#and i hate feeling like my masculinity is constantly being stacked next to like . the pillars of cis man and cis woman

[scamoosh]

this is gonna sound whiny but nonbinary ppl can immediately tell when u just see them as their agab jsyk👍 its just frustrating 2 b surrounded by other queer ppl and even in those communities without fail if i make any comment abt period cramps or having worked in childcare or shit like that theres an Immediate shift to like oh okay ur actually a Girl got it . like . there was anothr nonbinary person i used 2 kno who had zero problem using the right pronouns for me until they heard how high my voice was on a call once ☠️

[axoxtxhxh]

First Date with the Vets - Hange

Big shoutout to @chaotic-nick​ for making this lovely banner for me!

Overall Summary: I had this idea to do a first date with the vets and what it would be like. I am including Erwin, Levi, Miche, and Hange in this list. Each date will be different, but all of them will be set in modern au.

Check out Miche’s story here, Erwin’s story here, Levi’s story here

Pairing: Hange x Masc!Reader

Content: All fluff

Word Count: ~ 5,300

Summary: Reader is getting ready to close up his shop for the night and start his Friday night when just before it’s time to close, a familiar face walks in the shop. Will this change his plans for the night?

A/N: Here I am again, writing for a masculine reader. I hope I did okay :) I am also still trying to get better at writing Hange and because of that, I may make mistakes with they/them pronouns and other non-gender specific things. Please let me know how I can fix it if I’ve made a mistake. Thank you!

Also, I wasn’t planning to post this today, but you know what? I don’t care. Happy Pride Month! 🏳️‍🌈

The clock on the wall continued to tick as slowly as it had been the last hour, each time you checked it, you swore it slowed down even more. You nibbled on your thumb nail again, tapping your fingers on the counter as you looked out the front window. It was one of those nights that felt cold, rainy and wet. The ground was wet, but it wasn’t actually raining. There were no umbrellas necessary, but you could still feel that rainy day mood.

The weather meant most people were either inside or at a café, trying to pull as much of the cozy feeling that they could. Not the best night to be at a bookstore. Especially an old bookstore without a café. You definitely mentioned this to your boss, but no such luck. It would have been a nice addition.

Normally Friday nights were quite busy and normally you loved being there. This Friday was a bit different. For once you had plans to go out and these were plans you were actually looking forward to.

Your friend had called you up last week saying she had tickets to an art show just down the street from where you work. It’s not that you were a huge fan of art, but you really liked the idea of being able to be out without having to get looks from people because you were alone.

It was the whole reason you loved living in the city. There were so many things you were able to do by yourself, but still have people around you. The was basically a dream for you being an introvert. Plus, it’s not that there was an issue finding someone to hang out with, you just preferred doing things alone. At least, you had yet to find someone you were interested in spending time with.

You checked the clock again. Twenty minutes left. You sighed and brought your thumbnail to your mouth again. It looked like the rain was actually picking up. More umbrellas were popping open and you watched the droplets of water roll down the front window. The rain wasn’t going to slow you down though. If anything, it meant there might be less people interested in an art showing and you could have the place to yourself.

You continued watching the rain droplets rolling down the window, periodically checking the time, until you recognized a familiar Starry Night umbrella. The walk of the person holding the umbrella was even more familiar.

It was maybe four months ago that Hange Zoe first walked into the bookstore. You were working that day, standing in the exact same spot. They had never come in the bookstore before, you were very sure of that because had they come in, you would have remembered them. Still, the second they stepped foot inside, it was as if they knew the place, as if it were their bookstore and not your boss’s.

At the time, you didn’t realize that anytime Hange came in, they would be searching for the most random and hard-to-find book in existence, but after about a month of that happening, you quickly realized that when they walked in, you would be having to place an order for them. You were pretty sure that’s what brought them into your bookstore in the first place since you ran a specialty bookstore. Still, Hange found a way to get you searching for books you had never even heard of.

The first book they wanted was a very old and very specific ethics textbook. You had no idea what they needed that for, but you knew you didn’t carry it in the store. They waited by the spinning display of sunglasses while you filled out the form. Yes, your boss decided to sell cheap sunglasses in the front as well as those keychain nametags, but couldn’t find a reason to open a café.

Your eyes kept taking glances at Hange while they tried on the most ridiculous glasses meant for the children that came in. You laughed to yourself as you finished filling out the form and called your boss over to sign the order form.

“What is it?” He asked, carrying a stack of books that you knew he was going to have you stocking later on.

“She’s looking for this book.” You pointed to the order form.

“It’s actually ‘they’.” Hange spoke so nonchalantly that you weren’t actually sure if they were speaking to you or to themselves in the star sunglasses they’d put on.

“Pardon?”

“I use they/them pronouns.” Hange gave a wide grin, peaking around the spinning display.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” You had hoped your face wasn’t showing how uncomfortable you were feeling. You hated making mistakes like that. You hoped that they weren’t annoyed with you for that mistake. Based on the smile they had on their face, they weren’t bothered at all.

“No problem.” Hange was still smiling and there was something so contagious about the way they smiled. Something about the open-mouthed grin that made it seem like they were constantly half a step away from giggling that always got you to smile back.

“They are looking for this book.” You looked back down at the order form, still smiling. “I need your signature to order it.”

Your boss took the form and signed it, handing it back to you and you couldn’t help but stand there watching Hange trying on another ridiculous pair of sunglasses. This time, it was a Halloween themed pair with one square lens and one circle. It really was the stupidest addition to the bookstore, but that day was the first time you were happy that it was there. You laughed to yourself as you watched them try to realign the glasses in a spot they didn’t fit in.

“Mx. Zoe.” Hange looked up and skipped over to you.

“I will place the order today and for most books, they come in after a couple days, but since yours is quite specific, it may take a week or two.” You explained everything to them and gave them their receipt. “Please make sure you bring your receipt in when you come to pick it up.”

You watched their attention move from you to the receipt to the card on the table. They slowly reached up and picked up the card, reading the text and flipping it over.

“You guys repair old books?” Their eyes moved up to you and you nodded.

“It’s another one of our specialties.”

“I have a couple old books I’ve been scared to read because of how fragile they were when I bought them.” They put the card in their bag.

“There are some limits to what we’re able to fix, but if you bring them in, I can take a look.” You smiled widely, hoping to see them smile once more before they left.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then.” They flashed a wide smile and that time you actually did laugh. A laugh which you covered up with a cough and scratched your head, pretending to tend to something on your computer. You watched Hange walk out and realized you had something to look forward to.

The next day Hange came in with a crate of books. You smiled at the cuteness of the little huff they gave after setting the books on the counter in front of you. Your smile quickly dropped as you saw the books they had.

“Where did you get these?” Your eyes were wide. Most were books that you would never be able to get your hands on, order form or not.

“Lots of different places,” they explained as you reached your hands in to pull out the first book.

“Do you collect these?” You couldn’t take your eyes away from the books. They were in pretty bad shape, but the fact that they owned these was amazing.

“Some of them are books I’ve been wanting to read. Others I’ve read online and really wanted to own the original.” You could feel the smile on their face, but found it so hard to look away from the original binding.

“These are amazing.” You smiled, finally looking at them. They were just as excited as you and their smile widened even further.

“This one’s my favorite.” Hange reached in the crate and pulled out a severely crumbling textbook. “Vicki is in back shape.”

“You named your book Vicki?”

“It’s a Victorian era medical textbook detailing surgery of the time. What would you name it?” Hange explained.

“I wasn’t questioning the name choice, but the fact that you—never mind.” You chuckled to yourself. “Vicki is a great name.”

“Thanks, Fuzzy.”

“Fuzzy?” “Your beard. It looks like it’s coming in nicely.”

“Thanks.” You rubbed your two-day old stubble, a little embarrassed that someone noticed you forgot to shave and a lot embarrassed that Hange seemed to like it. Maybe embarrassed was the wrong word. Hange never lingered though and just after complimenting you, they moved on to the next thing that caught their attention. In this case it was the receipt you handed them and they started signing.

“I imagine this will take some time to get through.”

“For this amount, it will probably take at least two weeks,” you started, “We are closed on Mondays which is when we get the book repairs done.”

“Like a vets office.” Hange smiled and gave you the signed receipt. “Spaying and neutering on Wednesdays.”

“Like a vets office.” You nodded, laughing to yourself at the connections they always made.

“I’ll see you around, Fuzzy.” They waved good-bye and walked out.

From that day, you always looked forward to any exchange you were able to have with Hange. It was always a good day when they came into the shop and each time they came in, they would stay longer and longer chatting with you about new books that came into the store or new books that they acquired. You often wondered what their apartment looked like considering how many books they talked about.

Seeing their smile as they walked into the bookstore on that rainy Friday night made you really happy that there was still twenty minutes before closing. Hange stepped inside and shook the extra water off their umbrella before bringing it inside. They threw the hood of their raincoat back and smiled.

“Heya, Fuzzy.”

“Hey, Hange. You here to check the status of that book you ordered?” You leaned over the counter and smiled at them.

“That, I am.” They took off their raincoat and you watched them fail at hanging it up a couple times before finally getting it to stay on the coat rack. “Please tell me you have some good news for me.”

“I do have some good news.” You watched their face light up in a huge smile. “It’s not about your book though. Apparently, it’s not supposed to rain all weekend.”

“I see what you did there.” They pointed their first finger at you and narrowed their eyes, quickly breaking it with a laugh. “Good thing I don’t get disappointed easily.”

“One of my favorite things about you.” Hange’s excitement for books always seemed to remind you of your own.

“Got anything good coming in?” They hopped up to sit on the counter next to where you were leaning, something the boss hated them doing. Hange always did it anyway and you found it incredibly endearing.

“Not this week.” You stood up straight, turning yourself to lean against the counter. “Most if it is stuff you already have.”

“Aw shucks.” They took the inventory chart from you to take a look. Another thing the boss didn’t like, but you found adorable. You watched the way their glasses slipped down their nose as they scanned over the list. “Not bad. You guys are actually starting to become a specialty store.”

You laughed loudly at their comment. Since the beginning, Hange was always criticizing the lack of textbooks that were offered in the store. Your boss liked to focus on rare fiction, but Hange loved non-fiction more than anything. Textbooks on ethics, medicine, dinosaurs, you name it. It was always the first complaint out of their mouth when they checked the inventory.

“I don’t think anyone’s collection will come close to yours.” You watched as Hange smiled shyly. It didn’t take you long to realize that no matter how much you tried to compliment how they looked, they never noticed it as a compliment. That is until one day you commended their commitment to building a library in their spare bedroom and the blush that reached their cheeks that day was on your mind for weeks. You always tried to find ways to flatter them through their achievements after that.

“Such is the life of a crazy professor.” They lifted their hands, palms up, in an expressive display and you laughed. “Any plans tonight?”

“I have this art show I got invited to.” You shrugged it off, not sure if Hange liked art so you didn’t want to seem too interested. “I uh… I’ve never really been into art, but this one seemed good.”

“That sounds like fun.” You watched them kick their feet lightly forward and there was a small voice in your head that told you to invite them to the show. You didn’t want them to feel obligated, but this was a chance to bring your work friendship to possibly something more. For all Hange knew, you lived in this bookstore.

You both heard a noise outside and watched as a little kid tripped on the sidewalk. His mom picked him up and kept walking.

“I hope he’s okay,” Hange whispered. You were pretty sure your window to ask them to the art show closed. It would be weird if you asked them about it now. You sighed.

“What about your plans?”

“Just going home. Maybe watch a documentary.” They’re just going home. Dang it. It would have been perfect for you to ask them. You tried not to beat yourself up over it and instead enjoy the short time you got with them before you would have to leave.

You were both laughing and joking as you normally did when they walked into the shop that you completely forgot to keep track of the time. You caught a glimpse of their watch and saw that the bookstore should have closed thirty minutes ago.

“Oh!” You jumped up. “I have to close up.”

“Oh man, sorry.” Hange jumped off the counter. “Here I am, just talking away.”

You moved to the back counter and flicked off all the lights and shut down the computer systems. Hange moved up front and you met them by the door as they put their raincoat back on and opened their umbrella. You locked up and turned to them.

“Well, enjoy your art showing, Fuzzy.”

“Thanks.” You smiled, not feeling as excited to go now that you didn’t ask Hange to join. “Enjoy your documentary.”

They nodded and turned around and you watched them walk through the crowd of people. You were going to turn around and start walking to the showing, but you couldn’t get yourself to move. You should have asked them. What a wasted opportunity. You sighed again before your feet started moving forward, not in the direction of the showing, but in the direction of Hange. When you realized what you were doing, you started running.

“Hange!” You called after them and ran even faster to catch up. They turned around at their name and looked at you, confusion crossing their face. “Do you… maybe want to come with me? I’m pretty sure I can bring a guest.”

The realization that you just asked them to hang out with you outside of your bookstore hit you quickly and your cheeks started heating up, your hand instinctively moving to the back of your head and you laughed at yourself. A smile also grew on Hange’s lips.

“I think I’d like to.” They nodded, putting their arm out for you. You closed your umbrella and took their arm with one hand and held their umbrella with the other. You reached for your phone to message Fenmore quickly.

[Fen, is there any way you can add a plus one for me at the art show? I’m bringing someone :) ]

[You have a date!!!]

[It’s not really a date.]

[At least I don’t think it is.]

[I don’t know 😩]

[It seems like a date! You both are in]

[Good luck!]

You stuffed your phone back in your pocket and turned to Hange and started walking to the art gallery. It wasn’t far, just a couple blocks away from the bookstore, but you couldn’t stop thinking that this was possibly a date and it made you so nervous which made the couple blocks feel like miles. When you did finally get to the door, you breathed a sigh of relief and walked inside.

“I think there’s a couple artists at this showing,” you said, reaching for a pamphlet. “I don’t really know much about many of them.”

“Me neither.” They smiled at you. “I may love studying, but art wasn’t really on the top of my list.”

You started with the first art piece in the pamphlet, standing in front of it and waiting. You tried to look around and see what everyone else was doing. This plan of getting to spend more time with Hange was becoming a fail because you had no idea about art. You didn’t want to say anything weird if they were liking it, but you really didn’t think you could just silently look at all these pieces. Honestly, some of them were weird.

“This one’s nice.” You turned to them and smiled.

“Yes, very nice.” They smiled.

“What’s it called?” You leaned forward to look at the information card. “Abandoning All Hope… ah.”

“Lovely.” Hange nodded and you swallowed hard. This was bad. This was really bad. You both moved to the next one, the artwork looking a little happier.

“This one looks bright.” You turned back to Hange and they read the title card.

“It’s called Basking in Sadness.”

“Jesus.” You rubbed your temples and closed your eyes.

“According to the description,” They started, “the artist was sick as a child and often had to stay inside. So when he would see sunny days and be stuck inside, he felt sad.”

“I suppose that makes it a bit better.” You scratched your head. “Still sad.”

You both continued and hoped that the art would get better at making conversation naturally flow between you both. It was weird how well you conversed in the bookstore, but now you were really struggling with what to say. You walked up and the next piece looked like a murder scene.

“Gosh, I really have no idea what any of this means.” You finally admitted. “Sorry, I’m really not as big into this kind of art.”

“Oh good!” Hange laughed. “I’ve had no idea of anything since we walked in.”

You look quickly to them and smiled.

“I thought the bench out front was part of the exhibit until I saw someone sit on it.” You both laughed and a man walked up to you with a tray and glasses of champagne. You turned to Hange and they nodded, grabbing a glass.

“Well, to having no idea what we’re doing here.” You held up your glass and Hange clinked it and you both drank quickly.

After the first glass of champagne hit, you started feeling a lot more comfortable. The artwork still made no sense to either of you, but you were having fun. When the man came back around a short while later, you grabbed another glass and another glass and another glass. Before you knew it, you and Hange were five glasses in and finally the art was starting to make sense to you.

“Wait, wait, this one. Do this one.” Hange stood next to the artwork giggling and you rubbed your chin.

“Hmm, it’s definitely about a mother.” You had no right to be as confident as you were when Hange looked at the title card, turning back to you with a surprised look on their face.

“A Mother’s Touch. How did you do that?” They couldn’t believe it. You grabbed Hange’s arm and pulled them next to you, pointing at the picture.

“You see all those swirls look like arms. Like a hug.”

“I do not see that at all.” They laughed. “Do the next one!”

You stood in front of the painting and thought about it, but your eyes kept drifting over to Hange. They weren’t looking at you which only made it harder to focus on the painting. If they could see you, then you’d have a reason to look away, but their eyes were glued to the artwork and yours were glued to them.

“There’s no way you’re going to get this one.” They leaned back up from looking at the title card and faced you and you quickly looked back at the painting. “No way at all.”

“Something with a snake.”

“How!?” They put their palm on their forehead and smiled. “Snake’s Path. How did you know?”

“Come on.” You laughed. “Let’s go to the next one.

“Wait, I’m getting more champagne.” They started moving towards the bar. “The one they’re passing out now is cheap. I want the good stuff.”

“Make sure you bring me a glass.”

“I’m bringing the whole bottle, Fuzzy.” You laughed and went to look at the next artwork while you waited. It was a short wait and you felt a tap on your shoulder.

“Excuse me, sir?” You turned to see a man standing behind you.

“Yes?”

“Is that your date?” The man pointed to Hange and you looked over his shoulder to see them at the bar. You started thinking about them being your date and it made you smile this time, your nerves from earlier completely calmed with alcohol. Hange was still at the bar and you watched them debating with the bartender. It really reminded you of how great they are. Hange never got scared of confrontation like you did.

“Yep.” You smiled proudly. “That’s them.”

“I’d like to let you know that she is causing quite the—”

“They. Their pronoun is they.” You corrected.

“Well they are trying to steal alcohol from the bar. We’re going to have to ask you both to leave.”

It took everything you had no to burst out laughing on the spot, but you managed to hold it in enough to make it to Hange and you both walked outside. Once outside, you both started laughing hysterically, holding your belly as you tried to catch your breath. It was nice outside now. The rain had stopped and it left the air fresh and cool which felt great against your heated cheeks. You both stopped laughing and looked at each other.

“It’s a nice night.” Hange smiled.

“Yeah. Thanks for coming with me.” You smiled back, taking a deep breath.

“Anytime, Fuzzy.”

You didn’t want to say good night. You weren’t ready to leave yet. There really wasn’t anything else to do though. It was probably nearing eleven at that point and you weren’t sure if Hange had things to do in the morning. But you still didn’t want to say good night just yet.

“Do you want to go to the bookstore?” You asked without thinking. “We got a new shipment you might like.”

Hange smiled, a strange look in their eyes as they looked at you.

“You liar.”

“What?”

“I saw the shipment earlier,” they explained, “You showed it to me and told me I wouldn’t like any of it.”

“Oh, right.” You looked down, laughing at your ridiculous attempt to spend more time with them.

“But I would still like to go to the bookstore with you.” You looked at them quickly.

“You would?” You couldn’t hold back your surprised face at that.

“Lead the way, Fuzzy!” Hange linked arms with you and you both walked back the couple blocks to the bookstore. This time, the walk was a lot faster.

You unlocked the door and were about to step inside when you realized that Hange wasn’t with you anymore. It made no sense considering they linked their arm with yours. You leaned around the corner, looking for them, but they weren’t there. It was possible that they changed their mind, but they didn’t know how to tell you and just went home. That didn’t really seem like them though.

“Fuzzy!” You turned around and saw Hange running over to you with a bottle of convenience store wine and you both laughed.

“After you.” You gestured them inside and started looking for some cups. You only had a couple small dixie cups, but they worked well enough. Hange poured a glass for each of you and you tapped your cups together, spilling wine on the floor.

“So how many years before I get to walk into your bookstore?” They asked. At first you misunderstood, thinking they were talking about the bookstore you both were in.

“Ah.” You smiled. “I think it’s a while before that.”

Your dream of owning your own bookstore came up in conversation with Hange more often than you ever thought it would ever. They genuinely seemed interested in it and seemed to be your biggest cheerleader when it came to opening it. Normally when people would ask you about it, you felt rushed and like you were behind. Almost as if they were saying ‘you still haven’t opened it yet?’ but not with Hange. Never with Hange. They made it seem like you were right on track and your dream would be here sooner than you thought.

You looked over at them and smiled. It was amazing how pretty they were. You definitely noticed it the first time they walked into the bookstore last summer, but you wondered if you were the only one to see it. There’s no way. There was no way that someone as intelligent and funny and kind and so beautiful didn’t constantly get asked out. You must just be lucky enough to catch them on a free day.

“You know what Fuzzy?” You looked over at them as they spoke, their eyes still looking down at the empty cup of wine. “I’m glad you asked me to the art showing.”

They giggled a little to themselves, possibly remembering what a hot mess it was inside the gallery. Or perhaps building the courage to say what looked to be sitting on the edge of their mind.

“I don’t get asked to do much these days. Not since moving to the city.” Hange hiccupped and you tried to understand how that was possible. “But I’m having a lot of fun. Thank you.”

You weren’t really sure what to do. You really couldn’t believe it. You managed to smile when they looked up at you.

“It’s my pleasure.” You stared at them, maybe a bit too long, but you couldn’t look away. Hange’s eyes were lidded, tired from all the alcohol you both had. But seeing their drunken smile and hearing their small hiccups had your heart beating quickly. They reached forward and put their hand on yours and you looked down at it. “Oh! I wanted to show you something.”

You jumped up from the ground and helped pull Hange up with you. You walked towards the backroom and halfway there realized you were holding Hange’s hand as you pulled them behind you. It was so soft and so warm and you were thankful for the alcohol letting you do things that you normally would second guess at every moment.

“It’s up there.” You dropped their hand and did your best to reach the top shelf, barely touching the bottom of the books you wanted. “Maybe if you try.”

“We’re the same size.” They laughed.

“Oh right.” You were both laughing and they handed you a shoe and you grabbed it, trying to shimmy the books down. “Wait, whose shoe is this?”

When you turned to look at them they were smiling and you looked down at their feet and couldn’t hold back your laughter at their feet missing a shoe.

“Here, climb on my shoulders.”

“Great idea.” They hopped up and reached for the books. This time they were able to grab them and slowly pull them from the shelf.

Your balance was surprisingly good considering how intoxicated you were. You were looking up and focusing on making sure Hange got the right books. As soon as you saw them grab it, they handed them down to you, one-by-one, and you set them on the table next to you.

“Last one!” Hange placed the book in your hands and you set it down. They threw their hands up out of excitement and you finally lost your balance as they moved back and forth. “Oh!”

Hange started to fall backwards and you quickly bent forward, giving them a way to hop down as you grabbed them before they fell. You managed to catch your balance and Hange fell into your arms and you both fell backwards onto the floor, Hange on top of you.

Their face was so close to yours and you reached up to fix their glasses, smiling at them. You couldn’t help but notice how warm they were, how soft their body felt up against yours, how much prettier they were up close and how badly you wanted to kiss them.

“Hange.” You took a breath, not sure if you were going to be able to do it. “I’m going to kis—”

Before you could finish your sentence, Hange bent down quickly, pushing their lips against yours. At first your eyes widened from the sudden movement, but then when you realized what was happening, you slowly closed them, your arms moving around their back and up to their face.

You rotated your head a bit, trying to get a better angle so your noses weren’t smashed against each other and your tongue slipped out to brush against their lips. Hange opened their mouth and brought their hands to your hair, their long fingers delicately moving along your scalp and you sighed into their mouth. The butterflies in your stomach were going crazy and you couldn’t believe how good it felt.

Hange slipped their tongue into your mouth and you moved your hand to their hair. You had always noticed how silky and shiny their hair was, but feeling it in your hands was a whole different story. You rolled yourself over so you laid on top of them and Hange let out a gasp, pulling back so they could laugh at the sudden movement.

They really were so completely dazzling and you watched them, smiling yourself, until they stopped laughing and looked at you.

“You’re beautiful.” You brushed a hair out of their eye and smiled. “I suppose a stepladder would have been safer.”

“It wouldn’t have been as fun.” They wrapped their arms around you and pressed their lips against yours.

[chacusha]

Quodo dynamics

So basically, when I get really into a pairing, my mind tends to obsessively attempt to catalog exactly what I like so much about the pairing. Usually the result of this obsessive cataloguing is a ship manifesto (so yeah, that is probably what is going to fall out of this eventually). But for now, just some scattered thoughts.

Basically, I think the reason Quodo draws me so much is that Quark and Odo have a very complicated relationship, and those different layers to their relationship, all stacked on top of each other gives one so much to think about and so much to play around with and poke at. It’s like candy to my mind.

One layer: Cat and mouse / adversaries / detective + criminal. Odo is the chief of security aboard Deep Space Nine. Quark is a dodgy businessman who’s trying to make profit however he can, even if it means doing legally dodgy things. So one layer of their relationship is that they’re engaged in this antagonistic game where each one getting what they want means thwarting the other. There is almost a cartoonish feel to this aspect of their relationship, like Tom and Jerry, or Elmer Fudd and Bugs Bunny, or Wile E. Coyote and the Roadrunner. Odo is always trying to get Quark, and Quark is always trying to do crimes for profit without alienating Odo/Sisko/the DS9 administration TOO much that it lands him in hot water. While this often makes them “enemies” there is also clearly a playful element to it where each action one character takes stimulates and challenges the other.

Another layer: Hatred / clashing personalities / opposing moral codes. A bit more seriously, though, Odo and Quark have not just roles that regularly put them into conflict, but they actually seriously just hate each other. On a more personal level, they have very different ideas of who/what is worthy of respect and the other person isn’t it. Odo is a lawful neutral “law and order” type who basically looks down on Quark’s criminality and trashy notions of entertainment. Quark is materialistic hedonist and finds Odo’s heartless “stick in the mud” personality offputting, and his rigid adherence to the law, while it can be admirable, it can also cause him to be callous toward and inhumane in his treatment of people. Here, too, though, there is a playful element to their dynamic where each of them delights in pissing the other off. For example, Odo is generally a pretty dour and grumpy guy, but when he does show mirth, it’s often at Quark’s expense -- when Quark is having a rough time or is in a jam, for example. And Quark is a troll who loves saying things that he knows will irritate Odo.

Layer 2.5: Mutual obsession. Both of them have their own reasons why they fixate on the other. Odo is a workaholic who only enjoys his work. Watching and surveilling Quark is his work, and he does it with a delight he rarely takes in anything else. And it’s true that Quark likes to irritate Odo, and you know what is the best way of irritating an emotionally repressed guy who hates having fun? Flirting with him. Constantly. All the time.

Yet another layer: Old friends. BUT ALSO, these two go way back. They’re the two main holdovers from the regime change on Terok Nor/Deep Space Nine and they’ve known each other for a long time. And not all their interactions are antagonistic. They’ve been known to cooperate with each other. Even hang out with each other. And also, you don’t spend that much time evading/trying to nab the other without understanding and being able to predict them on a deep level, so Quark and Odo aren’t just adversaries but they’re also genuinely close with their own form of rapport. Later episodes have an undertone of romantic feelings (see next layer) but even if you read them platonically, then it’s undeniable that Quark and Odo sometimes acknowledge that, yes, they are friends. They support each other, they give each other advice, and they sometimes express gratitude for that support (albeit in weird ways!).

More layer: Latent romantic feelings??? On Quark’s side, it’s easy to read his feelings for Odo as romantic. Pining, even. Quark flirts with him a lot -- maybe that’s just a form of entertainment for Quark; there’s always plausible deniability. When Odo gets with Kira, Quark’s interactions with him start to read like pining -- “I gave him so much of me and did he ever notice?” kind of thing, but it never quite reaches the level of text. In any case, if Quark did have feelings for Odo, it’d be hard for him to admit it because it doesn’t really go with his playboy/hedonistic sort of demeanor. On Odo’s side... Odo has zero emotional maturity. If he did have feelings for Quark, he isn’t capable of noticing them. You can easily read him as also carrying romantic feelings for Quark that he doesn’t yet know how to process.

Yet more layer: Protectiveness. Odo is a gruff security officer who is also a superhuman being that is pretty much invulnerable to most things. His job is to keep people safe and he’s a pretty intimidating guy (and he knows it). Quark is a fairly gender-conforming Ferengi which means his sense of masculinity is tied up in how much money he makes and how much sex with pretty women he has, and not at all in how bravely he faces danger. So when he’s in trouble, he’s not at all ashamed to react to it by screaming in a high-pitched voice and hiding, and in fact, he hates violent confrontation and often explicitly denounces it as barbaric and unnecessary. Oh, but also, his shady under-the-table dealings means he often has to deal with sketchy characters who might be tempted to use violence to get their way. It’s a great setup for having Odo have to save Quark and rescue him from danger as, like, just a normal part of doing his job. This means that, even if they DIDN’T have all those interesting dynamics I listed above, they’d still have a promisingly shippy dynamic just by virtue of this aspect.

Maybe I’m missing a couple of other aspects of Quark and Odo’s relationship, but for now, that’s all I can think of. In summary, Quodo basically functions on one level as enemy to lovers (complete with many of the fun tropes that are possible with that), and on another level as friends to lovers (with its own set of tropes), and on another level as just openly romantic flirtation, and on another as clueless pining -- it manages to be all of that at the same time, somehow. And that’s amazing.

[seanmrheath]

Moving like a Swimmer*

*This is a repost of an article published by SIDELINE - https://sidelinestories.org/

“You love it. Your heart is in it. If you leave you really miss it, unless you hate it.”

– Hellen, aged 15

Watching eight of the world’s top athletes stand up on starting blocks for a high level competitive swimming race, be it the Olympics, Canada Games, International University Games, or other international and national competitions, can be an exhilarating spectacle that lasts anywhere between 30 seconds to 15 minutes. Like any competitive sport this neglects the excessive commitment and the millions of kilometers swum in practice to get the chance to stand up on those blocks. For youth swimmers, the embodied experience of training daily and competing monthly and the social worlds in and around the pool may or may not stack up to internationally ranked competitive times. Many youth swimmers have hopes for the future in their chosen sport. Yet, they are also realistic about their social and sporting goals, commitments, and sacrifices that it takes to be a top-ranking athlete. Looking at youth’s experiences in competitive swim clubs anthropologically provides space where youth swimmer’s perspectives on their bodies and their social lives can be compared and contrasted. The resulting differences and similarities that may be observed among and between swimmers can help broaden our understandings of an anthropology of youth sports.

In many sports, scholars and anthropologists such as Marcel Mauss and Greg Downey have argued that training the body with various techniques and disciplines in mind encompasses a seriousness in the embodied experiences and play of athletes. Embodiment here loosely refers to the ways in which people may develop and exhibit certain bodily movements and the ways those people express and understand those movements. Competitive swimming, like gymnastics or figure skating, requires a dedication to training in the early years of childhood and youth that stands out in comparison to other sports. In previous work I have posed the argument that play in the water at an early age can give an advantage to swimmers later in their careers. Something as innocuous as holding one’s breath underwater or spinning in circles while submerged can develop a ‘feel’ for the medium of water in a way that skating on a frozen pond or homemade rink can help develop a kid’s skating ability. If these kids didn’t really love the sport of swimming they wouldn’t be putting in six days a week of practices and spending entire weekends hanging out on pool decks at swim meets, or so one might assume. Yet even those youths who are attached to competitive swimming for the social and fitness aspects of the sport are able to describe their experience of moving in water.

Scholars such as Jan Dutkiewicz use the term ‘beta’ to describe rock climbers’ reenacted physical performance of a rock climb. This term also encompasses the individual experiences of each rock climber and how they interact with the whole climb and the individual hand and foot holds involved. From my own fieldwork observations on the edge of the pool deck with competitive youth swimmers over a four-month period in 2015-2016, I noticed that swimmers express a similar physical movement vocabulary of ‘feel,’ the embodied experience of swimming using the water as a solid object to ‘anchor’ their hands and forearms and ‘pull’ themselves to the end of the pool. These are not equivalent performances, yet in both cases to understand what is being communicated in these various movements can only be achieved through shared practice, either attempting the same rock climb or swimming the same race. ‘Feel’ or ‘feel for the water’ is both the technical ways swimmers moves in, through, and with the water as well as a metaphorical window onto the relationships in and social environment of swim clubs.

Even while continuing to engage with the slightly ambiguous and shifting nature of ‘feel’ for their sport, it takes more than just a hyper-competitive attitude to keep these kids coming back year after year while continuing to improve and push their physical boundaries. Over time a love for the sport and a closeness with swimming peers may keep an athlete involved in a club, either pursuing a career in completive swimming or for general fitness and sociality. Even youth swimmers who have had a successful competitive year do not necessarily go on to be at the top of their game the next year. They may choose to focus on their studies at school (elementary or high school) or put more time into other sports, clubs, and social groups outside of the pool. The move into high school sees a lot of kids drop out of competitive club swimming due to the high rate of other sports, clubs, activities, and chances for socializing that the diversity their home town engenders. Social pressures at school to conform to certain styles of masculinity or femininity, or for that matter to ascribe to either, can also be barriers for girls and boys continuing with sports as both C.J. Pascoe and Ann Travers have argued.

Ultimately, the youths involved in competitive swimming may learn specialized forms of movement that are constantly being adapted and shifting with the changes in these youths’ own bodies and the knowledge of their sport. This learning and adapting happens within clubs, which are social groups with people invested in the competitive sport of swimming to greater or lesser degrees. With the social support of peers, parents, and coaches, being able to train and swim at ever increasing speeds may become less of a hurdle for athletes. Feeling the water can be used as an apt metaphor for beginning to look at these social and emotional encounters youth swimmers experience on a daily basis while also training their bodies. Putting all this together may create situations where the hopes and aspirations of young swimmers to compete on the international stage can be fostered in environments where the embodied experience of swimming is as important to the growth of young athletes as is their sociality with others in and outside of the sport.

References Downey, Greg 2005   Learning Capoeria: Lessons in Cunning from an Afro-Brazilian Art. Oxford: Oxford University Press.

Dutkiewicz, Jan 2015 Pretzel Logic: An Embodied Ethnography of a Rock Climb. Space and Culture 18(1): 25–38.

Heath, Sean 2017  Bodies in Water: Embodiment, Social Worlds, and Fluid Motion in Competitive Age-Group Swim Clubs. Master of Arts, Simon Fraser University.

Mauss, Marcel 1973 Techniques of the Body. Economy and Society 2(1): 70–88.

Pascoe, C. J. 2012 Dude, You’re a Fag: Masculinity and Sexuality in High School. Berkeley: University of California Press.

Travers, Ann 2016 Transgender and Gender-Nonconforming Kids and the Binary Requirements of Sport Participation in North America. In Child’s Play: Sport in Kids’ Worlds. Michael A. Messner and Michela Musto, eds. Pp. 179–201. New Brunswick: Rutgers University Press.