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#how do you manage to get soooo much out of your actors
bl-inded · 9 months
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Okay but Mohk is such a green flag. It hurt me to watch this episode 😭. Like we've known for a few episodes now that mohk cares deeply for Day. He himself only put words to that feeling this episode.
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Call it whatever you want but he is starting to realise this is more. And it hurts because the thing he struggles with most is if he is wanted. The previous episodes even pointed out that he broke up with Porjai because he didn't want to burden her.
With all that in mind the way he treats August is of someone who genuinely believes in Day's happiness. He doesn't assume he knows better. He doesn't assume he's the one who has to "protect" Day. Don't get me wrong, he's protective. he's always there in case he does need him, but he tries to let him fight his own battles.
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There is a certain kind of jealousy that always gets glorified in media. And i get it's appeal. But this kind of jealousy - the kind where you want to be the helper (or the match maker as Mohk says). Where you have to be aware of yourself and your place- that speaks to me way more. It's the kind of jealousy where you aren't claiming ownership, but you're wishing you could be their safe space. And if you can't you will make them that safe space even if it's at the cost of your feelings.
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Here's the thing though. Mohk is Day's safe space. He's the first person Day looks for when he feels overwhelmed. His absence at the party clearly affected Day too. Mohk is his shoulder to cry on, his narrator, and his eyes. He's someone Day knows he can rely on without feeling like he's being 'taken care of'. And yet.
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Honestly. I get it. You do not get over your lifelong crush that easily. Realising your feelings for one person does not automatically get you guidebook on your own feelings. It's hard every time. (And upto this exact moment I was fully ready to defend August and his actions but the "I kissed him coz I pity him" thing really had me seething)
And Jimmy. Sir. The actor that you are. I felt his pain and confusion throughout the episode. The despair, the longing, the butterflies, the desire. Doc. UNFAIIIIRRRR
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Based on nothing but the way he was looking at Day in this scene I knew we were getting a kiss. He manages to pack sooooo much emotion in those eyes I was DYING IN ANTICIPATION OVER HERE. I knew Jimmy and Sea were going to ruin us with this series and I was right. Damn.
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moonstruckme · 7 months
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hello love! i know you probably a dumpster load of requests so i apologize for taking your time. but i just had a thought.; james potter is totally the kind of guy to tell his girlfriend he's taken when drunk. like that man is to loyal for his own good. even when his own gf is trying to bring to home, he's just like "no. i've got a girlfriend that I love DEARLY. leave me alone" and when she keeps trying he'd call for sirius for backup😭. don't feel guilty if you don't do this!! i just wanted to share my thought, with or without you writing it! have an AMAZING day or night, and keep being YOU!! you inspire many people whether you believe that or not, it stays true!!!
Thanks sweetheart, love you!
cw: alcohol
modern au
James Potter x fem!reader ♡ 844 words
You find your boyfriend in a corner booth, hanging onto Sirius’ arm and waxing poetic about their school days. 
“They never figured out how we always avoided Minnie whenever she wanted to find us,” he snickers, eyes glimmering. “We were soooo slippery.” 
“I think she knew everything,” says Remus, taking a sip of his drink. You notice there’s not one in front of James; it must have been confiscated. “She just liked us—some of us, that is—” He hides a smirk behind his glass. “—well enough to let us get away with it all.” He spots you and, with a nod, turns his attention to Sirius to give you and James space. 
James humphs noncommittally, confused as to why Remus no longer seems to be entertaining him. 
You come up on his other side, touching his muscled shoulder lightly. “Hey.” 
James turns swiftly, clearing not having noticed you walking over. You’re expecting a smile and a hug and expectant, puckered lips—his usual greeting for you—but instead his eyes narrow behind his glasses, brows twitching together almost imperceptibly.
“Hello,” he says, somewhat stiffly. 
You feel your lips curve into a bemused sort of smile. “Hi, handsome. Ready to go home?” 
He guffaws. Actually guffaws, like you’ve just suggested he go jump in the Thames. “I think not,” he says. “I have a girlfriend.” 
A tiny laugh startles out of you. “Yeah, I’m aware. You alright?” 
Now he gives you a smile. Or his best attempt at one, but James has always been a terrible actor, and the false grin manifests as a grimace. “M’good, thanks.” 
He starts to turn back towards his friends, but you pull on his sleeve. 
“C’mon, Jamie,” you urge. “It’s time to go, yeah?” James turns around, looking truly scandalized now. You give his arm a tug. “Let’s go home.” 
“No,” he insists, firmer than you knew could be managed with a slur. “I told you, I have a girlfriend. She’s waiting at my home, ‘nd I love her very much. Leave me alone.” 
“James,” you laugh. “Honey, it’s me.” 
“Pads.” He turns around, wrapping his arm around Sirius’ shoulders like he needs to hold onto something lest you try and haul him away. “Pads, this woman is trying to take me home. Tell ‘er I have a girlfriend.” 
Your mouth drops open. “James!” 
Sirius turns slowly, raking his gaze over you. He raises an eyebrow, unimpressed. “Get lost, babe. This one’s taken.” 
Then he jolts and cuts a glare towards Remus, who sips from his drink innocently. “Be nice,” he reminds his boyfriend, foot moving back under his own chair. 
Sirius sighs, rolling his eyes. “Prongs,” he says with great reluctance, “this is your girlfriend.” 
Even drunk, James knows enough to be suspicious of his friend when he’s in a mischief-making mood. He squints at Sirius. “My girlfriend s’at home,” he reasons. 
“Your girlfriend is here,” Sirius says evenly, and you can’t blame James for his skepticism; if you weren’t fully aware that you are here, you wouldn’t trust Sirius’ deadpan stare either. 
“I texted her, James,” Remus says helpfully. “She’s here because I told her where we were.” 
Your boyfriend’s lips part, and he turns to you with something between joy and heartache—but the shock of both—written all over his face. “Sweetheart,” he cries, “it’s you!” 
“Yeah,” you laugh, letting him tug you forward by the hips into an awkward hug. You set a consoling hand on top of his head. “That’s what I was trying to tell you.” 
“My sweetheart,” he mumbles into your stomach. “I didn’t know it was you, angel. Of course I’ll go home with you.” 
“Glad to hear it.” You pat his back, heat rising to your cheeks at the display. 
James turns his head, still gripping you tightly so the side of his face is pressed to your front. “You texted her for me?” he asks Remus, maudlin.
“Well, I texted her because I didn’t feel like walking in the opposite direction of our flat to carry you home,” Remus says, then shrugs. “But for you too, sure.” 
“Thank you, Moony,” James croons. 
Remus turns to hide a smile, and you take James’ head in your hands, angling his face back up towards you. “Hi, handsome,” you try again. “Ready to go home?” 
He bobs his head happily, clambering out of his seat and whistling rowdily when you slip an arm around his waist to help support him. You wonder if the heat from your face could be harvested to power a hospital or something. You wave goodbye to his friends as James calls over your shoulder how much he’ll miss them until he sees them tomorrow. 
“M’so excited to go home, baby.” He leans into your side as you maneuver the both of you out the door of the pub. “I’ve been dying to get home to you. You should’a heard, earlier, I was talking to this other girl ‘nd I told her, ‘I’m just dying to get home to my girlfriend’.” 
“Yeah, I remember,” you say. “That was me.” 
“Oh, right!” 
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auras-moonstone · 10 months
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ursula!! i have a request if you’re up for it:
what if the reader is a singer, let’s say she’s successful like taylor swift and the whole friendship bracelet thing was invented by her and her fans. what if jack made a bracelet with his number on it and gave it to her at her concert, like travis did to taylor? i think that’d be soooo cute!
how was your concert? i hope u had fun!
omfg i love this request!!!!! taylor and travis are so fucking cute, i love them so much. and the shows were amazing, thank you for asking! the energy was incredible and i was so happy with the surprise songs 🥺
friendship bracelets — jack champion
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word count: 1,688
pairing: jack champion x singer!fem!reader
summary: jack goes to y/n's concert and hands her team a friendship bracelet with his number, but she doesn't reach out until she sees a clip of him from an interview where he confesses what he did.
warnings: none!
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Y/N’S SINGING CAREER HAD BEEN SUCCESSFUL SINCE THE VERY BEGINNING. At only 19 years of age, she was on the peak of her career and currently doing a world tour with sold out stadiums. She was not only praised because of her versatile discography, but also for her lyricism and the unique bond she had with her fans.
Jack loved her music, so he was really excited when the sponsors of the stadium reached out to offer him tickets for the show. Alongside his friends, Jack made friendship bracelets—a cute tradition within the fandom—, and he had the idea of making one with his number on it.
“Do you seriously think you will be able to give her that?” Romeo, his friend, asked in disbelief as they walked towards their seats.
“A guy can dream” Jack simply said.
“I don’t think she sees anyone after the show. The girl performs for three hours.” Willa told him, not wanting him to get his hopes too high.
“Maybe I could give it to someone of her team.”
“She’s a hot, successful singer, J. She probably gets handed so many phone numbers.” his friend said.
Jack sighed. “Okay, I get it. Jesus. Have you two ever heard of the term ‘positivity’?” he asked bitterly.
“Have you ever heard of the term ‘delusional’?” Romeo asked. Jack rolled his eyes and changed the topic.
It wasn’t that crazy, right?
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TURNS OUT ‘DELUSIONAL’ WAS THE RIGHT WORD. After the amazing show, Jack managed to give the bracelet to one of Y/N’s security guards and the boy was optimistic about it. But then, after one week of radio silence, he came in terms with reality—she was untouchable. He was an actor in the rising and she was a global superstar, what gave him the idea that she was going to reach out? His friends were right, he was indeed delusional.
“I saw you exchanging friendship bracelets at Y/N’s show! How was it? Are you a fan?” his interviewer asked him.
Jack smiled like a little kid at the question. “Yes, it was incredible. Is there anything that girl can’t do? Everything was mind blowing—her outfits, the visuals, her voice, her performance. It was honestly the best concert I’ve ever been to.” he said in pure awe. “And yes, I’m a big fan.”
“Did you make friendship bracelets or did you just receive them?”
“Both! I made a lot. It was a very therapeutic experience, to be honest” the young actor laughed. “I actually made one for Y/N, with my phone number on it.” he admitted shyly.
“You’re kidding!”
“Nope” he laughed awkwardly.
“Did she get it?”
“I don’t know. She hasn’t reached out, but she receives lots of gifts so maybe she hasn’t seen it yet, or maybe she doesn’t text strangers, which makes a lot of sense.”
“Oh my god” the interviewer said in excitement. “That is so adorable! Hope this gets to her! I’m sure the fans will sent her this clip.”
“Oh- please don’t bombard her, guys! I don’t want to make her uncomfortable! It was a silly thing to do.” Jack blushed, instantly regretting having shared the anecdote.
Obviously, his fans didn’t hesitate to do everything in their power to get the video viral. And, as lots of his fans were also fans of hers, the clip appeared on Y/N’s timeline in no time.
She was familiar with Jack. Even though he hadn’t starred in a lot of movies, he was a part of two huge franchises which Y/N, of course, knew about. And he was also one of—if not the—prettiest guys she had ever seen, so she remembered his face. She could not pass this opportunity up.
code red sabrina!!! come to my house asap
WHAT IS WRONG WHAT HAPPENED
this VERY CUTE actor went to my concert last week and put his number on a friendship bracelet and i just found out
okay???? why do you need me?
i have like a thousand fb, i need your help to find it
um… why don’t you just slide into his dms?
that would be easier, but he made that fb and i want it. pretty please? 🥺
fineeee, omw
“I GOT IT.” Sabrina screamed after hours of going through mountains of friendship bracelets.
“OH MY GOD.” Y/N screamed back, grabbing the bracelet and saving the contact on her phone. “Okay, I’m texting him.”
hey jack, what’s your favorite scary movie? 👀🔪🩸
um… i don’t like this, i’m out
“You’re so lame.” Sabrina laughed.
no wait, i’m sorry i was trying to be cool
it’s y/n y/l/n
very funny 🙄 is this you mason?
no, for real. it’s y/n
i saw your clip from the interview and i literally spent the whole day looking for that fucking friendship bracelet and here i am now :)
i’m sorry i didn’t see it before, i feel awful
is this really y/n?
i’m facetiming you
“Hi!” Y/N said cheerfully when Jack answered. His mouth was agape as he started at his celebrity crush. “Do you believe me now?”
“Holy shit! I wasn’t that delusional after all.” Jack said, making her frown. “Oh, my friends called me delusional for expecting you to text me. They were right for like a week.”
“You should’ve just sent me a dm, you’re verified.” Y/N laughed. “But I actually really liked the bracelet. It was original, and thoughtful and beyond adorable.”
“Thank you.” he blushed. “I’m sorry if my fans were harassing you with that clip, I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No! I’m glad you did. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have known about you trying to get me your number.” she smiled. “I really liked you in avatar and scream, by the way! Wish I’ve known you were at my concert, would’ve liked to meet you.”
“It’s not late.” he found himself saying. “I mean, we can meet up, if you want.”
“Like a date?” Y/N asked nervously.
“Yes… only if you’d like it to be a date.”
“I would love to, Jack!”
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Y/N AND JACK HAD THEIR FIRST DATE ONE WEEK AFTER THEIR FIRST CONVERSATION. Jack went to the singer’s house, for more privacy. They were aware that if they went to a restaurant, it would be all over the media and they preferred to keep quiet at least until they knew things between them were going to be serious.
After a couple of dates and weeks of talking, they both knew something good and real had formed between them. Y/N felt completely normal around Jack. He wasn’t like other boys she had dated, who always wanted to go out and make sure the reporters saw them or tried to seduce her with their expensive cars and luxurious mansions. Jack was grounded, kind, sweet and funny. He wasn’t intimidated by her success and her fame. Quite the contrary, Jack admired her and was in awe every time he saw her writing down lyrics on her journal or played songs on the guitar for him. Y/N was sure he was the one, and she wanted to call him hers.
“I have something for you.” Y/N said as they were laying on her bed. Jack was on his back, while the girl was sprawled on top of him.
“What?” he asked curiously.
Y/N got off him to grab something from the drawer. “I wanted to ask you something, but I thought this was the right way considering how it all started.”
Jack laughed in confusion. “You’re not making any sense.” Y/N handed him the thing she was hiding on her palm and Jack fell silent.
The blood rushed into his cheeks, and a smile broke into his face. His heart was beating so fast he was surprised they weren’t able to hear it. His eyes lifted up to find her anxious ones. Y/N was biting her lip nervously, and her hands played with the hem of her skirt as she waited for the boy to say something.
“You’re so cute.” he finally said, holding tightly onto the friendship bracelet that read ‘Be my boyfriend?’. “Yes, I’d love to be your boyfriend, Y/N.” Jack grabbed her wrist and brought her back into his chest, and then captured her lips with his. “I can’t believe this is happening. Feels like a dream.”
Y/N laughed “I know, I can’t believe you’re mine.“ she pecked his lips. “There’s one more thing. I have a show in two days.”
“Yeah, I know.” he furrowed his eyebrows, not knowing where the conversation was headed.
“Would you like to go? Like, be on the VIP tent” she said, and then added in a shy tone. “As my boyfriend.”
Jack widened his eyes. “Are you sure? I have no rush to make this public.”
“I know, and I adore you for not pushing me, but I want this. I really do.”
The boy’s smile shone brighter than the sun. “I’d love to, babe.”
So, two days later, Jack stood on the vip tent, watching his mesmerising girlfriend perform. He blushed through the entire show, because the singer couldn’t stop looking at him—especially when singing love songs.
Y/N was also having the time of her life. Seeing Jack singing along to her songs, dancing and recording everything with a huge smile like a proud boyfriend was one of the most heartwarming sights in the world. Her favourite part, though, was running straight into his arms at the end of the show. Despite being covered in sweat, Jack kissed her all over her face as he muttered how amazing she was.
“Look at your arms!” Y/N laughed as she looked at the friendship bracelets that were practically covering all of his arms.
“They’re killing my blood circulation but they’re so cute” Jack laughed. “One girl called my king of manifestation.”
Y/N bursted out laughing. “I should write a song about it.”
“You better.” he kissed her temple. “Let’s go home, you need to rest.”
“I’m so happy.” Y/N said as they climbed inside the van. She rested her head on Jack’s chest as he played with her hair.
He looked down at and smiled before pressing a kiss on her forehead. “Me too. Never been happier.”
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eowynstwin · 1 year
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Ayo... you by chance got any Ghost headcannons?
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BOY DO I. Here’s what I want to talk about though:
I don’t think Ghost resembles the frankly weird, ultra-dom sex god that fandom has made him out to be. Man wears a mask, self-reportedly, even to sleep. That is LITERALLY the most repressed thing I can think of outside of the church itself.
That’s not to say I don’t think he’s great in bed, but it’s for different reasons that apply also to his overarching character. I think the Ghost persona allows him to be Simon without actually being Simon. The mask allows Ghost to trick himself, to say, “Simon Riley is dead and I am his Ghost” in order to deal with the cognitive dissonance he has of living with extreme trauma.
Soooo, Ghost is more expressive, more himself, really, with the mask on. He can do things as Ghost that Simon Riley just would not have the strength to do anymore. He can connect with his teammates, spend time doing things he enjoys, and yes, he can have and enjoy sex.
While I don’t prefer to rely on actors’ interpretations of the characters they played, I do agree with Samuel Roukin on this—Ghost doesn’t date. Dating is a game for people who are alive. Simon is not. Ghost is “not.”
When Ghost wants to get laid, he follows the age old tradition of picking someone up when he’s gone out for drinks. He’s not opposed to having sex with coworkers, I think, but what happens in the bedroom holds absolutely no bearing on his professional relationships with them.
Boundaries on the whole are sharp and immutable—don’t ask him about work. Don’t ask him about his past. He’s not there for you to get to know him. Follow those rules? He’ll do anything you want.
Mostly though, he fucks you like he wants your body to be unable to forget his. Ghost, for all his insistence to keep things casual, still longs for human connection. He has a hunger for people, for intimacy, born naturally out of an incredible lack of it. So if you do get him into bed, it will feel like Ghost is desperate for you, has wanted you for longer than he’s even known you.
Also, if you follow his rules, he’ll usually come back to fuck you again. Ghost doesn’t want anonymous, doesn’t want someone new every time. Knowing you, knowing your body, knowing what you can do together, is a part of the act that stems the tide of his loneliness. He is very perceptive, and enjoys making a mental catalogue of the things that wreck you. The only thing he enjoys just as much is when you show that you know, too, how to wreck him. It is a deep, ineffable satisfaction, having sex as a vehicle for knowing and being known.
He will overindulge—in his opinion. Ghost always thinks he’s talked to someone too much, spent too much time with someone, fucked someone for too long. It’s a byproduct of trauma borne of a difficult family life. Building something real with someone else represents a massive risk that has only proven detrimental to Ghost in the past—to Simon.
If he catches feelings, his instinct is to sprint in the other direction. He will withdraw, become hard to get into contact with. It is never out of cruelty on his part, and if you do manage to get ahold of him, he won’t snarl at you like his father snarled at him, snarled at his mother. But if you pressure him, demand his time, push him for what he has explicitly told you he will not give, then he will pull out the explanation that always works for him: “You know what this was.”
If you don’t pressure him though—if, when you get ahold of him, you just tell him that you’d like to see him again? That he’s always welcome? Ghost is drawn like a moth to a fucking flame. He’ll hate himself for it, for needing you, for being stupid enough to want you, but he won’t be able to help it. And he won’t stop himself, either.
Give Ghost time, and he will become your shadow. You will never need to look very hard to find him. You will never need to worry about being alone. There is nothing, when he is yours, that will keep him from coming back to you.
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034463 · 2 years
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Maxiel fanfic rec
yes thats right you heard me a maxiel fanfic reclist because apparently im crazy and ive been reading so much maxiel tht i can make a reclist now. its all so very catered to my taste soooo have fun
1. With The Sun In Our Eyes by screwstyles | T, 36k
“A fake dating AU set in 2025: It’s bad enough that Max is outed by an ex in the middle of racing season, and then his team suggests he pretend to date Daniel to soften the blow. It’s as bad an idea as it sounds.”
a maxiel classic, theres just something about fake/pretend relation ship that just gets me. also a lot of miscommunication so heads up for that”
2. you pick me up and take me home again by wintrs | M, 28k
“It feels like a dream, seeing Daniel again after all these years. It's a second chance Max knows he doesn't deserve, and he isn't going to waste it.Or: Max isn't racing in 2027, although he couldn't tell you exactly why. But it isn't a big deal. He's fine.”
max deals with his feelings and also his past trauma. very very angsty.
3. Little Drops of Anguish by semperama | E, 45k
“After a crash in Baku 2021 leaves Max unable to race, he's left trying to figure out what to do with his life—and with Daniel, who doesn't seem to want to let him go.”
also like fic no 2 max cant race and must face the fact tht theres a life beyond racing and daniel showing him that.
4. well we can settle down by tiredtiredsharl | M, 24k
“Sometimes Daniel watches the tapes back and he thinks: shouldn’t I be jealous of this kid? Or: Max drives the way we all aspire. Or: Christ, I’m in the presence of someone who will go down in FIA history.He never says any of that. Because after he watches Max stumble through an interview with a journalist who quotes Toto, he realizes that the pressure is the last thing Max needs.Max is one bad race away from combusting. Or going into the wall again. And Daniel can’t handle either of those options. For reasons he can’t examine right now. Or ever.”
dont remember much of the plot except that i found myself finishing the ff at 6 am in the morning and the light were coming through my window. amazing shit
5. The Dog's Home by dm3rv | M 33k
“Max Verstappen liked dogs. Max Verstappen loved cats. The jury was still out on people.Max has spent years climbing the ranks at an Animal Welfare Charity, moving from volunteer to intern to Animal Care Manager. The dogs and cats he cares for are his life - if only he didn't have to spend so much of his time putting up with 'VIPs'; entitled celebrities and donors with image-based agendas. Daniel is going through an image and identity crisis after an uninspiring season with McLaren. Keen for an image overhaul, he gives his time to a local animal shelter. What he doesn't expect is the prickly Animal Care Manager who has been assigned to look after him. Animal Shelter AU.”
THE BEST! max vet au youre crazy and dog boy daniel scared of dogs? good content also dont forget to check out the side galex. also good shit.
6. The Drive Of Your Life by  littleprism | ?, 70k
“Daniel is a semi-known actor. Max just got his second WDC a few months ago. There was absolutely no reason for them to meet.
Until a fateful crash in testing changed that.”
b list actor danny and racer maxy playing in a movie together. theres some plot holes but if you dont really think about it its soo good. 
7. anything to get to the rush by kingsguarding | E, 18k
“It’s so stupid, that’s the thing.Every year, the World Champion gets to choose another driver to … celebrate with. It’s an old tradition, apparently. As old as the sport itself. Part of the prize of winning, part of your reward.Max has never understood it.”
the ff that made me realize im soo deep in maxiel lore that i will sink w this ship. basically two emotionally stunted boys doing emotionally stunted boys thing
8. MV33 by Whippasnappa | E, 14k
“Daniel finds out Max is on Grindr. He's curious. He's just going to download the app, just to see. Just to look at Max's profile. He's curious how Max picks up men, curious if Max puts his real face out there. He's definitely not going to message Max. He's definitely not going to do that. He messages Max.”
yeah.....
9. Happier than Ever (so why are you crying with blue-sky eyes) by Whippasnappa | E, 30k
“From the first time they met at RedBull, Max knew he never wanted to be without Daniel. A look through their relationship as Max tries (and fails) to keep his feelings for Daniel hidden, as Daniel leaves for Renault, then McLaren, as Max tries to hold himself together.”
it hurts but it hurts so good. retelling of their whole history
will be updated as i read more ff
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majorplayer · 2 years
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i can literally never go back to TTR at this point. i cannot possibly overstate the degree to which TTCC has permanently ruined rewritten for me in the ONE MONTH i have played it consistently this year so far. (i played it for a month when it first came out but i just never got into it back then.)
rewritten is just... so bad and unfun, relatively. it's fatally stuck in the past. it's for nostalgic people who want a few months of ignorant fun, not for long-term enjoyment. don't get me wrong, TTO was certifiably The Shit back in the late 2000s and all we stupid children loved it exactly how it was (which is how TTR still is), but how can it possibly be enjoyed anymore once you've seen the greener pastures? even if clash was almost an exact copy of rewritten and the only differences were the quality of life changes, those changes are so impactful on every aspect of gameplay that i'd still feel the same way.
but it's not even just QoL changes, clash also improves on every aspect of the story, characters, the game mechanics, etc. fuck, even just the clash team is infinitely better than rewritten's. they actually respond to emails, take action against bad actors, approve names within 24 hours (rewritten takes WELL over 1 month recently), and god man, it's so so SOOOO obvious just how passionate the clash team is about the game. it's not something they need to say out loud; it's something you straight up feel as you play it. they pour their hearts and souls into making clash the best it can possibly be.
i used to play rewritten thinking i was having fun, but i am honest to god questioning that now. i don't think i was ever having fun on it in the past few years, not seriously. it's all nostalgia for a game that suffers from crushing subscription-incentivizing design and 2003 capabilities. the entire game is going through the fucking Motions, wasting your life playing the most soul-suckingly repetitive ways disney could implement to keep a bunch of 9 year olds begging their parents for a monthly subscription back in 2009 so they wouldn't get locked out of their toon before they could complete their seventh Back Nine in a row to do one CEO before their math homework. there's not even any strategy involved in the gameplay because it's not meant to pose any sort of challenge, it's just a timesink for monthly subscriptions. clash feels fresh. there's actual strategy and it can be really difficult (in a fun way!!!!) even if you're experienced.
clash is the modern take on toontown, and man do they knock it out of the park on every single account. the fact that i have recently discovered one of my new favorite fictional characters ever and it comes from clash says a lot about how good it is. meanwhile in TTO/TTR, you can generally find people laughing about lil oldman or maybe saying they enjoy flippy, but not much else love for characters besides edge cases. the story of clash has genuine replayability. i feel actual excitement to replay the managers in clash and even to grind them, whereas i would always dread having to do another suit boss or field office in rewritten. playing it is almost like an abusive relationship. i never maxed a toon in TTO, so i really wanted to max a toon in TTR since it was the closest thing... it's such an extreme example of the sunk cost fallacy, blatantly so now that i've played clash.
the fact of the matter is, i grew up. TTO was, and now TTR is, fun for people under the age of 15, and/or people stuck in the early 2010s at the latest. despite being really into clash for such a short amount of time so far, i've already heard this sentiment echoed a number of times while playing it. no one who goes into clash with an open mind and gives it an honest chance goes back to rewritten in a meaningful capacity. no one hits 115 laff in rewritten and thinks "wow, almost all of the rest of my laff will come from suits, i'm so excited to do back nines!" meanwhile i'm about to hit 115 laff in clash and i'm not even remotely finished with the (compelling, well-written, and cohesive) story, much less doing anything repetitive. i'm only excited to continue where i'm at.
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Love to Hate You - Kdrama Review
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Finally finish this gem! It was a very fast watch with only 10 episodes. It was truly a great watch while grinning and blushing the whole time cause this show was so entertaining and funny.
Love to Hate You is about Yeo Mi-Ran (Kim Ok Vin) a lawyer at Gilmu who have dated countless men and Nam Kang Ho (Teo Yoo) a famous actor who has social anxiety towards women. They met because Nam Kang Ho is being represented by Yeo Mi-Ran for anything legal related. Due to some misunderstandings, Yeo Mi-Ran had a bad impression of Nam Kang Ho but he in turn gets curious of her odd behaviour and grows interested in her.
NOW LISTEN, PRAISE THE LORD FOR STRONG FEMALE LEAD ERA 2023! I love that Yeo Mi-Ran is portrayed as someone who can fight and is a justice vigilante. She doesn't allow herself to just watch injustice happen. She fights back and she is not your typical damsel in distress character. But she's also not overly reckless. She's professional at her job as a lawyer and isn't afraid to speak and show how she feels.
Nam Kang Ho at first appears to be this cold straight forward rude character but that doesn't last long. He becomes so soft with his long time friend and manager Do Won-Jun (Kim Ji Hoon) and when he is in love, he is soooo adorable. I can literally see the heart eyes he's giving Yeo Mi-Ran. I love that he is not unreasonably jealous and doesn't mind the fact that Yeo Mi-Ran have dated a lot of guys. He is not insecure of their relationship at all. AGAIN PRAISE THE LORD FOR GREEN FLAG MALE LEAD ERA 2023!
Mature relationships will be forever my favourite genre. They are much more healthy and so cute to watch. I love how both male and female leads break barriers and stereotype of their gender. Honestly, this topic could actually be cringe or unbalanced if not written properly but this drama did a good job at addressing it but also keeping it light.
There is also a 2nd couple in this drama that is just so cute and funny. Kinda wished Kim Ji Hoon had short hair tho but it's probably cause he was shooting this around the same time as Money Heist Korea.
Special mention to Teo Yoo cause he is 41 but still look so good. I remember watching his episode on Omniscient Interfering View (The Manager) and found out that he married Nikki S.Lee, a famous visual artist who have works being exhibited in New York City and Seoul. He is born in Germany and is fluent in both German and English. I heard him speak German and mans got even more attractive! He has been in many works but so glad that this drama made he even more popular to the general population.
Overall, if you're looking for a romantic comedy drama with the early 2000s vibe but with both green flag leads, this drama is for you.
Rating: 4.75/5
-- Fary
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auramindedd · 4 years
Text
Fixed? Never - SMAU*
Part 3
CorpseHusband x FemReader
Warnings: cussing
A/N: again, any posts with a “ * ” attached to “smau” has writing in it. imma focus A LOT more on just the social media n message perspective, but y/n n corpse meet in this part soooo i had to add some writing :) something else b4 i forget; i’m updating my masterlist and changing it into a directory post that way you guys can also request through a google form! i’ll have requests open at all times unless i get too stressed out or if they overfill. due to me changing my masterlist, there’s gonna be about 6 posts i think. also,, thank you guys so much for 600 followers! i’ve been hitting a bunch of milestones and haven’t been remembering to say thank you, but just know that i appreciate every single one of you... also i love reading y’all’s comments 😭
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You make sure you’re set up before 6 PM, which was probably a mistake. You can’t sit still, you’re starting to get nervous, and you kind of just want to run away to McDonald’s.
Sure, you know Ludwig, Dream, and Rae, but it feels like you’re at school all over again. That anxious feeling of having to be with people while your best friends aren’t around.
You’re leg is bouncing, your nails are tapping on your desk, and you can’t stop running your hand through your hair. It probably looks like a fucking bird nest by now.
You start streaming, deciding that maybe talking to your supporters will make things a bit better.
“Hey, loves,” You greet in a not so Y/N-fashioned way. Of course, the chat catches on, and you’re being called out for it. You can’t help but giggle at the fact that your supporters know how you usually are.
@user: What happened to, “Hey, bitches!”
@user: Ou, someone is nervous.
Yeah, they obviously know you very well.
“Alright, let’s start over.” You clear your throat for dramatic effect because, well, when are you not dramatic? “Hey, bitches!” Yup, even you know that just feels right.
After a while of talking to your supporters, Rae sends you the Discord invite and the Among Us code. You join, feeling your nerves start to come back.
“Y/N!” Rae exclaims in excitement when she sees you’ve joined the Among Us lobby.
“Hi,” You say, shyness lacing your voice.
“Oh my God! The cutest voice.” Jack says. Wow, what a compliment coming from the Jack_Septic_Eye.
You take time to introduce yourself to everyone, trying to calm your nerves.
“Are we gonna start?” Ludwig’s impatient ass asks.
“We’re waiting for Corpse.” Rae explains.
Shit, another person you have to introduce yourself to?
“Hey, Corpse!” Sykkuno greets quickly, very obviously racing to be the first to say hi to Corpse.
“Hey, Sykkuno,” Corpse chuckles, and woah, the last thing you expected. You can’t help but be surprised, and you know it’s showing on your face. Why? Because your supporters are teasing you in the chat.
“Corpse,” Rae says in a sing-songy tone. “This is Y/N.” And your heart drops to your fucking stomach. Every single time it happens when you have to meet someone, but now your heart is beating even faster because you’re obviously the only one who hasn’t met Corpse. They’re all expecting a reaction out of you...
“Hey, Y/N.” His deep, husky voice says. You can hear the smile in his voice and it helps ease your nerves.
“Hi,” You greet, shyness still lacing your voice.
Corpse chuckles, “So cute.” Now you’re blushing. Great...
Rae starts the game, saving you before the others can start teasing you.
Crewmate.
You’ve only played Among Us once, in a public server with Dream, George, Karl, and Alex, and then you got bullied for not knowing what the fuck to do.
To say the least, you’re pretty glad to be Crewmate and not Impostor.
“Y/N!” Jack shouts, walking up to you. You slightly jump, forgetting they’re playing with Proximity Chat.
“Jack!” You shout back, letting his astronaut catch up to you.
“We were expecting a reaction.” He says, and of course they were.
“Uh, yeah, I don’t know. I feel like he hears it a lot, don’t want to add on to the list of Things People Say To Him Everyday.”
“Yeah, he’s probably very grateful for that.”
“Grateful for what?” Charlie walks up to you two.
“Nothing,” Jack drawls. You’ve just met Charlie, but you know that he’d tease both you and Corpse about one another’s voices.
“Oh, I know!” Charlie exclaims, but before he can say what he knows-
“Okayyy! That’s enough interaction with Charlie for today.” Jack says, and you take that as a, ‘Walk the fuck away now, Y/N!’
You walk around, trying your best to finish tasks, but when it comes to the card swipe in Admin, you want to quit life as a whole.
“Ugh, I fucking quit.” You groan, slamming your hands on your desk. A deep, rumbling chuckle comes through on your headphones.
“Having trouble?” Corpse teases.
“Yeah. I wanna rip every strand of my fucking hair out.”
“Swipe it slower.” And with that, you try again. Voila! Just like magic.
“Well if I would’ve fucking known.” You groan, Corpse chuckling.
“Here, I can help you with the game.”
“Yes, please, I don’t know shit about it.”
“You know, you cuss a lot for having such a sweet, innocent, and cute voice.” Corpse laughs.
“Yeah,” You drawl. “I know, bad fucking habit.” You slap your hand over your mouth. How does someone cuss in every sentence? Get a filter, damn.
Corpse walks around with you as you both finish tasks, explaining how the game works, and giving you tips for when you do end up being an Impostor.
Honestly, you could listen to his voice all day. He’s also really sweet.
“What are you two up to?” Brooke asks, doing tasks in Electrical with you two. Corpse told you to make sure you’re always aware of your surroundings when you’re in Electrical. So, naturally, you’re freaking out, but silently and internally.
“Brooke,” Corpse warns. He doesn’t even have time to finish his warning. Brooke kills him, his body flopping over, the one bone sticking out from the top of his body. Your mouth falls open.
“Hey, Y/N. Let’s be besties!” You don’t know what to do, but ay, #girlsupportinggirls, right? So, you walk with her. She helps you along the way, also telling you tips on the game, explaining how everything works. Then, after about a minute, a whole 60 seconds, Corpse’s body is reported.
“Why Corpse? Such an innocent man with a beautiful voice.” Lud fake cries.
“Get over it,” Brooke says.
“It’s Brooke! Brooke’s an Impostor!” Lud shouts.
“What? No! I was with Y/N for a lot of this round.” Brooke defends herself, and oh fuck, who the fuck do you defend? You’ve just met both of them, one of them will possibly hate you forever.
“Y/N?” Sykkuno grabs your attention, snapping you out of your thinking.
“Yeah, she was. She wouldn’t have had time to kill Corpse. Where was the body?” Well, there you go, potentially ruining yours and Corpse’s blooming friendship. Sad Girl Hour, type beat.
“In Electrical,” Charlie says.
“Yeah, no way she would’ve had to time to kill him.”
Nobody’s voted out. Brooke hasn’t even told you who the second Impostor is so, you don’t know if you should stay with her or not.
As you and Brooke are walking around, or skipping as she sees it, and holding hands, Dream pops out of a vent. Well, there’s Imposter two.
“Woah! Dream, way to out yourself out.” You tease, throwing your head back and laughing.
“Please, you’ve been with Brooke the whole time. Don’t say anything.” Dream begs, making you and Brooke giggle.
“I won’t, I won’t.”
“Thank you,” He starts walking away from you guys, but not without finishing his sentence that you thought was already finished. “Cutie.” And there, finished.
Fucking finished! Tweedle-dee, tweedle dum! Whoopty-fucking-do! Fan-fucking-tastic! A-fucking-mazing!
And of course you’re blushing for the whole 80,000+ people watching to tease you about.
“Oh my God!” Brooke squeals. “What was that?!”
“I’ll explain later,”
•*•*•*•*•
“Y/N, how could you?” Corpse says, offended.
“I’m sorry! I didn’t know what to do.”
“She’s my enemy, Y/N. We were supposed to stick together. I told you some tips and tricks, explained how to be a badass Impostor, everything!” Wow, he’s a good fucking actor.
“I can very well do the same thing, bitch.” Brooke spits, all in a playful manner - you hope...
“Not better than me, bitch.” Corpse retorts, his astronaut getting closer.
•*•*•*•*•
Imposter.
With Corpse.
Great.
Your enemy. Or as he put it, “Enemy who he can maybe, and most likely, will become friends with in the near future.”
“Follow,” He says, and even though he’s your enemy, you do.
“I gotta do my own thing.”
“You don’t know how to do shit.” Corpse scoffs.
“Okay then, what the fuck are we gonna do?”
“Double kills, all the way, but only when we meet up with each other. So, right now, we’ll both go our own ways, but when we see each other again, we’ll walk to a pair and do a double kill if we can.” Corpse explains.
“Brooke told me not to do double kills often. It won’t help get through a game.”
Corpse snorts, “Brooke doesn’t know dog shit about this game.”
“Fine,” You groan, going along with it only because you don’t know dog shit about the game either.
As Corpse explained, you two do double kills every time you meet up. You two managed to get double kills where people rarely go - Shields, Comms, and the top of Cafeteria.
After killing Rae and Sykkuno, the game ends. You made sure to leave Brooke and Dream alive.
“Period, we did that!” You exclaim, everyone else groaning and complaining about how you two should never be an Impostor duo again. “But I still fucking hate you because you hate me!”
“Exactly!” Corpse retorts in the same tone as you.
•*•*•*•*•
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Taglist - comment or message me to be added!
* if your username is in bold, please reach out to me; you’re at risk of having your username removed that way i can clear space for other tags. *
@cherry-piee @littlered00 @sunnywinterdays @strang-ersclub @callmemaeve-y @powerpuffyn @kusuinko @where-thesundoesntshine @letglimmersayfuck @coryisagee @a-dot-dev @ifilosemyselfagain @tayloryorkscurls @lex-prplatmngrl @letsloveimagines @youretheonlyonewhomakesme @smiithys @mikayladoesntknow @clubfairy @mirahg @thurstyforholland @thatsouthernblondewiththeass @majasophieanna
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507 notes · View notes
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can you make a kokichi x clown reader please? it would be so great ^^
kokichi x s/o clown reader <3
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true!! that *would* be so great! im an actor so being a clown is actually kinda interesting to me since it’s an extension of acting,, and i really think that kokichi would like clowns and what they do! also i had this be an s/o reader! i hope you like this!!<3
yes of course Kokichi would like a clown s/o!!
that would be so cool for him!!!
firstly, he is pretty childish so seeing a real life clown is just very interesting to him
he asks if your nose honks way more times than any person should
“nishishi! *boops your nose*”
and secondly: D.I.C.E.! a clown fits in perfectly with them! you’re like his ideal member!
he’s definitely going to ask you to join!
even if he’s already asked you tons of times before
“y/n, please!! you’ll be a super amazing member! pweety pwease join me?”
if you say no, he’ll be a little upset but still find a way to get you included in D.I.C.E. activities! like tea parties!
and if you say yes, he’ll be super excited! he’ll have you use your clown abilities to help D.I.C.E. out!
he is really interested in your clown life, he wants to know everything!
like how do you do performances and routines and stuff like that? (i personally find that interesting!)
he’s always asking you for stories!
“soooo how was your clown show?! c’mon tell me everything!!”
and he wants to try on your clown outfits so much
i headcanon that he really loves colorful clothes, it matches his colorful personality!
his canon underwear is literally the mcdonalds colors so-
wearing your clown clothes makes him feel so cool
“nishishi! i really look like D.I.C.E.’s supreme leader now!”
also he wants you to teach him how to juggle!!
because he wants to juggle random objects and make people annoyed
like imagine you have an apple and a juice box and he just takes them and starts juggling
he wants that.
so teach him!
...even if he kind of sucks at it, he’s not very good at extreme hand eye coordination like that
“aw man...this is super tough, y/n! how can you do this?!”
but anyways, he’s actually extremely proud that he’s dating a clown
to him it’s like he managed to date royalty!
and he really loves bringing up the fact that his s/o is a clown
like he’s definitely bragging
sometimes he purposefully calls you a clown just so he can be like...
“ohhhh riiiighhht...i forgot, nishishi! you are a clown!”
and now when people say he’s a clown, he can say
“nope! but my s/o is one!”
and he’ll always make a big show out of holding your hold or kissing your cheek when he does!
but he does actually know by being your s/o that being a clown is a real job
so if anyone ever makes fun of you or tries to belittle your effort, he gets angry
“i can’t believe a loser like you thinks you can make fun of my wonderful s/o. there’s no way you could be as amazing of a clown as my beloved! you’re wayyyy less than that.”
he doesn’t tolerate criticism of you :)
he loves to support you and see all your performances!
he’ll be the only cheering you on and laughing the loudest!
“you were so amazing beloved! you always make me smile y’know?”
overall, kokichi really loves your clown self <3
thank you so much for reading!! and remember kokichi ouma loves you a lot <3 💜💜
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mypimpademia · 4 years
Note
Hi!!! I was wondering if I could request Sugawara, Bokuto, Tsukishima and Kenma with a black famous actress girlfriend?❤️❤️❤️❤️
Sugawara x black!actress!reader, Bokuto x black!actress!reader, Tsukishima x black!actress!reader, Kenma x black!actress!reader
TW: Swearing
Note: this is all post times skip
Taglist: @myhoodacademia @bnhainthewoo @iiminibattlehero @ecao @nnnoya @hawklmaoo @strawberry-ice @mixxfi @wolfkid22 @mythiccheroacademia @myfandemons @lilsparkyswife @mrs-nanami @mindofess @kqtsukisgf
SUGAWARA.
Hes soooo supportive
Koshi is gonna let you do what ever you need to do to work
Travel, using method acting at home, and he won't be up your ass if you have to kiss another actor for a role
But unfortunately, if you do have to travel, he won't be able to come often, as he still has to teach his students
He makes up for it by taking time off for premieres, but he still feels bad that he cant come even though its not his fault
Koshis favorites that you star in are ALWAYS the black story films
He knows how important they are, and he thinks its amazing that his incredible girlfriend gets to play a part in them
When he shows his students movies in class, they're probably yours
Especially if you play the lead role
He usually tells them on set stories about certain parts of the movie (but only with your permission of course)
PLEASE come and visit his students
They all adore you and your work
"You looked reallyyyyy pretty in that one scene in (insert a movie title)"
They'll ask you questions about being on set, about talking with other famous actors/actresses, etc.
If and when you win an award, Koshi will NOT miss it for the world
It'll be the proudest moment of his life and his not even him getting the award
Can and will cry if you give him a special thanks in your speech
"And of course, id like to thank my lil baby, Koshi."
Koshi just loves you so much and hes so proud to have you as his girlfriend
BOKUTO.
Just the thought of you excites him, but when thinks of the fact that you're a whole famous actress? He can't even sit still
He gushes about you to the team constantly
They'd find it annoying but Bokutos so passionate about you that they just can't
You guys really aren't apart too much, even if you have to travel
1. Because Koutaro is clingy and doesn't like leaving you and 2. Because you guys somehow end up in the same place even when you're traveling
So hes always there to support you
But he can't help but get jealous when you have to kiss your co-stars
He usually gets all pouty when it happens, and if you have to redo the shot multiple times it only progresses
Its sucks seeing Ko sad, but you end up getting lots of kisses so thats definitely a plus
Koutaro is a fucking sap, so his favorite movies you start in are usually romance ones, or sad ones
He can and will double over and cry during them
"Ko, we're only 20 minutes in, get off the damn floor!"
When you win an award he'll cry even harder
If you mention him he'll start running around and screaming like he's in a black church
"And of course I can never for get my boo, Kotaro~"
Queue the cameras trying to follow him like he on Murray while he cries
He just loves you so much and hes so proud of you that he forgets how to act
TSUKISHIMA.
This nigga SWEARS he doesn't care
But he do💖
Because he still comes to as much as your stuff as he can
That means filming, traveling, premieres, and other things
Unfortunately, the two of you are apart pretty often if you travel a lot
But the two of you manage by talking as much as you can, and if you come back for short periods of time you hang out as much as possible
Hes one of the most jealous bitches idc idc
If you kiss a co-star, hes wiping your mouth down w a wet rag, and then giving you the best kiss of your life (it literally gets better everytime)
You really be tempted to beat his ass when he tried to wipe your mouth but its all worth it
"Boy you not bouta wipe my mouth for the tenth time today, I 'ought beat yo' a-"
Then Kei wipes your mouth
"Nigga what did I just say–"
And then kisses you
You can't even be mad at that point
Kei is a fucking nerd so his favorite movies are sci-fi
You did a movie involving dinosaurs once and he swears he fell in love w you all over again
Is he ever gonna let you know that though?
Absolutely not.
When you win an award, hes gonna be so proud of you
He honestly might tear up
Will 100% shed a tear or two if you mention him
"And the biggest thanks goes to my irritating but lovable boyfriend, Kei."
Kei is kind of a bitch about it like he is about everything, but he really is proud of you
KENMA.
You were probably just starting out when you guys got together
So he doesn't think much of it because he's so use to it
Don't get me wrong, hes proud of you, but hes just so used to being around you that he hardly ever acknowledges that hes dating a famous actress
But when he does it definitely puts a smile on his face
Kozume fully supports you, he comes with you to filming, traveling, premieres, and other events
He pre-records game plays just so he can go
Kozu probably gets insecure if you have to kiss other co-stars on set
Hes just insecure about your relationships in general sometimes because its like you're this beautiful and amazing actress, and hes a gameplay youtuber
So he'll probably ask for a lil reassuring kiss after you do a scene like that
"Baby, can I have a kiss? Please?"
When you come on his livestreams, even for a second, his chay goes crazy
'OMG HI Y/N, HOWS FILMING GOING?'
His favorite movies are sci-fi and action
They remind him of video games, which means he can mix his two favorite things in the world together (you and video games, to clarify💖)
When you win an award, he won't miss it for the world
Kozume will be so proud, he might actually cry
Especially if you mention him
"I dont think I could've done this without my incredible boyfriend though."
Hes so in love with you he won't be able to function properly
418 notes · View notes
t-lostinworlds · 4 years
Text
Not Going Anywhere (Tom Holland)
a/n: finally! lmao. gosh, i haven’t posted a fic in a while and im scared lol. also, i’m sorry for the lack of fics recently, i’ll try and be better with it. anyway, i’m not going to babble any more asdfghjkl hope you guys enjoy this one!
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pairing: tom holland x actress!reader warnings: emotional scene, blood (fake), gun shots (kinda fake), character death (very fake lmao), lots of crying, and tom just being a wholesome boyfriend. word count: 7.5k+ requested:
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first off, thank you angel! 💓 you’re too sweet omg 🥺 requests are a bit tricky for me ‘cause it depends if i get inspo or not but i did with this one haha so second, i’m so sorry this took soooo long. i hope i did it justice and that you like it love! 
masterlist on bio & pinned post
-:-:-:-:-
It was the last scene of the day but neither you nor Tom were too keen on it. Both of you read the script, of course you knew this was a long time coming. This scene has been sitting in the back of your heads from the moment you both decided to take on the roles but still, it never really does prepare you mentally no matter how much you try.
Death scenes are always tricky to shoot, depending on what the undertone is. It can be a slightly easy one, the death of an enemy in which you'd channel relief, pride, a sense of accomplishment—maybe even in a sadistic, evil sense, happiness and joy. Or it can go around the hard route, the death of someone you love. There are so many ways you could go about it, so many emotions you can tap into. You can have regret, guilt, hurt, sadness, anger, fear, loss, and the list goes on.
It would've been easier to act it out with a regular colleague or a friend, easier to separate from reality and to snap out of it when they call cut. It'd be less daunting if that was the case. But when it's done with someone who you love off screen, a person who you can't ever imagine a world without, to get your mind to a place where you'd have to picture losing them, then it gets even trickier, much, much harder.
Couples don't usually do movies together that often, it can become unprofessional as some would say, but that wasn't the case with you and Tom. Both of you have been praised so many times with your individual works as you two can stand alone and carry a role with nothing but award winning performances. But whenever you two share a screen together, then it's an even bigger force to be reckoned with.
It's always a director's dream to work with you individually and as a pair. You were a match made in heaven off and on screen, the one-take-wonder duo. You two just bounce off each other so well no matter the roles you play, may it be enemies, acquaintances, lovers, past lovers, co-workers, and so on. You two share a look and it all clicks, then everything just falls into place.
You two get it done right away in the right way.
You love working with Tom, love seeing him do his thing in the flesh and you enjoy watching all the breathtaking and raw performance he gives. Plus, you get to spend time with your man, a gift with how conflicting your schedules can get sometimes. Not to mention, you get to do what you love together, a fun time on set as you make the most out of it while staying at the top of your game, be each other's cheerleader while maintaining proper professionalism.
But when it's heavy and emotional scenes like this upcoming one, you do find yourself wishing that it wasn't with him.
"How do I look? Still gorgeous I hope," Tom joked the moment you entered the set, posing over dramatically with one hand on his head, the other on his jutted out hip and a duck face to match, sporting his dirt—with specks of blood—covered and torn outfit. What he wore was a white shirt, black pants, black boots and a gray coat combo. While you on the other hand, wore dark blue jeans, a black t-shirt, a gray zip up hoodie that was fully open and a black leather jacket over it.
On a normal day, his silliness would've made you roll your eyes with a laugh, but today, it didn't even manage to make you crack a smile. In fact, a frown made its way onto your lips at the sight of him all dirtied up, a purple bruise under his left eye, a couple gashes on his cheek and a cut on his bottom lip to complete his beat-up look.
"Stop trying to ruin my Zen," you grumbled, crossing your arms over your chest with a pout on your lips. It was already dark inside your mind, emotions at the ready for when they call action. And seeing him be his dorky self, trying his best to make you laugh, just being the sweet boy who owns your heart, it wasn't at all helpful in a sense that with what's coming, it makes you think what life would be like if those adorable traits of his would become a memo—
"I'm not," Tom chuckled softly as he slowly made his way over to you. Once he reached a close proximity, his warm palm found its way to rest on your cheek. His touch was gentle, thumb caressing your skin comfortingly, a loving smile making its way onto his lip as he kept his gaze steady on your troubled face. "Just making sure you don't get too into your head, darling."
Tom's eyes held nothing but utter concern because he knows you like the back of his hand, knows how you work. With actors, it's always taxing mentally and emotionally when it comes to scenes like this, but with you, there's an added weight. Because, one, you always go that extra mile, to dig much deeper into your thoughts, to make your brain work harder at channeling emotions on command and in a quick switch. That's what made you known to be such an incredible actress, pure talent mixed with hard work of course.
And two, you were doing the scene with him, your real life lover. For you to see his face and watch him slowly wither away, Tom can't even stomach the thought of what you could possibly be feeling, what kind of thoughts were swimming inside your head. He can't even begin to imagine if it was the other way around. He absolutely admires your strength for holding it together because if it was him, he would've already been balling before he could even get out of his trailer.
With that said, Tom was worried to the bone. It always pains him to see the struggle you go through to get your mind there. He hates seeing you in a state that wasn't pure happiness, even if it was all acting.
"It's really hard not to," you whispered, flashing him a small smile as you leaned into his touch. Tom's heart broke at the soft shake in your voice, a sigh coming out of his lips as he moved closer to press it against your forehead. His strong arms found their way around your form to give you the warmest hug he can muster without getting all the dirt and the little bit of fake blood he had on him, on you.
"I know, angel, I know," he whispered against your skin, giving your waist a gentle and loving squeeze that made you close your eyes with a shaky breath.
Tom has had a fair share of tough, emotional scenes, of course he understood. Some of them were even done with you, though none were as tragic and heavy as to what lies ahead.
He knows how hard it is to not let those dark thoughts cloud most of your mind. He's been guilty of failing at it a couple of times. Some scenes just affected him in real life before he could stop it. Tom so badly didn't want you to experience the same. He doesn't want you to go far too deep for the sake of your mental state, especially with how much worse this scene is going to be compared to previous stuff you've done. But there's not much he can do other than to be there for you to help you get through it and to make sure to snap you out of it before it gets way out of hand.
"You two ready to go?" Jessica, the director, interrupted with a sympathetic smile. You unwillingly broke away from Tom's embrace to give her a small nod.
"Don't think I'll ever be ready but let's get this over and done with," you breathed out. She watched the two of you for a moment, the gloominess in the atmosphere too obvious for anyone to miss. It's always like that with emotional scenes, the set catered to help the actors be in the zone, but it's a lot heavier this time around. When it's a real life couple, the difference is huge.
With a soft, understanding smile, she reached over to you and gave your shoulder a squeeze. "Two more minutes and then we start." Jessica nodded at the both of you curtly. You and Tom flashed her grateful smiles to which she gladly returned.
Once she walked away, Tom's gaze landed back on you, slight dread and concern glowing in his eyes but a reassuring grin played on his lips. He was trying his best to stay calm about it, even though he wasn't looking forward to it as well. He just didn't want to add more to your already worrying mind by looking too frantic with his concern.
"Come here and give me one last kiss."
"Don't say it like that," you groaned, squeezing your eyes shut as his choice of words weren't exactly the best.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, darling," Tom rushed once he realized how it sounded like, rubbing your arms comfortingly and giving it a gentle squeeze, silently urging you to look at him. Once you opened your eyes and met his gaze again, he tilted his head to the side with an adorable pout. "Can I have a kiss? Pwetty please?"
You shook your head at your man with a sigh, the corners of your lips lifting just a little as you met him halfway for a short but sweet, loving kiss.
"You've got this, okay?" he whispered once you pulled away, his breath hot against your lips as the tip of his nose nudged yours tenderly. You flashed him a small yet thankful smile, nodding in response before leaning close again to give him a quick peck.
"Places you two!" Jessica called out.
Tom's hands found yours, his fingers delicate as he lifted them up to his lips, a kiss on each of your knuckles and another reassuring squeeze before he lets you go.
You treaded your way towards your first marker, Tom's just a couple feet behind you. You looked over your shoulder in hopes to find his eyes before everything starts, a wash of relief coating your body once you saw that it was already set on you. You two shared a look, Tom flashing you one of his many charming grins—one that you adore so much—in reassurance, throwing in a thumbs up as he put his right foot forward. You did just the same, only breaking his gaze when you felt someone tap you on the shoulder.
You turned to one of the crew who handed you a Glock filled with blanks, a soft thanks escaping your lips followed by a deep intake of breath. You closed your eyes before exhaling slowly, clenching and unclenching your fist around the gun as you slowly slipped into character.
The two of you were undercover agents, partners turned recent lovers to be specific. The start of the scene was that you've just managed to get Tom out from his unfortunate capture, the abandoned warehouse where he was kept and you just escaped from, situated behind. You've managed to take out all the guys in the warehouse together but you have no idea if someone had called in backup so it was needed and safer to get as far away from the place as soon as possible. Hence why you two are going to be running from point A to B. But once you reach point B, then the scene happens.
"Ready and action!"
You took on a sprint, chest heaving as you kept looking back to make sure Tom was following. He was running just loosely behind you, a slight limp in his movements given that he isn't in the best of conditions due to the kidnapping.
"Come on!" You slowed down a little to wait for him, offering out a hand for him to take. He was so close to reaching it when his gaze shifted from your hand to somewhere behind you, eyes widening at the sight.
"Look out!" Tom exclaimed, hand quick to grab your outstretched one to pull you into his body. Both his arms wrapped around you tightly as he turned around in one swift motion so that your places were now switched. Then you heard five deafening gun shots, Tom's body jerking the same number of times before he slowly leaned forwards, his body getting heavier as his weight slowly rested more on you.
"No!" you shrieked, one hand wrapping around his torso as you lifted the other one hurriedly to aim your gun at the armed person behind him, pulling the trigger a couple of times to let loose of the blanks. You heard a thud next, an indication that the person has been taken care of.
Tom's whole body slumped, you struggling to hold his weight as he gradually slipped from your grasp, your heart beating rapidly against your chest when you felt something damp coat your fingers that were rested on his back. Your gaze landed on his face with wide eyes, calling out his character's name a few times as you tried your best to let him down on the pavement as gently as you can manage.
Tears welled up in your orbs, your throat closing up as you kneeled beside his body, anxiously checking to see what was wrong even though you already knew that everything was wrong. You took off your jacket hurriedly, bunching it up and placing it under his head for support. A sharp pain squeezed at your heart at the sight of him struggling to breathe, coughing out blood while he willed his eyes to stay open, his white shirt slowly turning crimson.
"No, no, no," you croaked, letting go of the gun to cup his face, fingers trembling as you tried to keep his head steady. Frantically, you reached into your pocket with your free, blood-covered, shaking hand, taking out the phone and hastily dialed zero to send out a distress signal.
Tom lets out a groan laced with pain as his eyes scanned your face, muttering out your character's name to get your attention, voice barely audible.
"Yeah, I'm here, I'm right here," you whispered as you met his brown orbs, a soft smile on your lips as you dropped the phone so you can tend to him with both hands. You brushed away the hair that managed to stick on his sweat-littered forehead, his blood from your hand tainting his crown, not the best of sights to see.
Tom's eyes started to gloss up as he kept letting out ragged breaths. You let out a broken sob as the heartrending sound filled up your ears, squeezing agonizingly at each vein in your heart. "S-Stay with me, please," you stammered, his skin turning a bit colder against your warm palm, your breathing turning shallow as you struggled to keep your own self together.
"Help! Please help!" you wailed, looking around the empty place frantically before your gaze landed back on the man in your arms, life slowly slipping from his grasp. "You're going to be okay," you repeated over and over, unsure if the words were said to reassure him or yourself.
The feeling of your jeans getting wet at the knees from the blood that pooled on the ground made you let out a broken cry of despair, eyes scanning his body for only a moment, the sight of red making you want to hurl. And you were too scared to look away from his eyes for far too long, scared that things will take a drastic turn in a split second.
Slowly, weakly, Tom lifted a hand up to cup your damp cheek, thumb caressing your skin as a small, tired smile made its way onto his lips. This made you cry even harder, your nimble fingers curling around his wrist, turning your head slightly for a second to give his palm a warm kiss.
"R-Remember when I-I said I'd t-take a bullet for y-you?" he sputtered, though the smile on his lips was still there, charming as always, his thumb capturing the tear that escaped your eye before it could have the chance to land on your skin.
You bit your bottom lip to suppress a whimper, shaking your head at his ability to make light of the situation. You let out a shaky breath. "I do, I remember. To prove how much I mean to you even when it's not necessary."
"I'm sorry," he whispered, running his thumb over your cheek, a few tears escaping his eyes as he scanned your gorgeous face distorted in utter distress, as he stared at the pain that glowed inside your beautiful orbs.
"N-No, there's nothing to apologize," you breathed out, your thumb grazing the apples of his cheeks as you stared right into those brown eyes you've grown to adore and more. "You saved me," you sobbed, flashing him a small smile laced with gratitude. "You saved me."
Tom nodded slowly with a hum, eyes staring right back at yours with the utmost adoration coating them, although in a few short seconds, it was quick to be replaced by worry. "You n-need to g-go," he hissed in pain, his hand grabbing your wrist to try and pry you away from him. It still wasn't safe to stay and he wanted nothing more than for you to be as far from harm, well and alive.
"No! I'm not leaving you here," you protested, a sob tied at the end of your sentence as you took his hand and placed it back on your cheek. And he held it there, channeling all the strength he had left for him to feel your skin for a couple moments more. "Help is on the way just, s-stay with me," you croaked.
Tom's breathing started to turn labored, his head falling back gradually as there was not much strength left for him to keep it still. "Hey! h-hey, look at me," you rushed, command in your tone as you went to hold his face with both hands, keeping his head steady only to see that his eyes were slowly fluttering close. "Keep those eyes open! Keep those eyes open," you said through gritted teeth, your man listening to your voice that was filled with desperation as he met your gaze again.
"P-Promise me—" Tom interrupted himself with a cough of blood, letting out a soft groan before his eyes were back on yours. "Promise me, y-you'll find h-happiness."
"N-no, don't say that, you're going to be okay." You shook your head desperately with a whimper.
"Promise me," he repeated, voice firmer this time.
Your bottom lip trembled. "I promise, just h-hold on, p-please," you choked. "Somebody! Please h-help! Please!" you yelled at the top of your lungs, urgently looking towards nothing, a sob following suit as your voice broke, hope slowly leaving you.
"H-hey, sweetheart, l-look at me," Tom called out as he tapped your cheek weakly. A whimper escaped your lips as you met his gaze once again, the emotion that shined in them so clear as day. He knows that it was time, and the certain look he was giving you made you understood. Although, you still shook your head in pure denial, muttering protests after protests under your breath as you gave his hand that rested on your cheek a tight squeeze while you kept the other steady on his face, horrified to let go even for a split second for he might be gone when you do.
"I love you," Tom breathed out, voice soft but the truth loud and clear. It was the first time he had uttered those three words, and you so wished it was done in a much, much more different circumstance. You leaned down to swiftly capture his lips in a bitter-sweet kiss, a sigh coming out of him only to be mirrored by a soft cry from you.
"I love you too, oh so much," you whispered to no one but him and him only, pulling away to meet his eyes, a certain glow now coating them at the sound of those lovely words filling up his ears. A satisfied smile made its way onto Tom's lips, his eyes locked with yours, glowing with utmost love.
But as Tom took in one deep, sharp breath, you held yours, only letting it out in a form of an excruciating sob once he completely stilled in your arms. His hand slowly slipped away from your face until it fell limp on his side, his chest laying flat, no more sign of any movement.
"No, no, no," you cried, tapping his cheek to get him to move again but to no avail. You shook your head frantically, your tears blurring your vision some more, heart in your throat as the droplets coated his face at a faster pace. "No! P-Please!" you screamed, cupping his face with trembling hands, letting go for a moment to hold his shoulder, shaking him harder in utter anguish. "C-Come back! P-Please! Come back to m-me." Your fingers found its way back to rest on his cheeks as you choked in short breaths, his eyes wide open but already dimmed, those bright, brown beautiful eyes somewhat turned gray.
"Don't leave me please," You croaked out, voice now hoarse from all the crying you've done. "I can't live without you. Please, come back to me," you whispered one last time, taking a few seconds more to stare at his face, looking at him as a flicker of hope coated your eyes for a split second before it completely died out. You dropped your head onto his chest and let out deep, broken sobs, choking in sharp breaths in between each sound that only made things more heart wrenching to hear.
It was so hard for Tom to keep his own tears at bay, a stinging, horrible feeling gripping at his chest as you cried your heart out. To watch the absolute hurt across your beautiful features, the desperation on trying to "bring him back" was too much of a painful sight to see. If he had a choice he would've opted on closing his eyes, but Jessica had specific instructions to keep them open, to make it more realistic, more effective in a sense that it would pull at the viewer's heartstrings a bit more.
But my God it was so hard to watch you be in so much pain and lay completely still, the heartbreaking sound of your sobs, the way you begged, it was absolute torture, especially when he can't do anything about it just yet. And the way your touch was frantic, desperate, it was hurting his heart harshly, agonizingly and he so badly wanted it to end because he can't take any more of just watching you go through so much pain. But most especially, he wanted it to end for your sake.
At the sound of your own cries, lungs burning with your head pounding, ears ringing, chest too tight and filled with utmost pain, you didn't even notice Jessica call out cut. The moment you knew it was all done was when you felt strong arms wrapping around your form that was still shaking with sobs.
"Hey, hey it's okay, it's over darling," Tom rushed as he sat up quickly, prying you away gently so you could meet his eyes. It broke his heart to pieces when he saw the hurt that still coated your orbs, though he was glad to see the relief slowly seeping back in once you blinked away the tears. You finally snapped out of it once you were able to take a good look at him, your bottom lip trembling as you tilted your head to the side, as if to examine if he was actually real. "I'm okay, see?" Tom hummed, voice gentle as he took both your hands and placed one on each of his cheeks, his skin warm against your touch. "I'm here my love."
All you could do was nod with a breath of relief, body falling forwards so you could sink into his arms, not a care in the world about the fake blood that drenched him. You just needed to be close to him.
Tom sighed as he pulled you tighter in his embrace, pressing his warm lip against your crown in the process. "Breath my darling angel, it's over," he murmured, followed by sweet nothings as his hand ran up and down your back comfortingly, your breathing slowly growing calmer at the tender sound of his voice.
You stayed like that on the ground for a minute, Tom only pulling away slightly when he heard footsteps approaching. "Do we need another take?" he asked dreadfully as he saw Jessica make her way over. He desperately didn't want you to go through that all again but it was out of his control. And if another take was needed, he's going to have to ask for an hour break, for your sake.
You lifted your head up just in time to see Jessica shake her head no, gesturing towards the both of you as satisfaction coated her face. "It's already the best for me. I mean, they call you two the one-take-wonder duo for a reason. And I've got tears in the crews' eyes to further prove my point." With a knowing look, she added, "But you two can watch it back if you like."
Tom turned to you, hand going up to wipe the couple more tears that littered your skin, touch sweet and reassuring. "Do you want to?" he asked softly.
You gave out a small nod. "Yeah, maybe I can do things better," you sniffled.
Tom scoffed loudly at that, gawking at you with wide eyes, taking full offence of your own words for you. "Are you kidding me? That was already amazing," he stressed. "Quit being so overly critical of yourself, darling," he added, taking both your hands in his comfortingly.
"Thank you bubba," you whispered, looking at him with an adorable pout, eyes glowing with the utmost gratitude that Tom felt his heart melt ten times over, especially with the nickname.
He flashed you a bright smile. "Now, let's get you off this wet floor." And that he did as he helped you up, pulling you in for another warm hug once you've got your feet under you.
Crew members quickly crowded you both as they helped you out of the now wet hoodie and coat, giving you each some water and two big, black warm jackets to compensate for the cold. You and Tom then made your way over to the director's chair right after.
You now stood beside Tom in front of the monitor as they started to play the clip back. Both your arms were fully wrapped around him, cheek pressed up against his chest as he slung his arm over your shoulder. His heart was turning soft at how adorable you were being, although he felt a sense of worry as well, since it seemed like you were scared to be too far away from him.
Even when they were fussing around the two of you, he saw how you kept giving him a glance, like you were scared to let him out of your sight. And once they were done, you were quick to grab his hand, as if you didn't want to feel the absence of his touch for far too long. So, he made sure to keep you as close as he can, giving you random kisses and squeezes in comfort from time to time, to reassure your mind that he was, in fact, here.
"Whew, look at you go," Tom praised, staring in pure awe at the monitor as he rewatched your performance, giving your arm a loving squeeze with a kiss on the forehead to match. "You make me look so talentless, love."
"Shut up," you said in pure disagreement given that his performance was breathtaking just as always. He did make things more real, made it hurt even more the way he portrayed dying so well. Your own performance improved because of his. As said in the beginning, you two just bounce off each other so well.
You peeked at the monitor for only short moments as you can't bear to watch it back fully, snuggling into him every once in a while with your eyes fluttering close. Tom was quick to notice this, giving you another peck on the forehead to remind you that it was okay, that things were alright. You hummed at his sweet gesture, squeezing his torso lovingly in return.
"Damn," Tom gushed once the clip ended, wiping away the stray tear that slipped with the back of his hand before turning to you with nothing but utter pride in his eyes. "And the Oscar goes to..."
"Stop," you whined, burying your face on his chest shyly, prompting a hearty chuckle from him.
"One-take-wonder duo I tell you," Jessica admired, giving you both claps on the back before she lifted up her megaphone. "That's a wrap everyone!"
Loud cheers and applause filled the air, Tom giving you a tight, warm hug as you both slowly relaxed in each other's embrace, glad that the day was almost over. You then made your way to where your teams were sat. Both of you were quick to notice how most of them were smiling proudly at the two of you with a bit of shine in their eyes.
"Harry," Tom gasped as soon as his brother came into view, Harry's face red with a faint sniffle coming out of him. "Were you crying?"
"No," the young lad grumbled, turning away in hopes to hide the way he wiped his face but still failing miserably.
"Oh Harry come here," Tom lets go of you for a moment to tackle his brother in a bear hug, making smooching noises as the older sibling tried to give the other a kiss on the cheek, Harry squirming like his life depended on it. You couldn't help the soft laugh from escaping your lips at the sight of the two boys, Tom's head perking up at the sound, a bit of relief coating his features as he tilted his head at you with a smile of his own.
"Get off you div," Harry groaned, pushing Tom away playfully, the older lad laughing before pulling away from him. "It's not my fault you two made it look so real. I genuinely thought Tom died for a second."
"Aw, thanks bro—"
"Correction, Y/N made it so real. The moment you started crying," Harry paused, blowing out his cheeks with a shake of his head, turning to you with both hands up in surrender. "I went."
"Thank you Harry." You shot the young lad a tired but grateful smile, giving him a quick but lovely hug.
"I'll let that pass for now because I do agree," Tom said, shooting his brother a playful glare before he made his way back to you, arms taking home around your waist as he looked at you adoringly. "You were incredible my love."
You smiled at him, leaning closer so you could give him a sweet kiss, just to show more of your gratitude. Tom hummed in pure satisfaction against your lips, giving your waist a tender squeeze before pulling away.
"Let's wrap up the day shall we?"
With that, the two of you made your way over to the wardrobe trailers to get out of the dirty work clothes and into comfier ones. Once out of the trailer, you now wore a pair of black leggings and Tom's pink hoodie to which he insisted on letting you wear over your tank top, given that it was starting to get colder out. He, on the other hand, wore his black sweatpants and a tight maroon t-shirt, handsome as ever but the make up on his face—the bruises, cuts, fake blood—were a bit of a distraction, feeding more thoughts to your still troubled mind.
"Come here, love." Tom beckoned you over once he noticed how you stared at him with a certain look in your eyes and a matching frown. His warm hands found yours, pulling you closer to him so he can give you loving kisses all over your face, all sloppy, loud and sweet. He only stopped when he was satisfied with the little giggles that escaped your lips. "Stop thinking too much, darling."
You flashed him a smile, nodding to say that you understood. "Are you not cold?" you asked in concern, slight guilt swimming in your orbs given that you somewhat stole his hoodie. Tom chuckled with a shake of his head, slinging his arm over your shoulder to pull you closer to his side as you then made your way to the make-up trailers.
"As long you're here beside me? My human heater? Never."
***
It was finally time to get back to the hotel.
You and Tom sat at the very back of the van, your head rested on his shoulder while his head rested atop of yours. You've been nothing but silent the whole ride, Tom not pestering you much because he knows you were drained to the bone. He just gave you occasional squeezes on the thigh, his fingers sometimes drumming some random beat just to distract you a little for what was going on inside your mind.
The moment your shared hotel room door closed, lock clicking in the process, Tom dropped your bags on the floor with the loudest sigh of relief.
"Shower together?" Tom offered with a wriggle of his brows, jokingly of course as there was no malice in his intent. You both were too tired for it, a simple shower would suffice.
A sweet smile made its way onto your lips as you nodded, taking up on his offer.
Tom moved over to you to give you a short kiss, mumbling a 'wait here' against your lips before pulling away and disappearing into the bathroom. He came back out not long after sporting nothing but his black boxers, beckoning you over with an open palm to which you gladly took. Hot steam met your skin as you stepped inside the en suite, Tom stopping by the sink as he turned to face you.
"Arms up," he said, your brows furrowing in confusion but you did as told anyway. Once you have both hands in the air, Tom took hold of the hem of your—his—hoodie and lifted it up your body, a pout making its way onto your lips once it was off. He gave your jutted out lip a peck, chuckling at the slight confusion on your face before he went to take your tank top off next.
"I'm not a baby anymore Tom. And I didn't lose any limbs," you pointed out with a soft giggle, top-half now naked in front of him
"Says who? As far as I know, you're still my baby." He shrugged, hooking his fingers on the hem of your leggings and pulling them down—along with your underwear—until he was squatted on the floor. He tapped your thigh lightly, silently telling you to lift each leg up one by one so he can take off the fabric fully. Now, you were left completely bare for him. You looked down at your man and shot him a pointed look, Tom meeting your gaze through his eyelashes as he lets out a sweet chuckle.
"Just let me take care of you love, you've had a long day," he hummed, giving each of your thighs a chaste kiss before he stood back up to his full height. He just wanted to let other things occupy your mind instead, didn't want you to sit too long and think about the scene you just did. Plus, he really did want to just take care of you, to show you the utmost love and affection as you deserve nothing but all and more, especially after today.
Another sweet kiss landed on your lips before he got rid of his boxers next, taking your hand soon after as he guided you inside the glass shower box, pulling you right under the hot water. And take care of you was exactly what he did as he helped you wash up as well. You've told him a couple of times how he was being a bit much, especially when he stole the loofa off your hands to do it himself, shampooed and conditioned your hair. But he simply repeated the same thing over and over:
"Just let me take care of you."
A few more giggles and chuckles with a couple sprinkles of making-out later, you two got out of the shower and dried up. Then after that, Tom gave you one of his shirts to wear—paired with only your panties—and helped you blow dry your hair so you could take a quick nap, an easy breezy task for him since it was not the first time. He's done it before on various occasions.
Once you were soundlessly asleep—after a few more kisses from him as he tucked you in because yes, your boyfriend is extra—Tom took it upon himself to order in some food, that way you'd have something to eat when you wake up, knowing that you probably wouldn't want to go anywhere to have a meal. He sent Harry a text in the process saying that the two of you would be staying in for the night in case the team wanted to go out for dinner.
In his gray sweats and white t-shirt, Tom sat down on the couch right by the window near your side of the bed, pulling out his computer to get a bit of work done while he waits. He didn't want to risk waking you up by slipping in beside you, didn't want to disturb your blissful sleep.
He kept giving you glances from time to time, just to check up on you, his heart growing bigger whenever he does so. Warmth just spreads across his chest each time he sees your beautiful face with nothing but slumber and peace coating your features.
The food arrived about thirty minutes later, Tom setting his laptop down to open the door, room service strolling in with fresh and hot food. He closed the door after he tipped the guy generously, walking over to the table to take some chips off the plate, humming at the wonderful taste.
Opting on letting you sleep for a couple minutes more, Tom went back over to the couch. But just as he was about to sit back down, he heard you let out a troubled groan in your sleep. Surely enough when his gaze landed on you, your face was now contorted in pure distress, brows knitted together as you shifted on the bed, one hand desperately clinging on the pillow while the other on the white sheets.
"Tom!" you yelped and bolted straight up, eyes frantic and chest heaving as you looked around the room for him.
"Hey! Hey." Tom was by your side in an instant, the bed dipping as he sat down, his hands cupping your face gently to make you look at him straight in the eyes. "Darling, hi, I'm here," he whispered with a sweet smile, heart aching at the sight of fear and the fresh sets of tears that now coated your eyes.
Your bottom lip trembled as you stared at him for a couple seconds, moving closer towards him so you could bury yourself in his arms. "I'm sorry," you mumbled against his chest, both your arms wrapping around his torso as you let out uneven, shaky breaths.
"Nothing to apologise for angel. It was just a nightmare," he murmured, rubbing your back sweetly as he swayed you side to side. "It's okay, you're okay." He held you like that for as long as you needed, whispering sweet nothings into your ear in hopes that it'll help you calm down. Tom only loosened his hold around when you softly pulled away, breathing now calmer, sniffling close to none.
"Want to watch a movie while we eat? The chips are really good," he said, both hands now holding your face, thumbs caressing your cheeks tenderly as he wiped away the little tears that sat on your skin. "Spider-Man: Far From Home so we can nitpick and criticize my performance together?" he added jokingly, earning a soft giggle from you as you nodded.
With half of the food gone, you were well into fifteen minutes of the movie. There were a couple of pauses done of course. Now you were snuggled up cozily beside him, your head on his chest as he rested his back against the stacked pillows. He had one arm over your shoulder to keep you close, fingers grazing up and down your arm soothingly while his eyes were set on the screen in front, his warmth comforting you in more ways than one.
The whole pole sequence in Venice was when he felt you start to shift in his arms, a shaky breath coming out of you when you saw him hit that wall as he got drenched in water. And then you spoke,
"Tom, what if—"
"Stop it right now and don't even finish your sentence," he scolded, already knowing where you were going with this. You pulled away from his embrace and sat up straighter just so you could have a full look at him, a deep frown already on your lips.
"You do your own stunts," was all that you said, but Tom already knew what you meant by it, didn't need you to explain further.
With a sigh, he sat up as well, touch tender as he ran it up and down your arms. "Darling, I am being careful with the stunts, you know that. And when it's something too dangerous, you also know that I refuse to do it," he said. "Plus, you're right there to stop me when I'm pushing myself too hard. You're looking out for me too, my love."
Even though you gave him a nod, Tom saw how that still didn't ease your mind, saw it clear in your eyes. He couldn't blame you either knowing how that scene made you think the worse of thoughts. He understood you completely, knowing that if the roles were switched, he would be behaving just the same if not much worse with how overprotective he is of you. He'd probably wrap you in a bubble to be honest, to make sure you're as far away from harm as possible and that nothing was going to happen to you.
"Come here," he hummed, taking your hands and pulling you close until you were straddling his lap, giving your fingers warm kisses before he placed them, flat against his cheeks. Tom's warm palms found their way under his shirt that you wore, settling his hands right on your waist, his thumb running over the swell of your belly fondly, skin touching skin, makes you feel much closer to him.
Tom gaped up at you with nothing but absolute love in his eyes, a glow that's made your heart grow warmer, a look that's added more sincerity to his words. "Nothing's going to happen to me okay? You're going to be stuck with this very handsome face for a long, long time."
You giggled at that, dipping your head so you could capture his lips in a kiss filled with the rawest of emotions from gratitude, happiness, adoration, passion, love. Tom didn't need words for him to know that you were thankful for him, that you were so happy to have him in your life, he can already feel it. Your actions will always speak louder volumes, justifying all the emotions you needed to get across that simple words never could.
With a satisfied groan, Tom pulled you even closer, his hands snaking up your bare back, your shirt hiking up at his action. He felt up your warm skin deliberately, touch driven with passion as he nibbled on your bottom lip, wanting to taste more of you. You happily obliged with a soft moan, your fingers treading through his slightly damp curls as you welcomed him in. And Tom made his presence known through his touch, to remind you that he is here with you, that he will always be here, and that he is—
"Not going anywhere."
-:-:-:-:-
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wizkiddx · 4 years
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...surprise
um okay so here I am trying angst again. this is kind of intended to be open ended bcos might have a part two at some point. im also lazy and has a few time jumps. also if someone could pls explain if you just get pics for the top of these off internet or credit on like gifs or something that’d be appreciated.
Summary: Tom comes home and everything is most definitely not the way he left, nor is it healthy
Warnings: please read with caution esp relationship with food / weightloss, but just generally a person in a bad bad head space, lots of self blame - then next parts will carry different warnings too
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Tom had been away for months. Months and months away from his girlfriend, separated entirely by his filming locations in Europe and America; while you were busy slowly and steadily climbing the ranks of your law firm. Being an intense period for the pair, you hadn’t managed to see each other in 2 and a half months.  Of course, both go you were used to this - 3 years deep into a relationship between an actor and a wanna-be lawyer- this was the name of the game.
But honestly? You both just kept falling deeper and deeper, making the separation harder to deal with - rather than getting used to it as one might hope.
That's why Tom felt such an incredibly overwhelming wave of relief as he dumped his bags just outside his front door. Even though he was exhausted from the travelling, just the mere act of finally phishing out his housekeys brought a massive grin to his face - caused particularly by the sight of his tacky little keyring from a Moroccan market that you’d bought him. That had been your first holiday. There’s that old saying that before you move in with someone go on holiday first - Tom understood it to mean you supposedly see all the bad and ugly stuff people can hide from each other, a prewiring before committing to living in the same space. However that holiday all he’d learned was incredible you are to him. To his dying day, Tom will never forget the moment he looked over to his left when the two of you were on this night time stargaze in the depth of the Moroccan desert. Y/n had never seen stars like it, the skies so incredibly clear and lit up with an array of magical blues and purples and whites on its sark background. The sight, for no unexplainable reason, had you completely opening up to Tom about things she’d never told a single soul. And in that moment he’d had this sort of realisation. Not about how much he loved her - because that is just the cliche thing everyone says… and also just wasn’t true.
In that moment he’d rather realised the potential. The sort of ‘I’m not there yet but I know you could become the centre of my universe’. The sort of ‘I’m not ready to say this yet, but I want to spend my life with you’. The sort of ‘at some point in my life I’m not sure my heart will be able to beat without yours’.
He still hadn’t quite got to explicitly saying all that yet, by asking you for the ultimate commitment. But he planned to now he was coming back to you.
Even with the chill of the early evening winter air, Tom was almost ecstatic as he unlocked the door and let himself in. He hadn’t told you that he was coming home, you thought he had another two weeks on the job, but Tom was a bit of an old romantic - he loved seeing your eyes fill with wonder as he surprised you in whatever way. Sometimes it was as simple as a note on the fridge, or a small bouquet from behind his back or as fancy as a surprise holiday.
However, this time, though it was only 6 in the evening, all the lights of their house were off making Tom raise an eyebrow as he quietly slipped off his shoes - not wanting to scare Y/n just in case.
Tom had sworn when he’d been on the phone with you the previous day, you didn’t have any plans tonight but perhaps maybe a spontaneous pub trip and been offered with work colleagues. The house felt a little cold as he padded through it, poking his head into every room just to check Y/n wasn’t there. His last port of call was the bedroom.
By this point, Tom was pretty resigned on the fact you were out and he’d maybe cook a meal for when you got back or hide about the house or something. But instead, when he poked his head around this door, he sighed in delight at the sight of a still mound under the plush white sheets. For a brief moment, Tom paused, before tiptoeing steadily round to her bedside. The light was still off but the hallway light illuminated the room enough so he could make out your soft features and the messy ball of hair that had been haphazardly thrown in a bun. Furthermore, he could also notice in the light the packet of painkillers and migraine tablets lying opened on the bedside - which made him freeze. Y/n didn’t get migraines often at all, but when she did Tom knew just how bad they could be. That explained the fact you were spark out at six o’clock, making Tom give a sympathetic smile. He crept back out the room with a little spring in his step, deciding that since he had had a long day travelling he'd grab a snack and join you. Unfortunately though, when he enthusiastically yanked the fridge open the sight was a rather depressing one. He didn’t really know what he was craving but the fridge contents were of almost no use to anyone. The place was bloody baron, apart from a tub of butter and of course his special beers that Y/n would never dare touch. With a small huff though, Tom resigned himself to some bread and butter, before getting ready for bed.
It was probably an hour later when Tom was carefully crawling under the duvet to settle in beside Y/n after the disappointing snack and maybe a solitary ‘welcome home beer’ - it would be rude not to. God was he excited to just have his girlfriend in his arms again though. So, Tom naturally reached over and powerfully yet gently pulled you back towards him - making your back flush with his as you mumbled something incoherent. Chuckling slightly at your apparent annoyance of being disturbed, Tom pressed a kiss to her temple before settling down momentarily.
But something wasn’t quite right, making Tom shuffle about a bit - ever adjusting huis grasp on your waist as he attempted to get comfy. With the migraine medications forcing you into a deep deep sleep you barely stirred and that just made the unease increase for Tom. Because you didn’t feel right. This didn’t feel right. Ever so slowly Tom started to peel back the duvet from your body from his now sitting upright position. Typically, Y/n was wearing one of his hoodies, however more concerningly it seemed to pool and collect around your frame more than normal.
Now, Y/n was never the most petite person in the world - by no means overweight, instead of beautiful curves and muscle. To Tom now though, it was as if someone had literally shrunk you - like a picture on a word document you needed to make narrower to fit the margins. Even in the dim light of the bedroom he know realised you looked pale. Honestly, Tom didn’t know how long he just sat there staring at you, until you sighed a little and pulled the duvet back up to just under your chin.
He didn’t know what to think or do. All he knew was you didn’t look well and that you hadn’t said a thing to him. Feeling so very uncomfortable within himself, Tom climbed out the bed and simultaneously grabbed his phone. He knew he had to call someone, to check that you hadn’t been ill - but then who to call? Someone that wouldn’t judge or instantly worry- your mum was completely off the cards. Also, he hadn’t even given you the chance to explain yet, so really he knew there was only a couple of options who were close enough to him too.
“Hey what’s up?” “Um nothing much, back in the UK though so-“ “Oh shit really! Kept that one quite bro” “Yeh well came back to surprise Y/n” “Oh you're soooo whipped” “Fuck off Haz, have you um… have you seen her recently anyway?” “You're asking me if I’ve seen your girl while you’ve been away?” “I’m being serious. You’re pretty much brother and sister and I’m -I’m a bit worried.” “What? You know she wouldn’t cheat especially with me” Haz’s tone turned less serious, using a goofy accent “ I know too much.” Haz still attempted to lighten the mood, this conversation very unexpected and making him grow more and more concerned himself. “Haz quit it. I’m worried she’s been ill. I’ve come in and she’s asleep with a migraine but there’s no food in the fridge and she’s skinny as hell.” “Fuck er sorry I didn’t realise. But um no she’s been cancelling on us for the past like two weeks cos like…I don’t know said she was just snowed under at the firm so” “But before then?” “No yeh she was fine. Went to the pub a couple times and she always drove so didn’t drink but nothing weird - think she wanted to keep a clear head. What are you thinking?” “I don’t know to be honest mate. She seemed fine on the phone but I swear to god she looks half the size  of what she was when I left.” “Just talk to her in the morning? She probably is just stressed if work has been mad busy.” Tom hummed in agreement, half trying to convince himself too. “Yeh yeh, sorry for bothering you.” “Oh shut up mate - I’ll see you both at your parents for the roast tomorrow? Sams got some new recipe I think, he’s been wittering on about it for days.” “Yeh we’ll be there, see you then mate.” 
After signing off to Haz, Tom placed his phone on the little table on the upstairs hallway and sighed. He knew he was being over-protective but he couldn’t help it. Y/n was always the one to care for him, in fact to care for everybody int he room and then some.
He’d get to the bottom of whatever this was tomorrow, and so the rest of the evening Tom spent rather unhappily get ready before bed yet again before climbing back in next to you.
///////////////////////////
Tom woke before you, a combination of jet lag and the worry in the pit of his stomach meaning he stirred awake first. Instinctively he pulled you closer and nuzzled his nose into the side of your neck as he slowly began to wake up properly - shrugging off the grogginess. Tom was still really excited for you to realise he was back, predicting you  to excitedly hug him ever so tight and then spend the morning between the sheets. He knew you found the distance tough, especially when all your closest friends were coupled off, it meant you just didn’t have ‘your person’. It was almost as if you were single again and instead of pining over an ex, hopelessly and completely in love with someone across the globe. But that just made your time together even more invaluable and precious.
So even with his slight unease at your slimmer silhouette, Tom didn't have any control over the loopy grin that came to his face as you started to stir and mumble something incoherent, all the while (and subconsciously) inching closer towards him. By the slight fluttering under your eyelid, Tom knew you were waking up and so took the moment to tuck your frizzy bed hair behind your ear. Sighing contently Y/n’s eyes fluttered completely open and Tom met your gaze with the most gently of smiles.
However, he then watched moment by moment as your expression morphed for one of peacefulness and content, through confusion, and ending at pure terror. He had barely thought of asking you why, before you yelped, throwing yourself up into a sitting position and backing as far away on the bed as you could from Tom. “TOM... I-you can’t be here! YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!” “Y/n hey what’s wrong-“ “GET OUT! G-GET THE FUCK OUT! YOU CAN’T BE HERE” you  yanked the bedsheets to completely cover your huddled up body, as if trying to protect yourself. At this point, tears were streaming down your face and what truly terrified Tom was the expression of horror in your eyes. He threw his hands in the air and unsteadily stumbled to his feet. “O-okay I’m-“ “GET OUT!!! YOU CAN'T SEE ME GET OUT!” Completely bemused and shocked, Tom just nodded jerkily -already halfway out the door and accidentally slamming it in haste.
He had absolutely zero clue what that was about. But what he knew for a fact? He’d never ever seen you like that… you looked so completely terrified… of him? Tom couldn’t for the life of him work out what the hell was going on, as he paced from the shut door to the hallway wall and back again, running his hand through his hair throughout. He could hear you sobbing and whisper yelling - presumably at yourself. It felt as though his heart was being torn out, seeing you that upset and it appearing as his fault? He was acting on pure instinct and adrenalin because your pain hurt him too. He had no control of the physiological response in his body, making his hands shake and breathing increase in speed as it inversely got shallower too.
And so he took a short inhalation, biting his bottom lip as he knocked on the door. “Y/n?….” He got no response after waiting a couple of seconds so tried again - because he could hear you trying to stifle your sobs. After another two failed attempts he opted for a different approach. “Y/n… I’m worried about you… look, I know your upset right now but I need you to let me know your okay… or I’ll have to come in and…and I don’t want to spook you” “Don’t come in.” It was a sharp reply, with a voice that was cracked and clearly trying to keep It together. “Okay… I-I’m sorry if my surprise of coming home was a dumb idea…I-I’ve missed you.” Tom tried speaking softly, as he knelt down and sat with this back against the wall while nervously fiddling with his watch strap that he’d forgot to take off last night. Again he waited for a response but got nothing, again having to warn you he needed to know you were okay. He heard movements from the other side of the door, making him turn his head to the left, pressing his ear on the cool gloss paint. “I-I’m sorry” You barely were whispering, but Tom could sense you were now sitting in a position mirroring his “You don’t meed to apologise love” Returning her tone, Tom sighed at the end - trying to get his brain to process what was going on.
Y/n wasn’t one to overreact and Tom could count on one hand the number of serious fights they’d had in the three year romance. And even then, he was the one to raise his voice - when she argued it was more reasoned, slow and controlled. Actually it was one of the things that in those moments infuriated him even more - you were just so level headed and sensible. Scratch that, sensible purely in this context - everywhere else you were just as loopy as him. So this situation felt so very alien. He didn’t know how to help you and he bloody hated feeling useless.
After a few moments, you replied to apologise once again, for shouting specifically,  and Tom nodded - not that you could see. But that was one of the things Y/n had taught him, sometimes you just have accept things - no matter the context. Accept he wasn’t actually a superhero and couldn’t do everything, accept that sometimes he could be a dick and out of line or accept an apology.
“Can you.. can you try and tell me why your upset? I want to help.” He was trying to be gentle, non-confrontational. But he knew something was so wrong. He needed to know so he could try and help out. “I…”Y/n began, but quickly trailed off, as if trying to formulate the words properly. “I’ve just been ill and” again another pause “and I haven’t been looking after myself very well. I just planned to be umm- to be better when you got back.”
It wasn’t a lie. It wasn’t really the truth either, at least not the whole truth. But it wasn’t a lie.
“I’m not sure I understand why your so worried about what I think though?” Tom inquired, as he started to fiddle with the door handle in his left hand - as if easing the idea of coming into his girlfriend without scaring you. In reply, you sighed again trying to put the words together without explicitly spelling it out to him. “I don’t- I thought you’d just be disappointed or-or think I’m reliant on you. I’m not and I can handle myself I just…. I don’t know.” “I love you, you idiot.”Tom chuckled at that, while standing up. “Can I come in now please? I promise I’m not disappointed just want to help you feel better.”
The door opened and no sooner could Tom take a step forward than Y/n ran into his chest, wrapping herself tightly around him in apology. He knew that he didn’t have the full story but really didn’t want to push her, more preferring to just love her. So that’s what they spent the rest of the morning doing, in their pyjamas and watching TV. Quite obviously, she wasn’t really making a lot of conversation, Tom filled some gaps with talking about filming - to which she’d hum in agreement or chuckle along. But for the most part Y/n was concentrating on something else.
The all-consuming guilt. That was what was eating away at her.
part 2?
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zumpietoo · 2 years
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(well now it’s all out in the open, Liar of Slizzy!!!)
I don’t dislkie then, except I’m a total racist just like you guys and completely hate it.....because otherwise, why TF would I be on a tumblr consisting of bad fanfic, old gifsets as “proof” Jizzy r endgame and daily, “I don’t hate Tabi/Jabi, buuuutttt...”
Plenty, repeatedly....that you don’t see it simply shows your disgusting bias. And I think we can all further attribute this to, “I’m not racist, buuutt.....”
We’re “assuming” they’re in love with each other based on nearly 2 seasons of first slow burn, now active devotion......and, again, it’s always hilarious we get this from the peeps who fapped themselves raw over “hey” and a shoulder tap. 
Soooo....looking in the mirror and subbing “I want Cole’s D for Slizzy/PP/Me and racism hate boners? Also, what “projection”? Dude, they’re a canon ship, the writers and the actors have stated as much.....
And ever think the physical shit’s left to a minimum so Erinn won’t get even moar hate from you nutbars?
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Bullshit. I also loooovvveee how y’all are compelled to “send” (cuz, LBR) these missives to yourselves/your socks every fuckin’ day....honestly, if it’s all true, why so pressed? Wouldn’t this “prove” you’ll have Jizzy (with all its toxicity, Jug endlessly second--at best, cereal cheetah Slizzy always seeking to fuck somebody nu, etc?), why so endlessly concerned over a ship you simply feel is “platonic”? Why do you thusly always want Tabs to “suffer”, too? 
Also, Jizzy is nothing but “intimate touches of comfort” and, even if you were right about “platonic” (no), friendships typically have that, as well. Plus while, OG Jizzy did have exceptional chemistry (they were a couple then, duh), none of the OG couples otherwise did....and that chemistry is no longer there, because of your kween. 
Plus, again, WHY do you make the same, very dull and hackneyed whinings, every day? Liar of Slizzy certainly won’t make your wish come true. She’s never even remotely right. 
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Bullshit, Jabi do have chemistry----Barfie don’t, but they’re terrible actors, KokeJ never does (with wimmin, excepting MM, at least) AND PP tried to fuck him and, honestly, Minkle/Tolars have infinitely better chemistry than either ever had with Gossip Ghey or Pussy....again, cuz fuckbuddies.....
The rumors you and Snorty started, Liar of Slizzy? Cuz per Cole and Erinn, they get along really well. See above for the others....ya know who DON’T GET ALONG WELL AT ALL??? Yeah, the couple doing split screens for platonic scenes. 
But “hey” and being an utter cuntwipe prove epic twu wuv? Wow, who knew? Also, dude....again, find something new. Stop repeating yourselves....and now it’s the writers, again? I thought “the beats were yours”?????
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It pains me to say this, but Barfie are, actually fine as currently depicted....however, apparently, Slizzy IS a complete slut and is gonna be trashing that soon enough for a hot lady.....
Nope, again, interesting you claim “say it enough and it will be true, because that’s what YOU’RE doing.....but, again, I don’t call y’all the “Gaslighter Gang” for nothing....
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Because your dream was always for Tabs to be a mammy figure---as your fanfics fully demonstrate. You all persuaded yourselves and it was utterly pathetic.
And yes, you WILL have to “stand them” thru likely all of season 7, possible endgame.....and since, supposedly, it’s only that they bore you, once again, why so pressed?
No, you think they should’ve had her “know her place”. We know exactly how she feels, she’s devastated and doesn’t even seem to know how to handle it/manage it. And seems like you don’t even watch the show....or you’d know she was yelling at him because she was afraid he’d kill himself and she was possessed when she trashed the typewriter. Which only you guys GAF about. 
She doesn’t have seekrits, dude.....she isn’t Slizzy....that’s the point. 
Again, you really do fanfic in these scenes, too, huh?
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lilydalexf · 4 years
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Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.
Interview with Michelle Kiefer
Michelle has 55 stories at Gossamer. If you haven’t read them, what are you waiting for?! She has great takes on Mulder and Scully. I’ve recced some of my favorites of her fics here before, including Christmas in California, Making Other Plans, and Six Inch Valley. Big thanks to Michelle for doing this interview.
Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?
I’m not sure anyone is still reading my stories.  I haven’t migrated my X-Files ones to AO3. I don’t think Gossamer provides any viewing statistics. I’d be very happy to hear that people still like my work.
What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?
My X-Files fandom experience was amazing.  I remember that sense of excitement and immediacy.  It was thrilling to write stories (and read those of other authors, of course) in an active fandom for a show that was on the air.  It was truly my first experience in an online world--a parallel world to my real life existence.  I learned how to keep a foot in each world.  As I recall, it was very hard to keep my focus in my “meat” world, when the online one was so fast moving and thrilling.  But I did get some balance in my life as time went on.
Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?
Message boards and mailing lists were my experience.  They were primitive compared to the pretty screens now.  I forged some amazing friendships, some of them with people I discovered lived relatively near me.  All I wanted to do was discuss episodes and fic.  The flame wars were a little intimidating, but also amusing if you didn’t get swept up.
What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?
I was very passionate about the fandom--as I said, there were times when my online life seemed to overpower my real life experiences.  I learned to manage that, and think I’m all the better for that.  And I found some amazing friendships that are active and thriving today.  I learned a lot about writing with XF fanfic.  The level of quality was stunning.  A decent percentage of fic were as good or better than traditional published fiction.  But there were so many writers!  I wanted to make an impact on the fanfiction world, but that meant taking my writing very seriously and learning to develop a story, pace that story, make it compelling and believable.
What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?
I had a couple of coworkers that talked about the show all the time.  I was curious, so I watched an episode.  I believe it was the cannibal town one.  I thought David Duchovny was odd looking and wasn’t terribly impressed.  But I tried another episode - Wetwired, which blew me away with the morgue scene when Mulder thinks he’s going to identify Scully’s body.  Ah...I thought, now, I see what everyone is talking about!  And from then I was hooked.
What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?
As I watched, I wanted more.  I was fairly new to the internet (frankly, the internet was new to almost everyone)  I found episode reviews, and some of them were fantastic.  Some mentioned fanfiction.  I was unaware of such a thing, though to be honest, since childhood, I’d been spinning stories in my head about characters on TV shows.  I found some fanfic. The first couple of stories were not great (at least one was horrible) but then I found some that were very good.  Probably a bit soap-operaish, but still readable.  And then I became voracious as I plowed through the mass of stories looking for the good stuff.  And boy was there good stuff.
What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?
I’m not estranged from it, but I don’t spend much time with it after all these years.  I’ve found fanfic in some other shows that I like and only occasionally read old XF stories.
Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?
I’ve not been as involved with any other fandoms, i.e. following commentary on the show.  I tend to dive into TV shows well after their heyday, so I’m always late to the party. I do read fanfic from other shows, and have actually written fanfic for other shows, but I need a really good idea to write.  None of the other fandoms for my other shows are as busy and active as XF, even ones currently in production.  And none of them have as much fanfic and certainly not the level of brilliance that we had in XF.
Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?
I tend to go for interesting partnerships, very much in the XF fashion.  And a flawed hero is always a plus!  The partnerships don’t necessarily have to be romantic---in fact I find I prefer those that are not.  Really, Mulder and Scully were the only ones I felt deeply as a pairing, probably due to the chemistry between the actors. But the partnerships have to be well-balanced and realistic.  I loved the characters on Sleepy Hollow.  The two main characters were very much in the mold of Mulder/Scully.
My newest passion is British detective shows and I’ve completely fallen for the “Morse-verse” shows, Inspector Morse, Inspector Lewis and Endeavour.  Less of an XF feel, but compelling characters with interesting backstories.  Other favorite partnerships in the British detective genre are on Inspector Lynley and Broadchurch.
Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?
A bit less now, though I’m still involved with a wonderful group of ladies who love the X-Files.  When we get together for a yearly weekend, we binge episodes and eat impressive amounts of junk food.  XF isn’t on network TV these days, but if it was, I’d probably watch it.
A couple of years ago, I listened to Kumail Nanjiani’s XF podcast on my long commute.  I loved the commentary and interviews so much that I did watch some old episodes.
Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?
I don’t read much XF fic.  I’m currently reading in some other fandoms, but it’s harder to find good stories--the ones I follow aren’t very active these days and the quality just isn’t what XF was.  We were so lucky.  We had maybe 20 incredible top authors at any one time, then maybe another tier of 50 to 100  good to maybe great writers.  And with new episodes, there was so much inspiration. We were so spoiled.
Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?
Everything from Syntax6, MaybeAmanda, Kel.  A special story for me was “Strangers and the Strange Dead” by Kipler because I remember reading that very early in the morning in my unheated basement in the winter because that was the only time I could use our single computer without others in the family complaining.  I remember actually gasping at the big reveal in the story.  I can even remember the story’s opening line!
What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?
I was just learning how to write fiction when I was involved in XF, so I’m not sure my best work is there, though the bulk of my stories are there.  I liked some of the work I did with others.  I wrote Bone of Contention and Out of the Everywhere with Kel and I think that those stories got the best aspects of both of our styles.  For stories I wrote myself, I think they’re not bad, but they are rather short and it’s always easier to maintain a theme and style for a short story.  I liked Black Cherry Velvet.  I’m writing some Inspector Lewis stories that I think are pretty good--they benefit from the years of experience that I was gaining through XF.
Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?
Never say never, but I probably won’t write more XF.  I used to burn with it, but I think that got burned out a bit.  Still, I have such wonderful memories of the whole period.  It might be worth looking at again.
Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?
As I mentioned, I am currently playing in the Inspector Lewis world.  It’s sad--it’s a very small and not terribly active fandom.  Sad that my best work is in an inactive fandom where I’m lucky if 20 or 30 people are reading them.  It doesn’t help that I don’t write the most popular pairing.  
But I’m really enjoying it.  I occasionally write for Man From Uncle, which really shows my age, as that was a childhood obsession.
Where do you get ideas for stories?
With XF, it was always a take on an episode--did I get a tiny idea that I wanted to develop, or was I not thrilled with the way something went on the show.  Now,  it’s usually a “what if” kind of thing where I get inspired by a possible event and explore how that would play out, i.e.  “What if this character had a one night stand resulting in an unplanned pregnancy?”  What would happen?  How would he handle the consequences of this?  How would it change his life?
What's the story behind your pen name?
It’s literally my own name.  I SOOOO wish I’d used a pen name.  But I was naive and fandom was so new to me that it never occurred to me that a pen name would be better.  I always told myself that my real name sounded like something made up, like a TV newscaster name, and I hoped people assumed it was a pen name.
Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?
My husband and my kids were the only ones who knew about it for many years. Then I went to a fandom/fic gathering for three days and had to explain to a few other family members and my work mates why I was going to Chicago on my own. It’s still mostly a need to know thing and they don’t really need to know.
Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?
I’m on AO3 as msk.  And everything I wrote for XF is on Gossamer.
(Posted by Lilydale on February 2, 2021)
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1980ssunflower · 2 years
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heheh GUSH PASS BESTIE 🎟️🎟️🎟️!!! HAVE A LOVELY NIGHT BRO!!
SCREAMING AND CRYING OK❗❗❗❗
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I GENUINELY CANT IMAGINE EVER LOVING ANYONE MORE THAN THESE TWO!!
I love them for every little thing! I fell for their passions and personalities! Their love for music and their love for EACHOTHER are huge reasons why I love them as deeply as I do tbh including all of their imperfections! which if you've watched the show yknow that the point of the show is for the protags to overcome their problems and better themselves as people!
They both can be pretty insufferable in different ways and like. Ryan definitely has done the worst things. Examples being, Ryan stealing Mins work keys to force him to chase him to the train station, lying to Min abt a gig in New York to get him to run away with him, and considering leaving Min and going through the portal home (although the scene afterward showing how guilty Ryan feels and genuinely how low he thinks of himself is so sad like FUCK)
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SORRY FOR JUST RANTING ABT THEIR CHARACTER ARCS FOR A SEC BUT GHDFSJKHFDSJK
genuinely genuinely I fell for them when I first laid my eyes on them !!
now I'm just going to rant unrestrained on how I feel looking at images of them online so like. going to be under a read more and tbh will maybe be a bit suggestive (edit: yeah it is)
RYAN💖🎸
GENUINELY WHY IS HE SO CUTE!!!!! HES GORGEOUS WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!! he has the cutest and stupidest expressions and ghdfjkhgdfjkgdf like GOD i love his pretty long hair and his red glasses and hes so SHORT and CUTE AND SOMEHOW STRONG❓❗ like he could just pick me up all princess style and maybe slam me on the bed idk
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LIKE OOOOUHGGGGGGSHD
and hes literally the biggest whore ever (in a very goofy way)
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stares directly at your c-
and like oughh when he gets pissed off im like 😳💦💦
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angry ryan please rai- *gets shot*
IMAGE: RYAN FUCKING DIES
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MIN💙🎹
I FORGOT,,, OF THE 10 IMAGE LIMIT,,, RIP MIN IM SORRY;;;
OK BUT MIN IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 😳😳😳
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(spongebob licking poster meme)
BOOBS!!! BOOBAH!!!!!!
Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! *eyes pop out* AROOOOOOOOGA! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum *milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets* BABY WANTS TO FUCK *inhales from the gas tank* honka honka honka honka
BACK TO IT
Min is the BIGGEST dork ever i see him on screen and screen and cry and throw up i cant get over how much of a loser he is hgfdsjk
I ALSO love his hair sm like ryan like i think his pompadour suits him but he ALSO looks soooo cute with his hair down and its a shame we dont ever see it outside of ep 1 😔💔💔 ALSO I KNOW HES FASHIONABLE I KNOW IT!!!!! DONT JUDGE HIM ON HIS DIGS HE HAD ON THE TRAIN HE WAS WEARING HIS WORK CLOTHES WITH HIS JACKET OVER IT!!!!
Hes both tall, big, and beefy + chub but manages to be so LAME im OBSESSED 💙💙💙
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gives him a kiss on his cute little nose <33
HIS VOICE,,, HIS STUTTERS,,, HIS VOICE CRACKS!!! I GENUINELY CANT GET ENOUGH OF IT,,, and SOMEHOW he has the same voice actor as crypto from apex legends
I also wish we ever got to hear him sing solo,,, i know he has such a nice singing voice 😭💔💔
my fav deliveries from him in show was the way he says the lines
"You think THATS gnarly? Check THESE out! Keys to the Dumpty Kingdom"
"THERE WAS A BATHROOM TO CHANGE IN THIS WHOoOLE TIIIIIIIIIIIIME???!?!??!"
and of course the heartbreaking
"You,,, you LEFT me,,,"
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Text
Basement Of No Hope (Rob Benedict x Reader)
[Actors-Masterlist]
Summary: Louden Swain had a few upcoming gigs & you decided to rent a house in the area. Jason & you tagged along, being the opening act for each show. The house was big, six bedrooms, enough for everyone. When you could not agree on who would occupy which room, you let a good old game of rock paper scissors decide for you. Today was your lucky day, apparently.
Words: 2,430
Warnings: language, mentions of nightmare (I had to bring some angst in there, okay?), Rob being dramatic af (other people write songs about heartbreak, dude, but it’s alright), strong dislike of basements (from personal experience lmao), soooo much fluff it’s kinda disgusting
Inspired by: “Basement Of No Hope” by Louden Swain (aka Robbie & his dramatic ass writing a song because he lost a game of rock paper scissors – no, really…if you haven’t watched the video, pls do, it’s hilarious)
If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤
You were at the airport in Nashville, currently waiting on your luggage. The flight had been rather relaxing, you even managed to get an hour or two of sleep in. Rob’s shoulder was used as a pillow but he did not seem to mind. Here you were, with the Swain boys & Jason. The following nights, Louden Swain had multiple gigs lined up, all in the area. They had asked Jason & you to join, to be their opening act. Having a few songs on your own & being more than comfortable to perform next to Jason, you agreed. Of course you did. Rob & you were…something, after all. Neither of you knew what you were but you were something. Best friends, but you were best friends with all of the boys. The only difference was that you did not want to kiss them when you looked them in the eyes. Rob was the exception. Everyone was aware of your crush on him. Everyone but him, it seemed.
Two vans were waiting for you all. They were supposed to bring you to your accommodation for the next few days. Rob, Jason & you were occupying one car while Billy, Stephen & Mike seated themselves in the other. Most people were confused because you only ever hung out with men but you did have girlfriends, too. Well, they were Rob’s friends first but you guys hit it off immediately. Besides, it was great to hang out with people who shared your passion for music. Your music career was still in the starting blocks but you had released your debut EP not too long ago & luckily, a lot of Louden Swain’s fans loved your music as well.
It was late when you arrived at your destination. Lazily, everyone dragged their suitcases inside, putting them in the entrance area. The moment you wanted to grab your stuff, Rob beat you to it, sent you a wink & left you standing outside, dumbfounded. He could be such a dork. After shaking your head & chuckling quietly to yourself, you followed him inside. Looked like you were interrupting a heated discussion. Listening to it for a few moments, you could make out that apparently, they were arguing about who would get what room to sleep in. Rolling your eyes, you were annoyed by their childish behavior. It was moments like this where you asked yourself if they were grown ass men or defiant children. Today, it was the latter.
“Guys, guys, guys. Can y’all turn it down for a second?” your voice was loud but not loud enough for them to hear you. Crossing your arms over your chest, you tried again, this time literally yelling.
“GUYS! SHUT UP FOR FUCKS SAKE!” like a switch, the discussion died down & five pairs of eyes were looking at you.
“Thanks. Okay, let’s try this again, shall we? Billy, what’s the matter?” knowing Billy was usually the one to keep it cool in situations like these, you turned to him & waited for his answer.
“Really? You’re asking him?” Rob chimed in. Rolling your eyes once more, you focused on Billy, waiting for his explanation.
“So, there are six bedrooms for six people, right?” you nodded, signaling him that you understood & he continued. “Stephen checked all of them. They are okay. All except one. The one in the basement. It’s…creepy.” he finished. Letting out a quick laugh, you were not sure if he was kidding or not. But his look told you that he was being serious.
“You’ve got to be kidding me…” you mumbled under your breath.
“No, really, (Y/N). You gotta check it out. It’s bad.” Jason spoke up & motioned for you to follow him. Heading downstairs you were shocked to say the least. Okay, you had to admit, it was not luxurious whatsoever. The exact opposite. When you made your way back to the entrance area, the boys were waiting for you reaction.
“Okay, I get it. But guys, come on, it’s late…Can’t we just go to bed &, I don’t know, deal with this later?” an exhausted sigh escaped you.
“Sure, you can take the bedroom in the basement then.” Stephen suggested.
“Forget it. I won’t sleep down there. Dude, I’m scared of basements, you know that.” being annoyed at Stephen for even bringing this up. Good Lord, this was bound to be a long night.
“Let’s play rock paper scissors to decide.” Mike said after a few seconds of silence. Rob eyed him carefully, not really knowing if he was serious or not. But before you had enough time to tell them how stupid Mike’s idea was, the other four agreed with him.
You were standing in a circle, ready to beat the boys. As long as you did not have to sleep in the basement, you were good to go. Literally every other room would do. Stephen shortly explained the rules. Getting in position, you started with your first round. The first round ended quickly. Everyone won against Rob & when the realization set in, you all started laughing so hard that tears made their way down your cheeks almost instantly. Rob cursed & complained about how everyone had cheated which made this entire thing even funnier. He was pissed. Like, deeply pissed. And even though you felt a little amount of pity for him, the majority of you was just happy that you did not have to reside in that creepy ass bedroom downstairs. Rob grabbed his stuff & made his way downstairs, not longer caring about the rest of the game.
“Go fuck yourself.” was the last thing you heard from him. Again, you all ended up laughing like crazy. This was too good to be true.
Billy lost next, followed by Mike & Jason which left Stephen & you for the final battle. The first round went to Stephen. You won the second one. The last one would settle who would get to sleep in a nice king-size bed. The second place would get a great room, too, so whatever was about to happen…it would be a win-win situation. The others were circling you, cheering for the both of you. Stephen told you to close your eyes, he would do the same, so that the others knew the outcome before you. The damage was done, you went for scissors.
“Guess (Y/N) gets her well needed beauty sleep.” Billy joked & you opened your eyes. Stephen lost with paper. But before you performed a little winning dance, you made sure to playingly slap Billy for his awful joke.
“No need for beauty sleep, the princess is always looking flawless.” swaying your hips when you left for your earned room, carrying your suitcase with you. It was only then when you realized how heavy you had actually packed. In no way would you ask any of the guys to carry your luggage upstairs. Well, there was one person you would actually ask but this certain someone was residing in hell aka his incredible basement bedroom for the time being.
Wanting to experience the softness of the mattress as fast as possible, you quickly went to the bathroom to take a quick shower & to brush your teeth. You wrapped the towel around your body & walked back into your room to search for a suiting t-shirt to sleep in. In the end, you decided on one of Rob’s old shirts you stole from him a while ago. He was never wearing it anyway & it was freaking comfortable, so why not? Pushing it over your head, you did not bother with pants. The shirt was too big on you & you were in this room alone. A yawn escaped you & only a second later, the warmth of the bed was embracing you.
It did not take long before you shot up from your bed, breathing heavily. Shit, another nightmare. Usually, you could handle them just fine. Especially when you were with other people, they pretty much disappeared. You were confused why you had experienced one now. Unfortunately, or fortunately, you could not remember what it was about but since your heart was beating incredibly fast, you assumed it had been a bad one. There was no way you could be alone for the rest of the night. It was not something new to you to share a hotel room or a bed with one of the guys. Sometimes it was just easier, especially at Conventions, to share with another person in order to not take up too many rooms. Mostly, though, you did end up with Rob.
Looking to your door, you were contemplating going to him. But nope, that was not happening. He was sleeping in the basement & while basements themselves creeped you out, the thought of actually having to walk through the entire house by yourself scared you even more. Checking your phone for the time, you were shocked when it read 3:00 am. Shit, if you were not about to tell anyone about your nightmare you might as well not get any more sleep this night. The upcoming gig came into your mind & you knew you had to be well rested to perform perfectly.
It seemed like your hands were moving by themselves & all of a sudden you were calling Rob. Which was stupid, really. He would not hear his phone when he was asleep but you were desperate & still pretty shaken up from your previous nightmare.
“Yeah?” his sleepy voice interrupted your thoughts.
“Robbie?” your voice was small & you did not think it was possible, but your voice cracked by just saying his name. Damn nightmare.
“(Y/N)? You alright?” hearing bedsheets shuffling, you assumed Rob was sitting up. His voice was filled with concern. He knew you would not call for no reason, especially not in the middle of the night & definitely not when you were in the same house.
“Um…I-I had a nightmare & I just…I don’t even know why I’m calling you. I’m sor-“
“What room are you staying in?” right, he did not know because he was too pissed off to stay for the rest of that stupid game.
“The one with the king-size.” you mumbled, not really sure what he was getting at.
“Got it.” the call ended & you were left confused. Would he come to you?
The door squeaked open slightly after a soft knock. Your eyes had adjusted to the dark & you could see Rob’s silhouette in the doorway. He began walking over to you & took a seat on the bed. Immediately, you could feel his arms wrapping around your frame & pulling you close to his body. Being in his presence calmed you down in an instant & for a while, he just held you without saying anything.
“Looks like you won the game.” Rob’s whisper broke the silence in the room. You let out a chuckle & he did the same.
“Yeah, & you’re lucky enough I saved you from that hell hole. I’m sure that bed was uncomfortable as shit.” pulling away, you looked at his face. The darkness did not hide his features & you were happy that he was here with you right now.
“It was, which is why I haven’t slept yet.” he admitted with a laugh.
“You serious?”
“Yep. Doesn’t change the fact that I’m fucking tired…Do you wanna talk about it?” his eyes locked with yours & that was the point when you were sure that you were in love with him. The way he cared for you, genuinely cared, would forever be a mystery to you.
“I can’t remember what I saw but it was…bad.” sighing frustratedly. “I just knew I didn’t wanna be alone & I sure as hell didn’t wanna wander around the house all by myself. That’s why I called you.”
“Do you think you can go back to sleep?” because he would have stayed awake with you if that was what you needed.
“Yeah, now that you’re here…” if it were not for the dark room, Rob would have seen your blush. He simply nodded & pulled you down with him. His arm was draped over your waist & he hugged you close to his chest. A soft kiss was pressed onto your shoulder & this simple action sent goosebumps down your skin.
“Goodnight, (Y/N).” he mumbled into your neck.
“Night.” you whispered & soon enough, the both of you were fast asleep.
A loud voice woke you from your peaceful slumber. Whoever it was was about to get punched.
“Wakey, wakey, sleeping beauty. Billy is making breakf-…Robbie?” of course it was Jason. He knew you could not stay mad at him & this man had never learned how to knock.
“Do I even wanna know? Um, you know what? I don’t…Anyway, breakfast is about to be done. At least I don’t have to go to the basement to wake Rob now.” the last part sounded farther in the distance because Jason was already turning around & walking out of your room. You could feel a chuckle behind you & soon, you found yourself laughing with Rob.
“Good morning, slept well?” turning around in his arms, you stared into perfectly blue eyes. When he saw you, he could not help the smile that was forming on his face.
“How could I not when you were literally next to me?” you blushed at his words. He could be so cute sometimes, it really was disgusting.
Getting up from the bed after a few more minutes of just enjoying being in Rob’s arms, he let out a whistle.
“My shirt looks good on you.” you brushed off the warmth that was spreading on your cheeks with a shake of your head.
“I’d hurry up, Robbie. Billy’s pancakes are to die for. Your fault if you’re too late.” you winked at him & put on some sweatpants before leaving Rob alone in the room. The two of you had spent nights sharing a bed before but there was never cuddling involved. Usually, you would stay on your sides & that was about it. Tonight changed everything. He knew you could tell as well. And that change was for the better. It was bound to happen. Literally everyone but you knew it would happen sooner or later. And here you were, after so long of keeping your feelings pushed down, finally moving into the right direction. All of it happened because a damn game of rock paper scissors...
Published (04/01/2021) by Cathy
Tags: @chelseashurley, @traubellianfirebuilder (thanks for your support <3)
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