Tumgik
#and heaven forbid u disagree bc then ur Ungrateful and deserve to be homeless
winchesternova-k · 2 years
Text
as has been the case so so many times, mcr managed to get me out of a panic spiral
#i’m going to be able to see my ma tomorrow and hopefully she can come up w something#if not i’ll just have to call him while i’m there and be completely honest#which will bite me in the arse bc it always does but idk what else to do#and in case ur wondering being truthful w him abt my disabilities in the past has only led to him being manipulative ableist or trying to#take over even more (he even tried to say i wasn’t fit to look after my ma)#i just wish i could scream at him i don’t want ur help! i don’t want anything from u! except to be left alone!!#he never asks he just does and assumes that what he’s doing is the best course#and heaven forbid u disagree bc then ur Ungrateful and deserve to be homeless#(yes he’s actually said that)#i feel so guilty abt the fact that the day he dies (which won’t be far off bc he’s terminally ill) will be nothing but a relief to me#i don’t wish him dead but i want him to leave me alone and since that’s the only way it’s happening#and i don’t WANT to feel relieved or look forward to the day a family member dies but he’s keeps doing so much harm#like i literally can’t do anything at ALL rn and he expects me to be able to clean an entire house so long as three of the ppl who i hate#the most still living on this earth are in the house!#(i don’t hate them rlly but holy fuck they make it hard not too)#sorry i just need to get this out#but at least mcr are keeping me from spiralling while i think this out#i can’t wait to see my therapist on tuesday holy shit#literally this just makes me want to run away and hide in my room at the motel#it’s the safest place i’ve ever felt bc they didn’t know i was there#i want to feel like that at home again#alex talks#vent tw#abuse tw
1 note · View note