#and it will not be a me rant unless i sing praises of P'Aof

[bl-inded]

Okay but Mohk is such a green flag. It hurt me to watch this episode 😭. Like we've known for a few episodes now that mohk cares deeply for Day. He himself only put words to that feeling this episode.

Call it whatever you want but he is starting to realise this is more. And it hurts because the thing he struggles with most is if he is wanted. The previous episodes even pointed out that he broke up with Porjai because he didn't want to burden her.

With all that in mind the way he treats August is of someone who genuinely believes in Day's happiness. He doesn't assume he knows better. He doesn't assume he's the one who has to "protect" Day. Don't get me wrong, he's protective. he's always there in case he does need him, but he tries to let him fight his own battles.

There is a certain kind of jealousy that always gets glorified in media. And i get it's appeal. But this kind of jealousy - the kind where you want to be the helper (or the match maker as Mohk says). Where you have to be aware of yourself and your place- that speaks to me way more. It's the kind of jealousy where you aren't claiming ownership, but you're wishing you could be their safe space. And if you can't you will make them that safe space even if it's at the cost of your feelings.

Here's the thing though. Mohk is Day's safe space. He's the first person Day looks for when he feels overwhelmed. His absence at the party clearly affected Day too. Mohk is his shoulder to cry on, his narrator, and his eyes. He's someone Day knows he can rely on without feeling like he's being 'taken care of'. And yet.

Honestly. I get it. You do not get over your lifelong crush that easily. Realising your feelings for one person does not automatically get you guidebook on your own feelings. It's hard every time. (And upto this exact moment I was fully ready to defend August and his actions but the "I kissed him coz I pity him" thing really had me seething)

And Jimmy. Sir. The actor that you are. I felt his pain and confusion throughout the episode. The despair, the longing, the butterflies, the desire. Doc. UNFAIIIIRRRR

Based on nothing but the way he was looking at Day in this scene I knew we were getting a kiss. He manages to pack sooooo much emotion in those eyes I was DYING IN ANTICIPATION OVER HERE. I knew Jimmy and Sea were going to ruin us with this series and I was right. Damn.