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#and i can't seem to recreate the success of getting A's and B's that semester again
time-teller · 1 year
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vent
#vent#don't think i have seasonal depression but i hate the end of the school year being during spring#because then i have to think about the fact that i'm not even close to graduating#it took me 3 years to finish core classes because i kept failing and having to retake some due to procrastination that i feel is controllab#le but probably isn't and i think i have an underlying issue but i don't have a diagnosis. and i don't think i'm getting one anytime soon#because my sister is going to college next school year and our family is going to be short on spending money#and i feel guilty that it feels like im wasting my parent's money#whenever we visit family they always ask when i'm graduating and next year will be my fourth year but i'm not and i feel like a fucking#fool. and yes i see a lot of posts about college positivity and that it's a marathon not a race and that it takes everyone different#amounts of time to graduate but it does nothing if it feels like im wasting it all away over something i can easily control but what if#it's not that easy to control? i need a psychiatrist but the last time i tried to get an appointment they put me on a 6 week wait list that#i never heard from besides one call asking if i still wanted to be on it#and i can't go to my previous doctor anymore because i'm 21 now and have to go to the one my parents use#previous doctor told me i seem fine and didn't have anything wrong with me#and i feel like she's right#but this excessive procrastination didn't start until high school and where did everything go so wrong? why can't i complete school work in#a timely manner anymore? i was able to do it just fine in my first semester but ever since i went on a 2 day vacation it's all been downhil#and i can't seem to recreate the success of getting A's and B's that semester again
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