#and also thinking about my debates with a friend about miranda in mass effect

[anghraine]

There's something percolating in my head about how sometimes the scenarios and characters we relate to the most are the ones that don't explicitly identify what they're doing in the terms of how we relate to them. Sometimes there are even specific indications that it's not that thing and yet we can still find it there and find it powerful. Sometimes that can feel more affecting and intense than the better representation out there (and not necessarily just better in a purity culture sense).

And I do think it's important not to give credit where it's not actually due, and not to insist on this kind of stuff as a replacement for actual representation. But I also think it's important to ... idk, allow space for the fuzzier depictions that speak really powerfully to some of us.

(I know this is vague! As I said, it's percolating.)

[pub-lius]

A Debunking and, in my Humble Opinion, Superior Version of Weird History’s “Hardcore Facts About Alexander Hamilton”

I haven’t updated my blog in quite some time, and that is due to my schedule being primarily dominated by school. So, I decided my first step into posting semi-regularly once more shall be a more casual, more fun endeavor. 

If you have not heard of the Weird History youtube channel, good for you. It is yet another social media platform that misconstrues history to appeal to the public’s enjoyment of extremes and strangeness. I saw The Historical Fashion Queens make a video responding to their highly misinformed documentary on corsetry on Miss Abby Cox’s youtube channel, which I highly recommend. This intrigued me, and I decided to find a video I could dissect off my expertise, at first only for fun in my own time. This resulted in the production in a very long bullet list in the notes app of my phone. So here is my informal destruction of this godforsaken video.

Disclaimer: I am not at all excusing any of the awful things Alexander Hamilton did during his lifetime. I am absolutely the last person who would even come near to claiming that many of the things he did were justifiable in the slightest. Although, he might be the only historical figure which I have a very strong interest in the life of, as he was incredibly complex, and the part of me with a love of psychology finds him absolutely fascinating. There is also something to be said about the way we consider moral standards of historical figures. We are quite lucky to believe in the time that we do, and not all of our standards can apply to historical figures. This does not mean they should not be held accountable. I find that a way to criticize people while also praising them where it is due is by judging them based upon their intentions. In my opinion, Hamilton’s intentions were not to harm anyone in most situations, so I don’t think he was a terrible person, nor do I think he was a particularly good one. Then again, I don’t think either of those things about a mass majority of people, so let us proceed without further delay. (Note: I will also be referring to the collective Weird History channel as the Narrator to avoid any mental gymnastics, and all of my knowledge is coming from my memory of Hamilton’s writing and some biographies.)

Automatically, the video starts with mention of the musical, but that just reminds me that many use Ron Chernow’s biography of Hamilton as a basis of their statements about him without utilizing much critical thinking, so I am slightly nervous. 

The Narrator then refers to Hammy Ham man as “...one of America’s most undervalued founding fathers...” Now, it is debatable whether or not Mr. Hamilton is undervalued per se, but when it comes to the founding fathers, they are usually undervalued or overvalued. At this point, Hamilton is both.

I shall not subscribe, thank you for the offer though, Mr. Narrator.

Now for the first fact: “Historians don’t know when Hamilton was born.” Yes, this is correct, but I don’t believe this should be labeled as “hardcore”, but perhaps that is just me. One early document indicates that Hamilton was born in 1755, while all later ones point to 1757 as his year of birth. We know Hamilton was not always a completely honest man, so it is possible that he lied.

Also, they show an image of a baby, and I do not know if this is actually Hamilton, but they use a lot of strange imagery, which I found humorous.

“A self-made man born out of wedlock.” Now, this fact could indeed be “hardcore”, if this was not colonial America we are discussing. Hamilton actually wasn’t really special in this regard. Yes, his rise to fame was impressive considering his circumstances, but this wasn’t unheard of.

The Narrator then says that Hamilton’s mother, Rachel Faucette, was “estranged from her husband.” This caused me some confusion as it is a vast understatement. Her ex-husband was absolutely awful to her. 

Additionally, they claim that James Hamilton left his family behind for some reason that I did not write in my notes, but the most likely reason that he actually left was because of his awesome debt. James Hamilton also had a history of ambitious pursuits for money, so it would not be extreme to claim that he moved to another island to attempt to make a fortune in some trading endeavor.

They also cease to mention the Stevens family, who housed young Alexander while he was working for Beekman and Cruger, and had a great influence on him, but I digress.

“A college dropout who joined the Revolution.” Once again, this isn’t special. Many rowdy young Whigs left behind their careers and educations for pursuit of military fame in the Continental Army. They also do not mention anything of Hamilton’s expansive military career, which aside from being indicative of primitive research, but would produce more “hardcore facts.”

Although, they do discuss his application to Princeton college, which is interesting enough I suppose, although everyone who has heard the first two songs of the musical knows this story. His proposal for an “accelerated course of study” was likely inspired by Aaron Burr, as claimed by Chernow and Miranda, or James Madison, as supported by evidence provided by author Noah Feldman in his novel, The Three Lives of James Madison, which is an excellent read. Young Madison, having already completed a course, decided to do so again, but compacting a usually three year course into a shorter period of time. He hardly slept during this period, which was stressful upon his health, making Princeton more disinclined to allow a similar course to be taken.

The Narrator then claims that Hamilton “formed his own militia of 25 men.” Technically, yes? But not exactly. Hamilton joined a paramilitary group called the Hearts of Oak, and they drilled in Trinity Churchyard. This became ironic later. He then became a captain in the New York Artillery Company, and enlisted his own men, which was at one time around thirty or so, if my memory serves me correctly.

“Founded a bank that existed for over two centuries.” Ah, yes, a very hardcore fact indeed. Yes, Hamilton did establish the Bank of America, but Robert Morris was the one who inspired him to do so. Though, I do think the financial plan is a product of his own genius, but I will get into that much later.

I got an ad. :(

The Narrator also says that the misfortunes done to the New York shipping industry by the Articles of Confederation were the most prominent, if not sole, motivation for Hamilton to concoct his financial plan. He first recognized the need for a sound financial plan when he was in the army. You know, when he was watching men die of inadequate supplies because the government couldn’t tax the states.

This video, like Chernow’s biography and Miranda’s musical, claims that Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr were friends when, in actuality, they weren’t really. Yes, they knew each other, and they didn’t hate each other until the end of Hamilton’s life, but they really didn’t think about each other much before the Election of 1800.

“Hamilton authored over half of the Federalist Papers.” Indeed, he did! I enjoy this fact. It isn’t very “hardcore” but it is very impressive. The Federalist Papers were arguably Hamilton’s greatest accomplishment, as he organized the entire thing and, as previously stated, authored much of them. I very much enjoy the Federalist Papers, as they give some insight as to Hamilton’s political and philosophical theories, as well as how he thought of the world. It makes for an interesting read if you have something you’re looking for.

Now, this may be a hot take, but Madison’s essays are by far more effective, as they were better organized. Hamilton and I share a common flaw, and that is the lack of brevity. 

“Involved in America’s first sex scandal.” Yes, we all know. I’ll get into the Reynold’s affair later because it’s its own beast to conquer. Basically what you need to understand information I shall provide later in this post is that James Reynolds extorted money from Hamilton, and if Hamilton failed to pay, Reynolds would expose the affair Hamilton was having with his wife, Maria. Hamilton paid, but when Reynolds was arrested for something else, he exposed Hamilton anyway.

“He worked with Aaron Burr to defend a man.” Once again, this isn’t very surprising. They were both capable lawyers in the same area, so it was basically inevitable. Though there was this one instance where Hamilton and Burr were working on a case together and Hamilton, being himself, insisted upon having the last word. Well, Burr was tired of him, and I can’t say I blame him, so he made every possible argument in his finishing speech, leaving Hamilton with virtually nothing. 

The Narrator also mentions Hamilton’s opposition to slavery, but he didn’t really outwardly oppose it as much as you would think listening to the musical or reading Chernow’s biography. Far from being the “fervent abolitionist” Chernow and Miranda glorify, Hamilton didn’t really do much for the enslaved. He helped John Laurens in his Black Plan and joined the Manumission Society, but other than that, he never made any attempt to progress the abolition of slavery. He also “purchased” slaves for his in-laws, and some argue that he “owned” some himself, but there is no contemporary evidence to support this that I have seen. The enslaved and servants that were in his household likely belonged to his wife.

“Founded a newspaper that still exists.” Ok.

“Died by duel.” I swear, this fact is by far the most unnecessary. They mention the duel so many times that it is already redundant. I completely skipped over this part, and the video ended, so I was thoroughly underwhelmed.

Well, seeing as this post is already longer than my attention span, I shall save you the pains of having to read any more in just one post. I shall make a follow-up to this where I give my own facts, which I believe are far more hardcore than “he founded a newspaper.” I hope you have enjoyed and this isn’t too terribly boring. I hope to get back to posting soon.

[mrs-pissoff]

Your eyes (Reader x Thane)

(the title is pretty much a placeholder because I have no idea what else to call this lmao) 3rd person POV, Reader is referred to as she/her

A/N: So first of all, I usually don't know what the unholy crap I'm doing when it comes to writing. I'm also not a native English speaker. There may be a part 2 coming but I can't promise cuz once I do promise something it's surely not going to happen, ever. Nonetheless, please enjoy.

Introduction: You're whoever you are, and you've joined Shepard's crew aboard the SR-2 to stop the Collectors. You've become something of a close friend to Commander Shepard and may have caught spicy spicy feelings for them. Unfortunately for you, Shepard has eyes for a certain turian vigilante, but hey, this story isn't about them. It's about you and our favorite assassin.

Disclaimer: Mass Effect and its characters belong to Bioware.

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An unusual stillness fell over the empty kitchen of the SR-2. The crew were all tucked away in their chambers, resting or talking about the day’s events. Even the lights of the Med Bay were dimmed, indicating that not even Dr. Chakwas was at her station.

She was glad no one could see her in such a state. Puffy eyes, hair and clothes in complete disarray. A mess, really. She didn’t need the looks of pity or the unnecessary and painful question ‘What’s wrong?’. No. She only needed a glass of cold water and some time. Some time to sort things out. Alone. That part was easy at least, since she thought no one knew how she felt. She kept it hidden, locked away. Out of sight, out of mind. Except when the feelings would resurface violently and erupt like a volcano. Like right now.

Head bowed and quietly sobbing into the sink, both hands resting beside the edges of it, she doesn't hear the silent footsteps approaching her. Too preoccupied with her spiraling thoughts of Shepard and her own confusing feelings. The footsteps of the cautiously approaching Thane Krios cease, as he stands frozen in place. The woman before him is the one that judged him for all his wrongdoings the day he stopped his son from stepping on the path of sin. Her once fiery gaze was now drowned in tears, head hung low and heavy with sorrow.

She's been feeling on edge lately, making careful but not very covert snide remarks to Garrus Vakarian and politely pushing away everyone who questioned her sour mood. She only smiled when Shepard asked, the storm clouds hanging over her head evaporating at the sight of the Commander as her face relaxed. And with a beaming gaze and the hint of a smile, she'd tell Shepard how everything was fine and she just needed some rest. That a nap would fix her up. A white lie to avoid worrying the Commander. He saw how her eyes lost their spark and how her legs would carry her around the ship without purpose. Only in battle she seemed alive. A raging whirlwind sweeping through enemies. A most unsettling change in behavior. He knew the reason behind it all.

Suddenly becoming painfully aware of his presence, her head shot up and a startled gasp left her lips. She pushed herself away from the sink in a swift motion and turned her gaze away from him, wiping the tears from her face. Desperately trying to make it seem like they weren't there to begin with.

"Damn, you're quiet. You should make more noise or you’ll give someone a heart attack."

Her tone had a slight bite to it and an uncertain shake she tried to mask. He could still hear it though. This was a moment of weakness she wished no one would witness. Much less him. He knew what she thought about him. She called him a gutless coward and a poor excuse of a father while still wishing him success to save his son, though not for his own sake, but simply because Kolyat deserved better. He had to agree with her, he told himself all of these things and more. It was nothing new. And yet, hearing someone else utter those words aloud cut even deeper. The look she gave him that day sent a jolt of shock down his spine. Her eyes filled with scorching ire, blame and so, so many questions. He felt small even if he was standing taller than her. Even though her mind seemed occupied and uncertain at the moment, he could still sense that she'd have preferred anyone but him finding her like this.

"Are you feeling unwell?"

Of course she did, he thought, but the words left his mouth before he could rephrase the question.

"No."

Her reply came almost too quickly as she washed her tear-stained hands and turned around, ready to leave without drying them. He knew she carried a great many burdens, and not all of them her own. She was much like him, and didn't leave her room frequently to socialize with others, but he knew that Shepard visited her just like the rest of them. Shepard always made sure to check on everyone, to talk to them and ease their solitude, but sometimes people forgot to do the same for the Commander. She didn't. She told him and Vakarian that Shepard had a tendency to hold onto everything, and rather than adding to Shepard's emotional cargo further, she preferred to ask and listen to everything the Commander had to say. No doubt a roundabout way of telling the two to do the same every once in a while. He wondered whether she herself shared her thoughts with anyone.

"If you need someone to talk to-" but he couldn't finish. She looked back at him and began speaking quietly, her tone now withdrawn and empty. 

"Perhaps you should focus your energy on your son to make things right, and mind your own business. I'll do the same as well." Ah, he knew she'd push away, but he still had to ask. He wished she'd at least talk to Shepard, but knew that she won't.

"Sometimes strength isn't about holding our emotions at bay, but sharing our weakness with others, however difficult it may be." His words seemed to catch her attention as she raised one eyebrow at him questioningly.

"True, but I don't see why you would bother."

Her statement was expected. They weren't on the friendliest terms after all. Of course there was no ongoing animosity between them, she simply voiced her opinion of him and they never talked about it anymore. Few words were exchanged between them even before Kolyat's attempt at assassination - aside from the usual pleasantries that is - , even less afterwards. He was aware of her presence and they passed each other aboard the Normandy more than once, but neither spared as much as a second glance. Both too lost in their own thoughts to notice the other. That was until he was caught in her eyes like a trapped varren, desperate to escape. He felt as if he was standing underneath a spotlight, all of his shame on display for everyone to see. It was then and there, where he truly saw her for the first time and began paying more attention to her unconsciously.

On rare occasions when she was having her meals at the same time he was, he'd find himself observing her closely, listening to her talking with others. He'd seen the pang of jealousy in her eyes as Garrus recalled all the time he spent with Shepard years ago and when he would ask specific things about human relationships once he and the Commander became closer. She would deflect his clumsy questions half-heartedly and leave shortly after, her initial friendly disposition towards the turian dissipated and a polite tolerance took its place. Garrus was none the wiser to see this change, such nuance seemed to be lost on him. Perhaps that was for the better. She couldn't blame either of them for falling for each other. Garrus has been there for Shepard for far longer than her.

During shuttle rides Thane could see how she tried to be casual and disciplined while Shepard spoke, careful to contain herself and not let anything slip even if her eyes had a playful and longing glint to them.

He came to adore those eyes. They told him everything she was hiding so carefully. The eyes truly were a window to the soul.

Sometimes he was also lucky enough to catch her in a conversation where she voiced her point of view on certain things, mostly concerning Cerberus whom she did not trust in the slightest. A sentiment many other squadmates shared. Surprisingly, she didn't let her negative opinion extend to Miranda and Jacob, or the rest of the crew wearing Cerberus colors. Short and reserved debates between them were apparently not uncommon. On her better days he could even hear her joking about with Zaeed and Jack. A wide and playful smile spreading on her face with every witty little comment she shared with them.

He's never realized just how aware of her he was until now. He wanted to let her know, but-

"You intrigue me."

The words escaped him once more.

His body tensed as he watched her carefully. Her eyes found the floor as a thoughtful expression crossed her face. She seemed unsure and deep in thought, and he began to wonder whether it was a mistake to speak his mind. A few agonizing seconds later she met his eyes again seemingly ready to respond, but deciding against it in the end. She gave him one last incredulous look before turning around and heading for the elevator without a word, leaving him in the dimly lit kitchen.

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So, here. I hope it was enjoyable? I honestly don’t know how to write Thane so he may be severly OOC. Hopefully not.

It’s just that I’ve been adding more dialogues to the custom Thane follower I have in Skyrim and I got inspired so I was like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ whatever, I’ll post it.

And I already have another scenario running in my head. A possible continuation to this, but this thing took me the better half of today to write. We’ll see. Feel free to let me know what you think.

[ameliasnormandy]

Shepard’s Crew in Andromeda

OK. No one has asked for this, or at least I don’t think anyone has asked for this. I haven’t been on Tumblr since I tried the new thing, and by new thing I mean actually posting my ideas on Tumblr, and that might be a thing I do every now and then. If I feel like it. That is how it is most of the time. If I feel like it. There really isn’t anything else to that. No one cares about my ramblings, so I can do what I want with this, when I want to. If people start taking an interest I may take it more seriously, though I doubt it. I don’t take anything too seriously. Life can get kind of boring if you do that. So, I’m just going to let it slide.

On to the real topic of the day. The real topic is the team that I would see going with Shepard to Andromeda, because I don’t see everyone going with them.

I just want to take off for a moment about the dead ones. The ones that basically no matter what happens they die. I guess there is only one of those. Thane. No matter what happens he dies. Which is very sad, because I liked him as a character. Now the others can live in certain circumstances. I want to point out one thing I have been having issues with, I don’t have the DLC for Mass Effect 2, so I can’t talk about the two people that you get in that game. I will come back to that game and those characters when I can get them, and spend time playing though that game.

So, let’s start with Urdnot Wrex. He is pretty easy for this decision. He wouldn’t go, because he has too much to lose. If he survived of course. He might not have even survived. There are so many ways to kill him, but if you went through everything and found a way to save him than he deserves the chance to live with his people, and he would make that choice. He would decide to stay with his people. They need him, more than Shepard does. So, for that reason Urdnot Wrex would be staying in the Milky Way system.

Next? Mordin. He should be the next one we talk about. I am talking about him next because of the death thing, though I guess all the characters could have death things. He is one of the major ones though. It takes a lot not to kill him. I have never been able to do it. Something you should probably know about me now is that I am a paragon player through and through. I have never been anything else, and I don’t know why I try to argue with people when they tell me that is what I am. So, I personally, have never had the heart to let Mordin live, not that that gives me much heart, because it hurts watching him die every time. The point is there is a tiny chance that he lives. The question is would he leave with Shepard. The answer to that question is no. He would feel like he has to fix the Genophage. It had to be me, someone else might have gotten it wrong. I think that is what he would still think. He has a strong moral compass, and one that he refuses to leave behind him.

Jack next. No. I don’t think that she would go with Shepard. No, matter if Shepard is in a relationship with her or not. I don’t think she would go. She found home. She found what she loves, helping Biotic kids learn, and leaving them forever would be impossible for her. She would never forgive herself if she wasn’t there to help those kids rebuild.

I have debated about Miranda. Some part of me wants to say no. She wouldn’t leave her sister. She loves her sister too much to leave her. Another part of me wants to say yes. She has done it all. She has worked with everyone, but she finds that she works best with Shepard. For this reason, I could believe that she would go with Shepard. I think she is one that we would have to debate for a while about whether she would go or not.

Jacob wouldn’t, unless something terrible would happen to his family. It would be interesting to see that part of the world built. What happened to Jacob’s family that he turned cold again? What happened to his kid? His wife? All questions that would have interesting answers and more questions to come. But the truth is that the only way that it makes sense is if something happened to the family, because Jacob wouldn’t leave his family behind like his father did to him.

The next one is Kaidan. Kaidan is a probably. I think that Kaidan would go with Shepard. He has a lot to prove. He has done a lot of things that he isn’t proud of, and I think this would be a good way for him to prove himself. To prove that he can handle himself. Find where he truly belongs. Yes, I could see that some of you think of him like Jack, but I don’t think that he had the connection to his people that Jack has to hers. I think that he would be more willing to go, and I think it would be a chance for him to start over.

Now, I have to be honest, I never saved Ash. I always thought about it. I just think it’s a catch 22 for me. I am not a huge fan of Ashley, not that I am the biggest fan of Kaidan either. Neither of them are just in my top ten favorite characters, but actually giving a top ten for characters is something that might never happen, and even if it does it will take a lot longer for me to get the energy to write that. For now stick to this. I am going to have to say that if Kaidan went Ash would have to go instead of him. You know because the choice changes who is there, and if Kaidan is dead, but would have gone, then Ashley has to be the one to replace him. Even though I don’t know if she would have gotten because of her family.

We are doing Grunt next. I think that Grunt should be the next one up. His answer is yes. I know in the third game he was fitting in with the Krogan well, but I think it would be interesting to see Grunt interact with the other Krogans, the ones that made it to Andromeda. That is really my only reason for seeing Grunt go.

Let’s do Vega next. James Vega. I think he would go with Shepard. He became an N7 while Shepard was getting repaired, but then didn’t know what to do with it. When Shepard came back he had purpose again. So he, would go to keep his purpose.

Now, on to Garrius. He is another easy one. He would go. He would clearly go. Shepard helped him find his true purpose and without them he is lost. That is stated, so I think the best thing to do is take Garrius with Shepard.

Tali is a bit more complicated. I want to say that she would go, but I think her people would come first. She would have to have a Quarian reason to go there, to go with Shepard. I know Tali has connected with Shepard and there are times that I think she would go, there is also the probability that she would feel too much responsibility to her people. So, honestly I think Tali would be a tossup. It could go either way for her.

Samara wouldn’t go. She had spent so much time not seeing her daughter and then to have to kill one of her daughters and the other to die because of the reapers, keeping in touch with this last daughter would be too important for her to leave behind. She is staying in the Milky Way one of the few characters that I can be completely sure of.

Liara T’soni next. I think that she should be next. It makes sense for her to be next. I think, and sense I am the one writing this I get to decide that fact. Liara is one of the ones I am not sure about. She could get a chance to go out explore something unseen, to put her anthropology skills to the test. She would want to learn about a whole new world. Talk to the man that she consulted with. So, I could see her going with Shepard. Also, she is great friends with Shepard. At the same time there are a lot of reasons that she might not want to leave her new position. She might not want to. I think in a way she likes it. She likes her new position. She likes being the shadow broker. She likes being able to help people because she is the shadow broker, so I think the game could go either way for her.

Javik. I think he would go. You know if he didn’t kill himself. I think that that a new galaxy would be a great way for him to help his people, make sure that what happened to his people never happens again. I could see him going with Shepard. I could really see him going with Shepard if Liara went too. That would be more impressive to see.

EDI I think is the last of the squad characters that I need to talk about. If she is alive, then there is no Shepard. I think that I will talk about what happens if there is no Shepard in another writing, but it is as simple as that. I just want to point out that EDI would go with the other person though, because Joker would.

I think that the next person that should be talked about is… Joker. Joker would go in a heartbeat. The best and most important thing that Joker feels that he has done with his life was be part of Shepard’s crew so he would go, even if he is just remembering them.

I think that Doctor Chakwas would she has been part of every crew and she is one of the only people that completely understands Shepard.

I don’t think that Traynor would. I think she would work on developing a communication system that would be able to communicate with the people that went in the future for others to talk to them, but I don’t think that she would personally go with them.

I think that is all the important people. If there is someone that I am missing I am sure that someone will tell me. I am entering a very dangerous place and I know that if this ever gets traction all my errors will be shone and shunned.

 Amelia, Signing off.