#and it's the one where a preacher convinces a vulnerable single mother to let the eldritch sun [REDACTED] so

[jojotier]

god i'm so bad at short stories... i'll get halfway through and get attached to the characters and then a little voice in the back of my head goes "but like. what if this was a full novel instead"

[newstfionline]

Free to Drive, Saudi Women Still Must Take a Back Seat to Men

By Margaret Coker, NY Times, June 22, 2018

AL KHOBAR, Saudi Arabia--With her bubble-gum pink hair and stylishly ripped jeans, Doaa Bassem goes a long way to redefining what it means to be a Saudi woman these days.

At age 14, she learned how to change the oil of her father’s car and dreamed of owning a classic Trans Am. Although she assumed she would be barred from driving the sleek, loud muscle car, she wanted the fun of taking the engine apart and rebuilding it.

By 17, she had entered into an arranged marriage. Within a year, she had given birth to a child, divorced, then remarried and divorced again.

Now, at 29, she is a single mother who works, lives on her own and plans to be among the first women who take to the streets on Sunday, the first day they will be legally permitted to drive in Saudi Arabia, an absolute monarchy that is the last country in the world to bar women from driving. Ms. Bassem won’t be behind the wheel of a sports car, though. She will be riding a Harley.

“I’ve always been a tomboy and a rebel,” she said. “Now, others are thinking more like me. Parents have started to understand that marriage isn’t everything, that girls might want a different life. And society is starting to accept this too.”

The new law allowing women to drive removes a lightning rod for critics and allies who have long derided the Saudis, a bastion of conservative Islamic orthodoxy, for following a repressive practice embraced by groups like the Taliban and the Islamic State. The new law also dovetails with the monarchy’s ambitious economic changes that aim to wean Saudi Arabia, OPEC’s top producer, from dependence on oil and to diversify the economy--shifts that require women to be workers and consumers.

However, while the joy shared by tens of thousands of Saudi women over the right to take the wheel is undeniable, a bright red line keeps them from equality--the restrictive guardianship system. It is a mix of law and custom under which women remain dependents of male relatives--a father, husband, brother, uncle or son--their whole lives.

Guardianship ensures that the gender balance of power at home, work and perhaps even on the roads favors men by allowing them to consent--or not--to letting their women work, travel or receive medical care.

Beneath her free-spirited life, Ms. Bassem is legally tied to the consent powers of her brother, her current guardian, who has respected her choices. He helped find a progressively minded landlord to rent an apartment to her and acts as her guarantor. “People get nervous when ladies live alone,” she said.

The rulers have announced that Saudi women will not need a guardian to apply for driver’s education or receive a driver’s license. But that is one of the rare exceptions where men have no role over women’s lives.

Saudi citizens still need to contend with the top-down system of governing in which they all are vulnerable to royal commands, whims and punishments.

Among those women who will not be celebrating on the streets this Sunday are the pioneers who broke social and legal taboos decades ago with their protests demanding the right to drive. Last month, Saudi officials arrested a group of well-known feminists, among them some veterans of a 1990 protest, in what was seen as a warning to them not to take credit for the end of the driving ban.

Eight leading women’s rights activists remain behind bars, according to Amnesty International. They are facing serious charges, including spying and sedition.

“There is no doubt that there is a deep transformation happening in Saudi now,” said Kristin Smith Diwan, the senior resident scholar at the Arab Gulf States Institute in Washington. “But we are also witnessing a horrible crackdown on some of the people that made these changes possible. What’s not changing is the nature of authority.”

The structure of the guardianship system, which in many ways mimics the ruler’s power over his subjects, means that individual freedom for women is precarious. Last year, a chilling case came to light when a 29-year-old woman, Maryam al-Otaibi, ran away from home, where she claimed male relatives had abused her. She fled to Riyadh, the capital, but her father--her legal guardian--filed a criminal complaint, saying she had been “disobedient” after he commanded her to return home. She was jailed for more than 100 days before she won the right to break free from him.

A Saudi public opinion poll, commissioned in February by Uber, showed that more than 90 percent of respondents felt positively about lifting the driving ban.

That has not diminished the sexism. A popular preacher last year strongly opposed letting women drive, saying their brains were half the size of men’s. Several men said this week that they would stay home on Sunday, convinced that car accidents--already a problem in the country--would surge.

The planned rollout for women drivers, despite months of buildup, has hit several bumps, partly because of insufficient driver’s education programs and the overlapping bureaucracies needed to fulfill the royal decree.

The government has said that women with valid licenses from abroad may obtain a Saudi license with minimal fuss. Several hundred will be ready to drive on Sunday.

Yet for tens of thousands of others, the path to driving has been full of obstacles. Only a limited number of training courses have opened for women--and given the strict gender segregation in effect in schools and government agencies, it is challenging to staff them.

Parents and family members, meanwhile, have worried about what would happen to women if their cars broke down or the police pulled them over. Casual encounters with strange men are discomfiting to many Saudi women. Nor are some willing to risk the physical threats of being stuck alone.

Another problem is the cost of driver’s education for women, which is four to five times as expensive when compared with what men pay.

In Al Khobar, Ms. Bassem, the motorcycle lover, plans to hit the road with friends from the local Harley Davidson club. Of their roughly 700 members in Saudi Arabia’s Eastern Province, a handful of women love Hogs.

In what appears to be an attempt to dissuade unqualified drivers on Sunday, the Ministry of Interior announced that the police would be fining drivers caught without a license 900 riyals, or approximately $240.

The lack of an official license, however, is not discouraging Ms. Bassem. “This is going to be one of the most exciting days of my life,” she said.

[newestbalance]

Free to Drive, Saudi Women Still Must Take a Back Seat to Men

AL KHOBAR, Saudi Arabia — With her bubble-gum pink hair and stylishly ripped jeans, Doaa Bassem goes a long way to redefining what it means to be a Saudi woman these days.

At age 14, she learned how to change the oil of her father’s car and dreamed of owning a classic Trans Am. Although she assumed she would be barred from driving the sleek, loud muscle car, she wanted the fun of taking the engine apart and rebuilding it.

By 17, she had entered into an arranged marriage. Within a year, she had given birth to a child, divorced, then remarried and divorced again.

Now, at 29, she is a single mother who works, lives on her own and plans to be among the first women who take to the streets on Sunday, the first day they will be legally permitted to drive in Saudi Arabia, an absolute monarchy that is the last country in the world to bar women from driving. Ms. Bassem won’t be behind the wheel of a sports car, though. She will be riding a Harley.

“I’ve always been a tomboy and a rebel,” she said. “Now, others are thinking more like me. Parents have started to understand that marriage isn’t everything, that girls might want a different life. And society is starting to accept this too.”

According to the Saudi ruler, King Salman bin Abdulaziz, his son, Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, and their many supporters, the monarchy is verging on a great feminist leap forward. The change reflects the tectonic shifts in a society that have helped women reach the pinnacles of academic and professional success, combined with the effects of globalization, which have brought more openness to the kingdom than at anytime in its recent history.

The new law allowing women to drive removes a lightning rod for critics and allies who have long derided the Saudis, a bastion of conservative Islamic orthodoxy, for following a repressive practice embraced by groups like the Taliban and the Islamic State. The new law also dovetails with the monarchy’s ambitious economic changes that aim to wean Saudi Arabia, OPEC’s top producer, from dependence on oil and to diversify the economy — shifts that require women to be workers and consumers.

However, while the joy shared by tens of thousands of Saudi women over the right to take the wheel is undeniable, a bright red line keeps them from equality — the restrictive guardianship system. It is a mix of law and custom under which women remain dependents of male relatives — a father, husband, brother, uncle or son — their whole lives.

Guardianship ensures that the gender balance of power at home, work and perhaps even on the roads favors men by allowing them to consent — or not — to letting their women work, travel or receive medical care.

Beneath her free-spirited life, Ms. Bassem is legally tied to the consent powers of her brother, her current guardian, who has respected her choices. He helped find a progressively minded landlord to rent an apartment to her and acts as her guarantor. “People get nervous when ladies live alone,” she said.

The rulers have announced that Saudi women will not need a guardian to apply for driver’s education or receive a driver’s license. But that is one of the rare exceptions where men have no role over women’s lives.

Saudi citizens still need to contend with the top-down system of governing in which they all are vulnerable to royal commands, whims and punishments.

Eight leading women’s rights activists remain behind bars, according to Amnesty International. They are facing serious charges, including spying and sedition.

“There is no doubt that there is a deep transformation happening in Saudi now,” said Kristin Smith Diwan, the senior resident scholar at the Arab Gulf States Institute in Washington. “But we are also witnessing a horrible crackdown on some of the people that made these changes possible. What’s not changing is the nature of authority.”

The crown prince has sent mixed messages about the guardianship system. In interviews with American media, he has declared Saudi men and women absolutely equal. Last year, a royal decree commanded government agencies to allow women access to many services without their guardians — and to list those services to thwart bureaucratic abuses. The lists, however, have not yet been made public.

The structure of the guardianship system, which in many ways mimics the ruler’s power over his subjects, means that individual freedom for women is precarious. Last year, a chilling case came to light when a 29-year-old woman, Maryam al-Otaibi, ran away from home, where she claimed male relatives had abused her. She fled to Riyadh, the capital, but her father — her legal guardian — filed a criminal complaint, saying she had been “disobedient” after he commanded her to return home. She was jailed for more than 100 days before she won the right to break free from him.

Many women in the fields of social work, women’s empowerment and family law prefer to focus on the gains women have achieved, not the limitations that remain.

Since the crown prince took power last year, judges who once would have automatically given fathers custody of children in divorce cases have started allowing some mothers custody instead. Women no longer need a guardian to register a business. More private companies are hiring women for technical and manual labor jobs, helping pull poor families or single mothers up the socio-economic ladder.

Salma al-Rashid, the chief programs officer at Al Nahda Philanthropic Organization for Women in Riyadh, which for more than 50 years has been working with disadvantaged women and families, pointed to recent legal changes that have improved financial and emotional security for a majority of Saudi women, whose lives bear no resemblance to the stereotypical wealthy Saudi resident.

A catalyst of social change, Ms. Rashid said, is the growing number of Saudi women who are graduating from college, traveling abroad on scholarships and entering the work force.

“Saudi Arabia is not black and white,” she said. “We are incredibly diverse. The biggest engine that has driven these changes is economical. History shows this is the case everywhere in the world.”

In the eastern province city of Al Khobar, Seham al-Amri, 39, is one of a significant number of Saudi women who have capitalized on the changes to make a better life.

From the time she was young, she was the clever one in her family. She attended a public university and studied Arabic literature, married at 19, raised five children and taught at a girls’ school.

Three years ago, however, when the kingdom was pushing businesses to hire more Saudi citizens, she sought work in the private sector, where pay was much higher and opportunities for women were growing. A leading telecom company offered her a sales position, but Ms. Amri’s husband — her guardian — refused to consent.

Ms. Amri went behind his back. She took her brother to the company to act as her guardian, and she got the job. Her stellar sales record made her a standout candidate this spring when car companies were seeking Saudi women to help sell vehicles to the rush of new drivers they were expecting.

Her husband still disliked the idea, she said, but her new company, the Saudi owner of the Range Rover franchise, did not ask her for a guardian’s approval.

She sold seven cars in her first three weeks. Her husband, she said, likes the larger paycheck she brings home. He also has grudgingly accepted her work because relatives and neighbors have not gossiped about it. “He didn’t want any shame on the family,” she said. “As for my family, they are all as proud as can be.”

A Saudi public opinion poll, commissioned in February by Uber, showed that more than 90 percent of respondents felt positively about lifting the driving ban.

That has not diminished the sexism. A popular preacher last year strongly opposed letting women drive, saying their brains were half the size of men’s. Several men said this week that they would stay home on Sunday, convinced that car accidents — already a problem in the country — would surge.

The planned rollout for women drivers, despite months of buildup, has hit several bumps, partly because of insufficient driver’s education programs and the overlapping bureaucracies needed to fulfill the royal decree.

The government has said that women with valid licenses from abroad may obtain a Saudi license with minimal fuss. Several hundred will be ready to drive on Sunday.

Yet for tens of thousands of others, the path to driving has been full of obstacles. Only a limited number of training courses have opened for women — and given the strict gender segregation in effect in schools and government agencies, it is challenging to staff them.

Earlier this year, pilot driver’s education programs were scrambling to find qualified women to instruct their Saudi sisters. That is how Sheikha al-Kadeeb, 29, who had been looking for work in finance, was recruited to teach driving.

Ms. Kadeeb learned in Los Angeles, where she earned an M.B.A. She loved cruising California freeways in her Jeep Wrangler and jumped at the opportunity to impart her enthusiasm at home. “I feel like I’m on a mission,” she said. “I get a chance to help my country.”

Parents and family members, meanwhile, have worried about what would happen to women if their cars broke down or the police pulled them over. Casual encounters with strange men are discomfiting to many Saudi women. Nor are some willing to risk the physical threats of being stuck alone.

Another problem is the cost of driver’s education for women, which is four to five times as expensive when compared with what men pay.

Mohammed al-Ghanami, a diving instructor for the Saudi Marines, has been giving his wife lessons in remote areas where the police or other motorists will not disturb them. He moonlights as an Uber driver and wants his wife to be able to drive their child to the doctor or anywhere else in an emergency, given his extended absences.

“She can do it,” he said. “She’s a careful person and a good driver.”

Groups of girlfriends, meanwhile, are making celebratory plans for their first drive. Rezan Ben Hassan, 29, learned when she was 16 on desert camping trips with her family. She intends to take the keys to the family vehicle on Sunday and cruise to a cafe.

In Al Khobar, Ms. Bassem, the motorcycle lover, plans to hit the road with friends from the local Harley Davidson club. Of their roughly 700 members in Saudi Arabia’s Eastern Province, a handful of women love Hogs.

In what appears to be an attempt to dissuade unqualified drivers on Sunday, the Ministry of Interior announced that the police would be fining drivers caught without a license 900 riyals, or approximately $240.

The lack of an official license, however, is not discouraging Ms. Bassem. “This is going to be one of the most exciting days of my life,” she said.

The post Free to Drive, Saudi Women Still Must Take a Back Seat to Men appeared first on World The News.

from World The News https://ift.tt/2tvysav via Everyday News

[cleopatrarps]

Free to Drive, Saudi Women Still Must Take a Back Seat to Men

AL KHOBAR, Saudi Arabia — With her bubble-gum pink hair and stylishly ripped jeans, Doaa Bassem goes a long way to redefining what it means to be a Saudi woman these days.

At age 14, she learned how to change the oil of her father’s car and dreamed of owning a classic Trans Am. Although she assumed she would be barred from driving the sleek, loud muscle car, she wanted the fun of taking the engine apart and rebuilding it.

By 17, she had entered into an arranged marriage. Within a year, she had given birth to a child, divorced, then remarried and divorced again.

Now, at 29, she is a single mother who works, lives on her own and plans to be among the first women who take to the streets on Sunday, the first day they will be legally permitted to drive in Saudi Arabia, an absolute monarchy that is the last country in the world to bar women from driving. Ms. Bassem won’t be behind the wheel of a sports car, though. She will be riding a Harley.

“I’ve always been a tomboy and a rebel,” she said. “Now, others are thinking more like me. Parents have started to understand that marriage isn’t everything, that girls might want a different life. And society is starting to accept this too.”

According to the Saudi ruler, King Salman bin Abdulaziz, his son, Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, and their many supporters, the monarchy is verging on a great feminist leap forward. The change reflects the tectonic shifts in a society that have helped women reach the pinnacles of academic and professional success, combined with the effects of globalization, which have brought more openness to the kingdom than at anytime in its recent history.

The new law allowing women to drive removes a lightning rod for critics and allies who have long derided the Saudis, a bastion of conservative Islamic orthodoxy, for following a repressive practice embraced by groups like the Taliban and the Islamic State. The new law also dovetails with the monarchy’s ambitious economic changes that aim to wean Saudi Arabia, OPEC’s top producer, from dependence on oil and to diversify the economy — shifts that require women to be workers and consumers.

However, while the joy shared by tens of thousands of Saudi women over the right to take the wheel is undeniable, a bright red line keeps them from equality — the restrictive guardianship system. It is a mix of law and custom under which women remain dependents of male relatives — a father, husband, brother, uncle or son — their whole lives.

Guardianship ensures that the gender balance of power at home, work and perhaps even on the roads favors men by allowing them to consent — or not — to letting their women work, travel or receive medical care.

Beneath her free-spirited life, Ms. Bassem is legally tied to the consent powers of her brother, her current guardian, who has respected her choices. He helped find a progressively minded landlord to rent an apartment to her and acts as her guarantor. “People get nervous when ladies live alone,” she said.

The rulers have announced that Saudi women will not need a guardian to apply for driver’s education or receive a driver’s license. But that is one of the rare exceptions where men have no role over women’s lives.

Saudi citizens still need to contend with the top-down system of governing in which they all are vulnerable to royal commands, whims and punishments.

Eight leading women’s rights activists remain behind bars, according to Amnesty International. They are facing serious charges, including spying and sedition.

“There is no doubt that there is a deep transformation happening in Saudi now,” said Kristin Smith Diwan, the senior resident scholar at the Arab Gulf States Institute in Washington. “But we are also witnessing a horrible crackdown on some of the people that made these changes possible. What’s not changing is the nature of authority.”

The crown prince has sent mixed messages about the guardianship system. In interviews with American media, he has declared Saudi men and women absolutely equal. Last year, a royal decree commanded government agencies to allow women access to many services without their guardians — and to list those services to thwart bureaucratic abuses. The lists, however, have not yet been made public.

The structure of the guardianship system, which in many ways mimics the ruler’s power over his subjects, means that individual freedom for women is precarious. Last year, a chilling case came to light when a 29-year-old woman, Maryam al-Otaibi, ran away from home, where she claimed male relatives had abused her. She fled to Riyadh, the capital, but her father — her legal guardian — filed a criminal complaint, saying she had been “disobedient” after he commanded her to return home. She was jailed for more than 100 days before she won the right to break free from him.

Many women in the fields of social work, women’s empowerment and family law prefer to focus on the gains women have achieved, not the limitations that remain.

Since the crown prince took power last year, judges who once would have automatically given fathers custody of children in divorce cases have started allowing some mothers custody instead. Women no longer need a guardian to register a business. More private companies are hiring women for technical and manual labor jobs, helping pull poor families or single mothers up the socio-economic ladder.

Salma al-Rashid, the chief programs officer at Al Nahda Philanthropic Organization for Women in Riyadh, which for more than 50 years has been working with disadvantaged women and families, pointed to recent legal changes that have improved financial and emotional security for a majority of Saudi women, whose lives bear no resemblance to the stereotypical wealthy Saudi resident.

A catalyst of social change, Ms. Rashid said, is the growing number of Saudi women who are graduating from college, traveling abroad on scholarships and entering the work force.

“Saudi Arabia is not black and white,” she said. “We are incredibly diverse. The biggest engine that has driven these changes is economical. History shows this is the case everywhere in the world.”

In the eastern province city of Al Khobar, Seham al-Amri, 39, is one of a significant number of Saudi women who have capitalized on the changes to make a better life.

From the time she was young, she was the clever one in her family. She attended a public university and studied Arabic literature, married at 19, raised five children and taught at a girls’ school.

Three years ago, however, when the kingdom was pushing businesses to hire more Saudi citizens, she sought work in the private sector, where pay was much higher and opportunities for women were growing. A leading telecom company offered her a sales position, but Ms. Amri’s husband — her guardian — refused to consent.

Ms. Amri went behind his back. She took her brother to the company to act as her guardian, and she got the job. Her stellar sales record made her a standout candidate this spring when car companies were seeking Saudi women to help sell vehicles to the rush of new drivers they were expecting.

Her husband still disliked the idea, she said, but her new company, the Saudi owner of the Range Rover franchise, did not ask her for a guardian’s approval.

She sold seven cars in her first three weeks. Her husband, she said, likes the larger paycheck she brings home. He also has grudgingly accepted her work because relatives and neighbors have not gossiped about it. “He didn’t want any shame on the family,” she said. “As for my family, they are all as proud as can be.”

A Saudi public opinion poll, commissioned in February by Uber, showed that more than 90 percent of respondents felt positively about lifting the driving ban.

That has not diminished the sexism. A popular preacher last year strongly opposed letting women drive, saying their brains were half the size of men’s. Several men said this week that they would stay home on Sunday, convinced that car accidents — already a problem in the country — would surge.

The planned rollout for women drivers, despite months of buildup, has hit several bumps, partly because of insufficient driver’s education programs and the overlapping bureaucracies needed to fulfill the royal decree.

The government has said that women with valid licenses from abroad may obtain a Saudi license with minimal fuss. Several hundred will be ready to drive on Sunday.

Yet for tens of thousands of others, the path to driving has been full of obstacles. Only a limited number of training courses have opened for women — and given the strict gender segregation in effect in schools and government agencies, it is challenging to staff them.

Earlier this year, pilot driver’s education programs were scrambling to find qualified women to instruct their Saudi sisters. That is how Sheikha al-Kadeeb, 29, who had been looking for work in finance, was recruited to teach driving.

Ms. Kadeeb learned in Los Angeles, where she earned an M.B.A. She loved cruising California freeways in her Jeep Wrangler and jumped at the opportunity to impart her enthusiasm at home. “I feel like I’m on a mission,” she said. “I get a chance to help my country.”

Parents and family members, meanwhile, have worried about what would happen to women if their cars broke down or the police pulled them over. Casual encounters with strange men are discomfiting to many Saudi women. Nor are some willing to risk the physical threats of being stuck alone.

Another problem is the cost of driver’s education for women, which is four to five times as expensive when compared with what men pay.

Mohammed al-Ghanami, a diving instructor for the Saudi Marines, has been giving his wife lessons in remote areas where the police or other motorists will not disturb them. He moonlights as an Uber driver and wants his wife to be able to drive their child to the doctor or anywhere else in an emergency, given his extended absences.

“She can do it,” he said. “She’s a careful person and a good driver.”

Groups of girlfriends, meanwhile, are making celebratory plans for their first drive. Rezan Ben Hassan, 29, learned when she was 16 on desert camping trips with her family. She intends to take the keys to the family vehicle on Sunday and cruise to a cafe.

In Al Khobar, Ms. Bassem, the motorcycle lover, plans to hit the road with friends from the local Harley Davidson club. Of their roughly 700 members in Saudi Arabia’s Eastern Province, a handful of women love Hogs.

In what appears to be an attempt to dissuade unqualified drivers on Sunday, the Ministry of Interior announced that the police would be fining drivers caught without a license 900 riyals, or approximately $240.

The lack of an official license, however, is not discouraging Ms. Bassem. “This is going to be one of the most exciting days of my life,” she said.

The post Free to Drive, Saudi Women Still Must Take a Back Seat to Men appeared first on World The News.

from World The News https://ift.tt/2tvysav via News of World

[dragnews]

Free to Drive, Saudi Women Still Must Take a Back Seat to Men

AL KHOBAR, Saudi Arabia — With her bubble-gum pink hair and stylishly ripped jeans, Doaa Bassem goes a long way to redefining what it means to be a Saudi woman these days.

At age 14, she learned how to change the oil of her father’s car and dreamed of owning a classic Trans Am. Although she assumed she would be barred from driving the sleek, loud muscle car, she wanted the fun of taking the engine apart and rebuilding it.

By 17, she had entered into an arranged marriage. Within a year, she had given birth to a child, divorced, then remarried and divorced again.

Now, at 29, she is a single mother who works, lives on her own and plans to be among the first women who take to the streets on Sunday, the first day they will be legally permitted to drive in Saudi Arabia, an absolute monarchy that is the last country in the world to bar women from driving. Ms. Bassem won’t be behind the wheel of a sports car, though. She will be riding a Harley.

“I’ve always been a tomboy and a rebel,” she said. “Now, others are thinking more like me. Parents have started to understand that marriage isn’t everything, that girls might want a different life. And society is starting to accept this too.”

According to the Saudi ruler, King Salman bin Abdulaziz, his son, Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, and their many supporters, the monarchy is verging on a great feminist leap forward. The change reflects the tectonic shifts in a society that have helped women reach the pinnacles of academic and professional success, combined with the effects of globalization, which have brought more openness to the kingdom than at anytime in its recent history.

The new law allowing women to drive removes a lightning rod for critics and allies who have long derided the Saudis, a bastion of conservative Islamic orthodoxy, for following a repressive practice embraced by groups like the Taliban and the Islamic State. The new law also dovetails with the monarchy’s ambitious economic changes that aim to wean Saudi Arabia, OPEC’s top producer, from dependence on oil and to diversify the economy — shifts that require women to be workers and consumers.

However, while the joy shared by tens of thousands of Saudi women over the right to take the wheel is undeniable, a bright red line keeps them from equality — the restrictive guardianship system. It is a mix of law and custom under which women remain dependents of male relatives — a father, husband, brother, uncle or son — their whole lives.

Guardianship ensures that the gender balance of power at home, work and perhaps even on the roads favors men by allowing them to consent — or not — to letting their women work, travel or receive medical care.

Beneath her free-spirited life, Ms. Bassem is legally tied to the consent powers of her brother, her current guardian, who has respected her choices. He helped find a progressively minded landlord to rent an apartment to her and acts as her guarantor. “People get nervous when ladies live alone,” she said.

The rulers have announced that Saudi women will not need a guardian to apply for driver’s education or receive a driver’s license. But that is one of the rare exceptions where men have no role over women’s lives.

Saudi citizens still need to contend with the top-down system of governing in which they all are vulnerable to royal commands, whims and punishments.

Eight leading women’s rights activists remain behind bars, according to Amnesty International. They are facing serious charges, including spying and sedition.

“There is no doubt that there is a deep transformation happening in Saudi now,” said Kristin Smith Diwan, the senior resident scholar at the Arab Gulf States Institute in Washington. “But we are also witnessing a horrible crackdown on some of the people that made these changes possible. What’s not changing is the nature of authority.”

The crown prince has sent mixed messages about the guardianship system. In interviews with American media, he has declared Saudi men and women absolutely equal. Last year, a royal decree commanded government agencies to allow women access to many services without their guardians — and to list those services to thwart bureaucratic abuses. The lists, however, have not yet been made public.

The structure of the guardianship system, which in many ways mimics the ruler’s power over his subjects, means that individual freedom for women is precarious. Last year, a chilling case came to light when a 29-year-old woman, Maryam al-Otaibi, ran away from home, where she claimed male relatives had abused her. She fled to Riyadh, the capital, but her father — her legal guardian — filed a criminal complaint, saying she had been “disobedient” after he commanded her to return home. She was jailed for more than 100 days before she won the right to break free from him.

Many women in the fields of social work, women’s empowerment and family law prefer to focus on the gains women have achieved, not the limitations that remain.

Since the crown prince took power last year, judges who once would have automatically given fathers custody of children in divorce cases have started allowing some mothers custody instead. Women no longer need a guardian to register a business. More private companies are hiring women for technical and manual labor jobs, helping pull poor families or single mothers up the socio-economic ladder.

Salma al-Rashid, the chief programs officer at Al Nahda Philanthropic Organization for Women in Riyadh, which for more than 50 years has been working with disadvantaged women and families, pointed to recent legal changes that have improved financial and emotional security for a majority of Saudi women, whose lives bear no resemblance to the stereotypical wealthy Saudi resident.

A catalyst of social change, Ms. Rashid said, is the growing number of Saudi women who are graduating from college, traveling abroad on scholarships and entering the work force.

“Saudi Arabia is not black and white,” she said. “We are incredibly diverse. The biggest engine that has driven these changes is economical. History shows this is the case everywhere in the world.”

In the eastern province city of Al Khobar, Seham al-Amri, 39, is one of a significant number of Saudi women who have capitalized on the changes to make a better life.

From the time she was young, she was the clever one in her family. She attended a public university and studied Arabic literature, married at 19, raised five children and taught at a girls’ school.

Three years ago, however, when the kingdom was pushing businesses to hire more Saudi citizens, she sought work in the private sector, where pay was much higher and opportunities for women were growing. A leading telecom company offered her a sales position, but Ms. Amri’s husband — her guardian — refused to consent.

Ms. Amri went behind his back. She took her brother to the company to act as her guardian, and she got the job. Her stellar sales record made her a standout candidate this spring when car companies were seeking Saudi women to help sell vehicles to the rush of new drivers they were expecting.

Her husband still disliked the idea, she said, but her new company, the Saudi owner of the Range Rover franchise, did not ask her for a guardian’s approval.

She sold seven cars in her first three weeks. Her husband, she said, likes the larger paycheck she brings home. He also has grudgingly accepted her work because relatives and neighbors have not gossiped about it. “He didn’t want any shame on the family,” she said. “As for my family, they are all as proud as can be.”

A Saudi public opinion poll, commissioned in February by Uber, showed that more than 90 percent of respondents felt positively about lifting the driving ban.

That has not diminished the sexism. A popular preacher last year strongly opposed letting women drive, saying their brains were half the size of men’s. Several men said this week that they would stay home on Sunday, convinced that car accidents — already a problem in the country — would surge.

The planned rollout for women drivers, despite months of buildup, has hit several bumps, partly because of insufficient driver’s education programs and the overlapping bureaucracies needed to fulfill the royal decree.

The government has said that women with valid licenses from abroad may obtain a Saudi license with minimal fuss. Several hundred will be ready to drive on Sunday.

Yet for tens of thousands of others, the path to driving has been full of obstacles. Only a limited number of training courses have opened for women — and given the strict gender segregation in effect in schools and government agencies, it is challenging to staff them.

Earlier this year, pilot driver’s education programs were scrambling to find qualified women to instruct their Saudi sisters. That is how Sheikha al-Kadeeb, 29, who had been looking for work in finance, was recruited to teach driving.

Ms. Kadeeb learned in Los Angeles, where she earned an M.B.A. She loved cruising California freeways in her Jeep Wrangler and jumped at the opportunity to impart her enthusiasm at home. “I feel like I’m on a mission,” she said. “I get a chance to help my country.”

Parents and family members, meanwhile, have worried about what would happen to women if their cars broke down or the police pulled them over. Casual encounters with strange men are discomfiting to many Saudi women. Nor are some willing to risk the physical threats of being stuck alone.

Another problem is the cost of driver’s education for women, which is four to five times as expensive when compared with what men pay.

Mohammed al-Ghanami, a diving instructor for the Saudi Marines, has been giving his wife lessons in remote areas where the police or other motorists will not disturb them. He moonlights as an Uber driver and wants his wife to be able to drive their child to the doctor or anywhere else in an emergency, given his extended absences.

“She can do it,” he said. “She’s a careful person and a good driver.”

Groups of girlfriends, meanwhile, are making celebratory plans for their first drive. Rezan Ben Hassan, 29, learned when she was 16 on desert camping trips with her family. She intends to take the keys to the family vehicle on Sunday and cruise to a cafe.

In Al Khobar, Ms. Bassem, the motorcycle lover, plans to hit the road with friends from the local Harley Davidson club. Of their roughly 700 members in Saudi Arabia’s Eastern Province, a handful of women love Hogs.

In what appears to be an attempt to dissuade unqualified drivers on Sunday, the Ministry of Interior announced that the police would be fining drivers caught without a license 900 riyals, or approximately $240.

The lack of an official license, however, is not discouraging Ms. Bassem. “This is going to be one of the most exciting days of my life,” she said.

The post Free to Drive, Saudi Women Still Must Take a Back Seat to Men appeared first on World The News.

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[dani-qrt]

Free to Drive, Saudi Women Still Must Take a Back Seat to Men

AL KHOBAR, Saudi Arabia — With her bubble-gum pink hair and stylishly ripped jeans, Doaa Bassem goes a long way to redefining what it means to be a Saudi woman these days.

At age 14, she learned how to change the oil of her father’s car and dreamed of owning a classic Trans Am. Although she assumed she would be barred from driving the sleek, loud muscle car, she wanted the fun of taking the engine apart and rebuilding it.

By 17, she had entered into an arranged marriage. Within a year, she had given birth to a child, divorced, then remarried and divorced again.

Now, at 29, she is a single mother who works, lives on her own and plans to be among the first women who take to the streets on Sunday, the first day they will be legally permitted to drive in Saudi Arabia, an absolute monarchy that is the last country in the world to bar women from driving. Ms. Bassem won’t be behind the wheel of a sports car, though. She will be riding a Harley.

“I’ve always been a tomboy and a rebel,” she said. “Now, others are thinking more like me. Parents have started to understand that marriage isn’t everything, that girls might want a different life. And society is starting to accept this too.”

According to the Saudi ruler, King Salman bin Abdulaziz, his son, Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, and their many supporters, the monarchy is verging on a great feminist leap forward. The change reflects the tectonic shifts in a society that have helped women reach the pinnacles of academic and professional success, combined with the effects of globalization, which have brought more openness to the kingdom than at anytime in its recent history.

The new law allowing women to drive removes a lightning rod for critics and allies who have long derided the Saudis, a bastion of conservative Islamic orthodoxy, for following a repressive practice embraced by groups like the Taliban and the Islamic State. The new law also dovetails with the monarchy’s ambitious economic changes that aim to wean Saudi Arabia, OPEC’s top producer, from dependence on oil and to diversify the economy — shifts that require women to be workers and consumers.

However, while the joy shared by tens of thousands of Saudi women over the right to take the wheel is undeniable, a bright red line keeps them from equality — the restrictive guardianship system. It is a mix of law and custom under which women remain dependents of male relatives — a father, husband, brother, uncle or son — their whole lives.

Guardianship ensures that the gender balance of power at home, work and perhaps even on the roads favors men by allowing them to consent — or not — to letting their women work, travel or receive medical care.

Beneath her free-spirited life, Ms. Bassem is legally tied to the consent powers of her brother, her current guardian, who has respected her choices. He helped find a progressively minded landlord to rent an apartment to her and acts as her guarantor. “People get nervous when ladies live alone,” she said.

The rulers have announced that Saudi women will not need a guardian to apply for driver’s education or receive a driver’s license. But that is one of the rare exceptions where men have no role over women’s lives.

Saudi citizens still need to contend with the top-down system of governing in which they all are vulnerable to royal commands, whims and punishments.

Eight leading women’s rights activists remain behind bars, according to Amnesty International. They are facing serious charges, including spying and sedition.

“There is no doubt that there is a deep transformation happening in Saudi now,” said Kristin Smith Diwan, the senior resident scholar at the Arab Gulf States Institute in Washington. “But we are also witnessing a horrible crackdown on some of the people that made these changes possible. What’s not changing is the nature of authority.”

The crown prince has sent mixed messages about the guardianship system. In interviews with American media, he has declared Saudi men and women absolutely equal. Last year, a royal decree commanded government agencies to allow women access to many services without their guardians — and to list those services to thwart bureaucratic abuses. The lists, however, have not yet been made public.

The structure of the guardianship system, which in many ways mimics the ruler’s power over his subjects, means that individual freedom for women is precarious. Last year, a chilling case came to light when a 29-year-old woman, Maryam al-Otaibi, ran away from home, where she claimed male relatives had abused her. She fled to Riyadh, the capital, but her father — her legal guardian — filed a criminal complaint, saying she had been “disobedient” after he commanded her to return home. She was jailed for more than 100 days before she won the right to break free from him.

Many women in the fields of social work, women’s empowerment and family law prefer to focus on the gains women have achieved, not the limitations that remain.

Since the crown prince took power last year, judges who once would have automatically given fathers custody of children in divorce cases have started allowing some mothers custody instead. Women no longer need a guardian to register a business. More private companies are hiring women for technical and manual labor jobs, helping pull poor families or single mothers up the socio-economic ladder.

Salma al-Rashid, the chief programs officer at Al Nahda Philanthropic Organization for Women in Riyadh, which for more than 50 years has been working with disadvantaged women and families, pointed to recent legal changes that have improved financial and emotional security for a majority of Saudi women, whose lives bear no resemblance to the stereotypical wealthy Saudi resident.

A catalyst of social change, Ms. Rashid said, is the growing number of Saudi women who are graduating from college, traveling abroad on scholarships and entering the work force.

“Saudi Arabia is not black and white,” she said. “We are incredibly diverse. The biggest engine that has driven these changes is economical. History shows this is the case everywhere in the world.”

In the eastern province city of Al Khobar, Seham al-Amri, 39, is one of a significant number of Saudi women who have capitalized on the changes to make a better life.

From the time she was young, she was the clever one in her family. She attended a public university and studied Arabic literature, married at 19, raised five children and taught at a girls’ school.

Three years ago, however, when the kingdom was pushing businesses to hire more Saudi citizens, she sought work in the private sector, where pay was much higher and opportunities for women were growing. A leading telecom company offered her a sales position, but Ms. Amri’s husband — her guardian — refused to consent.

Ms. Amri went behind his back. She took her brother to the company to act as her guardian, and she got the job. Her stellar sales record made her a standout candidate this spring when car companies were seeking Saudi women to help sell vehicles to the rush of new drivers they were expecting.

Her husband still disliked the idea, she said, but her new company, the Saudi owner of the Range Rover franchise, did not ask her for a guardian’s approval.

She sold seven cars in her first three weeks. Her husband, she said, likes the larger paycheck she brings home. He also has grudgingly accepted her work because relatives and neighbors have not gossiped about it. “He didn’t want any shame on the family,” she said. “As for my family, they are all as proud as can be.”

A Saudi public opinion poll, commissioned in February by Uber, showed that more than 90 percent of respondents felt positively about lifting the driving ban.

That has not diminished the sexism. A popular preacher last year strongly opposed letting women drive, saying their brains were half the size of men’s. Several men said this week that they would stay home on Sunday, convinced that car accidents — already a problem in the country — would surge.

The planned rollout for women drivers, despite months of buildup, has hit several bumps, partly because of insufficient driver’s education programs and the overlapping bureaucracies needed to fulfill the royal decree.

The government has said that women with valid licenses from abroad may obtain a Saudi license with minimal fuss. Several hundred will be ready to drive on Sunday.

Yet for tens of thousands of others, the path to driving has been full of obstacles. Only a limited number of training courses have opened for women — and given the strict gender segregation in effect in schools and government agencies, it is challenging to staff them.

Earlier this year, pilot driver’s education programs were scrambling to find qualified women to instruct their Saudi sisters. That is how Sheikha al-Kadeeb, 29, who had been looking for work in finance, was recruited to teach driving.

Ms. Kadeeb learned in Los Angeles, where she earned an M.B.A. She loved cruising California freeways in her Jeep Wrangler and jumped at the opportunity to impart her enthusiasm at home. “I feel like I’m on a mission,” she said. “I get a chance to help my country.”

Parents and family members, meanwhile, have worried about what would happen to women if their cars broke down or the police pulled them over. Casual encounters with strange men are discomfiting to many Saudi women. Nor are some willing to risk the physical threats of being stuck alone.

Another problem is the cost of driver’s education for women, which is four to five times as expensive when compared with what men pay.

Mohammed al-Ghanami, a diving instructor for the Saudi Marines, has been giving his wife lessons in remote areas where the police or other motorists will not disturb them. He moonlights as an Uber driver and wants his wife to be able to drive their child to the doctor or anywhere else in an emergency, given his extended absences.

“She can do it,” he said. “She’s a careful person and a good driver.”

Groups of girlfriends, meanwhile, are making celebratory plans for their first drive. Rezan Ben Hassan, 29, learned when she was 16 on desert camping trips with her family. She intends to take the keys to the family vehicle on Sunday and cruise to a cafe.

In Al Khobar, Ms. Bassem, the motorcycle lover, plans to hit the road with friends from the local Harley Davidson club. Of their roughly 700 members in Saudi Arabia’s Eastern Province, a handful of women love Hogs.

In what appears to be an attempt to dissuade unqualified drivers on Sunday, the Ministry of Interior announced that the police would be fining drivers caught without a license 900 riyals, or approximately $240.

The lack of an official license, however, is not discouraging Ms. Bassem. “This is going to be one of the most exciting days of my life,” she said.

The post Free to Drive, Saudi Women Still Must Take a Back Seat to Men appeared first on World The News.

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[christinafrisby-blog]

DIARY OF A PREACHER’S KID AND A TEENAGE MOTHER. CHAPTER 9

Codependent relationships are a type of dysfunctional helping relationship where one person supports or enables another person’s addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement.

I did not realize how vulnerable I was after my break up with Antonio. I leaned on Kelvin so he could help me forget about my Ex and he leaned on me for attention, fun, support, or maybe I was just an easy target at that time. I have no clue. During this time I was just turning 29 years old. I spoke with Kelvin everyday and night, I felt so happy that I had someone who did not mind listening to me. I had so much to say because I really didn’t have anyone to talk to. I am a private person, so usually I never tell people my business. I never been the type that cared about what others thought of me, because people will think good or bad of you despite how hard you try to convince them differently. At the time I thought that Kelvin was COMPLETELY opposite from the type of guys that I would be attracted to and that was what I wanted. I am use to being around guys who were aggressive, darker skin, great careers, romantic and those take charge type of men. Kelvin was different.  I felt that the type of men that I am use to did not appreciate me, they all were the same men, just different faces. At the time I’ve never dated guys with kids, not on purpose, but it just happened that way. Kelvin had multiple kids and more than one baby momma’s. He was light skin, was not aggressive at all, I felt like I was the aggressor. He did not communicate well, but he would listen. He was not romantic nor spontaneous. He rarely had money, so I had to come out of pocket a lot. I did not mind because I cared for him. He lived in the deep, deep, DEEEEEEP country, the type of country where he would go deer hunting, clean it, cut it up and serve it for dinner. I was not use to that at all!!! I’m from the north, I had to really humble myself A LOT in order to make it work. He was different from what I was use to, but I was tired of “my type of men” they were never good for me.

I knew that Kelvin would be a rebound from my Ex if I got with him, but he helped me get my mind off of the pain. The next day after texting all day I decided to call him. I never heard his voice even though I’ve seen him around every time he was in town. When he answered his phone he sounded so country, I did not expect that, but I thought it was cute and funny. He was working during the day so he always put his Bluetooth in his ear so he could speak to me while he worked. We talked all day and night every single day. I was still getting the divorce done, I did not want to spend time with Kelvin until the Divorce was final with Antonio. I went back to the Court with the rest of the documents needed to complete it. My eyes was puffy from crying because it was hurting to know that I married Antonio so I could spend my life with him, but it wasn’t real. On December 19, 2009 the Divorce/Annulment was final. The weirdest thing was, my divorce date was final on the exact same date of his last divorce and that did not last a year because he treated her the same way he treated me. A week later after my divorce Kelvin came in town. We were so happy to finally see each other again and I was single too. We hung out all day and night. I did not want him to leave back to his hotel because I enjoyed talking to him, but he said that we would see eachother the next day. We were spending time all weekend, but when Sunday came and he had to go back home in another state. I was sad because I didn’t want to think about the divorce and I really liked him.

About three months has past and the relationship was great! I’ve forgotten all about Antonio and everyone knew about Kelvin. His family was having lunch at a restaurant and Kelvin asked me if I would like to come. I said “yes” with excitement! I kind of knew his family through ministry but never really spoken to them. I walked into the restaurant with Kelvin, his father at first had a puzzled look on his face, but he embraced me. His God father looked at me and then whispered to Kelvin “why did you bring this woman here?” I was not sure why his God father asked that, but I ignored it. His mother was excited to see me and even asked me to sit next to her. She was hugging me and said that she was so happy that I was there with them. At the time I did not understand why his God father was shaking his head at the family, I thought maybe he did not like me, but I found out why later. Kelvin was raised in God, I figured that he would do right by me, so I did not think anything of it.

I never traveled to see Kelvin because he always made a way to come see me. His mother was always talking to me when they visit my state as if I was a part of the family. I felt welcomed by the family that I’ve met. Kelvin was home with his kids many nights and he allowed me to speak with the younger ones, they were so sweet, but I never spoke with his older kids at the time. One day I received a message from a womam on Facebook saying “Stay away from my husband!!” I asked her “who are you and who is your husband?” She responded with “Kelvin is my husband and you better leave him alone.” I remembered Kelvin mentioning that he was hurrying up with his Divorce, so I did not want to get involved with all their drama, all I knew was they were over with. I told her “Look your divorce with Kelvin is between y’all two, I do not want to get involved or have any problems with you.” She did not respond back. Another day I made a post on his Facebook wall with our favorite Alicia Keys song “Un-Thinkable” but before he saw it his suppose to be “Ex” commented on there saying “You keep playing with fire, you’re going to get burnt.” I was not only pissed that she was still in his friends list, but she’s started to mess with me. I responded with “Well maybe I like fire.” Not knowing what she meant by that, but I was trying to be petty back at her. She never really said anything to me and Kelvin always told me to ignore her.

One night I got a call from Kelvin phone, I answered it and said “hey babe!” It was his “Ex” She said “I got Kelvin here with me.” I asked her, “what are you doing with his phone? I don’t believe he’s there, let me hear his voice.” She put him on speaker and told him to say something and he said “It’s me Tina.” My heart dropped!!!!! I nearly cried. She got back on the phone and I asked her “are y’all getting a divorce?” She said “Divorce? What divorce? I live with him! We sleep in the same bed! We have sex. ” I said to her, “but, you’re never there!!! How? I talk to him all the time and see him every month.” She said “You’re not the first girl he did this with and he also did the same thing to his ex wife 9 years before me. This is how he pulled it off. I work night shifts, so when you thought he lived alone because you spoke with him all night, I was at work. When you talked to him throughout the day, I was home sleep while he was at work. You are not the first, he cheated on me before.” I was crushed!!!!! He told me all this stuff that she has done to him and that is why he left her. I even thought that she did not deserve him after all the crap he said that she have put him through, but the whole time it was him! I stopped talking to him. I saw his mother the following month and she asked to speak with me. I told her what happened, but she said to me, “Don’t walk away from my son, he has been through a lot, suffered a lot.” I asked her, what about his wife? They are married, live together and have kids.” She said “You don’t know that woman! She is not right for him, never have been and God will move her out of y’all way. Don’t lose him over her!” All I could say was “that’s his wife!” I felt so bad that I apologized to his wife, but she still left him. I remained friends with Kelvin, but I did not trust him. He finally filed for divorce and told me that he loved me. I was so confused because my heart said one thing, but my mind said another.

To be continued……