#and have to wait a certain length of time from.his first surgery
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#i have to convince one dr to get me a surgery so another dr can line me up for an actual surgery i desperately need#and they want me to wat 6 monthes#not because of any reason except im 5 pounds short of my goal#and have to wait a certain length of time from.his first surgery#its been anyear since his first procedure#and its not a vainity thing#i really need this second one when the opportunity arrises#organs are hard to come by#first come first serve kind of deal#and i could miss mine because of these rules#trying not to cry#but im so tired of fighting it some days#but im gonna keep trying#gonna keep pushing#its so fucking close#the will to live and do more then just exisisting is still there#gotta protect that little flame from going out#venting and processing my situation here because its gotta come out somewhere#and breaking down on my family is not something they can handle
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