#and he was always a liar not to the extent of kira but much more than an average person

[fatedkings]

i want to preface these thoughts by saying: by no way shape and form will i ever force my headcanons on my roleplay partner of the other character i have the headcanon with. These are just my thoughts and nor do I view muns of villains in a negative light, we all love characters just different types. it does not mean they, the muns, are bad people.

my  ( undead )  izuru headcanons involve Gin/Aizen of course, whom both i love dearly with all my heart, and several other characters like Hisagi, Momo, Renji, and Matsumoto.  I will have a read more,   gore warning etc.  as this WILL get lengthy  ( going in depth about izuru’s state of consciousness leading up to,   the possible backlash,    etc. )

basically tl;dr    izuru kira becomes the epitome of despair.

After a blast in the chest from Bazz-B, obliterating his abdomen tossing his arm aside, Izuru barely “alive” is taken to Mayuri Kurotsuchi to be healed. Held together by a string of will to live, heavy poles, and enhanced by the reiatsu of Izuru’s fallen seated officers now standing at a captain’s level ( as stated by Shaz Domino in their battle in “Beginning of the revive of Tomorrow”. )

much of him ponders his existence:   how he is carrying the souls of the seated officers he was unable to protect, only to continue to fight for his pride as a gotei 13 member.   This mindset  has been the same since Gin Ichimaru left the gotei 13 with aizen in a beam of light, leaving Kira’s trust irreparable. his personality has always revolved around his comrades, his captain, the gotei 13  ( as many shinigami were indoctrinated to unquestioningly  [ i.e. he made momo bow before byakuya even though it was wrong to just allow  renji to be jailed horribly injured as he was. ]  believe to follow the rules and motions at the time making aizens plan easier, izuru is just another sleeper in the system. )

this could be stated as a young shinigami he was impressionable, Aizen “I plan everything to a T” Sosuke stated how he chose Hinamori specifically for being his lieutenant so that he may manipulate her like a puppet for the events of the soul society arc.   (  which arguably pitted them against one another and ruined their [ hinamori and izuru’s ] relationship in my opinion  )    i highly suspect that Izuru was ALSO chosen through the same process that Hinamori was picked so that there were no flaws in this plan, as Gin was in with Aizen one hundred years prior.

now, I am not saying that Gin did not CARE for Izuru personally, I am saying that Gin had a mission and that was to kill aizen by any means necessary even if it meant getting others hurt. Gin played along with Aizen’s game, the manipulation, i even think he cared for Izuru to an extent before the end of their time together, but again he had a mission he had to accomplish. What I have always loved about BLEACH is how morally grey the characters are, and Gin alongside Tosen is a great example of these archtypes. Gin wanted to kill Aizen and return the shard of the Soul King back to Rangiku, what he sold his life away to for the person he loved most.

We know Izuru as a child was more free, chipper to tease and speculate over his and Hisagi’s strength only question what happened to make Kira such a gloomy person. Perhaps it is the exposure to being a soul reaper, but the drastic changes in his personality make me question what made Izuru the person we know now?    it’s only later on in my current re-reading of BLEACH in Izuru’s cell scene did i get the full extent of how uncomfortable it truly was at least for me.    A dilapitated cell,     scratched up,     broken chair,      blood splatter aross the floor, Izuru in a sling self loathing:

Hinamori’s cell was not the same state being absolutely pristine, almost the same for Renji except more concrete than wooden. Kira put the loyalty to his Captain over the loyalty to his friend when it came down to the tension over Sosuke Aizen’s “death”  self loathing over what he had done.  All of this Damage had been done by himself, restrained for his own safety, conflicted over his own emotions:

Izuru was lead to rely and be loyal to Gin ( if not I think part of Kira on the inside was also TERRIFIED of Gin ),  leading to Izuru diverting Matsumoto after the central 46 slaughter although he tells Nayura from “Beginning of the Revive of Tomorrow” Gin did not tell him to fight Matsumoto the opposite is implied in the manga as well as matsumoto’s suspicions of some sort of manipulation  (  rangiku and izuru make up tho and drink so its gucci ) with a q&a of Kira’s after the soul society rebellion sounding lost, stating how he did not want ‘liars’ in his company. However, Hinamori’s q&a had a desire for life and to move on from the tragic events unlike Izuru’s prompt.

Rose might be attached to Izuru, however, Izuru does not want to latch on to Rose and for something unmistakable to happen (  unable to trust, similar to the captain amagai arc in the anime except with one personality of strenuous trepidation and the other willing.  )

It’s always been his mindset to put the Gotei 13 before his friends ( who he loves very much, he worried about rangiku more than himself even though he was a human squirting ketchup bottle ),   he does not have any living family, nor does he seem to have any lingering positive feelings to himself   as now Kira needs to PROVE his worth. Later on in turn back the pendelum with Kisuke and Hiyori visiting maggots nest mentioning how there is no one who intentionally leaves the Gotei 13, implying that in the Gotei 13 you either die as a shinigami or are imprisoned for life.  Unquestioning loyalty is the unhealthy norm among all of them, even if it may seem endearing at times for the Division eleven members, etc.

[Undead] Izuru is just what he says: a ‘different Izuru’. 

although it may be known that the hole in his chest exists, the extent that the mental state has deteriorated would be unknown to most of the people in his life. Just because of the change brought on by Ichigo and his friends does not mean that Soul society has truly made progress, many of the soul reapers linger on the old ways rather than moving forward. Shinigami are still very much sheep apart of the herd and without Kira voicing his concern about the state of being Izuru is in none would be the wiser or know about the souls essentially stapled against his own. Everyone would be complacent, silent... as possibly KIra could decend into a numb void pit similar to a Gillian.

How? Only Arrancar have been stated similar to Shinigami, but the backlash to having the souls pegged onto the motherboard would create some TYPE of hazard for Izuru in the future that would jeapordize his state of being. Here i propose this theory: Gillians are made of hollows intertwined with one another, although, most do not have any sense of individuality because of this make up,

1.)   izuru would eventually lose his sense of object permanence, individuality, perpetually putting his comrades in danger by his own presence that could lead to the harm or slaughter of shinigami and the people he once loved.

2.)   if the process of losing spiritual pressure is painful  ( i.e. how ichigo reacted in the manga when he passed out after mugetsu ) perhaps the same can be said for those who rapidly gain spiritual pressure/reiatsu over a short period of time.

(  in brave souls during his attacks he sounds like hes groaning or in pain.  )

3.)   interacting with izuru is a lot like pulling teeth,  to yank and  tear,   like the moon as a waning crescent his mentality is filled with the dysphoric aftermath.  Unable to turn a new page,   even with the war over,   izuru has not sought help for the gaping cavern that lays in his chest nor does he seem to want to...

(  izuru seems to be content with living alongside his companions day to day as if the days were the same before the TYBW   [ in rukia’s and renji’s getting-married novel he still has the hole because yoruichi tries to unclothe him to look at it ].     Unless kira himself comes to the conclusion that he has regained some sort of status within the gotei 13,     as lieutenant within division three there will be no redemption or acceptance to fill that gap.     it will be there haunting him,      a wound undisclosed with all expected to walk parallel never questioning  his state of being, he is detached from the world around him,  isolating himself for various reasons.    )

4.)    the arm that was blown off is mostly repaired as synthetic, izuru holds his arms and body irregularly    (  i.e.   how attacks with one arm only,    one shoulder is lifted higher than the other.  ) and can be ejected off with enough force if applied.

5.)    SPECULATION**//         his will to fight/kill might be affected,   as we have seen through ichigo,   is what drives a shinigami to gain power in their zanpakuto is their kill intent resolve.     He states that he is only fighting for his pride to gain his status back in the gotei 13, though he protected others, it was to a means to an end.   However,    his former resolve in battle was to the point of no doubt so it would vary by situation   (  i.e. “ can i protect this place?   we will see... “  )

6.)    no one knows about the souls basically stapled to Izuru’s body.     most likely people understand he had grown stronger without a bankai but not HOW.  The only people who know are Mayuri, Nemu ( who is dead), possibly Akon, and very few of those in the twelfth division but those would be sworn to silence.

7.)    a type of imposter syndrome.   believing that he is not the real izuru, since he did indeed die, combined with several different souls who could he be?   it’s why he becomes irrationally agitated when the events of TYBW or the hole inside his body is brought up, why has he not closed it?  truly he is frightened of what the answer might be and only clams up more aka linked back to #3

the reason i call him the epitome of despair is that he always had good intentions, he loves his friends endlessly, he serves his company with loyalty that would be expected of a perfect soldier, but he never had a chance from the start that he entered the academy.

he might have been able to save one girl inside of the central 46 that would go on to do big changes alongside the captain commander and nanao, but for Izuru already so much had been lost at one time significance had no meaning. his life had no meaning, all his faith in the system had been proven to be meaningless as corrupt, most of all he could not protect his comrades that were compounded to his body : how could he continue to be a shinigami in the gotei thirteen, a lieutenant no less? how could he protect others?

i don’t want to stereotype him as the “”””emo””””” type as he, at the core, is far from it even with and despite how gloomy Izuru reacts. He is, for the most part, a grounded level headed individual who is self disciplined, decisive even when it comes to battle that separates him from the rest of the lieutenants  ( he has a usual indecisiveness, but it can be worked to his advantage in some situations. )

Loyal,  soft spoken,  the friend you would WANT to have,  Izuru can still express emotion as the sheer panic and fright he had when yoruichi tried to disrobe him just to look at his hole was genuine enough. hell he even ran division three for a short time by himself, i think that is something to be recognized.

it’s not that he does not believe as the head of central 46 thinks, but that his reasoning for who he was wanes his existence. all of it is jarring, there would have to be some kind of backlash.

it would be easy to say ‘get orihime to heal him’ and ‘get it over with’ but orihime struggled to heal ichigo through ulquiorra’s cero that shot through his chest the first time because of the strong reiatsu that lingered. Bazz-B is a thousand year old quincy,  in comparison the effort would most likely exhaust orihime before she even finishes because of the residual energy that imprinted. Knowing how orihime’s powers work it relies on her mental fortitude, she is human and not indespensible, Kira sees this as a burden on the ryoka and would not ask this of them after all that Ichigo and his friends have done for them.

degradation was not personality/character improvement rather the focus of the marigold on his character was specific, and I am sure there would have been more if Kubo was not rushed by deadlines and illness. I feel like im repeating points by now so i think hopefully everyone gets the picture of what I mean, if anyone has any questions let me know!

[define-justice]

Colour Theory

Okay, so we all know about the Death Note Anime’s Colour Scheme™ for characters:

Light Yagami, Kira, is red. 

L is blue.

The rest is under the cut!

⟚

Light is red because red is associated with evil—blood, fire, rage, the works. And, of course, we all know the anime really tries to portray Light as the villain. Or at least, as the anti-hero.

Red is a fiery colour, filled with emotion, much like Light. In fact, we even see a lot of red on his character. His school tie, the apples, even his blood in the final few scenes.

Of course, Japanese high school ties are technically all red (as far as I know), so that could be excluded. Apples, too, are more Ryuk’s thing than Light’s (no matter what the symbolism says).

So the primary focus is blood.

Of course, that’s the primary focus of Death Note. Light Yagami has caused deaths and bloodshed to hundreds upon thousands of people, in the name of justice.

So red fits Light Yagami perfectly, does it not?

Blue, too, fits L. It is a calming colour, and represents steely determination, and to some extent, detachment.

L is almost always calm, as seen throughout canon. His facial expression almost never changes, and even when it does, it’s likely acting for the sake of the Task Force.

L would never give up on the Kira Case—his pride wouldn’t allow it. Even if it costed him his life, he remained adamant to solve it.

But what if I told you that those were never their intended colours?

“Emma, don’t be ridiculous. It’s there, in the anime!”

Yes, I know, I know. But need I remind you that the anime did change several things?

*cough* feet drying scene *cough*

That scene was never in the manga, and, due to its Biblical significance, was included to further ‘villainise’ Light. Allow me to explain:

In a similar scene, it is Jesus who dries Judas’ feet, knowing full well of his betrayal.

There’s actually a lot I have to say about this scene, but that’s for another post.

But, there you have it: another example of Light as the bad guy.

“Okay, okay, we get it; the anime makes Light the bad guy. Get on with the post!”

In an interview with Obata-sensei, he revealed this:

“Each main character has a color assigned to them. For example, Light is a lack of color or clear, L is gold, Misa is pink or black.”

Allow me to delve into this.

Light is clear. According to Ohba-sensei and Obata-sensei, Light was “Pure Yet Extreme”.

The use of clarity could easily represent purity, something vital to Light’s character.

Another possibility is that Light was fully transparent from the start.

”What? He’s a liar! His acting skills are 10/10!”

That’s true, and I’ll come back to that.

But, as Kira, he doesn’t pretend to be anything he isn’t.

He believes he is ridding the world of evil for the good of society, and he doesn’t have an ulterior motive for it. As Kira, he wasn’t trying to hide the fact that he was killing people. Even during the Yotsuba Arc, he was completely transparent.

And finally, there was the scene in Chapter 75, right after Soichiro’s death, when all his beliefs were laid bare:

But he has to play it off as speculation because he’s supposed to be L, leading the Task Force now.

But if you look closely, we can’t see his eyes at all during this scene. Not once.

And, in anime and manga, why does the artist hide a character’s eyes in certain scenes? Because the character is trying to hide sadness, or has conflicting emotions. (I should say that @casuistor​ has done a brilliant analysis on Light, which brings this up in more detail.)

Which is why I think it may just be one of the most honest things Light Yagami has said in the entire series.

Here, he is completely transparent, actually revealing what is his deepest philosophy, but forced to make it seem like an assumption.

“Okay, but what about the rest of his lying?”

Here’s an irony for you:

The lies are to make him seem more transparent.

Wait, let me explain.

The reason one lies is to make someone believe something false.

And since Light had to lie to build an entire personality for the world to see, the Light Yagami everyone believed in was transparent—clear—to them.

In fact, this might be the sole reason Obata-sensei chose clarity for Light. If his acting skills were absolutely perfect (10/10), then he’d have to draw Light’s expressions accordingly—as if it were not acting, but instead was true.

Even the readers would be unable to interpret acting from truth, if Light’s thoughts did not clear it up at some point.

And there’s one more reason:

Light Yagami has a strong sense of justice.

This is established right at the beginning.

So when Light has to carry out his judgments as Kira, his own personal opinions are not clouded by his own biases. His head, too, must be completely clear.

⟚

Now, portraying L as gold seems a bit weird, doesn’t it? Good, that’s what I thought too. And then, I sat down and thought about it.

Now, pardon the format, but we’re going to work backwards from here. We’ll look at the properties and symbolism of gold and compare if to L.

Gold is costly and guarded carefully.

We all know about how a Central Bank will guard their country’s gold reserves (I will blame my Economics classes for this one). This is also because it’s pretty rare.

But think about it as L:

L is rich, someone as intelligent as L is practically impossible to find, and L has always been protected by Wammy’s House and Watari. Plus, there’s also the fact that he only takes on cases that he’s interested in, which makes it pretty hard for anyone to get a hold of him. 

Gold has a high melting point.

To be precise, a melting point of a whopping 1,064°C.

Similarly, L isn’t going to give up while under heat that he’s often given from the Task Force.

This is highlighted at the end of the Misa Arc, where Light and Misa were under confinement. Soichiro and Aizawa were both insistent upon letting Light, and by extension, Misa out in order to keep working on the Kira Case.

L was pretty adamant about keeping them caged.

Gold is malleable.

Now, while this may seem to directly contradict my previous point, there is a distinction here.

Because gold is malleable, that means it changes its shape easily without changing its chemical properties or matter.

In the context of L, it means he’s adaptable—he has to be, in order to be the world’s greatest detective. Here’s a short list of things L has had to adapt to during the course of canon:

※ Solving a case in Japan

※ Having his life endangered

※ Having to work with others on a case

※ Having to show his face to people other than Watari

※ Revealing his identity as L, even to his prime suspect

※ Allowing said suspect to work with him

※ Being chained to said suspect 24/7

For someone like L, who’s accustomed to solitude and independence, this is a lot of change.

But throughout this, he doesn’t change what he thinks or who he is; he just changes what he does.  Put simply, he’s changing his approach without changing his beliefs. 

Gold is not very reactive.

I’ll spare you a chemistry lesson here, so I won’t talk about why gold is quite unreactive despite having only one electron in its valence shell (it’s quite interesting, but I digress).

We know L is detached and stoic, and doesn’t react emotionally to many things.

But, when affronted with an aggressive counter like aqua regia (HNO3+3HCL) it will dissolve to form chloroauric acid.

(I apologise for blathering on about chemistry, but it’s needed here.)

Here, it’s pretty obvious that the “aggressive counter” is Light. And while L won’t react to Watari or the Task Force, he reacts—very often—to Light.

For example:

And to top it off, said aggressive counter also caused his dissolution.

(whoops, my hand slipped)

And finally, Misa.

It’s pretty easy to see why Obata-sensei went with a black/pink theme. In fact, it even explains her “Gothic Lolita” look.

It’s all Misa’s yandere personality.

For those of you who don’t know:

The term “yandere” is a combination of two Japanese words:

“Yanderu”, meaning sick; and “deredere”, meaning lovestruck.

When combined, it defines a character who is willing to do sick and twisted things, such as commit murder, for the sake of their love.

A yandere may be nice, bubbly, and friendly in the outside—that’s the deredere part of them. They may even be pretty likeable.

However, when it comes to the one they love, a yandere will do anything for them. This is inclusive of the willingness to kill a love rival in order to win their loved one’s affection, or even commit murder to protect their loved one. This is the yanderu side, the side that doesn’t rely on any moral reason for their actions.

This is easy to see with Misa. She’s outwardly cheery, cute, and bubbly, and even appears to be quite daft.

But, when it comes to Light…

Another thing about yanderes is that when it comes to the one they love, they’ll think they ‘win’ if they manage to eliminate a love rival.

This trend doesn’t go unfollowed by Misa.

Anyhow, the pink is for the “deredere” side of Misa, and black is for the “yanderu”’side.

Well, what I’d expected to be a quick run-through of a simple statement turned out to be a lot longer than that. Also!

I really want to thank @mikami​ and @casuistor​ for inspiring me to write and post this!

[baddyxangel]

Hey sorry for reviving this so late buuuuut let me just put in a few points.Ok, so when I watched 5a, I was having a hell of a time, considering i adore stiles and his personality, and seeing stiles do bad things makes me so happy. After the Donovan situation and then when he was in a car with Theo, saying he felt good about killing him, I really believed they could have developed so much from that story, but after 5b, it's almost like they forgot about it. He had one heartfelt conversation with his father about losing something and never being able to get it back, but that's it. I was wondering, did this annoy you as much as me? Considering they never developed the fact that Stiles LIKED killing Donovan?

It's really complex, I did a lot of talking about this on tumblr, so I learned my way around it like a pro Stiles was glad in that instant because the threat was gone, he was safe, but it was quickly replaced by guilt. People overlook it, but he tried to help Donovan when he was on the spear. And it wore down on him because he couldn't tell anyone but in 5b something very interesting happens, he gets very good at pretending to be s1 stiles, he's suddenly clumsy, his brain to mouth filter is gone again, he goes from sleeping in a foetal position (in s4 with malia) to sprawled out on the couch in the sheriff's office which presents a few options

he bangs his head A LOT in s5a and a lot of the things that are obvious do fit concussion symptoms, clumsiness, sleeping at irregular times etc

he has gotten over it (hahahahaha)

he's faking it

being knee deep in the meta on tumblr (same username) I've been through a lot of the eps 2 or 3 times looking for hints, clues etc, and it's come down to brain damage which is cured medically with trepanning (opening him up to magic and revealing his otherness) OR he's faking because he wants to fit in again my own gut says b, he's faking it because he wants everything to run smoothly. There are hints that he and Scott are still broken up, but Stiles is pretending because BH needs it, and he's biding his time until he leaves. I'm going with this until further knowledge but with the suggestions in 6 that he's missing it will be interesting that with Kira gone if Scott cares.

tumblr user sublimeglass (or was it cupidsbower, definitely one of the two) pointed out there is often a huge difference between what characters on teen wolf SAY and what they DO look at Stiles, he spends five seasons advocating violence and death, to the point he suggested "chloroforming the little bastard and throwing him in the lake" [about Liam] but he's actually the least violent member of the pack. He is known as the liar but he's a terrible liar and very rarely breaks the truth. Peter is seen as being hideously lying and he uses the truth cleverly but it is the truth. It uses a specific narrative viewpoint and that viewpoint is often wrong, characters (and us) assume and when we assume we're usually, 99 times out of a hundred, wrong. Go through season 5b and ask yourself when does Stiles turn to Scott, he confides in Lydia and his dad, he goes to Scott in regards the attack because he needs power in his corner. Scott didn't talk to him about Duke (that wasn't new for Scott) but Stiles wasn't wounded like he's been before. We have Stiles who broke up with Malia, Lydia is in Eichen, Scott broke up with him - and he wants to help, he wants to be useful which Scott implied (accidentally or not) that if Stiles had killed (remember it was an accident and Scott still doesn't know the details, he still thinks Stiles smashed Theo's head in) he was cast out of the pack - which means he can't help. So why not suppress who he is and act like they expect him to be so they don't drive him away. It certainly fits his character. It's that it was SO obvious that makes me question it. Combined with his line at the end of season 5, about everyone falling where they need to be (I can't remember the quote off hand) instead of his plan to keep everyone together at the start - that's a huge shift and it certainly fits 5a stiles better than 5b but the foetal thing - he couldn't sleep until he was the little spoon, which is the foetal thing, but people like being the little spoon because it makes them feel safe. The same reason they sleep in the foetal position, which makes them small. "This stance, favoured by worriers, is said to show the sleeper is seeking to return to their comfort zone after a stressful day. Foetal sleepers are conscientious, ordered and like things in their place, according to the study, but are also in danger of over-thinking problems and worrying unnecessarily." from a study done by Premier Inn he can't "sleep without his pillow" which suggests (from the same study) ften clutching their pillow, they can appearing to be “holding on for dear life” in what is thought to be the most uncomfortable sleeping position for adults. Those who adopt it can feel as if life “happens around them” and they are just “hanging on for the ride”, believing they lack control over what will happen the next day. now before he seemed to be either a starfish or a frog, the frog is lying on their stomach with their ass in the air (often because placed on their front as a baby, the frog was recommended for a while) but the starfish Starfish The Starfish Position was the least popular amongst those with a preference, with only five per cent of those surveyed choosing it as their favourite. Starfish sleepers lie on their backs with legs sprawled and arms stretched up near the head, and were reported to make friendship a priority. They dislike being the centre of attention, instead offering to listen to the problems of others and go out of their way to offer assistance to those in need. which sounds very like s1 stiles the details in teen wolf are amazing! sometimes the big story details are a huge mess, but the tiny details - spot on every time. so him swapping from sleeping on his side curled up (if not full foetal) to sprawled on the sofa with one leg over the back is odd. His body language seems a lot tighter as well, which is why I think he's faking it. Even you questioned how far he'd gone.

I'm kinda "eh" about it. The situation was really dubious from the beginning. A fool would know the difference between murder and accidental killing, of all things. I felt Stiles acted out of character when initially dealing with it, by not telling anyone...yet at the same time, it's totally understandable why he feels the way he does about it. Maybe it was in the right vein, but much too extreme. It would've been so much better if he had actually struck the killing blow on purpose, establishing to Scott that sometimes killing is necessary, due to the simple fact that Stiles is human and isn't given a choice. If that had happened, so much of what happened later would have felt more natural and believable. There would've been some good moments between the two. As for how it was dealt with, I agree it was interesting. It was like when he was talking to Malia on the full moon, about how he liked the power and control from the Nogitsune. That was a surprise, yet it makes complete sense why he'd feel that way, and it's understandable why he'd never bring it up that much. Same goes for feeling good about Donovan's death. Stiles is pragmatic. He serves as a small foil to Scott, who is stuck being an idealist. I believe Scott will eventually have to kill someone. But, he would never admit to liking it. Stiles ultimately follows Scott's ideals, but as we've seen, if it came down to it, he would be glad they were dead. He felt pretty shitty about it, too, but still. The talk with his father felt like tying up loose ends. The sheriff gave him a little perspective, and it was nice. Scott missed the point entirely. As a character Scott is selfish and a bit self centred, but he's not narcissistic. He has a tendency to assume he knows what he's doing and that everyone agrees with him. In his apology he never once said sorry. He said I thought it was going to be either me or Malia, but as the sheriff pointed out Stiles didn't kill him. He talked to the Sheriff honestly. but he felt he couldn't go to them, his dad because he was the sheriff and he thought he'd covered up a crime and his dad would drive him away - because in our heads the voices of our loved ones are much meaner than they are in real life. And he believed he couldn't tell Scott because Scott would reject him, and at that point it was likely he would have, but Theo stirred the pot and made it much worse, much more likely. The show tells us Scott's a great guy, but if you get past that to actually look at him he's really not. He's fantastically written, but he's not a good guy, he's judgemental, and actually displays a lot of really dangerous behaviours. In a meta on tumblr actually I found he fit 15 of 17 key behaviours recognised in cult leaders. And that phrase "the cult of Scott McCall" coined by Superhappygenki (on tumblr) is spot on, the characters, Deaton leading them to a large extent, sell Scott as the wunderkid, and because Scott is good at saying the right things and appearing at the right time (often not to do much) we believe him, right up until he does something that makes you go - ummm no and then like an onion the layers fall away. In his paranoia over what happened Stiles believed the worst of Scott so he shut down what happened, stuffed it down and tried to make amends, and when Scott faced him down he did exactly what Stiles feared, he not only drove him away but in such a way that he seemed to throw him out of the pack. Had Stiles not been shut down when he tried to tell Scott outside Eichen House - he could have tried to be objective, by the time he was able to talk about it - on the drive to Mexico, it had it's claws in him.

Hey sorry for reviving this so late buuuuut let me just put in a few points. Stiles loves to be in control. He likes to feel powerful, and he's always had an inkling of that. He really, I mean really, cements that fact after his possession. He tells Malia he likes feeling powerful - and he gets it. And, putting aside the fact that he never implied he liked killing Donovan. He just likes that Donovan has died - which is totally different in the whole "murder scale" I qualified for this post. But putting all that aside, I mean, who wouldn't feel good that a threat to them and the people they care about is gone? Even if it was accidental. I love dark!Stiles too. I mean, he's got so much potential to be an anti-hero. He reminds me of deadpool a lot. Not the point though. I guess, what I'm trying to say... Stiles might finally be coming back round to himself? You know? He (and the writers) just pushed aside the whole Nogitsune possession thing. So, it would make a lot of sense that the first death he actually caused while he was in full capacity mentally would hit him extremely hard. And there's the whole extreme emotional distance between him and literally every other person on the show - the fact that instead of talking about his problems, he talks around them and just lets his friends infer what he might mean. He's kind of really fucked up & secretive about it! I'd love to see him (them/thewriters/whatever) explore this shit more explicitly in canon.

[nickcutler]

this is a post about autistic traits, autistic coding, and L from death note.

when i say autistic coding or autistic coded, i’m referring to a character having autistic traits such that it is reasonable to interpret them as autistic. this can mean a lot of things, and the coding doesn’t have to be intentional to be present. so when i say that L is an autistic coded character, i’m not saying he’s autistic in canon or he was written to be autistic, but that he comes across that way regardless of intention.

also i have only finished the anime, not the manga, so i’m talking primarily about the anime here bc that’s what i have experience with.

SO. firstable L is an autistic coded character. there’s a lot about him that supports this interpretation; he often responds in atypical ways to social cues, he focuses deeply and intently on what he does, he thinks in unique ways that allow him to solve cases when other people can’t, and i would argue that a lot of his physical mannerisms (biting his thumb, not wearing shoes, the way he sits) could be read as autistic coding as well.

the super smart detective being autistic isn’t really a new phenomenon, so i’m sure this probably isn’t hard for a lot of people to accept as a reasonable interpretation. the stereotypical autistic detective is a character who is 1) very smart 2) "quirky” in some way and 3) often very robotic. what is interesting to me about these characters is how fandom tends to interact with them and which autistic traits fandom is okay with and which ones they aren’t (obviously no fandom is a monolith but i’m saying fandom for ease in discussing this). near is also very autistic coded, and in the like. what few weeks? that i have been engaging with death note i have seen some very. imo questionable interpretations of L’s character that i think are particularly interesting when you consider autistic coding and when you contrast him with near.

i tend to really love autistic characters bc i relate to them, so a lot of my faves are autistic coded. bc of this i have seen the same things repeated over and over again in different fandoms, and most recently when i got into death note. death note, however, is one of the places where i have seen it the worst. basically, fandom is comfortable with/likes L’s quirky autistic traits. his mannerisms, his fixations, his tendency to say maybe inappropriate or blunt things. people like those aspects of him. he’s amusing. 

but when it comes to dealing with emotions i find people don’t like L or say things about him that seem untrue to me based on my understanding of him as autistic. 

an example: i saw a thread about how L didn’t really mean it when he said that light was his first friend (in general i see a lot of posts saying L never means anything or L lies all the time). i was kind of shocked when i saw it because to me, it seemed obvious that he meant it. L has never had peers that he could relate to; light was the first. even though he suspected he was kira, he still liked having that relationship where he could engage with someone on his level. and it would never have occurred to me to consider him insincere when he said it, because the way he expresses himself is very akin to the way i express myself. it’s difficult and i often don’t have the words for it and when i do talk about my emotions it usually comes in a burst when i can get something out that’s not just “hm i don’t know it’s like i don’t know you know?”

and that’s how i read L in that scene. he’s not just saying that to throw light off or to cause a stir, he means it, and he’s conflicted about what it might mean because he thinks light is kira. he’s struggling with that, just like he says he is.

i saw another post that said the reason L was shaking when aizawa yelled at him after ukita died wasn’t because he was upset about it but because he was scared of himself dying, but again, i didn’t interpret it that way at all. obviously in watching the anime with english subtitles and reading the manga in english i’m getting translations so i can’t say for sure that the true intent of the original dialogue is always captured, but in both L specifically says “if YOU go over there too”. he isn’t worried about himself, he’s worried about the rest of the task force and he is upset that ukita is dead. his seemingly calm level-headed approach isn’t him being callous, it’s how he deals with his emotions; for the sake of the case, yes, but also because he doesn’t know how to confront them and certainly not how to express them outwardly. 

and this sort of gets at the heart of what i see happening with him. he has emotions and he expresses them in a way that is consistent with his autistic coding. he’s not just a quirky weird guy who can solve crimes, he’s a human whose feelings get involved. and from what i’ve seen fandom doesn’t like that? i’ve seen so many more harsh posts about L than i have about any other character. L is a liar, L is manipulative, L never means anything he says, L is a bad person. and while he has done bad things, a Lot of the criticism i see falls into the category of being unnecessarily harsh, particularly when you consider i’ve almost never seen posts like that about other characters, and i’ve seen a lot of posts on a lot of blogs since i got into death note.

for contrast, look at how fandom interprets near. near is also heavily autistic coded, with the key difference from L being that he doesn’t really have much of an emotional arc. he’s smart, he’s funny, he twirls his hair and plays with his toys. even when the SPK is killed, he doesn’t react emotionally at all in the anime, and there isn’t much more to his reaction in the manga. he says it hurts, but that’s the extent of it. his emotions aren’t dealt with concretely, just represented by his dice tower falling apart. for the most part near is pretty much the autistic robotic genius detective in canon. and fandom does not have the same issues with him as they do with L. he fits the mold.

so i guess the long and short of it, to be blunt about it, is fandom doesn’t like autistic characters to be autistic when it comes to their emotions. the funny geniuses with their weird mannerisms are okay, but as soon as messy emotions get involved fandom turns on autistic characters. i’ve seen all kinds of posts about things L did that emotionally impacted other people, but very few about how anything emotionally impacted him. and that’s. a problem. it’s all well and good to like those other things about L, because i like them too, but when there’s so much negativity towards him when he deviates from the stereotype, that’s alarming to me. 

and ofc i don’t think anyone is sitting there going “oh i hate this character because he’s autistic and has emotions”, because i know thats not the case. but i think it’s important to maybe realize the implications of some of these claims. L isn’t wrong for dealing with his emotions in his own way, and he deserves as much leeway as any of the other characters get because, as people often say, there are a lot of gray areas in this show. and like i said, i don’t just see this in death note. every autistic coded character i’ve ever loved gets similar reactions, just not necessarily to such extremes. but it’s worth considering if you value autistic characters as people with feelings rather than amusing robotic figures who do funny things because real autistic people are out here and we can get the message.