#and if they help you in any way thats even groovier

[enjoyedthatchair]

FYI the reason people assumed Chongo was not close to trans women/did not assume best faith is that he degendered a trans woman, his recollection of her post was notably more malicious than the original content, and because of how much of the notes consisted of people who were actively comparing egg jokes to misgendering. As well as the general way in which egg joke discourse tends to be heavily inflected by transmisogyny to begin with.

(about this) while i get this, i still think that the fact this was the default reaction is pretty telling on how discourse can completely warp an otherwise innocuous post about a small frustration Some Guy had about a post he misremembered made by someone whose gender he did not know into "hes purposefully misgendering and misrepresenting a trans woman".

its also worth noting that the reason his recollection of her post was notably more malicious is due to her replies on said original post, which... cmon, those were pretty bad. if this was just joking amongst friends i would have no problem with OP and would even think that chongo shoulda been more lenient, but the fact that its not and shes worried her friend might find it is just extremely uncomfortable. maybe im biased as a non-binary person who doesnt use exclusively they/them pronouns on the gringo side of the worldwide web, but comments like these made behind the targets back just leave a bad taste in my mouth. speaking of not respecting non-binary people who use anything other than exclusively they/them pronouns, didja see she tweeted this?

im starting to think this woman doesnt respect peoples identity. this isnt a gotcha btw, i think your message is earnestly trying to be insightful and as i said in the beginning: i totally get how chongos original post could be misconstrued, specially if you engage with this discourse a lot. chongo does too. but i seriously believe there was nothing wrong with chongos original post, just as there was nothing wrong with epistemophagys original post. chongos post didnt link to epistemophagy in any way, it wouldve never reached her if people didnt extract the worst possible message from it, and therefore couldve never caused her any harm. you could make the argument that his post could lead to transmisoginy, as it adds to egg joke discourse, but frankly i dont see it. "can we not?" isnt exactly a compelling rhethorical argument and chongo had no reason to believe his post would reach anyone beyond his (very pro-trans) audience. if someones being transmisoginistic in the reblogs of that post its not on chongo and most of the reblogs i saw just said something to the effect of "yeah those jokes make me kinda uncomfortable too". thank you for explaining where people on the other side of things are coming from, i hope you can understand where im coming from. stay cool, anon!