#and if something Bad is happening i dont “choose” to dissociate either. decades of reinforcement have made dissociation the stress response
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#“oh yeah i just kinda choose to dissociate etc” posts are missing the point bc its less you CHOOSE to dissociate#and more like if you dont put active effort into grounding then the world becomes less real#like i dissociate so much in my daily life that the second i start feeling foggy i just automatically start grounding behaviours#rubbing my eyes. running my fingers through hair#rocking#swaying#anything to make a sensation happen to feel real and i dont even consciously think about it it just happens#its less that you choose to dissociate and more like you have to stop doing unconcious grounding behaviour#or it just straight up doesnt work and instead of stepping it up in intensity (ice. pinching. etc) you just leave it and kinda sit there#and if youve got shit like brain people disorder or dpdr you just like straight up dont get a choice of when you dissociate#like: oops i looked at my hands and now the world isnt real anymore and my body is wrong!#you dont really choose to dissociate. you can sometimes let yourself unteather. but choose implies that theres agency#or that you were perfectly grounded and are now reaching for this blurry state#i dont reach for blurry. i reach for clarity. blurry is my natural state of being. i wouldnt choose it. i choose to be present and clear#and if something Bad is happening i dont “choose” to dissociate either. decades of reinforcement have made dissociation the stress response#i didnt choose it. its literally the only thing that makes situations survivable#you dont choose to have a fight/flight reaction. it just happens
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