#and i swear i'm missing shit but for now this'll do

[cldhrbour]

just thinking about serana's powers and how powerful she is. yes being a vampire lord helps , but even prior to being changed , i think she was on her way to be a powerful caster. the family structure strikes me as harkon being a fighter-type while valerica serves as more of a wizard-type , and with a closer relationship in general with valerica there was likely expectation she'd follow in her steps. she was studying under her mother , in addition to any normal tutelage under personal educators within the lordship.

she had a natural affinity for necromancy , as her mother did and she had interest in learning destruction magic but never got to do so because the focus of the family began to shift more towards gaining molag bal's attention. only when they're gifted vampirism is she able to practice her casting again , and leans in to a more ice-focused destruction. obviously the rest of her powers were supplemented by her new undead state. most of the specifics below are inspired by this mod - however something to keep in mind is how powerful vampire lords are but unless provoked , serana typically isn't pulling out all the stops. in fact , it will likely be rarely seen until her final battle with her father because she knows that he has the same strength as she does.

magical powers

ice magic ,.., her preferred form of spellcasting , serana is usually seen in battle surrounded by ice and snow in one way or another. most typically she'll form a dagger of ice and use it in close combat since she can be very mobile on a battlefield with her vampirism. however , if she's told control a crowd , then her spells take a form of storms or barriers of sharp ice. if she has the time , she'll also create shields of ice if a companion seems like they're about to get hit. in rare cases , she'll get a little creative by creating forms of transportation with it ( like bridges or inclines ) so that her friends can move around easily or get to places they couldn't've otherwise. a visual of this would be how sypha casts from castlevania.

necromancy ,.., thanks to her mother and her vampirism , serana is very skilled in the undead or anything in passing death. most often she'll raise corpses to aid her in fights. she can also drain life from someone via touch and replenish her own well , or just spread death with her touch. this will usually just look like accelerated aging until someone is no more than dust. again , used very often in combat and she's highly skilled at it. serana can raise lesser creatures with ease , like animals or people , and given a few additional seconds of time and effort on her part she can also raise larger creatures and beasts. after meeting durnehviir , she does have the goal to eventually be able to raise a dragon from the dead should the need arise and visits him often to learn.

vampiric powers

blood magic ,.., a very similar type of magic to her necromancy , serana does have a close relationship with blood itself. she doesn't use it as much , but if she's close to starving ( or if an enemy is particularly frustrating ) and if someone is wounded or actively bleeding , serana can pull that life force from its source and take it on herself , drinking it to gain strength. if she doesn't need it to feed , she can create a spike or dagger from it and use it to impale her enemies.

bats ,.., a simple term , but not only can serana take on the form of a flying fox bat , she also has close relationships with bat creatures. she can call them in a time of need in order to blind opponents , to confuse them or to protect her if she's mortally injured. her own bat form is usually used for reconnaissance and stealth. if she needs to see a situation and assess its danger level. in some instances , she will also transform into a bat if she's injured and tired , this way the smaller body can heal a bit quicker than her mortal form.

mist form ,.., most often used as a means of teleporting , serana's body can turn into formless mist. she not only can take no injury ( and cause no harm ) like this , she can also use it similarly to the above bat form in a stealth manner. when she is shifting across a fight , it will look to most mortals as a misty , dark form. one moment she's there , the next she's somewhere else.

enthrall ,.., vampire lords have a natural 'charm' to them in order to lower defenses of mortal creatures and potential prey. this is more subtle than a full on 'enthrall' which is more akin to "charm person" where the vampire is actively utilizing their powers of the mind and making someone more malleable to suggestion. many vampire lords use this as a way to keep a thrall with them at all times in order to feed , others can use it to rise to power and more with some creativity. serana is most often utilizing this as a way to get information or to ease someone's emotions if she feels she needs to. when it comes to her natural 'charm' , the closer she gets to someone , the more likely she'll mention it to them , understanding the risk of them being turned off by it or becoming potentially angry. understand that this isn't necessarily something she can control , it's almost like a natural pheromone that allows a predator to feed more easily. if you've read salem's lot , it's exactly that. something that neither predator nor prey can control or control their reaction to.

domination ,.., this is a mix of telekinesis and a stronger form of the above. domination doesn't allow for any control of the mind other than what the vampire lord wants. they own every part of you. where enthrall can leave someone numb and unresponsive or have no feeling whatsoever ( because it was more of a suggestion or making someone placate to demands ) this particular power they are completely aware but can't do anything about it. there is a voice in their head and they become simply a receiver and speaker of that voice. with that control , a vampire can lift the mortal and manipulate them as they see fit. their body is not their own nor is their mind. this is something entirely gifted by molag bal , the prince of domination. as far as serana and how she uses it , she will never think of using it on people she is close to. this is only for fighting purposes , usually on lesser beings. many times , and most simply , she's getting into the mind of someone and telling them to end their own lives.

vampiric lord form ,.., when things are looking rough , or if she needs to move in a way that her speed/mist form won't allow for , serana will transform into a bi-pedal beastly bat. standing at about 8 feet tall , with leathery wings , a bat-like face with a collar of fur around her neck , this form can take on many creatures , especially ones airborne. she also will use it in dire times of need where maybe someone is falling or to fly them to safety from a rather precarious situation. this form can teleport in a cloud of smaller bats. in most storylines , serana doesn't use this form until it's clear who and what she is amongst the people she's traveling with , in order not to scare them. she's in full control in this form , it is still her , and she can change at will.

flames of coldharbour ,.., gifted from the plane of coldharbour itself , these flames are not ordinary fire , but those of where serana was reborn. blue and purple in color , these flames burn hotter and melt most things almost instantly. serana has to call to the prince himself for these flames , and most often is gifted them without question. this very often has the volkihar clan thinking that she is favored amongst the others who have been christened by their god. either these flames will be used as many other fire-based powers are with a ball being shot at her enemy , or if she's surrounded , serana can have them shoot out from her at the center in a large sphere or wall of brilliant blue.

[lozchi]

I was looking around and I was wondering. What if Taehun had a loser girlfriend who's literally the complete opposite of him. Like she's wayyy nicer then him (too nice), probably a push over, and not that smart. But she's the comfort he wants ykyk I'M SORRY I'M THAT LOSER GF I JS WANT A MAN LIKE TAEHOON

Dummy!

A/N: worry not, anon. I'm that loser GF too. 😭 This'll be shorter than my usual, forgive me. I loved writing this so much though. 🫀🥹

Pairing: Taehoon Seong x F!Reader

Themes: reader being an idiot. if you're familiar with my writing, there is always swearing.

To some, it’s baffling how one could fall for Taehoon Seong out of all people. He’s a pretty guy with captivating eyes and graceful movements, nghhh~ he's undeniably irresistible, isn't he? Every girl around him would think the same, swooning left and right due to his insane visuals -- Tsk! He's gorgeous! And you weren’t any different. In fact, you were his biggest simp.

It was a curious pairing, to say the least—Mr. Bad Boy and Miss Too-Good-For-Your-Own-Good.

Taehoon strode into the room with the kind of attitude that made people step aside. His arrogance and aggression were palpable. “Do I look like a fuckin’ bank to ya? I ain’t lending 7000, got it? Now scram before I beat the shit outta ya.”

You, on the other hand, were the epitome of kindness and generosity. “Sure! You can borrow 200,000 won from me! Just pay it as soon as you can!” Yeah, incredibly dumb too, unfortunately.

Taehoon had an uncanny ability to read people like an open book. “You think I’m stupid enough to fall for that?” He’d snap, seeing through deceptions with ease.

Meanwhile, “Always happy to help!” You remained blissfully unaware of how people took advantage of you.

Taehoon lived by his own rules, always favoring his own brand of logic. “I’m doing this my way. It’s more efficient.” he would declare, unyielding in his methods.

And then there was you, grappling with concepts that seemed beyond your grasp. “Fuck this shit, I don’t understand a thing!”

“It’s math.” He'd say, almost bemused.

“I hate it.” you’d retort, your frustration evident.

“Those are just numbers.” he would explain.

“Fuck numbers, bruh!” you’d respond, exasperated.

“USE THE THEOREMS, GOD DAMN IT!”

“WHAT THEOREMS!?!” you’d cry out in desperation.

In physical prowess, he was unmatched, while you... Uhh... “How many more laps? It’s been ages!” you’d complain during your grueling training sessions.

“It’s been 5 fucking minutes, y/n,” he’d respond, barely breaking a sweat.

You were expressive, a fucking drama queen. While he remained, well, Taehoon.

When you’d proclaim, “I love you!” your heart on your sleeve, he’d respond with a gruff, “Of course I feel the same, dummy.”

A small injury would elicit your dramatic reaction: “Ouch! That stings!” while he’d barely bat an eye and say, “Be careful next time, you dimwit.”

You might sob over a movie, your emotions spilled out loud, and he’d- “Boooo. 0 stars. Too many plot holes. ”

Sometimes, vulnerability hits you, “Ugly crying in my bed right now,” and he’d cut through the sadness with an - “Alright, who the fuck hurt you?”

Happiness flowed from you like a river when you were with him. “I’m so happy when I’m with you~” To which he’d retort, “Same-- Ugh! Will you wipe that grin off?”

When you voiced how something hurt you, he’d reply bluntly, “Sometimes we just have to suck it up.”

“Can’t you be a little more sensitive?” But he'd always try. “I’m trying to understand where you’re coming from.”

And in the wake of betrayal, you’d lament, “Aughh, I just didn’t expect her to backstab me like that, I’m so stupid!” He’d offer a rough kind of comfort, “Want me to kick her in the ass?”

But beneath all these differences—your gentleness against his toughness, your warmth melting through his cold exterior—there was balance.

There was love.

There was harmony.

If it wasn’t already clear, he needed you just as much as you needed him.

From time to time, Taehoon shows his vulnerable side. You have to remember, he's just a human being and he can't always keep up his tough guy persona.

He grapples with uncertainties, worried that without caution, he could distance himself from you and ultimately be left alone.

He carries a burden of past mistakes that weighs heavily on his shoulders. It's an injury he seldom recognizes, yet it impacts all his decisions in a subtle way.

The thought of his previous mistakes coming back to trouble him and harming his loved ones worries him deeply.

However, despite feeling clearly insecure, Taehoon, being Taehoon, decides to never address it openly.

These ideas, though, are simply possibilities. He always puts in the effort to avoid making mistakes.

You understand there’s more beneath the surface and always offer him gentle reassurance.

“Taehoon, you’re here now, and that’s what matters. I’m with you, no matter what.”

In his own way, he cherishes the balance you bring to his life.

After all, even a bad boy needs a good girl to keep him grounded.

As you look at him, with all his imperfections and flaws, you smile and say, “I love you.”

And he looks back at you with a rare, genuine smile and replies, “Yeah, I love you too, dummy.”

[medics-secret-shipfic-folder]

TF2 + Snapcube Sonic Real-time Fandub Quotes

This is mainly just Cheavy with Eggman's lines.

Sniper, holding a bar of Australium: Do you know where the closest Hot Topic is?

Scout: Hey! Put that down! That's an expensive gold bar!

Sniper: GOLD DOESN'T GLOW, DICKNIPS!

-

Cheavy: *loud sigh* I miss my Medic, Frankenstein. I miss him a lot. I'll be back.

Medic: ???????????

-

Cheavy, to the RED team in New Zealand: It seems you bitches have come to a standstill in fuckin' Atlantis. You have 13 seconds before the island fucking explodes you Hot-Topic wannabe and you red-gumball sons-of-bitches! You have done nothing but ruin my life and I hope you all DIE!

-

Soldier: HOW THE FUCK DID WE GET TO EGYPT!?

-

Cheavy: Hey bitches! Didn't expect to see me, did ya?

Medic: Oh hey, Cheavy. Some weird guy named Gray-

Cheavy: Frankenstein, I have had enough of you! You took my Medic, you fucked my crops - I'm taking your life! AND THE AUSTRALIUM!

-

Engie: Hey, Medic, I have a question. Can you please explain to me how you fuck crops?

-

Spy: Scout, listen to me! I know who your father is! (dies)

Scout: DON'T YOU FUCKING LIE TO ME!

-

Cheavy: Get the fuck out or i'm shooting your Medic in the fucking face! I swear to god! I'll do it, you bitch! GET OUT!

-

Cheavy: Well honey your mascara is on fleek but we gotta get the fuck outta here cause the building's about to explode - RED STRIPES!? JET BOOTS!? OH MY GOD-

Medic: Don't worry, I can fly! This'll never be brought up again!

-

Cheavy: Frankenstein, please join me by my side and we'll rule the Earth together! You can stand by me even though I can't see SHIT through these fucking goggles-

Medic: No, because you're old.

Cheavy:

Medic: lol get rekt you old scrub-man. Anyways I'm gonna go fuck your Medic now.

Cheavy: WHAT!? You're not allowed to fuck my Medic! FRANKENSTEIN! GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE! FRANKENSTEIN! WHAT THE FUCK-

-

Cheavy: Now, to try to log onto my Twitter once more. Lets see if this computer works...

Computer: *welcome to Twitter.com*

Cheavy: *gasp* Doc! What have you been tweeting about...WHAT THE FUCK!? IS THAT FRANKENSTEIN'S DICK!?

Medic over the news: Hah! I fucked your Medic! Now if you'll excuse me, I've got other bitches to get into bed with. Isn't that right...uh, the Classic Medic? I'm sorry I don't know what to call you-

Cheavy: WHAT IN THE SAM HILL IS THIS-

-

Cheavy: I'M BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING AGAIN!? OH MY GOD-

-

Cheavy: I told you not to fuck my Medic!

Medic: And I did anyway! What're you gonna do about it, bitch?

-

Cheavy: Alright, since the RED team fucked my Medic, I need both of you as part of my team!

Bea: I mean, I guess that's fine. As long as I get my weed back, I don't care.

Cspy: I don't have a character motive.

Cheavy: Listen! We are going to explore this island and find Sniper! He has all the weed that you need! That ganja, that mary jane - MARAJAMIJ! All in his pockets! He is your local drug dealer and I am gonna blow up this island! Now go look for him, and hurry up!

-

Cheavy: What are you two FUCKING talking about!?

-

Heavy: I fucked your Medic. He's mine now.

Cheavy: WHAT IN THE ACTUAL SHIT-

-

Cheavy: I've come to make an announcement! FRANKENSTEIN IS A BITCH-ASS MOTHERFUCKER-

-

Medic: Oh hey look, it's Sniper. Hopefully he didn't hear me call his name. *calls Heavy* Hey, Heavy?

Heavy: What's up, baby?

Medic: I found Sniper. He's dead. You want me to punish him?

Heavy: No, don't do that. He's already dead.

Cheavy: WHY IS YOUR HEAVY ON THE SAME LINE AS THE VILLAIN LINE!?

-

Cheavy: WHO POSTED MY NUDES ON TWITTER.COM!?

-

Miss Pauling: I have this manual on how to hack into the Twitter headquarters just so I can post it to the whole world! So you better hurry up with your explanation before I just do it!

Medic: It looks like every Tetris block at once!

Cheavy, over the radio: HAVE YOU BEEN FUCKING TALKING ABOUT MY DICK AGAIN!? ON GOD, WHEN I SEE YOU AGAIN IT IS ON SIGHT! IT IS ON SIGHT-

Medic: Piss off. *hangs up* Anyways, begone thot.

[honeylikesfanfic]

Do not repost without credit.

Warnings: Blood, Gun, Knives, Death, Swearing, Murder and Obsession.

This short horror story was made by me as my attempt to recreate the feeling of early creepypasta stories. Enjoy.

---------

  “Breaking news! Three teens were declared missing and presumably dead this morning! 17-year-old Alex Klerk, 18-year-old Maddie Smith, and 19-year-old Abby Fredrick are missing as of 7:00 AM today. A note was found reading ‘Revenge’ written in blood on their bedroom wall at the crime scene. It's believed there's a killer on the loose in the Colorado Springs area, and it's suggested to stay inside at night and make sure your doors and windows are locked. Additionally, 19-year-old Ava Graywood has gone missing, it is unsure if it's related to the murders as there was no blood found in her room. There is an investigation going on at the moment. Stay tuned for further updates.”

—

  My peaceful slumber was disturbed, all I could see was my dark room, only lit by the moonlight that snuck through my blinds. The dead silence was eerie. My TV must have finally shut off, without the background noise I could hear the creaking of the old house settling. 

   Checking the time on my phone, I noticed it was only an hour till I had to get up for school. “Dammit… I can't sleep.” My bed let out a sound as I sat up from my comfortable position. “Maybe a snack will help.” I grew up in this house for years, I still remember moving here during fifth grade. Carefully avoiding the spots on the floor I knew would creak, I made it to the kitchen. Opening the snack cabinet, I found a box of granola bars. “This'll do.” 

   The sounds of footsteps halted my movement just as I was about to take a bite of my food. Dad shouldn't be awake… And Mom should have left for work hours ago. The noise continued. At this moment I should have run out of the house or woke my dad up, but I didn't… Carefully walking up the stairs, I found my bedroom door was open. I Know I Closed It. 

   As I slowly approached my room I noticed my once-closed window, now open. Facing away from me stood a figure over my bed, a big dark jacket covering their form along with baggy pants. A flash of light from their hand caught my attention, a knife. My breath stutters as a gasp leaves my mouth involuntarily. The figure's head whipped around to me, they had long black hair that mostly covered their face. All I could see was their bright green eyes. So terrifying yet captivating at the same time.

   I thought I was done for. I couldn't fight for the life of me, and my body would not move from my bedroom doorway no matter how much I wanted to run to my Dad. The blaring sound of my alarm broke my trance, turning on my heel. I sprinted to my parent's room to wake my Father. 

   “DAD! DAD WAKE UP THERE'S SOMEONE IN THE HOUSE!” My non-stop shaking finally woke him from his deep sleep.

   “Someone's in the house?” He heaved out of bed faster than I thought he could. “Abby, where did you see them?!” I pointed toward my room, down the hallway. “Stay here.” He grabbed his gun from his nightstand and stomped to my room. It felt like time stopped when I heard two gunshots fire off. “That fucker!” My Father yelled.

“Dad?! What happened?” Entering my bedroom I found my Father facing my window, clutching his side as blood gushed out. The intruder was now missing from my room. “Holy Shit! Dad!” 

“They stabbed me! I'm calling 911!” It felt as if the world was crashing down on me. My Dad was hurt, I know it sounds childish but I always saw him as this Superman figure like most kids do…

   The panic finally set in once I noticed a note on my pillow. ‘Revenge’ was written in bold red inked letters on a sheet of paper.

—

   “Abby, where the hell have you been?! You haven't shown up for school in a week!” Maddie, one of my best friends, clutched my arm as Alex and Ava approached from our lunch table. “Where have you been? No calls or texts, you had us worried sick Abby!” Alex said, running his hand through his brown hair that matched with his bark eyes. My childhood friend, Ava silently watched me, she was always a speak-if-spoken-to person.

   “I'm sorry, there was something that came up at home. I can't talk about it though…” Maddie shook her head. “What do you mean you can't talk about it? Is there something going on with your parents?”

   “No, it's just..” The trio stared at me with eyes of concern, I couldn't lie to them anymore. “You can't tell anyone, but someone broke into my house last Monday and stabbed my Dad. There's a police investigation going on right now, my family and I have been staying at a hotel and only just yesterday were we able to move back to our house. It's only now that my Mom is ok with me coming back to school.” The look those three gave me was something I don't think I could describe, a mix of horror and pity was warped on their faces. 

   “Abby… We're so sorry, is your Father OK?” Alex was the first to break the silence. “Yeah, he was treated in the hospital. I've been in therapy for the past week. I'm just terrified to think what would have happened if I hadn't woken up.”

   The bell rang, I didn't get to eat my lunch. Although I probably wouldn't have eaten anyway. “How about we all go out after school today? Go watch a movie or go to the mall? To help clear your mind a bit.” Ava finally spoke up, a small smile on her lips. Her black hair was in its usual ponytail. Maddie shook her head. “I can't today, I have dance practice after school today.” Ava's eyes narrowed at her response. 

   “It's fine Ava... I'll be fine.” Only a few students remained in the cafeteria. “I have to get going, talk to you guys later!” I said before leaving. I don't know if it was because of me, but the group seemed to be distant today.

—

   Ping!

   The sound of my phone broke me from my book. There was a text from Maddie. 

-

Madds: “Hey! Are you busy right now?”

ABBA: “Hey, no not at the moment. Just got home not too long ago. Why what's up?”

Madds: “Let's go to the mall!”

ABBA: “I thought you had dance practice?”

Madds: “I lied, I didn't wanna bring it up but Ava, Alex, and I got in a fight a few days ago. I don't want to get into detail though it's been resolved for the most part.”

ABBA: “Oh.”

ABBA: “I guess I could go out. Who will be joining?”

Madds: “Just Alex”

Madds: “I'll be over soon!” 

ABBA: “Alright, see you soon!” 

—

   It felt wrong to leave Ava out, I've been friends with her since kindergarten. She was always alone off in the corner of the room drawing or getting bullied by other kids. So when we both became friends I made it my mission to break her out of her shell. 

   “Abby, come on! Stop moping around. Let's go to Spencer's next!” Maddie pulled me by my arm into the store, poor Alex had been forced to hold all of Maddie's bags. I should get a few shirts while I'm here. I rummaged through the clothing racks of discounted shirts, they all ranged from vulgar to just plain fandom shirts, but none spoke to me. I found one that had an anime character on it. I recognized it from one of the shows Ava would often watch on her phone during lunch. Setting the shirt down I left to go find Maddie and Alex. There wasn't much space to move or hide in the store so I located them rather quickly. 

   As I approached the two I noticed Maddie's look of annoyance plastered on her face. “What's wrong Maddie?” She rolled her blue eyes. “Ava's being a drama queen in the group chat. She found out we're at the mall and is now going off.” Great… Don't get me wrong I care for the girl but she was a very jealous person. “It's about as bad as when we went to the movies on her birthday last year without her. Like it's not my fault she has no friends, geez.” Maddie turns her phone off, flipping her blonde hair to the side and heads to the cashier to check out. My phone started to ring, it's Ava. Great… 

-

“Hey, Ava.”

“Don't ‘Hey Ava’ me! You guys went to the mall without me! What the hell?!”

“Ava it's not a big deal, I'll get you something while I'm here.”

“That's not the point! You guys always leave me out of things! I'm hurt Abby, you're supposed to be my best friend.”

Maddie finished paying for her stuff and started to walk out of the store, Alex trailing behind her. 

“We do not! Look, we'll talk later, I just need some time away from stress. Alright?”

   There was no response from her side of the call, only the sound of the call disconnecting. Whatever, she can go pout to herself. If she wanted to, she could drive up and join us. 

   “Alright I think we should all head home, it's getting late and my folks are still iffy on letting me out of the house since the incident.” Maddie sighed. “We've only been out for two hours, but fine. Let's go.”

Alex's sigh of relief didn't escape my notice. I'm sure he was glad this was all over as well. I, however, could only look forward to sleeping in my own bed.

—

   This situation felt familiar. The silence filled my dark bedroom, the only light seen was from the moonlight that escaped through my open window. The cold wind whistled through it. It shouldn't be open, I couldn't move. Only my eyes could turn to my left to see the figure from a week ago standing there with a syringe in hand. Their face was now covered by a mask with a thin black painted smile and two closed grinning eyes.

   “You lied to me, Abby… You promised me we'd be friends till death. I guess it's lucky for you, I never break my promises.”

The syringe was placed on my neck as the liquid was injected. 

   “Don't worry, the other two already met the same fate you will, we'll all be together soon enough. This'll be painless.”

  A feeling of numbness flushed through my body as I grew drowsy, her hand covered my mouth as she raised her knife. The glint of the moonlight hit her blade before it plunged down into my neck…

—

[tsuki-sennin]

Back from the dead once more! Ohsama Sentai Kingohger! Episodes 20-23! I uh... intended to demote this thread of watch-throughs to a monthly basis, but uh... well, I've definitely missed that one!

Anywho, when we last left off, Yanma and Jeremy accidentally made Racules unable to be prosecuted, so all that remains is for Gira to knock his ass out.

Spoilers, I guess...

-Marriage~!

-Imagine getting hitched in the name of a giant beetle.

-Shio... Shiobara? No, Shibari! Shiokawa! Shiokara, fuck.

-Well, at least this royal wedding was short.

-"You done fucked up, Gira."

-Rita's equally unamused with you as they are.

-Family :))))

-"...I am not doing that."

-"If you wish to see your sister with all her fingernails still in her hands, then you will give me my lance back. ...Big... Brugther..."

-Hello, Jeremy.

-"And then the opposite happened." jokes. My favorite.

-Jeremy, that ain't even subtext.

-"Pweeeeeeease don't hurt me, desu!"

-Oh I see how this'll end. A big ol' kerfuffle.

-A threat in a cruel joke.

-Effective.

-Hello, Dezzy

-I see Slippin' Jimmy's harebrained schemes have finally reached their limit.

-Dethrone!

-Goddamn Ohgercalibur Zero's design is still so elegant...

-Ohgai Busou!

-"Hiiiiiii~! :3"

-Himeno looks like she's about to commit the worst crime you could ever commit to an author.

-"Oh, I didn't see this coming."

-"Kick his ass, Gira!"

-#NotMyKing

-This is how the War of the Roses went down, right?

-Ohger Slash~!

-Decrowned!

-"Cruel! Cowardly! Creepy, even!"

-Gira...

-Always a man of the people, huh?

-Even Racules felt that way, once upon a time.

-Too bad that day has long sinced past.

-Her comes Boshimar!

-:O

-BANG!?

-"Oh~! Who'da thunk~?"

-JIMMY

-Played like a goddamn fiddle.

-"You... vermin."

-No more transformation from the brothers this duel, eh?

-"A kingdom is like an enormous clock. It only works if all the little cogs mesh together. A clock must be clean, well lubricated, and wound tight."

-Oh, you finally get it~! Good for you~!

-"Do you hear the voices of the people?"

-Thanks, Kaguragi.

-Long live the king!

-Off he goes~!

-This is the hypest shit ever, I swear.

-Gira wins. Fatality.

-...definitely not a fatality, let's be real, that motherfucker's coming back.

-Long live the King.

-Well, considering how huge it is, it's only natural that Shugoddam's king be challenged.

-Oh that's adorable, this one starts with the dance

-Definitely a lot more simple in choreography than Ore Koso Only One or

-Oh for fuck's sake, Geats does the dance too?

-Man... I can't escape that guy, can I?

-Waaaait... oh fuck me, it's a recap episode.

-Well, at least this post is gonna be regular unreasonably long.

-Ryneor...

-So, you want Gira to establish dominance.

-"I'll do whatever you want if I lose!"

-DOUGA YOU FUCK

-Quiz~!

-Tonbokkuri~!

-Weh

-This is an excuse for Yanma to flex, huh?

-Well at least N'Kosopa's IT isn't worse than ours.

-I wish I had the confidence Douga has in bullshitting my way through job interviews.

-"Your turn :3"

-Thank you Himeno.

-Now this is a job far beyond my abilities.

-Let's get fucking cooking.

-Hire me, Kuroda-san! I can wear a bag on my head and cook decently well-ish.

-KAGURAGI CHEATED

-...goddamn, that looks so good though...

-Arrest him, Morphonia~!

-Oh

-A staring contest

-Of course, naturally.

-"This place sucks, shut your mouth."

-At last! A job!

-Outta my way old man, I'm getting that job!

-Oh, it's Duuga

-Or Duga, maybe.

-"You're hired :)"

-Back at square one with him.

-"So yeah, I lost all of these."

-So... Yanma's planning a coup, Himeno's gunning for a monopoly, Kaguragi's forcing farmland onto foreign soil... and Rita demands region locking.

-Op, no time to think about that, it's the Bugnarak!

-Thank you, King Gira~!

-Good luck, Douga.

-Anyways, next episode~!

-Oh shit, Daigorg.

-Oh fuck, he ate the bugs

-OH THAT'S A BIG BOY

-BIG BOY

-Extreme KingOhger~!

-He ATE them!

-Holy shit his pick is a MOAB.

-Okay

-This seems fair.

-Hello, Jimmy.

-"Insects" seems like it'd be a slur for the Bognarok, kinda weird hearing it from Kamejim.

-Yanma does not say robot rights, good to know.

-Good point.

-Thanks, Jeremy.

-Well, we're fucked.

-OH?

-A secret lies within the castle.

-"Extenuating circumstances~!"

-"Like how juicy this secret is?"

-Ohhhhhhh

-Kamejim

-Oh hey Suzume.

-GIANT ROBOT

-"Ding ding ding~!"

-"...okay, please stop."

-Of course, you wouldn't have an easy time turning your castle into a giant robot. Why wouldn't you?

-Here they come!

-Electrodrunk!

-Oh, this is some serious shit we're into.

-Kuwagon...

-No soul...

-:O

-Of course...

-Always evolving technology. Your giant bug robots feel fear.

-Time for us to fucking go.

-So, Kuwagon's very soul is in the crown, is it?

-Thanks, Yanma :)

-Friends :)

-Plant the lance.

-"Ohhhhh this ain't good."

-King Caucasus Kabuto...

-Once again, we perform maintenance!

-Ah, this is the place.

-First Vedalia, now Kofuki.

-HIMENO????

-Okay, thanks.

-Racules is dead, buddy.

-No chance.

-"Our technology sucks."

-2000 years will do that.

-"Hold up."

-Gira's off to ask his bug friends.

-That's a start~!

-...that's a terrible start!

-Jesus Christ, that number makes my head spin.

-Called him by name...

-"Listen close, my minions!"

-Holy shit, this is horrifying

-"Either die to the King or die to me! It makes no difference."

-Sitting back the way a king does just ain't Gira's style.

-One gear left.

-Boone...

-Run lad!

-Kamejim Jumpscare

-Spiders Jeremy strikes once again!

-"Do it, you big lumbering oaf!"

-King! King! King! King!

-"MOVE IT, MOVE IT, MOVE IT-"

-Sit your ass down on that throne, boy.

-It's beautiful! King Caucasus Kabuto!

-Launch!

-Blocked

-"Hercules Axe! Come forth!"

-Daigorg is on the chopping block.

-Complete and utter bisection.

-The guys are here :)

-"Goddammit not again..."

-A true man of the people, that Gira...

-OH FUCK KOFUKI

-Coronation~!

-There's a whole movie about that, I hear.

-And I can't watch it~!

-MATSURI DA!?

-Dethnarak falls soon.

-...not right now though, I need a break.

-Maybe later tonight~!

[charrfie]

maybe victor frankenstein for the character ask 👀? love all your art btw!!

How I feel about this character:

Well I'm fairly sure that everyone following my blog by now knows exactly how I feel about Victor lmao. He's my biggest comfort character atm!!! I don't wanna quote raccoon word for word, but what I reblogged from their acc a little while ago summed it up pretty well. He's super interesting and super complex!! I have a soft spot for morally gray characters, yeah, but it's more than that!! Just how a kindhearted and passionate character can also be careless and have a shit ton of flaws that really makes you take a step back and really think about "hang on, should I like this character or not?" I absolutely love that. I could go on but this'll get too long if I do haha

Romantic ships:

Once again, another thing you guys most definitely know already is that waltonstein is a big comfort ship for me. It's so tragic, and has so much potential!! So many unspoken things, and so many missed opportunities to make a change in something!! And Walton is so repressed too, it's so upsetting. He barely even notices how hard he's pining. This is another topic I could go one and on about but I'll spare you all the details for now

Clervenstein is adorable too!! Henry sacrificed so much while trying to help Victor along and make sure he knew he was loved- genuinely loved- it breaks my heart sometimes I swear. They both deserved better :"^(

Non-romantic:

Elizabeth and Victor ALL THE WAY BAYBE!!! Ugh I absolutely adore their character dynamic (a lot of it is personal hc stuff but still haha). Considering that I would view their relationship as one to be never truly romantic in the book anyways- neither one actually having feelings for the other, rather, just doing what society/alphonse expected of them- I still value how close they are big time. If it wasn't obvious that one of my favorite dynamics is the "we're family but we're also close/best friends" through the way I view Margaret and Walton's dynamic, Victor and Elizabeth is another example of that for you.

Unpopular opinion:

As Raccoon said in their version of this character ask for Victor, actually liking Victor is the most unpopular opinion I could have. Hes a really complex and interesting character as I said earlier, and a lot of the shit having to do with him or his character in general is so overlooked. People tend to want to find a bad guy and a good guy in the story, but sometimes that's just not possible! He's too complex of a character to be reduced to a singular label like that, theres both good and bad in him, and hes faced with moral dilemmas that could be handled hundreds of different ways. Whether or not you like him is supposed to be confusing (and the same applies to Creature) !!!

One thing I wish would've happened:

I mean I really wish he would've have just kinda died maybe. But that's a given. So I'll give you one more thing!! I wish there had been more transparency in general. Just once, I wish he would've opened up about how he genuinely needed help- just one moment on him coming to terms with "oh fuck wait maybe I do need someone else's take on this stuff." More personal turmoil on whether or not her could try to express these things and all that! Hopefully that makes sense lmao

I'M SORRY THIS IS SO LONG BUT THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENT ON MY ART BTW!!!! It means so much ;; (I needed to make sure I got that in there!)

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [Morning after the snap incident] Janis: I can't fucking do this, I can't be around her Jimmy: come out Jimmy: I will too Janis: 🚬 break? Janis: someone's getting smacked otherwise Jimmy: & my teacher won't even hear me go so fuck it Jimmy: gimme a sec Janis: God bless that deaf bitch Janis: wish I was, soz Diego Jimmy: how shit is it? Jimmy: 1-100? Janis: can't be anything but 100 Jimmy: let's go then Jimmy: we don't need to be here Janis: I really thought she'd stay home Janis: how can she sit through this but not when they all were talking about me Jimmy: fuck knows Janis: this is a fucking joke Jimmy: least Mia ain't in your class Jimmy: her smug face is Jimmy: you'd knock her out Janis: do you think she put her onto this or Janis: how is she this stupid, Jesus Jimmy: I bet she weren't like 👎 Jimmy: Or OMG BABES NO!!😱😱 or whatever Janis: 🙄🙄 Janis: never mind whatever the fuck he actually said Janis: got the gist Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: it's bollocks Jimmy: that he said it & she fell for it Jimmy: what they're all saying now too Janis: it'd be alright if she just hated me this much Janis: whatever Janis: but it ain't alright she's this fucking thick and gonna just let herself be treated like this by him and everyone else laughing rn Jimmy: you should tell her Jimmy: nobody else is gonna Jimmy: it don't have to be now though, doubt he's going anywhere yet Janis: I tried Jimmy: alright Jimmy: like I said, fuck it then Jimmy: you did your bit Jimmy: let's go anywhere else Janis: there's nothing I can do Janis: if she wants to be this much of a fool then why should I care Jimmy: fuck knows what she wants Jimmy: but yeah, there's nowt else you can do Janis: Attention Janis: that's why she ain't crying now Jimmy: 🙄🙄 Jimmy: she's getting it Janis: yeah Janis: but us too Janis: who asked Jimmy: I'll knock him out again however much attention I get Jimmy: worth that Janis: if I have to see him again Janis: swear Jimmy: is he that much of an idiot? Jimmy: proper question Janis: definitely Janis: why else would he do all this Jimmy: then he'll get what he fucking gets Janis: yeah Janis: ugh fuck this Janis: I'm out Janis: do you have painkillers too by any chance Jimmy: 'course Jimmy: never know when my dad's gonna kick off, do I Janis: 😞 Janis: fuck all of this Janis: let's go Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: nobody's at mine til tonight Jimmy: we can go there for now Janis: yeah Janis: good Jimmy: 🐶💕 will sort you out Jimmy: you'll be alright Janis: just distract me okay Jimmy: I promise Jimmy: challenge accepted, okay Jimmy: always Janis: thanks Janis: seriously Janis: as if this wasn't shit enough Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: it's nowt Jimmy: I love you Jimmy: I wanna do more Jimmy: leave it out with your sorry too Jimmy: you ain't done nowt wrong Janis: what can I say then Jimmy: just come with me Jimmy: it's alright Janis: okay Janis: I love you Jimmy: I'm outside your classroom Janis: ready to run Janis: undoubtedly calling the behaviour team rn Jimmy: I'm about ready to kick the door in & shit everyone up Jimmy: probably shouldn't but Janis: 😂 Janis: that'd be pretty funny Jimmy: then I'll do it Jimmy: owt to cheer you up, girl Janis: you're so cute Jimmy: [does the thing cos little shit] Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [run boys run 'cos not allowed to physically stop you leaving] Jimmy: [🚬 when they a safe distance away lol, he'd pass it straight to her cos gentlemanly] Janis: ['you're the best'] Jimmy: ['you'] Janis: [shakes head like nah] Janis: already feel better for not being in there Jimmy: ['you are'] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: hey Janis: come here Janis: [kisses please] Jimmy: [says ILY out loud after & then more kisses after that just because] Janis: ['I missed you'] Jimmy: [says it back because obvs same] Janis: why is everyone shit but you Jimmy: everyone's a dickhead Janis: [nods] Janis: why can't everyone be you Jimmy: only one of me, soz Jimmy: but I am all yours so Janis: yeah? Janis: say that again Jimmy: [says 'I'm just for you, baby. All yours.' in her ear] Janis: [makes an oh noise legit] Janis: I'm yours Jimmy: [cue even more kisses cos can't not when she's so hot like] Janis: you're Janis: a very good distraction Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: I accepted the challenge Janis: [look of love] Janis: I'm glad you did Jimmy: I weren't gonna say fuck you Janis: long as you do, say what you like Jimmy: [is giving her such a sexy look] Jimmy: come here Janis: [does] Jimmy: [a really hot make out sesh like imagine he's pushed her up against wherever & everything it's a mood] Janis: ['We should go'] Jimmy: [just nods cos what are words] Janis: can we walk yours from here? Jimmy: yeah Janis: first Janis: just Janis: more Jimmy: [does because no arguments here ever but especially right now] Janis: [being really extra 'cos the frustration in general rn] Jimmy: [likewise cos 1. challenge accepted and 2. living for it shamelessly like soz everything is shit but not for how hot this is] Janis: ['you're the only thing that matters'] Jimmy: ['you'] Janis: ['this, then...show me'] Jimmy: [yet again where are you lads cos there's no stopping him rn makes me lol] Janis: I wish this was all we ever had to do Janis: none of the other bullshit Jimmy: right now it is Janis: [holding his face to hers 'promise'] Jimmy: [says it back obvs & seals it with a really good kiss for emphasis] Janis: [taking his hand 'cos come on lads] Jimmy: [walking & handholding as per] Janis: never been gladder you live so close Jimmy: never been gladder that we're going to mine instead of yours Jimmy: never been glad actually Jimmy: until today Janis: seriously Janis: Ian ain't a 'come home for lunch' type is he Jimmy: [lols because so much no & shakes his head] Janis: 🙏🙌 Jimmy: we're lucky if he comes home for tea Jimmy: loads of time Janis: again, glad rn Janis: take as long as we can get Jimmy: you've got forever, remember Janis: [smiles] Janis: 'course 👻 boy Jimmy: I love you, alright Janis: I love you Janis: do you ever think like Janis: how this happened Jimmy: 'course Janis: it's fast Janis: isn't it Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: shit happens fast Jimmy: it can change in a second Jimmy: just the one Jimmy: someone's there then they aren't or you've got nowt then you do Janis: yeah Janis: guess I'm not used to good shit happening that fast Janis: the bad stuff, all the time Jimmy: me too but Jimmy: again, I'm glad Jimmy: like you said Janis: yeah Janis: shouldn't question it Janis: just Janis: enjoy it Janis: right Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: & let nowt ruin it Jimmy: ever Janis: [nods] Janis: it's the only good thing right now Janis: I need to keep it Janis: and you Jimmy: me too Jimmy: I tried so fucking hard with my ex you know 'cause I thought it were Jimmy: but it weren't Jimmy: you're different Jimmy: this is Janis: not like you're alone in that, remotely Janis: can only end one of two ways, when you think about it Jimmy: I didn't wanna think 'bout that though Jimmy: the end Janis: who does Janis: enjoying it whilst it lasts, the moment, the journey, whatever Janis: I'm the weirdo because I don't let myself 'cos I can't think of anything but Jimmy: you are a MASSIVE weirdo, always saying it me Jimmy: but I get it, I think about that loads too & the start Jimmy: how it did, what I did, what I could've Janis: yeah Janis: just Janis: yeah Janis: least this didn't start too fucked up Jimmy: it was always good Jimmy: just Jimmy: I couldn't tell you Janis: it made it less complicated, I think Janis: least we had a label even if it was fake, like Jimmy: & it's not like you were gonna come into the CG order a coffee & I could Jimmy: or at school Janis: I get it, I'm an unapproachable bitch Jimmy: it's not you Jimmy: I don't do that Jimmy: I don't let myself with any of that shit Janis: girls come to you, yeah Janis: bit of a brag but I'll allow it Jimmy: [nudges her playfully] Jimmy: that weren't what I meant but alright yeah Janis: [nudges back] Janis: I know what you meant Jimmy: 'course you do Jimmy: it's the same for you Jimmy: it's on our terms or nowt Janis: exactly Janis: usually the latter Janis: easiest for me Jimmy: why that lad's crying Jimmy: that & I hurt him Janis: 😂 yeah you did Janis: & he has to fake date my sister Jimmy: at least it was fake for us both when we did it Jimmy: or she's more convincing than either of us were, I don't know Janis: nah Janis: I mean it's mutually beneficial 'cos she's getting the attention she wants Janis: but she clearly thinks he likes her too, whatever he's said to win her 'round Jimmy: nah she ain't getting the attention from you Jimmy: that's what she wants Jimmy: like you're gonna beg her not to do it Janis: 🙄 Janis: yeah 'cos I well loved him Janis: girl code, babes Jimmy: it ain't about him Janis: he'll be 💔 Jimmy: sure he'll be relieved Jimmy: easier to drop her when you don't come running in a bit Janis: honestly Janis: give it up already Janis: if you knew me at all Janis: how are we thinking this'll work Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: I'd do anything to make you pay attention to me if you weren't Janis: yeah right Janis: you just wanna fuck indie Janis: i told you no Jimmy: I mean it, I would Jimmy: & yeah obviously I do, she's really fit & decent to chat to Jimmy: older woman too so 💕 Janis: shut up Janis: you're a dickhead Jimmy: alright I'll just here me & my thoughts, not chatting just 😍😍😍 over her Janis: I'll just be leaving Jimmy: [pulls her close to him] Jimmy: you can't, you promised Janis: I can do whatever I want Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: do whatever you want Jimmy: right now Janis: ['yeah right' and drops his hand and keeps walking] Jimmy: [offers her a 🚬 which we know is a ploy to make her come back lol] Janis: [smoking in silence] Jimmy: don't be jealous Jimmy: I wanna fuck you too Janis: actually piss off Janis: not in the mood Jimmy: come on Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Janis: don't talk to me Jimmy: don't ignore me Jimmy: how about that Janis: why would I want to talk to you rn Jimmy: 1. 'cause I wasn't serious & you know that so 2. why wouldn't you Janis: I said, I ain't in the mood Janis: just leave it Jimmy: no Janis: You're so fucking annoying Jimmy: You are Janis: no I ain'r Jimmy: yeah you are Jimmy: what's this mood for? Janis: what you think Janis: you ain't stupid Jimmy: you ain't Jimmy: so stop Janis: I'm going for a run Jimmy: [stands in front of her & looks at her like stop it woman] Janis: [raises her eyebrows like are you serious] Jimmy: talk to me Jimmy: this is bollocks Janis: I've told you already Janis: got nothing else to say about it Jimmy: fuck's sake Jimmy: I didn't bin off school for you to ignore me Jimmy: tell me what's wrong Janis: Jesus, listen Janis: you've pissed me off Jimmy: you've pissed me off Jimmy: so what Janis: so I want some time to myself Jimmy: piss off then Janis: trying to Janis: [moves past him] Jimmy: [keeps walking like alright then] Janis: [going to the park obvs] Jimmy: [is going home obvs] Jimmy: at least take the dog with you if you're going Janis: Polite Janis: but I will Janis: she's probably desperate Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you bringing her or what Jimmy: I'm going home Jimmy: give a shit about her Janis: well no shit but she'll be there Janis: you want her walked, could at least drop her Jimmy: like I said, give a shit Jimmy: you're the one all 🐶💕 Janis: you know she needs walking or you wouldn't have said so just do it Jimmy: you're doing what you want & I'm doing what I want Jimmy: which don't include ferrying the dog about Jimmy: come and get her if you're bothered Jimmy: or don't Janis: fine Janis: I won't Janis: ain't my dog Jimmy: 👌 Janis: be stubborn and give yourself more work to do later Jimmy: I ain't giving myself nowt to do Janis: Cass then Janis: worse, whatever Jimmy: [shrugs] Janis: [🙄] Jimmy: I ain't meant to be here right now she ain't gonna miss what she weren't gonna have Janis: whatever, you'll be the one in the house with her when she's going mental Jimmy: yeah I will Jimmy: so you can leave it out Jimmy: not your dog or your problem Janis: I can have an opinion Jimmy: & I can ignore it Jimmy: loads of that going on Janis: sure you can Janis: and I'm not ignoring you Jimmy: [🙄] Janis: I listening to everything you had to say Janis: not my fault it weren't funny Jimmy: not my fault you brought her up Jimmy: or take everything really seriously Janis: yeah well you know what to do if you don't like it Jimmy: do I? Jimmy: what the fuck is that then Janis: you're doing it Jimmy: you're doing it Janis: I'm going for a run Jimmy: I got that the first time you said it Jimmy: & I get why Jimmy: even though it's bollocks Janis: how is it bollocks Jimmy: you're pissed off at me for nowt Jimmy: that's bollocks Janis: well sorry but that's how I feel Janis: what you want me to do about it Jimmy: I've told you Janis: talking isn't gonna help when you're just telling me I'm wrong Jimmy: It ain't my fault that you are Janis: see Janis: why Janis: why would I do this with you right now Jimmy: why would I wanna fuck someone else Jimmy: never mind your sister Jimmy: sort yourself out Janis: hold on Janis: you gave the reasons lemme scroll up Janis yeah obviously I do, she's really fit & decent to chat to older woman too so 💕 Janis: there you go, welcome Jimmy: & I've given you loads more reasons why I wouldn't Jimmy: why don't you trust me Janis: it ain't about trust Jimmy: why don't you believe me then Janis: what's to believe, you said what you said Jimmy: I've also said that I don't want anyone else & I fucking love you Jimmy: loads of times Janis: yeah Janis: they don't cancel each other out Jimmy: yeah they do Janis: I don't think so Jimmy: well what the fuck do you want me to do? Jimmy: I can't keep defending myself for something I ain't done & wouldn't Janis: I ain't asking you to Jimmy: this is such bollocks Jimmy: whatever Jimmy: go Janis: fine Jimmy: 👍 Janis: fuck off Jimmy: fuck you Janis: you Janis: you started it Jimmy: you did Jimmy: it ain't my fault everything's shit Jimmy: don't take it out on me Janis: yeah well you're meant to help Janis: not add to it Jimmy: you added to it Jimmy: just let it go Jimmy: it was a stupid thing to say, alright Jimmy: but like I said, you brought her up Janis: like I didn't know anyway Janis: you didn't have to say it Jimmy: it ain't even about her Jimmy: it's about you reckoning I would Jimmy: that there's something to be jealous of Jimmy: yeah, she's fit & not a total dickhead, but that don't mean owt Jimmy: loads of girls are Jimmy: I'm with you Jimmy: I want you Janis: Then go talk to them Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: I don't want to Jimmy: I wanna talk to you, you dickhead Janis: you haven't tried Janis: so go Jimmy: stop Jimmy: I've been with other girls, you know that Jimmy: there's nobody like you Jimmy: & I've never felt like this Janis: [is just looking at him like] Jimmy: [all the intense looks from him too like BELIEVE ME BITCH ILY] Janis: can we just Janis: forget it Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: can you? Janis: alright, if I wanted to talk to a teacher I'd go back Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I'm being serious Jimmy: are we gonna have to keep doing this or what? Janis: just don't say stupid shit again and we won't Jimmy: alright Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: I'm being serious Jimmy: me too Jimmy: I didn't mean to kick all this off Jimmy: I say stupid shit sometimes Jimmy: but I'll try not to Janis: whatever, it's done with Jimmy: okay Janis: I don't wanna fuck you still though Janis: sorry Jimmy: then don't Janis: I can't Jimmy: so it's not done with Janis: it is Janis: just Jimmy: it isn't Jimmy: there's still a problem Janis: I just don't feel great about myself right now that's all Janis: that ain't all you is it Jimmy: no Janis: no what Jimmy: it's not me Jimmy: do you want me to beat the shit out of that lad again? Jimmy: 'cause I will Janis: no Janis: it's not gonna stop him doing what he wants Jimmy: I meant what I said earlier, owt to cheer you up Jimmy: anything for you ever Janis: you just can't fix this Janis: but it's nice that you care to try Jimmy: I can't fix anything Jimmy: escape, remember Jimmy: that's all there is Janis: yeah Janis: the foundation of all solid relationships I'm sure Jimmy: never seen one Jimmy: I'll let you know if I ever do Janis: 👍 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: where are you going Jimmy: home Jimmy: unless you're gonna run around my garden we gotta part ways Janis: bye then Jimmy: yeah Janis: [skip 'cos nothing to say] Jimmy: ? Jimmy: what was that? Jimmy: too much of a queue Janis: yeah something like that Janis: don't worry 👍 Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Jimmy: you know you can go to the front Janis: wow, perks Jimmy: 👍 Janis: plenty overpriced coffee places in this town Jimmy: & you walked into mine so Jimmy: what is it? Janis: now I need a reason Janis: soz, didn't know I had to book in Jimmy: to walk in & straight yeah Jimmy: out* Jimmy: bollocks don't you have a reason Jimmy: go on Janis: you know I don't even drink coffee Janis: what you think Janis: I was there to see you, dickhead Jimmy: I know that Jimmy: & now you don't wanna Jimmy: so what's wrong? Janis: you're busy Jimmy: & Janis: and Janis: it's not that important, obviously Jimmy: whatever Jimmy: piss off again then Janis: don't talk to me like that Jimmy: at least I'm talking to you Jimmy: this is just bollocks Janis: to tell me to piss off? Janis: yeah no need Janis: message received loud and clear Jimmy: to tell you to stop Jimmy: this Janis: what have I done? Jimmy: what have I? Jimmy: why don't you wanna see me or chat to me Janis: you've got plenty of people to chat to Janis: you're fine Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: none of them are you Jimmy: I miss you, alright Janis: nah you don't Jimmy: yeah I do Janis: yeah right Janis: well I came to see you not the other way 'round Jimmy: It ain't my fault that you went for the world's longest run Jimmy: right past my house & away from me for ages Jimmy: just finished, did you? Janis: shut up Janis: that's just an excuse Janis: you're over 'chasing' me Janis: fine Jimmy: you shut up Jimmy: I waited for you Jimmy: you never showed Jimmy: if anyone's over this it's you Janis: well how was I supposed to know Janis: I'm not a mindreader Jimmy: nah, just my girlfriend Jimmy: why would I want you around? Jimmy: what the fuck Janis: you said you were going home Jimmy: you said you were going for a run Jimmy: so I was waiting for you at home Jimmy: weren't invited, was I? Janis: no Janis: whatever, this is all beside the point now Jimmy: for you, maybe Jimmy: I got your message loud & clear is the point Janis: no, yours Jimmy: what have I done other than let you go on a run? Janis: you tell me Janis: actually don't Janis: don't need to hear Jimmy: what the fuck are you on about? Janis: you're loving getting consoled, don't lie Jimmy: the dog's the only one missing you other than me Jimmy: so nah, I ain't Jimmy: she can piss off too Janis: yeah 'cos that's what I meant Jimmy: what then Jimmy: you gonna say I'm flirting with customers now Jimmy: 👴👵💕 Janis: don't take the piss out of me Jimmy: I ain't Jimmy: I'm asking Jimmy: what's your issue? Janis: how fast you're moving on Janis: that's my issue Jimmy: 1. didn't actually realise you'd dumped me, tah for letting me know Jimmy: 2. I ain't moved on to nowhere or nowt Jimmy: 3. fuck you Janis: I haven't but you're fine and I'm Jimmy: stop saying I'm fine Janis: saying what I saw Jimmy: soz for not crying into the lattes Jimmy: trying to keep my job Janis: stop taking the piss Janis: I'm trying to talk to you properly Jimmy: stop telling me I'm not being serious Jimmy: that's how I feel Jimmy: like shit Jimmy: but I'm working so I can't just Janis: don't say it like that's what I want to see either Janis: you don't have to fucking Janis: flirt with your coworkers though that isn't part of the job description Jimmy: sort yourself out Jimmy: I'll say it again & mean it as much if not more Janis: fuck off Janis: patronizing prick Jimmy: it ain't patronising to tell you that you're acting mental right now Jimmy: it's how it is Jimmy: I can't talk to someone I walk with now? Jimmy: since when's that been part of the deal Jimmy: work* Janis: there's talking then there's that Janis: I know the difference okay Jimmy: nah you don't alright Jimmy: she has a boyfriend she lives with & who dropped her in Jimmy: I have a girlfriend who's a massive dickhead but I love Janis: doesn't mean you can't fancy each other Janis: does it Jimmy: It means I fancy you Jimmy: more than anyone Janis: okay Jimmy: just come back Janis: I can't Janis: I feel stupid now Jimmy: please Jimmy: I can't do this without you Jimmy: any of it Janis: can you come outside Janis: just for a second Jimmy: I'm due a break Jimmy: you can have 10 minutes Janis: okay Janis: hold on then Jimmy: alright Janis: I don't think I'm far Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: me too Jimmy: I really am Janis: you shouldn't have to be Janis: you didn't do anything Jimmy: I should've dragged you back with me Jimmy: or called Jimmy: or owt else so you know that I didn't want you to fucking go Janis: it's okay, I was telling you to leave me alone Janis: you didn't have much choice Jimmy: but you also told me not to let nowt ruin this Jimmy: I fucked up Jimmy: & I'm sorry Janis: I promised too Janis: so Janis: my fault Jimmy: yeah but like you said, I was supposed to make shit better not worse Jimmy: my fault Janis: you do Jimmy: ask yourself how you feel right now Jimmy: it ain't good Jimmy: so nah Janis: only because I kept myself away from you and I convinced myself of Janis: all kinds of shit that isn't true Janis: it wasn't you Jimmy: just take the apology Jimmy: I need you to Jimmy: I need you Janis: alright Janis: do you take mine too Jimmy: 'course Janis: okay good Janis: come out then Jimmy: [does] Janis: [reunited and it feels so good] Jimmy: [longest hug ever excuse him] Janis: ['I missed you so much'] Jimmy: [says he missed her too & loves her so much & just is not letting go and ugh] Janis: ['I love you, I'm sorry I'm so stupid'] Jimmy: [all the reassuring words & touches 'cause you're so not stupid babe we get it] Janis: ['don't dump me'] Jimmy: ['don't you dump me'] Janis: [shakes head, 'I would never, you'll have to dump me, sorry 'bout it'] Jimmy: [shakes own head & is just looking at her like] Janis: ['but not now, please'] Jimmy: ['not ever'] Janis: ['have to kill me then'] Jimmy: [looks at her like challenge accepted & gives her SUCH A Jimmy: KISS] Janis: ['I really fucking missed you' and more 'cos duh remember you only have 10 minutes lads] Jimmy: [if there was ever a time for the pulling her closer thing it's during this make out so] Janis: [all the ilys] Jimmy: [and all the I missed yous & need yous & sorrys too] Janis: ['can I see you properly after work?'] Jimmy: ['Yeah. But stay too, just for a bit. Just'] Janis: [nods, stroking her thumb over his bottom lip] Jimmy: [is 😍 but also a soft boy trying not to cry cos thank fuck everything is okay again] Janis: [little kisses all over his forehead, cheeks, nose etc] Janis: ['I'm really not gonna let it happen again, I swear'] Jimmy: [nods cos what are words but also I believe you bab] Janis: [hugging 'til he has to go] Jimmy: I don't want to Janis: I know Janis: make me a smoothie, I'm staying for a bit, remember Janis: just also not getting you sacked from this one Jimmy: 👌👍 Janis: [one last intense kiss 'cos you dramatic] Jimmy: [just giving it everything like its gonna be years before you can do it again & not hours] Jimmy: alright Jimmy: come on Janis: [handholding walking in bitch] Jimmy: [walks her to the blatantly best seat for being near him and squeezes her hand before letting go & leaving her there but all the looks as he makes this smoothie bitch] Janis: I forgot to say Janis: you look even better in this uniform, bt Janis: w Jimmy: yeah? Janis: mhmm Janis: [obvs looking back] Jimmy: did you dress up for me? Jimmy: 'cause you look Jimmy: [indecent looks rn excuse him other customers its not for you] Janis: [😳] Janis: obviously Janis: told you I was coming here to win you back Jimmy: its Jimmy: it would have worked Janis: would have? Janis: 💔 Jimmy: if you'd just come in & Jimmy: I don't know what your plan was Janis: 🤷 Janis: maybe I'll tell you Jimmy: [brings her the smoothie even though he's not a waitress lol & all the eye contact & lingering hand touch when] Janis: ['tah' 'cos what else can she even rn help] Jimmy: [says 'enjoy' in such a voice like how dare you boy] Janis: I take back what I didn't say Janis: you are flirting with the customers if that's how you're doing it Jimmy: [lols from where he is back at the counter oh boy working hard as per yeah] Janis: 😏 Janis: you're cute Jimmy: you're hot Jimmy: & I just Janis: focus, babe Jimmy: I am Jimmy: on you Jimmy: [sends her a fire sext cos any excuse for a throwback] Janis: this is how trouble starts Jimmy: I've told you before, I'll get in trouble for you Janis: I know Janis: but I've gotta be good for you right now Jimmy: you are Jimmy: you're the best Janis: you Janis: even if you are making me miss you more than I already did Janis: which was so much Jimmy: it just wasn't long enough Jimmy: we need more Jimmy: of everything Janis: yeah Janis: when are you working to, actually Jimmy: 3 more hours Janis: ugh Janis: well, could be worse Janis: lasted this long without actually dying Jimmy: & I'm already dead me Janis: they'd probably recommend a ☕ Janis: but I know the truth Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: you know what I need, girl Janis: are you planning on being this distracting the whole time? Jimmy: It ain't my fault if you're easily distracted Jimmy: [gives her A LOOK as if to prove it cos little shit] Janis: it's entirely your fault Janis: thank you Janis: own it Jimmy: you Jimmy: looking like that Jimmy: making me just want Janis: Jimmy Janis: you can't tease me for 3 whole hours Jimmy: don't challenge me Janis: I can't take it right now Janis: I just Jimmy: let's think of a plan Jimmy: there's gotta be a fire alarm we can set off or some shit Janis: 😂 Janis: better yet, I'll just start a real fire Jimmy: probably don't burn down my livelihood Jimmy: much as I wanna be with you right now Janis: spoilsport Janis: but fine, I'll sit here and drink my drink Janis: 😇 Jimmy: & think of a plan to get me off early Jimmy: I'm serious Janis: 🤔 me, on it Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: tah nerd Janis: shame all your grandparents are too far north to kill off Janis: 'less you can cry hardcore on command, and you know, bit of a rep to get Jimmy: & already 💀 Janis: your boss don't need to know that Janis: that's 4 funerals you can 'go' to, play your cards right Jimmy: an evil genius you Jimmy: why are we pissing about though let's just kill Ian Janis: two dickheads, one stone Janis: like the way you think, boy Jimmy: & there's my mum too Jimmy: add her to the fake funeral list Janis: oh yeah Janis: 'less she's gonna show up at some point, give the game away Jimmy: not here Janis: that works then Jimmy: like I said, add her to the list Janis: 👍 will do Janis: you aren't deathly allergic to anything they might have here, by any chance Jimmy: if I say I am that'd probably get me sacked Jimmy: health & safety gone mad, like Janis: ah true Janis: too risky Janis: just have to fake a medical emergency and put you as my contact Janis: bye mum and dad Jimmy: 👋 Jimmy: soz but not really Janis: lmao this is when I tell you I've got a life-threatening illness Janis: #trapped Jimmy: 👻 club Jimmy: first rule, you gotta be dead or dying so Janis: this is what they make lifetime movies about to scare suburban mums Jimmy: 😂 Janis: #goals always you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: also good smoothie Jimmy: won't tell you it's basically off the menu from here Jimmy: don't wanna 💔 Janis: 💔 my heart too Janis: don't feel special now Jimmy: baby Jimmy: it's still got secret ingredients Jimmy: don't need 🎻🎻 Janis: 😏 hmm Janis: might survive then Jimmy: you have to Jimmy: you've promised Janis: obvs I'm a well untrustworthy bitch though Jimmy: bit late to let me know that now but Jimmy: alright then Janis: like you didn't Jimmy: I trust you with all my heart, you know Janis: shh Janis: don't be so cute Jimmy: could be taking the piss Jimmy: what do you know, girl Janis: it's still cute Janis: and everything, obviously but we don't need to bang on about it Jimmy: 'course not Jimmy: everyone knows we're #goals Janis: sick of how #goals we are Jimmy: you are or the 🌍 is Janis: 🌍 Janis: never me, idiot Jimmy: good Janis: you know how much I love you don't you Jimmy: yeah but Jimmy: say it though Janis: Jimmy, I love you so much I feel like Janis: not loving you is impossible Jimmy: don't not love me Jimmy: ever Janis: I can't, I mean it Janis: but I don't wanna either Janis: it's just Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: I do Janis: it's a lot, right Jimmy: yeah but Jimmy: it's meant to be Jimmy: so that's good Jimmy: it means it's real Janis: it is Janis: that's good then Jimmy: if we're not scared we don't care enough Jimmy: that's what I reckon Jimmy: & if we don't feel like we're gonna 💀 then we're not 💕 enough Janis: I'm alright going with that too Janis: better than admitting we're actually mental or whatever Jimmy: we're that too Jimmy: massive fucking weirdos Janis: [lols from her table] Jimmy: [is heart eyes cos] Janis: should I go walk the dog to kill some time Jimmy: I don't want you to go but Jimmy: you should Janis: I'll come back Janis: promise Jimmy: okay Jimmy: [comes & gives her keys purely so he can touch her again when he does] Janis: [tries to give him a restrained goodbye kiss] Jimmy: [goes for it because he's not gonna get sacked just for that] Janis: 💕 Janis: now I get to see my real bae Jimmy: at least let me finish saying bye before you're thinking about her Jimmy: bit rude Janis: 😏 Janis: okay you can continue Jimmy: no, I can't Jimmy: not how I want Jimmy: so to be continued, baby Janis: 😍 Janis: alright, make it hard to move when I gotta walk out Janis: see how it is Jimmy: #goals Jimmy: as always Jimmy: but seriously Jimmy: I already miss you Janis: I miss you more, trust Janis: try not to lose your dog whilst I'm shamelessly distracted, like Jimmy: & I'll try not to get sacked Jimmy: again Janis: [tattoo insta] Janis: is she actually serious Jimmy: ? Janis: [sends it] Jimmy: shit Jimmy: why Janis: because she's that much of a fucking idiot Janis: because she wants as many shitty tattoos with shitty people as she can Janis: I Janis: Jesus! Jimmy: him too Jimmy: I know he's got some already but Jimmy: fucking hell Jimmy: where'd they even go to get it done Janis: I know my mum didn't do it, that's for sure Janis: probably made my brother 'cos who's believing she's close to 18 Jimmy: yeah exactly Jimmy: & he don't look like he is either Janis: more than her but yeah, probably not Janis: it's so stupid Janis: how long has it even been Jimmy: a week? Jimmy: I don't know Janis: actual joke Janis: 'cept they're taking it too far and no one but him is laughing Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: should've hit him harder Janis: I should Janis: for fuck sake Janis: so what, this is real now yeah, we're all just pretending Jimmy: where is he? let's go knock him out Janis: ha Janis: with my sister, not that he wants to be apparently Jimmy: at yours? Jimmy: easy then Janis: nah Janis: I'm at home Jimmy: bit rude of 'em not to be in smacking distance Janis: seriously Janis: she's gonna be in for it when she gets home though Janis: my big sister's here and she's fuming Jimmy: I can guess which one Jimmy: giving out those #mumvibes Janis: yeah, not your fave so you don't have to rush over Jimmy: she's still hot though Jimmy: let's not be hasty 'bout this Janis: funny 🖕 Janis: if you can calm my ma down you're welcome like Jimmy: I'd have a crack at it Jimmy: ain't got much experience though Jimmy: mine was Jimmy: never calm Janis: yeah Janis: she ain't really Janis: but not like this Jimmy: tell her at least she ain't married to Ian or never been Jimmy: comforting that Jimmy: for all of us Janis: ew Janis: enough incest flying 'round here Jimmy: is there? Janis: ugh, right Janis: could've got away with that Janis: someone would say it eventually Janis: my sister, the mum one, married our cousin Janis: I know Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: you're not taking the piss right now, are you? Janis: sadly not Janis: 😑 Jimmy: how did that come about? Janis: that's what we'd like to know Janis: well everyone is #overit now 'cos how this family does Jimmy: & they're like married & shit? Janis: yeah, kids and everything Janis: it's fucked Jimmy: not to be that dickhead but Jimmy: is that allowed Janis: apparently so Janis: who knew Janis: had a quick google of that beforehand I guess lads Jimmy: well shit me Jimmy: you really are living that 🍀 dream Jimmy: I'm #shook rich girl Janis: shut up Janis: it ain't me it's just my family Janis: I told you they're fucked, hardly the worst Jimmy: do you want me to come over, for real? Jimmy: for you Jimmy: not them Janis: yeah Janis: I'm trying to talk to her but Janis: you can imagine how well that's going Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I'll be there in a bit Jimmy: soon as I can Jimmy: thank fuck I opened at work this morning Janis: 👍 Janis: better if you miss the hysterics Janis: would if I could but you know Jimmy: owt else I can do? Jimmy: it's so fucking Jimmy: caught me unawares but Janis: 'less you've got a laser you're probably good Jimmy: I'm just pleased to see you, babe Jimmy: nowt like that in my pocket soz Janis: 😂 Janis: you're such a dork Janis: thanks Jimmy: mr 😎 me Jimmy: you've got the wrong lad again Janis: come over anyways, yeah Jimmy: alright Jimmy: but I ain't getting a tattoo done Jimmy: don't like you that much Janis: don't be that 😎 Janis: only one it couple at a time, please Jimmy: it would help me remember your name though Jimmy: sort it out, Grace, you've really fucked me over Janis: you ain't putting my name next to barrys Janis: not 2nd best ever, tah Jimmy: ❌ his out first Jimmy: you know you're 🥇 Janis: that'll look like maybe you thought that was my name Janis: like whoops, take 2 Jimmy: it would suit you Jimmy: really pretty Janis: 😏 Janis: so elegant Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: spare my blushes when I call his name out too so Jimmy: tah Janis: hmm Janis: so accomodating me Jimmy: must be why I miss you so much right now Janis: yeah? Jimmy: unless you can think of any other reasons Janis: if anyone's out here listing what's so missable about me, it should be you Jimmy: maybe when I get there Jimmy: if you're Jimmy: nice to me Janis: you know you're the only person I'm nice to Janis: you should feel special, baby Janis: you are Jimmy: you Jimmy: nobody even pays me Janis: if that was your subtle way of asking Janis: rude, at this point Janis: tbh Jimmy: I ain't asking you Jimmy: but like if you fam really wanna be #extra Janis: don't worry Janis: all eyes on princess grace rn Janis: you won't be getting a look in Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not with me though, obviously Jimmy: if that was your subtle way of binning me off Jimmy: try again Janis: I meant the opposite Janis: can have my full attention if you're distracting enough Jimmy: when aren't I? Jimmy: not even a challenge Janis: was only a maybe earlier Jimmy: come on Jimmy: you know how much I want you Janis: Good Janis: 'cos before this drama I was so bored without you Janis: and now I just need to Janis: not think, for a bit Jimmy: easy Jimmy: I'll make you not think for as long as you need Janis: I love you, yeah Jimmy: you'll love me more in a bit Jimmy: I promise Janis: I know Janis: can't lie and say you've ever let me down there Jimmy: ain't about to start now Jimmy: you might think about me though Jimmy: that alright? Janis: I always think about you so Janis: just gimme something really good to remember later Jimmy: you're still be feeling it later Jimmy: least I can do Janis: I need that so bad right now Janis: always Janis: I wanna feel you all the time Jimmy: me too Jimmy: not just saying it 'cause you need it Janis: good Janis: don't Janis: you have to want it just as bad always or there's no point Jimmy: like I said, you know how much Jimmy: I really want you Janis: yeah but Janis: I like reminding Jimmy: you can have 'em all Jimmy: physically Janis: just no tattoos yeah Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: 😏 so gutted I know Janis: just aren't that #goals Jimmy: 🎻🎻 gonna make me 😢 babe Janis: you wish Janis: if you like pain that much I can think of plenty other ways to get you there Jimmy: go on Jimmy: I'll be there soon Janis: 😂 Janis: maybe I'll tell you when you are then Janis: if you're nice Jimmy: the deal is, you're nice to me & I'm nice to you Jimmy: that's it Jimmy: remember Jimmy: so it's up to you, girl Janis: I'm always nice Janis: what are you talking about Jimmy: best behavior 😇 you Jimmy: for now Janis: what about later Jimmy: 😈 please Janis: easy Janis: gimme a challenge Jimmy: patience Jimmy: there it is Janis: wow Janis: call me out Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I like it Jimmy: you Janis: I like you too Janis: too much to worry about being hard to get or some stupid shit Jimmy: nowt turns me on more than how much you want me Jimmy: that's too much Janis: handy Janis: 'cos I ain't tryna hide it Janis: I wanna turn you on Jimmy: just not right now yeah Jimmy: I'm surrounded by people Janis: 😇 still Jimmy: 👌 Janis: even if it is hard work Jimmy: I get it Janis: nah Janis: always 😈 you Janis: leading me astray Jimmy: you're the #confirmed bad influence, babe Janis: only if you wanna side with Ian Janis: dog 💕 me Janis: she can be trusted Jimmy: you're definitely a bad influence on her Janis: 💔 Janis: how could you Jimmy: how could you Jimmy: one job Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: fine Janis: imma ignore you and focus solely on my dog training career Janis: bye Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: you asked for this, boy Janis: questioning my dedication Jimmy: what if I asked for the opposite Jimmy: what are you gonna do? Janis: you didn't though so Janis: speak up Jimmy: alright Jimmy: I'm saying it Jimmy: gimme all your attention like you said Janis: okay Janis: could've thrown in a please but Janis: easily persuaded Jimmy: baby please Janis: 🤤 Janis: now you're just spoiling me Jimmy: I want to Jimmy: I miss you Jimmy: it's taking ages to get there Janis: don't it always Janis: amazed any potential suitors make it to the door Jimmy: that don't make me used to it Janis: I know you remember how best to pass the time Jimmy: tell me Jimmy: I wanna spoil you, I told you Janis: make a video for me yeah Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: alright Janis: I can watch it later Jimmy: you better if I'm putting all this 🥇 effort in Janis: promise Janis: I wanna watch it whilst you fuck me Jimmy: You're 💀 me Jimmy: you're so Janis: too much? Jimmy: perfect Janis: you Jimmy: you Janis: I can't even think about how good you must look right now Janis: but it's all I can think about Jimmy: [sends her some selfies cos nice like that] Janis: be here now Janis: like right now Jimmy: send me a 🐎 or car, rich girl Jimmy: even one of them cows would do Janis: they are fans after last time so Janis: probably make that happen Jimmy: they would be if they could see me now Janis: 😍 Janis: I can always take you to see 'em later Janis: feeling like putting on a show for more than me and the bus Janis: don't let the #fame go to your head, babe Jimmy: who could refuse an offer like that, babe Jimmy: especially 'cause you know I ain't letting anyone on this bus know owt Jimmy: it's all for you Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: just Janis: say that again Jimmy: what Jimmy: that it's for you? Jimmy: you know it is Janis: you know I like hearing it though Jimmy: you can hear everything when I get there Jimmy: I know you like that too Janis: you just know everything I like Jimmy: so far Jimmy: forever's loads of time Janis: you reckon I'll get bored? Jimmy: might do Jimmy: only so many times we can call Pete to spice things up for us Janis: 😏 Janis: know you two think you're special but Janis: whole world of barista boys out there Jimmy: good job 'cause Barry'll be 💀 can't rely on him either Janis: 😂 Janis: why it's so sensible going for an older man Janis: more sensible going with 👻 boy though Jimmy: I ain't giving you 🏆 for falling for me Jimmy: just good sense that Janis: hmm Janis: 👌 Janis: feels it Jimmy: bring more enthusiasm when you show me in Janis: make me Janis: you here though Jimmy: I will Janis: promises promises Jimmy: just telling you what's about to happen Jimmy: preparation if owt Jimmy: want you to be ready for me Janis: stop being hot when I'm trying to come get you Jimmy: this is nowt Jimmy: & why you gotta be ready Janis: I ain't ready Janis: wasn't Janis: for how much I want you Janis: all the time Jimmy: now who's being hot Janis: I mean it though Janis: I didn't know I could need anyone this bad Jimmy: me either Jimmy: you know I mean that too yeah Janis: yeah Janis: it is a bit different though Janis: you're special, I mean that too Janis: even if I thought someone was fit or whatever I'd go there and it'd just be Jimmy: you didn't feel nowt at all? Janis: like Janis: obviously physically, it's happening, even if it's not incredible it's still you know Janis: but I couldn't get out of my head Janis: idk Jimmy: why me then Janis: don't say it like that Janis: not like I planned it Janis: I thought it'd be same as usually, too Jimmy: I don't mean it like Jimmy: it's just Jimmy: you're so Jimmy: with me Janis: I dunno Janis: maybe 'cos we both knew it was fake from the off Janis: 'cos everyone else is pretending too Janis: but you have to pretend you ain't and work out if the other person still is so if it turns real for you, you know to hide it if it ain't for them Janis: it's a minefield init Janis: it took that away Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: before I came here I felt like the only one of my mates being real about owt Jimmy: & Ian ain't been since who knows when Janis: yeah, exactly Janis: everyone bullshits about everything Janis: all the time Janis: why was I gonna opt-in for some more when I could do it better alone Jimmy: I'm so happy I met you Jimmy: that literally sounds fake but Janis: gonna say, don't start now Janis: sounds dead lick arse but Janis: you're just, real, as well Janis: I knew that at least before I knew you Jimmy: there's none of that bollocks with you Jimmy: it's why I could ask you do this Jimmy: not why I wanted to though Janis: why didn't you like Janis: freak out more Janis: when you knew I wanted it for real Jimmy: I'd done all that when I reckoned you didn't Janis: yeah? Jimmy: talked myself out of loads of shit then & before Jimmy: you reckon that was the first thing your sister had left at the CG? Jimmy: it was just the first time I went for chatting with you Jimmy: *some of her shit Janis: oh Gracie, how shaming Janis: still Janis: cheers for that, babe Jimmy: not forgiven for near throwing up on me but Jimmy: she did alright there Janis: you're such a baby 😂 Janis: but I like you anyways Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you love me & I'm 😎💪 Janis: yeah, I do Jimmy: come here & show me Janis: how could I refuse an offer like that, babe Jimmy: you can't Janis: I don't wanna Janis: I wanna show you everything Jimmy: I need to see it Jimmy: & feel it Jimmy: every sense actually Janis: fuck Janis: yeah everything being you sounds pretty fucking good right now Jimmy: it'll be better than good Janis: I know Janis: what I don't know is how we're getting back to my room when I'm already so Jimmy: they're all inside Jimmy: let's be outside Jimmy: for a bit Janis: not just a pretty face Janis: but Janis: [comes into view and runs at 'cos no chill with this hello] Jimmy: [let's give them a sec to be extra af] Janis: [going hard with showing 'cos what a frustrating day in general and then you've got yourself all worked up oh lads] Jimmy: [likewise cos he's got one job which is to distract her & he REALLY wants to do it at this point] Janis: ['I've been thinking about you, about this, all day'] Jimmy: [when you're trying to be like yeah me too but it's basically just a moan though cos] Janis: [just nods 'cos same babe and gets them somewhere vaguely out of view/earshot of the house if you please] Jimmy: [very appreciated, takes this moment to send her the video as promised before he gets too distracted to remember] Janis: [sits in his lap 'cos always but facing him and not away] Janis: ['I want you to watch me watch you'] Jimmy: [his turn to just nod but the LOOK he'd give her though bye] Janis: ['feel me, Jimmy'] Janis: you said I had to be ready so see how well I did for you Jimmy: [says fuck softly & with feeling cos damn okay] Janis: how do you look that good Janis: better than I even imagined, God Jimmy: it's how you make me feel Jimmy: I was thinking about you & I just Janis: [in his neck, kissing and sucking and biting etc 'cos making her need a moment] Janis: what exactly where you thinking about me Jimmy: you were with me Jimmy: I always want you to be Janis: that's why you're eyes are closed Janis: you're pretending it's me Jimmy: yeah Janis: shit Janis: that's so Jimmy: you're so Jimmy: it made me just Janis: just like Janis: this Janis: [copying the video] Jimmy: [making all the noises he couldn't make then cos he had to be more stealth] Janis: you can have your eyes open this time too Janis: I'm here, baby Jimmy: [the eye contact though bitch] Janis: You feel even better than you look Janis: it's making me feel even more Jimmy: it's Janis: ['all for you'] Jimmy: [has to kiss her very intensely cos dying] Janis: the way you bite your lip Janis: [does it but on his not her own] Jimmy: [thank god she got them out of earshot cos so about that] Janis: [😏] Janis: your lips are very biteable, I agree Janis: [rubbing them softly with her thumb for that moment] Jimmy: you're nowt like you were in my head Jimmy: you never are Jimmy: you're so fucking Jimmy: I can't capture it Janis: but you've got me Janis: so you can keep on trying Janis: and I can keep being better and better Jimmy: challenge accepted, yeah Jimmy: but there's no better for you Jimmy: you're already the best, I mean that Janis: [pushes her thumb into his mouth a little with a smile, running it over his teeth and pushing it a bit further every time and just being hot af in general] Janis: the best for you Janis: you need me, don't you Jimmy: [sucking and biting on her thumb as and when & generally also being hot af about it while also saying how much he needs her] Janis: [moaning 'cos 'you look so fucking pretty when you do that' and sucking on his fingers to taste herself] Jimmy: [being loud af as usual and saying her name a lot] Janis: I wanted to make you cum with the video but Janis: it's really fucking hard to be this close and not just Janis: have you inside me Jimmy: we can do whatever you want Jimmy: I'm supposed to be spoiling you Janis: you are Janis: just fuck me, like you wanted to when you were touching yourself Janis: do it exactly how you were thinking Jimmy: like I've wanted to all day Jimmy: been thinking about all day Janis: how do you even get any work done Janis: when all you really wanna do is Jimmy: there's no second goes by when I don't wanna fuck you Jimmy: unless I am Janis: me either Janis: everything else seems like an even bigger waste of time now Janis: school, other people Janis: I just want this Jimmy: it's just white noise Jimmy: you're the only thing with sound & colour Janis: [the NOISE bitch] Janis: baby Jimmy: I really fucking love you Janis: I know Janis: and I feel it too Janis: You're all that matter to me Jimmy: like I said, I don't see anything or feel it Jimmy: nowt registers Jimmy: there's just you Janis: ['I- I better make sure it feels as perfect as it possibly can then'] Jimmy: ['you are baby' in such a voice with such a look] Janis: oh God Janis: you make me feel Janis: so fucking Jimmy: I'm not gonna stop until you cum all over me Jimmy: it's all I could think about before Janis: it is not going to take long, keep fucking me like that Janis: let me give you everything you want Jimmy: take everything you want too Janis: I am Janis: I don't even know how I can you're so Jimmy: you're unbelievable Jimmy: that's how Janis: ['you' but you can imagine how it's coming out rn] Jimmy: [says it back & likewise oh you two] Janis: so I'm gonna cum all over your cock but where are you cumming for me, baby Jimmy: where do you want me Jimmy: you said you've been thinking about this all day too Janis: well Janis: when I thought about it Janis: you bend me over and finish on my ass Jimmy: [just a noise of absolute agreement coming from him rn] Janis: ['you want that too, yeah?'] Jimmy: [says yeah & we know how it sounds & that he's gonna keep saying it a few more times with some swearing thrown in for emphasis of course] Janis: [goes harder as a result 'cos feeling how hard he's feeling it too] Janis: fuck baby Janis: you really want it Janis: make me cum for you Janis: you've got me so close, Jimmy Jimmy: [goes harder himself as a result of her being the hottest ever & OMG the intense eye contact goodbye] Janis: [all the I love yous rn] Jimmy: [& all the kisses cos overwhelmed] Janis: [imma let you finish lads] Janis: that was Janis: so good Janis: you're so good Jimmy: you are Janis: I missed you Janis: [cuddles] Jimmy: I missed you so much Janis: you should stay forever Janis: like this# Jimmy: that's the deal, baby Janis: good Janis: probably laws about keeping sex slaves Jimmy: [little lol] Janis: [feeling them dimples] Janis: you're so cute Janis: but hot too Janis: not fair Jimmy: that's why I'm #goals Jimmy: but it's only fair Jimmy: you're cuter & hotter Janis: [makes psh noise] Jimmy: take the compliment Janis: I'm not not Janis: I'm just disagreeing that you're not cuter and hotter Janis: that's all Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: you're so beautiful, alright Jimmy: there's no comparison Jimmy: & so sexy it's like Jimmy: indescribable Janis: you make me feel it Jimmy: you were before me Jimmy: school's shit but not that shit that I'll just draw anything Jimmy: anyone Janis: [😳] Jimmy: [all the kisses] Janis: you thought I was hot Jimmy: I ain't legally blind or owt Jimmy: you are Jimmy: but yeah I thought about you Janis: I thought about you too Janis: could pretend it was new boy shine though Jimmy: likewise Jimmy: all you paddy's are new to me Janis: exactly Janis: good cover, give us that Jimmy: 🥇 always us Janis: I'm just glad you asked me Janis: not some other random Jimmy: I weren't gonna ask anyone else Jimmy: I didn't need to ask you Jimmy: I just Janis: wanted to fuck me Janis: understandable 😏 Jimmy: I didn't know that was gonna happen, bighead Jimmy: but I'd get to kiss you at least Janis: what happened to taking the compliment? Janis: so fickle, you Janis: [but kiss, duh] Jimmy: that only works when I'm saying you're fuckable Janis: you saying I ain't now Janis: mean Jimmy: I'm saying I didn't know if you were gonna be when we signed up to fake date Jimmy: could've been a constant nightmare you Jimmy: instead of only sometimes Jimmy: [but kisses] Janis: please Janis: you knew I was 😎 Jimmy: alright yeah Janis: 😂 only Janis: *joking Janis: your crush wasn't that blatant actually Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: It weren't no crush Jimmy: I just didn't reckon you were an utter dickhead Jimmy: I've been wrong before though, it's alright Jimmy: I ain't 💔 Janis: [smacks him like oi but also loling] Jimmy: [makes a big song and dance like ow but also loling & then more kisses cos he loves it when she lols or smiles] Janis: whatever anyway Janis: you looooooove me Jimmy: I really love you Janis: how much Janis: right now Jimmy: [kisses her like this much] Janis: not bad Janis: gonna best myself, obviously Janis: [goes in harder] Jimmy: [a noise into her mouth] Janis: [smirky af] Janis: you wanna stay out here for a while longer Jimmy: do you? Janis: [nods and is hiding in his neck] Janis: I can't deal with them and this any more than I already have Jimmy: you wanna go? Janis: maybe we can go out Janis: or just Janis: not be here Janis: we can walk though, I don't have a plan Jimmy: shower with me first Jimmy: I've made a right mess of you Jimmy: & I'll sneak you in Janis: oh yeah Janis: [imagine lmao] Janis: that would be good right about now Jimmy: come on then Janis: come this way, can use the one in here and not be disturbed Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [handholding & off they go]