forty-some-odd years’ worth of memories. Most of them pretty horrific.

In the end, it turns out his memories are…not vague exactly, except kind of they are. He doesn’t remember a whole lot of detail. A few moments, of course, stand out, but for the most part, it’s just the broad strokes.

Which is not to say that he doesn’t remember the details, just that he can’t consciously recall them. He basically has to enter a deep trance to dredge up any specifics.

When the dust settles, he was accepted into the Order—but apprenticed to Qui-Gon this time.

Probably for the best, he thinks. I didn’t know him the first time around, after all.

He decides, for many, many reasons, to conceal his knowledge of the future and especially how he got it.

And now, he just has to decide—what to do with his knowledge.

His first instinct, naturally, is to run off and stab Palpatine in the face.

Of course, there are a couple problems with this. First of all, he is tiny and ineffectual. He would attempt and fail and just get himself killed.

(This, incidentally, is why Anakin has to land this early because lbr without a damn good reason holding him back, he would just go murder Palpatine in the face.)

(Being Tiny and Ineffectual is pretty much what’s gonna do it.)

(And while a part of me is delighted by the mental image of nine-year-old Anakin murdering Palpatine in the face, it makes for a very short story and does not fit the prompt sooooo.)

And second of all (though this doesn’t occur to him until after he tries climbing out the Temple window and stops himself because Tiny and Ineffectual), remember the above bit about vague memories?

….yeah, murdering Palpatine in the face without knowing the full context (…assuming he even knew about it/cared to know about it in the first place) could have serious consequences.

Like…quite a bit of the Master Plan is already in motion.

The clones are already in production, almost certainly.

Dooku may already be Tyranus, who the heck knows.

Palpatine didn’t create the problems that led to the Separatist movement and the War (or if he did it was much earlier than this), he just exacerbated them.

So, without Palps imposing some measure of control over the chaos…

Chance are, he’d just unleash a different kind of hell. Maybe it would be better, maybe it would be worse.

But he really doesn’t want to take that chance.

He was given this opportunity to set things right. He’s not about to waste it by just breaking the world again a whole new way.

He decides (though he knows it will be Extremely Difficult), to keep his head down and try to figure out exactly what the context is, put things in place to unravel the preliminaries as best he can, and then murder Palpatine in the face.

Of course, Anakin has never been very good at playing the long game.

(Even as Vader)

And he learns, pretty quickly, that Qui-Gon…has many talents, and is a very good Master for him in many ways but…yeah, not so much that.

(Qui-Gon may, in fact, be worse at long-range planning than he is. He never thought he’d see the day…)

So, after a year or two, he gives in and admits he needs additional help. And there’s really only one person he can turn to.

The problem is, Obi-Wan has been…not very much at the Temple since Anakin arrived. And when he is, he tends to avoid Anakin and Qui-Gon as much as he can.

But they were friends before—while they were alive, and then again, after Luke saved him and they found each other in the Force again.

Anakin is sure that, if he just has the opportunity to talk to Obi-Wan, they will be again…

Of course, before Anakin can approach Obi-Wan, guess whose turn it is now to land in the past!

Obi-Wan wakes up in the middle of a mission, about a year and a half after Anakin got back.

He realizes he’s time-travelled pretty quickly. He sort of vaguely remembers this mission? It was one of the ones he went on just after being Knighted, when Anakin was still too young and inexperienced to accompany him.

(Not a very memorable mission, though. The Force is being kind; he’s going to get enough shocks to the system over the next few days.)

So, once he processes that, he’s pretty happy about it. He can change the past! Fix things! Save Anakin! Not lose EVERYONE all over again!

(well, all right, he’s too late to save Qui-Gon but still)

It’ll take some doing, of course; to unravel everything Palpatine’s already put in place. Make sure he ties up all the loose ends.

(it might well take him the full ten/twelve years he has, even; he’ll need to find actual evidence of what he knows, probably, and explain how he got there some credible way, in order to actually get this right.)

But first…

But first, he gets to see his brother again. And, yes, they found each other in the Force, and everything was all right in the end, but…but this is a second chance.

He’s very much looking forward to it.

So, he wraps up his mission and sends a preliminary report back to the Temple, and then thinks—I’m not too far from the Arkanis sector.

That’s a problem we really don’t need eight years from now.

Besides, from everything he’s heard of her, Shmi Skywalker deserved so much better.

He gets to Mos Espa, and tracks down Watto (he never saw me before, I can do this discreetly and not have to deal with the Council asking Questions I haven’t yet decided how to answer) and finds out—

“The Jedi came through and bought her from me over a year ago.”

And there’s a sort of…brain-glitch moment there, where two conflicting sets of memories over the past two years try to integrate.

At which point he’s absolutely positive that someone else is time-travelling, and he figures it’s either Yoda, Anakin, or Qui-Gon himself. He won’t know for 100% sure, though, not until they actually meet.

I have to get back to the Temple now.

He makes his excuses to Watto, grumbling rather convincingly, he hopes, and disappears off into the sunset, back to his ship and Coruscant.

He gets to the Temple hangar, and Anakin is actually there, waiting for him. And he knows.

Anakin’s eyes go huge, and his shields slam down. He’s clearly unsure exactly how to proceed. He had this All Figured Out, and suddenly he’s dealing with his Obi-Wan, the one he loved and lost and found again, instead of the one from this timeline, and…and…

Obi-Wan nudges his shields a little, and offers a very brief smile—it’s okay, we did find each other again, you came back.

Anakin brightens and tries to hide it.

(badly, as always)

But they’re still in the Temple hangar at the moment, and Anakin is probably Supposed To Be Elsewhere right now.

“Meet me on the roof tonight,” he murmurs as he passes.

Anakin nods, then scampers off to whatever he’s supposed to be doing.

(Obi-Wan decides it’s probably better to approach Qui-Gon after he and Anakin have talked properly. But that’s his next step.)

Anakin’s very Nervous again when he gets up to the roof that night. He’s had all day to fret about it, after all.

But as soon as Obi-Wan gets up there—a couple minutes after Anakin does—he immediately hugs his little brother.

Anakin clings tighter than he remembered knowing how to.

And for a very long moment, they just stand there, clinging to one another, on the Temple roof.

(they don’t speak)

(at this point, they don’t need words)

And then they start talking—Anakin reveals how long he’s been here, and admits that he’s a little lost how to proceed.

“My memories aren’t totally reliable,” he says. “I think my brain was too small when I landed. And you’d think it would get easier as I physically matured, but…”

“Maybe in a few more years,” Obi-Wan suggests.

“Maybe.”

Obi-Wan agrees with Anakin that they shouldn’t just go for Palpatine right away.

(for one thing, if they don’t have any actual evidence, that risks pitting the Senate and the Jedi against one another which would…would not end well.)

So, they decide that Obi-Wan will try to research, find actual evidence that leads them to Kamino and Geonosis. Because “I had a vision” might satisfy the Council (“we came from the future” is slightly less likely, but still within the realms of possibility), but even if they manage to cultivate allies in the Senate, they will never convince that august body of Palpatine’s evil with that alone.

“With any luck, this won’t take too long. I know more or less what I’m looking for, and I have a little more freedom to maneuver.”

“Because you don’t have a small child tagging along this time?” Anakin suggests dryly.

“Partly, yes,” Obi-Wan says, with a smile. “The point is, I’m sure I’ll find something that leads me to Kamino, and we’ll go from there.”

“Without letting him know we’re on to him.”

“Ideally, yes.”

Anakin, they decide, will try to figure out how to deal with the chips. Just in case.

“It might take some time,” he warns. “The interface between the organic and the machine parts is where I always had trouble. Even with the…the suit, later.”

Obi-Wan nods. “But we have eight years,” he says. “Surely, between the two of us, we’ll pull this off.”

“Hey, we’ve pulled off wins against worse odds before,” Anakin agrees, with a very familiar spark in his eyes.

(Obi-Wan’s heart soars a little at the sight.)

For two years, everything goes reasonably well. They make progress, Obi-Wan foils a few schemes (so do Anakin and Qui-Gon).

(Obi-Wan also patches things up with his old Master)

The three of them are a family. They’re actually happy.

But there is a Problem on the horizon.

Palpatine hasn’t quite figured out that Obi-Wan and Anakin are on to him. Obi-Wan is too careful for that, too used to being undergound, and Anakin doesn’t have the access to really make an impact.

But Qui-Gon—Qui-Gon hasn’t been allowing Palpatine the access he wants.

Naturally, the solution to this problem is to arrange his murder.

Neither of the boys takes Qui-Gon’s death well.

For Obi-Wan—well, it’s like Maul all over again; better in some ways because he had more time with his Master; worse in others because just when they reconnected he lost him again.

For Anakin—oh, the guilt. Beside which, he had actually bonded with Qui-Gon this time around, so…the guilt and the grief and everything in him wants to lash out.

(that’s what he does when he’s grieving, after all)

(he lashes out)

(and the worst of it is—the worst of it is, he knows exactly why this happened)

(and it’s all his fault)

(Qui-Gon was killed because of him.)

Obi-Wan figures out this is going down (or at least the first part of it) which is what pulls him out of his own grief spiral and goes to calm him down.

And Anakin starts to withdraw because—because how can he face Obi-Wan, after this—

“Don’t—don’t—don’t shut me out, Anakin, please—”

And that’s all it takes and they both basically break down and cling again, just like on the Temple roof two years before, only…only…

A few days later, they have a strangely familiar conversation at a too-familiar funeral, and Obi-Wan takes over Anakin’s training.

The two of them fall into old patterns—or, well, something very, very close to them. Since they’re not willing to read the Council in on things, they’re also running regular missions along the side. But they continue to interfere with Palpatine’s plans whenever they detect them, and keep looking for the full web so they can safely remove the spider at its heart.

 Palpatine, of course, has backup plans for his backup plans, so he can always course-correct. On the other hand, frustratingly, he doesn’t have any more access to the boy than he did with Jinn involved, and cannot risk another murder.

So, he keeps trying to gain access, and keeps adjusting his overall plans as necessary.

Some ground is gained, but some is lost. Their slow underground solitary war does show some progress, if glacial. And the day to day missions take up enough of their time and focus that, while they are making strides in the longer game, years pass before they even realize it.

And then, Anakin and Obi-Wan are at last sent to mediate a border dispute on Ansion.

They are once again arguing about Anakin’s Trials, just like the first time around.

But this time, they’re taking the opposite sides.

“No, Master, I’m not ready, I need a restraining bolt, I can’t do this.”

(remember what I almost did after he died, Master? You pulled me back. I need you there to pull me back.)

“Anakin, you are clearly ready, I don’t think you do at this point, and the Council is starting to Drop Hints at me about holding you back.”

“No. No, no, no, I can’t do this.”

Obi-Wan sighs and drops the subject for now.

Anyway. Ansion. Anakin seems uneasy, on edge.

“I don’t know. I feel like this mission is Significant somehow, but I can’t place it.”

(karking unreliable memories)

Obi-Wan doesn’t really recall it, either.

“It’ll come to one of us if it really is that important.”

They complete their mission, and then, on the way back to Coruscant—

“Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan, I figured it out.”

“What?”

“Why this mission is so important.”

“Yes?”

“It’s the last one. Before—before Kamino. And First Geonosis. And…Varykino.”

“Oh. …oh.”

Obi-Wan tries to figure out a solution—had things really gone that far already? Where did the time go we’re not ready yet—and the best he can come up with is trying to switch places; perhaps using Anakin’s Trials as an excuse to send him to Kamino, while Obi-Wan guards the Senator.

“If the Council goes for it, I’ll do it,” Anakin says.

But first, they have to deal with the initial half of the mission—seeing Padme again; meeting the bounty hunter, finding, at least, a genuine breadcrumb that will take them to Kamino.

AND NOW, at long last, GUESS WHOSE TURN IT IS TO TRAVEL BACK IN TIME!

Padme wakes up on the approach to Coruscant.

Like Obi-Wan (and unlike Anakin), she figures out she’s time-traveled pretty quickly.

(she mucks around with the landing gear, and is able to do just enough to save Corde’s life, even if she can’t totally prevent the explosion)

And that just confirms it—she’s in the past, this is real, she can change things. She can save the Republic. Save Anakin.

(even if she was wrong when she died, and she doesn’t think she is, she knows there’s still good in him now. She can save him, here and now. She is not going to lose him again.)

Speaking with Palpatine himself again is—not easy. Mostly because she is nearly overcome with the desire to rip his karking face off.

(she focuses on the mental image of Corde in the medcenter instead, because she’s angry about that, too)

(it seems to work; his slimy, false sympathy is exactly as it was the last time)

(This, incidentally, is why Padme has to land so late. The same reason, basically, why Anakin had to land so early—without a damn good reason, she would just haul off and murder Palpatine in the face.)

(And she’s smart enough to know that she has to wait until she takes steps to counteract the inevitable power vacuum, especially with Dooku still out there.)

(But if she landed before he was this entrenched….?)

(Yeah. Murder. All of the murder. Right in the face.)

But then—after suffering through her audience with Palpatine—then she gets to see Obi-Wan and Anakin again.

And there’s a moment of—the last time she saw him, he did go mad and try to murder her. What if she reacts to that, instead of the person he is in the here and now?

(…I will cross that bridge if I come to it, she decides.)

Of course, when she sees him again—

This is her Anakin. Not the one she lost on Mustafar, the one she found at Varykino.

(well, not quite; maybe a little later; a year or two into the War, after he had Ahsoka, before things got too bleak and never-ending; when he was a little bit scarred, a little bit shadowed, but still the golden boy she loved.)

Anakin is just as much of A Mess as he was the first time around.

(if not more)

(Obi-Wan would very much like to bang his head against the wall but he is A Professional, so instead he steps on Anakin’s foot and takes control of the conversation)

(he’s also extremely—if decorously—happy to see Padme alive again like this)

Padme does not actually sleep that night; she remembers those creepy worm things and she knows they’re coming this time.

(“maybe one of us should hang out on the roof, pounce on the droid before it cuts through the window,” Anakin says, “and by one of us I mean me can I please go dive off a roof onto a droid?”)

(“fine, as long as you don’t mock my driving when I pick you up. And we are not taking your shortcut again.”)

(“you never let me have any fun.”)

(“I’m letting you jump off the roof!”)

(Padme watches Anakin fall past the window a few hours later, crashing into the droid and disappearing from view)

(...that’s...different...)

But, long story short, they get their dart breadcrumb. As promised, Obi-Wan speaks to the Council, but they refuse to switch the assignments from what they see as the logical one.

(Anakin is kind of torn between terror and elation and Angst)

(“everything will be fine,” Obi-Wan promises him)

Padme is mostly pleased. She’s still pissed that she has to miss the Military Creation Act vote, but, on the other hand, cementing her relationship with Anakin is almost as important in the long run.

(especially since the War, at this point, is inevitable)

(at some point, while they’re getting ready to go, Anakin mentions Qui-Gon to her; and she has the same sort of brief brain-lag memory-integration Moment Obi-Wan did on Tatooine eight years before)

(Anakin panics for a second “what did I do wrong this time DDDDDDD:”)

(but she does recenter, and figures—well, this isn’t all that much more weird than the concept of time travel in and of itself; question is, does this make her job easier or harder…)

(one thing she is absolutely sure of, though, is that Anakin can never know what she’s seen. It would break him, and she will not let that happen. She’s going to get it right this time. She’s going to save him.)

The two of them continue on to Varykino, and Padme notices more strange things that don’t quite add up.

Anakin is—shy. Definitely interested in her; just as transparent as the last time, but every time they start to get close, to touch, to kiss—he pulls back as if he was burned.

And what follows is, essentially, a role-reversal of their canon courtship.

(complete with Melodrama by the fireside, where Anakin tells her they Can’t Be Together and then flees the scene and Padme promptly bursts into tears because, to her, it feels like her husband of three years just left her, nevermind that he isn’t her husband yet, and…)

(“It would destroy us,” he says; knowing how it would.)

(“I look at you, and I can’t breathe,” he says; hearing the echo of the monster that still lives inside him.)

(“I am here to protect you,” he says; meaning so much more than she can possibly understand.)

(because, whatever else happens, she can never know what he’s done. It would destroy her. And he cannot let that happen. He’s going to get it right this time. He’s going to save her.)

So they spend the next few days Pining. There is so much pining going on, guys.

(lightyears away, Obi-Wan is very glad he’s lightyears away from all of this.)

Obi-Wan’s thread is basically a much smoother, more deliberate progression of his canon plotline.

 Again, he needs actual Evidence that will be acceptable to the Senate, not just the Council.

Of course, when he gets to Geonosis, he has absolutely no intention of getting arrested again. He could do without reliving that particular adventure, thank you very much.

So he picks somewhere less exposed to send his message summoning reinforcements.

(and still gets spotted and captured, because the universe likes to mock his pain)

Anakin facepalms a little, but—well, he needed an excuse to go to Geonosis.

If I can get this part right this time, if I can kill Dooku right from the start—I can’t think of a better way to hamper the Emperor’s plans.

Padme promptly announces she’s going to rescue Obi-Wan, just like she did the first time.

Anakin tries to talk her out of coming along.

(It is very, very difficult, he now remembers, to talk Padme out of anything. Especially where Righting Wrongs and Triumphing Over Evil and Saving People is concerned.)

(he loves her so much when she gets that look in her eyes; a part of him is dying a little but he follows her; he will always, always follow her)

Anakin smiles that little crooked smile of his, the one that means explosions and death-defying recklessness and somehow saving the day nonetheless.

(she loves that smile; almost as much as she loves the full, bright, soft one that’s just for her; a part of her is dying inside, knowing that she might never actually see it again, but she stands at his side; she will always, always stand at his side)

They work their way through the factory, doing a little bit better than the first time, since they know their way around.

But, because they are still Reckless and Unsubtle, they get caught.

As they’re being brought into the arena, just like before, Padme tries one last desperate confession.

(she’d hoped it wouldn’t take a mutual near-death experience like it did for her, but it’s worth a shot)

(and he knows he shouldn’t—not until after Palpatine is dead and his mission is complete—but…but she loves him. She said so.)

(and he kisses her, once, before they’re wheeled into the arena.)

The next bit goes…eh, more or less as it does in canon.

Until they catch up to Dooku in that cave.

…well, okay, for a few minutes longer. Anakin, overconfident and riding the most glorious high of his life, still rushes in heedlessly.

He manages to catch the lightning, but he’s lost vital ground, and he’d—forgotten how skilled Dooku was.

(in his defense, he had defeated him legitimately before murdering him last time!)

Eventually, he sees an opening—the opening—for a clean kill.

But he’s at a bad angle, and Dooku is too focused…

(Obi-Wan will figure it out, he reasons, in the split second he notices it, and steps forward to make a sacrifice)

Dooku misses the fork, takes the bait, makes for the opening Anakin has given him—and strikes true.

But leaves himself open to Obi-Wan who does not hesitate to take his shot.

So, here is what has and hasn’t changed—Anakin still loses his right arm; but Dooku dies at First Geonosis.

Obi-Wan deactivates his saber and steps over Dooku’s body, running to Anakin.

“I’d forgotten,” Anakin mumbles, “how much that hurt…”

“You didn’t have to do that, my friend,” Obi-Wan says, trying to push soothing, comforting pulses along their bond as they wait for help to arrive.

Anakin shakes his head. “Needed t’distract him. So you could get him and he wouldn’t get away this time.”

Obi-Wan sighs.

Padme bursts in a moment later.

“Ani!”

Obi-Wan shifts to allow her room; lets her cling to Anakin’s remaining hand.

(he is, of course, completely unsurprised by this turn of events)

Later, when Padme and Anakin get back from Naboo, they confess to Obi-Wan almost immediately.

“I thought,” Obi-Wan says, when he and Anakin are speaking privately afterwards, “that you were going to try to—that you were going to wait until Palpatine was dead. Just to be safe.”

“I know. But…but it’s really, really hard to…I couldn’t say no to her, Master,” Anakin says. “She…I’d forgotten how much she…I’d forgotten.” And then he smiles, softly.

“Don’t misunderstand,” he says. “I don’t disapprove. I just—you…you are aware I knew from the beginning last time, right?”

“I—wait, what?”

“You two,” Obi-Wan says, patiently, “are not remotely subtle.”

“…you never said anything…”

“You made each other happy,” he says. “Besides, I was hoping you would come to me, eventually.”

“I should have,” Anakin says.

Obi-Wan doesn’t disagree. “Just…don’t shut me out this time, all right? Whatever happens, we’ll get through it together. But I can’t help you if you don’t let me.”

“I won’t, I promise.”

“And—are you sure this is how you want to proceed?” Obi-Wan says.

Anakin thinks for a minute then nods. “She loves me. And I love her. And she asked me and I couldn’t…yes, this is how I want to proceed.” He pauses, laughs a little. “And I never could say no to her, anyway. Not until I was too far gone to listen to anyone. So, if I’m still listening to her, if I still can’t say no to her, I’m doing all right. Right?”

Obi-Wan is Very Very Tired right now. And wants to bang his head against the wall.

(it’s the same problem they’ve been running into with his Trials, all over again)

He chooses not to answer that just now. Instead, he says, “all right, but you have to tell her.”

Anakin’s face drops. “I can’t,” he says. “It would only hurt her.”

“Someday, the truth will come out,” he says. “And the longer you wait, the worse it will be.”

“I can’t,” he says. “What good would it do, to tell her about a horrible future that will not happen?”

“I won’t make you,” Obi-Wan says, after a moment. “But keeping this from her is a mistake. I genuinely believe that.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Anakin says, reluctantly, but has no intention of changing his mind.

And so, the War.

Anakin does have the chips sorted, mostly, and he and Obi-Wan start very carefully working through the 212th and 501st, with the intention of moving on to the rest of the army as soon as they can.

They also have the Actual War to fight, which takes up a lot of time and energy. Even with Dooku dead, the Separatists have enough steam to keep this up for at least a year or so.

Padme is carefully, carefully manipulating events so Bail or Mon (Bail is a little more experienced, but Mon, not being Chandrilla’s ruler’s consort, will have an easier time transitioning from representing her home planet to overseeing the whole galaxy) will be able to take power after Palpatine is removed.

And spending as much time with Anakin as possible.

(He doesn’t really object to this. He’s enjoying this all while it lasts.)

Obi-Wan and Anakin talk, early on, about whether or not to request Ahsoka—eventually settle on yes, because she’s good for them. They all work so well together.

(besides, Anakin is almost entirely happy for this brief moment; this was the best year of his life the first time around, and he has the opportunity to have his family back together and…)

(Obi-Wan doesn’t disagree.)

Ahsoka, of course, has no idea of all of this going on under the surface, but she bonds with her Masters and with Rex and with Padme (who is so happy to see her again she has trouble hiding it)…she’s so relieved that her being assigned to Master Skywalker has worked out so well for everyone involved.

But eventually, things must come to a head. And, after a year, Anakin gets a little nudge.

(It’s time.)

This is—oh, we’ll call it during the Tiny Angry Boba Fett arc.

(this was not one of the missions Anakin remembered with any clarity, incidentally.)

(it was somewhat disconcerting to see tiny Fett, though.)

(having on a Very Significant Occasion worked with the full-sized version…)

Obi-Wan is in the field doing…I honestly can’t recall what he was doing, but it might be different in this timeline anyway. Point is, he’s off fighting.

Ahsoka, of course, is off with Plo, Investigating.

Anakin is stuck at the Temple recovering from his injuries.

(with Mace Windu right there)

(as some of you may be aware, I am very fond of inversions and role-reversals and parallels…see also the Rabbit Hole AU; and there’s a future Precipice plot thread that you can probably guess, given that…)

(they’re still not friends; they probably never will be; but they work together at least as well as they did the first time around)

(maybe a little better, even, because Anakin understands him, somewhat)

And Anakin gets that little nudge and, while Mace is asleep or meditating or something, sneaks out. He goes, at long last, to confront Palpatine.

Palpatine is slightly surprised, but not at all displeased, to hear that General Skywalker has requested to meet with him.

(he’s made little drips of contact through the years, but never quite enough to catch on, fortunately)

(at last, he thinks, the seeds he planted are bearing fruit!)

And then Anakin gets into the office.

(and turns on a recording device he’s built into his arm)

(he’s not quite sure why that’s so important to him to install it, but it is)·

(some deep-buried part of him remembers everything that led to Ahsoka’s trial and is covering ALL HIS BASES)

And then he drops his shields.

Palpatine pauses for a split second, calculating his best response.

Option one: kill Skywalker here, find a way to explain it—ah, yes; an assassin, the young Jedi heroically saved his life, unfortunately sacrificing himself in the process. This is the safest option; Skywalker knows far too much, after all. Best to dispatch the threat quickly.

Option two: subdue Skywalker and take some time to learn how the hell he got this much knowledge of the future. This idea is not without risk—harder to explain away, for one thing—but given how several of his schemes have quietly unraveled over the past few years, it might be a bigger threat to remove his only potential source of information. There may be others who have this knowledge, after all.

He settles on Option Two.

Just as Anakin had hoped, Palpatine begins to stall, drawing out the conversation, looking for an opportunity to subdue him nonfatally.

Keep him talking, Anakin thinks. Long enough to say something truly incriminating, and help Padme and Obi-Wan with the aftermath.

(but just for the two of them; he’s pretty sure he’s not walking out of this confrontation alive.)

(he was already injured, after all, and while he’s mostly healed, it’s a profound disadvantage in a fight like this)

(and he’s made his peace with that)

(he’s not really built for peacetime, after all)

(nor does he deserve it, really)

(he just…he wishes it hadn’t come so soon.)

(it’s too early; Luke and Leia won’t exist now, and that’s—that’s something he really, really wants to happen; but…he trusts the Force to tell him when the time is right, and the time is right to end Palpatine now; he cannot risk failing by delaying)

(so he regrets, a little, but he has faith in Padme and Obi-Wan, absolute faith, that they will see this through, after he does his part.)

Palpatine notices the instant Anakin’s tactics change; realizes there must be a recording device somewhere; how could this happen, how could this notoriously unsubtle child get that past me? His arm. It must be in his arm; I need to make sure it’s destroyed when I kill him—

He lashes out; lightning, of course—but not quite quickly enough to stop Anakin running him through.

Anakin staggers a little, fighting to stay conscious as the lightning burns through him, his arm sparking madly (but the part of him that planned for this planned for that too; the recorder is safe); and Palpatine—Palpatine has one last trick up his sleeve.

He has a knife in his boot, a last-ditch self-defense weapon; dipped in poison because he never does anything halfway. He buries it in Anakin’s side, using his last moments to make sure he takes Skywalker with him.

MEANWHILE, back at the Temple

Mace wakes up, and immediately notices Anakin is gone.

He gets up, snags a passing Healer, brushes aside her remonstrances.

“Was Skywalker discharged?”

“What? No, of course not, why--?”

Mace doesn’t bother answering. Just pushes past her and bolts after Skywalker.

He gets to Palpatine’s office in time to see the lightning and both stabbings.

And, despite the concussion, as he is in a much clearer/steadier frame of mind than Anakin was the first time around, Mace is able to evaluate the situation more or less accurately, and does not draw on Anakin.

Instead, he asks, “….Skywalker, what the hell is going on here?”

Okay, he can clearly see that Palpatine was the Sith Lord—which is going to take a hell of a lot of explaining what the hell—but how Skywalker knew—

“That’s…a very long story, Master.” He detaches his prosthetic, and passes it over. “Evidence. I recorded everything.”

Mace stares at Anakin. Stares at the prosthetic. Stares at Palpatine’s smoldering body.

(his half-healed concussion-induced headache is getting worse by the millisecond)

He finds the recording, skims through it—

“…all right. I’m going to get the guards to secure the scene,” he says. Then, eyeing Anakin, “also a medic. Stay put, Skywalker.”

“Sure,” Anakin says, and closes his eyes.

Mace turns off the recording and heads off, holding on to the arm.

And Anakin—Anakin is really feeling the poison burning through him now. He yanks the knife out—he tries to purge the toxin, but he’s not strong enough; not after the lightning; not while he’s bleeding like this.

Padme, he thinks. I can’t—I can’t see Obi-Wan, I can’t see Ahsoka, I can’t see everyone I love to say...but I have to…I have to…

(Obi-Wan, of course, is already on his way back to Corucsant. He has a Very Bad Feeling right about now, and picks up the pace, flying with a recklessness that Anakin might appreciate, if he were here)

He drags himself to his feet, wraps his cloak tightly around himself and hopes it will hide the blood, before sneaking off.

He manages to get to Padme’s apartment without passing out; rings the buzzer.

She comes to the door. “Ani!” She blinks, then stiffens, alarmed. “What…what happened to your arm?”

“S’all right,” he says. “S’evidence. I need…I need…”

She takes his hand and pulls him over to the couch. “Evidence? What do--are you all right? You don’t…you don’t look well. I thought you were stuck in the Temple? Ahsoka said something about an explosion…” She presses a hand to his cheek, checking for fever; but he feels cool to her touch.

“I was,” he says, then takes an unsteady breath. “I need…there’s some…some things I need to tell you; Obi-Wan kept saying I should, for months, but I…I couldn’t…please, just…just let me finish, before you say anything?”

And he turns such haunted, weary eyes to her that even if she wanted to, she couldn’t say no.

“Of course,” she says. “You can tell me anything, you know that.”

He nods; his breath is coming a little short now, and her face is starting to blur in front of him. “I…I just assassinated the Chancellor.”

That was—that was not at all what she’d been expecting to hear. “What?” she whispers.

“He—he was evil, Padme, or I wouldn’t have—you have to believe I wouldn’t have—the…the…the proof, there’ll be proof soon. And I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t…” He blinks. “The reason I knew is because…because I…in another life, I…I helped him to…to destroy it. Everything. We…we burned it all to the ground, but I got…I got another chance, I got sent back and I…I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry, I did such…such terrible things, and…” He stops, trying to catch his breath. “I’ll go. I’ll—”

She catches him before he can rise. “I know,” she says. “I know, I…”

He stares at her. “…what…?”

“I got sent back, too.” She kisses him, gently. “And I couldn’t…I didn’t want to hurt you, I didn’t want you to hate yourself for things you hadn’t done yet, so I…I didn’t say anything either. But it’s okay, because you…you came back, I always knew you could, I told Obi-Wan, and…and we’re both here now. That’s what matters. We’re both here, and you’re you again, and...”

His head is spinning. “You…you don’t…you thought I was…?”

(her face flickers in front of his; warm brown eyes replaced by earnest blue ones, I’ve got to save you; you already have)

“I knew you were,” she says, and kisses him again.

And then she feels something wet on her hand.

“…you’re bleeding!”

He catches her hand. He’s really short of breath now, and she can feel his heartbeat fluttering under her fingers. “S’all right,” he says again. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Don’t be stupid,” she says. “You’ll be okay, I’m gonna get help, we’ll get you fixed up, you’ll be—”

He shakes his head. “Maybe—maybe it’s…it’s better this way, I can’t…I can’t break…”

“Don’t talk like that,” she says. “It’s not, it’s—no, Ani—”

“Least I…least I got to see you again,” he says, then, “I love you. Always, always loved you.”

“No,” she says, “no, no, no, you can’t—we—we fixed it, Ani, I don’t think we get another do-over you can’t…you can’t do this, don’t leave me, please, please, stay with me…”

And then he passes out.

When he doesn’t answer, she yells; all pretense at secrecy forgotten; for one of her handmaidens to go find a doctor.

Obi-Wan, meanwhile, has landed on Coruscant and follows his instincts, heading straight for Palpatine’s office. He arrives not long after Mace realizes Anakin has slipped off again.

“Obi-Wan,” Mace says. “What are you doing here?”

Obi-Wan takes in the scene with a glance—the blood; Palpatine’s body which looks so much smaller and less intimidating in death—and all he says is, “where’s Anakin?”

“I’m not sure,” Mace admits. “I turned away for a moment and when I got back he was gone.”

“He—how badly was he hurt?”

“Badly,” Mace says, “or I wouldn’t have left him alone. He was conscious, and lucid, but I didn’t think he could stand, let alone…”

“Damn it,” Obi-Wan says, half under his breath, “damn it, Anakin, you promised you wouldn’t shut me out, we were supposed to do this together—”

“…what.” Mace says.

…oh, not good, Obi-Wan thinks, realizing he’d just said that out loud.

“Obi-Wan, do you have any idea what the hell is going on here?”

“I—”

And then he spots the dagger on the floor, where Anakin dropped it.

Very, very carefully, he picks it up by the handle.

Mace catches his thoughts immediately. Explanations can wait. “I’ll pass this on to the medics,” he says, taking it from Obi-Wan’s hands. “Go find Skywalker.”

(as if Obi-Wan needs to be told)

(as if Obi-Wan really needs to look that hard)

(use your feelings, Obi-Wan, and find him, you will)

Padme looks up when her door opens, still cradling Anakin, hoping it’s the doctor that Elle ran for, but—

“Obi-Wan,” she says, and their eyes meet—

And he knows.

“…when he wakes,” he says, his voice shaking just a little, “when…when Anakin wakes, the three of us need to have a very, very long conversation.”

Her eyes widen, comprehending, and she nods.

And, just as he did for her on Geonosis, she shifts her position, making room for him.

He rests a hand on Anakin’s forehead; healing isn’t his strong suit but he does everything he can to hold Anakin there with them, until the doctor finally, finally arrives.

And, because this is already waaaaaaaaaay longer than I thought it would be, a brief epilogue/summary:

Anakin spends the next couple weeks pretty out of it, while Obi-Wan accounts to the Council and Padme and Mace explain Palpatine’s death.

(but he does survive; it would hardly be a proper fix-it if I gave him an actual Cyrano ending, now would it)

Bail is appointed interim Chancellor while everything is sorted out, but steps down/does not become permanent Chancellor. Probably Mon does.

When Anakin is conscious and lucid enough, he is debriefed; after a great deal of discussion with Mace, with Yoda, and, most importantly, with Obi-Wan and Padme and Ahsoka, he decides to leave the Order.

(Padme takes a brief leave of absence from the Senate, and takes him to Varykino to continue to recuperate, and so they can really figure out where they are as a couple now, with everything they know, with everything they lived through and then averted. But she does go back to work after a month or two)

(Obi-Wan takes over Ahsoka’s training; but it’s more or less understood that he will resign and join the others after he sees her through to her Trials)

Ahsoka actually stays with the Order in this timeline; becoming weaponsmaster after Master Draillig retires.

(but when the twins and their eventual little sisters are born, she revels in being Aunt Ahsoka, and visits as often as she can)

And from there…well, all kinds of things could happen, with the Galaxy reshaped and set back on track.

The important thing is, though, Our Heroes have all the time in the world to figure it out.

[slendermanlore]

Original Mythos + Literary References

Here’s a compilation of references to (allegedly) real books, movies, online stories and sites, etc. made by contributors to the Original Mythos.

Original Mythos Meta:

Slender Man would make a pretty nice horror novel in the lines of "House of Leaves".

Essentially, make the novel a collection of witness statements, newspaper clippings, pictures, drawings, articles discussing evidence for an against the slender man and, to tie it all neatly together, a few stories of people who want to track the slender man, unravel the mystery,

And the kicker would be the last 20 or so pages would be missing, with only scraps of paper left, arranged as logically as possible, just excerpts, words, rips, ink stains, etc.

Original Mythos Meta:

It's The Rake all over again!

Conspiracies:

When you posted the part about the chest injuries it reminded me of the Dyatlov Pass incident that was posted in the Unsolved Mysteries thread:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dyatlov_pass_accident

Wikipedia posted:

and both Dubunina and Zolotarev had major chest fractures. The force required to cause such damage would have been extremely high, with one expert comparing it to the force of a car crash.Notably, the bodies had no external wounds, as if they were crippled by a high level of pressure. One woman was found to be missing her tongue.[1]

Original Mythos Meta:

I'm suddenly imagining a Slender Man "documentary," done in a style similar to The Last Broadcast or that old Alien Abduction TV special. Interviews with witnesses of various encounters through the years, investigation into the different events brought up in this thread, and specialists analyzing photographs, intercut around home video footage taken by a missing family, showing them being picked off by the Slender Man. As we get further into the film, we also start to see behind the scenes footage of the making of the documentary, with crew members not showing for work and not answering calls, various production problems… then finally ending with a note that the director disappeared immediately after completion of the film.

Original Mythos Meta:

"Some say that the worst monsters reside in the imagination, drawn from the greatest fears of those who imagine them. I say there are horrors beyond mortal imagining, and they are far worse. And I have looked on both."

Original Mythos Meta:

The backstories have been working well so far because they talk about things without explaining them, it's sort of along the lines of House of Leaves in that way.

Marble Hornets Preamble:

He agreed, but only under the circumstance that I never bring them back to him, and never discuss what was on them with him. He also highly discouraged me from showing any of it to anyone else. I laughed at this, and said that he must have accidentally made The Ring or something with the way he was talking. He didn’t acknowledge this and brought me up to his attic, where he was storing the pile of tapes.

British Myths, Legends, and Unsolved Tales:

Adair, J. (1989) British Myths, Legends and Unsolved Tales, London: Pan Books.

Original Mythos Meta:

Has anyone thought about the possibility that we are creating a tulpa? It's a thought form that is realized through the efforts of a group of people. We might be creating the Slender Man, making him real.

The Toronto Society for Psychical Research did this with an entity called "Philip" in the mid-70's. There was a book written about it, called "Conjuring up Philip." "He" was a fictional person, knowingly created by the group. It was all fun and games until "Philip" started to take on a mind of his own. "Philip" became real, as far as any paranormal thing could be said to be real. So take all this with a big grain of salt.

Original Mythos Meta:

Now go watch Aphex Twin's 'Come To Daddy' video. Take careful note of the inhumanly tall, emaciated figure the children gather around.

Original Mythos Meta:

The Slender Man, to date, is the only thing to creep me out worse than the Black Eyed Kids… of course, not all the missing children were recovered… who knows what happens to them when the Slender Man is finished?

Original Mythos Meta:

After all, the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.

Original Mythos Meta:

No, the greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he DID exist.

Small Findings:

I have this coffee table book of photos from Life magazine. The pictures go back to the late 1800s.

Imagine my surprise when I took a closer look at this photo of Yosemite Valley from the 1870s.

Not only did I see our mysterious boogie man

But also the skull and rib cage of some unfortunate soul.

I can’t say for sure that the remains are one of its victims, but I’d be willing to bet on it.

Conspiracies:

XI 20: He who several times has Held the cage and then the woods, He will return to the first state His life safe shortly afterwards to depart, Still not knowing how to know, He will look for a subject in order to die.

Original Mythos Meta:

"There are those who believe they can be "one" with those who are not of our world. These people often think that somehow they have some kind of mental or "spiritual" link. Oftentimes these people will go out into areas that have been reported to be the hunting grounds of said creatures. These individuals are often more dangerous than the creatures that they worship/are in love with. When faced with the choice between the reality of the creature not existing or staying in a fake world they will choose, sometimes to the bitter end, the made up world.

In a somewhat ironic way, those who believe themselves to be the worthy follower/lover of these beings are in fact far removed from the "ideal" being the creature would choose!"

Edvard Tobin "Humanity and the Supernatural: A Dangerous Combo" Pub: 1994

Original Mythos Meta:

In reading this thread, I'm struck by one behaviour of Der Ritter in particular, that of its impaling its victims in a tree, while removing and reinserting their internal organs. It's remarkably akin to the feeding habits of shrikes, also known as butcherbirds.

See, what a shrike will do is capture a smaller animal - anything from a cricket to a smaller bird or mouse - and kill it. Shrikes are songbirds, and their musculature is pretty lacking compared to a straight-up raptor like a hawk or owl, so their kill is messy and inefficient, consisting of many pecks and bites to the head and neck. This continues until the prey animal is either dead or too tired to fight. But that's not the worst part. The worst part is that as weak as their jaws are, their claws are weaker, and they wholly lack talons. They're built to perch. So, what a shrike will do, is it will take its prey to a thorny tree, or bush, or even barbed wire, and it will ram its prey down on a spike so that it won't move when the shrike tears it apart.

It's a songbird that's learned to kill, and it does so far more cruelly than any raptor.

Anyone ever hear the Slender Man sing?

e: Wikipedia on Lanius excubitor, the Great Gray Shrike: "This species will lure birds closer by mimicking their calls."

Original Mythos Meta:

I'm still REALLY seeing Slender Man as being related to Shadow People and, now, the hat man. http://www.thehatmanproject.com/

I have this vision of Slender Man coming up to you and Shadow People just… gurgling out of his shadow. As if he creates them.

Original Mythos Meta:

Slender Man is like that stupid game where you lose as soon as you think about it.

If you think about him, he knows. If you fear him, he comes. The only way to escape the Slender Man is to not know about the Slender Man.

Conspiracies:

In 1977, as Led Zeppelin embarked on their tour of the United States, Jimmy Page’s interest in the occult and addiction to heroin were at their peak. His playing was spotty at times, his weight had dropped considerably, and his focus was clearly elsewhere. His delving into the supernatural spirits made him lose sight of the goal of the band, with Zeppelin’s lights manager later remarking that singer Robert Plant would often have to snap Page out of his between-song trances, with Page not remembering how their own tunes went. Page also grew increasingly paranoid in an infamous incident prior to an interview with Cameron Crowe where he ripped a phone out of the wall because he felt that someone was spying on him. It was as if a force he tapped into was corrupting him.

Original Mythos Meta:

I wonder perhaps if Slenderman's name is Zoso, but he would come for anybody who figured it out, which is perhaps why Jimmy Page has been so secretive about exactly where they got their symbols for their IV album.

Hang on guys, I think there's somebody standing in front of my house…

Ghost Stories of the American South:

So once the Slender Man began popping up in this thread, I could have sworn something about it seemed familiar. I’m an amateur folklorist, so I had a few source books lying around. It took me a while, but I finally found something in W.K. McNeil's Ghost Stories of the American South. Most of the tales collected are transcripts of recordings other folklorists made, but McNeil compiles them and offers notes. A really handy book. So anyway, this particular story appears in the book’s seventh section, “Other Supernatural Creatures.”

Original Mythos Meta:

Wasn't there an artist who painted a picture—supposed to be really famous, its in all the big fancy art books. Isn't called "The Scream" or "The Screamer" ? It showed an elongated person with its hands besides its head or doing like the microphone around its mouth.

[...]

Hasn't ANYONE seen the movie "Mimic" ? The Judas Bug. It EVOLVED to look like the prey that it hunted. Now, i understand that this doesn't fit every story (like the wood carvings, But it does rather fit the Woodcarving with the skeleton with the arm-spear, It looks human)

Nathaniel V:

From a grimoire of sorts I picked up at a used book store.

Called The Observations and written by someone calling himself Nathaniel V. I don’t know if that is a letter “v” or a roman numeral 5.

Original Mythos Meta:

I think I mentioned this before--but the original Slender Man pics associated him with fire, as in preceding or instigating fire. Dissection and other means of destruction came later--not that I'm complaining. As Call of Cthulhu d20 once said, a beastie can have a thousand legs today and no legs next time, so long as it makes each encounter more horrifying.

[hydrus]

Version 443

windows

zip

exe

macOS

app

linux

tar.gz

I had a great week doing nice cleanup and quality of life work.

Hey, we had a problem getting the macOS release to build this week. The macOS link above goes to a build using a simpler and faster method. It should work fine, but please let me know if you have any trouble. As always, back up before you update!

highlights

Popup messages can now launch complex jobs from a button. The first I've added is when a subscription hits its 'periodic' file limit. The situation itself is now better explained, and a button on the popup will create a new downloader page with the specific query set up with an appropriate file limit to fill in the gap. The second is if you try to upload some content to a repository that your account does not have permission for (this is affecting sibling- and parent-uploading PTR users as the shared public account is changing), the popup message that talks about the issue now has a button that takes you straight to the manage services panel for the service and starts automatic account creation.

Subs should now be more careful about determining when they have 'caught up' to a previous sync. Small initial file limits are respected more, and the 'caught up' check is now more precise with sites that can give multiple files per URL or very large gallery pages.

I gave options->speed and memory a full pass. The layout is less crushed and has more explanation, the options all apply without needing a client restart, and the new, previously hardcoded cache/prefetch thresholds are now exposed and explained. There's a neat thing that gives an example resolution of what will be cached or prefetched, like 'about a 7,245x4,075 image', that changes as you fiddle with the controls.

The client has recently had worse UI lag. After working with some users, the biggest problems seemed to come in a session with lots of downloaders. I traced the cause of the lag and believe I have eliminated it. If you have had lag recently, a second or two every now and then, please let me know how things are now.

If you use the Client API a lot while the client is minimised, you can now have it explicitly prohibit 'idle mode' while it is working under options->maintenance and processing.

full list

quality of life:

when subscriptions hit their 'periodic file limit', which has always been an overly technical term, the popup message now explains the situation in better language. it also now provides a button to automatically fill in the gap via a new gallery downloader page called 'subscription gap downloaders' that gets the query with a file limit five times the size of the sub's periodic download limit

I rewrote the logic behind the 'small initial sync, larger periodic sync' detection in subscription sync, improving url counting and reliability through the third, fourth, fifth etc... sync, and then generalised the test to also work without fixed file limits and for large-gallery sites like pixiv, and any site that has URLs that often produce multiple files per URL. essentially, subs now have a nice test for appropriate times to stop url-adding part way through a page (typically, a sub will otherwise always add everything up to the end of a page, in order to catch late-tagged files that have appeared out of order, but if this is done too eagerly, some types of subs perform inefficiently)

this matters for PTR accounts: if your repository account does not have permissions to upload something you have pending, the popup message talking about this now hangs around for longer (120 seconds), explains the issue better, and has a button that will take you directly to the _manage services_ panel for the service and will hit up 'check for auto-account creation'

in _manage services_, whenever you change the credentials (host, port, or access key) on a restricted service, that service now resets its account to unknown and flags for a swift account re-fetch. this should solve some annoying 'sorry, please hit refresh account in _review services_ to fix that manually' problems

a new option in maintenance and processing allows you to disable idle mode if the client api has had a request in the past x minutes. it defaults disabled

an important improvement to the main JobScheduler object, which farms out a variety of small fast jobs, now massively reduces Add-Job latency when the queue is very busy. when you have a bunch of downloaders working in the background, the UI should have much less lag now

the _options->speed and memory_ page has a full pass. the thumbnail, image, and image tile caches now have their own sections, there is some more help text, and the new but previously hardcoded 10%/25% cache and prefetch limits are now settable and have dynamic guidance text that says 'about a 7,245x4,075 image' as image cache options change

all the cache options on this page now apply instantly on dialog ok. no more client restart required!

.

other stuff, mostly specific niche work:

last week's v441->442 update now has a pre-run check for free disk space. users with large sessions may need 10GB or more of free space to do the conversion, and this was not being checked. I will now try to integrate similar checks into all future large updates

fixed last week's yandere post parser link update--the post url class should move from legacy moebooru to the new yandere parser correctly

the big maintenance tasks of duplicate file potentials search and repository processing will now take longer breaks if the database is busy or their work is otherwise taking a long time. if the client is cluttered with work, they shouldn't accidentally lag out other areas of the program so much

label update on ipfs service management panel: the server now reports 'nocopy is available' rather than 'nocopy is enabled'

label update on shortcut: 'open a new page: search page' is now '...: choose a page'

fixed the little info message dialog when clicking on the page weight label menu item on the 'pages' menu

'database is complicated' menu label is updated to 'database is stored in multiple locations'

_options->gui pages->controls_ now has a little explanatory text about autocomplete dropdowns and some tooltips

migrate database dialog has some red warning text up top and a small layout and label text pass. the 'portable?' is now 'beneath db?'

the repositery hash_id and tag_id normalisation routines have two improvements: the error now shows specific service_ids that failed to lookup, and the mass-service_hash_id lookup now handles the situation where a hash_id is mapped by more than one service_id

repository definition reprocessing now corrects bad service_id rows, which will better heal clients that previously processed bad data

the client api and server in general should be better about giving 404s on certain sorts of missing files (it could dump out with 500 in some cases before)

it isn't perfect by any means, but the autocomplete dropdown should be a _little_ better about hiding itself in float mode if the parent text input box is scrolled off screen

reduced some lag in image neighbour precache when the client is very busy

.

boring code cleanup:

removed old job status 'begin' handling, as it was never really used. jobs now start at creation

job titles, tracebacks, and network jobs are now get/set in a nicer way

jobs can now store arbitrary labelled callable commands, which in a popup message becomes a labelled button

added some user callable button tests to the 'make some popups' debug job

file import queues now have the ability to discern 'master' Post URLs from those that were created in multi-file parsing

wrote the behind the scenes guts to create a new downloader page programmatically and start a subscription 'gap' query download

cleaned up how different timestamps are tracked in the main controller

next week

I am now on vacation for a week. I'm going to play vidya, shitpost the limited E3, listen to some long music, and sort out some IRL stuff.

v444 should therefore be on the 23rd. I'll do some more cleanup work and push on multiple local file services.

Thank you for your support!

[sarahburness]

30 Easy Ways to Save Money You Probably Aren’t Doing Yet

Let’s keep this one simple and clean – just a bunch of relatively easy ways to save money. As you incorporate more and more of these tips into your life, the savings add up and it wouldn’t surprise me if you could save thousands over the course of a year.

It will take a little work on your part but those thousands of dollars in savings are what helped us get out of debt earlier and kept us out of debt for several years . Hopefully, it’ll help us pay off our recent auto loan soon as well.

Cook at home often

If both the husband and wife work, this is likely to be very difficult. Start out with the habit of cooking at home once a week and slowly increase the frequency until you find a balance between saving money and getting stressed out.

Make your own coffee

Everyone seems to have heard of the latte factor. Even though the author may have overestimated the savings from skipping a latte at Starbucks, don’t underestimate the ding it puts in your pocket in the long run. You don’t have to entirely ban drinking coffee, but skip it as often as possible- unless you make it at home.

Brown bag lunch at least a few days a week

Lunch times are great opportunities to network and make connections that could improve your career growth. So, unless there is a common eating area for brown baggers, you may choose to limit brown bagging lunch to three days each week.

Find a balance between saving some money and making the connection. In my case, I take my lunch with me 2 to 3 times a week and eat out the rest of the time.

Make a list before going shopping

They call it impulse buying for a reason.

Humans simply have a very tough time resisting the temptation to purchase extras while shopping. Without a list, you will likely buy items that you simply do not need. Even worse is when your forget to purchase the actual item you came to the store for in the first place.

If you plan on cooking at home, pre-plan a rough menu and make a list before you go grocery shopping. Getting all that you need in one trip can help avoid another unnecessary trip and temptation.

Go grocery shopping while you are in a hurry

Maybe you need to go out in a couple of hours or your favorite show is going to be on TV after a couple of hours. Try to squeeze in the grocery trip in that intermediate time.

Armed with your grocery list, you should be in-and-out very quickly with little time for meandering and getting tempted to buy things you don’t need.

Watch out for expiration dates on perishable goods

This one seems intuitive when you read it, but I am surprised at how many people do not pay attention to expiry dates. No point getting a gallon of milk if it is going to turn sour with a couple of days. Same goes for meat, eggs, yogurt, spreads, frozen items, and deli/bakery items.

Some people say you can use a few items a few days after expiry but I personally value my health more than money. I would rather avoid buying such items in the first place. 

Buy in bulk whenever possible

When it comes to non-perishable items, buy in bulk whenever you find something on sale. The items I usually stock up on are, cereals, tinned goods, rice, beans, pasta, coke, toothpaste, body wash, shampoo, toilet paper, etc.

For such items, shopping at warehouse stores like Costco and Sam’s Club can save you quite a bit of money- that is if you stick strictly to your shopping list when you shop.

Buy generic products whenever possible

Does it really matter whether your cereal is made by Kellogg’s or is the store brand? Does it matter if your milk is Oak Farms or the store brand?

For a few things (like soda in particular), I prefer brand name products. For others, I do not mind generic store brands if they can save me money. Find what works for you and switch to generic brands for at least a part of your grocery list. 

Use grocery store bags to line trash cans

This may not work if you use a massive trash can but we use a small sized one for which the grocery bags are a perfect fit. This not only helps us save some money, but reduces our environmental foot print. It avoids the kitchen from stinking from a huge overflowing trash can, too.

Consolidate and pay off debt as soon as possible

If you carry any debt, focus on consolidating it to a lower interest and paying it off as soon as possible. Money paid in interest is money thrown away! Why spend your hard-earned cash to make the financial institutions rich?

See Also: Staying Out Of Debt: 3 Money Habits You Should Be Doing

Pay your bills on time and avoid late fees

Get organized about your regular bills. If possible, automate the payments. Most utilities and other recurring bills can be set to be charged to a credit card or deducted from a checking account these days.

Also, many banks offer free bill pay programs. There really is no excuse for forgetting to pay a bill on time and forking out the late fees.

Say, by chance you do forget a bill, if you are a first time offender, call the company and request politely to waive the late fees. More likely than not, they will oblige.

Be aware of your bank balance and avoid over draft fees

If you use your checking account often or have some bills that are paid automatically from your checking account, be aware of the balance and avoid overdraft fees. 

Avoid ATM fees

Be aware of the ATM withdrawal fees charged by your bank. While some banks waive fees for all ATM transactions on any ATM machine, most don’t.

So, be sure to use only those ATM machines where your bank will not charge the fees or withdraw directly at your bank. 

Avoid credit cards with annual fee

Credit cards with their cash back bonuses and reward points are a great way to save some money. Just make sure that the card does not charge you any annual fees. There is no dearth of cards that offer fee-free reward plans, so there really is no reason to pay the annual fees. 

Disconnect land line if possible

Unless you have small kids in the house or older people to take care of, it is more than likely that you will be able to survive with only your mobile phones.

We have survived without any problems for over 4 years now without a land line. Our Internet comes via cable. 

Instead of buying books, borrow books from the library

Whenever possible, borrow your books instead of buying them. The card to your public library is free and the libraries are generally well stocked.

In my city, the chain of public libraries is connected and the available books can be checked online. If there is some book that I cannot find in my local branch, I can make a request online for it to be brought in from one of the other branches to mine which is very convenient. 

If you have to buy books, check if you can buy it used

Used books do not quite give the same feeling as leafing through the crisp pages of a brand new book. However, considering that you can get used books for almost as much as half the price of a new book, it is a small price to pay.

My favorite place to buy used books is a local chain called “Half Price Book Store”. Check if you have something similar in your city. For text books, look online on bulletin boards, and mailing lists and price compare on websites like addall.com. 

Price check before buying anything expensive

For other items that are expensive, do a price check before buying the item. If you can wait for a while, you can track the prices and grab a great deal when it comes along.

Frequently available online coupons make it even more easy to save some money. This is especially true while purchasing any electronics. 

Avoid impulse buying

Make it a habit to avoid impulse buying. Many of the things you want to buy do not seem all that necessary, if you only you wait for a day or two. Also, waiting means you will be able to check prices and make an informed decision to buy it at the best possible price. 

Bottle your own water

Drinking water is good for your health. I always make it a habit to keep some at my desk at all times. Bottled water is the most convenient since it can provide protection against accidental spills. That said, buy bottled water only once in a while and then reuse that bottle to fill your own water. If you are not happy with tap water, invest in a Brita Filter – in the long run it can save a lot of money. 

Avoid the vending machines

Almost everything that is dispensed via vending machines has a huge markup (and is rarely healthy). However, if you suffer from snack attacks at work, consider creating a secret stash of snacks.

If you like drinking soda and have a fridge at the workplace, save a refrigerator pack in the fridge with a post-it with your name on it. If you have a long commute, consider a stash for the car as well and avoid a quick drive-thru visit. 

Keep your car as long as possible

When possible, try to keep your car as long as possible. Find the balance between the money spent on repairs versus the monthly installment on another vehicle. Choose to run your old car as long as the repair costs are low. 

Do regular scheduled maintenance on your vehicles

Do not skimp on or forget to do regular oil changes. Remember to check the air in your tires often. Use the grade of fuel that the owner’s manual recommends. These small acts can significantly lengthen the life of your car, giving you years of use. 

Avoid buying a new car

When you eventually buy a car, see if you can make do with a pre-owned vehicle. A new car depreciates significantly the moment you drive it out the dealership.

Is the new car small really worth thousands of dollars?

Pre-owned cars that are only a few years old with low mileage are the best bargains. Regardless of the purchase, learn to negotiate with car dealers. 

Ride your bike or carpool whenever possible

In many of the cities in the US, it is hard to get by without a car. That said, just because you have a car does not mean you have to use it every day. Whenever possible, ride your bike or share a ride with a colleague or spouse and save both on gas and reduce the environmental footprint. 

If you watch a lot of DVDs, get an online DVD store membership

Membership to online movie stores like Netflix or Blockbuster Online can save you a lot of money compared to buying DVDs or renting it from a local store. You need to wait once you order the movie, but if you watch a lot of movies at home, then you can easily get into the habit of ordering ahead of time so you always have something at home.

If you are patient and your library has the resources, check to see if they have a movie section. You won’t get anything very new, but they are free. 

If you like watching movies at the theater, go before 6:00 pm

This is one of our soft spots when it comes to spending. We really like watching movies in the theater with the big screen and the great sound effects. But instead of paying $10 a pop for the ticket, we usually go before 6:00 pm when the tickets are a little less expensive.

Also, for movies that we don’t absolutely want to watch right away, we just wait until it screens on the discount theater where the tickets are $2 a pop. We avoid the temptation to buy snacks by usually going for a theater some time soon after our lunch. Sometimes, we sneak in our own snacks.

Regulate your electric use

When not in use, unplug electric appliances. Apparently, unplugging the TV instead of just switching it off can save a lot of electricity!

When not in a room, switch off the lights and the fan. Use a programmable thermostat to control your A/C and heater usage. If that’s too much, at least know what each appliance uses and unplug a few of them. 

Plan vacations ahead of time

Vacations are a necessary part of saving our sanity in the busy lives that we lead. But vacations are also a huge drain on the family finances.

You can cut the cost of a vacation significantly by planning and booking ahead of time. Bookmark travel sites for finding inexpensive airfare and hotel. Book at least two weeks in advance. 

See Also: How to Make The Most of Your Vacation

Finally, keep distance from lavish, high-roller friends

If you have lavish friends who buy a new car every other year (or worse still, lease it), have large screen TVs and every other conceivable electronics gadget, eat out at fancy restaurants every other night and just live way beyond their means, keep the distance.

They may be nice people and mean you no harm, but hanging out with such people can often lead to a lot of unnecessary desires and discontent. What’s more important – your friends or your peace of mind?

Whoa, that article ended up being a lot longer than I anticipated. Hopefully, I haven’t put you to sleep! Despite the length though, it barely scratches the surface when it comes to ways to save money. Make it a sub-conscious habit to save money in things that you do every day, even if it is a few dollars. All that money saved can add up significantly and you can save it or spend it on things that really matter!

NOTE: I am not saying that you should follow *all* these tips. Trying to be too frugal can make both you and the people around you very miserable. So, pick out a few tips at a time that will work for you and make them a habit, before deciding if you can incorporate more money saving habits in your daily routine. Written by Sam Baker of GradMoneyMatters.com – a site dedicated to providing students a choice of money making ideas so they can say no to debt.

The post 30 Easy Ways to Save Money You Probably Aren’t Doing Yet appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

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