#and just. sososososoooo excited for more of them

[snickerdoodlles]

it’s 3.30am but instead of sleeping I’m crying in DMs over KimChay I just

Kim looks at Chay and sees how he’s strong in all the ways he’s not. Kim fragments himself, tries to break himself into sides and pieces so he can put all the bits of him he likes in one persona to present, and hide the parts he hates-rejects-fears in another; contrasted with Chay who is always aggressively honest and unapologetically himself. Kim lingers on the edge of two different worlds, telling himself he’s pursuing his dreams when in truth he’s just stagnated in limbo between them—Chay fearlessly pursues what he wants, like asking his idol for lessons the first time they meet and begging to share his first attempts at composing. Kim ignores the violence he came from, as though he could leave it all behind so long as he runs away as far and as fast he can. Chay is sweet and happy not because he’s sheltered from the ugliness in his world, but rather because he saw the violence that had seeped through the cracks and went “no, you don’t get to take away more of my happiness than you already have”

Chay does everything Kim wishes he could do with apparent ease and I’m such a mess thinking about how hard Kim’s going to fall the more they get to know each other, and how much Kim’s going to genuinely and admire Chay and his inner strength

[sawsession]

just a con diary entry ig, look away LMFAO

anyway never getting over this con and cosplaying riz bc people were genuinely so excited to see him!! like i've gotten lots of compliments and pictures of my other cosplays, but only once before have i had someone litrally yell in surprise bc im cosplaying a character they love. (the girl who recognized my ai in 2022 and yelled "AI!" i will never forget you). but with riz it was like, every couple minutes i'd hear "RIZ GUKGAK?!" or "omg are you riz??!?!". like dear convention goers, there are so many fantasy high fans out there, we couldve totally done a meetup lol

Also this is most ppl have like wanted to talk to me. as in, they were so excited to see someone cosplaying riz that they had to talk to me about fantasy high, and it was so so soso sososososoooo fun bc i love hearing ppl talk about things they love!!!! i wish i wasnt so bad socially cause i totally wouldve talked w ppl more, but i get too nervous that im overstaying my welcome lol

there was a person selling in artists ally who was super excited to see me and they gave me a free sticker kjdfhsjkfsh shaking and crying, it was so fun y'all ppl love this silly little goblin

and the business cards were my greatest idea ever btw, ppl LOVED them. the last guy i gave one too said "of course you have business cards" LSJKFSKLJFS the reaction was either something along those lines or like a yell or gasp cause like omg riz's business cards... i just wish i had sturdier paper lmfao

in 2022 i put so much work into Ai and it really paid off, i loved the costume and i got so many compliments at the con, almost entirely from ppl who didnt know the character but appreciated the costume. with Riz I literally put maybe one weekends worth of effort into it, and had just as good of a time. i think it was nice to experience this to balance out the part of my brain that wants to put months of effort into my cosplay every year. some years thats nice, but not every year lmfao

so much happened i feel but also it can all basically be boiled down into people were so excited to see me. i went in expecting to give out like 3 business cards and probably gave out at least 20. not everyone that recognized me got one, but most ppl did. also getting called "the ball" by fellow con goers was so funny and wonderful

it was very fun and cute to run into a group of friends cosplaying adaine, fig, and fabian (the fig had a crochet baby and i litrally GASPED it was so adorable!!!) cause it was like omg no doubles.... 4 out of 6 bad kids isnt too bad hehe. also the adaine cosplayer had a little boggy on their shoulder!!!!! anyway. perhaps thats part of the joy too, ive never done a character where i was able to meet other ppl cosplaying in their series and like get super hyped about a picture together hehe

last note i think, perhaps part of the wonderful experience is bc this is also the first time i felt like i could actually somewhat personify my character. the business cards definitely helped with that, but riz is a character where it is so easy to like not disappoint. like hes an anxiety ridden little guy and oh boy am i also anxiety ridden sfsjfklsjf. genuinely just felt comfortable as him and it was so much fun

anyway posting this as like a little diary entry to keep the post con crushing loneliness at bay lfkjsfklsjfskfj

[ja3yun]

okkayyyyyy we're starting off the chapter STRONG. icb they're going at it like rabbits but then again this is hoonyn we're talking about 🤕🤕 LOVE LOVE LOVE YN FOR FINALLY PUTTING HERSELF FIRST?.!:!/! YOU GO BABY GIRL!!!! get that D 😋 & ofc they arent following the rules they set 🤣🤣 wbk tho they're too down bad for eo to actually follow their rules & hoon constantly saying words of affirmation and basically just showering yn w love 🥰 oh we love to see that!

ugh theyre just so cute 🥹 why did have to keep her feelings in check 🤕 went out for dinner 3 nights ago? THAT WAS 3 NIGHTS AGO BBGIRL in fact you should hang out w hoon everyday 🥰🥰 24/7 🤍🤍 FUCK FUCK FUCK SHE ASKED HIM IF HE WANTED TO GO TO HER AWARD CEREMONY FUCKKKKKK WE CHEERED!:!/'sbs I SCREAMED 😝😝😝😝😝 and he REALLY SAID FK HIS PLANS he's going to her award ceremony instead GET U A MAN LIKE THATTT and then he KISSED HER AND THANKED HER FOR LETTING HIM BE A PART OF HER LIFE?!;!:!/ FAWKKK SOMEONE HOLDME I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THEY R EVERYTHING TO ME!!!!! 😫😫😫😫😫 they r so soft so attached so astronomically down bad for each other i love that for them i want need them to always be this happy together 🙏🏻🙏🏻 and ofc she's gna give him a blowjob 😋

HER CONTACT NAME FOR HOON OMFG?:!/!/! not rina seeing right through them the moment she sees them interact ☠️☠️☠️ no bc mp!hoon is a literal DREAM guy like he may not be the biggest fan of rina bc of that incident but he's willing to set it aside and be at least neutral w her for yn? that is something not everyone can do and what more that hoonyn arent even tgt tgt 🫣 HE SAVED ADDRESSES ASSOCIATED W HER IN HIS GPS?:!:!/ yeap im gone. u lost me. this is my 192837293 time screaming abt them but how can i not when theyre literally that in love w each other 😭😭😭

everytime minhee becomes the sweetest & most caring older brother for yn i get why she tries to keep some distance w hoon and why she feels guilty but i also wish she'd just fk it for once and live HER life 🥺

i love it whenever hoon calls yn baby and esp sweets it rly cld be just me but its the sweetest thing ever 🥹 HE'S SO ENDEARING CHEERING FOR HER LIKE THAT UGH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH (as ive already said for the 1937263783 time 🤕) STOP FIRST THEY TAKE THE CUTEST PHOTOS TOGETHER AND THEN THEY SAID F THE NO LABELS?:!:!: i used to PRAY for moments like this THEYRE FINALLY TGT TGT 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 though its hush hush but a win is still a WIN 🏆

the "are you gonna stare or are you gonna fuck your girlfriend" is a crazy ass thing to say & hoon is stronger than me bc if i were a guy and i were hoon id nut right then and there. sorry not sorry 🤕 AND THEN SHE PROCEEDS TO LET HIM HIT HER RAW TO FURTHER THEIR CONNECTION?/!:&/ when ure in a which couple is most in love with each other competition and hoonyn r ur competitors. theyre immediately taking the crown soz i dont make the rules 🏆🏆🏆🏆 & then their confession to each other after everything >>>>

aj i get what u mean now this chapter is my favourite as well omfg. I JUST LOVE HOW U PORTRAY HOONYN LIKE 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍 they fit each other perfectly like puzzle pieces 🧩 literally made for each other 😫😫😫 I LOVE HOW U GAVE US AN ENTIRE CHAPTER OF JUST HOONYN FLUFF AND SMUT LIKE THANK YOU FOR UR SERVICE <33333 i really love melting point sososososoooo much i feel like i can never thank u enough for sharing this masterpiece with us all i always look forward to fridays so i can catch the new update 😆😆 but im also lowkey scared for the upcoming chapters bc idk how minhee will react when he finds out? or when yn confesses? but i know hoon will be w her no matter what so its all good 😫🙏🏻

happy weekend <3 sorry if i yap too much i get excited whenever i read a fic that is long and HITS HARD

starting off the chapter with a sex scene was a risk i was willing to take icl. if i was yn i would also be fucking hoon any chance i got, i think it's realistic lmao.

sunghoon is the standard now when it comes to men bc he literally lays the world at her feet and i'll accept nothing less now 😮‍💨 i'm so happy they're finally together like i felt like it came around so fast but also not fast enough.

thank you so much for reading and coming to talk to me about it! i love when i can see people truly enjoying the fic, i'm super glad you are! ilysm and i cant wait for you to resd next week <3

[notbrute]

Yesterday was so fun!! Didn't touch on it but I went around all day to find clothes for a shoot and got home around 6pm (shoot started at 7). When I got home my mom brought food and it was perfect timing because I hadn't ate anything all day. I ended up arriving at the shoot around 7:40, and I kinda felt bad but he was late the first time so I didn't feel as bad. When I arrived Stephen, ky, sean, xylophone, and Sean's friend was there. Mia ended up arriving out of no where and I was SHOOK. I didn't know Mia was going to be one of the models! I enjoyed doing their makeup and styling them. I love seeing my ideas and creativity come to life. Although it was hot as fuck it was fun and I felt content overall. After me and ky went to live below and it was litttt. I ended up running into Bentley again! Ugh I wake up every morning thinking about if I got the job or not. It's sucks. But before I forget.... helens friend Austin? He is ☄️🔥☄️💥☄️🔥💥☀️🔥💥⭐️!!!!! Pretty boys are the ones who motivate me to become more fit and healthy. I want to look good and masculine so I can have the confidence to spit game lol. I thought I lost my wallet when I went tot my car but I just left it in the trunk like a dumbass. OH, and I'm sososososoooo excited for these film pictures!!!! I've never shot film in a studio so I'm really stoked on how these came out. Sean asked me to style couple more people this week but honestly I feel as though he's just using me. But then again I'm in my feels with him. Y must the photographer be Sean!!!