#and joseph took that kid and taught him a profession

[jaypentaghast]

this is very random but what I want in season 3 is a compilation of cute moments of Jesus with Mary and Joseph, followed by Jesus getting angry at god and being all "you're not my parent!!!"

[aion-rsa]

Home Alone’s Devin Ratray on Becoming Hollywood’s Ultimate Big Brother Bully, Buzz

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There are Christmas films and then there’s Home Alone.

Released back in 1990, no one really knew what to expect from this low-budget family comedy about a boy forced to defend his house from a pair of bungling burglars after being accidentally left behind from a family holiday.

Yet Home Alone is one of those rare examples of all the stars aligning in Hollywood to create something special. It’s a truly unique Christmas film, both feel-good and immensely funny, rivalled only in that respect by Will Ferrell’s Elf.

There are countless reasons why it remains a festive classic; John Hughes’s script, Chris Columbus’s deft direction, the work of cinematographer Kevin Macat and John Williams’s score are just a few examples.

One that often gets overlooked, however, is Devin Ratray’s Buzz McCallister.

Few actors have succeeded so well in bringing to life all the painfully familiar tropes of the average older brother. Buzz can be mean. His behaviour occasionally borders on bullying. But he’s also funny and, when it comes down to it, has a good heart. 

Ratray’s performance embodies that strange sibling duality perfectly.

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Hughes had written Home Alone with Macaulay Culkin in mind for the role of Kevin, while Columbus was always keen on bringing together the diverse talents of Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern as hapless criminals Harry and Marv.

It was Casting Director Janet Hirshenson who recruited Ratray for the role of Buzz – a role he could never have predicted, 30 years later, he would still be talking about.

“I’m asked about it all the time,” he tells Den of Geek.

“At this time of year, I am asked about it on a daily basis.”

According to Ratray, people tend to fall into one of two distinct categories when it comes to realising he played Buzz in Home Alone.

“People either know me right away or they find out after knowing me for some time. It can be quite a surprise. I don’t look the same as I did when I was 13,” he laughs.

Born in New York to actor parents Peter Ratray and Ann Willis, he had already been acting in movies for four years prior to landing the part of Buzz following a “relatively straightforward audition.”

After an initial meeting with Hirshenson he was invited to a hotel in midtown New York to read for Columbus.

“Chris encouraged me to explore the material. If I felt like throwing in a line or improvising, he wanted me to do that so he could get a better sense of who I was. He made me feel at ease and very comfortable and I walked out feeling quite relaxed. It was a pretty good experience in terms of an auditioning process and just a total joy when I got the part.” 

Ratray is even able to recall what he read for Columbus, more than 30 years later.

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“I remember doing the Old Man Marley speech in Buzz’s bedroom for the audition. I guess it helped that I had memorised it and felt comfortable with the script. I just felt very at ease with Chris Columbus. Maybe he felt that he could work with someone who didn’t come across as nervous on camera. I don’t know what it was but I’m just grateful that I got it.”

Some actors may have been able to draw from their own personal experience when it came to shaping a character like Buzz – plenty of us have been born with older brothers, after all.

But, fortunately for him, Ratray’s formative years were a far more pleasant experience. 

“I have an older brother and there is almost the same age difference as Kevin and Buzz but he and I got along very well growing up. He was nothing like Buzz at all. The exact opposite in fact, so there was no familial inspiration at home.”

Despite his largely negative depiction in Home Alone, the role of Buzz was one that Ratray relished playing and one he had no apprehension about taking on. 

“Up until then I had played either nerds or bullies. Both ends of the spectrum. But playing the bad guy is always more fun and playing a nasty, surly, rude teenage bastard like Buzz was great.”

Ratray has fond memories of life on the set of Home Alone working alongside the rest of the kids that can be found running around the McCallister house at the start of the film.

“We would laugh and joke around. We bonded like brothers and sisters. I don’t recall any fighting at all. I was also a bit older than most so they did treat me like Buzz the older brother but I felt very close with them and we had a pretty good time together.”

Even so, Ratray remembers facing a gruelling schedule of filming and school work on the set of Home Alone.

“It was hard. We had to go school on the set for three hours a day as well as putting in the eight-hour work day. We didn’t have breaks really.”

Occasionally, if there was a break in filming, he would be rushed off into a lesson with one of the private tutors on set. However, if filming resumed within 20 minutes, none of that lesson time would count towards the required three hours of schooling a day.

Despite the intense workload, Ratray has few regrets about being a child actor.

“It was still fun. A tremendous, unique childhood. I enjoyed it all. I only wish in retrospect I had paid more attention to the schooling on set. It made for a difficult transition when I would get back from a movie and have to catch up at school.” 

The hours may have been long and the schooling stop-start but Ratray still has fond memories of his “very brotherly relationship” with Culkin, who he was already aware of prior to Home Alone.

“He was the kid from Uncle Buck at the time and I loved his work in that. He was great to work with,” Ratray says.

“We would try and crack each other up on set. He never succeeded but I absolutely got him.”

Ratray had Culkin in stitches during the scene in which Buzz intentionally eats the cheese pizza specially ordered for Kevin and then offers to “barf” it up for him – classic Buzz.

“Every time on his close-ups, I would slowly shovel pizza into my mouth. I totally got him. He was at my mercy.”

Some actors might have struggled with take after take of eating pizza – but Ratray had no qualms about enjoying the delights of Little Nero’s Pizza, happily consuming slice after slice on camera.

“I have no idea how many takes it took but I never had any difficulty. I really encouraged Chris to let me eat the pizza in the grossest way possible.  Milk it for all it was worth. I did a pretty good job.”

While Ratray remembers laughing a lot with Culkin on the set, he cites his onscreen mother and future Schitt’s Creek star Catherine O’Hara as someone he looked up to on the film.

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“She taught me so much about comedic timing and being real. There’s real acting in her performance. I studied her and learned a tremendous amount. The balance between frantic panic and true comedy. Almost screwball comedy. It’s a very fine line and she does it brilliantly. I just loved working with her.”

Ratray wouldn’t encounter the more fearsome of the film’s two Wet Bandits, Joe Pesci, until work began on the sequel. It was an encounter that wouldn’t have sounded out of place in Goodfellas.

“I let my hair grow out after Home Alone. So, initially I had this long, shoulder length hair. Joe Pesci, at the time, had a massive, almost pompadour style thick head of hair and they shaved him bald for the movie.

“He was outside the makeup trailer once as I was going in with the long hair and he said ‘What? They’re letting you keep that? They’re letting you keep your hair like that? They had to shave mine!’” 

“I had to be like ’No, Mr Pesci, I’m going in to get the buzz.’ Then he was still there when I came out with the fresh buzz cut and was like ‘look at that, they got you too! Let me see it’ and ribbed me a little for us both having to shave our heads.”

One person he does regret not interacting with on the film is John Hughes though Ratray was fortunate enough to later be cast in another of his movies, the Home Alone-esque Dennis The Menace.

“I found him to be such a warm and caring and humorous guy. Joking around, laughing with kids. Working for him was an absolute honour and seeing what a great guy he was. I wish I could have spent more time with him.”

The Home Alone movies changed Culkin’s life, catapulting him to superstardom and staggering $8 million pay checks for the movies Getting Even With Dad and Richie Rich.

Ratray might not have enjoyed the same level of stardom but he’s continued to work steadily , popping up on TV procedurals like Blue Bloods, Law & Order Special Victims Unit and Elementary as well as in meatier roles on underrated shows like Mosaic and The Tick.

Alongside that has come film roles in critically-acclaimed fare like Nebraska and Blue Ruin. It’s a CV that demonstrates he’s never ended up typecast as a result of Buzz McCallister, even if it has had its ups and downs.

Devin Ratray in Blue Ruin (2013)

“I am very privileged to have continued to act as my only profession and luckily I am able to continue to do interesting and different roles that aren’t just Buzz. But clearly Buzz is something that is going to stay with me.”

Ratray acknowledges he has occasionally been on the receiving end of people who think it is “funny to challenge Buzz McCallister” in public but has never been targeted or bullied over it. He’s also encountered fellow actors who have told him he “caught a lucky break and didn’t deserve” the role. It’s hard to know which sounds worse.

And like Culkin, Ratray struggles to watch a film millions tune in to watch every Christmas.

“I don’t watch it the same way anybody else would. I watch the film and I think about the set that we were on or something that happened at lunch during that day. It’s a dissociative experience.”

With much of the world in lockdown and many film and TV productions only now beginning to get back up and running, Ratray decided to show the film to his seven-year-old son.

“I was expecting him to be a little more impressed. He was a little disorientated to tell you the truth. He watched it and was kind of fascinated when I was on.

“I’m not quite sure he comprehended that when he was looking at the child on the screen that that was his big bearded dad. It must have been an odd experience for him.”

All these years later and despite the personal difficulties he has with it, Ratray still has a favourite scene or two from Home Alone.

“I enjoy telling the Old Man Marley story. Also, at the end when Buzz tells Kevin it’s pretty cool that he didn’t burn the place down. That was a moment that showed he wasn’t a total dick.”

Generally, though, he is hypercritical watching himself back.

“I don’t really like my performance in Home Alone. I go for obvious choices. If I did it now, I would have been funnier and meaner and better all around.”

Even with all those difficulties and the fact that, 30 years later, he’s still fielding questions about a Christmas movie he made as a teenager, Ratray has nothing but gratitude for being involved in the  movie.

“I am grateful and thankful it has become a favourite for different generations and transcended film and become bigger than a movie. People associate the holidays with it and they associate family memories with it. It’s made a deep, visceral impact on many people and also, now, their children and even grandchildren over the past 30 years. 

“It’s a tremendous phenomenon to be part of and I am very glad that I get to say I played a part.”

Buzz McCallister undoubtedly played an important part in making Home Alone the film fondly remembered today – and it may yet end up being a part he returns to in the not-too-distant future.

“I’m not at liberty to say right now but there may very well be a future engagement and return to the character. But I am not allowed to say right now.”

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Watch this space.

The post Home Alone’s Devin Ratray on Becoming Hollywood’s Ultimate Big Brother Bully, Buzz appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[bloomsburgu]

The sound of success

Enrique Josephs was cooling his jets at LAX waiting for a flight. A call came in on his cell from his agent. A quick trip to the men’s room where he opened up a suitcase on a changing table to reveal his mobile recording studio. Ten minutes later ... mission accomplished. Spot recorded and delivered to the client.

For a voice-over artist, working in strange locations at all hours of the day and night is part of the business. It’s a career that Josephs, better known to his friends as EJ, never even knew existed if not for a chance meeting at a summer event on campus.

It’s already been a meteoric journey for the 26-year old with many big dreams still in his future. Among his credits is work for NFL Films, the History Channel, MLB Network, ESPN and the Emmy-nominated Harry Connick Jr. television show. Along the way though, there were lots of twists and turns and a bit of luck.

Josephs was a highly-recruited football offensive lineman from West Chester. One of his high school teachers, John Adams, the father of a former BU football player Stefan Adams, suggested he give BU a serious look for both its football team and its strong mass communications program.

“The late Mr. Adams really influenced me to attend BU,” said Josephs. “I loved playing football and had dreams of becoming a news anchor. He thought Bloomsburg University would be good for me with both a strong football team and mass communications department.”

“My early goal was to be a news anchor,” said Josephs. Those dreams of being an on-camera celebrity soon changed. “I realized I liked being behind the scenes as an editor or on the radio more. I could let my personality come through without being worried about the camera.”

After his football career ended due to injury, fate would intervene for EJ when former teammate Franklyn Quiteh recommended his friend to the BU athletic department for a job as a PA announcer at the school’s home games. Once the staff heard him on the microphone, Josephs was quickly hired.

“Working as a PA announcer taught me how to make adjustments on the fly in a stressful situation,” EJ continued. “Initially I was fearful of what people would think of my voice, but I grew into enjoying the interaction I had with the fans as well as still being part of a sport without actually playing.”

In the mass comm department, EJ was actively involved in many areas. “I started volunteering more for projects the mass comm department was working on with Jason Genovese, now chair of the department, and Mike DiGiorgio (former assistant in the IT area),” Josephs added.

“EJ always had the talent, the golden pipes, but you need more than that, and he knew it,” said Genovese. “He had a work ethic that has already carried him to great heights in the television industry and will continue to do so.”

“As a senior I attended the first Confer Radio Institute held at BU,” said Josephs. “I met Pat Garrett one of the top voice-over guys. I never knew doing that kind of work could be a career. Pat let us use his equipment to record demos and also told us to keep working and not give up. It was great advice that I never forgot.”

But a journey from ‘keep working hard kid’ to NFL Films doesn’t just happen. Along with skill, EJ needed some luck and a few breaks.

By day Josephs was working as a video instructor at the Glen Mills school for troubled youth. By night he was interning for an independent baseball team, the Camden River Sharks, learning as much as he could and getting tips from the public address announcer Kevin Casey, now the voice of the Philadelphia Union professional soccer team.

On a career day at Glen Mills, an engineer from NFL Films was on site. A co-worker of EJ’s introduced him to the engineer. After a brief conversation, EJ was asked to send in a demo.

“I scrambled that night at home to put something together and quickly sent it in,” Josephs continued. “The company surprised me by calling me in for an interview. It went so well, a few months later I was offered a job as a production assistant, ironically just a few days after landing a full-time position with the school.” (He quickly quit his job at the school.)

EJ’s big break came just months later when he was tabbed to be the voice of the post-game spot announcing the opportunity to purchase gear and a highlight DVD of the Super Bowl. Later he worked

on a highlight film of the Super Bowl becoming the first seasonal production assistant hired for that role.

“I had to sleep at NFL films multiple nights to meet the deadline,” said Josephs. “The same producers who recorded his demo gave him a shot to do the narration on the Super Bowl 50 highlights. It was huge. They loved it.”

Later that year EJ caught another big break and landed a spot as the voice of the NFL’s Top 100 when the original voice of the show was arrested. “I was working with the show’s Emmy Award-winning producer doing some training. After the original voice-over artist was dropped, the producer hired me to be the new voice that year. We had to re-record two episodes which had aired already and now I am one of three regular voices of the program.”

Most recently Josephs did the narration for the History Channel’s summer show “Evel Live,” which was the most-watched live show outside of a sporting event on television in 2018 with more than 3.5 million viewers.

“The production company for the show, Nitro Circus, had heard some of my work and asked me to audition,” Josephs said. “A short time after sending in my audition, my agent called me to tell me I got the job.” Of course, that day was also his first day of vacation in Virginia.

“I had to call a friend, who called someone he knew, and I landed time in a studio. In all, it took about two hours to record all the narration so I didn’t lose too much of my vacation.”

While the profession may seem simple to an outsider, just like an athlete, EJ has to train, practice and of course take care of his most valuable asset…his voice.

“Each week I work with a voice coach because it’s easy to strain the vocal chords if you’re not careful,” said Josephs. “Recently, I went to a concert, but couldn’t scream. I also drink a lot of water, tea with honey, and eat lots of apples. I’ve also stopped drinking milk because lactate creates too much mucus. And, my girlfriend’s grandmother put me on to echinacea and I haven’t been sick in more than three years (knock on wood),” said Josephs laughing.

“Originally I was very hard on myself and would critique all my work,” Josephs continued. “I don’t do it as much now. Now I’m just interested in making sure my clients are happy with my work.”

So what’s next for the guy who originally was hoping to be a news anchor?

“It’s been an amazing few years for me, but I do not want to be complacent,” said Josephs. “I see my future in promos, commercials and narrations. It would be great to be able to do a long-term series for Nat Geo or the Discovery Channel. I’d love to be synonymous with one show.”

“Ultimately, the Olympics for voice-over artists are movie trailers. Right now two guys have most of the work in this area. I’m not rushing things; I’ve still got a lot to learn about the industry. But movie trailers is where I hope to one day land.”

Despite his growing status in the voice-over world, EJ still finds time to give back. “I’m mentoring three young men at my church in the voice-over business and recently spent an hour on the phone with an intern from NFL Films answering her questions. “For me, it’s about helping others on their journey,” said Josephs. “I learned a lot by trial and error. My goal is to help others achieve their dreams.”

Dreams. We all have them. For some, the dreams don’t always come true. For others, like EJ, each day is a dream come true and more exciting than the last. Where that dream takes him, only time and his voice will say.

[illuminating-dragons]

Lay Here In My Arms (6/14): Partners

Pairing: Lou Delacour & Bert Joseph

Read it on AO3

           Lou had the highest sex drive of anyone they knew.

           Seriously; five times a week wasn’t quite enough for them, but that was about as often as they could find willing partners. They made do other nights; self-love was important, and it was sometimes better after a disappointing lay.

           So Lou thought a lot about sex. Almost as much as photography; if it were more, they’d have to change professions.

           But photography was their real passion, mental, physical and emotional. They were happiest with a camera in their hand, happiest walking a shoot, looking for the perfect angles.

           Several of Lou’s competitors were confused by their approach. Other photographers would do everything, including massive (and slightly illegal) spells to control the circumstances of a shoot. Clothing, weather, landscape, lighting…some photographers even changed people’s physical appearance.

           Dennis Creevey, who’d taught Lou from the age of twelve, was definite on that subject. “You’re already creating an image of reality. Don’t alter reality for a perfect image.”

           Now, Dennis approached that in a different way. His photography was mostly of places—graveyards, gardens, houses and towers. He could go somewhere else if the weather was bad, and he avoided human subjects (“that was my brother’s work”).

           Lou, on the other hand, scheduled shoots in all weather, in all kinds of places, with whoever was willing to work under those conditions. They provided shelter between shoots while they walked around and made a call, and there was always refreshments. Lou provided the food—either fruit salads or hot buns—and Bert provided the drinks—his secret recipe lemonade or his secret recipe hot chocolate. There were always requests for seconds.

           The results were pictures that were blurry with rain, subjects dripping with sweat, flat lighting and one whole suite that was off-focus due to a busted camera.

           And people seemed to love it.

           Lou was glad people enjoyed their work, because it paid the bills and kept them in cameras and hot buns. But even if everyone hated it, they would keep doing pictures the same way. It was all they knew how to do, and they were after photos that made sense, that were real.

           Lou hadn’t always been so confident. Their first portfolio sat in a drawer in their childhood bedroom for six months, six months after they had to move home because they were out of money, and they wondered rather bleakly whether they ought to try working with Maman as a doula after all.

           But then when they were eighteen and a half, they met Bert in Diagon Alley, and that changed everything.

           Lou didn’t have to explain anything with Bert. Bert did all the talking. He was older than Lou by about six years, but in many ways he was childlike; innocent as he talked about his life. He worked in magical housekeeping (a growing market as house elves started to fall out of fashion). He wasn’t held in much respect, but he didn’t care. He had fun while he worked, and that was all that mattered.

           He saw Lou’s work and loved it, gazing through the portfolio and commenting on each picture, grasping the meaning Lou had tried so hard to capture. Bert understood, and that meant everything. And it was Bert who suggested the road shows.

           Uncle George and Uncle Ron were happy to offer the space in front of their shop, and people stopped and looked and asked questions. Some questions were easy, some questions were hard, but Lou answered all that they could. When they couldn’t, it was actually Bert who answered.

           When Lou asked him how he knew so much, Bert showed him his own passion; mixing drinks. “I don’t like to cook, and I don’t like to bake; everything gets hidden there. But when you’re looking through glass, you can see how the ingredients come together, and how people mix the same drinks in different ways. Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t think I am. And when I look at your pictures, I see what you’re seeing. It’s easy.”

           Of course it wasn’t that simple, but it wasn’t that Bert was lying. He just didn’t understand how his Sight worked. Most wizards (and Muggles) didn’t notice that kind of Sight. Bert couldn’t see the past, he couldn’t predict the future, but he could see the small parts of themselves people put into their acts of creation. No matter how small, how insignificant, he could see it. Bert never found that out, because no one bothered to explain, but it wouldn’t have mattered to him. He didn’t need to know why it worked; it just did.

           After the show it was easier to find clients and money, and soon enough Lou and Bert opened their photography studio. Well, it was a studio upstairs; the building had stood empty since Florean Fortescue’s disappearance, and it was only on the condition that they start an ice cream business as well that they bought the building from Florean’s grieving daughter Jill. Bert promised, and kept it ‘Florean’s’. He and Lou started getting clients left and right; some would come for ice cream and stay for photos, or pick up a sundae after a shoot. They were busy, beautifully busy, and Lou could shoot whatever they wanted.

           (They were also responsible for the Family picture every year, which was an amusing exercise in how many words they could make out of all the sweaters. The best times were when new people joined the family, opening new anagram possibilities).

Two years later, when Aurors came to inform them that they’d found Florean’s body at last, Bert went with Jill to identify his wand. Jill worked in the ice cream business after that, and she and Bert spent long hours coming up with new recipes, new ways of presenting ice cream and other cold delights. She and Bert eventually married, and Lou took pictures at their children’s births (which were not shared publicly). They ended up with seven kids, a set of quadruplets and a set of triplets.

           But before Jill (and even after Jill), when Lou wanted to indulge their sex drive and invite lovers over, there was always hesitation. “What about Bert?” was the common refrain.

           “What about him?” Lou would always ask.

           Sometimes people would accuse them of being callous, but Lou didn’t mind that. Explaining that his partner was his friend and they’d never slept together (nor did Bert want to) was easy.

           It was when people would say, “oh, you’re just friends?” that Lou would get angry.

           Because Bert was the first person to understand Lou without explanation. It was Bert who worked so hard to make sure others understood Lou. It was Bert who still cheerfully helped out with shoots at all hours of the day (Lou tried for after ice-cream hours but Jill just hired a phalanx of teenagers and told them to skive off ALREADY). It was Bert who still let Lou have comfortable silences and company and beautifully mixed drinks (sometimes alcoholic, sometimes not) and a home of their own.

`           If people saw friendship as inferior to romantic love, Lou just thought they were wrong. But if some hot person they wanted to fuck believed that about Bert, about the love of their fucking life, well then. There were plenty of hot people they could fuck.

           There was only one Bert.  

[usnewsaggregator-blog]

The D.C. sportswriter who went from covering the Redskins to selling organic food

New Post has been published on https://usnewsaggregator.com/sport/the-d-c-sportswriter-who-went-from-covering-the-redskins-to-selling-organic-food/

The D.C. sportswriter who went from covering the Redskins to selling organic food

(Jen Dominic for The Washington Post)

STAUNTON, Va. — The tin of cookies emerged from behind his desk, three dozen or so. They were dark chocolate-cranberry-pumpkin-maple. The pumpkin came from real pumpkins, which Joseph White had acquired by asking businesses in this marvelous downtown whether they still needed their decorative Halloween gourds. The cookies were delightful.

If White had brought a baked treat like this to the Redskins Park media trailer — which he did, week after week, year after year, during some of the craziest moments in franchise history — “I’d have to hire two guards to keep [reporters] away,” he noted.

But his new colleagues are a bit different than the ones he left behind in Ashburn. Three dozen homemade cookies here last days, not seconds. He’s given up on the idea of throwing parties centered around food. And when White takes his employees out for dinner, he can pay with a $20 bill and get change. “These people just don’t eat,” he said of the staff at at Cranberry’s Grocery & Eatery.

There are other differences, too. The folks inside Cranberry’s aren’t glued to Twitter, aren’t surgically attached to their phones and don’t particularly care whether the Redskins opt for continuity or chaos this offseason. Which isn’t to say nothing changes here. On the day I visited the natural-food outpost now owned by White, he offered up a brand-new creation dreamed up by his staffers: Earl Grey rolls. Imagine a cinnamon roll dipped in bergamot oil, and served warm. They were delightful, too.

You might not know White’s name, but you’ve probably read his work or heard his voice. For about two decades, he was the Associated Press’s D.C. sports correspondent, the guy who asked the first question at most Redskins news conferences, the man tasked with describing Christmas Eve at FedEx Field for readers across the country. He wrote about Norv Turner and Marty Schottenheimer, about Steve Spurrier and Joe Gibbs, about Clinton Portis’s costumes and Sean Taylor’s death. He chronicled the return of baseball, the rise of Ovechkin and the fall of Arenas. He traveled to five Olympics, covered the National Spelling Bee as well as anyone has ever covered anything and was named the 2005 AP Sportswriter of the Year. Then he left, taking a sabbatical from the AP and buying a health-food store and restaurant 140 miles from Ashburn.

The sabbatical is over. White isn’t coming back.

How do you go from covering one of the NFL’s most chaotic franchises to selling local honey (“the greatest honey you’ll ever have”) and local kombucha (“you can feel the probiotics flow through you”) and an exclusive label of organic fair-trade coffee, while bragging that “there is not a drop of high-fructose corn syrup anywhere in the building”?

“After a while, you’re just ready for a new adventure,” White said as we munched on cookies and listened to classical music near a stack of local newspapers. (“7-Eleven Removes Gas Pumps to Allow for More Parking,” read one front-page headline.) “I was originally a theater person, then I became a radio person, then I became a writer, and now I do this. You move on to the next thing, because there’s another cool thing to do.”

If nothing else, I am consistent. First snow creature my store’s street. Meet Charley, the @GoCranberrys snow gnome. pic.twitter.com/8rulLjVjuE

— Joseph White Jr. (@JGatlinWhite) February 17, 2015

I’m not sure if this is a sports story. Maybe it’s a media story, or a retail story. There’s probably more than a little wish fulfillment involved. But I do know this: The sportswriting business once had an allure of authentic characters, one-of-a-kind types you wouldn’t meet elsewhere, people you couldn’t possibly forget. I’m sure they still exist, but they seem harder to find every year. And I promise you this: You would never forget Joseph White.

What other sportswriter would pull over on his way out of Redskins Park, set up his telescope on top of his car and observe the four moons of Jupiter? What other sportswriter would bike to Redskins Park — and then keep his helmet on while interviewing Mike Shanahan? What other sportswriter would produce logic puzzles for other writers to work on during rain delays? What other sportswriter would leave the baseball stadium and immediately go camping; or build an igloo; or travel to Edgar Allan Poe’s grave for an annual birthday vigil; or present his media-room pals with homemade pumpkin-mint-chocolate chip cookies, or butterscotch pie, or treats made with hand-picked mulberries, or a full barbecue feast brought back from North Carolina?

That one came after his father’s death. His dad had taught him that if he ever had spare change, he should do something nice for someone else. When he was tidying up his dad’s house, he found some spare change. So he brought back lunch for his friends.

On his last day covering the Redskins, the other reporters gave him a standing ovation.

“Joe really is one of a kind,” wrote former Skins beat writer Mike Jones, when I asked about White. “You could say that about a lot of people, but it really did apply to him, and his quirky ways were part of the reason why everybody liked him.”

“When I think of Joe, I think of a true original — a man who marches to a singular tune in his head,” The Post’s Liz Clarke wrote. “I think what has made him so beloved among fellow sportswriters is that unlike so many journalists, Joe rarely, if ever, complains and lacks the cynicism and pettiness that too often mars the profession.”

“We all find him endearing and gentle and down-to-earth,” former Washington Times writer Zac Boyer wrote, “but there’s also a quirkiness to him that warms your heart.”

“Joe will be missed because he’s simply a good guy,” wrote ESPN’s John Keim, “and because he liked to bake for us.”

If White didn’t act like everyone else, he didn’t write like us, either, glorying in the weirdest stories, the goofiest anecdotes, the most outlandish quotes. I always figured that’s why he reveled in covering every inch of the Spelling Bee, an event he has attended even after leaving the business. Turns out it was more than that.

“I felt like it was important to tell the stories of the Spelling Bee kids, because they get such a stereotype about them,” he told me. “Hey, this is an awesome kid who plays baseball and the violin and goes to public school — and these are the kids who are going to make a difference in the world. They’re going to be the doctors and lawyers and scientists and so forth, which is a whole heckuva lot more important than making a bunch of three-pointers.”

Arrived inBaltimore for the Poe Vigil w/ cookies for all and scorecards to judge the Faux Toasters. Join us! pic.twitter.com/IDreyw4jwP

— Joseph White Jr. (@JGatlinWhite) January 19, 2014

He didn’t dress like us, either. Former Redskins lineman Stephen Bowen — who called White “F-Dot” because of his Freddy Krueger attire — once stopped an interview, looked at White’s sweater and asked, “What the hell are you wearing? Is that sweater from 1989?” White thought about it, and told Bowen the sweater was probably five years older than that. He recently told a friend that there are three things left he wants to buy — a new telescope, a straight razor and a pair of cross-country skis — “and once I get those three things, I’ll own everything I want.”

It’s a lifestyle that helped open the possibilities of a new business adventure. White, now 54, previously had worked as a country-music DJ in North Carolina, and for AP radio in London. Nearly two decades covering Washington sports was a long time tilting at the same windmill. By the end, it felt like he didn’t need to use his tape recorder anymore; he had heard the same quotes in 1997, and 2001, and 2005; heard rookies saying how happy they were to be in Washington and optimistic coaches promising a fresh new era.

His brother had lived in Staunton for years, and White and his son loved visiting the arts-and-theater town. So out of nowhere, he e-mailed the owners of Cranberry’s, asking what retail niches in the active downtown district still needed filling. They told him they were ready to retire and suggested he just buy their store. Many months later, he did. He took a two-year sabbatical from the AP but knew pretty quickly that he wouldn’t be going back.

And so, on the day I visited, instead of chronicling the melancholic end of yet another playoff-free Redskins season, White was rejoicing about a delivery from Blue Ridge Bakery, and getting change from the bank (“you’re awesome!” he told the teller as he left), and singing showtunes from “South Pacific” with a customer-turned-friend, and getting ready to make posters for that week’s trivia night. (Introducing a weekly trivia night was one of his first innovations as store owner. He writes the questions himself.)

When protesters gather in front of the nearby courthouse, he brings them free coffee. When staffers need a break, he fills in behind the register. His favorite thing about the gig is meeting new people: the backpacker from Finland, the random late-night shopper who became one of his new best friends, the Amtrak travelers who hop off the thrice-weekly Cardinal Route, telling him about their adventures and listening to his.

He’s trying to launch an “Amazing Race”-style event in Staunton, and a program to offer low-income kids a meal at Cranberry’s, and a show at the adjacent Blackfriars theater. Many of his staffers are into the city’s thriving theater scene; one directed “Doctor Faustus,” and another directed “A Winter’s Tale.” He’s embraced Staunton’s Harry Potter festival; “we definitely have to order more chocolate frogs this year,” he noted. On Thursday night, he hosted a Solstice Bonfire.

The store and cafe were already successful before he arrived, and he mostly tries to stay out of his employees’ way — “all I did was just hop on a galloping horse,” he said. So he waters the plants and changes the light bulbs and designs the monthly placemats and tries to make the place feel like a home.

His mom ran a country store for more than two decades in rural North Carolina — that was his living room as a kid — and he wants Cranberry’s to have that same community-gathering-place appeal. He even made a replica of a sign that used to hang in her store. “You are a stranger here but once,” it reads. It feels like it.

“Why do I like this?” he said, repeating my question, as it snowed gently outside. (“It’s snowing!” he had shouted, when the first flakes appeared.)

“It’s a really cool place,” he finally answered. “I have really cool people working for me. I’ve got really cool customers. There’s not a day I turn that corner to come down here and look at the building and go, ‘Man, I don’t want to come to work today.’ I mean, there are times you could easily feel that way as a sportswriter — ‘Man, I don’t feel like going to practice today: It’s day 17 of training camp, I’d rather be home with my family.’ There’s not a day that I’ve come here where I was like, what did I get myself into?”

Mom used to have a sign like this in the country store she ran for 22 years. Figured I’d get one for @GoCranberrys. pic.twitter.com/ijJEWyiXf8

— Joseph White Jr. (@JGatlinWhite) February 11, 2015

He was talking about this general idea with Rob, his grocer, just the other day. They always banter about song lyrics and conspiracy theories and philosophy, and this time they were talking about how time is more valuable than money, because one is finite and the other isn’t. Why is that so easy to forget?

“You know, you don’t get moments back,” White said. “And I don’t know what the next adventure will be beyond this. Who knows?”

He’s having one now, though. Maybe stop in and see him if you’re ever in Staunton. Ask for the Earl Grey rolls.

More from the D.C. Sports Bog:

One fan’s thoughts on how the Redskins can improve the fan experience at FedEx Field

Carol Maloney leaves NBC Washington

After losing more than 80 pounds, former Redskin Will Montgomery’s ‘not scary anymore’

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