#and he keeps yapping and your dinner is ruined now bc you didn't need to know that dolphins can transmit STIs | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

soloquel · 8 months

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you're asked at the dinner table what your favorite marine animal is and you say, "i don't know, dolphins maybe?" and levi just bolts out of his seat and leaves the room so quickly you need five seconds to process that, and by the time you do, he's back with an entire power point presentation which he projects onto the wall so that he can teach your uneducated, naive ass about WHY you should pick ANY animal in the ocean EXCEPT those damn fucking traitors. and you're gonna listen.

#levi is traumatized from that time back when he was still an admiral and he had a squadron or whatever of dolphins and it was Bad.#bc while they were terrifying forces in the water they also were terrifying towards their allies #levi: “dolphins are the SCUMBAGS of the ocean. they kill and rape FOR FUN. they can go without sleeping for FIVE CONSECUTIVE DAYS. they-”#and he keeps yapping and your dinner is ruined now bc you didn't need to know that dolphins can transmit STIs #but now you know. you ask him “do devildom dolphins look more terrifying then?”#and levi tells u: “there are no devildom dolphins. we just take them from the human world. they're the second scariest creature from there”#do we wanna know what the scariest is....... not at dinner thanks.#tw mention of rape #obey me #obey me leviathan #i am scared of dolphins. also JUSTICE FOR SHARKS 🗣🗣🗣

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