#and he cant stop now bc he doesn't know why 'peach' had such a 180 on him so now he has to kidnap her to ask her what he did wrong!!

[eggcats]

Bowuigi fic where the entire reason Bowser spends all his time kidnapping Princess Peach to marry her is because the first time he kidnapped "Princess Peach" it was actually Luigi and they had an actual connection.

Like, the first time Bowser does his whole "kidnap the princess" scheme, he's intending it more as a show of force to take over another kingdom or negotiate terms of trade or something. (Not saying he's Right, but hey he was trying as a new monarch.)

So he shows up, and is like "Surrender to me the Princess, or I deploy my troops and destroy your toads!" Like an ultimatum or something.

So! In a panic, Luigi and Peach swap outfits and they go into disguise as each other. (This ultimatum gives them the time to pull this off.) Peach so she can escape and rally help to rescue Luigi, and Luigi because they don't know what Bowser intends and they don't want Peach to be in any legitimate danger. (They've literally never met Bowser before this, who knows what he's going to do!!!)

Except! Peach!Luigi and Bowser never get to determining terms of trade or anything, because they start talking and hit it off. Peach!Luigi meets Jr and Bowser sees how good "she" is with his youngest kid, and now suddenly Bowser IS thinking of marrying her and making her Jr's mama.

Bowser even says a cringe-corny pickup line to Peach!Luigi and while Kamek is facepalming in the background, "Peach" is blushing and laughing at it, enjoying their banter.

By the time Mario shows up to rescue "Peach" all "her" and Bowser have done so far is have dinner, say cringe flirts to each other, and play house with Jr. Literally nothing was accomplished except Bowser thinking he has a girlfriend now.

(Luigi might have forgotten that he probably shouldn't flirt with the dude kidnapping him, especially not dressed as someone else. Listen, he's under a lot of pressure and Bowser made him dinner and introduced him to his son, sue him.)

Luigi then assures Peach that Bowser wasn't doing anything mean or cruel to "her" and that he's actually pretty decent, all things considered (he did still kidnap her, after all.) So now they know that the next time Peach is captured (for real this time) they still, obviously, need to rescue her but it's not a critical life or death situation.

Except the next time Bowser shows up, he just tries to talk to Peach. But she won't even listen to him or give him the time of day! So! He kidnaps her, hoping that doing the same thing as last time will reignite their chemistry, but nothing he does works! She's not even that interested in talking to Jr this time around!!

Obviously Mario did something to make his Peach no longer like him! How dare he!

And so, the "kidnap the princess and marry her" schemes arise, because Bowser KNOWS somewhere in there Peach still likes him, he just has to remind her! If she spends enough time with him she'll come around!

More drama is that sometimes Bowser will kidnap Peach!Luigi again and they hit it off fine, so Bowser KNOWS his plans are working!! Peach does actually like him, he's just not trying hard enough.

Luigi doesn't even think HE'S the cause of all this Bowser drama because, like, of COURSE Bowser would want the princess? She's a princess? He doesn't realize that the ONLY reason Bowser wants the princess is because of him. (Luigi in no way thinks he's special enough to have caused all this. This could be in part because he doesn't know that "marry the princess" was never even Bowser's original scheme.)

Maybe one time during a kidnapping Bowser will lament to the real Peach about what changed since the first time he kidnapped her? They had such a connection! And Peach has to reveal to Luigi after the fact that, hey, I think I'm getting kidnapped because Bowser has a crush on you? What did you SAY to him???

Who knows what turn of events will eventually reveal the truth on who he actually connected with, or how he handles it.