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companionjones · 3 years

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What’s In A Name?

Fandom: Kingsman (Movies)

Pairings: Merlin x Reader, BestFriend!Eggsy x Reader

Summary: After a more than troubled past, you work as a free agent, helping good people whenever you can. In your travels, you come across members of a secret service called Kingsman. You help them, but do not trust them. Will anyone be able to change your mind?

Warnings: Canon level cursing and perhaps above canon level violence (it may get dark), torture

Author’s Note: This takes place in a timeline where Harry, Merlin, and Roxie are all alive. Harry is King Arthur, Eggsy is Galahad, and Roxie is Lancelot. Roxie only gets a mention in this one, but I still wanted to bring her back. I hate that she died in the movies. Also, spoiler alert but it has to do with gender identity, Reader eventually gets the codename Morgana. It is traditionally a feminine name, but Roxy does get the codename Lancelot in the movies, so I figured anyone with any gender identity can get any codename.

Please take some time to sign some BLM petitions! Please remember not to give any money to change.org because the money would go to the website, not the cause.

*******

“Identify yourself immediately, or else your chopper will be gunned down.” The hard Scottish voice threatened you for the fifth time since you had entered the air space of a mansion in a helicopter you had stolen.

You rolled your eyes. “Calm down. I found a friend of yours. He’s not doing too hot. I’m returning him to you. I’m not looking for a fight.”

The young man next to you slouched forward to press the button to speak. “I’m here, Merlin. I’ll vouch for them.”

The mystery voice, apparently named Merlin, went quiet.

When you landed on the mansion, a med team carried away the extremely injured man you had picked up. When you got out of the helicopter, however, several military-grade weapons were aimed at your head. You put your hands up in surrender, and tried to bite back a smile. You were already planning your strategy to fight your way out of there.

“Don’t shoot!” a barely-conscious voice called out. It was the man you had rescued. “Let them go. They saved my life.”

Maybe you wouldn’t have to fight your way out.

“And why should we trust that you won’t come back?” That was the same voice from before. Merlin.

You turned around to find a tell, bald man with glasses. You answered his query by shrugging, “Cause I won’t. And you don’t have to worry about that human trafficking ring. I don’t know if you heard, but it’s all over the news. All of the victims have been sent home with a healthy pension, and every guilty party from the bottom to the top has been arrested by the proper authorities. I have a feeling they’ll stay in prison this time since all of their bank accounts have mysteriously emptied. I do wonder where all that money went.”

The bald man stared you down for a moment. “I’ve spent the last ten minutes trying to find information on you. It wasn’t much time, but I’m good at my job. If there was anything to find, I would’ve found it. I didn’t find anything. Why is that?”

“What? Like I’m gonna tell you?” you smiled after a moment. “Look, you’re gonna have to trust me. I’m guessing this is a secret service of some sort, right? Well, my personal opinion on organizations like this isn’t very high. I won’t be coming back. Just let me get back in the helicopter. I’ll fly away, and you’ll never see me again.”

Merlin took a moment to survey you, then stated, “That better be true. Stand down, agents,” Merlin ordered his people.

“Thank you!” Your smile grew as you turned back to the stolen aircraft. “See you never!” You took your place in the pilot’s seat, and flashed Merlin one more grin before you took off.

In the months following your first interaction with the secret service, you ran into it’s members several more times. The agent you developed the most rapport with was the young man you had saved. You were supposed to know him as Galahad, but he had let it slip to you a few times that his real name was Eggsy. You also guessed that wasn’t his real real name. It was just a nickname he preferred to be called. But in all honesty, you didn’t care if you knew his real name, Eggsy was good enough for you.

Despite the life-threatening conditions the two of you met under, you and Eggsy would end up telling each other about the most normal aspects of your lives. Eggsy mentioned his mom and sister a few times, but he mainly talked about his family at Kingsman, as he eventually named the agency. The leader of the service went by the codename King Arthur. Eggsy looked at Arthur as a father figure, you noticed. Eggsy had a bestfriend there, too. Her codename was Lancelot. She and Eggsy had joined Kingsman at the same time.

Then, there was Merlin. You would never admit it to Eggsy; hell, you wouldn’t even admit it to yourself, but you liked most to hear about Kingsman’s tech expert. You had been told that Merlin was a very serious man. You could’ve guessed that much. Contrastingly, Eggsy seemed to be part of the select few that Merlin showed his more human side. Eggsy was very proud whenever he was able to get Merlin to crack a smile at one of his jokes, and you could tell that by how often Eggsy brought up those few instances. You laughed when Eggsy jokingly cursed out the voice in his ear, because Merlin was trying to get him to focus on the task at hand.

In spite of the fact that Eggsy let his own name slip so easily, he made a conscious effort to make sure you would only know his friends by their codenames. You respected that. You also found it funny when you came to realize that even Eggsy didn’t seem to know Merlin’s real name. Eggsy tried to hide it, but you had been doing what you were good at long enough that you could read people too well.

Speaking of yourself, compared to Eggsy, you talked about your life a lot less. That was on purpose. The most personal you ever got was talking about your interests, like your favorite movies and TV shows. You actually had a couple in common with Eggsy.

You wondered if you had any in common with Merlin. It wasn’t like you could speak with him, but you knew he was always on Eggsy’s comms. You made a point to say hi to Merlin whenever you ran into the younger Kingsman agent. You wondered how much Merlin really listened to your conversations with Eggsy, and when you weren’t thinking about that, you were berating yourself for thinking so much about some random man you had met once on a mansion’s rooftop.

Did Merlin have favorite TV shows too? What was his real name? Was he thinking about you as much as you were thinking about him?

All those thoughts were running through your mind as you snuck up on a gunfight. You usually avoided those types of situations, but as you were passing by, you saw that Eggsy was caught in the middle of it all. Once you got involved, the fight didn’t last much longer. You only worked with your hands. You knocked some people out, and cut off the air supply for others long enough that they would be unconscious for a long enough while for you and Eggsy to get away.

“Come on.” You offered a hand to Eggsy. “I called the police. These guys’ll be out ‘til they get they get here, but we should still probably go.”

Once he saw you, Eggsy took a few breaths to process what had just happened. “...That was ruddy awesome! I haven’t seen violence that impressive since Arthur took down a whole church full of people! I gotta ask though, why didn’t you use a gun? I know you have...several.”

“I don’t like killing people,” you simply responded, turning to lead the Kingsman agent away from the scene.

“Well, that’s always good...but sometimes it’s just easier, y’know? And these guys are bad people anyway--”

Abruptly, you stopped and turned around to repeat. “I just don’t like killing people.” You saw that you had clearly taken him off guard, and you sighed and turned back around to continue your trek. “I’ve done enough harm in my life.”

There was a bit of silence after that. Before he started following you, Eggsy griped, “Well, what the fuck is that supposed to me--”

A gunshot rang through the air.

You had turned back around when Eggsy started talking again. At first you had been annoyed at Eggsy, but then you saw that one of the people you thought Eggsy had gunned down was still alive by a small margin. He had aimed his gun at your friend. You had pushed Eggsy out of the way. Seconds later, Eggsy had shot your gunman directly through the head, and blood was spilling from your stomach.

“Fuck!” Eggsy caught you when your legs gave out. “Hey, hey! Don’t die! Don’t die because of me. Please!”

The last thing you heard before you lost consciousness was Eggsy’s voice. “Calm down, Merlin! You know where we are, right?” He addressed you, “They’ll be here in ten minutes, okay?” Eggsy looked away from you again, presumably talking to Merlin. “Of course I’m keeping pressure on it. This jacket is bright red now. Just tell them to hurry.”

You smiled when you thought of Merlin.

When your eyes opened again, the light was so bright you thought you were somewhere you shouldn’t have been. Turns out you weren’t in heaven, but you were still some place you should not have been.

“Hello there,” an older man greeted you with a warm smile. He looked to be about the same age as Merlin, and his suit looked a lot like Eggsy’s.

Suddenly, you realized you were inside Kingsman’s home base. “What the fuck.”

“You have a fantastic first impression,” the man complimented with good-natured humor shining in his eyes.

“I need to leave,” you stated, and tried to sit up in the hospital bed in which they had you.

The man quirked an eyebrow. “Are you sure you want to leave? You were injured badly protecting one of my men. Thank you for that, by the way.”

“You’re King Arthur,” you realized.

He nodded. “That is my codename, yes. But I believe your character is one I would be comfortable with sharing my real name. Harry Hart. It’s the name I prefer, anyway.”

“Harry Hart. It’s nice to finally meet you. Eggsy talks about you a lot.” It did make you pause to be trusted so easily by someone. It was something you weren’t used to at all. You shook your head clear, however. “I have to leave, though. It’s not that bad anyway.”

“Oh, yes it is.” That wasn’t Harry. Merlin had entered the room. He locked eyes with you. “You broke your promise.”

“Literally none of this is my fault,” you protested dryly.

Merlin raised his brow. “Is that right? Because that was a Kingsman mission--not a random person off the street mission.”

You rolled your eyes, and let your head fall back on the pillow.

“I’m going to take my leave, and let the two of you have the room.” You almost missed the look Harry gave Merlin before Harry left.

As if it was nothing, Merlin walked over to your IV machine to check your vitals. “Are you okay?” he quietly asked.

“I’m fine,” you stated.

“I am serious, you know. You really shouldn’t have done that. Galahad had the mission under control.”

You sighed, “If I didn’t show up, Eggsy could’ve ended up where I am, or worse. And he lets me call him Eggsy.”

“I am aware.” Merlin was reading over a tablet he had in his hands.

Your face lit up. “I knew you were listening in on us!”

Although it was quick, Merlin spared you a sideways glance. He changed the subject. “The bullet tore through your large and small intestine alike, but you’ll live. However, you’re confined to that bed for the next month and a half.”

“Goddammit.” You fell back onto your pillow again. “I’m going to kill Eggsy.”

Merlin sighed, “I say spare the boy. You should see him. He blames himself for everything. Even cried during the surgery, of which I did not approve.”

“He watched my surgery?” you asked, a little distracted. Your gaze had fallen to Merlin’s tablet, and you were decoding the effects of your injury.

“We both did.”

Your eyes snapped back up to Merlin’s, though he wasn’t watching you then. He swallowed, almost like he found his next words difficult to say. “It took hours. There were many close calls.” Merlin turned to leave, then. Your wishful thinking told you he might have been preventing himself from showing any more emotion.

Fear spilled through you when he reached the door. You were reminded precisely where you were. “Merlin, wait!” You sounded a bit more afraid than you wanted.

When Merlin turned around, concern in his eyes.

“Um...Listen, I-I know we barely know each other, but you and Eggsy are the only two people I know here. I just...I know it sounds childish, but, um--”

“I’ll stay with you.” Merlin left the door, and pulled up a chair beside your bed.

His kindness took you off guard. It took you a moment to breathe out, “Thank you.”

“So, do you want to tell me your name?” Merlin then asked a little too nonchalant.

It caused a smile to peak out on your lips. “Need help finding info on me? I thought you were good at your job.”

The Kingsman agent stabbed back. “I would be kinder to the man who controls your morphine.”

Merlin stayed with you the entirety of that night. The next day, Eggsy came back from a mission he’d been on, and he was ecstatic to find you awake. After you assured him that your bullet wound wasn’t his fault and that you were okay, he barely left your side for a week. When Harry and Merlin finally forced him to go out on another mission, Merlin was back at your bedside. That became the norm. Merlin did most of his work in your room, and on the rare occasion the tech expert was otherwise busy, you had Eggsy to keep you company.

On one such day, Eggsy and you were enjoying your favorite sit-com. You were nearing the end of your month and a half of healing. If you were being honest with yourself, you could’ve left by then if you really wanted. The thing was, you didn’t want to leave. You looked over to Eggsy, who was still watching TV, and realized that you felt like you had a family at Kingsman. You had gotten closer to Harry and Roxy (she’d told you her name) during your month and a half. Merlin, too. You were practically attached at the hip to the tech expert, and you weren’t complaining at all.

Speaking of your favorite Kingsman agent, he entered the room then. He wore a more serious look than usual, which was saying something.

It didn’t bother you though. “Hey, you,” you smiled.

Eggsy was smiling, too, and he was about to greet Merlin as well.

Before he could, however, Merlin ordered, “Galahad, give us the room.”

The younger agent was confused, but he did as he was told.

“Jeez, if you wanted to be alone with me, you could’ve been a little nicer--” you were teasing, but you were interrupted.

“Y/n L/n.”

Two words. They were all it took to make your blood run cold. It was suddenly taking all the power in you not to start crying on the spot. “...How do you know my name?”

“I’m good at my job.” Words that used to be almost an inside joke between you and Merlin were suddenly stabbing you in the heart. “How many organizations have you worked for? CIA, Mossad, I get an alert for another one almost every hour. All of them are looking for you.”

“What did you do?” Your own voice didn’t even sound like you anymore.

Merlin raised his eyebrows. “You’re seriously asking me that right now? What did you do, Y/n?!”

“Don’t call me that! Dammit, did you call someone, Merlin?” You started undoing your IV and sitting up in bed.

He called after you as you exited the room, “Oh, so you can call me by my name?”

“It’s not your real name!” you shouted back.

In hindsight, you should’ve realized Merlin not stopping you from leaving was a warning sign. MI6 was waiting for you outside the Kingsman mansion.

“No!” you screamed, but they surprised you from behind as well. “No! Let me go! Please! Let me go, please!”

As you were being dragged away, you saw Merlin at the door of the mansion, watching you go. He seemed taken off guard at seeing you so scared.

But you couldn’t think about that then. You were too busy kicking and screaming and trying to get away from the type of people you hated most in the world.

MI6 was the fifth organization you were ever involved with. That was back when you still thought governments had the people’s best interests at heart.

Over the years, however, you learned that you couldn’t have been more wrong. No matter what country you moved to and no matter what excuses they had for what they asked you to do, you always found eventually that they were only interested in power and winning an imaginary game they had all convinced each other they were playing.

You played that game for years before you realized there was no winner. To those people, it didn’t matter whose side you sued to work for. It only mattered who’s bidding you were doing in the present. And you did so many unspeakable things for them. Your deeds were what got to your conscience first. After that, you realized it didn’t matter who was giving you orders. All it would always result in were more dead bodies and more money being given to the rich.

And you were back under the roof of one of the institutions you despised so much.

The agents that took you injected something in you to knock you out, and you woke up in a white room that was all too familiar. Each of the groups you hated had one. In that room, you knew that you would be brainwashed and tortured over the next few weeks until you were ready to comply.

You were right. You didn’t know how much time had passed, you were never sure in those rooms, all you knew was you were in so much psychological pain that you couldn’t move from the corner of that white room you hated so much.

The door opened. You couldn’t look at it. You couldn’t even speak. All you could think was that you wanted it all to end. You didn’t care how.

“Y/n?”

You flinched at your name. Your first thought was that you had gone mad. You shut your eyes tight and hoped he would go away.

“Y/n...it’s me.”

Please, just go away.

You heard his footsteps across the floor, then Merlin kneeled down in front of you.

“My god. What have they done to you?”

You had your head turned to the side. Gently, Merlin tried to turn your face toward his. You fought it.

“I’m sorry, Y/n. I didn’t know. Having finally learned who you are, I was able to dig deeper. I know what happened. They all tried to hide it, but it’s all there. I should’ve seen the red flags when they were trying so hard to find you while keeping the search secret. I’m so sorry, Y/n.”

“Don’t call me that.” Even in your confused state, that name reminded you of every single bad thing you’d ever done. Your voice sounded so broken, not even you recognized it. You doubted Merlin recognized it either.

His head dipped down as he sighed. Then, so low that you barely heard it, “Hamish Mycroft.”

Still, you didn’t look at him, but your brow furrowed.

Merlin continued, “That’s my real name. Hamish Mycroft. The only Kingsman agent I’ve ever told is Harry. I haven’t told anyone else in four decades.” He gingerly put his hand on one of the knees you had curled up to your chest. “But, I’m telling you because I trust you. I...I love you. I have for weeks now, I just wasn’t man enough to admit it to myself.”

Somehow, his confession broke through your haze. You finally looked at him.

Sadness and surprise were written all over his face. Hamish informed you, “I’m here to get you out of here, okay? Roxy and Eggsy are taking care of anyone who knows the location of the mansion. You can be safe there.”

“Safe?” you whispered, wondering if the notion was even possible.

Hamish nodded. “You never have to go out into the field again. If you want to, you could work with me. This is the first time I’ve been out in the field in twelve years.”

“You came back into the field for me?” It was nice for you to hear that you could form full sentences again, even if tears were still falling.

One of the corner of his lips twitched upward. “Of course I did. I figure you have to be pretty good with the tech side of things to get along by yourself for this long.”

A laugh slipped through your lips. “Yeah, I’m pretty good.” You observed him for a moment. “Hamish Mycroft.” You said his name for the first time. “I like it.”

He smiled, “I like your name, too, just so you know. I hope one day you’re able to use it again. But, until then, I was thinking Morgana.”

“Morgana?”

“Your Kingsman codename, if you choose to accept it.”

You thought for a moment. “If I work for you guys, I don’t have to hurt people anymore?”

“Never again, if you don’t want to.”

Another moment. “I want to be able to speak out against you guys, if I see something wrong.”

He notified, “That comes with the job. We’ve had problems with our leaders acting without our okay in the past, but not since Harry’s been in charge. And with how well I know you, I know I’ll agree with anything you’ll have to say.”

“...Promise?”

Hamish nodded, “From now on, I’ve always got your back. You have my word. Now let’s get out of here, yeah?”

You nodded in return. Another smile growing on your lips.

Hamish helped you to your feet. Full of pride, he softly proclaimed, “Welcome to Kingsman, Morgana.”

Then ginning, you replied, “Thank you, Hamish...my love.”

*******

Author’s Note: Thank you so much for reading! Fill up that heart and reblog if you liked it. I would also really appreciate the comment, if you have the time. If you would like to read more, I have more Kingsman fics over on my page. You should check it out. Have a nice day, night, or whatever time it is for you! <3 <3 <3

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ironwoman18 · 4 years

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Double Dates part 5

Chapter 5: Cinema night

The next day Luke took Penelope, Roxy, Lou and Sergio to a picnic morning. He brought food for the animals and them.

They decided at their second date that the cellphones were forbidden when they were on a date. The only calls they were allowed to answer were from Emily or Darwin, Penelope's boss.

So their phones were on vibration and in basket while they are and watched as the two dogs played around with other dogs while Sergio looked from the top of a tree.

That day was sunny and warm and they had a nice day together.

"So are you going to keep Lou?"

"He's a reminder of Phill and of course I want to but you know he's right now training to be a therapy dog and he is much calmer after stay in the hospital with kids or cancer patients so I will be his owner but he will work and have his weekends and nights with us" he looks as the two dogs play happily.

"Yeah some dogs are born to do that kind of job" she smiled "and Lou helped Phill and now others" she held his hand and he smiled at her.

"You are right, and you know I still can't believe he's gone and I felt it was my fault for not letting Grant killed Ramos back in Mexico..."

"Hey you did the right thing. He needed to go to jail and it wasn't your call to kill him just arrested him"

"I know and I'm aware of but I thought it was my fault" he sighed and rubs his thumb on her hand "anyway... Grant and Ramos aren't bothering anymore so I'm calm and happy and now I have my nena" he smirked at her.

"and she is more than happy about" she teased at him then kissed him softly.

The rest of the day they stayed there playing and talking. He left her at her house and then drove to his own.

He still need to plan their next double date with Ashley and her boyfriend Adam, he is a NSA agent and a very nice guy.

Luke once worked along side with him in a mission catching a high risk target looking for both agents, at that moment he and Ashley were not dating or even met each other.

They met after the case was closed and he invited all the team to drink a beer and celebrate. After that Luke found out they started to date and now maybe even engaged.

They were very active, they run every morning and do yoga and things like that. He wanted something fun to do and that Penelope would like.

On Monday he walked straight to JJ's desk "hey JJ, can we talk?" She looked at him and nodded "do you know of Penelope like yoga?"

"I think so. She always liked to do relaxing things and to be all peace and love so I think she will enjoy it" she said looking at him "why?"

"Well this time I can pick our next double date and I picked Ash but I don't know what to do except for a yoga class"

"Ok but be creative and don't make her run to much. She never did the physical exam because she wasn't a field agent"

"Got'cha" he said nodding at the blonde. Then walked to Ashley's office. She was playing with her cellphone and was very into it.

"Oh shoot... Come on... I can't believe I failed that attack" she sighed "what a good team right there" she lifted her chin and looked at Luke "oh hey Lucas" she smiled. Lucas was the Spanish for of Luke so she called him like that when they were out of a case of chilling "what can I do for you?"

"What were you playing?"

"LoL" she said matter of fact and looked as his confused expression, she sighed "League of Legends. I need to talk to Garcia, she should introduce you the game" he laughed and shook his head.

"Do you have plans for the weekend?" She shook her head "do you want to go out on a double date with me, Garcia, you and Adam?"

"Sounds fun. I'm in. What do you have in mind?"

"I was thinking about yoga..."

"Oh hell no... I won't go on a double date to do yoga. I have a better idea..." She smirked and explained everything to Luke. He was agree and both shakes hands.

That was week was relaxed. They did not have new cases so they did paperwork, got out early and play poker.

On Saturday Luke picked up Penelope in the morning and they ate breakfast and hangout until noon. He asked her to wear nice clothes.

After lunch they met with Adam and Ashley. Adam was tall, brown hair and green eyes. After their greetings they went to their final destination.

"Ok where are we going?" Asked Penelope.

"We are going to an special Star Wars edition. We are going to watch A New Hope with a live band!"

"OH MY GOD!!!" Penelope was as excited as a little kid on Christmas morning "I love Star Wars. I was at the last Celebration and it was glorious!" She made emphasis on the last words.

"I went to one of those a few years ago. It was indeed glorious, right babe?" She asked Adam.

"Totally. I was also a Star Wars fan so I was in heaven. I need to go to the new Star Wars Edge"

"Me too, I think we should go before or after summer's vacations if we want to enjoy it" the couple nodded.

They reached the theater and showed their tickets booked on Monday, by Ashley.

They bought popcorn, sodas and candies then walked in and watched the movie and were blown away by the live music through out the movie.

Penelope even cried at the Leia song, because she cried Carrie's dead like they were bestfriends.

At the end they all clapped on their feet. It was a great date and they had a fun watching a classic.

They went to a restaurant and talked about their experience mostly because all of them watched it on TV, even Luke.

Then Penelope talked to Ashley about computers and Luke and Adam about sports.

After dinner both couple left separate ways.

"Luke, this wasn't your idea, was it?"

"Honestly?" She nodded "no... It was Ash's. I'm still learning how to date you" he smiled "because I had other girlfriends but never like you. Your personality is so different and what you like it's different. I love all of them but I'm still learning to know what to do to please you" he said in a rush of honesty.

"Thank you for trying Luke. I know I can be... To much sometimes, well more than sometimes" she laughed "but I appreciate you for trying" she kissed him gently "I never had a boyfriend like you either. Because Shane was an asshole who tried to beat me on everything, Kevin was like me but he wanted something I wasn't ready at the moment"

"Guess we are our first times" he laughed and hugged her. He was falling in love and he was nervous to tell her or even let that feeling gets in his heart.

He was driving home and for the first time she asked to go to his apartment and that night they made love for first time together.

OOooOOooOO

That was all for now! I hope you liked it. I had problems writing this because everytime I tried to sit and finished this. I was interrupted and so here I am... At 5 in the morning, finishing this for you.

Next chapter will be JJ/ Will.

#criminal mind #garvez #luke alvez #Penelope Garcia #OC characters

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ramblings-daily · 7 years

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A Little Too Late // Six

Fandom: Criminal Minds Words: 4,927 Pairing: Luke Alvez / Penelope Garcia Characters: Penelope Garcia, Luke Alvez, Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau, Emily Prentiss and David Rossi

Monday 8:15AM

Derek stood up from his seat with the recent case file in his hand. "Prentiss," he cleared his throat as the others walked out the room, getting ready to head out of state for the case. "I really think I should stay and just watch over Penelope."

"Oh," Emily nodded her head. "Yeah, of course."

"I'm technically not even supposed to be back, right?" Derek shrugged his shoulders. "I mean, I know I can come back and work anytime but the only reason I did come back was - "

Emily smiled. "For Garcia." She patted Derek on the shoulders, making sure he knows he doesn't need to worry. "Do what you want to do, Morgan. In terms of work, I'm not even your boss. The higher authority knows that you're only back here because of her. Now that they've put the case on the back burner, you have no reason to intend these future cases."

"Thanks." Derek said. He inhaled deeply before quickly putting on his jacket and walking out of the conference room. Taking out his phone, he sent a text to Savannah, asking how the baby is doing. When he's at home, he misses the field so much. The feeling of adrenaline kicking in through his veins. But when he is out on the field, he can't stop thinking about what his little baby is doing. Being an obsessed workaholic and parents definitely sucks.

"Agent Morgan." Luke stood in front of the elevator with his hand clenching onto his backpack.

Derek turned around as he put his phone into his back pocket. "Alvez, we've known each other for a little over a week. Do we get along? Sometimes. Do I think that you should get rid of the whole formal name basis? Yes because it's annoying."

Luke briefly smiled as he put the backpack over his shoulders. "I heard that you want to visit Penelope today?"

"Yeah," Derek cleared his throat. "How'd you do it?"

"I'm sorry?"

He shrugged his shoulders as he crossed his arms across his chest. "I've known Penelope for over a decade. She's my bestfriend, someone who I will throw myself in front of a bus for. She drives me crazy with her little sassy antics but that's what I love about her. Not afraid to tell what she's thinking when she has had it. For someone who I've known for over a decade," Derek looked at Luke. "It frustrates me that I don't know how I can make her feel better after what has happened. I should be the one to guide her through the memories and pain." Exhaling deeply, he couldn't control the frustration from inside of him. "She has helped me in so many things in my life - more than I ever deserve." Briefly closing his eyes as he control his emotions. "I'm not upset or frustrated that she talked or opened up to you about her fears." Derek pressed on the elevator button. "I'm glad that at least someone got to her when she needed someone."

Getting the message that Derek is trying to say, Luke smiled. "You want to know how I got her to talk to me? I don't think it's nothing I did. Last night was rough for her and I just think I was there at the right moment and the right time." Luke cleared his throat as he opened up his backpack, taking out his house keys. "You're the one that she needs the most right now. Like you said, she's your best friend." He handed the house keys toward Derek. "I think I have a way for her to easily talk to you today even if she tries so hard not to."

Derek furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

. . .

Monday 9:00AM

Penelope's eyes never left the window since she woke up. It's the only thing that has been calming her since the moment she open her eyes. As soon as they are opened, the doctor comes in for a check up. Nurses walks in and out giving her difference medicine to soothe her nerves down. Sometimes when she does wake up from a nightmare, she is forced to take medicine to make her sleep. It's funny. When she was kidnapped, all she wanted to do was sleep. It was the only way for her to ignore her situation and forget that she was living in a fear every minute of the day. Here, where she is supposedly finally safe, she can't help but stay awake due to the fear that she can't forget. She can't live like this, she can't let herself go through this everyday. So that's when she made a decision, a decision that she won't back out on with her mind fully focused on it.

After last night at the rooftop, the nurses has started taking extra caution on her. Scared for her to leave again and do something stupid. Honestly, she's too tired to do something as stupid as that. All she wants right now is for somebody to walk through those doors and tell her that the guy has been caught and he's going to be in prison for what he has done. But that hasn't happened yet and she's not even sure if that'll ever happen. Which makes her believe more that the decision she chose will be the best for now.

"Penelope," one of the regular nurses knocked on the door and smiled softly at her. "Derek Morgan is here to visit you. Would you like to see him today?"

She blinked her eyes several times before gazing away from the window, looking at the nurse. From the corner of her eyes, she can see Derek standing by the door, waiting for permission to come in. Penelope thought about how last night, she finally talked to one of the members and out of all people, it happened to be Luke. Now, standing a few feet away from her is the man that she calls best friend. It'll be wrong to not see him, right? If she remembers right, Derek has tried eight times since she returned to see her but she has refused him all eight times. "Yes." She finally answered before turning back to look out the window.

Derek briefly smiled as he walked in, a bouquet of flowers in his hands. "Hi."

"Hi." Penelope simply replied.

"How are you feeling?"

Penelope shrugged her shoulders. "Drugged up." Which isn't a lie since she just had to take medicine merely ten minutes ago.

Derek brought the chair close to the hospital bed and sighed. "I won't stay long if you don't want me to. I just wanted to make sure you're fine and that you're not upset with me or anything."

She finally looked away from the window and stared at Derek while knitting her eyebrows. "Why would I ever be upset at you?"

He drew out a deep breath. "I don't know. I just - "

"Derek, I just needed time." Penelope said. "I thought that by pushing you guys away, it'll be better for all of us. I'm not the same right now and I feel as if I let you see me like this - our relationship won't ever be the same." Tears started brimming against her eyes. "I can't be the joy or happiness of the team anymore and that ultimately sucks. Because that's what they depend me on, what you depended me on when you were still a part of the team."

Shaking his head vigorously as he looked at her. "Baby Girl, that is not important to us. What's more important is for you to feel better and try to get your life back on track. I could careless if you want to be Miss Grumpy Pants for the next five months. As long as I am there for you and you let me be there, I can take any attitude from you."

"This attitude may be meaner, crazier, more - "

Derek chuckled. "I don't care."

Penelope sighed. "I'm scared that I'll blame things on you and I'm scared to lose myself during this whole process. You know that's what I fear the most. I already lost..." she can't get rid of that guy's face out of her head. "I don't want to be a burden on any of you."

"Baby Girl, you have never been a burden to me and you won't start being a burden to any of us." Derek narrowed his eyes at her, his hands has been on his lap since he came her. Not knowing if she wants to be hugged or touched, he tried to hold back as much as he wants to wrap his arms around her - like they always do. "I love you, Penelope. When you were gone, I felt so scared. I barely controlled my emotions during the case, I kept being angry and I was losing it out there. I just kept thinking," he took a deep breath. "What if I lose my best friend? What if I lose her and I never catch the bastard that did this? How will I ever live with myself knowing that the one time she does needed me, I couldn't do anything? How will - " he stopped talking and looked down when he felt Penelope taking his hand, holding onto it. And that's when he lost it. Tears slid down his face as he glanced back up at her. "I've missed you so much, Penelope Garcia."

Penelope cried as she wiped his tears away. "And I've missed you, Derek Morgan."

Derek chuckled as kissed the top of her hand. "I guess Alvez didn't need to help me out."

She looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"He wanted to help out in case if you didn't want to talk to me," Derek stood up and walked over to the door. "So he asked me to pick up somebody who would probably cheer you up."

Penelope held her hands together as she watched Derek walk out of the room and return a few seconds at the doorway. He smiled as he whistled and that's when she heard the sound of a dog running towards him and the room. Her eyes widened from surprise as she leaned over and softly smiled. "Roxy!"

. . .

Monday 12:20PM

JJ pinned up the photos of the victims found onto the board and sat back down as she tried to find any connection between the four. Leaning over to grab her coffee, she glanced up just in time to see Luke tapping his fingers constantly on the table. "You've been doing that for the past twenty minutes. Come on, confess. What's on your mind?"

Luke chuckled as he leaned forward to drink his own coffee. "Nothing."

"Don't lie." JJ said. "It's hard to notice when somebody is all fidgety in front of you."

"It's Penelope." Luke shrugged his shoulders. "Something she said last night to me kept me up, I couldn't get it out of my mind."

JJ nodded his head. "What was it?"

"He could be watching her right now, grinning at the fact that he got away." Luke shook his head at the mere thought that this guy keeping Penelope on watch. "He's probably waiting for the right moment to get her again."

"He won't." JJ confidently said. "Because I'll kill the son of bitch if he tries to take my best friend away again."

Luke smiled for a second. "You and Agent Morgan, the way you think are alike."

"She's my best friend. If I let her get kidnap again, I won't stop blaming myself." JJ muttered softly. "With what he has already done to her, it makes me so mad just to think about it."

"It makes all of us mad." Luke said.

JJ watched as Luke's expression quickly faded from anger to control calmness. "How do you do it?"

"Wow, that must be the question of the day for me." Luke stood up to pour himself another cup of coffee.

"You control your emotions so well. You don't let it fade you while working." JJ cleared her throat. "I confess, I was mad at you for a while. Everybody were on their toes when she was gone. Even Spencer lost it for a bit when we were setting up the victimology board on Penelope. You're different." JJ noted. "Being able to divide your personal emotions from your workplace, not many people can do that."

Luke turned and leaned toward the counter, avoiding eye contact. "It's not about me being able to control my emotions. I don't seem as strong as I look, trust me." He exhaled as he quietly stirred the sugar in his coffee for a few seconds. "When I'm alone, I can't control it. Whatever I am feeling, I just let it out once I am cleared." He finally looked at JJ straight in the eyes. "I am fearful of letting people see me during my weak moments. I don't control the emotions because I am good at it. I force myself to control these emotions because I don't want to be weakened by it."

JJ knit her eyebrows together. "Why?" If there is anything about the BAU, it's not a secret that these people don't tend to do well with their emotions. But it's what has them so good at what they do because without showing these emotions, they aren't as motivated as they want to be. It's what kept them as close as they are to each other because with their heightened emotions half the time, it helps their bond. And it's definitely not something to be considered as weak by. "We're family, right? There should be no shame in showing your emotions to your family."

The word family has Luke stare at her for a few seconds. "Of course."

Emily and Spencer walked into the room. "We got an address."

Rossi stormed in with his jacket on. "Let's catch this guy and go home."

. . .

Monday 3:00PM

"Alright," Derek said through the phone. "See you in a few hours then." He hung up the phone and smiled as he turned back to see Penelope playing with Roxy. "That was Prentiss, she said that the team caught the guy and they'll be back in a few hours. It was an open shut case so they're excited to be back home. The team wants to see you."

Penelope nodded her head. "Are they coming over?"

"I told her that it'll be fine," Derek walked over. "I hope it is."

"It should be," Penelope said. "Unless I have a mental breakdown and want to hide in the corner and cry my eyes out." She glanced up at smiled at Derek's frozen expression. "I'm kidding."

Derek scoffed. "At least a bit of yourself is back." He watched as Roxy panted near Penelope, jumping up and down in excitement near her. "She really loves you."

"She does, huh." Penelope leaned and giggled when Roxy licked her face. "She loves playing catch in the woods."

"How do you know that?"

"Newbie." Penelope answered. "Sometimes I went with him to walk Roxy on the weekends."

Derek arched an eyebrow. "Oh."

Penelope stopped petting Roxy and looked at Derek. "Don't use that tone especially when I'm sitting on the hospital bed with scars and bruises all over my face and body."

He chuckled. "If it's any better, I think those scars and bruises brings out your eyes." Derek burst out in a huge fit of laughter when she threw a pillow at him. This is the moment that made him realize that sooner or later, everything will be okay. Although she seems happy and smiling right now, he knows that it'll be gone once she's alone. Because she rather suffer alone and not let anyone in. In the brief hours he has spent with her, Derek could tell that it's all a show. But he's not wrong about his gut feeling, everything will be okay. "Are you hungry?"

"Not really."

"Penelope." Derek said in a much sterner voice, narrowing his eyes at her. The nurse had informed him that she hasn't been eating that well, avoiding the food that the hospital has been giving them.

"A sandwich." Penelope answered with a smile. With her hands petting Roxy's head, from the corner of her eyes - she watched Derek walk out of the room. As soon as he was gone, her smile vanished in a flash as she returned her attention back to Roxy. "Don't look at me like that." Her voice cracked as she cleared her throat, she has been holding back tears. "I can't let him see me like this. I have to learn to control it." Roxy jumped back onto the hospital bed, placing her head on Penelope's lap. "It's the best for them."

. . .

Monday 10:20PM

"I've missed you," JJ said as she hugged Penelope tightly. "God, I've missed you so much."

Penelope smiled. "Same here."

JJ pulled away and sighed. "Are you hungry?"

She shook her head as a response. "I ate earlier." Penelope looked at the others, who were all smiling at her. "I'm really fine."

Emily took a deep breath. "We're glad." She walked closer to Penelope, her facial expression filled with regret. "Morgan told me that you know about how the case is being put into the back burner. I'm sorry."

"It's alright." Penelope said. "I'm fine with it. We'll catch him someday, right?"

Luke furrowed his eyebrows together at what Penelope just said. It's not the same as what he was told last night. Keeping his thoughts to himself, he cleared his throat as he bent down and gave Roxy a hug. "Hey, my sweet girl."

"Thank you for letting Roxy stay with me today."

"Of course." Luke stood up. "Thought it would make you feel better."

Spencer handed a stack of comic books to Penelope. "I bought it for you."

Penelope lightly laughed. "Thanks, Boy Wonder."

He doesn't do hugs, he doesn't do physical contact but at that moment, Spencer wrapped his arms around Penelope. "I missed you calling me that nickname."

Surprised by the sudden hug, Penelope didn't know how to react. Her mind went blank for a brief moment, memories of what happened to her flashed in and out. Slightly backing away but trying to not make it obvious that she was scared - she spread a small smile on her face. "Get used to it. I'm back and I'll forever call you that nickname again."

Rossi chuckled. "I talked to the doctor earlier. He said that you'll probably be out in a few days? Are you sure? Are you - " he hesitated. "Still in pain?"

"I'm fine." Penelope tried to reassure everybody. "If the doctor is ready to clear me, I guess I'll be fine."

JJ smiled. "I already cleared out a room for you at my house. Considering what happened to yours," she paused. "I just thought it would be nice if you could stay at mine. Maybe until you get back on your feet, you can watch over Henry and Michael for me. Will's been tired lately."

"That sounds fine." Penelope nodded her head. "I would like that."

As Luke handed Roxy a toy to play with, he watched Penelope's expression carefully. In a matter of six minutes, Penelope had used the word fine at least more than nine times already. Something just doesn't feel right for him. He cleared his throat, taking his attention back to Roxy.

"It's my turn to keep on watch tonight," Emily smiled. "Hope I can keep you company here."

"I won't let you sleep in the waiting room anymore." Penelope pointed over to the couch near the wall. "You can sleep there if you want."

Emily nodded her head. "Thanks." She turned her attention to the others. "You guys should head home. It'll be late."

"Where's Tara and Stephen?"

"They went straight to the office. Needed to finish some paperwork. They'll be here in the morning." Spencer answered.

JJ sighed as she blew Penelope a kiss. "I'll bring Will and the kids tomorrow too. They've missed their godmother."

"I've missed them too." Penelope waved goodbye as everybody left the room with the exception of Emily. She laid back on the hospital bed, her eyes closed. "I can't stay up, the medicine is finally kicking in."

Emily laughed. "No problem." She yawned as she laid on the couch. Traveling back and forth in a matter of twelve hours is really tiring. "Goodnight, P." "Goodnight."

. . .

Tuesday 2:00AM

Penelope's eyes snapped open as soon as the medicine wore off. Adverting her gaze over to the windows, she listened for Emily's steady breathing that indicates that she's still asleep. As soon as she felt it was fine to move, Penelope slowly got up on the hospital bed and stood up. "I have to do this." Walking out of her room, she watched as the nurses were away from their desk - probably doing their regular medicine check up on other patients nearby. "I can do this." She muttered to herself as she rushed down the hallway and looked around for an empty office. Penelope remembered seeing one of the offices being empty around this time of night when she went up the rooftop. The only thing she can hope for is it being empty again tonight. "I can definitely do this." Breathing in and out quietly, she rushed into the office once she found it. "Come on."

As soon as the door was closed behind her, she turned on the computer and cleared her throat. Since joining the BAU, she has promised to herself that she wouldn't go to the dark side anymore. She promised Hotch that she would end her hacking days because she loves the career that the BAU has given her. But as of this moment, she just needs to go on the dark side for a few minutes. The upcoming minutes that she needs is the only way she can probably put an end to this all.

Typing the computer as fast as she could, she encoded some of her old hacking skills into the hospital computer. Breaking through the security wall of the hospital software and she took a deep breath once she was in the hacker's forum. The forum is made up by the most powerful hackers in the world - it's a forum where all the hackers feel comfortable about indulging into the hacking processes or new computer software out there. She hasn't been here since forever and the fact that she easily could go in, still briefly makes her believe that she is good at what she does. Her eyes widened as soon as the first message went through.

Who is this?

How'd you get in? I've never seen you before.

Penelope narrowed her eyes as she scrolled through all the messages, trying to search for a name that would stand out. A name that would remind her of him. Feeling as if it is useless to look through all these names - she did the one thing she can only think of. My name is Penelope Garcia and I am looking for someone.

Penelope Garcia? You mean the one that works for the FBI?

Cool! Aren't you in the hospital?

She's alive?

The incoming messages kept filling up the screen. She sighed out of frustration as she closed her eyes. Here goes nothing, she typed a message for the forum. Jacob. I am looking for Jacob.

The forum went blank maybe because they don't know what she is talking about and left the forum. A few seconds went by and that's when she saw the message she wanted to see. Daisy, my love. I can't believe you on here looking for me.

Penelope scoffed as soon as she read the message. The one thing that is more absurd is the fact that this guy thinks he belongs in this forum, he's just an amateur with the whole hacking world. She sent out another message - Where are you?

Now that wouldn't be fun if I told you, right?

Where are you?

The door suddenly opened and Penelope screamed with her eyes closed and her hands covering her head. "What the heck are you doing here?!"

Penelope glanced up and saw Luke Alvez standing by the doorway. "What the heck are you doing here? You're not even supposed to be on guard tonight!"

Luke narrowed his eyes at her. "You seemed off and I wasn't going to leave you alone if you were giving a feeling of doing something stupid. I came back as soon as Roxy slept. Come back here and find you completely gone from the room." He walked over to the desk. "You have Prentiss running around. What are you doing here, Penelope?"

She cleared her throat. "Nothing."

"Don't lie to me." Luke furrowed his eyebrows together. "What are you doing here? And I'm only going to repeat this once."

Penelope was about to answer him but the sound of a new message adverted her attention back over to the computer screen. She gasped and stepped back from the computer in shock.

Tick tock. How long do you think it'll take Agent Prentiss and Agent Alvez to find me? Oh. I'm here, Daisy.

"What? What is it?" Luke turned his head to look at the computer but it crashed and took the website off. "Penelope?"

Penelope looked at Luke. "He's here. He's in the hospital!"

Luke's eyes widened and immediately he took out his gun from the holster. "LOCK THE DOOR AND DON'T COME OUT!"

"Luke! Wait - " it was too late. He had already left the room and closed the door behind him. Penelope looked around, making sure that the office she is doesn't have any cameras inside. He can't possibly be watching her right now, could she?

. . .

Tuesday 2:20AM

Luke held the gun in his hand, his vision focused and alarmed as he looked around. "I need all of you to go back to any of the patient's rooms and lock the doors. Do you understand me?! Help me out and call the point!" The nurses immediately obligated and diverted each into different rooms. Luke took out his phone and dialed Emily's number. "Prentiss! He's here! Stay alert!"

"I got it!"

He hung up the phone and leaned his back against the wall, trying to listen for any footsteps that seem out of ordinary.

. . .

Tuesday 2:35AM

Penelope listened through her door, trying to make out any sounds that she can hear. It's been so quiet for over ten minutes. She doesn't know what is happening. Did Jacob finally get caught? Her eyes adverted over to the computer, was it her fault that he's here? Endangering other people's lives right now?

"No," she reminded herself. She couldn't have been on the forum for more than three minutes. He had to have been on his way or already in the building when she called him out in the forum. "It's not my fault."

Penelope immediately crawled away from the door and over to the corner when the sound of keys rustling through the lock was heard. She started screaming until she realized that it was one of her nurses. "Penelope! There you are! Come on, the coast is clear."

"What - what happened?" Penelope asked as she stood up and held onto the nurse as they walked out of the office together. Walking down the hallways, she watched as the nurses trying to calm the other patients down. "What happened?"

"He got away." The nurse answered. Opening the door to Penelope's room, the nurse helped her sit down on the bed.

Not seeing Emily on the couch anymore, Penelope looked at the nurse. "Where is Agent Prentiss?"

The nurse avoided eye contact. "I think it's best for you to sleep right now."

"Why aren't you looking at me?" Penelope refused to lie down on the bed and got up. "Where is Emily? Where is Luke?"

"Penelope, you really need to listen to me and - "

That's when Penelope heard it. The sound of a gurney being rushed through and the doctors and nurses screaming on top of their longs. The sound's definitely nearby. "We're losing the patient!!! Too much blood!!! Agent!! Do you hear me?!"

Agent? Penelope tried to push through the door to see who was hurt but the nurse pushed her away. Before she could have the strength to fight back, she felt a sharp pinch on her arm. Feeling weak and her vision starting to become distorted, she watched as the nurse look at her with an apologetic expression. "I'm sorry. I'm just following orders from the agent. We can't let you see what's happening. It's better for you to rest up and wake up in the morning with somebody explaining everything to you."

"Please...." Penelope tried to speak as she felt her body being laid on the hospital bed and a blanket covering her. "Who is hurt?" The only agents in the building right now is Emily and Luke. Tears start brimming against her eyes as she begged further. "Who is hurt?" The medicine kicked in and she fell back to sleep. Her last thought in her mind repeating over and over again as she slept - it's all my fault.

a/n: here is the sixth chapter! thank you for the support and love from the previous chapter! it keeps me so inspired and so happy to keep writing! please continue the support on here and fanfiction, thank you!

#criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fanfiction #penelope garcia #luke alvez #luke x penelope #garcia x alvez #derek morgan #derek x penelope #morgan x garcia #spencer reid #jennifer jareau #emily prentiss #david rossi #ramblingsdailyfic

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