#and aqua is very fucking good and deserves better idk if i can fit all my thots on aqua into one cohesive post

[happyendingsong]

i finally finished bbs last night! apart from the secret episode/endings bc i didnt fuckin know you had to 100% the game on standard to get them skldfjdkkjh ANYWAY here’s some notes on ventus bc i ran out of steam to discuss the rest of the game haha, i might do terra and aqua posts later

i think bbs might be the tightest game in kh in terms of story, either this or days. everything is very cohesive, everyone’s arcs are very clear and defined. maybe that’s why i feel more critical of the things they get wrong when plenty of kh games haven’t tried going for this much narrative cohesion? but i also LOVE a ton of shit in bbs, so even with the shit i don’t like it’s really fun to engage with the whole piece critically, haha.

smth i never caught before was xehanort telling vanitas “go take what ventus owes you.” this really suggests that xehanort has been directing vanitas’ rage towards ven all this time, abusing him for years and telling him it’s ven’s fault, ven STOLE vanitas’ light and he has to get strong enough to take it back by force.

but all throughout this game vanitas has been demanding that ven join with him and together they’ll form the x-blade. not to get too vanven agenda on it but during the final ven/vanitas boss fight, vanitas’ battle quotes start sounding like marital vows: “what’s yours is mine!”, “join now with your better half.” there’s such an interesting contrast there where xehanort has clearly been training vanitas to take his rage out on ventus to try to protect himself from vanitas turning on him, but vanitas doesn’t seem to have internalised that at all.

like clearly he doesn’t fucking like ventus either lmao, and i think the novels say that vanitas inherited all of ven’s self hatred so he does actively hate ventus. but there’s such a severe leap from how xehanort has explained their relationship (ven stole vanitas’ light/wholeness) and how vanitas feels about it (ven and vanitas must join together to be whole). so maybe it’s that vanitas doesn’t see himself as a whole person, he knows he’s incomplete and empty and he’s reaching out for the only thing he thinks can fix it.

like does vanitas even want the x-blade?? does he fuckin get anything out of it?? is it literally just that he was born half and wrong and this is the only clue he has towards making himself whole? like the DRAMA, the DESPERATION, god the boys are so fucked up.

also that boss fight is my favourite fuckin fight in the game, like seeing vanitas and ventus together on the station of awakening oh my goddddddd. and they SHATTER the station, the final stage of the fight fought around the stained glass fragments in their self destruction, they’ll never be whole. and the d-link oh my FUCKING god!!!!!!!!! literally fucking gasped like we LOVE storytelling through video gameplay mechanics!!!!!!!!!!! like the meta narrative of corrupting this gameplay mechanic where you team up with your friends throughout your adventure, and now vanitas has forced his way in and you’re working TOGETHER to defeat him!!!!!!! hand in unloveable hand oh my god. it’s the most in sync ven and vanitas ever get and it’s as they’re destroying each other. and ven’s theme bleeding into the boss fight music because you the player and ven himself know that you’re killing him in this fight as well. it’s so fucking good, it’s SO fucking GOOD. might be my favourite boss fight in all of kh like the fucking LEVELS, this is so professional. maybe tetsuya nomura knows how to make a video game after all.

it’s really fucking annoying that im also rereading homestuck at the moment and babes like. kh and homestuck are unfortunately very similar, as a society we just have to come to terms with that. like ven’s arc is really reminding me of john’s, sleepy bitch disease solidarity.

anyway ventus embodies the birth by sleep theming most literally, in that he’s actually physically asleep in the end waiting for his birth by sleep and for sora to pick up all the pieces. so his narrative arc starts with him leaving home for the first time, and there’s that question the whole time of if he’s ready to leave and learn about the world, learn about his own past. ven never had a chance to ask that question himself, it was already decided by the adults in his life. he wakes up in a self discovery sense when he’s made to remember xehanort tearing him apart, and this awakening causes him physical pain like he’s screaming in agony.

so ventus has his adventure, leaving the nest for the first time and facing real dangers, and he can’t unknow this knowledge he now has. he has to fully acknowledge his mortality and ask his friends to kill him rather than allow the x-blade to be forged. he’s going on this identity quest, embracing his agency to try to save his friends, learns about these terrible truths in his past finally. just as soon as he’s learning how to be an independent person, he has to face this literal objectification where his only use is as part of a weapon. this was always his fate and he never actually had a choice, he’s been pulled along by xehanort this whole time.

the last choice he has, the only choice he can make, is to destroy himself to stop the x-blade coming together. and by the end of the game he’s an object again, this lifeless husk hidden away in castle oblivion waiting for other people to put his pieces back together again. he’s left where he started: asleep.

i forgot all the times they directly allude to ven being like a fairytale princess falling asleep. like i remembered that theme but i forgot the DIRECT visual parallels between him and snow white and aurora, it’s so sweet,,,,, i luv how intentional it is lmao, sometimes kh knows what it’s doing. so ventus falling asleep again would imply his personal development isn’t finished yet, he’s not ready for that transition into adulthood.

actually this is my tumblr post so i’m gonna dig up my thesis notes on classic disney and lesbians from last year, you are legally obliged to bear with me.

"In major life changes such as adolescence, for successful growth opportunities both active and quiescent periods are needed. The turning inward, which in outer appearance looks like passivity (or sleeping one's life away), happens when internal mental processes of such importance go on within the person that he has no energy for outwardly directed action. Those fairy tales which, like "The Sleeping Beauty," have the period of passivity for their central topic, permit the budding adolescent not to worry during his inactive period: he learns that things continue to evolve. The happy ending assures the child that he will not remain permanently stuck in seemingly doing nothing, even if at the moment it seems as if this period of quietude will last for a hundred years." (p.225)

Bettelheim, Bruno, 1991. The uses of enchantment: the meaning and importance of fairy tales. 3rd ed. London: Penguin Books.

this book is really interesting actually, but i think bettelheim got in trouble bc he cites his child psychiatry clients throughout the book when it turned out he didn’t have any psychiatry qualifications and never had any clients LMAO? mad bitch. he goes off the rails in parts but there’s a lot of inchresting stuff in it anyway.

ANYWAY. using fairytale signifiers, i think ven’s sleep might be a bit more hopeful than i originally thought? like the game is still a tragedy, it’s a tragic outcome. but ven is after destroying himself in his quest of learning how to be a whole ass individual, so it’s gonna take some time to recuperate from that destruction of the self again. he isn’t dead, after all; he’s asleep. he can be woken up.

there’s a lot to mull over with kh3 linking sleep and death so closely, but i’d say it’s like sleep represents a death of a sense of self and taking time to heal. we see it with sora and roxas too. and the way to reestablish a sense of self and wake up is through fwiendship :) in kh, friends carry pieces of each other in their hearts and their memories. so when someone falters and loses themselves, they can be brought back through their friends believing in them and reminding them who they are.

in any other story i’d worry that ven having to rely on another heart to fix his own after having this whole half-a-person identity crisis for a game bears some ill omens, but in kh your identity really is made of your bonds with other people. you don’t exist outside all the others who came before and all the friends you made along the way. like IF you have an identity outside of your connections with other people it just doesn’t really matter, what matters is friendship bitch.

again going back to fairytale shit, eternal sleep is woken through true love’s kiss, and i think that’s true in kh as well. like kh3′s focus on acts of true love, whether it’s platonic or familial or what as long as it’s transcendental. everyone in this series loves each other very much! what a nice video game series!!

[elichorph]

𝗧𝗔𝗦𝗞 𝟬𝟬𝟮 ( 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗙𝗔𝗠𝗜𝗟𝗬 ) ↝ 𝗔𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗬 𝗝𝗘𝗢𝗡𝗚

pov: your name is avery jeong and you are being kicked out of your house and family at age 18 because your sister snitched about some drunk mistake you made 2 years ago 

as of right now, avery has no relationship with his parents and a minimal relationship with his sister, lilia. however, avery was always treated as the baby of the family. he was set to take over the drug ring when he got older and was given minimal information about it to shelter and protect him from anything that could potentially make his views on the family’s business turn sour. despite this, avery really had no plans to actually take over the business and was going to hand over the position to lilia once she became old enough even though he didn’t tell anyone about this. before avery got the chance to step up, lilia told their parents about how he had broken one of the main family rules by telling someone he’d just met at a party about what the jeong family really did behind the big pharm cover. their parents were absolutely livid and forced avery to move out and denounced him from the family.

refer to liza’s task for more family info idk we really just hate these parents so bad

𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗦

𝗠𝗢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥 ↝ iris jeong

our least favorite capricorn sun gemini moon out there! god this woman is the worst! song seonmi fc, this woman is LETHAL. iris’ side of the family were the ones who started the drug ring so miss thing was seriously into it. it was her life, she grew up with it, and she took it so seriously that anyone could tell. she had extremely high expectations for avery to take over too and had originally planned to school him on family law and how the business worked as soon as he could walk, but eventually ended up babying him when it came to preparing to the position thank to her arranged husband’s influence. iris kind of let avery do his own thing growing up, made sure he was on top of his grades and was the one who suggested that he go to a specialized school just to make sure that he was reaching his top brainiac potential to be smart enough to run the show. the little that avery knew about the drug ring came from iris too, but she would always here comes the choo choo train it into his brain so it wasn’t too much for him to take. she knew her son was smart and fit to take over, but she feared him not being able to do so which was frankly her own fault. honestly receiving any sort of care from iris is out of character she literally is scary as hell. their relationship? really didn’t have one. i guarantee if you asked either of them at any point in time to name one personal fact about the other, they wouldn’t be able to come up with one. they just worked as mom and son, stood respectfully at a yard’s distance and only interacted when they needed to for the sake of the family. however, they Really interacted after lilia snitched on avery. iris was the one who came up with the idea to kick avery out and was so assured in her idea that she didn’t rest until he was out of the house and never came back that night. even though they have had no contact in the five years since avery was forced to leave, iris continues to blame every single family issues that arises on avery even if he has nothing to do with it. avery holds so much resentment for iris that it frankly makes him sick!!!!!!!!! and while he might be able to forgive lilia and his father, iris will never be on the docket. 

𝗙𝗔𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥 ↝ tobias jeong

tobs ... the tobster ... aqua sun cancer moon brain rot. this man fixed up an old jeep and made it his entire personality. ya’ll ever had one of those science teachers that couldn’t spell and always lost their glasses when they were really on their head? yeah that’s him. also a certified doormat. and maybe a kim joohun fc but like give him more bill nye wannabe looking vibes. avery and his father had a good relationship for the most part. tobias was really chill, understood maybe 1/3 of what happened in the family. he tried to stand up for avery and lilia in certain situations and understood that iris was absolute trash (even he didn’t truly want to marry her, it was more business between their families than anything), but he was so compliant that he never actually made an impact. however, tobias was the one that truly made avery’s childhood ... good. he’d pick up avery from school in that old jeep he fixed up, play some classic dad music, and drive around for a while so they didn’t have to go see iris so soon. the night avery got kicked out, tobias was the one that actually stuck up for avery. even though it was one simple statement that maybe avery should stay, it was the only time anyone stood up for avery that night. of course, tobias was quickly shut down by iris and he didn’t try to have avery stay after that however he probably feels so much regret for not doing more that night. avery truly was so angry that tobias didn’t try to do more to get him to stay, but like it’s whatever! what the fuck was tobias supposed to do! a few months after avery was kicked out, he actually called his dad at a super low point ( see this gif set ) but even then tobias wasn’t willing to fight for avery to try to come back even after hearing at how he had nothing and didn’t know what to do. avery never truly hated his dad, but he now resents him for not trying when there is so much more he could have done.

𝗦𝗜𝗕𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦

𝗦𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥 ↝ lilia jeong

if there was one member of the jeong family that avery truly loved, it was lilia. avery loved being her big brother. he cared for her more than anybody in his life and truly thought she was capable of so many good things which is why he never had any intentions to take over the drug ring. avery had always wanted that position to go to her because he believed that lilia was the right one to take it because she easily could have done so much better than he could’ve. growing up, avery wasn’t that much of an open book as he is now. if he had a secret though, lilia was the first one to know. he basically told her everything, from explaining some project he’d been working while they walked through an apple orchard or the biggest mistake he’d made in his life which was spilling the family secret. the last thing he was expecting was for lilia to tell their family about that, especially after so long and in a manner that seemed almost self serving after she promised to keep it a secret. even though lilia's decision to snitch literally turned his life upside down and really fucked him over, he’s never been able to see lilia as anything besides his sister. sure, he’s felt true betrayal and never thought he would get screwed over like that, but avery is always one for second or third or fourth or fifth chances even in situations like this. no matter how hard avery wanted to convince himself that he didn’t want lilia in his life, he was never able to do it. lilia always stayed his emergency contact even when they weren’t speaking and no matter how many new people avery met that were closer to new haven hospitals. 

for now though, their shit is tbd! avery is too afraid to talk to lilia about everything because bringing up the past pains him and he’s also unsure of how things will work out. also, he’s most likely expecting an apology first and foremost. everyone knows they’re siblings, but the reason why they’re not close are all lies. they tell everyone that they grew apart and lilia began to tell others that avery fucked up a business deal and made the choice to leave the family which avery goes along with simply because he assumes it’s what lilia wants. sometimes he wished that they actually had just grown apart rather than having to experience all the shit that happened.

even if avery knows he’s already willing to give lilia another chance, he wants an apology and he knows he’s deserving of that at the very least. until then, you can catch avery gazing longingly into the windows of music shops at acoustic guitars that resemble the one he would always play on for lilia and had to leave behind after being kicked out. those same few songs are always stuck in his head. avery hasn’t been able to eat ripe peaches anymore because the taste reminds him of sticky handed food fights and hiding one in their parents’ closet to rot. one time he went on a date with a girl whose favorite band was the moldy peaches and he promptly left to throw up in the bathroom. every time he would enter the underground fighting ring he would try not to lose because that meant lilia might have to get the call that he wasn’t alright even though he wanted her to know if anything happened to him. 

[rahorak]

@anonymous:  what’s something you love about each of your ship partners? the muns and muses :)

Yoo  this  is  such  a  nice  little  ask!  I  love  to  gush  about  my  writing  partners  because  to  be  honest?  They  all  deserve  it,  if  anything  for  putting  up  with  my  kicking  in  their  door  with  headcanons  at  random  times  &  other  bs.  I’m  gonna  talk  about  them  all  in  order  of  exclusives  >  mains  >  other.  In  this  essay  I  will

DIANA  /  @moonaspect​​​.

Moon  is  such  a  darling.  We  talk  every  day  over  Discord  &  she’s  become  such  a  big  part  of  my  routine  at  this  point.  I  am  also  a  lonely  fucker  &  am  going  through  some  stuff  at  the  minute  &  she’s  a  great  help!  She’s  so  talented  as  well,  I  cannot  comprehend  how  she  does  what  she  does  with  a  canvas  but  here  we  are.  Thank  you  so  much  for  putting  up  with  my  bs.  I  could  go  on  &  on  but  just  know  that  Moon  has  a  very  special  place  in  my  heart.  She’s  such  a  valuable  friend  &  she  gives  me  a  reason  to  get  up  in  the  morning. . .  Or  afternoon,  depending.

As  for  Diana  she  does  a  wonderful  job  with  her.  She’s  written  her  for  as  long  as  I’ve  known  her  &  it  shows  ——  her  love  &  dedication  to  this  character  is  so  inspiring.  Her  Diana  is  exactly  what  you  would  expect  her  to  be,  &  especially  since  I’ve  seen  her  RP  her  for  so  long,  she  just  feels  canon  to  me.  You  can’t  have  Diana  without  angst  &  Moon  has  taken  this  to  the  next  level  at  times  but  as  a  fellow  angst  lover,  I  love  to  see  it.

✦   Favorite  things:  Moon’s  voice  &  Diana’s  resilience.

SORAKA  /  @starthieve​​.

Nix!  Oh  gosh  I  could  talk  about  Nix  for  hours  but  I’ll  try  to  keep  it  short  &  sweet.  We  also  go  way  back,  you  see.  Words  cannot  describe  how  much  I  love  this  woman,  as  we’ve  been  through  hell  &  back  together  &  even  to  this  day  she  continues  to  be  one  of  my  best  friends  who  always  has  my  back.  We  don’t  plot  as  much  as  we  used  to  but  I  honestly  miss  that  ——  I  miss  coming  up  with  stupid  scenarios  &  screenshotting  them  to  pester  the  rest  of  our  friends  with  for  eternity  afterwards.  We  need  to  make  more  doodles  together  too.  I  love  you  Nix,  let  there  never  be  a  doubt  in  your  mind  about  that.

Her  Soraka  is  honestly  a  big  mood.  She  is  so  loving  &  giving  &  I  always  just  imagine  Nix  &  Soraka  to  go  hand  in  hand  cause  they’re  both  such  empathetic  sweethearts.  I  will  never  shut  up  about  Nix’s  writing  &  how  beautiful  &  graceful  it  is  to  read.  Even  her  headcanon  posts  are  so  well  put  together  &  even  though  she  isn’t  posting  much  at  the  minute  I  love  to  see  her  pop  in  every  once  in  a  while  with  a  meta!

✦   Favorite  things:  Nix’s  &  Soraka’s  big  hearts.

ASHE  /  @arrowdeft​​.

Kirin  is  so  talented  my  heart  skips  a  beat  at  times  when  I  read  their  writing!  I  don’t  know  much  about  them  on  a  personal  level  other  than  they’ve  been  going  through  some  rough  times  lately  &  I  really  hope  that  my  small  contributions  to  the  ship  helps,  even  if  just  a  tiny  bit  at  times.  I’ve  been  enjoying  reading  their  content  for  Kai’sa  as  well,  though!  They  seem  to  have  a  very  interesting  &  realistic  take  on  her  so  far  &  I  love  me  some  of  that.  Also  pretty  graphics  10  /  10.  My  door  is  always  open  if  you  need  anything,  Kirin!

Kirin’s  Ashe  is  just  perfection.  She’s  the  right  amount  of  stern  &  soft.  She’s  so  stubborn  &  I  love  her  for  it.  I  can’t  help  but  root  for  her  honestly.  &  when  they  write  for  her  it  just. . .  Everything  makes  sense  ——  why  they  chose  Ashe  as  a  muse  &  it’s  so  lovely  seeing  her  come  to  life  the  way  she  does  in  Kirin's  hands.  You  just  can’t  help  but  admire  Ashe  for  her  achievements  &  her  overall  character.  When  Kirin  writes  for  her  she  feels  so  regal  &  composed,  but  also  down  to  earth  at  the  same  time  which  is  a  wonderful  combination.

✦   Favorite  things:  Kirin’s  ideas  &  Ashe’s  devotion.

LUX  /  @lightweaved​​.

Liv  aaa  (  Or  Star,  which  is  a  super  cute  pen  name  by  the  way.  )  is  first  of  all  GORGEOUS.  Second  of  all,  is  someone  I  wish  I  spoke  more  to!  But  to  be  honest  that’s  on  me,  mostly.  Thinking  about  it  I’d  actually  love  to  get  to  know  her  more!  She  just  seems  like  such  a  nice  &  warm  person  to  be  around,  idk.  Oh  &  she  has  a  knack  for  making  pretty  graphics!  I like the style  a  lot,  it’s  so  clean  &  readable,  as  is  her  blog.

This  Lux  though.  Is  so  good  &  so  interesting.  It’s  so  interesting  to  see  what  can  be  done  with  Elementalist  Lux  &  I  love  the  inclusion  of  Spellthief  as  well.  It’s  nice  to  see  Lux  being  taken  in  a  direction  that  isn’t  necessarily  what  you’d  expect  for  her  ——  that  she  can  fend  for  herself  so  well  &  that  she  is  willing  to  do  work  as  a  spellthief.  She  also  has  a  super  cute  design.  I  have  a  weakness  for  when  people  personalize  their  canon  muses  to  fit  their  portrayal  better  &  this  is  no  exception  ——  Star’s  Lux  is  simply  too  pretty.

✦   Favorite  things:  Star’s  brightness  &  Lux’s  cheekiness.

KAYLE  /  @unholyshe​​.

Aqua  hits  an  aesthetic  that  hits  my  heartstrings  IRL  &  here  on  Tumblr.  I’m  always  on  the  edge  of  my  seat  when  I  speak  to  her  because  in  all  honesty  she’s  hilarious  as  fuck  &  I  really  enjoy  plotting  with  her.  There’s  just  something  about  the  way  she  talks  that’s  a  perfect  balance  between  dishing  out  actual  plots  &  joking  around  with  it  that  I  love.  God  I  love  Aqua  so  much,  she’s  just  so  funny  &  nice  to  be  around  &  I’m  always  excited  to  talk  to  her!  I  hope  you  feel  better  soon,  though,  cause  depression  sucks  &  I’m  here  if  you  need  anything.  I  hope  you  know  that!

Literally  any  character  that  Aqua  touches  I’m  in  love  with.  I’m  excited  to  RP  with  any  of  them  to  be  honest,  but  to  stick  to  Kayle?  I  love  that  Aqua  isn’t  afraid  to  show  off  her  bad  sides.  That  she’s  given  her  dimensions  &  that  she  feels  exactly  like  Kayle  should  feel.  Even  though  she  puts  Leona  through  hell  I  can’t  help  but  love  them  together.  What  can  I  say,  I  have  a  weakness  for  characters  helping  each  other  grow  as  individuals!

✦   Favorite  things:  Aqua’s  humor  &  Kayle’s  bitchiness.

TIANNA  /  @ofironloyalty​​.

Good  Grace  we’re  here.  Insert  more  name  jokes  here.  She’s  snuck  her  way  into  my  heart  &  I  do  consider  her  a  good  friend!  I  love  waking  up  to  messages  from  her,  whether  it  be  OOC  or  plotting  related.  It  also  always  excites  me  to  read  her  posts  on  my  dash  &  I  strive  to  maintain  a  spot  as  her  #1  fan.  Grace  doesn’t  take  herself  too  seriously  &  I  love  that  about  her,  it’s  so  nice  to  be  around  people  like  that.  She’d  rather  laugh  about  her  own  shortcomings  or  joke  about  which  is  so,  so  refreshing.

I’ve  said  it  before  but  Grace’s  Tianna  is  everything  you  need  Tianna  to  be.  She  is  strong  physically  &  mentally,  steadfast,  a  little  stuck  up  &  of  course,  has  the  willpower  of  a  true  Demacian  High  Marshal.  I  feel  very  lucky  that  I  get  to  ship  with  such  a  lovely  muse  &  mun,  honestly.  Tianna  is  strict  when  she  has  to  be  but  she  is  also  a  big  softie  at  times  when  she’s  allowed  to  be  &  it’s  so  sweet.  It’s  been  great  getting  to  know  both  mun  &  muse,  &  I  hope  to  get  to  interact  much  more  in  the  future!

✦   Favorite  things:  plotting  with  Grace  &  Tianna’s  soft  side.

HONORABLE  MENTIONS.

&  last  but  not  least,  some  honorable  mentions  are  @defyances​​​,  @foxcharmed​​​  &  @blessercoeur​​​  (  Hi  again  Moon!  )  whom  I  have  just  begun  plotting  /  exploring  ship  dynamics  with.  I’m  coming  to  love  the  dynamic  that  each  of  these  pairings  have  &  I’m  so  excited  to  explore  them!  Irelia  &  Leona  is  just  great  content  all  around,  with  a  side  of  angst  in  the  whole  long  distance  thing.  Ahri  &  Leona  is  such  a  wholesome  mess  of  Leona  teaching  Ahri  how  to  Empathy™  &  them  finding  love  in  that  somewhere.  A’ni  &  Leona  are  just  two  hearts  who  beat  to  the  same  rhythm  in  multiple  ways  &  I’m  so  pumped  to  see  them  interact  more  &  getting  along.

Unprompted  asks    /  /    Always  accepting.