#and don't let me get into the part where several years of medical neglect fucked MY BODY

[wind-chime-system]

Unfortunately it appears that several years of trauma and undiagnosed mental illnesses can leave you with quite the big list of "weird brain stuff"

[darkdansdarkestdays]

So, I guess I have a sudden dilemma in that I feel an obligation to myself to respond to more fucking nonsense, but am raging due to the way I continue to be treated as if my reality, even and especially the portion clear as day to myself and everyone is being misrepresented. That my previous over-the-top, though not disingenuous near worshipful behavior toward you seems to have emboldened gaslighting of the most severe and blatant variety....my only hope is that I am misinterpreting what I am seeing....or, it was meant for someone else. I stead of the full tirade I had planned, I will try to placate myself by inserting a few corrections. 1) I NEVER FUCKING GHOSTED YOU....I CONTINUED TO "INTERACT" EVERY DAY (if that is what you call guessing as to which blog is being used by your conversational partner and your responses actually are posted on YOUR blog....probably activating tumblr's algorithm to start showing ads for schizophrenia medication in my feed) I DID spend a great deal of time talking to an old friend, who was recently married and had a baby boy last week. Aside from being excited about this, we had a serious falling out after being extremely close for 4 or 5 years and the rekindling of our friendship was also very poitive.bas I saukid, she was a big part of my life for a long time and I missed her. Also....I need friends. I can't even get anyone to speak to me or interact online in a direct fashion (presumably because then other people know?! I don't know what your line of reasoning was like that concluded that you needed to eliminate me from your world (where I never really entered,,,even for 30 seconds) so, I was going to say something like " hey, how about we either meet somewhere and talk or let's hmjusr forget the whole thing. This is fucking stupid.....So...either way,,,,it seemed it was written in the stars that the end would swallow this feeble attempt to break through years of neglect of feelings and love. Sad though it is, I believe this is truly going to end. Soon

[punprincess321]

Jacks reckoning pt 2 (made this for @mulberrybambi because jack needs to learn finally, read pt 1 first)

Gabe: *just finished calming Jesse down and is storming to Jack's office with a file in his hand*

Jack: *filling out paperwork to get get Jesse thrown in prison when it's yanked away by Gabe* give me that!

Gabe: YOU HAVE REACHED AN ALL NEW LEVEL OF LOW MORRISON! YOU TRAUMATIZED JESSE!

Jack: He's just overreacting because I caught him!

Gabe: DOING WHAT?! WHAT WAS HE DOING THAT WARRANTED MAKING HIM CRY AND BEG FOR ME NOT TO LEAVE HIM ALONE TO COME YELL AT YOU!? ALL HE WAS DOING WAS GETTING SOME WATER!

Jack: *unfazed by this* then what was he doing in the weapons sector?

Gabe: *stunned by Jack's argument before angrily pulling up the security footage, it shows Jesse heading in the direction of the kitchen and just glancing at the weapons sector where Jack grabs and yells at him* does that look like he was IN the weapons sector?!

Jack: He's a fucking waste of time! He was born that way and will always be a waste of time!

Gabe: TELL THAT TO HIS MOTHER! SHE DIED PROTECTING HIM! *pulls out a piece of paper from the file and slams it on his desk* this is the police report from when Jesse was found, he was 8 years old when his dad shot his mom, he killed his dad in self defense and sat next to his mom's corpse for god knows how long until police came to see why bills weren't being paid, he was put in the foster system, several times he was moved because of abuse or neglect and then a coroner's report of a man Jesse attacked with his bare hands, turns out an investigation into the man's death led to the discovery he was a MASSIVE FUCKING PEDOPHILE!

Jack: *reads the documents, feeling massive guilt build up in his gut*

Gabe: here's his medical records, several bruises that clearly indicate abuse, severe malnutrition, untreated infections from cuts, not a single vaccine, it's a fucking miracle that he's alive!

Jack: *feeling worse and worse by the minute as he looks at the pictures of Jesse's body seeing the infected wounds and scars from his years of abuse*

Gabe: So there, you're part of the group that thinks Jesse should continue to suffer, I'm trying to end that cycle and you nearly destroyed all of my progress because you can't pull your goddamn head out of your ass. If you want Jesse gone then fine but I'm leaving with him. *walks out*

-

*that night*

Jesse: *laying in his bed wrapped in the serape Gabe made him for his birthday, gets up and quietly walks to Gabe's room wanting to be with his dad*

Jack: *walking by and spots Jesse* McCree.

Jesse: *flinches and turns away in fear* I-I'm sorry I'm out of my room!

Jack: It's okay... I-... I'm sorry for how I've been treating you, I shouldn't have judged you so harshly and never get to know you, it was wrong of me to think of you as just a lowlife criminal, you're a child and I shouldn't have been so cruel... Can you ever forgive me?

Jesse: *turns around hesitantly and looks at Jack* you're not gonna send me away?...

Jack: No, I'm not sending you away, it was wrong of me to do it... *gets startled by Jesse hugging him*

Jesse: *tearing up* thank you sir... I promise to be a good agent in return.

Jack: *hugs back* you don't have to prove anything Jesse, you deserve to just enjoy your life, now were you going to Gabe's room?

Jesse: *nods*

Jack: let's go then.

-

*in the morning, Jack is sitting in his office drinking a coffee, he looks out the window waiting to see Gabe walk out the door of the base with Jesse like he said he would, the office door opens*

Gabe: you apologized to him.

Jack: yes, are you still leaving?... I won't stop you if you think it's best for Jesse.

Gabe: actually... I think we'll stay, it'd be wrong to take Jesse away from his support system and family.

Jack: okay... I'm sorry to you too...

Gabe: thank you for the apology. *walks over and gives Jack a hug* I'm sorry I too, I put your job at risk for Jesse.

Jack: it's okay, I think you did the right thing making me do it.

Gabe: *smiles* there's that sweet boy scout I fell in love with~

Jack: *smiles as well and returns the hug*

-

Jesse: *sitting in his room reading a magazine, there's a knock on the door, he gets up and opens it to see Jack and Gabe there smiling*

Gabe: guess what mijo? Jack and I are back together!

Jesse: really!?

Jack & Gabe: *nod*

Jesse: *hugs the two* two dads!