#and i have to sit here resisting terrible impulses. sigh... i just neef my brain to stop being broken
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#ehehehe self sabotage my beloved#when i desperately dont want to do a social event thing that i kno i could just say no to#my brain is like: well it's not enough for u to just not want to do it. ill give u a reason u can't go. ill justify that desire#and i have to sit here resisting terrible impulses. sigh... i just neef my brain to stop being broken#and i dont wanna go to lab lunch tomorrow. i dont want to awkwardly engage with people. ive been such a wet blanket recently everything out#of my mouth is anxiety shrapnal. but i should go. bc i like my lab mates and this is how ppl make memories#how they differentiat one dsy from the next. blah. but i just wanna lay here#idk srry i just feel really weird today. head full of cotton. soul partly outside my body#and i dont know what days im supposed to have off next week. or this week i mean. like is tomorrow a day off?#i dont think so. i think maybe classes are off all week but idk if i still have to work as staff. idk it doesn't matter ill do all the same#stuff anyway. blurr all my days together so i cant remember any of it wjgh specificity#sigh... i still have so much to do#unrelated
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