#and im getting my 2nd shot Wednesday which may throw a wrench im plans...
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#ugh adulthood is being simultaneously exhausted and unable to sleep#y cant i sleep? bc the amount of stress i experience the night before i go to the store is stupid#literally i go to sleep reciting the things i need to buy. planning out what i will eat when and stressing abt#driving literally 4min down the road#at 6am bc i cant stand to exist around other people#its absolutely ridiculous#existing in such a state is exhausting#also i just realized the extent of work im gonna have to do to run an experiment this weekend#and im getting my 2nd shot Wednesday which may throw a wrench im plans...#well... i guess this is what i get for wishing for a busier week#which is to say that bc my week wasnt so busy. my brain is punishing me by constraining the things i can do#yay obsessive Compulsive tendencies#for real tho. its super weird how my brain will be like: control control control#and my logical brain will be like: we feel out of control. this is bad. somethings wrong#and my irrational brain will be like: shut up we are doing this. u dont have anything better to do. might as well b productive#again its exhausting#what is it like to have a brain that doesnt try to smother u to death?#i may never kno#unrelated#i can always tell its bad when i go for a run and it feels like my thoughts are like bees buzzing around my head
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