#and it took Butler literally getting gored to death for Artemis to realize 'oh hey he's kind of important to me' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

little-mouse-adventures · 2 years

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The part in the first Artemis Fowl book where Artemis & the Butlers escape the time stop is actually so funny.

In the past eight hours, Butler has dealt with a loose hostage, a dwarf intruder, a squadron of cops, and a troll, seen his sister be deeply hypnotized, and practically died, and his last thought before falling unconscious after his twelve-year-old boss essentially poisons him by mixing liquor and un-prescribed pills is (understandably) "I am so ready to kill this little shit but won't for my sister's sake."

Whereas Artemis's last thought is just "I'm a bit sad I couldn't tell my friends that I drugged their drinks :( . Oh well. Bottoms up!"

Like...c'mon, Artemis. I know you're twelve, but let's develop a bit of self and situational awareness, yeah?

#Artemis fowl #Artemis: 'oh no my friends may have a headache cause i drugged them :('#Butler: 'i don't care if he is my boss and a child if my baby sister wasn't here this boy would be a goddamn corpse'#it's just so funny to me that Artemis is calling the Butlers his friends #(yes i know there's boatloads of trauma - hah - leading to that b/c Arty never learned proper social skills but w/e)#because literally half an hour ago Artemis didn't even appreciate everything Butler did for the Fowls #and it took Butler literally getting gored to death for Artemis to realize 'oh hey he's kind of important to me'#and then to immediately move on to drugging him and referring to him as his friend in the same sentence #is just really funny to me #Artemis Fowl: Connoisseur of speedrunning Ride-or-Die friendships

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