#and it suits Sydney and Carmy's characters so well

[cosmic-light-fics]

@sashafiercest What a whirlwind of a chapter this was.

Initial reactions are always tough for me because of the off-the-wall nature of my thoughts comingling with my desire to sound coherent, but there is no way I am going to be able to put off this comment for a later day. I simply can't do it. Not when the emotions after finishing the first read-through are so visceral.

There is so much in this chapter and to me it all hinges around what is never said, what is never outright addressed but is always present. The whole chapter is devoted to tip-toeing around the brunt of Carmy's grief. It's a freaking ticking timebomb and it's devastating to see play out in real time, along with Sydney trying to navigate her way through it all. The pacing is so immaculate. So superb. I caught myself having to slow down multiple times to fully stay in the rhythm of the story rather than tear through it all, rip it off like a band-aid covering a fresh wound. This whole chapter is akin to a pot boiling over, left to simmer for the whole day and then all of a sudden the heat gets notched up and everything is spilling over. All of Carmy's pain and anger and frustration, sadness and grief and terror and helplessness. Even during the times it felt we were out of the woods, like them taking a bath, I just knew the crescendo hadn't been reached yet.

I am so glad this was written through Sydney's perspective. It truly draws out the helplessness of the situation. Her trying to fix it, trying to help Carmy was so well done. It was messy, done in her own way, didn't seem to have much of impact on her end but we get that confirmation from Carmy of just how much she is holding it all together for him.

My absolute favorite part had to be the almost sex scene. I can't imagine how the process of writing that scene went for you. It hit like a ton of bricks to the back. Totally unexpected. Like being doused with the coldest water imaginable. I can't find the words to describe how sobering the scene was and how much it's intended effect landed so well. What a way to slap Carmy out of his avoidance. The absolute horror of it all. I literally slapped my hand over my mouth and GASPED. And the fact that it was the first time Sydney experienced his lashing anger is the cherry on top of everything else. I know you said you don't like doing angst that much but girl that was so well executed. It cut so deep.

No surprise but I loved everything about this chapter. The deep-seated love between Sydney and Carmy, and the fact that this whole chapter is a testament to what they haven't said yet is everything. It's all about the actions. I love how you never shy away from the gross aspects of human nature. If anything your approach to them makes me appreciate them more and hate the fact that I feel programmed to recoil from instances of vomit and tear-induced snot. It really solidifies the reality of their relationship and, personally, I feel it adds more depth to the genre and culture of romance. This is the epitome of "through thick and thin" and I freaking love that I get to read it.

[whenmemorydies]

The Claw, The Scrunchie and The Prayer Card

What - or who - do the hair claw, the scrunchie and the prayer card that appear in season 3 represent? I think I know, and no its not Claire or Mikey. Join me for an unhinged trawl through all 3 seasons of The Bear (with screenshots cos you know I love me some evidence).

A few weeks ago, @vacationship posed a fascinating question about the hair claw seen in Carmy's apartment in 3x01 Tomorrow:

This question branched off into many lovely and thought-provoking discussions including this post from @thoughtfulchaos773 about the significance of hair accessories and this post from @moodyeucalyptus on Catholicism and miracles. Both posts refer to another memento that we are shown in Carmy's apartment, a scrunchie, which we see at the end of 3x09 Apologies:

A particular theory that intrigued me was that the hair claw from 3x01 morphed into the scrunchie we see at the end of 3x09, as one of the many sleights of hand/instances of legerdemain in season 3, potentially indicative of a softening of Carmy's self-loathing and/or guilt (contrasting the hardness and teeth of the hair claw with the gentle grip of the scrunchie). I think the assumption behind this theory was that the hair claw was associated with Claire (in fact we see the hair claw in 3x01 sandwiched between scenes of Claire at home looking forlorn in bed and then later at work in the hospital) and the scrunchie being associated with Sydney as she's often seen wearing scrunchies throughout the series.

I was so intrigued by the sleight of hand theory that I went on a very ill-advised search throughout all three seasons to find these hair accessories (ill advised because it took ages and it meant sitting through every Claire scene in this show lol) I did not find either the exact hair claw or scrunchie (womp) but I did find the characters who'd be most likely to wear these items. Notably, Claire never wears a hair claw or a scrunchie throughout the show.

So who does?

Hair claw: Natalie

(Note: Tiffany is seen wearing a hair claw once in 3x09 Apologies but I think this is just a coincidence. There's no reason for Tiffany's hair claw to be in Carmy's apartment so I'm going to disregard this possibility here. If anyone has a reason why I shouldn't though, let me know!)

Scrunchie: Sydney

Now Carmy's personal interior design style is probably best described as...utilitarian? If that? The man has nails in his walls that have nothing hanging on them. He's got storage boxes strewn around his living space. There's the occasional bottle of painkillers and Pepto and a bundle of hanging herbs drying in his kitchen. And of course, his chef's whites and a large pile of culinary texts and cookbooks. Oh yes and denim in his oven. Other than this, we are not shown much of anything in Carmy's apartment that could be said to be overtly personal to him. Which is why the hair claw and scrunchie stand out. We've never seen Carmy wear a hair claw or scrunchie so their presence in his apartment is significant.

Similarly, there's one more memento we are shown in Carmy's apartment that is distinct from the rest of his belongings. This is the prayer card that Carmy pulls out of his suit jacket pocket and places with the scrunchie at the end of 3x09:

In the discourse of the show, this particular prayer card is often associated with Michael, as its presumed that this is the card that was available for mourners to take at his funeral. We also see it during the show edited next to images of Michael or of his last note to Carmy, reinforcing the association.

Note: I've previously misidentified the figure on this prayer card as St John the Apostle (apologies, I saw the lamb and the staff and assumed it was St John! I'm also not a practising Christian - my knowledge of the religion has been obtained entirely passively because...well I live in the West and my history is enmeshed with the history of European Christian colonisation of the majority of the world including the part where my family's historically from. Soz.). The image on this prayer card is actually "Fresco of Jesus as Good Shepherd" by Josef Kastner.

Prayer card: Richie

BUT...after going through the last three seasons again (much easier to do this time around lol), I've come to the conclusion that the prayer card is actually Carmy's memento of Richie, not Michael. This is primarily because prior to 3x09, whenever we are shown this card in the show, it appears either with, near or when someone is talking about Richie. Lets take a look...

So we first see the card in The Beef in 1x01 before shots of Mikey's body in the morgue and of the back of his head as he's cooking: these are memories Carmy is having while Richie is telling a story to The Beef staff and as Carmy finds his prized chef's knife on the floor of the kitchen.

We see the prayer card next in 1x02 Hands during a nightmare that Carmy is having that features a voiceover from Joel McHale's psychotic Chef Fields. Notably, the sequence of images where we see the card is as follows:

The next time we see the prayer card is in 2x01 Beef to the left of Carmy's head on the wall, when Sydney is telling Carmy that Richie does not have an appropriate certification because...he's Richie.

Later in the same episode we see the card again, after Richie tapes up Michael's Fenway poster (that Sydney had previously fallen through):

The prayer card is immediately followed by a shot of Mikey's last note to Carmy:

The next time we see the prayer card is throughout 2x07 Forks, the most Richie-centric episode of the series. This is because we find out that Richie keeps a copy of the card on his bathroom mirror, so he sees it everyday:

Given the above (i.e. the strong physical and visual association between the prayer card and Richie throughout the show), I believe the card represents Richie for Carmy.

So why would Carmy have a prayer card as a memento representing Richie and not an actual personal item of his brother from another mother/"cousin", like it appears he does for Nat and Syd?

I think this is because Carmy’s connection to both Natalie and Sydney is direct. The former is his sister, the latter his soulmate (I'm not arguing re: Sydney, check my metas if you want to fight). It makes sense that the trinkets he has of them would belong directly to them.

But Carmy's connection to Richie is not direct. Richie is cousin to Carmy because he was best friend to Mikey first. Carmy’s relationship to Richie has always been mediated through his relationship with Mikey. In life, Richie would only be in Carmy's orbit because of his proximity to Carmy's brother. In death, Richie and Carmy have been thrown together because of the restaurant that Mikey left to Carmy but where Richie works. As a result of that forced employer/employee relationship, they're also forced to navigate their grief and mourning for Mikey in close proximity. In this context, it makes sense that the memento Carmy has for Richie is emblematic of Mikey, and is also representative of that shared sorrow between the two of them due to Mikey's passing.

So why does Carmy have these mementos in his apartment?

I'm not entirely sure what the answer to this question is, but my hunch is that these mementos represent the three surviving relationships in this show that are the most important to Carmy but that have all been severed to some extent by the end of season 3.

Carmy's nosedive into Michelin Mode, his psychological spiral triggered by grief, his past traumatic work experiences, his family history, his entitlement borne out of his racialisation and socialisation (among other things) all of this has coalesced into Carmy pushing away those closest to him. He's slipping into that pattern of behaviour he described at Al-Anon in 1x08 Braciole where he cut people out of his life. Carmy doesn't recognise this though because physically, these people are around him all the time. He doesn't realise that you can be physically present but emotionally and mentally AWOL. I mean, the man isn't even physically present for his sister after Natalie gives birth to her daughter, Carmy's niece. He has some explaining and making amends to do! And hopefully we see this next season.

Its likely that the framing of the hair claw and the scrunchie on the show (via suggestive editing) has been a sleight of hand/legerdemain: to get us thinking their presence only has to do with Sydcarmy/Claire. And as I've discussed, the prayer card is widely associated with Mikey. I reckon this is also a sleight of hand too, for the reasons I noted above. Storer and co got us focusing on the romance and dead brother tropes while they continue to push the theme of chosen family home. By the end of season 3, the hair claw, scrunchie and prayer card appear as reminders to Carmy (and us) that he needs to fix his relationships with Nat, Syd and Richie, and that the loss of them is haunting him as well.

And so next season, Carmy needs to move through and past this:

And fight like hell for this:

After all, this show is about love in all its forms, but above all, its about the love we fight for, the love we choose.

Alright chef,

Tagging: @vacationship @moodyeucalyptus @currymanganese @thoughtfulchaos773 @brokenwinebox @espumado @tvfantic87 in case you're interested but keen to hear from whomever wants to discuss!

[nolita-fairytale]

so my darling | sydney adamu x the restaurateur (unnamed male oc) | oneshot

summary: sydney falls in love with a restauranteur (one played by pedro pascal). song title inspired by so my darling by rachel chinouriri.

warnings: swearing, unnamed ocs, talking about sex, use of she/her pronouns, no use of y/n, two original characters (the restaurateur & the pastry chef), the pastry chef is the mc from make my heart surrender, wong kar-wai films, ambiguous ending

wc: 4.8k

a/n: ok, so i'm not entirely back, but this photo of pedro pascal and ayo edebiri at the sag awards quite literally haunted me and made me write something about it. also i've really missed all of you. and i've missed these characters. and i miss this world. this oneshot feels really different to me than a lot of the things i've written for the bear and there isn't much inclusion of the other characters because i really, really wanted to write from sydney's perspective. it's limited storytelling in the way that it's mostly her experience of being charmed by the restaurateur but i had a lot of fun with this and i hope you enjoy. fic inspired by the pic below:

nolita fairytale's masterlist

Sydney doesn’t expect to win, yet her name is called out anyway, followed by the phrases: “James Beard Rising Star Award” and “the winner is.” 

Most of the night is a blur. Somewhere between winning the biggest award of her career to accepting congratulations from the best chefs in the world, Sydney’s still trying to gather her bearings. It’s not until Carmy’s girlfriend, the woman who picked up her life and moved to Chicago to be with her exec chef, tugs at her arm. 

Sydney doesn’t mean to completely reduce the woman to just Carmy’s girlfriend. 

She’s also become many other things: the head pastry chef at The Bear, a colleague, and most importantly, a best friend. 

“Hey, Syd! Carm wants to introduce you to someone,” she says, before giving Sydney a chance to politely excuse herself from the previous conversation she’d found herself in. 

As The Pastry Chef leads her away from her present company, Sydney follows with a soft smile, half expecting it to be yet another celebrity chef—someone in Carmy’s network that reminds her why she began working at the Bear when The Bear was The Beef. 

What she doesn’t expect is to meet him, her breath hitching in her throat as she and her best friend who’s dragged her over here, find themselves standing across from Carmy and an unfamiliar man.

“I see a congratulations is in order,” the man greets her, tipping his half-empty glass of champagne in her direction with a smile so charming she has to do a double take. 

“To this year’s newest Rising Star chef.” 

He’s handsome, sure—but that’s not what catches her eye.

The first thing Sydney notices about the man is his soft, dark curls—much cleaner than the unruly ones that belong to her head chef. He wears thick-rimmed rectangular glasses and has a perfectly groomed mustache that surprisingly works for him. It’s not usually her kind of thing, is all. In a white button down, perfectly tucked into his pristine black trousers, it's somehow still black tie with a touch of rebelliousness for forgoing a tie and a proper suit jacket. 

He can’t be much older than Richie, she thinks to herself. What? Ten… maybe fifteen years older than herself? 

Reality comes back to her, as she realizes that she hasn’t said a word, wondering just how long she’s spent caught up in her own head over the handsome stranger. 

“Oh uh, yeah. Thanks,” Sydney replies with a smile and a nod, snapping back to her senses. 

“Syd, this is… probably one of the few mentors I’ve had in my career. Well, him and Terry, ‘course,” Carmy begins to introduce, shyly. He’s not used to the one doing the introductions. “From Malibu.” 

“Fairest Creatures,” the man clarifies with a hearty chuckle, citing the name of the restaurant they worked at together. “Way, waaaaaaay back in the day.”

Right. 

The restaurant that put Carmy on the map, winning himself the same award that year that Sydney’s won tonight. 

That’s when it clicks for her.

An old mentor of Carmy’s. 

Not Terry.

And no, not that one—not the asshole from New York—to put it nicely.

The Restaurateur from California.

“No, I-. Yeah! I’m a big fan of your work, yeah,” Sydney scrambles to say, a glimmer of recognition in her eyes as she reaches out to shake his hand. 

“Carmy was one of my early boys—look at him now. The student has far surpassed the teacher,” the chef adds, implying he’s mentored plenty of then-up-and-coming chefs back in the day.

“Oh thanks, but uh. Nah, I don’t know about that,” Carmy mutters, quick to brush off the older chef’s compliment. 

Sydney can feel The Pastry Chef nudge her playfully, letting out a chuckle in response. The two exchange glances as Sydney follows her gaze from Carmy to his mentor. 

“Oh they’re just being modest. Don’t think I’ve ever met two humbler chefs than these two,” the pastry chef adds with a playful eye roll, shooting her lover a look that doesn’t go unnoticed. “Which… if you ask me, is practically unheard of in this industry so… I consider us lucky, Syd.” 

Sydney lets out a small, nervous laugh in agreement, before raising her own champagne glass to her lips as she finds herself, suddenly, parched. 

*

She sees him again, weeks later, when the pomp and circumstance of winning a James Beard award has almost died down. She’d been quick to assume that, like many other chefs that weekend, he’d only been in town for the award ceremony, but as Sydney listens to the man tell Carmy that he’s moved to Chicago for “the foreseeable future,” she wonders why she never asked in the first place. 

The Restaurateur had come in to say hello, for a meal, and Carmy had quickly declared that it would be on the house—eager to feed the best mentor he ever had in his California fine dining days.

“Yeah, I’ll be steppin’ in for Cuadros… when he goes on paternity leave… and we’re talking about expanding—what that could look like. Well, you know how it goes, Carm. Right now I’m just hangin’ out, helping out where I can between the two restaurants he’s got now,” he explains to Carmy with a nonchalance, as if he’s not a restaurateur whose reputation precedes himself. 

“Ah, man. That’s cool. Well, you let us know if you need anything. I’ll give you mine and uh… Syd, you cool if I give him your number too?” Carmy asks, catching Sydney off guard. 

“What do you-, I mean-?” Sydney begins to ask, unable to hide her surprise. 

“Since he’s new to the restaurant scene here in Chicago. Can help each other out, you know?” Carmy returns, a hopeful look in his eyes.

“Yeah, I guess I-. Sure,” Sydney nods, forcing a small smile in an attempt to shake the ‘deer-in-headlights’ look she’s sure her face has involuntarily contorted itself into. 

She watches her head chef carefully, as Carmy continues to interact with the restaurateur in a way that she’s never seen before. She’s never seen him this eager to try to impress someone—hell, sometimes she wonders if Carmen thrives on pretending like he doesn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks—so it’s sends her head spinning as she tries to reckon with this newly-revealed side of her business partner.

“That means a lot. Thank you–the both of you,” The Restaurateur replies, genuinely, bringing her back into the conversation.

“Sure,” Sydney manages to get out, still caught up in her head—exploring this new side of Carmy she has yet to see. “Anything for a friend of Carmy’s.” 

“I’m at Amaru most of the time these days,” the restaurateur continues, his eyes shifting from Carmy then back to Sydney as he adds one last thing. 

“You should stop by sometime.” 

*

They exchange a few texts here and there, but it’s all business. 

Who’s your preferred vendor for kitchen towels? 

You guys see success with extended weekend hours? 

Thoughts on being open on Monday?

“He likes you,” The Pastry Chef insists one day, in between lunch and dinner service. Sydney quickly shoves her phone back into her apron pocket, as if she’s a kid again—one who’s gotten caught texting in class. 

“What? He does not! I-. This is-, it’s not-, we are two professionals… talking shop,” Sydney dismisses, because it’s easier to push those thoughts aside than to entertain them.

“Syd. He could be texting Carm but he’s texting you,” the her friend continues, completely and utterly unconvinced. Sydney finds herself on the receiving end that says, ‘cut the bullshit’ as The Pastry Chef continues. 

“Even if it is… just about work, I think it says something that he’s texting you, Syd. I mean, do you know how long it took me and Carmy to-.” 

“Okay, but not all of us are you and Carmy!” Sydney interjects, letting out an uncomfortable laugh as a means to break the tension. 

Off her look, her friend just chuckles with a shake of her head, reminded of a time that she too could live this far in denial. 

“If you say so,” The Pastry Chef resigns herself, accepting that she won’t make much progress on this one today. 

She waits a beat, focused on cleaning up her station as Syd unconsciously checks her phone to see if there’s a notification from a certain someone yet. 

“When are we going? To his restaurant, I mean,” The Pastry Chef speaks up again with a quirked eyebrow. 

Could she really have noticed that? Syd wonders. 

This time, Sydney only groans in response with a mumbled, “Fuck off. I am sick of you,” earning a bigger laugh this time from her pastry chef friend. 

But the conversation seems to be the push she needs. It only takes a week or so longer for their days off to align, and Sydney’s the one bringing up the idea: that they should do a happy hour at Amaru to “show support” (and nothing else — really, no ulterior motives at all). 

The Pastry Chef is more than enthusiastic about the idea, easily suggesting that they make it a girls’ night. 

Which is how Sydney finds herself here, seated between her two biggest cheerleaders, Sugar one side of her, and her pastry-chef-colleague-turned best friend, at the bar of the Pan-Latin American neighborhood spot. She’s sure that Sugar was recruited for said girls’ night, in an attempt to get a second opinion on whether the handsome, older restaurateur is or is not in fact, into her. 

She doesn’t hate the idea of it, for the record, but she wonders if they’re reading this all wrong—hesitant to get her hopes up.

But after the first plate—a gift from the kitchen—and the aperitif sent their way, both on the house, Sydney can only assume that The Restaurateur has something to do with it. 

Of course, it’s easy to chalk it up to good hospitality. After all, hadn’t they done the same when he visited The Bear, a few things on the house Carmy insisted they send out? Isn’t it customary? 

Sydney thinks back to how easily Carmy had given her number to the older chef, eager to extend as much support as possible to his previous mentor as he transitioned into the Chicago market. 

But he wasn’t texting Carmy all that much. Just her. 

She tries not to brush off yet another excuse: because she’s the CDC, not Carmy; because maybe he thinks Carmy, as the exec chef, doesn’t have the time when she does. Syd thinks she could go on and on like this, and instead, for a split second, she allows herself to think that maybe, just maybe, it’s because her friends aren’t all that wrong about this. 

“You’ll have to forgive me. I wanted to come say hello earlier, but. Well, you know how it goes,” The Restaurateur says, earning the attention of all three women. While he acknowledges both of her friends warmly, he makes sure to he’s look at Sydney as he concludes with: 

“I’m glad you came.” 

“Oh, yeah. Thank you for everything. Seriously. Everything’s been amazing,” Sydney answers, wondering why it suddenly feels five degrees warmer inside of the restaurant.

Sugar snickers and the knowing look shared between her and The Pastry Chef doesn’t go unnoticed. 

She just might have to kill her best friends later for this. 

The Restaurateur smiles, and with a polite nod of his head, mutters a ‘thank you’ before her friends chime in with compliments, kudos, and their own respective ‘thank yous’ for the superb hospitality. Syd listens as he picks The Pastry Chef’s brain on their newest dessert addition, while Sugar enjoys what feels like a well-deserved second margarita. As The Restaurateur explains the most recent dishes he’s added to the menu since taking over as CDC, she notices that somehow, his focus and attention always seem to return to her. 

He can’t visit for long, The Restaurateur apologizes—it is a busy night of service—and before she knows it, he bids his goodbyes before disappearing to the back of the house for the rest of the evening. 

“Well he definitely likes you,” The Pastry Chef declares, as soon as he’s out of earshot. 

“Oh. So obvious,” Sugar adds with a knowing smirk as the two exchange the exact same glance from earlier

“I’m gonna kill you guys,” Sydney mutters, her head hanging low as she feels a heat rush to her cheeks. She can’t make eye contact with either of them—not right now—or she might just burst into flames. 

“Well, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you! That’s for sure,” Sugar clarifies, earning a nod of agreement from The Pastry Chef. 

“See! This is what I’ve been telling her since… shit, since he came to The Bear a few weeks ago!” the pastry chef exclaims, sharing another looking with Sugar. “I think he likes you and I think you like him.” 

Sydney opens her mouth to say something, but instead, just lets out an exasperated sigh, earning another round of giggles and exclamations of ‘I knew it!’ from her best friends. 

They don’t stay for much longer, knowing they’re all due back at the restaurant in the morning. The three women say their goodbyes before parting ways, and as Sydney sits on the train, on the way home with her phone on do not disturb, she notices a few notifications waiting to be read.

A text from Carmy about the prep list. 

The pics from tonight waiting for her to open in the group message labeled: Girlies.

And then, from the Restaurateur…

Thanks for bringing friends! It was great to see you. 

There’s a familiar heat that warms her cheeks as her fingers race to reply:

Thank you for everything. The meal was incredible. 

She waits before adding:

I’m glad we stopped by. 

And almost instantly, there’s a reply: 

Come back any time. :) With or without friends. 

*

Come back any time. With or without friends. 

The words linger in her head over the next few days. She lets them settle in, tossing them back and forth in her mind, while holding what feels like a fragile kind of excitement in her hands that’s somehow seemed to have buried itself deep inside of her. 

So he is flirting with you, she thinks to herself, coming to the conclusion that her friends were perhaps right about The Restaurateur. 

She doesn’t want to completely misread the situation, but she’s not sure how else she should interpret it either. 

It takes Sydney two more weeks to work up the courage to go back to Amaru on her day off that week. Part of her wonders whether it’s been too long—if she’s missed her chance—and part of her knows that in the business they’re in, the days blur together, and two days become two weeks, become two months, and that he probably hasn’t even noticed that’s been that long. Her and The Restaurateur are both on Kitchen Standard Time, right? She’s not sure what takes over her, but she’s somehow mustered up the cajones (she can practically hear Tina’s voice in her head as she hypes herself up) to show up, this time, without friends. 

Her risk does not go unrewarded, when he comes out to say hello. This time, he’s not alone, introducing her to his soon-to-be-business partner, Chef Cuadros, the owner of Amaru and his other venture, Bloom. They exchange pleasantries and congratulations (you know, over the huge fucking deal of an award she’s just recently won) before he pats The Restaurteur on the back, excusing himself back to the kitchen. 

The Restaurateur chuckles, noting how much he’s looking forward to joining Cuadros’ restaurant group. 

“Rodolfo’s a great guy,” The Restaurateur sighs, contently. 

“Yeah, he seems great,” Sydney agrees, almost just to be polite.

“Yeah. Really leads by example. Rare to find that in this industry,” he chuckles, before changing the subject. 

“Speaking of. Cuadros is closing up tonight which means I’m off, starting now.” 

“Oh?” 

“Yeah. You wanna get a drink?” 

She doesn’t even have to think about it. 

“Yeah. I uh-, I’m in.” 

*

“It’s devastating!” The Restaurateur declares, the passion evident as the words escape his lips. 

“I mean, the transitions are a little choppy. And even they can’t take away the fact that: It. Absolutely. Without a doubt. 100% ruined my life,” Sydney wholeheartedly agrees, completely captivated this conversation—one that she finds incredibly sexy.

“I cry. Every single time,” the man that sits across from her says, a dopey smile plastered to his face and a heat to his cheeks from the second whiskey on the rocks he’s nursing.

“Every single time!” Sydney emphasizes, just to drive the point home. 

“Because, well-, I mean, they just can’t catch a break! Always just a moment too late. It’s like… well, it’s like they’re never supposed to end up together in the first place,” The Restaurateur clarifies, in reference to what about the film is so goddamn devastating. 

Syd nods with a sigh, examining the idea in her head cautiously, knowing that he’s right—even if she doesn’t want him to be. 

A beat. 

She leans in, the corners of her lips beginning to turn up into a smile. 

“Have you seen Chungking Express?” she asks, because she’s ready to start this whole thing over again. 

“Have I seen-? Are you-, of course I’ve seen Chungking Express,” the Restaurateur answers, building on their shared excitement about finding common ground outside of the kitchen. “I love Wong Kar-Wai so much I even put myself through My Blueberry Nights.” 

“Okay, chill. It’s not a competition,” Sydney jokes, earning a full bellied laugh from The Restaurateur. 

“You’re funny,” he states, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he smiles back at her. 

Her heart skips a beat, her breath caught in her throat. 

The way he says it is genuine. It’s real. It feels… more earnest—more intimate than what should exist between two colleagues.

Then again, she didn’t exactly say ‘yes’ to drinks thinking it was just as colleagues.

“I-,” Sydney hesitates, scrambling to find the right words when it feels like so many of them could burst out of her at any minute. 

Instead she settles on, “Thanks,” feeling more like Carmy than she’s ever felt in her life. 

There it is again—that flutter in her belly. 

This man is most definitely flirting with her, a thought that only mildly causes her to panic. 

The moment feels almost too tender for either of them. Sydney shifts nervously in her seat while The Restaurateur takes another sip of his whiskey, before clearing his throat. 

“I uh. I should probably get going. It’s uh… yeah. It’s getting late,” Sydney says, finding the words to excuse herself. 

She’s not sure what she wants out of this—it’s maybe why she takes the out in the first place, thinking it may be best to end the evening here. Tonight was… more than she expected it to be, and she’s torn between wanting to stay and wanting to flee the great state of Illinois. 

Better pause while we’re ahead, Sydney thinks.

“Yeah, no, of course,” The Restaurateur agrees, easily, before insisting that he pick up the tab. 

“No, I-, I couldn’t let you-,” Sydney begins to argue. 

“Please,” he insists, his tone once again rendering her once again at a loss for words. “You’ve been more than helpful to us over at Amaru since the minute I got here. This is on me.”

*

Syd spends the next few days going back and forth over whether or not it—whatever the hell the other night was—would be a good idea. She eventually concludes that she can’t stay away—from the high, from the way he made her feel when he insisted on paying the bill (a moment she’s replayed in her head over and over again), from him. She doesn’t tell anyone: not Nat, not The Pastry Chef, and certainly, not Carmy. 

She sends the text before she can chicken out one Saturday night, as she finishes closing up. 

Heading to Green Door Tavern for a night cap. 

He puts her out of her misery, quick to respond as always, almost as if he was expecting her to (or waiting for her to, which, she decides is a little too much of wishful thinking). 

I was just thinking about you! Just rewatched 2046 the other night. Want some company?

Yeah. 

Let me close up. I’ll let you know when I’m on the way :)

The smiley face.

The fucking smiley face. 

She discovers that the same dopey smile finds its way across his lips as soon as he enters the bar. The two of them quickly find themselves in yet another deep conversation about foreign films over, for him, a whiskey on the rocks, and for her, a tequila soda. There’s that same buzzing in the air between the two of them—chemistry, one might call it—as they move from Wong Kar-Wait to Jean-Pierre Jeunet with an ease that feels good to her. 

Really good, actually. 

So good that as soon as Sydney realizes it’s getting late, she doesn’t run in the other direction. She’s not sure what she’s expecting, but she thinks this time, she could stay. This time, she could talk to him till the sun came up, allowing herself to get lost in his soft brown eyes she finds more comforting than she should. It’s not till he brings it up that she notices again that: 

“It’s getting late.” 

“Oh shit. Yeah,” Sydney agrees, reluctantly, because she doesn’t want this night to end. Before she can say anything else, her body moves to get up, just half an hour away from last call. 

The Restaurateur stops her, reaching out a hand that feels warm against hers as she pauses, her eyes locked with his. 

“I hope it’s not uh, well, I hope it’s not inappropriate of me,” he begins, clearing his throat as he pauses. 

“No, I-, I don’t want the night to-, you know… I lost track of time too and I-,” she stammers through, unsure of what she wants to say. 

He smiles warmly, his hand moving to grab hers, as if, in spite of the fact that she can barely get the words out, he understands exactly what she’s trying to say. 

“You can say ‘no,’” he prefaces with, a sure nod as his gaze returns to hers. 

“Can I take you home?” 

And the only response that makes sense to her is the biggest, most enthusiastic:

“Yes.” 

*

Maybe it’s just a one time thing. 

Okay, a three-time thing, considering it happened that night, then two more times after the sun came up.

But to Sydney’s surprise (and delight) he texts her later that day, and the one (three) time thing becomes a one to three times a week kind of thing (schedules permitting, of course).

They fall into a rhythm—and she likes this rhythm—they cook, work at their separate restaurants, and then she lets him fuck her into his mattress like they didn’t just work their own respective twelve-hours shifts. 

The Pastry Chef lets out a laugh, noticing that it’s the third day in a row that Syd’s come in having ‘not gotten enough sleep’ yet still glowing. 

“How’s the sex?” she smirks, shooting Sydney a look. 

In return, Syd rolls her eyes, like she isn’t getting laid on the regular, her best friend waiting patiently for a proper answer. 

She checks over both shoulders to ensure no one else is listening before lowering her voice. 

“It’s the best sex of my life.” 

*

She finally moves into her own apartment a month later.

Of course, it’s a decision she’s made on her own volition and has nothing to do with the hot Restaurateur who seems like he might have some kind of staying power—the same one that’s giving her the big bang of orgasms, but that’s besides the point. 

No, it most certainly has nothing to do with that. 

With Chef Cuadros officially out on paternity leave, The Restaurateur somehow still manages to find the time to help her move in between running two restaurants while developing the concept for a third. 

It’s the first night he spends the night and they sleep—just sleep—since she started seeing him, though they christen the place in the morning. 

“We’ve been talking about a full nixtamalization program. For the new spot,” The Restaurateur explains over breakfast tacos one morning—ones he made for her in her new apartment because, of course, they had to christen the place in more ways than one. 

“Shit. That’d be dope,” Sydney replies, as they continue to bounce ideas back and forth. “Do you think you could pull it off in that small of a space?” 

“I’m so glad you asked!” The Restaurateur grins, before going into a near-monologue about the handful of creative solutions he’s come up with, eager to soundboard a few ideas off of her. 

But Sydney finds herself a little distracted. 

It’s not that she’s not listening… but she’s got something else on the tip of her tongue that she’s been holding back. The Restaurateur is in the middle of breaking down the logistics, contemplating whether or not they could pull off what he’s labeled, Idea B, when Sydney finally musters up the courage to blurt out: 

“I want to cook something for you. Like not in a restaurant, or anything. I mean. Here. I want to cook something for you here.” 

“Yeah?” 

A beat. 

“Yeah, I mean. It doesn’t have to be like-, I don’t know, this big thing or anything. But. You’re always cooking for me,” she explains, unsure of why she feels so nervous as she continues. “I kinda want to return the favor.” 

He only smiles. 

“Then it’s a date.” 

*

It started as the best sex of her life, but it’s as if he’s carved out a place in her life without her noticing, seamlessly woven himself into her life, and she, his, in a way that she can’t imagine what it was like before. 

It simultaneously excites her and makes her feel uneasy. 

Fuck. 

She doesn’t really even know what she should call ‘it’ anyway. 

They haven’t really talked about it—haven’t given it a label—but with shifts at The Bear for her, running two restaurants for him, and fleeting nights spent at each others’ places before it was time to do it all over again, it’s not like they’ve had the time. 

She finds herself in late Fall, almost Winter, all dressed with a newly-done silk press at yet another James Beard fundraiser. Her coat was checked in long ago as she bares her shoulders in the near-off the shoulder, gingham-printed dress, with The Restaurateur by her side. He wears thick-framed glasses, his white-collared shirt unbuttoned low enough that she’s more than ready to head back to her place to undo the rest. 

It practically gives her deja vu—the two finding themselves in an all-too-familiar place—as they stand across from Carmy and The Pastry Chef, sipping on their fancy champagne and making small talk to the best of anyone’s ability. 

“Hope you guys don’t mind. Can we get a few pictures?” the event photographer asks as he approaches, noting that a picture of this year’s Rising Star award recipient is a must on his shot list. 

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Sydney replies, a kindness in her voice even through her discomfort. 

It’s not lost on her that Carmy’s more than relieved that he doesn’t have to be in the spotlight anymore, eager to step out of the way. 

She poses for a few photos solo before both Carmy and The Pastry Chef are encouraged to join in, taking a few more shots with her. 

“And then can we get one of the two of you?” the photographer asks, this time gesturing towards The Restaurateur. 

Sydney opens her mouth to protest, to let him off the hook, because what would that mean? Before she can say anything, The Restaurateur has happily agreed, wrapping an arm around her, his hand on the small of her back. 

She exchanges a look with him, something that says, ‘are you sure?’

He only nods in response, a supportive smile and a softness in his eyes that puts her at ease as if to say, ‘of course.’ 

Instinctively, she reaches for him, his right hand landing softly against his midsection. She feels the warmth of his palm as his hand slides up, landing somewhere above her wrist, making another point of contact. Well, now they certainly look like a couple. 

“Great! That’s great, you two,” the photographer grins after taking a few more shots, his eyes fixed to the screen on his DSLR as he plays back the last few photos. “Thanks so much.” 

What could this mean? 

What could this be? 

She doesn’t have all the answers. 

Not yet, at least.

But she’ll take a wild guess—one that fills her with a certainty that she can feel in her bones. 

Because tonight, he stood proudly by her side—his hands all over her as if she were his, in a photo she’s sure will make it out of Adobe Photoshop—meaning maybe, just maybe, The Restaurateur could be here to stay.

[bearsinpotatosacks]

Episodes of the Bear I want:

The short staffed one- could be the stressful episode of the season, maybe Marcus is off after his mum's died (or he's quit because his focus is not where he thinks it should be), Eva's sick and Tiff is out of town so Richie has to look after her, Nat's just had the baby, and the rest of the team has to deal with it, kind of as a test to how skilled they are and how well they work together to see if they can get through it

Mickey's funeral- Obviously important for all the characters, we can see how they faired, but also more insight into Carmy and his time in New York

The day after Mickey dies- Richie & Nat finding out, having to identify his body, Richie telling the chefs at the Beef, Nat telling Carmy and her mum, just the raw pain of it

I would just love a scene where Eva has to visit the Bear, maybe Tiff is going to pick her up from there. I mainly want this because of how Richie acts different when he's in Dad Mode, and the team who worked at the Beef were so closely knit I'd be surprised if some of the OGs hadn't met her before. I love the scene in s1 ep 2 where, after bickering all episode, Syd gets to see Richie talk to Tiff & Eva and it's the first time we see a different side to him it's *chef's kiss*. So having her walk around the restaurant, compliment Sydney, say something very honest to Carmy, like "My dad says I'm more mature than you" in the way that little kids to, and say that Richie looks like a prince in his suit, is a very cute idea to me

[connecting-the-stars]

Purpose parallel between Richie and Carmy

In the first opening minutes of s2, the show makes a point to slow down the plan making for the restaurant in order to highlight Richie isolating himself surrounded by pictures of the past. Reviewing his life and searching for clear achievements that gave him a sense of purpose and being needed. Carmy initially reacts with a dismissal as everything still needs to be done for the restaurant’s development, but he acknowledges Richie’s ask for support and attempts to sit with him and put everything on pause for a moment.

Richie refers to the book he read that describes how a man with apparent lack of skill, talent, or magnetic personality is being abandoned by his group of friends. It’s understood that Richie really doesn’t see his worth in supporting the success of The Bear, and he tries throughout the season to wedge himself into a position that is needed. But each time he’s proven wrong and - damn - it kinda breaks my heart. Underneath the yelling and posturing, I can see his scramble to make himself useful, in any form, to not be left behind. Yeah, in the process he makes himself an obstacle for the others and trying to show them he’s right is annoying at times, I think it’s written like that to show how desperately he still wants to be there. Depression shows its face in different ways, and his wandering search for purpose within the team is hard to watch. The shot of him cover in filthy black dust/mold from the ceiling and leaning against the white wall, while Fak and Marcus share a fist bump and are lighthearted, makes me want to cry. (S2,E2)

Carmy throughout the season does actually seem like he wants to be supportive of Richie, reminding him of purpose or thanking him for trying to get power back or sending him to stage at the restaurant he’s familiar with. Even with his split focus this season, Carmy had made a point to not get into horrid fights with cousin - for the most part.

The final episode really did flip that narrative. With Richie on the other side of his deep depression, wearing his suit of armor and having the best outlook on life we’ve seen from him ever. Then Carmy trapped in the dark and cold walk-in isolated from every person he cares about and had the responsibility to support. The writing here has made me feel inspired and I’m excited for next season. Richie becoming the foundation to hold the service together under Sydney’s command and approval was wonderful, he being a vital mechanism in kitchen machine. While each character has made strides of growth, personal/professional, it’s Carmy who is left behind. His skills and passion for the restaurant is unnecessary as the staff step up and over him, using their collective efforts to save the service. Fak at front house, Nat helping in kitchen, Sydney running another station in order to get all the food prepared without two prior chefs, Tina killing two stations, Marcus’s desserts pulling through, and Richie calling out the orders.

The finally reversed the purpose theme and paid off so well, later with Carmy and Richie at each other’s throats as one can’t keep anything good in his life and another coming to the realization that self sabotage runs in the bear family. Richie had wanted Claire and Carm to work out the way him and his wife never did. I wonder if s3 will expand upon Carmy learning that everything went well without him contributing?

[zablife]

Lee!!!! I hope you don’t mind me dropping into your inbox to say that I finished s2 of The Bear!! 😬😬 (I figured I’d pop in here so that maybe others would want to chat too! - hope that’s fine!)

That final episode was so intense and left me wanting so much more!!! I was hanging onto every second of it and was so invested in it that I was sitting there like 😟 ‘it’s over?’ once the credits started rolling.

The whole storyline of Carmy getting stuck in the walk-in was so intriguing, and I LOVE how everything came out because of it. His conversation with Tina (and the monologue that followed) struck my heart and then his screaming match with Richie felt like it hurt me as well — also sidebar, can we talk about Richie’s growth this season???? I love what his character became so much….I just hope that Carmy didn’t throw that all away 😬👀 I honestly felt bad for Claire too .. oh Carmy and his self-sabotaging 🙃🙃

And Marcus’ phone at the end?!!!! 😩😩😩 I’m holding out hope that that’s not what they’re making us think that it is because I don’t think I can take seeing him hurt like that!!!

Oh and I’m not even going to get into the conversation between Donna and Pete outside the restaurant……I understood her side but half of me was like: go in there and cheer on your children!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

The only part I wish they would have expanded on was what was going on with Sydney at the end … like I understand why she had to rush out there and what was going on but the whole conversation with her dad was very…meh - I wish we would have seen her go back in and then continue on/see how she came out of it …… but I guess that’s why cliff-hangers are put where they are 😩😩

I’m still super invested in this show and I’m super excited to see where they’ll take it next - the restaurant’s pretty much open now…..will it show us how Carmy and Sydney work not to fuck it up?? Or will it go in another, completely different direction?? Either way I’m in for the ride!!

Sorry for the super long ask …. I just had to jump on here and share my thoughts with you because oh boy was it a rollercoaster!! I’m excited to hear your thoughts on how it all ended!! Thank you for your time, chef!!

K, tysm for sharing your thoughts!! I couldn’t agree more, S2 was so good, but I’m not ready for it to be over either 😭😭 Let’s discuss more below the cut bc *spoilers* and it gets long!

Carmy getting stuck in the walk in so Syd and Richie could seize their moment was amazing 🤩 What a lovely plot twist that perfectly embodies Carmy’s tendency to self sabotage! (I had to giggle a bit as I thought of all the times they told him to call the fucking fridge guy!! 😂😂) It was also the perfect dramatic break up scene with Claire. That voicemail 💔 However, he seems genuinely upset about it so I see him making an attempt at reconciliation at some point in the future, don’t you?

I love love Richie’s growth. How adorable is he when he returns showing off his new style like “I wear suits now!” The whole idea of him remembering the chocolate covered banana story touched me esp bc Carmy always knew he’d be good with people 🥰 And I’m so happy for Tina and Marcus as they continued their culinary journey with enthusiasm. I was afraid we’d lost Ebra tho 😢 and I was smiling so much when he returned! But I really hope all is well with Marcus’ mum. He loves her so much 🥺

Speaking of mums, as usual Donna let her own ego stand in the way of connecting with her children. She’s entertaining and played so well by Jamie Lee Curtis, but I could not despise this narcissistic character more tbh. Thank God for Pete bc he works really hard to pick up the pieces for Sugar. By contrast I actually really liked the scene between Syd and her father, when she goes from vomiting by the bins to hearing his highest praise. That made me teary eyed bc she’d been waiting so long to hear him say he believed in her dream not just being a dutiful, supportive father, but in a genuine, awe filled way.

I have no clue what to expect from a new season, but I’m all in for whatever comes next!

[ihavemanyhusbands]

🎀's Bear Watch Update :

s2 ep 7: RICHIE'S GONNA GET CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!! the actress who plays tiff is stunning fr!! HE GOT HIS SUIT I'M IN SQUEALING!!! RICHIE SINGING LOVE STORY I'M SO IN LOVE!!! He has eva's drawings hung up on the fridge 😭😭 I'm falling down the richie rabbit hole stg

s2 ep8: Hate claire just gotta say it every ep she shows up in, not sydney bringing up trust💀💀, RICHIE IN A SUIT!!! tina walked out to the new hires like she was gonna beat them up, tina ain't lying about richie in a suit!! not their traumas coming up while waiting for the fire test...once again, I HATE CLAIRE

s2 ep9: ...so you weren't gonna tell me about that first scene, had me fast forwarding hella quick. IK MFER'S PANIC ATTACK DIDN'T GO AWAY CUZ HE THOUGHT OF SYDNEY, she deserves better..like me ;) AHH NOT SUGAR INVITING DONNA, them asking if carmen has a phone 💀💀, I love sydney and sugar!! HOLD UP MARCUS?? I'M GASPING HE LOOKED HURT WHEN SHE SAID NO!!! Fuck it I'll allow him to be w/ my first wife. at first I thought sydney and carmen would be a cute couple but rn sydney deserves better then carmen stg

s2 ep10: This ep had me stressed out, NOT CARMEN GETTING TRAPPED IN THE WALK IN!! I feel so bad for sydney, ooh richie running expo!! carmy getting ptsd in the freezer💀💀 Aww richie reassuring fak, damn carmen's banging like an locked up animal. OH GOD DONNA!! not them celebrating while carmy's depressed in the freezer...THE EMPLOYEE WAS SMOKING WHAT?? I love pete!! The chocolate banana!! OH SHIT SHE HEARD CARMEN!! Sydney and her dad are my favorites, not marcus' notifications..

YBDIDNSLAMDBBF girl you’ve been thru a wholeeeee roller coaster!!! 😭😭 I KNOW RICHIE IN A SUIT MY WEAKNESSSSS, and im conflicted on Marcus and Sydney bc i could always tell he was into her but im sure she saw it just as friendship all along. There’s this whole thing always where girls will be nice and friendly but guys see it as flirting… so its tricky. But i think they could’ve been cute together too!!

AND I KNOW THE ENDING WAS SO JEJDIWLSOODKD BUT WE HAVE TO WAIT SO LONG FOR THE NEW SEASON!!! Ugh but Richie in the zone tho 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 i love how much he changed and how everyone truly seems like a family at the end, working like a well oiled machine <33