#and i kept waiting till the end of the game only to see mephisto going on a road trip while we killed lilith (for now?) 😭

[ligninn]

I know I'm reeeeally late to the party, but I just finished Diablo 4 and I have… questions. First of all, the game looks incredible, and I loved the aesthetics, the scenery, the character designs—they were all really well done. However, the story felt a bit "meh."

Since Diablo 3 (or maybe even 2—tbh I really don't remember D2 lore; it's been ages since I've played), the story kept showing us how Heaven, source of light and good, doesn't care about humans or anything related to them, that they just mind their own business with Hell. They see humans as abominations since they have the darkness in them too. Again since D3, there's been this yin-yang situation going on, especially seen with Inarius and Lilith. Inarius is an angel corrupted by darkness, mostly by hatred, and Lilith is the daughter of hatred "corrupted" by love and care. She was a mother, maybe not the best for sure, but it really looked like she cared when her son got killed. Especially since Inarius was the killer and his reason was so fucking stupid. He really thought killing his son would get his ass back to heaven- i can't with this man... We see more humanity in Lilith than any other "villain" we've had so far, I believe. I'm not saying she's perfect of course, her ways were brutal obviously but she only talks about giving people the freedom to do whatever, suggests that they're free to do sin but never really gives any details on what a sin is. In the end it's the people choosing to do evil. She's saying that no religion, especially one following a corrupted angel, can show them the way to live and act. AND SHE WAS RIGHT! But why was she doing all this? What was in it for her? Did she just want to send a big "fuck off" to both Heaven and Hell, or was she craving power and wanted to be the sole ruler?

That's my biggest issue with the main story. We never get to learn. We were never given a chance to really talk and consider her points, which mostly made sense, btw. But instead, for some reason, we were considering more of what Mephisto, a damn Prime Evil, had to say? Like I said, the story so far had a yin-yang theme, so I thought we would dive deeper into this with less prejudice, but it felt so superficial, unlike the theme itself. Because it was literally just Lilith = bad while everything about her was mostly gray. And I think they wasted a lot of potential there :/

[facets-and-rainbows]

Blue Exorcist: Spy Game - Yukio in Wonderland (part 5)

The fifth (and final!) part of the crackiest crack I’ve ever read in an officially sanctioned book, dragged kicking and screaming into the Anglosphere for your viewing pleasure.

If you thought Yuki(k)o was having a rough time before, just wait till MEPHISTO gets involved...

Previous parts: 1 2 3 4

“You mean it’s…a dream? All of this?”

“Yes, a dream.”

Faced with Yukio’s suspicious gaze, Mephisto nodded dramatically.

“But not the same sort of dream your kind usually have when you sleep at night. This is a dream caused by demons.”

“Demons?” Yukio raised an eyebrow behind his glasses.

“Yes,” Mephisto nodded gleefully. “There’s a type of demon called Húdié, kin of Beelzebub, King of Insects. They look like normal butterflies at first glance, but they have a troublesome taste for trickery…They parasitize humans and give them nightmares, so they can feed off of the victim’s negative emotions—embarrassment, shock, hatred, despair, and so on.”

“You’re telling me these Húdié are parasitizing me?”

Even as Yukio said it, his mind went to the insect sounds he heard when he woke up, and the black butterflies he kept seeing everywhere.

Could those have been—?

 “Well, it’s not as though they’ll take your life. Why not think of this as a rare opportunity to experience—“

“How can I get back to my world right now?”

“My goodness,” Mephisto sighed at Yukio, who was glaring at him without the slightest hint of wanting to listen to what he had to say. “It’s really quite simple. You just need to let them wake up.”

“…” Hearing this, Yukio hesitated a little. Then he started pinching his own cheeks, forcing his eyelids open…anything to give himself the right stimulus.

Mephisto grinned, his eyes narrowing to threads as he did it.

“Um, I’ll ask just in case, Okumura-sensei, but what exactly are you doing?”

“Hm? Well, I was trying to wake up, like you said…” Yukio answered hesitantly. Mephisto immediately burst out laughing. He clutched his stomach and rolled around, paralyzed with hilarity.

“Wha-?!”

“Oh, my apologies. That isn’t what I meant. I meant you need to wake the demons up. Hehehe.”

Yukio looked at Mephisto, who still couldn’t contain his laughter, with an indescribable expression.

Mephisto stopped cackling like a monster and added, “In other words, you need to make the Húdié realize that they won’t get anything out of this. Act as though you don’t see this nightmare as a nightmare—quite the contrary! You love this situation and enjoy it to the fullest. This will deprive the Húdié of their sustenance, forcing them to release you and seek out another host.”

“Enjoy this situation?”

Yukio’s face twitched subconsciously.

There was no way he could do it.

But if he wanted to get out of this ridiculous world, he was going to have to try.

He clenched his teeth and braced himself.

“What…exactly…do I have to do?” he asked, swallowing his self-esteem.

Mephisto had apparently been waiting for this moment. He took a sketchbook out of a desk drawer.

The first page said “SDE5” in massive letters. Yukio raised an eyebrow and asked, “SDE5? What does that stand for? System Director…Enterprises?”

“No, it stands for Song and Dance Exorcists.”

“Come again?”

It’s the name of an upcoming idol group based around a singing, dancing, all-female exorcist unit! ♪ The members are Ren Shima, Ryuko Suguro, Koneko Miwa, Rin Okumura…and you!”

“…”

“The twins are SDE’s biggest draw. Plus, you exorcise demons and can even work with hymns and sutras. Oh, and the producer will be me, Mephisto☆ Looking forward to it!” Mephisto giggled cutely.

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to refuse,” came Yukio’s cold, immediate reply.

Mephisto’s response was like a slap to the face. “So I take it you’re prepared to go on living in this dream forever?”

“!!”

“You could always try waiting until the Húdié get their fill, but alas, they can be quite the gluttons and there’s no telling when that will happen. Will you endure this world until then? Can you?”

“…” Yukio was at a loss for words.

It hurt to admit it, but he did want to avoid that outcome. Anything to keep from being taken over by Yukiko…

It’s the only way, he thought, and he made his bitter choice.

“If I join this ‘SDE5’…can you guarantee I’ll be able to escape this place?” he asked, his voice shaking with disgust.

Mephisto nodded and said “Yes,” grinning ear-to-ear.

He casually flipped to the next page of the sketchbook, revealing a most likely handmade illustration of Yukio and the other four wearing cute, positively idol-like outfits. It was creepily well drawn.

“You’ll start as an indie idol group, gather a phenomenal amount of support, and go major. The group will gradually grow from just the five of you to a grand total of forty-nine. As their leader, you’ll keep the members together, sometimes butting heads with them, sometimes crying with them, always strengthening the group’s unity. You’ll bond with your fans at meet and greets, sell CDs of your newest single…and when you finally defeat your twin sister and greatest rival to rise to the top of the popularity polls, you’ll give a tearful thank you speech…and then you should be able to return safely to your world.”

“… By the way…How many days is this going to take?”

“Oh, I’d say about five years?”

“THAT’S TOO LONG!!”

Yukio slammed his fist down on the desk in anger, causing Mephisto to jump back in overdramatic surprise.

“I can’t say I’m impressed by you yelling at a lady like that, Okumura-sensei. Are you sure you’re getting enough calcium in your diet?”

“Urgh…I’m sorry…It was unlike me to lose my temper like that, and…wait, what lady are you talking about?”

“What do you mean? I’m right in front of you.”

“Huh?” Yukio stared wide-eyed at Mephisto, who was sighing wistfully.

“…I’m sorry. You really don’t look any different from usual to me.”

“What are you saying? I’d expect better from you, Okumura-sensei. Of course I’m different. Just look.” Mephisto stroked her own chin.

It was true, the goatee was gone. Yukio started to feel lightheaded.

“So…having no beard makes you a woman?”

“Well, gender doesn’t mean much to demons in the first place. We can take any number of forms just by using different vessels, after all. But enough about me. We should be focusing on your Húdié problem right now, shouldn’t we?”

Yukio was clearly making a weird face, but he answered “Yes” to Mephisto’s sudden sane question. Mephisto set the sketchbook down on the desk and leaned back in the chair lazily.

“So, if we set the SDE5 idea aside for now and try to think of a way for you to more quickly experience the joys of your life as a woman…” she began, smiling with her eyes. Yukio leaned forward with an earnest look on his face.

Mephisto, who was gazing at Yukio in amusement, clapped her hands and said:

“Come work at the luxury hostess club Faust. You can start today!”

“What?!”

“For your stage name…let’s see…we’ll call you Yukkii after your real name Yukiko. You should aim to become the number one cabaret girl there.”

“…”

“I’ll stay by your side to teach you all you need to know about entertaining customers. With your looks you could become number one in three—no, two months. Oh, and when you wake up from the dream only two minutes or so will have passed in your time, so there’s no need to worry. You won’t end up like Rip van Winkle,” Mephisto announced with a smile.

As Yukio stood motionless, rooted to the spot, Mephisto snapped her fingers and held up an SLR camera.

“We’ll just take your cast photos for now. Let’s see…You have such big breasts, we can’t not take advantage of that. How about a shot where you rest your chin on both hands, so that it emphasizes your cleavage?

Yukio instinctively edged away from the camera’s gaze.

Mephisto, on the other hand, stood up from her chair and started edging closer.

“Come now, your expression looks so stiff! Smile, smile!”

“…”

“Hmm…I suppose you are the sort of overly straight-laced, studious type that’s lacking in raw sex appeal. Maybe we should be bold and open up your neckline a little more, go for that gap moe look. …Right, after the headshots we’ll move on to some full-body shots. What do you think of getting down on all fours like a tigress?

“?!”

“Okay, I’m taking it now. Smile, and make it brighter than that! Give me your best smile! Come on! Picture yourself snatching up all that money and recognition from the customers!”

“…N-No…I…”

“Come on, you’re making such an awkward face. Make it cuter, sexier, more devilish! Not like that! We’re not taking a student ID photo here. You’ll never be number one at this rate!

“LIKE ANYONE WOULD EVER EVEN WANT THAT!!”

Yukio finally reached his breaking point. He started shouting—and the world went dark.

He thought he saw the fluttering of that black butterfly, almost lost in the pitch-black darkness…

As he floated through the darkness, Yukio kept thinking, over and over:

I’m done being Yukiko.

I’ve had enough of the world of girls.

Being a boy is what’s right for me.

I want to go back to being a boy as soon as I can…

I miss my male brother and everyone else. I want to go back to my world, the world where I belong.

If I can just go home, I promise…I’ll be manlier than anyone else on the planet.

I’m a man. A man.

“Yuki…Hey, Yuki…Get up already.”

It was his brother’s voice.

It may have sounded like he was yelling from far away, but this time it was definitely his brother’s voice.

“Yuki…Hey…Yuki…”

“Mmmm…” Yukio forced his heavy eyelids open.

The first thing he saw, aside from the bright morning light, was the familiar face of his brother. Not his sister, but his brother.

Is everything back to normal…? But how?

As he asked himself, he came to the conclusion that the Húdié must have finally gotten full off the stress from his final tirade. In a way, you could even say it was all thanks to Mephisto.

“You’re running late, Yukio. We’re supposed to meet up with Suguro and the guys today, remember?”

“Thank goodness…Nii-san, you’re back to—“

Yukio smiled and started to talk, but then he froze.

As it turned out, his brother was completely ripped from the neck down—even a professional bodybuilder would have turned tail and run from him.

 “First we’ll hit the gym, then break for some protein bars, then back to the gym for more strength training, then we’ll get all the protein we need at all-you-can-eat sukiyaki!”

“…”

Yukio boggled vacantly at the muscles of steel wrapped in a martial-arts style white gi (which had the sleeves torn off, for some reason)—at his manly brother.

 Out of the corner of his eye, he could see two Húdié now, fluttering around cheerfully…