#...and that taught me that i must have more interests in my heart...

[uncanny-tranny]

Comparing oppression can sometimes give you insight as to what other groups of people go through. It teaches you what you have in common with people seemingly different than you are, and teaches you how you are different and how you can ally yourself better with other peoples.

However, if your goal is to prove you suffer the most between you and another person, you'll likely find that there is no conversation, just an endless barrage of back-and-forth to prove which of you deserves to be listened to.

The reality is that you don't have to be in the most pain in order to be listened to. So often, we are inundated with this idea that the person suffering the most is the only one who ought to be listened to, and it sends the message of "holy shit, I guess I don't matter. I guess I deserve to suffer if others are going through worse," and that's just unreasonable and unfair. Who has it worse is entirely contextual and changing, and sometimes it is subjective - as in, something that is earth-breaking for you is an average tuesday evening for the guy next to you.

Kill the cop in your head that says your voice will only matter if you prove yourself. Listen to other marginalized people and know it isn't a competition to see who can prove themselves most worthy of tine and energy. Our resources can (and should) be multifaceted and able to help a variety of peoples.

[inhonoredglory]

Aziraphale’s Choice, the Job Connection, and Michael Sheen’s Morality

Update: Michael Sheen liked this post on Twitter, so I'm fairly certain there is a lot of validity to it.

I’ve had time to process Aziraphale’s choice at the end of Season 2. And I think only blaming the religious trauma misses something important in Aziraphale’s character. I think what happened was also Aziraphale’s own conscious choice––as a growth from his trauma, in fact. Hear me out.

Since November 2022 I’ve been haunted by something Michael Sheen said at the MCM London Comic Con. At the Q&A, someone asked him about which fantasy creature he enjoyed playing most and Michael (bless him, truly) veered on a tangent about angels and goodness and how, specifically,

We as a society tend to sort of undervalue goodness. It’s sort of seen as sort of somehow weak and a bit nimby and “oh it’s nice.” And I think to be good takes enormous reserves of courage and stamina. I mean, you have to look the dark in the face to be truly good and to be truly of the light…. The idea that goodness is somehow lesser and less interesting and not as kind of muscular and as passionate and as fierce as evil somehow and darkness, I think is nonsense. The idea of being able to portray an angel, a being of love. I love seeing the things people have put online about angels being ferocious creatures, and I love that. I think that’s a really good representation of what goodness can be, what it should be, I suppose.

I was looking forward to BAMF!Aziraphale all season long, and I think that’s what we got in the end. Remember Neil said that the Job minisode was important for Aziraphale’s story. Remember how Aziraphale sat on that rock and reconciled to himself that he MUST go to Hell, because he lied and thwarted the will of God. He believed that––truly, honestly, with the faith of a child, but the bravery of a soldier.

Aziraphale, a being of love with more goodness than all of Heaven combined, believed he needed to walk through the Gates of Hell because it was the Right Thing to do. (Like Job, he didn’t understand his sin but believed he needed to sacrifice his happiness to do the Right Thing.)

That’s why we saw Aziraphale as a soldier this season: the bookshop battle, the halo. But yes, the ending as well.

Because Aziraphale never wanted to go to Heaven, and he never wanted to go there without Crowley.

But it was Crowley who taught him that he could, even SHOULD, act when his moral heart told him something was wrong. While Crowley was willing to run away and let the world burn, it was Aziraphale (in that bandstand at the end of the world) who stood his ground and said No. We can make a difference. We can save everyone.

And Aziraphale knew he could not give up the ace up his sleeve (his position as an angel) to talk to God and make them see the truth in his heart.

I was messed up by Ineffable Bureaucracy (Boxfly) getting their happy ending when our Ineffable Husbands didn’t, but I see now that them running away served to prove something to Aziraphale. (And I am fully convinced that Gabriel and Beelzebub saw the example of the Ineffables at the Not-pocalypse and took inspiration from them for choosing to ditch their respective sides)

But my point is that Aziraphale saw them, and in some ways, they looked like him and Crowley. And he saw how Gabriel, the biggest bully in Heaven, was also like him in a way (a being capable of love) and also just a child when he wasn’t influenced by the poison of Heaven. Muriel, too, wasn’t a bad person. The Metatron also seemed to have grown more flexible with his morality (from Aziraphale's perspective). Like Earth, Heaven was shades of (light?) gray.

Aziraphale is too good an angel not to believe in hope. Or forgiveness (something he’s very good at it).

Aziraphale has been scarred by Heaven all his life. But with the cracks in Heaven’s armor (cracks he and Crowley helped create), Aziraphale is seeing something else. A chance to change them. They did terrible things to him, but he is better than them, and because of Crowley, he feels ready to face them.

(Will it work? Can Heaven change, institutionally? Probably not, but I can't blame Aziraphale for trying.)

At the cafe, the Metatron said something big was coming in the Great Plan. Aziraphale knows how trapped he had felt when he didn’t have God’s ear the first time something huge happened in the Big Plan. He can’t take a chance again to risk the world by not having a foot in the door of Heaven. That’s why we saw individual human deaths (or the threat of death) so much more this season: Elspeth, Wee Morag, Job’s children, the 1940s magician. Aziraphale almost killed a child when he couldn’t get through to God, and he’s not going through that again.

“We could make a difference.” We could save everyone.

Remember what Michael Sheen said about courage and doing good––and having to “look the dark in the face to be truly good.” That’s what happened when Aziraphale was willing to go to Hell for his actions. That’s what happened when he decided he had to go to Heaven, where he had been abused and belittled and made to feel small. He decided to willingly go into the Lion’s Den, to face his abusers and his anxiety, to make them better so that they would not try to destroy the world again.

Him, just one angel. He needed Crowley to be there with him, to help him be brave, to ask the questions that Heaven needed to hear, to tell them God was wrong. Crowley is the inspiration that drives Aziraphale’s change, Crowley is the engine that fuels Aziraphale’s courage.

But then Crowley tells him that going to Heaven is stupid. That they don’t need Heaven. And he’s right. Aziraphale knows he’s right.

Aziraphale doesn’t need Heaven; Heaven needs him. They just don’t know how much they need him, or how much humanity needs him there, too. (If everyone who ran for office was corrupt, how can the system change?)

Terry Pratchett (in the Discworld book, Small Gods) is scathing of God, organized religion, and the corrupt people religion empowers, but he is sympathetic to the individual who has real, pure faith and a good heart. In fact, the everyman protagonist of Small Gods is a better person than the god he serves, and in the end, he ends up changing the church to be better, more open-minded, and more humanist than god could ever do alone.

Aziraphale is willing to go to the darkest places to do the Right Thing, and Heaven is no exception. When Crowley says that Heaven is toxic, that’s exactly why Aziraphale knows he needs to go there. “You’re exactly is different from my exactly.”

____

In the aftermath of Trump's election in the US, Brexit happened in 2018. Michael Sheen felt compelled to figure out what was going on in his country after this shock. But he was living in Los Angeles with Sarah Silverman at the time, and she also wanted to become more politically active in the US.

Sheen: “I felt a responsibility to do something, but it [meant] coming back [to Britain] – which was difficult for us, because we were very important to each other. But we both acknowledge that each of us had to do what we needed to do.” In the end, they split up and Michael moved back to the UK.

Sometimes doing the Right Thing means sacrificing your own happiness. Sometimes it means going to Hell. Sometimes it means going to Heaven. Sometimes it means losing a relationship.

And that’s why what happened in the end was so difficult for Aziraphale. Because he loves Crowley desperately. He wants to be together. He wanted that kiss for thousands of years. He knows that taking command of Heaven means they would never again have to bow to the demands of a God they couldn’t understand, or run from a Hell who still came after them. They could change the rules of the game.

And he’s still going to do that. But it hurts him that he has to do that alone.

[yeostars]

𓆩♡𓆪 ateez as girl dads / boy dads / or both ;) imo !! {Hyung line ver.}

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Hongjoong- both .ᐟ

I swear, i spent 15 minutes thinking how hongjoong would be a perfect girl AND boy dad.

Like, imagine hongjoong and his s/o have fraternal twins- aka both boy and girl twins. My man would be the happiest dad alive, proud to be the father of two lovely kids, having the best of both worlds.

Something that hongjoong loves the most about his two kiddos is how they are the literal carbon copies of both him and his s/o. Like his baby girl resembles hongjoong and baby boy resembles his mom. He finds that interesting and funny how the twins are literally mini versions of the parents.

Hongjoong, being the fashionista he is, absolutely LOVES dressing up your twins in matching clothes. Everytime he goes shopping with his s/o, he makes sure that every single clothing for both the twins is matching atleast in some way- same pattern, colour, etc.

Takes tons of pics with his kiddos wearing matching clothes. Nearly cries over how adorable his twins look and makes it a mission to make them his little fashionistas & gives them a sense of clothes & their pairings at an early age. Patting their heads in an endearing way is something that is so natural to him.

Expect him to buy matching tees with his s/o too, and sometimes even buy the same printed tee for all four members in the fam, and hang a family photo with the same in your living room. He's blessed to have such a perfect family ^^

Seonghwa- girl dad .ᐟ

See, i always had this vision of hwa being the sweetest girl dad...like, i can definitely imagine him being on cloud nine when he learns that him and his s/o were going to be parents to a baby girl. Literally is more excited and worried about the birth of their baby girl more than his s/o itself. CHEEK!KISSES!TO!HIS!DAUGHTER!ARE!A!MUST!

He's the gentlest and most patient dad ever. he would let her do whatever she wants, would let her do makeup on him and apply nail polish to his nails in the messiest way, while his s/o couldn't stop laughing on how funny hwa looked and high-fived her daughter for making her dad look like a clown. Hwa would be laughing himself, saying that your daughter wouldn't be a small child forever and that he wants her to have a playful and memorable childhood.

When his daughter grows up, she would literally feel like she has two moms. NO SERIOUSLY. hwa acts like a mom more than his s/o itself. literally taught his daughter about cleaning and its importance since she was a mere toddler, was more stressed about her growing up and puberty problems more than the daughter itself.

My conclusion is that hwa would be such a perfect girl dad >< A dad with the traits of both mom and dad. His daughter turns out to be a carbon copy of her dad, no kidding

Yunho- boy dad .ᐟ

GUYS. just hear me out. Yunho's s/o would literally feel like having two Yunho's around in the house after their son is born. One is Yunho itself and another one is baby yuyu aka mini yunho. Yunho literally has heart eyes for his son :(

What Yunho finds the most adorable is when his son tries to copy every single thing Yunho does. When he notices that his son tries to copy every little thing he does, he realizes that he needs to set up a good example for his son, and takes it as a opportunity to teach him basic hygiene and good manners slowly. He's quite successful at that task and his s/o would be impressed and happy that Yunho is doing a great job at parenting.

The most playful dad ever. He encourages his son to indulge in outdoor activities and play sports since a young age, so that his son turns out to be a fit and happy kid.

His s/o notices how their son turned out to be a little ray of sunshine in their lives, just like Yunho himself. Yunho raised his son to be a bright, cheerful kid and his s/o taught him to be patient and caring. Don't be surprised to see him quietly crying in the corner whenever his son does something to make him proud. Actually, anything thay his son does makes him proud :)

Yeosang- girl dad .ᐟ

I would say that its the end of discussion, atleast for me that yeo is a girl dad 😭 he just radiates such girl dad energy its insane- i feel like he'd be quite similar to how hwa is as a girl dad. He'd be just as patient and caring and sweet as him. He never fails to take care of both his s/o and their daughter after she was born. He feels like both their responsibility is now on him, and he never fails to make both of them feel loved and cared for.

Yeosang is the best dad ever. At first, he'd be a little clueless as to how to be a good parent to a baby girl, but as time passed, he feels like all his efforts and hard work paid off when his daughter grows up and calls him "the best daddy ever". Happiest dad to a lovely baby girl.

I can't miss out on the fact about how yeo would love to show off his daughter's skills and achievements ever since she was a little baby to everyone, including his & your parents and his members. He'd be like "That's my baby girl everyone, look at how talented she is."

Forehead kisses while saying good night are a must. Although he isn't someone who initiates physical affection, he loves to do small things such as holding his daughter's hand, patting her head & giving her forehead and cheek kisses whenever he can.

He loves to style his daughter's hair into plaits or something mildly fancy. He loves such quiet moments where he can take care of his daughter and cherishes every moment where spends time with her :(

[claudemblems]

A Kiss to End All Doubt | Albert Moriarty

Summary: When you agreed to tag along with the Moriarty brothers to a grand ball, the last thing you expected was to receive a noble's offer of marriage. Thankfully, Albert plays the part of your lover well, perhaps a little too well for his affectionate words to be fake...

Content: SFW. Fem!Reader. 3,723 words. Pining. Soooo much romantic tension. Albert is a flirt and no one is surprised.

Notes: I have been writing this fic for what feels like forever BUT IT'S FINALLY FINISHED :3 I'm so excited to finally give this to you. I hope you enjoy it 💖 I may also add an epilogue if there's an interest for one...🤭

Did Albert Moriarty, one of the many faces of the Lord of Crime, truly not have the slightest idea of the effect he had on you?

It was silly to even fathom that a man of his stature could be so oblivious, but you couldn’t help but start to wonder once he started giving your flushed cheeks and wide eyes a quizzical look.

That, or he was playing coy with you, which wouldn’t be all that surprising coming from him. He’d long since mastered the art of making noble ladies go weak in the knees.

But that was a skill he’d acquired out of pure necessity. If he had things his way, he’d refuse to give the stuck up women of the nobility the time of day. Unfortunately, he had a role to play in all of his brother’s plans, and so he continued flirting with the noble ladies just long enough to leave them wanting more.

You, on the other hand, were no noble. In fact, you had no good fortune, distinguished education, or marriageable prospects to speak of. Truly, you were nothing but a mere face hidden amongst the shadows, which was perfect for an assistant to the Lord of Crime.

You’d begun to empathize with Albert’s disdain for these royal functions, mainly the lavish balls he and his brothers had little choice but to attend. It was important for them to keep up appearances as a well-rounded noble family who knew how to mingle with the upper-class, whether they enjoyed doing so or not. While they seemed to have gotten used to it for the most part, it proved to be quite the difficult adjustment for you. Thankfully, Albert had patiently taught you the ins and outs of noble life, giving you lessons on small talk and etiquette whenever time permitted.

However, he hadn’t yet taught you how to handle a nobleman’s advances.

“You must be Lady [Name],” the man greeted, holding out his hand for you to take. You briefly glanced towards Albert, taking his nod as a sign to follow through with the gesture. A kiss was placed onto your hand before the man let go, stepping back to better admire the exquisite sights around him. “It’s quite a splendid ball, isn’t it? There’s so many well-mannered and intelligent guests in our midst, such as you, young Lord Albert.”

“Lord Darnley, you are far too kind,” Albert said, placing a hand over his heart and bowing. “I ought to be extending the compliments to you. Your presence here is most welcome, as well as that of your entourage. Would the girl you brought with you happen to be your little sister, Lady Georgina?”

“Ah, I see you’ve made sure to memorize the names of all the guests! Indeed, she insisted on joining me, and no matter what I said, she refused to take no for an answer!” Darnley bellowed in laughter, briefly drawing the attention of the other guests nearby.

“She already seems to be quite the free spirit. I’m sure she has a bright future ahead of her.”

“If you’re so interested in my dear Georgina, I would be more than willing to sit down and discuss a potential marriage between the two of you.”

You swore you saw a flash of disgust appear in Albert’s eyes, but he simply smiled brightly at Darnley, careful that his emotions did not look fake or contrived. “While your offer is certainly generous, I have no plans of marriage at the moment. I’m afraid I’m already plenty busy with my service in the royal army.”

“Ah, what a shame,” Lord Darnley sighed, but his disappointment quickly turned to anticipation when his gaze once again fell on you. Your stomach lurched at the look in his eyes, but you tried to retain your composure, copying Albert’s mannerisms by offering a surface-level smile.

“Lady [Name], I am supposing you are not yet married if you’re attending this function with the Moriartys.”

“That would be correct, my good sir. How astute of you to notice.”

Lord Darnley grinned at the news like a hunter mere moments away from ensnaring this prey. “Well then, my lady, is there anyone that has asked for your hand yet?”

Goosebumps ran down your arms as you swallowed thickly. Anyone with a right mind knew exactly where this conversation was heading.

“I…well…” Should you tell the truth? Should you lie? But then who would you say had expressed a desire in marrying you? “It’s…complicated.”

“So, that would mean no formal question has been posed then, correct?”

“...Correct.”

You heard Albert’s feet shift next to you, on guard for whatever preposterous idea this nobleman could come up with next.

“Well, it’s certainly not good for a lady of your standing to be without a husband. I, myself, am quite the romantic, and I believe a courting period fosters a genuine love between both parties involved. If you have no one currently vying for your hand, perhaps you’d offer me the chance to earn it.”

No. No. On so many levels, no.

But this wasn’t about you—your happiness or married life did not come before the liberation of London. Whatever the brothers asked of you, you would adhere to their words, even if it meant having to be stuck with a man such as…this. Though you knew they’d never even entertain the thought of offering you up to some man who cared only for your beauty and status and nothing for your heart. If you were to refuse Darnley’s advances, at the least, you were confident the Moriartys would respect your decision.

Even so, you didn’t want to cause any more trouble for them. If you couldn’t agree to the idea of marriage, perhaps a date or two would suffice, right?

Just the thought made you feel sick. 

“Well, what do you say, my lady? Will you allow me the pleasure of courting you?”

You knew you had to keep up appearances. You couldn’t allow for cracks to show in the perfect and amicable facade the Moriartys had carefully crafted. You knew that well, and yet…

This was a proposal that not even death itself could bring you to accept.

“I’m sorry, my lord, but I must sincerely refuse.”

Lord Darnley stared at you in alarm. “Come again? You didn’t just say no to my advances, did you?”

Your heart rate quickened as his words grew heated, and in that moment you wanted nothing more than to take off and hide somewhere safe and quiet in the manor’s garden, away from other people who might come up with even more ridiculous propositions.

“It’s just as you heard, my lord. I must decline.”

An uncomfortable silence hung in the air as Lord Darnley stared straight into your eyes, not blinking for several long moments. Your hands had begun to shake as you feared that you’d just begun tarnishing the reputation of the Moriarty family. Truly, there were fewer things more terrifying than a nobleman who felt he’d been insulted, and the consequences for such an offense would be nothing short of dire.

“Lady [Name], you are in no place to refuse my offer. You said yourself that no other man has even brought up the idea of marriage to you! Are you truly so brazen that you would reject the prospects of a life in union with mine? We all know who makes the decisions around here, and they’re certainly not made by women—!”

“My good sir, I believe you’ve said quite enough.”

A small gasp left your lips as Albert sneaked a hand around your waist, still carefully holding his glass of wine in the other. You searched his face for an answer as to what he was scheming, but he simply smiled—a true one this time—wordlessly reassuring you that all would be well.

“You see, Lady [Name] may not have received an offer of marriage as of yet, but that is only because I have been quite busy protecting our beloved country. I wish to propose when I am able to be at home more often and thus can fulfill my duties as a devoted husband to my wife. So I must politely ask that you rescind your offer, lest you make yourself seem as though you chase after taken women.”

Propose? Husband?

If you were afraid of tainting the Moriarty image, Albert clearly didn’t share your concerns.

“Taken? Why, I—! You’re bluffing, Lord Albert! You’re not planning on marrying this woman!”

“And what has brought you to that incorrect conclusion?”

“If that were the case, you would have brought it up the moment I asked if she were single!”

“To be fair, you asked if she’d received an offer for marriage, not if she was currently available to court.”

You could practically see the steam coming out of Lord Darnley’s ears, his face growing redder with each passing minute. He was still unconvinced, and for good reason, too, but you weren’t about to let Albert’s kindness go to waste.

You placed a hand on Albert’s shoulder, smiling up at him as he redirected his full attention to you. “It’s true, my lord. My affections have been reciprocated by my dear Albert, and I am patiently waiting for him to ask me to marry him. It will be a proposal I shall readily accept.”

Darnley scoffed, a hand placed over his heart in disbelief. “And you had the gall not to tell me when I’d begun to question you? Either you’re a terrible liar, or you’re just hoping to humiliate me in front of all these guests!”

“I would never dream of deceiving or insulting you, my lord. I should have made my relationship status clear to you earlier. Please forgive my carelessness.”

“I still think this is some elaborate hoax the both of you are trying to pull off. If not to tarnish my good name, then to convince every noble here that you’re worth the status bestowed on you at birth.” Lord Darnley swiped a fresh glass of wine off the tray of one of the waiters walking by, the man watching in horror as the lord downed all of the liquid in one gulp. His cheeks had started to take on a flushed hue from the great amount of alcohol he’d consumed that night, and with the way things were going, he was sure to be drunk by the end of it. “Perhaps, Lady [Name],” Darnley continued, a lopsided smirk forming on his face, “you’ve been lying about your social status, and you’re hoping that your marriage to Lord Albert will secure you a place in the upper class.”

Anger surged through you at his utterly ridiculous theory. Darnley had unknowingly gotten one fact right: you were a nobody. When you’d been taken in by the Moriarty family, you had nothing to your name but pen, paper, and the clothes on your back. But you knew one thing for sure: you had worth as a human being, and no one, noble or otherwise, would be able to change that.

And marrying a noble for status? What a laughable suggestion. As if you’d stoop so low just for some so-called “honor” among the elite.

“Well, dear sir,” you began, discreetly hiding a smirk behind your gloved hand, “I had no idea you were so foolish as to even come up with such an inconceivable thought. I once held you in high regard as I’ve heard many within the nobility sing your praises, but your current behavior is quite unbecoming of a person of your stature.”

You heard Albert try, and fail, to stifle a laugh next to you. You quietly breathed out a sigh of relief to see that he’d chosen not to reprimand your strong words. If anything, he seemed eager to encourage them.

As Lord Darnley frantically signaled for a waiter to bring him more wine, Albert took the opportunity to lean down next to your ear, whispering a simple yet heart-pounding question, “[Name], would it be all right with you to play further into these roles of enchanted lovers?”

Your breath caught in your throat, butterflies beginning to form in your stomach. “Of course,” you said. If only you knew how I truly felt, you wouldn’t even need to ask.

He smiled down at you, a sight that only stirred up the butterflies even more, and pulled you closer against him. Meanwhile, his eyes bored into Lord Darnley’s frame, darkening with every passing moment. If there was no one else in that ballroom, you had no doubt Albert would have leapt at the chance to get rid of him.

When Lord Darnley had finished downing another glass of wine, his fiery countenance returned to you and Albert. “You both are frauds,” he spat. “Everyone else here might be too dim-witted to figure it out, but I’ll make them aware that you’re not the upstanding moral characters you believe that you are.”

“It’s a shame to hear such vile thoughts coming from your own mouth, good sir,” Albert sighed. “But if I must be honest, I don’t care what any noble in this room thinks of me or the house in which I rule over.”

“Oh? And why is that, good sir?”

“Because,” Albert answered, turning his body towards yours, his visage noticeably softening when his focus returned to you, “the only person I want to please is the woman I adore. Not one person in the nobility is worthy of praise or merit—no one but her alone.”

Setting aside his glass, Albert gingerly took your hand in his own, meeting your eyes to silently ask for your permission. At your nod of approval, he lifted your fingertips to his lips, placing a gentle and almost reverent kiss against them.

“I love her,” he said, his sweet gaze reaching the very depths of your soul, “and when the time is right, I will make her mine.”

His words were like a match igniting the fire blazing in your heart, the flames fed by your deep affections for him, growing with every beat that thumped in your chest.

Your breath caught in your throat as his hand came to rest against your cheek, his touch so light yet so dizzying, more intoxicating than any wine you’d had that night. 

Albert searched your eyes as all the feelings you’d tried to keep at bay finally came pouring in like waves. You were sure he could see it all: the admiration, the yearning, the love you’d kept locked away. But somehow he’d managed to find the matching key, the truth you’d been hiding for all these years finally at his reach.

His fingers traveled along your cheek and down to your jaw, this thumb tracing patterns against your skin. You were still dazed from his words to Darnley, but you brought yourself to meet Albert’s gaze once more, curious to see what truths you could uncover in his own expression.

And you wished you hadn’t, because when you saw the affection so clearly present in them, you wanted nothing more than to throw yourself into his arms and kiss him until the night turned into day.

Albert wasn’t oblivious, and you knew it. Whatever people thought of him as—a genius, a young prodigy, a man of great knowledge—his ability to read people was beyond the average person’s comprehension. And you knew when he’d finally figured out what the person he’d been surveying was hiding. His lips would quirk upwards ever so slightly, the dimples on his face just beginning to show, and he’d cock his head to the side, pleased with his findings.

And that was exactly how he was looking at you.

You’d placed your heart out in plain view of his observant eyes, and he’d figured you out. But now that he knew of your feelings for him, what was he planning to do with them?

Albert’s thumb drifted from your jaw down your lips, careful not to brush off the lipstick staining them. He stared at them for several moments, deep in thought, before he returned his eyes to yours, a single question hidden within them.

May I?

Already breathless, you squeezed his hand once, closing your eyes as Albert leaned in painstakingly slowly, every nerve in your body alight with anticipation. This was the moment you’d only been able to imagine in dreams, on nights where you sat wordlessly under the stars, silently wishing upon them in vain. They couldn’t grant you your desires. They couldn’t give you everything you ever wanted. You were the only one with the power to seize your opportunity and make your own wish come true.

And as Albert’s lips finally fell on yours, you smiled.

Your greatest wish was being granted right before your very eyes.

His lips tasted faintly of wine, and the subdued scent of his cologne still lingered on his collar. Combined with the warm and comforting touch of his hand cupping your face, your senses were overwhelmed in the most wonderful of ways. It felt as if you’d begun to float, brought into a fairy tale-esque trance where the entire world grew still except for you and Albert.

Time had stalled to allow you this moment of pure, undeniable bliss that not even the corrupt powers of this world could take away from you.

With his lips still on yours, Albert’s hand snaked further around your waist, gently pulling you closer against him. You practically had no room left between the two of you, and so in a moment of boldness, you placed one hand on his shoulder, the other on his chest, right above his heart. Even through his suit, you could feel it beating wildly.

It only made you wonder: did he truly mean what he’d said earlier? Did he really harbor such affection for you? Did he really intend…to make you his?

Before you could ponder anymore, Albert finally pulled away, cheeks faintly dusted with rose. He appeared somewhat dazed himself, but he kept his composure, still well aware of where the two of you were at the moment.

But this time when he turned to Darnley, he smirked, practically beaming from head to toe with delight as he spoke. “Well, Lord Darnley, do you believe us now?”

If looks could kill, both of you would have succumbed to that man’s rage.

Darnley’s hands gripped his wine glass so tightly that it shattered onto the floor, the remnants of wine staining his once perfectly polished suit. Other nobles stopped their conversations and turned to him upon hearing the commotion, a few of them even pulling out handkerchiefs.

“Sir, let me get you a new glass,” a waiter spoke, holding his hand out to take the broken one from him. But Lord Darnley was already fuming, and he shoved the waiter to the side, smashing the rest of the wine glass against the floor.

“You will pay for this,” he snarled. Sending you one final glare, he turned on his heel, marching out of the ballroom, hopefully never to be seen again (at least for the night).

“Well,” Albert breathed, laughing as he ran a hand through his hair, “I don’t think he’ll be bothering us anymore.”

“You’re right…Thank you, Albert.”

“What are you thanking me for?” he asked, gaze drifting back to yours. “I’ve done nothing to warrant your gratitude.”

You shook your head. “You have, Albert. You didn’t have to step in and save me from Darnley’s advances, but you did, even though doing so could have tarnished your family name. I’m indebted to you.”

Albert frowned ever so slightly, and you cocked your head to the side, confused. After a few moments, his gaze flickered to the people dancing around the room, his cheeks still tinged a beautiful red. “If you thought I was doing all that just to be a gentleman,” he murmured, “then I don’t know what it would take to make the truth clear to you...”

Well, suddenly you were the one left blushing. 

“It’s not that. I…I don’t want to assume anything more, not when you’re such a precious person to me. I’m just scared of ruining what we have between us.”

Albert turned his attention back to you, using the hand that was still on your waist to pull you close to him again. Taking your other hand in his, he lifted it up to his lips, your faces now just mere inches apart.

“And what if I were to say that I do want something more?”

You almost wanted to pinch yourself to make sure it wasn’t all a dream.

But you still felt the press of his lips against yours, took in the smell of his cologne, and memorized the touch of his fingers running along your cheek. It was not a dream. It was even better.

Albert leaned down next to your ear, his breath fanning against your skin. “If one kiss isn’t enough to convey how much my heart yearns for you, then allow me to kiss you until you’re breathless, and no more words of doubt are left on your tongue.”

Albert smiled as your face grew redder, and with the way he bit his lip, you knew he was struggling not to comment on it.

“For a noble, you sure lack any semblance of shame, Master Albert."

Albert shook his head and chuckled to himself, that mischievous glint having once again returned to his eyes. “Keep teasing me and you’ll find out just how shameless I can be, darling.”

“Is that a threat or a promise?”

“Do you want to find out?”

Despite your flustered state, you couldn’t help but laugh, squeezing Albert’s hand tighter in yours. “If you want to kiss me so badly, do so in a place that’s actually romantic, will you?”

Taking you by the hand, Albert began to lead you outside of the ballroom and into the rose gardens. “Of course, and I’ll take my time to make sure I kiss you properly.”

You made a mental note to thank William and Louis for letting you tag along to the ball. If all went well, they would end up becoming your own brothers-in-law, after all.

But that could wait until you finally had Albert’s affections all to yourself.

[rpstartersinc]

* 𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐓𝐎𝐍 𝐒𝟑: 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟏.

feel free to change pronouns / wording! potential spoilers!

" we have been apart for far too long. "

" seems as though your business is thriving. "

" there's no need to shout. "

" you've gotten rather good. "

" do you not wish to greet me? "

" i was nowhere and everywhere. "

" the lack of interest here today shall usher me to an early grave at any moment. "

" i simply could use some peace. "

" the truth has a way of rearing its ugly head. "

" i take it you are finally done with daydreaming? "

" do you find yourself back in town for any particular reason? in search of something or... someone? "

" i do not wish to see a citrus colour, ever again. "

" you have never been one for silly romances. "

" a man cannot tell his secrets. "

" i have kept your secret exactly because i do not wish to keep revisiting the past. "

" i must make a good impression. "

" i wonder what whistledown will write about next issue. "

" what a striking gown you have on. "

" i should like a moment alone. "

" once one finds oneself on the wall, it is difficult to come off it. "

" you do not much like attracting notice, do you? "

" it is a pity you did not choose something sturdier. "

" if you are going to make me say it out loud, i miss you. "

" what you did was cruel, and unnecessary. "

" i'm sorry for intruding. "

" it pains me to see you upset. "

" if a husband is what you seek, then... let me help you. "

" what i have learned is that charm can be taught. "

" i do love a game, especially when i am so often the victor. "

" i do not fear change, i embrace it. "

" i do not care what lady whistledown writes about me. "

" i should like to see your skills as they are, first. "

" i suggest you make good use of it. "

" you agree, i am unteachable. "

" you already know how to do this. "

" it is impossible to be in society and not care what others think. "

" do you think me a magician? "

" we needed a place to be alone. "

" you don't have to be embarrassed, you know me. "

" that's exactly why i will feel even more embarrassed, because i know you. "

" somehow my character gets lost between my heart and my mouth, and i find myself saying the wrong thing or more likely nothing at all. "

" your eyes are the most remarkable shade of blue. yet, somehow, they shine even brighter when you are kind. "

" your writing... it is very good. "

" they've taken to hunting in packs. "

" you know, whenever i have a disagreement with an acquaintance, i find the best course of action is simply to pretend they are dead. "

" talents? no. unless you consider a knack for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time a talent. "

" now i can stuff my mouth with chocolates without fear of appearing impolite. "

" i do not much care for idle gossip. "

" i think i am somehow afraid i will do something wrong. "

" despite the cover of night, there are still eyes upon us all at all times. "

" what is foolish is being unreasonable about what you can achieve. "

" men can often cause much more trouble than they are worth. "

" i bribed her to give us a minute alone. "

" a small taste of the light can lead to that most dangerous of emotions: hope. "

" once hope is lost, a lady may become reckless. "

" would you kiss me? "

" i do not wish to die without ever having been kissed. "

" i apologise for the late hour, but i had to see you, immediately. "

" you occupy my every thought. "

" you slept late. "

" i slept peacefully. "

" a week sequestered in your room, and you come down and you say this to me? "

" i noticed you have not been seen in society for some time. "

" i would certainly rather be predator than prey. "

" i think i see a corner in which to hide myself. "

" you must simply follow your heart. "

" it is the mark of a good man, to help a friend in need. "

" unfortunately, i require all pity for myself. "

" i find your frankness immensely refreshing. "

" is there some reason you are trying to escape civilisation? "

" we can do whatever we want. "

" i have heard a great deal about you. "

" that was a thrilling distraction, was it not? "

" it was a good thing no one was injured. "

" a man can be pensive, can he not? "

" i am in awe of your heroism. "

" some cannot help being heroes. "

" in need of some quiet? i have been in search of it all night. "

" perhaps we can enjoy the silence together. "

" well, then you have misjudged me. "

" i am not afraid of you. "

" courage is within us all. "

" as long as we are honest with ourselves and about our feelings, it is possible to do anything. "

" the person i was earlier today... i was pretending to be someone i am not. "

" how many yous are there, exactly? and where do you hide them all? "

" i have come to call on you. "

" i do not wish to be called on. "

" step another pace backwards, you read me too well. "

" i do not wish to interfere. "

" i cannot have you growing distracted. "

" i do not mind a stirring tale or a book of fact but, in truth i find myself drawn back time and time again to stories of... love. "

" i do not believe i have ever had a friend call to the house before. "

" a gentleman must keep some things to himself. "

" do not tell me you are holding out for love. "

" love is make-believe. "

" do you know what is romantic? security. "

" i am grateful to you, for keeping me company. "

" past lives are dangerous places to revisit. "

" if you need to keep your distance from me a while, i understand. "

" you are unlike many people. "

" i do not feel much like talking. "

" i am not a man of many words. "

" my work has such a large portion of my heart it may be difficult to make more space. "

" i cannot stand by and watch you make a mistake. "

" the only mistake was me ever asking for your help in the first place. "

" it is said that the heart is forever making the head its fool. "

" will you please let us ride home in silence and leave me alone. "

" what if i did have feelings for you? "

" i have spent so long trying to feel less. "

" these past few weeks have been full of confounding feelings, feelings like a total inability to stop thinking about you. "

" do not say things you do not mean. "

" do you think anyone saw us? "

" are you going to marry me or not? "

[familyvideostevie]

watching you with wonder

joel miller x reader joel claims to have heard something interesting. too bad he keeps insisting he needs more information before he can tell you | 5.4k a/n: same universe as come care about me but not necessary to read that one first! joel is soft, this is my version of him where he and ellie heal and he gets to have a life etc etc etc | domesticity, post-part i jackson au, joel is a flirt and a gossip but good thing you are too, a fair amount of kissing, fluff, softness, peace and all that good stuff. part 3 here! series masterlist here.

It's been a long day. The supply run you'd been dreading went off without a hitch but you were out of the gate at sun-up and in the saddle for most of the morning and afternoon. Your legs are sore, your back is sore,  and you're dirty from a day outside the walls.

You haven't seen Joel since this morning. Not unusual, not by any means. Most days you're both doing something in town, occasionally one of you out on patrol. You're partial to the plant work and Joel likes to chop wood or check out houses that need upgrades with Tommy. But after a day like today you want nothing more than to go home and complain about how much you miss cars while Joel works the knots out of your shoulders. 

But tonight is Festival Night. Nothing big, just a dance at the barn that serves as the community center with music and drinks and food. And Joel, despite his insistence that he's Jackson's resident grump, will be there, because Tommy will have asked him to go and he doesn't like disappointing his brother. And, though he'll never admit it even to you, he enjoys community events. He gets to see the people he loves having a nice time and feeling safe. 

So you head from the stables to the main hall, not bothering to stop at home. Jackson seems to be lit up extra special, the air a little lighter due to the laughter and music brightening the night. The noise becomes almost overwhelming when you open the door and slide inside, dropping your pack against the wall. It's much warmer in here and you unbutton your coat as you make your way through the crowd, waving to people as you go. 

Joel is here somewhere but you don't try too hard to spot him. You know he'll find you. Someone calls your name and you pivot on your heel to find Ellie waving at you from a...poker table?

"Wanna join?" she asks once you walk over. Next to her is Tommy, who looks significantly less excited than she does. "I'm teaching Tommy how to play poker. Oh, sorry, I'm fucking smoking Tommy at poker."

"I know how to play, you little shit," Tommy growls. "Who taught you? This isn't poker, this is a fuckin' massacre." 

Ellie cackles and tips her chair back so she's balancing on the back legs.

"I'll pass this round," you tell her. "Looks like you've got him handled."

"You just want to find Joel." She looks at you in that uncanny way of hers like she knows all of your secrets. But this is one you have no problem admitting.

You smile at her. "Seen him?"

"Now that you're here I'm sure he'll slink out of whatever corner he stuck himself in," Tommy grumbles. "Girl, you sure you ain't countin' cards?"

You leave them to it and wander over to the bar. Astrid pours you a glass of something amber. You take a sip and let the burn warm your throat, your stomach. The music behind you picks up and there's laughter and you turn to see people pairing up and flocking to the floor. 

You close your eyes to enjoy the sounds that mean peace, safety, home. It never gets old and you never quite get used to it. You inhale deep and -- ah, yes. There it is. A smile spreads across your face as you breathe in wood glue, gunpowder, the soap you make at home. Your heart beats a little faster, even after all this time.

"Hi," you say, opening your eyes. Joel stands in front of you, one hand in his pocket and the other holding a glass similar to your own. His hair curls at his collar, edges still a little wet from the shower he must have taken before coming here. His shirt is rolled to his elbows, his jacket clearly discarded somewhere. Your gaze trails up his chorded forearms, his watch securely in place as always. This is what you've called his "nice" shirt, a deep green that makes the grey of his beard all the more striking and brings out his eyes. 

Eyes that settle on you in a way that sends heat up your spine.

"Howdy," he says. "You just get here?"

"Like you weren't watching the door for me," you tease. He shrugs and reaches for you, his free hand curling around your hip to tug you close for just a few moments. Joel presses his lips to your cheek lightly, his beard scratching your skin as he pulls away and settles at your side, arm resting on the bar behind you. 

"Well, I ain't seen you all day," he reminds you. As if you could forget. Every second you're not looking at him you sort of wish you were. There aren't many good things left in your life -- all of them are in this town, now -- and you tend to hold on to the ones you still have with both hands. Joel, despite the fact that he'd argue with you over it, is your good thing. Your best thing.  

"Miss me?" 

"Dumb question," he mutters. 

His fingers brush against the back of your bicep, warm through your jacket. "How was the run?"

"Easy. Long." You take a sip of your drink. It's still warming but doesn't measure up to the solid warmth of the man beside you. "I came straight here."

"That would explain why you smell like shit," he drawls. You smack his chest. He doesn't so much as flinch.

"Rude."

Joel watches the crowd and you watch him. That's how it usually goes with you two. You figure he's watching for threats, for any sign of something going wrong. It's a habit most folks here find hard to break. He's watching Ellie, who has left the poker table behind, twirl some of the children around with Dina, he's watching Tommy try to teach a few drunk guys how to square dance like he does every Festival. Joel curls his hand around your shoulder and you lean back into the touch. 

On a night like tonight when joy is more contagious than the fungus spreading through the rotting world, Joel loosens up a little. It's a good look on him and it only ever means good things for you -- he laughs more, he touches you more. But most importantly you know he lets life in. He lets that knot you know is in his chest, the one made of fear and loss and survival and all of the horrible fucked up things he's seen and done, he lets it loosen even just a bit. He lets himself feel the good things, too. How much the people in this town respect him, care about him. How much they appreciate him. How much they love him, how much you love him.

You look at him in the soft light of the barn. There's a tug to his mouth that you know.

He looks smug. It's a nice look on him, a relaxed one. He looks too handsome for his own good. And though you love him, love how he's enjoying the night, like hell you're going to let him stand there and get away with whatever he's cooking up.

"Joel Miller, why are you looking so pleased with yourself?"

"No reason," he says. He takes another sip of his drink, side-eyeing you over the rim. This man. 

You tap the heel of your boot against his. "Don't make me beg."

His eyes flash but he turns into your space, the solid shape of him curling around you as well as his arm. In another world, in another life, he could be a handsome man picking you up at a bar. 

"I heard somethin'," he says, voice low. "Somethin'...interestin'."

"Really?" You look around the barn as if the object of his gossip will materialize in front of you. "Tell me."

He leans back and you have to stop yourself from following. "Don't think so."

"Joel."

This man can be such a shit when he wants to be. 

He holds the hand carrying his glass up in surrender, the brown liquor sloshing close to the rim. "Hey now, don't go shootin' the messenger."

"I can't because he won't tell me the message."

"S'not anything worth tellin' just yet," he drawls. "I need a little more intel. Y'know, make it worth your while."

You sigh, hamming it up a bit by thunking your forehead to his collar. Joel huffs a laugh and fully drapes his arm across your shoulders, warm and solid. 

It's all fun but you know there's a note of truth to it. Joel can lie better than most people but he doesn't lie to you. "Fine. You get away with it for now."

The song changes to something old and slow, something you recognize but don't quite remember the name of.

"Only if you dance with me," you say. You swallow the last of your drink and push off the bar, sliding out from under his arm. You hold your hand out to him and wiggling your fingers. "It's only fair."

He sighs like a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders. And he is, sometimes. But right now his cheeks are a little flushed from the drink and your flirting and you want to see how far you can take it.

"Unless I smell too much like shit," you goad. You don't actually think he'll go for it. Joel doesn't dance. It feels like the kind of good time, the kind of joy that is forever stuck in the past, left behind twenty odd years ago. Honestly, you think he'll just drag you home and have his way with you in your warm bed. 

But he manages to surprise you.

Joel throws back his drink and grabs your hand. His thumb strokes your skin.

"S'pose it is," he says. "You don't smell that bad."

A delighted laugh spills from you. He leads you to the already-crowded dance floor, pulling you close with a hand on your back. You rest your arm on his broad shoulder and hook your thumb in his collar. 

"Not so bad, is it?" you say. Your faces are so close you're practically cheek to cheek. You feel his breath on the shell of your ear, his beard a little prickly against your cheek. 

"Could be worse." You and Joel gently sway and you toy with the ends of his hair. Over his shoulder you can see Dina and Ellie dancing, arms wrapped around each other tight. You close your eyes and match your breaths to Joel's. 

"We should do this more often," you say. "Bet they'd let you play guitar at the next festival if you wanted."

Joel hums. 

"Don't forget you have to deliver the firewood to the school tomorrow." He presses his hand to your back and pulls you even closer. "Are you listening to me?"

"Mhm."

"Joel --" Your eyes fly open and you try to pull away to goad him but he holds you steadily against him.

"Hush," he says, fingers squeezing yours. "I'm enjoyin' the moment."

You allow it.

___

The gossip Joel mentioned is in the back of your mind but you know he'll tell you when he's satisfied with his information gathering or whatever the fuck he's up to. Sure, it's silly, maybe even pointless but you like to think of it as a display of the trust you have in each other. You trust Joel with your life and you've put that into practice, watched him bloody his knuckles for the ones he loves. You also trust him with your heart, your body, your mind. There's no part of you that his hands haven't touched, haven't loved in the jagged, intense way of his. 

Plus you enjoy seeing him pleased with himself, which you know he will be once he has the whole story to tell you. It's not a mood you see on him often.

You finally have a free night and Ellie asks you to come over to try out a new video game Jesse found for her on patrol. Joel waves you off when you offer to stay in with him instead.

"Means I'll get some peace and quiet to finish my book," he grumbles, handing you your coat even though you're walking across the yard. He's already peeled off his boots and looks half-awake in the dim light of your entryway, glasses tucked into the collar of his sweater.

"More like you're going to sit in bed and fall asleep reading without me talking to keep you awake."

He sends you off with an eye roll and a soft kiss which you turn into two more, just because. Maybe a few years ago he'd sit in the chair downstairs and wait for you to come home. He does like to play his guitar on the porch when it's not too cold, keep an eye on things. But you'll be with Ellie just out back and it's been a long week. It's no small point of pride that, with the help of your reassurance and persistent care and his own conviction, Joel allows himself to relax a little. "Have fun."

You do. Ellie and Joel have a history that is complex and tender, so much so that sometimes it's too much for both of them. After it seemed like she was open to it, you've tried to make sure you and her have a relationship all your own. She's smart and funny and fiercely loyal to the people she cares about. You feel lucky to be one of them.

But she still annihilates your ass when it comes to video games. 

"You know," she says, cracking her knuckles after yet another defeat. "It's embarrassing as shit how you literally lived in a time where you could play these like, whenever you wanted. And yet it's me, who was born after the world ended, who keeps winning."

You make sure to look unamused. "Whatever." You stand, stretching out your spine with your arms above your head and yawn. "It's teenage luck." You have no idea how this girl stays up so late all the time. 

"I guess I'm just good at everything."

"Oh, you sure about that?" She hands you your coat and tugs on the strings of her sweatshirt. "I've seen you in a kitchen. You might want to rethink that one."

"Psh," she says, waving you off. "Who needs to cook, anyway?"

You slide into your boots and shake your head. "I'm actually shocked Dina puts up with you." 

"Hey, fuck you!" she cries, though she's hiding a smile. "No insulting me in my own home. It's Joel's fault, anyway. He can't cook either."

You snort. "Don't I know it." She grins at you fully, the one you call her shark-tooth smile, and you grin back. "Thanks for this, kiddo. I had fun." 

"Yeah, maybe one day you'll win." You tug her in for a quick hug which she allows before squirming away. "Alright, alright. Go make sure he didn't burn down the house without you, or something."

It's late, late enough that you feel yourself getting more tired with each step back to the porch. Joel left the back door unlocked for you. You latch the deadbolt behind you and peel off your outer layers in the dark. A quick glance in the kitchen tells you Joel put your stuff from dinner away and is probably in bed. He's left out your mugs, ready for the morning, and the list he's been making of things you need to do around the house before it snows. You love to see the pieces of your life on display like this -- signs that this is a home.

You don't bother being quiet when you climb up the stairs because you know he'll be pissed if you don't wake him to let him know you're home. The bedroom light is on but when you actually go in you see he's in bed with his book in his lap, glasses sliding down his nose. His eyes are closed and his bare chest rises slowly.

He's probably only half-asleep, probably heard you come in and decided it was safe enough to shut his eyes until you say something. So you get ready for bed quickly, tugging on soft clothes and brushing your teeth before creeping over to his side of the bed and perching on the edge of it, resting your hand on his thigh under the covers.

"Joel," you say softly. "Joel, are you asleep?"

"Yes," he grumbles. His eyes flutter open, the piercing grey a little clouded with tiredness. He reaches for his glasses and pulls them from his face a bit clumsily. "You okay? You n'Ellie have fun?"

"We did. She's so good at video games it's a little scary." You pluck the frames from his hand and fold them, setting them on his bedside table with his book. He grunts and pushes himself up a little more in bed, his leg pressing against your tailbone through the blankets. It's a real show of your restraint that you don't run your hands over the golden and hairy expanse of his chest, the broad line of his shoulders. Instead you reach for his face and he lets you, eyes crinkling at the corners as he tries and fails to hide his amusement as you trail your fingers through his hair. Just being here with him makes you a little sleepy, your body catching up with your mind at how you always feel safest when he's in the room with you. "S'cold, though. I think we might need to put some more insulation in the shed for her."

"Alright," he says. Joel wraps his fingers around your wrist and pulls your palm to his cheek but quickly flinches away. "Christ," he mutters. "Your hands are cold." He encases both of your hands in his and rubs slowly, throughly. 

"Let me get in bed, then." You make no effort to move. 

Joel blows on your fingers and, in a move that's tender even for him, presses his lips to their tips. "I ain't holdin' you here."

"Sarcasm," you say. "And Ellie claims you're not funny." Joel scoffs and you laugh, rising from his side of the bed and making your way around to yours. Joel flicks back the covers and you slide in, facing him. 

"Light off?" he asks. You nod. He shuffles around to flip the switch and then settles into his side with a groan. It's dark but you know his face with your eyes closed, let alone in the moonlight of your bedroom. The gash on the bridge of his nose, the scruff of his greying beard, the nicks along his cheeks and temples. The age spots, the wrinkles, the lines at the corners of his eyes and mouth, these days more from smiles and laughter than stress and worry. Or so you like to think. 

"Got any gossip for me yet?" 

Joel huffs. "Not quite."

"Jooooooel," you whine, scooting closer. You hook a leg over his and slide your hand over his stomach, fingers catching on the hair above the waistband of his sleep pants. He makes a noise deep in his throat but otherwise allows it. 

"I ain't givin' you half-assed information," he says. "It'll be worth the wait."

With Joel, it always is. You consider dragging it out a little more but you're cold and tired and he's so warm and you barely saw him at all today. "Alright," you say. You pull yourself even closer under the covers, dragging your nose over the hollow of his throat, his beard a delicious scratch on your skin. Your hand curls around his hip and he reaches for you on instinct, warm, callused palms sliding under your sleep shirt to press into your bare skin.

He huffs a tired laugh, chest rumbling with amusement. "What're you up to?"

"You're warm," you say into his skin.

"And you're handsy."

You trail your lips up to his and press them to the corner of his mouth. "You love it."

"Guess I do," Joel says. He catches you in a lazy, slow kiss, tongue tracing the seam of your lips until you part them. He licks into your mouth like he's got all the time in the world and you let him. His nose presses against yours and you sigh even further into the embrace, pressing as close as you can, as if you could crawl into him and stay there forever. Any cold lingering in your bones is dispelled by Joel's touch, by the thigh he wedges between your legs. This could turn into something more, and you love when it does, but tonight it's just about being close. His hand trails up your side to cup your face as the kisses get lazier, sleepier. You're slotting his bottom lip between yours when he pulls back and --

Yawns in your face. 

He looks a little surprised and then frowns. You laugh and smooth the crease between his brows before kissing him once more.

"Jesus, Joel," you say. "Bedtime."

"Was sleepin' fine before you got here," he grumbles, but  in the same breath he wraps his arm around you and tugs you with him as he turns onto his back so your head lays on his chest. You match your breaths to his. He presses a kiss to your hair.

___

Two nights later you wake to an empty bed. 

You sleepily trail your hand through the sheets and find they still carry Joel's warmth. He must have gotten up a few minutes ago. You force your eyes to open but don't see a light in the bathroom, find no shadow in your eyesight. You can hear his voice in your head saying go back to sleep, s'nothin' but you know better than to listen to him when it comes to this. It's not like you'll be able to until you know he's okay, anyway. 

So you wrap the blanket from the foot of your bed around yourself and shuffle through the house and down the stairs. 

"Joel?" you call quietly. 

"Kitchen," he replies, a warm grumble in the still of the night. You didn't even look at the clock when you got out of bed but it must be late. 

He sits in the dark at your small kitchen table, eyes fixed on Ellie's garage out back. He's put a shirt on. Of course. Nightmare. This is where he always sits after he has one. His hands are wrapped around his mug. Based on the smell it's chamomile tea -- the only time he'll drink it instead of coffee is on nights like tonight. He had no idea it even grew in the greenhouses here until you presented him with a jar of it for Ellie back when you were still tiptoeing around whatever was between you. Those days are long gone.

"You okay?" You keep your voice hushed. It's rare these days that he'll want to be alone. You're the only one who gets to see him like this other than Ellie. It took a while but now Joel lets you comfort him, he lets you hold him together when he needs it. 

He tears his eyes from the window to meet yours, chin tipped up as he gets a good look at you in the dark. 

"M'alright." You take a few more steps into the kitchen and he frowns. "You cold?" He reaches for you with one hand, beckoning you close. You step into his space and he wraps one arm around you, leans his head against your soft stomach. You untangle from the blanket slightly to run your fingers through his hair. The touch is as grounding for him as it is for you.

"What can I do?" you ask him, ignoring his question. 

You can feel the warmth of his palm through the blanket and your sleep shirt. "This is just fine. Just need a minute." 

"You wanna take that minute on the couch?" He grunts his assent and you step back to allow him to get up. He leaves his mug on the table but catches your hand to pull you with him.

Joel sighs when he settles into the worn cushions, knees spread wide and head tipped back as be breathes. He doesn't look any more tired than usual but you can tell he's still holding onto whatever sent him down here. 

You press into his side, legs curled underneath you. His arm settles heavily on across your shoulders and you rest a palm on his knee. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" He turns his head to face you and his nostrils flare as he frowns.

"Nothin' new," he sighs. "A pretty old one, actually. Haven't had it in a while. 'Bout stuff from when we were on the road."

If he wants to say more he will. You don't know what it's like for him to worry about Ellie -- you only know how youworry. Once the sun rises he'll probably trudge over and knock on her door, ask if she wants to go for a ride. She'll complain about being woken up but she'll agree because she knows him, too. She'll see the tension at the edges of his eyes, in the set of his shoulders. There have been nights when you come downstairs to find her sleeping on the couch, too, just because she wanted to be sure he was okay.

You lean your head on his shoulder and breathe with him. He picks up your hand and rubs his thumb across the back of it slowly, as if he doesn't even know he's doing it.

Sleep is a near thing when Joel eventually clears his throat. "I got that gossip for you." His chest rumbles and you perk up, pulling back to look at him. His eyes have a bit more spark, a bit less of the far-away look he had when you came down the stairs. 

"Oh, do you now? Finally?"

"You're just impatient," he says. "Hadn't heard directly from either of 'em so I wasn't sure. But I tracked it down and got it from the source."

"You sound like a detective from one of those old shows. Got it from the source," you say, pitching your voice low and imitating his drawl. 

He manages to look unimpressed. "I don't have to tell you."

"Joel."

"Alright, alright. Well, it's about Wendy and Fred."

You sit up. "The couple that met on your group patrol?" It's something you and Ellie tease him about -- his accidental tendency to play matchmaker. Sometimes he leads group patrols for new folks or younger community members who are now old enough to join the roster. You think he probably enjoys scaring the shit out of them a little but he's also good at it, teaches them well and makes sure they're safe. Around the time you met you'd heard about a couple who met on a patrol and hit it off. It's happened a few more times with Joel's groups but Wendy and Fred are the only ones who have stayed together. 

"Mhm. Word is they're gettin' married."

You gasp. This is very far from what you expected him to tell you. A lot of the gossip you and Joel share is about people breaking up or sleeping together or moving out of Jackson. Sometimes it's petty theft or in-fighting at the council. But this? This is downright romantic.

"Married?" It's not uncommon these days but most people don't bother. But most importantly it means one thing -- there's going to be a party. "We haven't had a wedding in...forever," you say wistfully.

"Been a few years, yeah," Joel agrees. "Folks'll be excited."

"How did you find out?" 

He shifts on the couch a little and you take control of your clasped hands, holding one of his in both of yours as you trace the lines on his palm, the veins that go up his arm while he talks. 

"Heard from one of the guys at the festival that Fred was lookin' for a ring. Wanted to get the word out to some supply runs but without her knowin'. But I wasn't sure, since I hadn't seen him in a while. Then I saw Wendy at the pantry few days ago and she looked real happy. I didn't pry but asked her how things were and she was chipper as hell."

"And that wasn't enough to tell me?"

He squeezes your shoulder. 

"Yesterday Fred cornered me when I was headin' home and told me flat out. Thanked me for some fuckin' reason and said Wendy agreed to marry him. Kid looked like he was gonna throw up, he was so excited."

Joel's voice is warm. "You are such a romantic when you want to be," you tell him.

He smirks. "Heard that before."

"It'll be nice to have a celebration. If we're invited, you're dancing with me again."

"We better fuckin' be invited," he grumbles. "I introduced them."

"So you admit to being a matchmaker?"

He huffs. "Nah," he says, a little softer. "Dumb luck. S'how you get good things these days."

You shift under his arm a little bit. "Maybe," you reply. "I think we've earned a few of those things."

Joel drags a hand down his face. It's a motion that usually means he's chewing on what to say next. You spare him.

"This --" you gesture between the two of you "--and all of this --" you wave your hand at the room, the house "-- is more than I knew I could want. You, this house, that feisty, wonderful girl out back. This whole town. Waking up every morning and not dreading another day on this hellish planet. I didn't know this existed anymore, Joel, let alone that it was possible for me. And I think we've earned it."

He's quiet for a few breaths. "C'mere," he says softly. You don't know exactly what he means but he pulls you into his lap so you're straddling him, his arm firm around your hips. It could be a heated position, often is, but here it's just to be close. You catch yourself on his shoulders and drag your hands up to his cheeks. You hold his face in your hands, thumbs stroking the soft, forever-bruised skin under his eyes.

"You sure got a way with words," he says thickly, gaze heavy. "Don't know what I did to deserve this but I ain't gonna question it."

You wrap your arms around him and properly embrace him. He presses his palms to your back and hooks his chin over your shoulder. Your breathing syncs up and you swear your heartbeats do, too. Your whole body, your whole being tuned itself to Joel a long time ago. You'd do everything you've done twice over to get here. 

As if he hears the desperate devotion of your thoughts, Joel pulls back so he can lean up for a kiss. It's more intense than you expected it to be, like he's trying to tell you something with the press of his mouth. You know what he's trying to tell you -- you always do. Joel is better at showing you how he feels than telling you. 

He suckles your lower lip and you tug on the hair at the nape of his neck. He makes a noise low in his throat and you swallow it. You could touch him forever and never get enough. The firm planes of his back, the knot of tension always present in his shoulders. The scratch of his beard, the press of his nose against yours. You want to stitch yourself to him so that you never have to let go.

"S'your turn," Joel grumbles against your lips, pulling back to catch his breath.

Your brain is a little fuzzy. "Hm?"

"For somethin' juicy." 

It's a funny word coming from his mouth and it makes you laugh. His arms tighten around you and he drags his nose down your neck and breathes deep. You can get some gossip for him. You'd do much worse without being asked. Sometimes you think there are no limits to what you'd do for this man. It's a big thought, a dangerous thought, one that's suited to the world you live in now. You don't mind it.

"I'll get you something good, Joel Miller. I promise."

"I know you will," he says. "I trust you."

thank you for reading <3 reblog, send feedback, general masterlist here!

[chilschuck]

Hear me out...

Witch/mage half-foot reader x chilchuck? Iy would be cute i think?

Maybe they have that carefree, mad hatter-y vibe that makes chil grow white hairs every single moment lol

(sorry for any mistakes, english isnt my first language)

`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ THIS IS SUCH A CUTE IDEA and i hope i did it justice!!! struggling to write for some reason lately but i got this out for you and i’m so happy that i finished it!!

— CHILCHUCK: x mage half-foot!reader.

꒰ warnings: ꒱ none, sfw + gn!reader!

꒰ wc: ꒱ 570

✦ hope this turned out okay!!! i am trying to get out at least one request a day! <3 enjoy!!

✦ You made it very known you were interested in joining the party, and Laios suggested it wouldn’t be too bad to have another magic user around. Since no one had really any objections to it, you became the party’s second half-foot member.

✦ With a smaller amount of mana than other races, you used your magic in smaller bursts. Even with having to be more observant of when you used it, you were definitely more of a carefree soul than the other members.

✦ Running headfirst into whatever monster made an appearance was common for you, and Chilchuck grabbing you by the collar and pulling you to safety with him was as well. You seemed to have a knack for making Chilchuck grow more gray hairs, whether it be by scaring the hell out of him with reckless behavior or disappearing for a span of time before popping up right behind him. (He didn’t want to guess what exactly you went off to do.)

✦ Chilchuck, when given the chance, would grab you by your shoulders to get onto you about your reckless behavior. To his dismay, you usually gave him that sly, carefree grin you always did. You two were definitely polar opposites in some regards, and Chilchuck had to routinely keep his heart from stopping when you put yourself in danger.

✦ That isn’t to say you weren’t skilled at what you do: even Chilchuck knew you had talent. It was more so that you had a bit more fun than needed, which caused the already older half-foot to feel like he’s aging more.

✦ All his concerns and reprimanding aside, he really did enjoy your company. Maybe it was your whimsical sort of outlook or the way you carried yourself, but he was definitely drawn to you. The first time he realized this was when you scared him so badly that he thought he had lost you. After letting him know you were fine and that it’s nothing some healing won’t fix up, he knew you had begun to grow on him.

✦ You made sure to tease him about his concern over your wellbeing, letting him know you were more than capable of taking care of yourself. Maybe even purposefully putting him on edge with some of your shenanigans just to see him freak out a little.

✦ Secretly, Chilchuck admired how gutsy you were, even if your mad hatter-like personality gave him heart palpitations. He wondered what it must be like to not have any concerns like that, sometimes catching his attention being solely on you and your work.

✦ It didn’t help that you and your personality were pretty charming, after all. Maybe he even found it cute how engrossed in certain aspects of magic you’d get. And how excited you got when you succeeded at something. Also how you’d sometimes catch yourself daydreaming and get lost in thought. The list goes on, much to his dismay.

✦ The half-foot would always deny it, but sometimes Marcille sees the way he looks at you and absolutely teases him. Apparently, it reminds her of a romance novel she read once, about a grumpy man and this mage that taught him how to live life to the fullest. Chilchuck swatted her away, trying his best to ignore the feeling in his chest at that. He definitely has some thinking to do… (And feelings to acknowledge!!)

— dividers by @/cafekitsune! <3

[minhosimthings]

The French Quotes Series ft.Enhypen

The five kings of various kingdoms over a lush piece of earth in the vast land of Paradoxica. Each ruled over their own share of land, passed on to the from generation to generation. Brothers by heart, and not by blood, they often met, one king going into the kingdom of another, drinking and merry making all day, before going back to their duties. The same old schedule, some blood here, some flowers there, and some weddings here and there. But sometimes Cupid takes pity on humans. And luckily for the Kings, he did exactly that.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Dances Avec Les Etoiles ft. Heeseung

English translation: Dance With the Stars.

Kingdom name: Tarnow

Part 1 || Part 2 || The wedding

Plot: God how boring is love? For Lee Heeseung, it was perhaps the most boring thing in this rotten world. But for his parents, it meant buisness. And buisness meant getting Heeseung married off to a princess from another kingdom. And when the princess shares a peculiar interest, Heeseung starts to believe in Cupid again.

Status: Completed

A La Folie ft. Jay

English translation: To insanity.

Kingdom name: Vadronia

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || The Wedding

Plot: Wounds came and went. All in the circle of life am I right? The greatest warrior among all the kings, Park Jay. For him, seeing blood was like seeing the sky. It was a daily routine which he could not escape. Yes sometimes he had grave injuries, which he wouldn't stop to take care of, with him being a workaholic. But sometimes healers do more than heal physical wounds, and for Jay, you did exactly that.

Status: Completed

Mon coure t'appartient ft. Jake

English Translation: My heart is yours.

Kingdom name: Crasmere

Plot: Young love was so beautiful. And Jake believed in it so much. He believed in love perhaps a lot more than his brothers did. And it made sense, when you looked at his kingdom, which housed the most happiest people in the land. Unfortunately, Jake's best friend, was a sceptic, refusing to believe that love existed, even though she had hidden her feeling since the age of eleven. Well I wonder what Cupid has in store for these lovesick idiots.

Status: still loading......

Avec toi, je suis moi ft. Sunghoon

English translation: With you, I am me.

Kingdom name: Isernia

Plot: Ice Prince. The coldest person in all of the land. Sombre expression on his face, cold eyes always present. No one could really read Park Sunghoon. Well almost no one. And when you came into his life, a kind of warmth wrapped around his coldness, and to his surprise, it felt good.

Status: still loading.....

Le monde est a nous ft. Sunoo

English translation: The world is ours.

Kingdom name: Lanark

Plot: Why must love always be so slow? Why can't it be completed In a fraction of a second, like a firecracker bursting? That was the question forever present in Kim Sunoo's mind. Yes he believed in love, but he never really understood, that it wasn't all roses and chocolates and kisses. Until you, the bane of his existence came into his life and taught by, second by second, what it meant to love a human, like a human.

Status: still loading.....

Tags: @amazzwon @heeseungshim @kvmariii @mwahvvis @hottiewifeyyyy @sacrificeatmeup @perfectnighttt @yawnzzhoon @niinjo

Thank you to @sumaneun-stars @candewlsy and @yunabi436 who have listened to me rambling about this genuinely thank you for keeping me same

[fuyukohasnocreativity]

   -Gift-

featured character ☆ reo mikage

tag(s): fluff ☆

______________________________________________________________

༊*·˚

        You sigh as you walk back home from school. It was a lot colder than usual and you hated it. Nothing's better than having a bad day and it's freezing cold outside. Great. Despite the fact that in winter, you simply wear a uniform, a black skirt, and extremely thin black tights every year. Each and every single day, nothing was interesting anymore. School was equally boring every day. Most subjects are taught by the teachers you highly dislike, except for music and art. To sum it all up, you have no friends. Reo, who was basically your one and only friend, (soon became lovers) left to go to Blue Lock. Who knows when he'll be back? After all, without Reo, your life has suddenly became monochrome. 

        As you finally arrived back to your apartment suite, you noticed a huge brown box lying by the front of your door porch. Obviously, you were very puzzled by this. Who would randomly leave a humongous brown box? You couldn't simply leave this... gift(?) by your door. Seriously, it was extremely heavy to even drag it inside your "house" but you had to manage. It took around fifteen minutes or so to push that huge box in your house. Now, you stood there thinking.

        Maybe it won't hurt to open this? 

Your hands trembled, a sign of being hesitant. Suddenly, your phone gets a notification; It was Reo.

༊*·˚ -Reo: y/n, did you receive my gift yet?

                              -Y/n: gift?

-Reo: yea, the brown box

               -Y/n: u mean the humongous brown box that i couldnt even manage to drag it inside my house?

-Reo: uhhh perhaps

                            -Y/n: WHY DID YOU GIVE ME SUCH A BIG GIFT???????????

-Reo: why not?

-Reo: anyways im outside right now

                            -Y/n: ??

                            -Y/n: WAIT WHAT?????

                            -Y/n: OUTSIDE?????

                            -Y/n: REO ANSWER ME

༊*·˚

        You waited a few minutes for Reo to reply but supposedly, he's not going to reply sooner or later. Finally, no more thoughts. Reo said he was outside so surely he's telling the truth. You just had to go down even though you were only in your pajamas. You quickly climbed down the stairs as fast as you could. Sure, you roughly tripped on a few steps and almost died but that's not the matter right now. As soon as you stepped outside, Reo was there right in front of you. There was still some distance but close enough for you run into his arms. He was holding a fancy, but cute (and quite big) bouquet with a variety of different colorful, fragrant flowers. Reo was wearing some casual clothes, that's no surprise. "Reo!" you jumped on him and he hugged you tightly, almost tripping and dropping the big colorful bouquet of flowers on the ground.  "Y/n!" Reo was so happy, he laughed, he had tears in his eyes, his heart could definitely burst at any moment. He must have been so happy and excited to see you after so long. Your heart could have also exploded at any moment too. Sudden small teardrops streamed down your cheeks and you quickly bury your face in Reo's shoulder, feeling a little embarrassed. A very muffled "I missed you so much..." came out of your mouth. Once your tears stopped, the two of you headed back to your apartment suite.

༊*·˚ 

        Reo poured some water in a kettle, then placed it on top of a stove. "Wait Reo, I can make tea-" "No, it's fine." Reo commented. Once the water started boiling and made an extremely high-pitched whistling sound, he removed the shiny silver kettle from the stove and carefully poured the piping hot water in two mugs with a teabag in each cup then handed you the white ceramic mug with tea to you. "Thank you." you smiled. The two of you sat on the comfy navy blue sofa, right in front of you two was the gift Reo delivered to you. The two of you were awkwardly staring at it until Reo finally decided to say something: 

        "Well? Open it, Y/n!" he smiled and had an extremely enthusiastic but happy, and excited tone. 

        You tried ripping the clear tape that sealed the box but you struggled too much and so, had to use a box cutter in the end. Inside the box had seven regular sized light brown teddy bears and a ton of stationary that could probably last you until you were ninety years old. Burried under the seven brown teddy bears and the stationary haul, there was a small box that looked like something from a jewlery store. Very carefully, you opened it and saw a silver necklace. Shocked, you glanced at Reo and saw that he also had a silver ornemental chain dangling on his neck too. "Thank you Reo!" you thanked him but you also had no idea that your cheeks were flushed pink, all the way to your ears. Once again, that urge to just burst out in tears again. Reo wrapped his arms around you and gave you a peck on the forehead. You made up your mind, telling Reo about how life was so boring without him. The two of you laughed, the two of you cried. 

༊*·˚

            Both you and Reo were snuggling in bed, binge watching Detective Conan. Later on, perhaps after 8-9 episodes or so you fell asleep on his shoulder. Reo noticed that you had fallen asleep. He turned off the TV and just stared at you in awe for a few seconds. He then gently kissed your forehead and a few minutes later, dozed off.

______________________________________________________________

unfortunately, reo isn't real... sobs in disappointment

thanks for reading :3

©fuyukohasnocreativity do not copy, repost, or translate. likes and reblogs are accepted and appreciated!

[barelylivingscholar]

Arlecchino with a daughter tw: unhealthy family relationships, manipulation, and gore(?), suicidal thoughts, unstable/mentally ill daughter. Not for the faint of heart, heavy angst, a somewhat positive ending in the last part(?) (Do not read if uncomfortable)

An: I am backkkkk, second semester and last semester’s finals kept me busyyyyyy but I’m here again to post some stufffffff!! Not hsr related but like I also write for Genshin now, apparently… Will post a part two, I guess? “Father. When am I able to hang around with the others? I have done everything that you’ve asked for.” A young girl asked, to which “Father” responds with, “You need to focus on the task in hand. I still have many more missions for you to do before I set you free.” The girl sighed, knowing very well that she may as well never be able to be allowed to play with the other kids… For a moment, the girl had wished that she wasn’t the only one to deal with this kind of burden. The burden being, the “successor” of “Father.” She wanted to play with the other kids as well, but alas, her father does not permit her to do so. Instead, excuses are made, and the standard Fatui discipline is instilled in her mind, always have to act proper and professional, not allowed to shed a tear, or to feel strong feelings regardless of what the matters are. I hate it here. I do not wish to stay here any longer. Every day feels like I am only made to be the person that “Father” wishes me to be. I am never truly happy. I am sinking. Father was not  family. This whole thing is and always was, a lie. Do I ever get to be free? Perhaps I can set myself free. There is a way.  ̶T̶̶h̶̶e̶ ̶q̶̶u̶̶e̶̶s̶̶t̶̶i̶̶o̶̶n̶ ̶i̶̶s̶, ̶a̶̶m̶ ̶I̶ ̶w̶̶i̶̶l̶̶l̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶ ̶t̶̶o̶ ̶d̶̶o̶ ̶i̶̶t̶? --- After burning the corpse of their enemies, I return to the House of the Hearth, albeit bloody and face that is smudged of dirt, the smell of blood and gasoline lingers around me. With every passing servant, caretakers, and also children as well, unsettled and left shaken up at the sight of me. I stained the carpets red. I wonder if “Father” would notice as the carpet is in the same shade of the blood of her enemies…? Will she punish me and discipline me? Although words are exchanged, no form of physical harm done, I am still left isolated.  Like I am to be a monster kept away from people… I feel caged.

This time, I didn’t bother to clean up and went straight ahead to father’s office. Where I know I’ll be punished for such a careless mistake. “Father, I have returned.” I greet, looking to see her eyes staring straight at me. For once I don’t cower. I simply walk up to her and wait for her response. I have no reason to be scared, right? I don’t think I care anymore. Father’s eyes narrowed. The sight of blood that wasn’t mine, the smell of gasoline, in her eyes, I may as well be the filthiest child in the house. One that is simply, uncouth for the position of “successor.” “Why have you not followed protocol? Especially contingency 8? Have I not taught you well?” Her voice sharp, dissatisfied with my performance. It must be a surprise for her that her “successor” had become disobedient. What is she going to do to me, I wonder? Dispose of me? Or would she find someone else who is to succeed her as the “Father” of the House of the Hearth. “I… I have no other excuses.” I was unable to control my voice. It was shaky, wavering. I hate it. Father’s eyes seemed to had harden. I am interested with what is going to be the left of me once this is all over. I look forward to it. I want her to snap at me. Kill me. Foul words for a child like me, but this is what I planned. Maybe it is best that I sleep in eternal slumber instead rather than live a life full of misery. I have nothing to be grateful here. I am not thankful that I am still alive today. “…You are hereby stripped of the title “successor.” You are no longer worthy of the title. I am disappointed.” Is that it? No severe punishments? My mind raced; I was unable to comprehend why had she punished me in a way that is so… Little? Had she gone soft? I do not remember anything that made her want to punish me lightly. Don’t I deserve… More? My brows had furrowed. “Father” did not miss that. “Daughter… Are you, upset?” Her voice sounded confusing, to me. Why do you suddenly care? I don’t understand you at all. I do not feel safe at all. Are you really “family?” “…I’m fine.” I say, my voice a little tight. Unshed tears on my face, I am no fool. I do not need your love.

“You are now excused.” Never had I ever left her office so quickly after that. I had to get away…! I need to get out of here… I breathed heavily as I ran and ran… Until there is nowhere to go. The heavy snow had engulfed me. And soon… I was unconscious. I awoke to an unfamiliar place. This is not the House of the Hearth. I quickly got up, ignoring the sudden rush of blood shooting up due to how fast I went up. I ignore the throbbing pain on my forehead, I focused on my surroundings instead. Where am I? This place is… Different. I jolted as I felt a hand on my shoulder, immediately backing off and grabbing a hidden dagger in my boot. “Stay there! I will stab you!” I hissed. Glaring at the mysterious figure. They looked… Kind. I am not supposed to feel that way. There are no kind people in this world. Everyone I know will always lie to me, manipulate me for their gain. Just like “Father.” Just like them…

The stranger had knelt down and attempted to soothe me. I only responded with aggression and threats. They weren’t phased at all. “Who are you? I am no ordinary orphan! I am a murderer!” I shouted, clearly agitated. The man in a familiar coat had not reacted violently at all. I am confused. And angry. “I am Pantalone. “Regrator” from the Fatui. I assume you are one of the Knave’s lost children…” My eyes widened at the statement. He is no ordinary man… I should’ve known, I gritted my teeth and gripped my dagger tight. “I am not her orphan! I am no longer a part of that… I could care less if you are a part of the Fatui, I will die gladly in vain if I have to fight for my freedom!” I hissed. The man is amused. I can tell by the look in his eyes. “I have a better proposal for you, child.” “Regrator” inquired. I had not chosen to back down even at the prospect of an offer. “What makes you think I will take it?” I replied, gripping the dagger tight. “I will not surrender you to the Knave. Rather, I’ll take you in as my disciple.”

Disciple? Is this man sick in the head? Why would I agree to that? It seems “Regrator” had heard my thoughts, and so, he added, “Although, it is up to you if you would rather be surrendered back to the Knave… Or join me and I’ll give you a much better purpose, in life… Not that you have any choice on the matter if you decline my offer…” I had no sense of purpose to live for. I am merely an empty shell of what I was once. I have nothing to achieve… In the end, I don't have what it takes to truly end my life. So I will follow my new superior. “Fine. But don’t expect me to be easily obedient. I am rather mad.” And it was the start of something anew…  I had become, “Regrator’s disciple.” I wonder how “Knave” will react to such arrangements… An: Part two will include Lyney, Lynette, and Freminet. There will be other characters who will be included as well but, part one's story was set before Lyney became the sucessor of the House of the Hearth. I am thinking of interesting ideas to write for this story and some alternate routes as well... We'll see once I whip up part two.

[dark-night-hero]

Oh gawd that "without you/me" imagine... Madame Ping better be regretting everything once MC's death is revealed. Imagine if Zhongli succumbed to erosion because of that, and now all of the adepti must put their own leader to rest—especially Xiao, whom was equally devastated by this turn of events. Venti implied there was someone interested in MC too so what if that was Xiao (gawd what if he also succumbs to karmic debt—)? Now Barbatos remains as the last of the Original 7, the supposed weakest

: Sorry for the late answer/reply. Had to go on a brainstorming for this one. And hehehe, I've made my convo with my cousin like a notepad because I kept dumping idea in it. Well I suppose this is the last part of the "without me/you" following the other imagine.

: without me | without you | part 3? imagine

"Oh Morax, I've heard you've retired. What business do I owe you to come into me like this?" Tightening his hold upon the guy.. a fellow being's neck, Zhongli- Morax hold his polearm an inch away from his face. "Where are they?" "Who? Ahhh wait pffff HAHAHAHA urgh-!" Without any tind of hesitation, Morax trusted the blade of his polearm on his stomach. "I asked you." "Where. Are. They." This time, his amber iris glowed much like of a dragon, sending fear down the mans spine and yet having no regrets upon realizing he had accomplished his goals already. "Haven't you heard the news Morax? They're dead. I killed them with my own hands while you were away-"

Imagine the way earthquake were once again frequent in the land of Liyue to the point were it reaches the Harbor. It wouldn't be that much of a big deal at first if it was just once in a while, but nowadays, it goes three times a day, sending fears in the heart of the citizens that lived in it.

Imagine at the same time, deep within the hidden caves in one of the oldest standing mountains of Liyue was their former Archon. Slowly, but surely little by little succumb to erosion as he suffered grieving for his beloved. Questioning every decisions he have made so far and regretting most of it. He should have been there for you, he shouldn't have leave you alone. He shouldn't have let you go, he shouldn't have made that deal that made the two of you further away from each other.

Imagine the pain of loosing you. You who he cherished the most now gone just like that, while he wasn't looking. Imagine the pain, the way a terror roars of a dragon who have lost his mate echos and crumbles the cave. The way the ground shake as he released the feeling of grieving, frustration, anger and self hatred. The way he started lossing himself and the only thing that manages to keep him calm was the flower field that was slowly turning into a wreck upon his own doing.

Imagine the way upon having another harsh session of destroying everything in sight which was nothing but rocks and flowers. He would calm down and cry, asking himself why and why and why. A never ending why. Why does it has to be you. He was fine to admire you from afar, he was fine if you were happy with someone else, he was fine as long as you are happy and not suffering. As long as you're alive and well, he doesn't mind. He was able to bare it for hundreds of thousands of years upon the contract. But now that you were gone. What more does he have?

Imagine if it aren't for you, he wouldn't have change. He wouldn't have much interest to other being, he would still be that same old aggressive God ready to make chaos along the way. He was never interest in making friends, he was never interested in being nice, nor taking people and protecting them. It was all on you, it was you who taught him to be nice, not to take everything for granted. It may not be thay obvious, but looking back. You were the only reason why he decided to keep going. He who aren't that much interest in anything, manage to find every little things matter, all because of you.

Imagine the way Zhongli... the way Morax started loosing himself. The moment he heard.. he moment he felt that you're gone. He just lost it. The way he started looking for the one who did this to you, the one he sealed all those years ago. He was careless, he should have killed him long ago. It was all his fault. Why you were hurting, why you were gone. It was all on him.

"I'm sorry." Kneeling in front of the messed flower field, he grip on one of the flowers. "I'm sorry." He repeated. "My love. Forgive me." He cried and then snap out of the dazed form he was in. Wondering for a moment what he was doing before looking down on his hands only to find a crushed flower in hand, he then flinch. Gently laying down the dead crushed flower in hand, looking at the messed up field, his amber iris where shaken, then he let out a shaky sigh. "What a mess. Let's get it fixed up. They're going to get mad seeing this mess on their lair."

"We need to end things as soon as possible." It was Cloud Retainer that spoke up. "We.. We can't face him alone." "But we need to try. Rex Lapis condition is getting worst. The more time we let by, the more he wouldn't be able to rest in peace peacefully." "What are your thoughts about this, Conqueror of demons?" All eyes turned upon the said Adeptus who have been silently listening on the meeting. "I.. I won't do it." "Alatus." "I'm not participating." He firmly said. "But-" "None of this would have happened if you just let them be in the beginning." "You-" "You can do whatever you want, but I'm out of this." He look at the fellow Adeptus coldly.

Imagine the silence after that. Then one Adeptus spoke up. "I don't get it." It was Streetward Rambler. "It was you who lost your master, who can you cling close to the one who killed her?" "Were you the only one who lost someone?" Xiao asked back. "You lost my master, I lost my master. We all lost her who was very dear to us." "Then why.." Why do you keep defending them just like Rex Lapis? "Why? Because you aren't the only one who lost someone! Just like you, (First name) lost someone very dear to them. They were my master friends too! If only, if only you let them repent the proper way. No one wanted this to happen! Do you think my master would be all happy knowing what you did? No! She wouldn't be! You said you were doing this make them know what they felt when you lost my master?"

"The moment they lost my master within their own hands, the pain was greater and never the same with us! And what? What did you do after that? Force Rex Lapis to stay out of them? For what? For greater pain you might never experience? Because of what? Because you thought that that would make them repent on their actions? They never wanted this to happen! And now what? Rex Lapis has to see them only from afar! Rex Lapis only get to admire them from afar! Do you think my Master would be happy to see this? All happening because of her death? No. I don't think she would be happy, never. If she have known that her death would result like this, she must be disappointed."

Imagine the way Xiao left after that, leaving the rest of the Adeptus on nothing but silence. The Streetward Rambler left with nothing but bundles of regret, little by little realizing her mistakes. Although it wasn't wrong, none can say it was right too. After all, everyone has different way of grieving, in this case, in her case. Maybe she went too far. Hurting and affecting so many lives and love in the process.

"And who you may be? As far as I can remember, My Lover is yet to return, let alone does they have any friends at the moment." "Rex Lapis." "Rex Lapis?" "They're gone." Although they were aware that the being right in front of them were faking kindness right in front of them, just like the first time they've met. As soon as those words left on their side, those amber iris went half lidded with silent rage of a dragon that was ready to blast at them at any moment. "Apologies but I just happened to fixed everything in here. My lover wouldn't appreciate coming back home with their lair all messed up so I would like to ask you to le-" "They're gone, Morax."

Imagine the way those amber iris widen, the sudden ache on his head and the never ending pain on his chest return, at the same time. A glimpse of what happened not too long ago came into mind. They're dead said the laughing bastard, I killed them with my own hands. Have you seen the way they look Morax? Ahhh just thinking about it gives me shivers HAHAHA. Stop. You're not dead, you just went away for a moment like you always did in the past. You just said goodbye to him not to long ago for a short venture. You asked him to look after your lair after giving him a quick peck on the lips. They're dead Morax, I made it sure if I can't have them. Then no one else can. I gave them a choice long ago, but they kept rejecting me, and then you came and they seems to have forgotten about me. "No, they're not dead." "Morax-" "Utter a single word about my beloved and I swear you're goin to meet your demise!"

Imagine the more they try to reason it out, the painful his headache is. The more they kept telling him you're gone, that you're dead. The more he felt rage. Because why do they kept telling him you're dead? Aren't you by his side not to long ago? Who are these beings even? How do they get in here? Where are these memories coming from? Who was the voice inside his head? You'll do just fine without me, My love. Are you really dead? He couldn't believe it, he couldn't accept it. No, fuck. No.

Imagine, the more he thinks about it. The more he looses it, black embers starts to swirl around him, his horns and dragonic teeth showing, his amber iris glowing. Morax, did you ever love me? Just like that, something inside him snap and went out of control. They're dead. They're gone. In a blink of eye, the moment he took his eyes off them, they're gone. Suddenly everything went quiet, just like a calm before the storm. Except this was nothing like a storm, it was a disaster. As the ground starts to shake, the Adeptus were on their guard. But the moment Zhongli.. Morax turn around, the moment they saw those clouded amber iris, they could only think of something. They couldn't win. Because those, those were the eyes of someone who have lost everything, they held no fear, just vengeance. It was destructive, so destructive.

Imagine, despite the fact that even though he was no longer in his prime, despite the effects of erosion, he was still powerful and all mighty. Even with the adeptus trying to snap him out of it, they knew it was too late. And the only way to stop Morax, Rex Lapis was to kill him as fast as possible. That way they would be able to at least end his sufferings quickly as possible. And yet here they are barely hanging on in front of him, their friend. The same friend that they didn't notice was suffering in silence all this time, all because they took you away from him. Making them wonder what kind of friend they were in the first place as they remembered Xiao's word.

Imagine not to far away from the scene was Xiao, watching his Lord, Rex Lapis, someone he had admire for a very long time fall into pits of despair thus is now suffering from erosion and must be put to rest as soon as possible before he was corrupted. Thus imagine the pain for as soon as he steps in the field, those amber iris met his yellow ones. "Zhongli sama." "I don't know what you're talking about, Alatus." Replied Morax as soon as Xiao spoke.

"Zhongli sama, this is enough." "Stop calling me that- I have no memories of taking that persona." "(First nam-)" "Don't. Don't you dare utter the name of my beloved." "(First name) wouldn't want to see you like this, Zhongli sama." "I said stop calling me that name!" "It's okay to cry, Zhongli sama." There was silence after that, only the two of then staring at each other. While he, Morax have obvious wounds and bruises all over his body, Xiao who just came in the scene was all well.

Imagine the way Xiao look a step forward, he wasn't afraid at all. All because he knew deep down, the god, the Archon he respected and was loyal to was deep within the being right in front of him still. "Zhongli sama. It's okay to take a rest now." With every step he take, Morax just stayed still, those clouded amber iris were obviously shaken. "Zhongli sama..-" "Zhongli.. Is the name they've given me." "You remembered." Little by little, light returns to those amber iris. "Yes. Of course it's the game they've given me." Little by little, he started to be calm.

Imagine as Zhongli calms down, that didn't take away the headache he was having, although this time, everything was far clearer. But perhaps with the erosion effect, he left himself getting weaker as moments passed by. Still realizing his outburst and the beins he have end up hurting due to his unstable state. "I-" "It's alright, Rex Lapis." It was the Cloud Retainer. "Despite being blinded by rage, you were unconsciously holding back aren't you?" She chuckle, looking at the direction of the unconscious fellow adeptus. "I know it's too late, far too late but. She- we went too far, didn't we." "No yo-" "You've done enough for this world, don't you think, Zhongli. No, Morax?" There another uninvited yet familiar face came in the scene, Venti or should we say, Barbatos.

Imagine the silence once again, but this time, Morax was rather surprised but eventually let out a sigh before falling back on the ground if it wasn't for Xiao who manage to prevent him from galling back into the ground. He was feeling rather weak but then strange enough, it was welcoming. "What are you doing here?" "I came to say goodbye to an old friend." That made Morax chuckle, it was slow, but visible cracks were now appearing all over his body. "How did you know?" "Whispers in the wind." Venti then kneel right beside Morax who being supported by Xiao as he sat on the ground.

Imagine as moment passed by, Zhongli was rather calm as if he didn't went on a rampage for the last few months after your death. He was calm as if he waiting, maybe he was waiting. Morax. "Zhongli sama." In reply, Zhongli could only humm. "You've done enough, you can rest peacefully now." He didn't failed to notice the way the little hand that was supporting his back was trembling. Morax. "Have I?" He asked and Xiao nodded causing a genuine smile makes it way on Zhongli's lips.

"Yes, you can rest easily now." Xiao reply to the one he respthe most. "Don't make them wait any longer." He added causing Zhongli's eyes to go widen before letting out a heart felt laugh. "Alright." The cracks then starts to spread faster. "Though if you all don't mind." With every bit of strength left as he, Morax started to disintegrate. "Would you mind looking after this place? It's very dear to me, to us."

Imagine as for a moment, everything went black for Morax as he closes his eyes, only for him soon be to blinded by light, causing his brows to frown and hands went to shield his eyes away from the blinding light. And upon adjusting his vision, he soon realised where he was. In the same flower field, except it was endless, and compared to the cave ceiling on your lair, it was rather bright out the sun in here. Not that he minded tho, not when he could hear familiar foot steps approach. And as he did, he turn around. There you were eyes wide as if you did not expect him to sense you approaching him.

Imagine, all across the field, with a good distance between the two of you, your eyes met. And as soon as it does. You let out a laugh and open your arms, and that's all it took him to run after you. Forgetting everything, he ran after you. And as soon as you were within his reach, he pull you into a tight embrace. Burying his face on your neck, breathing your scent, feeling your pulse, your warmth. And you pat him in the back as you embrace him back, closely listening to his rapid heartbeat. "Don't ever asume I could and would bare to live without you ever again." By his words, you laugh continuously patting him at the back. "I'm never living a life without you, keep that in mind." He added.

"Was it that hard without me?" The way he nuzzled close to you was enough to figure out as an answer. "Alright, that was my bad." You smile. "(First name)." "What it is?" Gently withdrawing himself away from you, "I love you." He spoke while looking at you directly in the eyes. "If you ask me again if I ever loved you. The answer is I did, I never stopped, I don't think I could never stop loving you." Brushing away the tears that roll down his cheeks, you kissed him gently. "I love you too. Thank you for making it back to me, my love, my Morax."

Imagine, back in the land of Teyvat where the Adeptus and an old friend was left alone. As Xiao stare at the spot, his arms were Rex Lapis just disappeared from. He felt a hand on his shoulder. "They'll be fine." It was Barbatos, Venti. "What you did was the right thing to do." Although he did say that, there was a bitter smile on Venti's face before he shake his head and only then was a genuine smile on his face. "I guess this makes be the last man standing, Morax." He whispered to himself before turning his attention back to Xiao who was staring at him. "If you don't mind, would you like to listen to my melody tonight?"

A life without you is no life at all.

[ⓒdark-night-hero] 2023°

: man! that was long, I was not expecting it go be this long, what the. well then, I guess this is the end. also, I think I did stray away from what was asked but I think it's pretty close? well then its 0:55 in the morning and still got classes around 8 am. so yeah, gnight.

[thebadboyfanclub]

She Is A Lady (Ivar x Targaryen Reader)

Ivar has always been such an interesting character to me so imagine how delighted I was when I got my first request for him. Also I would like to announce that I will not be accepting any more requests for daemon Targaryen as of right now cause i have written so many and I have also others that I must write. Enjoy!

Y/n) had always been an adventurous character, ever since she could walk she would wobble away from everyone, curiosity fuelling her little chubby legs, when she got a little older and was able to get on her dragon, Rhaenyras's heart raced as she waited patiently for her daughter to come home.

She was her father's daughter, stubborn, brave, and resilient, “the noble she-dragon” was her title when she would often be referred to in the songs of barbs, she would smirk under her cloak as she would often cover herself to visit the small taverns.

When war called for her (y/n) defended her mother with the fierceness of a dozen warriors, however, the pain of losing her brothers one by one, her dear Daemon who taught her so many things, her grandmother Rhaenys, she could not risk the death of her mother.

“We can still fight dear”

“Mother our troops have fought fiercely for so long, most of our men are dead, we need an alliance”

“What if they kill you?”

“Then I’ll let my brothers know how much you love them and we will be waiting for you, my queen”

Rhaenyra overcomes with emotion fell into her daughters' arms in desperation, her precious little girl was now grown up. (Y/n) hugged her mother back with the same amount of love, she hated the fact that she had to leave her mother's side, but this was their last resort.

Rhaenyra pulled away slightly, her fingers reaching for the few strands of Dark hair that were entangled between her Targaryen silver hair, a small token she had inherited from her late father.

“Promise me you will come back to me”

“I won’t come alone, I’ll come with an army to protect you”

-

(Y/n) had searched for inhabited land beyond the wall for a full day, the sun had been tucked away and replaced by the moon when she noticed a land lit by torches, it would unwise to make a haste landing without a warning first, for all she knew this land could be home for cannibals or demon worshippers.

(Y/n) commanded her dragon to fly a bit lower, circling the city to make her presence known, not only did the people notice her, as they had gathered around for supper to celebrate their victory, they rose from their seats to follow the beast that appeared to make landing a bit further down.

“I am unharmed, well… except the dragon”

“Who are you?”

“Princess (y/n) Targaryen, I come from kings landing”

The men came to a standstill with the princess, both parties waiting for a sudden move so they can “defend” their own, you could only hear the sound of the fire from their torches and their breaths created a mist from the cold.

“I understand this is sudden for you but I have come in peace, I have been traveling on dragon back since dawn, it would be certainly easier for me to explain after I get some type of food if you could be so kind to offer one”

The dim light was not enough to reveal the contraption Ivar was using to stand up on his legs, his eyes piercing through hers in such intensity that (y/n) felt like the man was trying to look into her brain, still she did not waver, she challenged him with her strong look she beheld on those intriguing hues, her flame could be identified from a mile away, this was not a meek princess, she came flying in a beast and stood by it proudly, she was a true warrior sent from the Gods.

“Fine, princess. Leave your sword and dragon here and then you can follow us”

Of course, he knew she was lying, he saw the sword that rested on her hip the minute she got on the ground, intrigued by the astonishing beast she came with he decided to offer her sanctuary.

To his surprise, the princess took out her sword before she came on one knee with it laying flat on her palms.

“This has been given to me by a beloved family member, I do not wish to leave it unattended but I trust you with it, Ser”

“Ivar, Ivar the boneless”

Her face showed exactly how puzzled she was by the nickname the name claimed that he was holding, howbeit she did not have time to question it for long since from the first step Ivar took (y/n) picked up on the metal sound and observed just how stiff his walking as she realized that the man was probably barely able to stand up, his entire weight was supported by a delicates design of metal that went all the way up to his thigh.

Ivar smirked at the sight of the woman offering her sword, she seemed smart enough according to her calculated moves, the sword felt light in his hand as it shined under the moonlight, arrogantly he pointed the tip of the sword directly under her chin, his ego allowing him to consider that he had the upper hand.

(Y/n) gently placed the weapon away from her face and rose to her feet, she had been nothing but gracious she would not allow herself to be disrespected.

“Lead the way, my lord”

She simply suggested, she concealed her facial expression well though the devil was always in the details, Ivar could see her hands forming into fists.

“Welcome to Kattegat princess”

He turned his back on her while she took small steps to stay behind him, she did not want to offend him by walking faster so her pace was slow enough to let him walk.

(Y/n)s eyes traveled around everything, people’s faces, their clothing, their tables, their homes, it seemed like everyone was living a simple life, it reminded her of the roads of kings landing.

Ivar could hear the whispers from his subjects, they were all taken back by Ivars sudden kindness, and they all expected him to kill her on the spot, he had to admit that the idea did go through his head, yet something in him told him to let her join their feast, maybe it was the fearsome dragon, maybe her alluring appearance.

Alas, (y/n) took a seat next to him, and quite swiftly the servants gave her a plate full of food and a goblet with ale, the chicken was warm and the ale did the trick of warming her up as everyone danced around the fire, a faint smile played on her lips while Ivar observed her.

“So what brings you here princess?”

“War I am afraid”

“War?”

“In my homeland, we have one king that rules over the land, my family has been been in that position for over a century, yet it is the very first time that a woman-my mother- is to assume authority, that did not go well with her half brother”

“So you ran?”

“I certainly have not, my brothers were killed, my stepfather, my grandmother… all gone”

Ivar felt sadness rush through his chest at how the princess's chin quivered, her hushed tone trembling as she uttered the last two words, her doe eyes misting in the firelight, Ivar was not known for his empathy, still, he reached for her hand under the table to give it a slight squeeze.

“My mother was killed by my father's first wife, she released an arrow while my mother was walking away”

“How did you respond?”

“Oh I’ve tried to kill her several times”

“It is quite macabre, how the family is always the one that causes the biggest pain”

“I suppose, if you are not running then what brought you here?”

“Desperation, countless battles have taken most of our men, I was hoping to look for allies”

“You described it perfectly, desperation is the only thing that could make someone believe that another army of men would come to die for you”

“My mother is all I have left, wouldn’t you do anything to bring your own back to life?”

“Definitely”

“It might sound cruel but forgive me for saying I do not crave to understand your pain”

She was honest Ivar gave (y/n) that much, they sat there gawking at one another, she stood tall, she did not waver under his eyes as most people did, she showed no signs of fear, she did not care about anything, and let’s not even start of how ambitious she appeared to be.

Ivar took a swig of his ale without looking away from those distinguish violet hues, he recalled how the prophets have whispered to him of a queen of a faraway land.

“Your queen will help you fly amongst the clouds, you’ll know lands beyond the eye”

He had brushed it off as a riddle, but now he started to understand that it was the only time the prophet meant every word, could she- princess (y/n) Targaryen- be his queen?

There, for only the briefest moment and for the first time he felt the warm sensation of his heart thumping at the mere sight of her smile, like Freya had come from the clouds to place her cloak around the two youngsters. For so long Ivar had brushed off the idea of love or marriage, sometimes he would even the joke that the goddess herself has cursed him or turned his back on him, cruelly denying him the blessing of a true loves match.

“I cannot throw my men to a war over lands I know nothing about”

“I figure that we will ride tomorrow”

“Ride?”

“We can strap you up on Daylight and you will be safe as a passenger”

“You mean I go up in that?”

“Hey, she is a lady”

Ivar cackled at her correction regarding her dragon. It had been a while since one was so casual with him, that treated him with kindness without fearing his outbursts, sure her ignorance of not exactly knowing his antics had something to do with it, albeit Ivar thoroughly enjoyed her presence, her wit and pride complimented her.

As (y/n) bit her bottom lip her gaze went over to his legs, she wanted to ask as silence overtook them, but she debated if it was the right decision.

“It’s not an injury, I was never able to walk”

“Brittle bones, the masters in my land had informed me of such condition. Back in the day, they used to kill babes that seemed to hold such an illness”

“Oh that is what happens here as well, my mother forbade it”

“She sounds like a lovely woman”

“She was”

(Y/n) could deeply empathize with the look that took over Ivars handsome face, how his expression clouded for just a moment, how his jaw tensed and his lips stiffened to a thin line, she could tell that Ivar was not looking at anyone particularly, he was reminiscing as moments that they shared passed through his ice blue hues.

Ivar was pulled back to reality by her gentle hand resting on his thing, usually, he would shove away anyone that dared to touch his legs, but surprisingly he just allowed his hand to find hers and rest on top of it, a part of him yearning for the warmth of her touch, her genuine interest and zest.

“I am certain she is very proud of you, I understand you two probably shared a very close bond”

“We did, but let’s not dwell on such events, you must rest I do not want the rider of such a large beast to fall asleep while they hold my life in the reigns of a dragon”

They smiled at one another, a grin that behind it was resting countless words left unsaid. Ivar was a stranger to the goodwill of people, although with her, as his eyes rested upon her features he felt like his anger vanished, like a wave that held her name washed through his experience with cruelty and even his brothers belittling him was now gone.

“This feels strange”

“I agree princess, but I do not want it to go away”

“Me neither”

She whispered, her eyes lowering down to the ground to avoid the foreign sensation that was Ivars presence. Ivar allowed her to retreat, as he looked around it dawned on him that a few of the others had also taken it to become viewers of their encounter, he could not blame them.

With some difficulty he rose from his seat with the goblet of Ale in his hand, demanding the attention of everyone to realign with their leader.

“It is with great honor that I present to you the princess (y/n) Targaryen, the future queen of her land, she has come to us with a request for an alliance, to fight alongside her army for a land we do not know. Tomorrow I will ride with the princess to see for myself that foreign land, as well as to marry her”

“What?”

“To unite our kingdoms, to rule by her side in her homeland and for her to rule by my side in mine, to give us a reason to help her. Raise your glass, to your future queen”

Requests are open!

[broomsick]

Will the gods be upset with me if I do nothing for an entire year or more? Ive not tried to communicate, or left offerings or anything as im really not able to all the time.. and my mental health has not been all too kind. My nan also has dementia now so just been stressed and drained. Now and again each morning I will look toward my altar and say good morning to them. They are in my thoughts.

Why hello there, friend.

I’m so, so sorry to hear that you’re going through such a difficult time. There’s always mystery surrounding the thoughts of the Gods, the way they feel about our human lives and emotions. While it’s true that we can only grasp at what they think, there is also a great aspect of spiritual practice which we can all rely on to some extent: that is our faith, our instinct— in general, what our gut tells us.

And I personally believe that the Gods care for us, no matter how often we can afford to make offerings, or how often we pray. I believe they care about us in spite of our flaws. I have actually shared more on my thoughts on the topic in this previous post, if you’re interested in hearing the reasons behind this belief. I’ve always thought faith was at the very core of polytheism, after all, none of us practice in exactly the same way, but all of us share one thing in common: belief in the Gods. And what you have been doing, just keeping them in your thoughts, even making the effort of saying hello every morning, is plenty enough already. I feel like the Gods sometimes act towards us like they act towards a friend: a friend wouldn’t blame you, knowing all that you’re going through, right?

Now, I must also specify two things about this particular topic. The first is that I’ve never given credit to the idea that the Gods will get angry at every little “mistake”. Experience taught me that when somebody is trying to convince you that this or that deity is somehow “mad” at you, they’re very probably using a guilt tactic to manipulate you to some extent. And even if they’re not, then they’re still trying to make you adhere to their beliefs, thus placing them in a position of spiritual authority.

As I’ve mentioned, I’m no better than anybody when it comes to guessing at the Gods’ feelings. However, I’ve never heard of, or experienced a deity being somehow angry at one of their worshippers. Sure, this sort of occurrence appears in myth! But I’m always the first to point out that mythology and reality are fully distinct, and it’s important to draw that line when it comes to neo-pagan practice.

I hope you find in your heart that your deities do care for you very much. Sometimes it’s this faith that gets us through such difficult times of disconnect from spirituality. Every one us experiences these moments when we’re so busy we can barely spare a thought for our practice. But it’s nothing at all to feel guilty for. The amount of time we can dedicate to all aspects of our lives is variable. The Gods know this, and I believe they also know of our struggles as humans.

I hope you know that you’re so very resilient and strong, and that I admire you greatly for dealing with all of this, all the while keeping a thought for your spirituality. I hope you’re given all the care and support you deserve, and I believe your deities are right at your side, providing you with guidance and encouragement.

[hana-no-seiiki]

Lmao hi i saw you wanted hsr requests-

(man, its so weird to request off anon im sorry 💀)

I still dunno which characters to choose so its up to you but how about yandere character and an Aeon of Love whos quick to fall in love and adore, but just as quick to throw away things that no longer interest them?

YOU CARVED OPEN MY HEART, CAN’T JUST LEAVE ME TO BLEED !

YANDERE AEONS / VARIOUS! HSR x READER

note: this fic is more of proof of concept rather than an actual fic, if you want a more specific scenario feel free to request one through my asks!

warnings: yandere themes, canon divergence.

status: unedited

“

I met with the Snowbird once.

That was all it took for me to be captured within their spell.

To wish for the ability to fly with their holy being once spring came.

An impossible dream that was.

Yet still its honeyed promises of seeing the snowbird once again lured me into this path.

This path of love and despair.

“

— Pope of the Philian Church.

DATA BANK

DATA LOG 01 - I

[Y/N]. The God of Philandering. Snowbird. The Great Majesty of Romance. Their Wintry Excellency. Avem In Perpetua Fuga.

Aeon of Philia.

Some might call them the Aeon of Love but does love really come with a massive fear of commitment and the ease of which they left their significant others? Many scholars that studied the Aeon think not.

Their fickle, almost apathetic nature however did little to dissuade people and other gods alike from falling in love.

You see, [Y/N] was an expert, quite literally the best, when it comes to persuasion and seduction. In contrast to IX whose presence creates madness, theirs made the normal human being almost fall to their knees in religious fervor. Only those blessed by other Aeons could ever hope to escape or endure such an overwhelming aura.

The other gods themselves weren’t completely immune to their charms. One cannot help but be curious as to how a singular being was able to attain the infatuation of such powerful existences . . .

. . . and who exactly that singular being is.

In any case, as one would expect from an Aeon of Romance, the [Y/N] faith is never short of passionate poetry.

Here’s one I found in the General of Xianzhou’s office of all places. Perhaps he might be a follower of theirs? It is quite laughable to think of the great Jing Yuan dabbling in literature when avoiding duties.

“Your love scorched my mind.

Tortured my soul.

Hollowed my body.

But in this pain,

Thoughts of your presence and light,

Dull the blade you sheathed within me.

I await your return,

and your claim over the heart you’ve carved out of me.”

DATA LOG 2 - ADORETH

Perhaps those scholars were being a bit too harsh. A god of love must have extremely high standards for their partner. Perhaps those partners were simply foolish, delusional to believe they’d be enough for them.

It is a popular theory that all Aeons used to live peacefully amongst one another until the Great Majesty of Romance threw the world into chaos. The youth nowadays have written several essays alluding to their idea that it was what jumpstarted paths such as the Destruction and Elation. No evidence of such happenings have come out so far.

In my opinion? If anything the Aeon of Elation, Aha would be the bringer of chaos not the other way around. I suspect that the bias and warnings taught to the masses against worshipping or even studying [Y/N], has led to this kind of popular belief.

DATA LOG ? ¿ ? - THEE

Why ?

Why is it that they won’t come back ?

I have devoted my entire life to clearing their name. I have spent countless nights agonising on the proper words to use when describing their Wintry Excellency.

Why then would they not praise me ? Why then would they not grace me with their presence once more ? Was it all a mirage ? A tantalising dream made to inflict pain on my soul?

. . . Perhaps it is because I have chosen the wrong path.

. . .

Yes.

Yes it’s all my fault.

I should have devoted my entire life to worship not just studies.

How moronic of me !

A god of love would never be so cruel. No.

They are simply waiting. Waiting for the day, I come to them.

That was where everyone else was wrong. And I . . . will be right.

©️ hana.no.seiiki - yun | 2023

[diacripticcomplex]

[This is probably the only light hearted story I will ever do, obviously this is not a smut, just light hearted vibes]

Yui’s POV:

My first day as a private teacher in a wealthy academy, I was honestly so shocked that I even got this job but nonetheless I am grateful. When I was younger I always thought I would become a nun, growing up in a church I thought it was the most suited path for me, but one day my father and the rest of the Church elders granted me with an opportunity, to teach a bunch of young children in a private academy, my room and board would be taken care of and it was a well paying job, I did not care much for money but I did like helping charities with the money I already have so this would help me in that aspect.

It was the first day I spent the last 2 weeks decorating the classroom. These children are all around the ages of 9-12. They were very young, I hope to teach them kindness and compassion, I remember when I was first given this class, the neighboring teachers made remarks about the incoming students saying they were all rich, evil, selfish demons. I hope that is not the case, but even if it is, they're just kids they can easily be taught something new and unlearn wrong.

I was on a little chair, putting up a banner. It might be somewhat cheesy but I thought it was adorable. "Ha! What a lameeee banner." a childish voice shrieked mockingly. I turned my head slightly and saw a boy, he had spiky red hair at its ends, he had lively green eyes that look just like a cat's eyes, they were adorable but he already seemed like a nightmare. "Are you a student in this class?" I ask him to try to redirect his comment. "Yep, I'm the great Ayato Sakamaki!" he said, his confidence through the roof, his energy was up there but refreshing. Sakamaki, looking at the attendance I noticed there were quite a few Sakamaki boys in this class, perhaps they were all related? "Ayato, do you have any siblings?" I asked him, he nodded, then started to name them all whilst counting with his fingers. "Kanato, Laito, Shu, and Reiji..oh and Subaru but I haven't met him yet." he explained, which confused me, he has a brother who he hasn't met yet..? "Woah~ Look at this class Kanato, it's nice and colorful and we have such a cute teacher, hello Teacher." Two boys entered the classroom, the one with emerald green cat-like eyes spoke. I smile warmly at the boys. "What are your names?"I asked them, looking towards the boy with the purple hair more, he had an interesting safety teddy bear, it was so cute. The boy with emerald green eyes spoke however in his stead. "I am Laito and this is my brother Kanato, oh I see you already met Ayato, we are all triplets." Laito states, I keep these things noted, just in case it was a part of my training. "Can I sit already?" Kanato asks, I smile and nod at him. "Yes of course, find the seat with your name on it." All 3 of them go to their assigned seats. I feel bad they were all so far apart from each other but they will be able to hang out during lunch break.

"Subaru, this is the classroom." I heard some way say with such a formal tone his voice when I looked at him was just a kid, he had raven hair and glasses, next to him was a shorter boy with pale skin and hair, eyes red like blood, and a taller blonde boy who looked like a prince. The boy with glasses looked right at me and bowed his head slightly. "Ahh that's not needed, please find your assigned seats." I told them and I noticed the raven haired boy went to the seat of Reiji, he sat right next to Ayato. They did not look alike at all but they had the same last name and Ayato did say these were his siblings. The seats of Subaru and Shu were sat in as well, they were right next to each other. “Ayato, these are all of your brothers?” I asked him, he nodded. “I guess so, you must be Subaru, what’s up?” He shouted from across the room. Subaru looked at him and his cheeks flushed slightly then he looked away, I still didn’t understand why he said it like that. “Um Ayato, I’m confused how come you never met Subaru…even though you are brothers?” I asked him. But before he could speak the blonde prince looking boy named Shu spoke “you clearly never heard of half siblings..dimwit” he said harshly, woah kids really can say crude things sometimes.

A few more boys came in, 4 came in at the same time they clung to each other. “We’re the Mukami siblings, nice to meet ya teacher~” a spunky blonde haired boy exclaimed. I liked his enthusiasm. “Please take your assigned name seat” I tell them in a welcoming tone and they do do. It was an interesting dynamic. Reiji, Ayato and the boy Ruki said in a desk row together, Shu, Subaru, and a boy named Yuma all sat together, Kanato sat next to Azusa, he had strange marks on him I hope everything is okay at home… and Laito and Kou sat together. Supposedly there was supposed to be 3 more students perhaps they were lost..? When I started to lose hope, 3 boys came in one had long white hair and the other short spiky strawberry blonde they both had similar eyes, they must be brothers, and the boy without a last name Kino, he refused to sit in his assigned seat.

“Welcome students my name is Ms. Komori, I will be your teacher for the year, it’s a pleasure to meet you all.” I say warmly. The silence was killer…”hm let’s start with an ice breaker, everyone say their name and something they like to do, I’ll start my name is Ms. Komori and I like to read.” I say, causing some of them to scoff and snicker. “How lame, I’ll go now! My name is Ayato and I like to win cause’ I’m the best at everything!” He says, I couldn’t help but notice this kid has some serious narcissistic tendencies. The next boy went “My name is Sakamaki Reiji and I enjoy reading as well, but I prefer to conduct experiments.” He states, well he will definitely like the science projects I have planned then. “I’m Mukami Ruki, I like reading as well.” He says briefly, I noticed him holding a book. “Oh what book is that?” I asked him, he looked dead at me and said it wasn’t my business…okay then.

“Laito here, pleasure to meet you Miss Bitch, my favorite thing is to watch girls change” when he said that my eye twitched a little, he’s like 10 years old saying things like that…what on earth is wrong with this child..? “I’m Kou, I like to dance” he says, I smiled at him. I think Kou would like the talent show aspect I have planned for the future. “Azusa…I like pain…” the next boy said. “Okay I think we have to talk about this briefly, you shouldn’t like pain it is not a good thing” I tell him, he looks at me confused.

“Alright kids, ice breaker is over, don’t be upset I’m sure we will all get to know more about each other, for now I want to focus on this lesson. You all need to understand that pain is never a good thing, in life we must do good things to make other people feel happy and comfortable, hurting ourselves does damage both in the heart and the mind.” I say and point to both my heart and mind. “Father didn’t tell us our new teacher was a simpleton human…” Reiji said to Ayato, causing all the boys to snicker. These kids really are something else….

[hyperfixatedfandomer]

Can you write a snippet of Quaritch following through with his version of “an old school ass whipping”

Nothing too serious because I don’t think he’d abuse Spider but I do think he’d be the type of parent to resort to physical discipline if pushed enough.

In the exchange between him and Spider, Spider does not seemed alarmed with fear and is actually a little cheeky. I think he’s used to adults just letting him get away with things.

I think it’s be interesting to read Spider’s reaction to an adult/authority figure disciplining him (whether physical or some other punishment) for not following instructions rather than just checking to see if he has not been harmed.

It doesn’t have to relate to him running off which is where Quaritch uses the threat. It could be anything.

Wish granted!✨

TW; none

Arrow to the heart

.

“UGH! Did y’all ever even wash these before??”

“Not since they were put here.” Miles responded nonchalantly, reading the latest report off his holotable as he lay in the bunk opposite of the shower entrance.

“This is disgusting.” Spider grimaced, his back aching from labour.

It must have been about seven hours since the dreadful words of an incoming punishment were spoken, yet it felt more like an eternity as Spider was been tasked to clean the floor of every room in the recom barracks with only a rag and soap. If hell existed — this had to be it.

“How…” The boy breathed, letting his arms rest minutely, slumped on the foamy tiles. For once, he was thankful to be forced into an ugly shirt and camo-pants. “How much do I have left?”

“A lot less if you didn’t yap all the time.” Miles, yet again, responded without giving his son prisoner as much as a look.

“No, seriously. How many rooms?”

The recom let out a heavy sigh, as if he was the one hunched over the tiles with rubber gloves. “Five. You’ll do toilets next.”

Spider groaned in misery, before taking a deep breath to steady himself and keep working. Maybe Miles would eventually get tired of seeing him like this and let it go.

“Oh, and don’t think I’ll let you off easy. You’ll be scrubbing these floors until you’re done with them all. No breaks.”

Socorro snapped his head towards him. “Are you crazy!? These are avatar-sized! The place is big as fuck! I’ll be stuck here until morning!”

“Then you’ll have to quit talking and get back go work.”

Spider growled. “This is child abuse.”

“You wanna take me to court?”

The blonde’s growls turned to a hiss as he got back to the task, fuming. What the hell was this old bastard’s deal?

“All this…” Spider grumbled as he slid the soapy rag over the floor. “Just for me calling you an asshole…”

“Oh no.” Miles snapped, his keen ears catching Socorro’s low mumbling form across the room. “All this is for you saying that shit in front of my superiors. You crossed a line. I could let your attitude slide in the forest, but not in public. You will not put me in a spot like that again. Got that?”

“Yes sir.”

“No you didn’t. Keep scrubbing.” Miles commanded, going back to reading. “How in lord’s name did those lab rats even tolerate you?”

With no warning, these last words hit Spider like an arrow to the chest. Out of nowhere, he got a strong urge to take that damned rag and strangle the colonel with it. “I was very well-fucking-behaved, thank you.” He spat.

“You? Behaving?” Quaritch smirked, raising a brow. “Nonsense.”

“You think you know me? That you got me all figured out?”

“You’re not as mysterious as you wanna be, kid.” The recom side-eyed him. “You’re an audacious, lazy brat who was never taught manners because those traitors had no patience to raise a proper man.”

Spider laughed in disbelief. “Oh. Really?”

“I didn’t say you could stop. Quit whining, or I’ll assign the B-squad’s barracks as well.”

“Wh-NO!” The boy barked, standing and throwing the wet rag in the bucket. “We’re NOT done!”

Miles rolled his eyes. On some level, he could feel that this outburst was coming, but held out hope that they’d skip Spider’s desperate self-affirmations. He’ll let him talk it out and add onto the punishment after the rant is over, which was the only reason why he didn’t plan on tunning the kid out.

No other reason at all.

“You think I’m like this at home? I’m not! I worked day in an out at hell’s gate and then high camp, to help those I care about and keep hem safe!” He raised his voice. “I’ve always tried to be quiet, stay out of the way, keep to myself! The rest of those ankle-biters didn’t come close!” He stepped closer to the stone-faced colonel. “I’ve always did my best, alright?!”

His voice wavered, and Quaritch’s ears flicked down instinctively. Was the kid getting emotional? “If you were so damn good then why the hell had no-one scrambled to get you back yet?”

His implication hung in the air, simple and clear; that it was Spider’s fault that there was yet not a single rescue attempt made.

Another arrow to the heart.

“You know why.” Socorro spat.

“No I don’t. We’ve spent so much time squatting in the mud miles from Bridgehead yet no one has come looking fo you.”

Spider’s breath hitched.

“Maybe, get this…” Quaritch stood. “You’d be favoured more if you were less of a pain in the ass.”

Of course, the recom did not believe his words. Not fully, but he needed to deliver the punishment in a way his ward would remember. Spider was overdue for a reality check.

Except…the cheer pain in Socorro’s eyes in response to his words suggested otherwise. Quaritch was suddenly rooted in place, pinned under his gaze.

“How…how dare you.” He spoke, his voice shaking. “I was good. I did all I could and then more.” Water began pooling in his big eyes. “I did everything. I was useful, convenient, invisible!” His hands balled into fists. “I did everything they asked! I was at their beck and call! Always!”

Miles felt his heart sink with every sentence. Shit. Alright. Perhaps he overdid it with the cutting words.

“I never complained! I learned to treat my own cuts and bruises! Learned to power through the broken bones! I’ve never been a burden!!!” He screamed.

After weeks, months of staying tight-lipped about his past, all this new information threw Miles’s mind into a spin.

“Spider—”

“You wanna know why I called you an asshole in front of those corporates!? Because you’re a fucking monster!!!” But Socorro could not longer be stopped. “You threaten and hurt and kill and it never bothers you, so why the FUCK should I respect you!?!” He sniffed, throwing off his gloves. “All you’ve ever done is screw me over! It’s YOUR fault no one cared how good I was or that I’m gone, because I’ll always carry YOUR blood. FUCK YOU!” He roared, before sobbing and storming out of the barracks, leaving Miles to stew in what he had just heard.

He looked at the wet rag lying on the tiles, the silence deafening and his tail limp.

Damn it.

Why did his heart ache so?