#and idk about u but mai doesn't strike me as all that reliable a narrator

[the-badger-mole]

There's No Excuse for Mai

Are we really out here demonizing Michi for trying to encourage her daughter to make the best of a bad situation? Was Mai the first kid who had to move for a parent's promotion? Is that really all it takes for a tragic backstory to take form?

Let me begin by saying that Mai's parents are villains without a doubt, but that part is irrelevant here, because that doesn't make them bad parents. Or at least not abusive parents. Mai's introduction doesn't support her assertions later (much later) that she was stifled or oppressed by her parents. That's the only time we see or hear from Mai's parents until The Beach, and in that appearance, they seem like average parents (who just so happen to be the oppressive hand of an invading force). Mai didn't want to leave because her parents were trying to make her a Proper Lady. She left because she was bored. And okay, yeah. I get that. It seems like a boring place to be as the only kid her age who was part of the oppressor class. That must have sucked for her. There's also not a whole lot her parents could have done except try to encourage her to make the best of it until Azula came and offered an alternative.

Despite what Mai said in her Breakfast Club moment in "The Beach", which came a whole season later, Michi and Ukano don't come off as cruel parents in their introduction. They seem like average parents who had to move to a new place with a moody teenager who complains a lot. A. LOT. And we're just supposed to take Mai's word for it that despite all the evidence to the contrary that she was stifled. Her skills with her knives, her attitude, her style- none of that was against anything that was shown to be the standard in the Fire Nation, not for a young noble woman, anyway- require time and more importantly, money. The chances are good that they not only did her parents know about her interests, the actively encouraged them. So where did Mai's parents interfere or try to subdue her? That one line where after listening to Mai complain about being bored for probably the umpteenth time, Michi tried to get her to focus on the positives of her situation?

What Michi and Ukano did wasn't any different than anything thousands of parents would have said or done in that situation. That doesn't make them bad parents. That doesn't mean they are generally unempathetic to Mai. They are clearly capable of affection towards their children, and there's no evidence that they are cold towards each other. Yet, that one moment, where Michi is trying to buck up her daughter and get her to see the bright side of her father's promotion is now being used to justify Mai's overall apathy towards anyone or anything that doesn't amuse her. Michi was trying to remain upbeat in the face of complaints she'd probably heard time and time before. Mai was bored. There was nothing Michi could do to change that, so she tried one of the only tactics available to parents in that situation. Is it the best tactic? I don't know. I've never been a parent in a situation like that, but what else could they have done aside from disavowing colonialism and retiring back to the Fire Nation? That is not the equivalent to what Mai did to Zuko.

Zuko wasn't complaining about being bored. He tried to open up to Mai about what he was feeling. He was seeking reassurance after years of abuse and then banishment at his father's hand. He was seeking reassurance from the girl who allegedly loved him. And Mai's response was not only dismissive, it was cold. It wasn't just cold, it showed a lack of interest in the guy she claimed to be interested in. Why wouldn't Mai be interested in hearing what he was feeling (I mean besides the aforementioned apathy towards anything that didn't amuse her?). Even Michi's "make the best of it" attitude would have been a kinder response than Mai's. And Mai never learns empathy. Not even in the comics apparently.