#and in spaces where it's expected that you prove yourself battle royal style i always notice that... nothing really gets accomplished...

[uncanny-tranny]

Comparing oppression can sometimes give you insight as to what other groups of people go through. It teaches you what you have in common with people seemingly different than you are, and teaches you how you are different and how you can ally yourself better with other peoples.

However, if your goal is to prove you suffer the most between you and another person, you'll likely find that there is no conversation, just an endless barrage of back-and-forth to prove which of you deserves to be listened to.

The reality is that you don't have to be in the most pain in order to be listened to. So often, we are inundated with this idea that the person suffering the most is the only one who ought to be listened to, and it sends the message of "holy shit, I guess I don't matter. I guess I deserve to suffer if others are going through worse," and that's just unreasonable and unfair. Who has it worse is entirely contextual and changing, and sometimes it is subjective - as in, something that is earth-breaking for you is an average tuesday evening for the guy next to you.

Kill the cop in your head that says your voice will only matter if you prove yourself. Listen to other marginalized people and know it isn't a competition to see who can prove themselves most worthy of tine and energy. Our resources can (and should) be multifaceted and able to help a variety of peoples.

[loopy-atla-fanfic]

Samsara - Chapter 3

Rating: T

Characters: Mai, Zuko, Ty Lee, Azula

Story Warnings: Ableism, Suicidal Thoughts

Written for Maiko Week 2017

EPOCH 3

Eventually, even complete despair becomes boring, and if there's anything Mai absolutely could not tolerate, it was boredom.

("Come on, Mai. It's time to embrace the day! Hey, that rhymed.")

But what was the alternative? The only experts within reach had no ideas for ending the curse. Convincing Zuko not to elope with the Avatar was just an exercise in frustration. And trying to get Azula to handle the problem for her-

That had proved disappointing.

(At the far end of the mattress, Ty Lee began her bouncing.)

Mai felt an absurd desire to talk to her parents about it all. Not that she expected them to have anything helpful to offer, not even a minimum of, "There, there," comfort, but she was running out of authority figures to foist the problem on and she had no desire to sit down with the Fire Lord and explain the situation.

(The ceiling went 'thunk' and Ty Lee said, "Owie!")

The sound of Ty Lee's skull impacting against a decidedly less-dense solid finally prompted Mai to throw off the bed covers and sit up. "That wasn't even funny the first time."

"What first time?" Ty Lee was still massaging her head.

"Never mind." Mai rubbed her eyes. "Hey, can I ask you a question?"

"Yes, the bathroom's open. I got up early so that I could finish in there before you needed it. I'm just such a nice person that way."

"No, something else. I suppose it's a matter of philosophy."

Ty Lee grinned, and hopped up onto the bed so that she was kneeling right in front of Mai. "I have been waiting my whole life for you to say those words to me."

"Swell." Mai took a moment to gather her thoughts and plot out an escape route in case this turned violent. "If you knew for a fact that none of your actions could ever have an effect on the world- if everything stayed the same no matter how drastically you tried to change things- what is there left for you to do? Besides be bored."

Ty Lee looked up at the ceiling as she thought about it. "When you say 'the world,' do you mean your external environment? Everything separate from the Self?"

Mai blinked. "Sure, let's go with that for now."

"Oh, well then that's easy!" Ty Lee looked back at Mai with a look in her eyes that made so many people over the years assume a chemical addiction of some kind was in play. "If you can't change anything besides the Self, then the Self has to become your whole universe."

"Um?"

"Forget about what can't be changed and focus on how you respond to it. Change yourself according to the world you want to live in. It's all just a matter of perspective, really. You define your world, so define it so it serves and fulfills you. It's like how I hated being part of a matched set with my family, and since I couldn't change having six identical sisters, I focused on my own uniqueness and embraced it."

"Huh." Stripped away of the more philosophical jargon, that was actually fairly coherent for a statement from Ty Lee. Moreover, it even made sense. Put simply If Mai couldn't get Tomorrow to come or get Zuko to really love her instead of running off to an Avatar, then she had no choice but to focus on herself. "Okay."

She could make herself a world with no Avatar in it.

"See, that wasn't so hard. What made you think of it? The last time I tried to talk about the nature of the universe with you before breakfast, you threw a hairbrush at me and wound up putting your clothes and knives on backwards."

Mai snorted as she climbed out of bed. "Let's take the easy route and say weird dreams."

"And what's the hard route?"

"Believing that I've stumbled across a unique problem in my perception of time."

"Ugh, time stuff. That always gives me a headache."

"Exactly."

Mai went ahead and dressed as usual, but elected to start exercising her ability to control her universe by forgoing any hair-styling. She let her tresses hang long and free down her back, a style that would be trouble in combat, but she wouldn't have to worry about it. After all, she knew exactly where each and every fight was going to happen today, and she could skip as many of them as she wanted. It was like school, only with dangerous combat instead of boring classes.

(Well, more dangerous combat.)

Mai made sure to give the appropriate responses to get Azula's quicker briefing, and the princess didn't comment on the new hairdo. Mai did have trouble not letting her eyes wander to Azula's smooth white throat, to the spot that had once hosted a razor disc, but thankfully neither of the other girls noticed.

After the briefing, she and Ty Lee hit the palace's breakfast buffet, and this time she really indulged, trying everything that looked interesting. After all, it wasn't like she'd have to worry about fighting on a full stomach.

(Sadly, Mai couldn't properly revel in casting aside worries about eating what she wanted without getting fat; her metabolism had always made her have to work to keep from looking sickly. She didn't personally have a problem with looking like she had one foot in the urn, but constantly getting asked what she was dying of got boring after the first few sarcastic responses. Maybe tomorrow she'd enjoy just having a cup of water without agonizing about losing what little fat she had managed to cultivate.)

On the way to the temple, Mai enjoyed the feel of the breeze in her unbound hair. She shook her head and whipped it around a bit as Ty Lee babbled something about the health effects of eating eggs.

When they arrived at the site of Operation Springback, Corporal Lee was of course there to meet them. "My Ladies, Colonel Lee reporting! I've successfully evacuated the Fire Sages, and my soldiers are stationed throughout the first floor of the main temple building. I have an elite force ready to spill out into the courtyard at a moment's notice, and my subordinates have been given a plan to rapidly deploy continuing waves as required. Naturally, we've saved some space for you two right with that first wave."

"Wonderful, darling," Mai said, giving her hair another shake and successfully suppressing laughter. "I’m oh so excited for the chance to fight some barbarians today. I've never been in a battle before, but everything I've read makes them sound thrilling! I'm eternally grateful that the princess gave me the chance to try that whole 'stabbing' thing. I bet it's fun. Is it fun, Corporal?"

Ty Lee was staring at her.

Corporal Lee's jaw worked like he was trying to do math in his head and kept coming up with Purple. "Um, some people- um, some find it fun? My lady?"

"Wonderful! We'll go inside and pick out our spots. Let us know when the Avatar comes knocking." Mai grabbed Ty Lee's arm and hurried her friend away while trying to keep from giggling. Making fun of people was better when the people in question didn't realize they were involved in the making of any fun.

Once they were inside the temple, Ty Lee said, "Are you feeling okay? Your sense of humor is usually more about laughing at gravestones."

Mai shook her hair again. "I'm trying something new. And anyway, we're not going to be attacked. This whole Springback thing is a waste of time."

As she and Ty Lee passed by the gatherings of soldiers discussing the quality of the breakfast rations, Mai wondered how she should spend her day. She had to focus on herself, as Ty Lee had advised. The only problem was that Mai had never really focused on herself beyond constructing her whole life and personality as an insult to the people around her. She supposed that she could teach herself to dance here in the temple, which was both lewd and a blasphemy, but offending a bunch of random soldiers didn't really appeal to her, and besides, Ty Lee might actually join in.

Then Mai realized she was surrounded by soldiers, and most of them weren't Firebenders. Spears were leaning against the temple walls in bundles, and quite a few scabbards were hanging from belts.

Hm.

If you can't define the world, define yourself in response to the world.

As for the response she wanted to make-

She walked up to one particular soldier, a thin guy who didn't seem to be any older than her. He was standing on the periphery of a large group, so subtly excluded that he probably didn't even realize it.

Mai tapped his shoulder and gave him her best Azula Stare. "Teach me how to fight with a spear."

He blinked at her. "M- my lady?"

"Exactly. I'm just an heiress in the middle of a war with no way to protect herself. Teach me how to use a spear in case barbarians try to drag me away to force me to dance with them." She shook her hair again, in case that helped.

The young soldier swallowed. "O- okay. Well, I- I guess we should start with how to hold a spear..."

He blinked at her. "My lady?"

"Exactly. I've already been taught the basics by the Royal Fire Academy for Girls. Just show me a few more tricks so I can properly defend myself when the barbarians try to drag me away to force me to eat their vegetarian food." She shook her hair again, in case that helped.

The young soldier swallowed. "O- okay. Well, I- I guess I could show you how to use the whole shaft of the spear to keep enemies from closing in on you..."

He blinked at her. "My lady?"

"Exactly." Mai took the spear from his grip, twirled it fast enough to blur the shaft into a brown smear in the air, brought it to a halt with a diagonal slice of the metal tip, shifted her grip, and then stabbed out into the empty air. "I've already had an advanced education in combat. I'm just looking for some pointers from a soldier who's seen some real combat against barbarians." She shook her hair again, because it probably looked kick-butt.

The young soldier grinned. "Wow. Okay! Well, my favorite trick is..."

Mai saw Ty Lee walk over, and spared a nod for her friend. That was all she could do for the moment, what with twirling two spears at once. Mai tightened her fists around each spear, bringing their spinning to a stop for the next phase of her demonstration. Fighting with two spears at once was tricky, as their length made it easy to knock them into each other, so she had to move them in a pattern that would keep the shafts out of each other's way, stabbing with one while swinging the other, using quick twirls as necessary to change directions, using blade and shaft and butt to hammer at a legion of imaginary enemies.

When they were all imaginary-dead (or at least imaginary-lying on the imaginary-ground and imaginary-moaning and imaginary-bleeding and imaginary-cursing their imaginary-fate), Mai brought her spears to a halt, propped them up on the floor, and bowed to her audience.

The soldiers all started applauding. Her young teacher (how had she gone this many iterations without learning his name?) accepted congratulations from his comrades for his instructional skills while Mai handed the spears back to their owners and went over to Ty Lee. "What's up?"

Ty Lee frowned. "Sorry, did I interrupt you?"

"Nah. Spears are getting boring. I'm done with that now."

"Um, since when did you learn how to do that? Private Li Quang did not just teach it to you today."

How did Ty Lee know- never mind. Mai would probably be better off without that knowledge. "Oh, you know me; I get bored easily and need something to occupy my hands."

"Right." Ty Lee gave a look that five parts skepticism and one part insane belief in auras. "You've been looking very red today."

"Thank you?"

"It's not- not important. Anyway, Private Fan said the invaders got past the harbor gate. We should probably get ready."

"Yeah, sure." That was the one problem with these lessons- the soldiers still thought they had to do their job and get into position for an Operation Springback that would never happen. It was a good waste of twenty minutes. Not that Mai was on a time budget, but waiting for rebels who wouldn't come was boring.

Unless-

As Mai kneeled down beside her friend just inside the temple's foyer, she whispered, "Hey, when this is over, I've always admired how your acrobatics let you dodge pretty much any kind of attack..."

"Hey, as long as we have time, I've always admired how your acrobatics give you so much flexibility..."

"Hey, while we wait, I've always admired how you can touch the back of your knees with your tongue..."

"Hey, while we wait, I've always admired how your Qi-blocking messes with Benders. The fear in their eyes is sweet. Do you think you could show me how you do it?"

Ty Lee frowned. "Nope."

Mai blinked. "No?"

"Well, probably not."

"If it's about speed and flexibility, I've actually been teaching myself acrobatics when I haven't been spending time with Zuko-"

"No, it's not that." Ty Lee gave Mai a look that started at her toes and ascended like the sun. "You're looking very red today."

Mai snorted. "Yeah, you said that already."

"I did?"

"Never mind."

"Well, what I'm getting at is that Qi-blocking isn't about memorizing pressure points. I mean, yes, it is, but it's also not. It is and isn't at the same time."

Mai sighed. "Is this about time?"

"Ew, no, time stuff gives me a headache. Qi-blocking needs a certain something. A- way to look at who you're fighting and really see them." Ty Lee brightened. "See what they're feeling. And how their energy is flowing! A hit to a pressure point can hurt, and even make an arm or leg or whatever too numb to move. But if the muscles are in the right state of motion and tightness and vibrancy, then when you hit the pressure point, you get something special. Bending won't work. Fear leaks into their aura. Have you seen how the Avatar's Waterbender looks at me? She's terrified of me! That's because of how I hit her. She felt what I did. Her brother is harder to hit, so I never tagged him as good."

Mai was almost sorry when Ty Lee stopped talking. She had really been getting into that explanation. "I never realized. I thought you just- you know, hit people. I thought-" She couldn't meet those big gray eyes. "I thought what I did was harder, because I do it from a distance and need to know how each of my blades flies through the air. But you know how to punch fear into people. That's- that's amazing."

Ty Lee reached out and raised Mai's chin, so that their eyes were meeting again. "It's not punching fear into people. It's slowly building cracks into their emotions by attacking where their bodies generate those emotions. But I'm glad you appreciate it."

"So, if I wanted to Qi-block like you, I'd have to think I see auras?"

Ty Lee giggled. "Well, it's not necessary, but it would help."

"Except," Mai said with a smirk, "auras aren't real."

Ty Lee's expression needed no words.

Mai indulged in a single dry laugh. "So, even if I can't fight like you, you can at least teach me where pressure points are, right?"

"Sure, if you want."

Learning hand-to-hand combat was harder than Mai expected. She had lost track of the days she had spent getting lessons from Ty Lee, discussing pressure points and the various kinds of fists. (Mai had always assumed that a fist was a fist, perhaps defined by the number of working fingers and knuckles the thrower had available, but no, there were as many ways to smack someone as there were to stab them.) Her existing fighting instincts seemed to work against what was needed to get a good solid hit in, and forming another set of instincts she could jump to when necessary was taking a lot of practice.

She decided to take a day off and indulge in an idea that had occurred to her a while ago. It involved escaping the temple without being seen, but she didn't even have to think to do that anymore.

It did take some work to set up what she had planned, as all worthwhile things did. First, she had to find a tea cart large enough for her to lounge on top. She broke into a dozen different mansions before investigating General Iroh’s sealed suite in the palace and finding three of them. Then she needed to find a square of wood light enough for her to lift over her head, and wound up prying someone's portrait of an honorable ancestor off the wall and using the back of the frame. Then she needed to paint her message on the sign, and get everything down to her house before the invaders stormed the capital.

On the way, one of the army runners passed by on some errand. The woman was making an odd sound as she ran, and Mai looked to see what was causing the metallic-

Oh.

It was Private Fan, the lady with the metal leg.

Fan slowed and stared at Mai as she pushed her tea cart down the street. "Um, do you need assistance, citizen? This area is supposed to be evacuated. Enemy military forces are on their way."

"No, I'm okay." The cart's wheels squeaked as Mai shifted its direction. "I'm on a special assignment for Princess Azula." Technically, that was true, even if the special assignment in question had more to do with the temple than teacarts.

"Oh. Well, uh, carry on, then!" Fan started jogging again, her metal leg clanking against the stone street.

Mai recalled, back in the iteration of her greatest failure, observing a runner getting hit by a boulder. There had been too much distance, looking down from the window in Zuko's bedroom, to tell who that runner was, but Mai recalled making a joke back on the first day about Fan's death, how both her missing leg and the rest of her body were crushed by separate boulders. On impulse, she called out, "Hey!"

Fan stopped and turned around.

Mai said, "Try to stay away from the park when the invaders get into the Caldera. We're expecting a lot of Earthbender activity near there, and even an empty street can wind up getting a sudden rain of poorly-aimed rocks."

Fan nodded and then jogged away.

Mai wondered if that would actually accomplish anything.

Oh, well. On with the plan!

She got her teacart and sign to parents' mansion house, hauled them up the front stairs, and then positioned them right behind the main doors. After that, it was a matter of working out angles and velocities while she waited.

The light outside eventually dimmed. The eclipse had arrived!

Give it a few minutes for the invaders to make their way to the palace-

-another few to let them line themselves up around the palace-

-maybe hold off for a few more moments so that the timing will be perfect-

-and then Mai ran up to the teacart, jumped up on top with all of her momentum intact, and rode the thing down the front steps of her house-

The teacart tipped over on the right and Mai hit her head on the corner of one of the stairs.

Give it a few minutes for the invaders to make their way to the palace-

-another few to let them line themselves up around the palace-

-maybe hold off for a few more moments so that the timing will be perfect-

-and then Mai ran up to the teacart, jumped up on top with all of her momentum intact, and rode the thing down the front steps of her house. She leaned to the left to offset the tipping and the cart landed with a jolt in the street, still coasting along.

Across the street, the assembled warriors and tanks of the invading army loomed. She saw people looking over at her, after the sound of the crash, and more than a few readied weapons.

Mai ignored them, grabbed the sides of the cart, and swung her body to the side. The cart twisted on its wheels, bleeding off a lot of its speed, and executed a more or less passable left turn. She was now no longer headed towards the invaders, riding parallel to their defensive line.

Mai then grabbed her painted sign and held it up as the cart slowly and squeakily passed by the staring rebels.

The sign read, 'The Avatar smells like bison poop.'

Squeak, squeak. Squeak, squeak.

No one reacted.

Squeak, squeak. Squeak, squeak.

A second later, Mai had drifted down another street, out of the sight of the invaders, just as the Avatar's sky bison swooped through the sky to land by the waiting army.

Before the Avatar could pass on the news that the entire Invasion effort had been pointless and they were all about to suffer a fate worse than death, Mai heard someone bark a single laugh.

She waited some more. There was talking, what sounded like a stirring speech in a voice that was trying hard not to crack, and then the noise of the invaders' retreat began.

What?

One laugh?

After she had gone through all that trouble?

It later turned out that Private Fan had been run over by a tank on a street near the temple.

"Come on, Mai. It's time to embrace the day! Hey, that rhymed."

One.

Laugh.

Really, what kind of barbarians were these people?

Mai ducked under Ty Lee's punch and twisted so that she was facing upward. Her friend's arm was stretched out above her, and even as the muscles shifted to start retracting the limb, Mai reached up and tapped a spot near the elbow.

"Good!" Ty Lee pulled her arm back and gave it a shake. "I felt that in my bone! If it was real hit, I'd still be able to use the arm again in a few minutes, but that'd be a few minutes without being able to throw a punch from this side."

Mai almost smiled. "I could do something with that." She looked behind her, and noticed that quite a few of the soldiers stationed here in the temple were watching the sparring.

Ty Lee had noticed, too. She smiled that smile, the one that made all kinds of promises about long summer dates, winters spent huddled together, a lifetime of mutual respect and partnership, and most importantly a lot of groping in the very near future.

And so Mai was treated to the sight of a small army's morale rising in real-time.

Huh.

"Hey."

Ty Lee shifted her gaze back from the soldiers. "Hm?"

"Teach me how to flirt."

Ty Lee blinked. "You mean all this time you've never flirted with Zuko?"

Mai suppressed a frown. "Not well enough to keep him happy, apparently." Ty Lee was going to ask the obvious question, but Mai cut her off with a waved hand. "I was talking more about the type of flirting that gets most males to do whatever I tell them."

"Oh, that. That's easy..."

Lessons from an expert were certainly helpful, but Mai firmly believed that the most essential learning came from practice. Certainly, it was the only conclusion to draw from the fact that spending hours throwing broken mirror shards at her bedroom ceiling had eventually turned her into a certified Flying Daggers master.

She started with one of the soldiers in the temple who had been watching her and Ty Lee the 'other day.' She walked with an extra bit of sway on her hips, shook her loose hair, and leaned forward. "Hey there, baby."

The soldier blinked. "Do you need something, my lady?"

"Yes. Let's cut to the chase. I'm attractive, you've noticed, and I want you to teach me how to gut someone with a sword. Shall we?"

The soldier blinked again. "Um, perhaps you should talk to my commanding officer?"

What, really? Mai sighed. "Never mind, then." She went over and sat down by Ty Lee in the main foyer.

Ty Lee giggled. "That was better than Azula's first try."

"Gee, thanks."

"Don't ever cut to the chase."

"Metaphorically, or literally?"

"Oh, you."

Mai slowly licked the throwing knife she had been twirling. "This is my blade. How about you show me yours?"

This time, the soldier just gave a quick bow and all but ran away.

"You know," Ty Lee said, "the blatant approach isn't right for everyone. Maybe more subtlety would work for you?"

"Come on, Mai. It's time to embrace the day! Hey, that rhymed."

Mai sat up in her bed. "It's absolutely imperative that you show me how to wear makeup in a way that won't terrify people!"

Ty Lee paused in the process of climbing on the bed for her bouncing, and then straightened and actually snapped a quick bow. "Mai, I'm honored that you've chosen to let me finally save you from yourself. I promise I will give this responsibility all due effort."

"Ha, ha."

No extra hip-swaying, just the hint of a smile on her lips (coming more from the makeup than any actual effort) and shy eyes. "Excuse me, sir."

The soldier looked at her, and she clasped her hands behind her back. "I've long been fascinated by swordfighting, and you look like you know your business." She lowered her eyes for just a moment, as if thoughts passed through her head that she didn't dare articulate. "Do you think you could show me- um, things?"

(She did indeed have thoughts passing through her head, but the reasons she wasn’t speaking them was because, "If you fall for this I will never respect you," would probably ruin the whole effect.)

"I would be pleased to show you whatever you want, my lady."

Yeah, Mai just bet he would. "Thank you so much!"

"Well, the idea behind this kind of sword, the dao, is that it has a single cutting edge, the curved one, and so the style for using it encourages chopping attacks..."

She gave him the full, worshipful attention of a pretty girl, which is really what every guy secretly wants (according to Ty Lee).

Mai gazed down the length of the sword, to where the tip curved up just beneath the soldier's chin, and let her expression fall into its natural blankness. "I win."

He swallowed very, very carefully. "Are you sure you've never done this before?"

"I guess I'm just a natural." She pulled the sword away, twirled it in her hand so that she held it in a reverse grip, and raised it so that he could take it back by the handle. "So how do I fight with two of these?"

The soldier frowned. "You don't want to learn that. Dual swords are just for showing off. No one seriously fights that way- er, no one fights well that way. The people who try just get hurt."

Mai thought of one particular swordsman who she knew who would probably object. "You don't say?"

Mai sat on the foot of her bed, in the exact spot where there would be a rolled up note waiting for her at the end of the day- where there was a rolled up note waiting for every day. She had long ago stopped reading it- them- whatever. The words were burned into her mind:

I cannot allow the Fire Nation to make the second great mistake of its history. I have come to believe that we never should have started this war, and I will not let the war finish with the death of another nation. I will confront my father, and if he does not abandon this path, then I will join the Avatar to restore peace and balance to the world. I hope you understand, but it is unlikely that I will ever know. If we do not meet again, I want you to know that I love you, and that you have been the source of my only real happiness here.

Goodbye and good fortune. -Zuko

She wasn't even sure why she was here. Yeah, it was supposedly to learn how to fight with two dao blades, because Zuko was someone who knew how to do that-

-had taught himself how to do that, he had told her, just like she had taught herself how to throw sharp things-

-but now that she was here, she remembered that he was so much more.

So much better, and show much worse.

He was leaving her to go to the Avatar.

She got up, and went over to her desk. She spread out a piece of paper, prepared her ink, tied her sleeve back, and took up her brush. With the same precision that usually reserved for putting sharp bits of metal where other people didn't want them to go, she wrote out a letter:

"Zuko,

"I don't care about the world.

"Goodbye and lick ash. -Mai"

Then she left it on the foot of her bed and went to go explore the city's empty mansions.

Mai hid in her closet, listening to Zuko's slow footsteps across her bedroom. They went silent, and Mai could just imagine Zuko picking up the note that had been left for him, could picturing him with confusing twisting his scarred features as he read out loud, "Zuko, I'm pregnant- WHAT?!"

She grinned.

"Zuko,

"I cannot hide it anymore. I'm madly in love with Ty Lee, and I've run away to marry her in the colonies." He was silent for a moment too long. "Mai always did weirdly tolerate her."

She had to cover her mouth to stifle the laughter.

"Zuko, your sister is behind you right now."

There was a cry, and then the glue Mai had spread out over that spot on the floor must have done its work, because there was a loud clump like a body slamming to the ground.

"Zuko, you idiot, the Day of Black Sun isn't until tomorrow."

Of course, there wasn't a handy calendar with which to confirm the date in the entire palace. Not anymore, at least.

Mai wasn't sure that the gag was worth the effort.

"Zuko, the Avatar died. He said you can have his scalp razor and the weird whistle that calls the bison."

The whistle wrapped in the letter didn't actually do anything, but Mai could hear Zuko trying it anyway. She wanted to laugh at how gullible he was, but instead she just sighed.

"Zuko, good luck with your Avatar. I packed you a lunch. Don't forget to wash behind your ears."

Even when he opened the lunch box to find the angry fire ferret, Mai had trouble mustering up any amusement. No matter what, he still always left.

By the time Zuko was being yanked off the ground by the rope trap Mai had set up and left to dangle in the center of her bedroom, the she was forced to admit that this was no longer funny.

If it had ever been.

It certainly had never made her feel better about his leaving.

Hurting other people could be amusing. Other people's pain, in general, could be amusing.

But it didn't make Mai hurt any less.

She might be defining a new reality for herself, but was it really any better?

This time, Mai was once again sitting on the foot of the bed instead of any prank notes. Zuko stopped short, as he always did when he found her, and walked over. "Mai?"

She looked up at him. "I wanted to find you, so I could ask you to show me how to fight with two swords. But you're leaving. And that's the most important thing to me right now."

Zuko sighed and sat down next to her. "I need to do this. I need to go help set the world right."

"I don't care." Mai closed her eyes and leaned again him. "I don't care about the world. I don’t care about the Avatar. I just care about you and me."

Zuko put an arm around her. "I know. That's why I have to leave."

"I'm sorry I'm not a sweet, flirty girl who can care about that kind of stuff."

"It's- I wish you did care, but I don't want you to be anyone other than who you are. Does that make any sense?"

She snorted. "Does it even matter?"

"I guess not." He stood up. "I have a little bit of time. Do you want a quick lesson? It can be something to remember me by, in case I- Something of me you can keep hold of, inside of you, no matter where I am."

Something of Zuko to keep inside.

Something that would survive the cycle of Days of Black Sun, even as he left her every day.

"Okay."

He nodded at her. "You obviously know what you're doing with dual weapons. But you don't know the exact techniques for a single cutting edge like these swords have. Don't be afraid to cross your arms for transitions like this..."

"Remember to counter-balance..."

"The reverse-grip requires a whole new technique..."

"So while the Avatar kept us afloat by spinning that stuff, I hung from his legs and deflected the spears they were throwing at us from the ground. The wide sweeps of the blade knocked the spears completely off course, so there was no danger of them getting to the Avatar."

Mai practiced some of those wide sweeps with Zuko's swords. "What is it about him?"

"Who?"

"The Avatar."

Zuko straightened from the demonstration he had been giving. "So what is what about him?"

"Why him?" Mai straightened and let the weight of the swords lower her arms. "If you really feel the need to save the world from your father, why go to the Avatar? Azula nearly took him down once already."

Zuko's gaze lost its focus on her. "He believes in the world. In the idea that the nations can unite. Despite the way I chased him, he wanted to be my friend. I don't know if he still does- not after the times I refused his hand, and helped Azula under Ba Sing Se- but I have to try. His friends probably hate me, but I think- despite everything- there's a chance. He has a good heart that way."

Mai considered that. "He's a sweet kid."

Zuko snorted. "I guess he is."

"Huh."

As Zuko watched, Mai danced across her bedroom. It wasn't real dancing, no; even she wasn't audacious enough to shame her bloodline by shaking her body in time to music, especially not in front of a guy who would be her boyfriend for the next seven and a half minutes. Nor was this a lead-in to seducing Zuko, because apparently she needed to be bald and want to hug the entire world to do that.

No, this was a dance of death.

Or simulated death with no chance of nicking anyone.

She swung Zuko's swords in sequence, air whistling around her like she wished her boyfriend would when she strutted past him, working those cutting edges like she worked her cutting remarks, stabbing the points out with the precision of clockwork.

Mai was all about managing time, now.

She finished by slicing her divan in half, because why not? Zuko made a surprised sound at that, but she turned and smirked at him to let him know that she hadn't all of the sudden been consumed in a blood-red cloud of all-consuming rage. "Pretty good for one lesson, huh?"

Zuko managed to find a smile for her somewhere in his junk pile. "If I didn't know better, I'd wonder if you'd been playing with my swords behind my back."

No, he was the one who was cheating on her with a desire to save the world. "Let that thought keep you warm at night when you're camping in the wilderness with Snow Barbarians."

He lost his cheer. "I'm still sorry I need to leave you."

She placed the swords together, slid them back in their single sheath, and tossed it back to Zuko. "Sorry is for actions you regret, not the things you keep doing to people."

He was silent as he took his leave, probably because he knew she was right, even if he didn't know how many times he had left her already.

The Avatar sank to his knees in the throne room, bowing before an empty dais. "No. No, no, NO!! Fire Lord Ozai, where are you?!"

That's when Mai stepped out from the hidden observation point on the side of the dais. Tracing the echoes to this room, to the Avatar himself, hadn’t been hard, and she needed a new hobby. "Will I do?"

The Avatar snapped to his feet and hefted his staff in front of him. "Where's the Fire Lord?"

"Oh, hanging around somewhere. Who cares?" Mai trotted down the stairs from the throne, enjoying the swishing of her hair-tails. For the first time in a long time, she was wearing her hair in its regular style, the ox-horn buns with the tails that framed her face and a fringe above her eyes.

He watched her with wary eyes. Smart of him. "I care."

"Don't I know it!" Mai hopped down from the last step. "That's why you're so important, isn't it? Because you care enough to be the one who saves the world, the one who assassinates the Fire Lord and brings the evil Fire Nation crashing down."

The Avatar blinked. "I don't want to assassinate anyone or bring anything down! I'm just trying to stop the Fire Lord from ordering anything else that will hurt people!"

"Huh." Mai let her sleeves fall down over her hands. "Good luck with that."

Then she threw a razor disc at his face.

The Avatar was still as quick as he was at Omashu, she had to give him that. He shifted his staff up, even as he made a little squealy sound, and intercepted the disk. It sank into the wood, but flew free when he swung the staff out in front of him.

Mai only realized he was Airbending at her when a breeze tugged at her hair and clothes, and before she could even think of dodging, a wind that somehow had the solid density of a good boot slammed into her gut.

Gah.

Okay, mental note: Airbending was invisible in a room that was dusted daily.

By the time she pushed herself back to her feet, the Avatar was gone.

Yeah, he better- guh- run.

Mai decided to stay on the floor and wait for her stomach to stop hurting.

The Avatar shifted his staff up, even as he made a little squealy sound, and intercepted the disk. It sank into the wood of the staff, but flew free when he swung the staff in an arc.

The dirt and dust Mai had collected from the halls of the underground bunker, where Azula and the Fire Lord were even now waiting for a shot at this kid, responded to the shifting air and made visible the arc of solid wind headed for her gut. She threw herself forward into a butterfly kick that carried her over the Airbending attack, and even as she landing she was unsheathing the dual swords she had pilfered from one of the Fire Army supply dumps.

His quickness extended to his feet. He danced along with her as she loosed a chain of attacks on him, dodging each slice and stab. Those he couldn't evade he deflected with his staff, and he even had the skill and presence of mind to only touch his staff to the flat of her blades, not trying to test the wood of his weapon against the steel of hers.

For a kid, he knew his stuff.

The whole time, he moved backward, giving ground until he judged himself close enough to the door to make a break for it. As soon as he turned and ran, Mai filled the air with blades, but he somehow dodged them all, leaving her behind in the dark and the dust.

No wonder Zuko had been chasing this kid for so long. He was a slippery one.

For a kid, the Avatar knew his stuff.

But Mai knew what he was planning. Even before the thought formed in his mind to make a break for the door, she sheathed one of the dao swords and filled the air with razor discs that flew on curved paths. They formed a little storm of deadly metal, and in the eye, Mai and the Avatar battled.

He renewed his attack, meeting her blades with his staff but taking moments here and there to let go with one hand and blast her with small tunnels of air. Each one hit like a fist and slowed Mai's ability to react until she left an opening long enough for the Avatar to spin-kick a cyclone into her face.

She didn't even notice him leave.

Sleepy time, now.

The razor discs formed a little storm of deadly metal, and in the eye, Mai and the Avatar battled.

She swung her dao swords in a double-attack that required his firm grip on the staff, and he certainly wasn't expecting it when she let go and threw a punch with her right hand that struck a certain spot in his left shoulder.

He cried out, "Yeowch!" Because, apparently, him being bald wasn’t the only way in which he was a little baby.

Mai smirked.

For the next thirty seconds, his left arm moved like an employee who had been roused to come into work on a weekend- that is to say twice as slow and three times as expensive- and she took full advantage with a series of palm strikes to his face, and then a rain of slashes from a razor she had been hiding up her sleeve.

She thought she had the fight won when he threw himself backwards in a spinning jump that sent dust and dirt swirling all around. Mai raised an arm to keep it out of her eyes.

But it wasn't an attack. It was an unfocused ploy to get away. The Avatar was running for the door again, so Mai threw both of her arms out and shot a series of bolts from her wrist-launchers to persuade him that the particular direction he had chosen might not be as not-deadly as he first thought. He stopped short, turned around, and jumped into the air, snapping out the glider wings from his staff and taking to the air.

He swirled around the ceiling of the throne room, building up speed for a swoop at the exit.

Mai, meanwhile, ran for a particular spot on one of the walls. She tore down the tapestry that hung there, revealing the spears she had placed there earlier. There were enough to waste with throwing, which was exactly what she did, sending pointed shaft after pointed shaft up.

This time, the Avatar didn't have a Blue Spirit to protect him.

One of the spears finally stuck a glider wing, and the Avatar dropped like a stone. Mai was already throwing razors to box him in before he could make a serious effort to dodge, and then came in at him with her last spear.

She twirled it and swiped with it and knocked the Avatar's staff out of his hand and then shoved the shaft against his forehead and then shifted it as he stumbled back and then stabbed with it and then the Avatar screamed in pain and she pulled back and stabbed again.

He died just as she did, that first time.

For all that he was the Bridge Between Worlds and the Culmination Of Ten Thousand Lives and The Fire Nation’s Deadliest Enemy and The Avatar, he died like a normal person.

That is, to say, full of very leaky holes.

She had killed the Avatar.

So much for him being a sweet kid.

If Mai couldn't be sweet, then she could spend her days destroying everything that was working against her-

-everything that was keeping her away from Zuko for an eternity.

She had made herself a world with no Avatar in it-

-for less than twenty-four hours.

TO BE CONTINUED TOMORROW

"Come on, Mai. It's time to embrace the day! Hey, that rhymed."

Mai laid in bed and thought about what she had done.

[cdrforea]

Call of Duty: Warzone Review: The Definitive Battle Royale

New Post has been published on https://bestedevices.com/call-of-duty-warzone-review-the-definitive-battle-royale.html

Call of Duty: Warzone Review: The Definitive Battle Royale

Call of Duty: Warzone Review: Looting the Competition

"Call of Duty: Warzone is the final Battle Royale experience right now."

Enough unique aspects to stand out from the crowd

Decades of foundation ensure a solid experience

The looting mode is a welcome surprise

Position audio is somewhat overblown

Existing players may have a small charging advantage

After an embarrassing number of rumors and leaks, Call of Duty reentered the Battle Royale scene with Warzone for the second time. a free portion of the larger 2019 release of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare.

The first attempt to get on the train with the heavily marketed blackout was largely forgotten in the weeks after it started. Activision, probably worried about trying again, then sold its next annual shooter release without mentioning the mode that would eventually fill the empty space in its main menu.

However, Warzone doesn't just refer to the game's belated Battle Royale experience. A separate mode called Plunder is also available and could turn out to be the next big thing.

Since the advent of PUBG and Fortnite, the industry has been practically floating in Battle Royale variants. I wouldn't blame you for having all Battle Royale titles created equally, but the industry knows that blatant imitators don't float. Not if you need large numbers of players to get a single game going. Those who survive adhere to the defining characteristics of the genre: around a hundred players struggle to be the last to be on a battlefield that is gradually shrinking to the size of your average community allocation.

Warzone sticks to that, but brings decades of industrial polish and a few new ideas to the table.

Good morning Verdansk!

In the Warzone version of Battle Royale, the usual limit of 100 people is increased to 150 to allow the three-man team to line up. Just like EA's response with Apex Legends, Activision seems to be pushing for longevity through social interaction. The more the better and all of that. Camping is not a good spectator sport, and the bigger the squad, the more likely a hot-headed soldier will go against the grain. Pressing a forced group scenario won't help the scared lone wolf, but a "Mute All" button is clearly visible to rule out all of this potential negative energy.

Solo mode was introduced in a post-release patch, but since it can be removed at any time, get ready to roll the dice in a squad queue at some point in your career. After all, you can't expect every player to want their time to be at the command of a predetermined team. Form a ready-made strategy if you are looking for a maritime strategy and fraternal pats on the back and only deal with the fact that games are for some entertainment. no job.

What will help the conscious player, however, are the numerous respawn options that are available after taking a few too many on the chest. Squads can take seriously injured teammates, but even if you succumb to your injuries, it doesn't mean you're not in the game. Step into the bucket and you'll be kidnapped to the Gulag – a card that current Modern Warfare players are undoubtedly aware of – to win their freedom in a one-on-one game. The loadouts are chosen randomly each time. So you have to change your usual duel tactics to have a chance of winning. Live and you get a second chance on the field. Waste your chances or fall again, and surviving allies can throw some cash into a local donor box to bring you back again.

Competition creates innovation

The battle royale genre secured a place in the video game's hall of fame through its survival aspect at a time when sandbox survival simulations were making decent numbers. The idea that death means death resonated with those tired of the running and weapon tactics of most online shooters. It's interesting to see that competitors are gradually deciding to upset the delicate balance of the genre, but this second chance mechanic should make a huge contribution to promoting player loyalty.

Without a ranking season, top players will always mix with the less experienced and relative newcomers, so the 99% have little hope of ending a game. Where is it fun to step into the bucket faster than is required to load a lobby? What Call of Duty has done here may not seem to be in the best interests of the professionals, but in reality it is a way to give the less competitive people a reason to stay with them. Big esports players don't rely on respawns to get to the top. The only thing that should do this is to give more people the chance to enjoy the action while filling up the champions' points.

Constantly supplying the grinder with meat is not the only thing Warzone does to mix up the well-known formula. Do you feel selfish or don't you have a buddy who brings you back to life? With this money, you can collect your favorite killstreaks, extra ammo, or even extra armor if you expect a big brawl. The unpredictable nature of long-range killstreaks, drawn from nowhere, will prove to be just as annoying as any regular match, but it's hard to deny that gameplay spices that buy killstreaks can add to the otherwise predictable experience. Battle Royale fanatics have worked out a carefully orchestrated script for success over the years, and anything that shakes the status quo will give Warzone a definite reason to coexist with the established titles over time. And there is more to it than that.

Loadouts that come into play regularly reward a high-risk play style. They are similar to airdrops in the famous Battle Royale titles, but they do not offer random, high-level loot that everyone can argue about, but a selection of predefined loadouts, full kits with combat-ready tools and equipment to get you back in the fight. Warzone, like the others, also offers tiered loot. It is not immediately clear what rarity one weapon has over another, but expect those found in caches scattered around the site to have more accessories than the average assault rifle.

Finally, there are contracts and missions that you can find on site and that can be completed for a bit more money on the road. These mark targets (such as loot caches or even enemy squads) on the map and give the teams even more reasons to risk life and limb outdoors and actively look for ways to start a fight. Exploration is a big part of the Battle Royale experience, and Warzone is doing everything in its power to facilitate and promote the outbreak of violence. It sounds stressful, but it's another reason why I see it as an advantage over the competition when it comes to engaging players and viewers. It is rarely boring.

Looting is not a mistake

Aside from the Battle Royale aspect, there is another 50% of the Warzone experience – and that's the best part. At a time when we can't take two steps without falling from a plane into a life or death battle over a desert island, Plunder is here to offer something completely unique. The best parts of modes like Kill Confirmed and Search & Destroy are required to offer a huge cat and mouse game in the same expansive environment as its older siblings.

You won't find that many players in this mode, but it's the best. Groups of three players fall on the island (with their full loads) and sprint to get cash and deposit it for safe keeping. This is done by expensive balloons or by risking everything with a helicopter. If you die in cash on yourself, a substantial amount will be deducted with the aim of securing the best before the long timer expires. Respawns are activated here. While you don't want to die and drop your money for the most part, it isn't the end of the world if you have some gross spawns.

It's like The Weakest Link, only Anne Robinson has a gun.

Just like in Battle Royale mode, there is a lot going on to advance the match. Contracts are everywhere, helicopters can be shot for big splashes of money, you can raid your enemies' wallets, and there is huge amounts of money stowed in caches strewn across the map. To improve competitiveness, top earners pinged their locations on the map throughout the game, resulting in a messy pursuit that will undoubtedly result in the types of montages you'll only see in a hype trailer before release . Rather than fear for your own life at every step, fear for the money you couldn't throw into a helicopter or fancy balloon. It's like The Weakest Link, only Anne Robinson has a gun.

Like it or not, the Battle Royale "madness" is unlikely to go anywhere. Each. The good news here, at least, is that Activision's second try is currently one of the best – not only because of what it adds to the genre, but also because of the foundation on which it is based. PUBG, the one who triggered this whole gold mine rush, is still struggling with groundbreaking errors and inconsistent spatial audio cues three years after its release. Warzone has largely avoided these audio problems with the exception of a few thundering steps in a skyscraper.

With nearly two decades of releases, Call of Duty had the foundation for the perfect Battle Royale experience long before the idea became mainstream – Activision just had to show it some love. There is a reason why the series attracts the trigger-minded player type. It just nailed the feeling of firing a round. It's not quite as authentic as Battlefield, but it's clear that Activision's rotating developer teams have developed an addictive sense of shooting over the years that ensures that most players know what to expect before they do take the plunge. It's tense, but fair and oh so rewarding.

Conclusion

Our opinion

I'm inclined to say Call of Duty: Warzone is currently the final Battle Royale experience. I'm not afraid to say that Activision used the best of Call of Duty's extensive history to create a more complete Battle Royale experience, but Plunder is currently the standout piece of the package, and I'm a firm believer in it is convinced that in the near future it will not only become a popular pastime for fans, but also an integral part of the Twitch and Mixer websites.

Is there a better alternative out there?

It won't appeal to the Fortnite builders out there. Neither will it reach those who enjoy the slower pace and survival-oriented practicality of something like PUBG. But if you are looking for a serious shooter with a real shine, this is the one for you.

How long it will take?

Hopefully as long as the other big names in the game right now. Both modes appear to be specifically designed for spectator sports where the money should flow into development. Given the experience that existing Call of Duty weapons and maps are used to flesh this out, we can't be sure how much new content will come, but since Activision is always working hard on the next iteration of the series we hope that Warzone will borrow from his brothers in the coming years.

Should you buy it

It's free. Its value as a product cannot be compared. Given that trying the closest competitor (PUBG) still costs a penny or two, this is a no-brainer for those who want to take part in the latest and greatest role. The only thing that stands in your way is a long download.

Editor's recommendations

[heff88]

Hi Wrasslin’ fans, lapsed or otherwise, you may or may not be aware that this little thing called Wrestlemania is tonight and if we get behind it, it might just make it!

We (wrestling nerds) will return to our normal dismissals after tonight, but here's a place for everyone to discuss the biggest AMERICAN wrestling event of the year in all its silly splendour in case any casuals want to get involved. Are you staying up for it? planning on catching up (full or highlights) tomorrow?

In the UK you can watch it either on Sky Box Office or WWE Network, the pre-show starts at 10 pm tonight and the main card at midnight. Given the amount of matches, it's probably safe to say this thing is gonna run til about 5 am...

But anyway, let's break down the card! (Order TBD)

PRE-SHOW: ANDRE THE GIANT MEMORIAL BATTLE ROYALE a.k.a that sweet, sweet WrestleMania payday

Mostly just a bit of fun really, throwing everyone who doesn't have a match in here, INCLUDING THE SMACKDOWN TAG CHAMPS THE USOS. Interestingly, Luke Harper isn't listed (though he might be a surprise) so at the moment the only really credible guys here are The Big Show and Braun Strowman (who should win, really). Couple NXT guys Tian Bing and Killian Dain have announced as debuting here too so look at them as outsiders, otherwise pretty forgettable. There is also rumours that a certain larger than life NFL player may make an entrance...

Prediction: BRAUUUUUUUN

NEVILLE VS AUSTIN ARIES - CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE

Shame this is on the pre-show really, they've spent the better part of the year trying to build these guys up and finally seem to have struck gold with "King" Neville proclaiming "F*** the Mackems" and no one will see them on the big stage. If you are new, (Adrian) Neville is a high-flipping Geordie lad who has recently kicked out in frustration at always been looked down upon (because he's a wee, weird looking Geordie guy) and it's been pretty great. It's kinda off Aries is the face here but anyway, this should be a good match between two excellent workers with an alright story behind it to boot.

Prediction: Aries

MAIN CARD:

Smackdown Women's Title 6-pack challenge Alexa Bliss (c) vs Becky Lynch vs Natalya vs. Mickie James vs. Carmella vs. Naomi

This WAS on the pre-show but WWE actually responded to complaints that its a bit off for the women's division they've spent the last year and a half building as a credible thing to end up on the pre-show. That said it's probably a good shout it will just open the main show instead. I love Alexa Bliss but no chance Naomi isn't taking this, she never "lost" the title and now gets to do it in front of her hometown crowd (was her "injury" a work?) but these are all credible challengers (except maybe Carmella) so should be entertaining enough. This isn't an elimination match, however, so don’t expect it to be too long.

Prediction: Naomi

RAW TAG TITLES LADDER MATCH The Club (Gallows and Anderson) (c) vs. Sheamus & Cesaro vs. Enzo & Cass

Because who doesn't love big ol' tag ladder matches at Mania? This division is a mess after tonight's hosts The New Day (don't sleep on them getting involved) ruled the titles for over a year. This should be fun at least, the only way to make this match a bit more entertaining was to throw some ladders in the mix, although big fella Sheamo might not agree after he received several stitches taking a ladder shot on RAW this week. There are also A LOT of rumours of the Hardys getting involved here but I'm not sold on that just now (would make sense regarding ladders mind). But if not, I think, sadly, this is Enzo & Cass's coronation even though they are clearly the weakest team of the bunch...

Predictions: DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! (but if not S-A-W-F-Ties Enzo & Cass)

INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE MATCH Dean Ambrose (c) vs Baron Corbyn

I'm surprised this isn't a no-DQ match given the build of this one. For the uninitiated, Ambrose is "TOTALLY INSANE" whereas “Big Banter Breakfast” Corbyn is a "Lone Wolf" who's gimmick is that he really believes himself to be the next top guy (and fair play to him, I guess). Highlights have included Corbyn trying to murder Ambrose by crushing him with a forklift (which they keep mentioning totally earnestly because WRASSLIN’) and Ambrose literally switching Corbyn off during an interview. Hard to know where Ambrose is at the moment, he started last year SUPA HOT FIRE and seems to have lost all momentum, so would expect this to be Corbyn's moment to prove himself.

Prediction: Corbyn takes the Intercontinental title, labour party, to new heights.

BIG SILLY MIXED TAG TEAM/MARRIAGE PROPOSAL MATCH John Cena & Nikki Bella vs The Miz and Maryse

Holy crap, what a build, what a year these guys have had. On any other year (remember these two headlined a WrestleMania only 6 years ago) this would be the stupidest match on the card... and it is and will be, but that is not a bad thing. This will be pure "sports entertainment" and you know what, I'm actually kinda looking forward to it? Everyone involved's stock has flown up over the course of the last year, and the build for this between them has actually been amazing (If you haven't seen them, do yourself a favour and check out Miz and Maryse impersonating Cena and Nikki, it's been amazing). This will be a classic "Good guys conquer bad guys" match Cena has been having forever, but for once he's (well, WWE) aren't burying young talent and can see Miz and Maryse coming out of this looking great. I expect Daniel Bryan will get involved in some way (returning the kicks Miz stole from him probably) and Cena proposes to Nikki after, with the rest of the show just being the two of them banging in the middle of the ring.

Predictions: It would be AMAZING if Miz and Maryse won, but it's not going to happen, so let's just enjoy this for what it is.

UNITED STATES TITLE MATCH (but oh so much more) Chris Jericho (c) vs Kevin Owens

This is a title match, but it is SO MUCH MORE. This has had almost a year build, as Jericho and Owens became best friends and literally carried post-split RAW for its first few months. Owens had to give up the big boy title for the big boy match for this, and everyone kinda forgot Jericho was a champion, so the title isn't really important, this is the culmination of the greatest betrayal since The Shield or Shawn Michaels put Marty Jannetty through the barber shop window. This has the potential to be MOTN as Jericho is still "the best at what he does, maaaaaaaan" and Owens is just a fantastic heel. Owens should win, however, for this story to really make sense (but this might carry over to RAW tomorrow)

Prediction: KOMania2

RAW Women's title match, 4-way Elimination match Bayley (c) vs. Charlotte Flair vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax

You'll notice (if you're still reading) both women's matches are basically just big smodges just to get everyone (except Dana Brooke, lol) involved. The Women stole the show last year, but I can't really see it happening this year. Since that incredible encounter, Charlotte and Sasha have fought forever, as have, to a lesser extent, Bayley and Nia Jax, and so here we are. Bayley's not had a great run as champion and kinda needs to go back to being the underdog. Sasha has been teasing a heel turn which very much could/should happen here, Nia Jax is big and that so if she doesn't win she's probably getting DQ'd? (If that's a thing, wrestling can never make up its mind about that) Or if not ganged up on. So I guess that leaves Charlotte to become a 5 time champion on her run to match (or beat) her father's record in the space of like 2 years through short reigns (I'm sure Flair had a few microscopic runs too during mid-90s WCW). The most intriguing thing about this match is that it is elimination, but otherwise, thoroughly un-hyped for this one, sadly.

Prediction: Sasha heel turn on Bayley, Nia gets screwed somehow, Charlotte wins.

MAIN EVENT MATCHES: Shane McMahon vs AJ Styles (because we had nothing better to do for our universally praised wrestler of the year than fight the boss's son)

Who the hell knows, we could have had Michaels vs Styles man. I respect Michaels decision not to come out of retirement, but man, we're left with THIS? I don't really know what to say, they're building this as a regular wrestling match, so in theory Styles should squash Shane O'Mac, but I guess he's gonna need to jump off something for some reason because it's him? I have faith in Styles to produce some magic with Shane (because, hell, if he can do it with Ellsworth then surely here) but man, they better be putting the title on Styles for a year after this to break CM Punk's record or something.

Predictions: Shane to jump off the rollercoaster set or the giant fake ring above the normal one (which looks really weird by the way), Styles obviously to win because otherwise, I might just give up.

"NON-SANCTIONED" MATCH Seth Rollins vs Triple H

When did Un-sanctioned become Non-sanctioned? Anyway, if you don't know what this means, basically its a "kayfabe" (storyline) way of saying this match "shouldn't be happening officially" and therefore these two can use all of WWE's facilities to beat the crap out of each other. Or something. This match pretty much depends on how healthy Rollins is (apparently he's had the flu all week, the guy really can't catch a break huh?) and he's returning from a knee injury (hence the non-sanctioned thing). If he's healthy and all is good, this could be a decent blow-off to a long, drawn out build in which Triple H screwed Seth out of the title back in August and then everyone forgot about it for a while. We will just have to see.

Prediction: Rollins, Triple H might be a heel but his actual real-life heel days are long past. That said, it being a non-sanctioned match, expect a lot of shenanigans from Samoa Joe (and/or maybe Finn?) given he'll be allowed to basically turn this into a handicap match.

IT'S MY YARD! NO, IT'S MINE! MATCH Roman Reigns (boo) vs The Undertaker

Holy S***, Roman Reigns got booed at the Hall of Fame induction. That is some seriously dumb, needy reactions from the fans but it is also a sign of things to come. It takes a lot for me to feel sorry for Reigns but that was insane. Anyway, this match is much more dependent on The Undertaker who isn't, in fact, a dead man and is indeed ageing quite rapidly at this point. He did not look good at the Rumble at all and he barely had to do anything against Shane last year, so who knows. Reigns, love him or hate him, is a reliable safe pair of hands in "big matches" and you know what, it actually makes much more sense for him to beat The Undertaker and go full heel (PLEASE WWE, we beg you). Triple H made an interesting comment the other day that "Well, Reigns basically is a heel to most of you anyway, so we can kinda book him how we like" so maybe not. Anyway, there's some chat that this should close the show, but I don't think so, personally, unless this really is Taker’s last dance. This might be alright, we'll have to see how long it takes Taker to get to the ring (gonna guess half an hour) but PLEASE guys if you are putting Reigns over tonight PLEASE do not get Taker to raise his hand in respect. You WILL get a full-scale riot on your hands (then again, maybe that's what they want).

Predictions: Reigns (sadly?). Apparently, J.R is calling this one too, fuelling the retirement rumours.

WWE UNIVERSAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH WILLIAM GOLDBERG (c) vs BORK LESNAR w/ Paul Heyman

*sigh* The main dispute over who closes the show is between the two title matches. I personally think it will be this but in the spirit of the rumble winner, we will stick to that format for now. This match could be good. It could be. It just depends on if Goldberg (who also got booed at the Hall of Fame, interestingly) can go longer than 5 minutes. This is the big epic culmination of the grand total of about 3 minutes of actual wrestling so far, as Goldberg squashed Lesnar at Survivor Series (which was a great moment in all honesty) and then eliminated him with relative ease at the Rumble. This is also a "WrestleMania XX apology match" after that utter car-crash of a match which ruined an otherwise solid, though controversial, purely because of Benoit, Mania. So basically, this match HAS to be at least 5-10 minutes. It doesn't need to be a big long "slobber knocker" but it does need to at least feel like a big bruising end to one of the company's biggest but most controversial storylines, given two part-timers are fighting over one of its main belts. I'm quietly confident that they will deliver something worthwhile, but I also wouldn't be surprised if it's an utter mess.

Prediction: Lesnar finally conquers Goldberg, although apparently the latter is booked for RAW tomorrow? Also, maybe, just maybe Finn Balor shows up (here or tomorrow).

WWE TITLE MATCH Bray Wyatt (c) vs. Randy Orton

This might be on before the two other matches, but as Randy Orton is this year's Royal Rumble winner, let's stick with “tradition” for the purposes of this write-up.

This storyline has been wild. It has also been a lot of fun and very self-referentially "Attitude Era Wrasslin’" so I must say I've enjoyed it a lot and if nothing else, Bray Wyatt has actually finally got to be the champion for a bit and looked pretty menacing doing it. There's still the Luke Harper issue to be resolved here (and perhaps a return for forgotten Wyatt family member Erick Rowan?) but this should be a pretty solid main event. Orton isn't amazing, we all know that, but he does have the ability to turn matches on their head in an instant (as does Wyatt, for that matter) and this storyline, crazy as it has been, has been great for both of them. Expect maybe some supernatural happenings too given the whole "NO, I HAVE THE SPIRIT OF SISTER ABIGAIL" dispute.

Prediction: Orton.

And so there we have it. Phew, this took as long to write as its probably going to be to watch it, but there we are. I hope this was worth writing down for someone anyway. Overall, this is an intriguing Mania which hasn't had the best build but, on the Raw side especially, that's kinda typical of where WWE is at right now. There are a lot of variables going into tonight, but there is a lot of potential too. We shall see. I just hope not to be too drunk/tired and end up missing the main event like last year (although to be fair, that was a total snoozefest).

Let me know your thoughts, feelings, predictions and Wrestlemania plans! Or tell me to shut up and I'll get a mod to merge this with the other wrestling thread. For now, I'm off for a walk while I still can.