#and maybe she hopes that there's an elizabeth-- an Anna-- who got to stay with her dad

[thatmivy]

I fall asleep to playlist of RT's longer videos, and there's something so special about waking up to the end of Bioshock Infinite, hearing Courtney and Troy's beautiful rendition of "Will the Circle Be Unbroken." Idk if I have the words to truly encapsulate how much I feel in that quiet moment.

[angel-princess-anna]

APA Speculation Sunday

Yay, more interviews for me to read too much into!

(My mind is muddled atm, so sorry if this is a bit muddled too)

One interview comes from Simon Curtis, the director (and Elizabeth’s husband), with Total Film. He calls the new movie "entertaining, emotional", and that make me curious. I don’t remember if DA 2019 was called “emotional” in promo because, well, I blocked a lot of that out of my head (for my new followers, I am not fond of the first movie because I feel like the majority of the characters were OOC and it was a farce vs. a drama with some humor). Being that this is the director though, I feel like this is a good sign that this film is more in line with the TV than the first which was, imho, goofy.

The ‘making a movie’ plot seems to "descend upon Downton while the Crawleys are soaking in the sun”, but again, this makes me question the timeline of the scene we have in the trailer because even if Mary stays behind, and thus Anna... why is Baxter in that scene?? She should be with Cora...

Curtis also says that there's a suggestion at big changes, but my guess is a few foreshadowing lines to the upcoming Stock Market Crash. The movie is supposedly set 1928, not 1929, and in the TV show, Fellowes foreshadowed events before with dialogue and not covered them.

Again though I cycle back around to Violet and her health but idk.

And while the film is subtitled “A New Era”, is seems that that doesn’t come into play until the end. "It ends with a new era emerging" Curtis says. The article ends with "prepare for the closing of a chapter", but I don’t know if they are just paraphrasing him or...? How much of an new era are we ushering in?? This is more questions than answers at this point.

Meanwhile we got an interview with Hugh Dancy, and I’m just curious it 1) he’s reading this (jk), and 2) if there’s a reason he namechecked “Mr Bates.” In the early days of DA, “Mr Bates” was like the “Mr Darcy” of the TV series period drama world, but then, not to mince words, sadly his popularity sank like a rock. So either my man had some staying power in the minds of the general public... or Hugh Dancy’s character has scenes with him? or maybe that’s all who Hugh D remembered from trying to watch it back in the day? (also I hope that Fandom Wiki’s bios are more accurate in 2021 than they were in 2016. I never really use it because there was a lot wrong back in the day, I know it’s lead to discussions here about Thomas’ age etc. because of conflicting info).

But yeah, to think we’d be getting the second film this week had the not pushed it back O__O

[glassprism]

Hi GP! Sorry if you answered this question before, but when I saw your post about Phantoms who definitely die at the end of POTO or definitely did, that made wonder... which Christines could you buy going back to the Phantom for one night à la LND (or on the other hand, those who definitely won't 😅)? I was thinking of maybe Gina Beck's Christine, or maybe Sierra's if it's Ramin's Phantom. I could see Christine coming back for Earl Carpenter's Phantom, for instance, but not really Rachel Barrell's Christine (not to mention I don't really see Earl's Phantom becoming Mr. Y either). Anyway, I hope you are well! ❤

Got a similar second ask:

Follow up on the saucy Music of the Night post: which Christines, in your opinion, acted like they wanted to stay at the end of the show? Just rewrite the script and stay? Might even be some of the ones who really got into it on MOTN. Sierra, for example, definitely looked like she was ready to full on stay. Of course this is also how the actress themselves feels about the Phantom character.

I think what's interesting is that sometimes the Christine actresses who seem to want to stay aren't actually going for that in their interpretation. We also have the opposite: Christines who say they would return to the Phantom but who don't seem like it in the show.

Like, to take the former example, I can think of Celia Graham and Trista Moldovan. Celia Graham is an interesting case in that this is partially based off her run in Love Never Dies and in interviews she had while in that show, where she expressed that Christine and the Phantom were soulmates and that she herself would pick the Phantom, yet in Phantom itself she came off weary and exhausted by the Phantom and pretty willing to leave him. However, given the number of years that have passed between her run in Phantom and then in LND, it could be that she changed her mind over time or after doing the sequel.

Similarly, Trista Moldovan when talking to a fan said that she too thought that the Phantom and Christine should get together, despite the fan (and me) thinking that her Christine just acted terrified of the Phantom the entire time and was completely willing to flee the lair with Raoul. Then again, this was before she was with Hugh Panaro's Phantom, where Moldovan was possibly the horniest Christine to ever horny, so maybe she was still figuring things out.

And then (I'm on a roll), you have the opposite case, such as Anna O'Byrne who was in Love Never Dies and you'd expect her to pick the Phantom given what goes down in the sequel, but in this interview, she says that in Christine's position she would pick Raoul, that she felt Raoul and Christine were still in love throughout LND, and generally going on way more about how Raoul and Christine have an enduring and wonderful love and spending rather less time talking about the Phantom and Christine's relationship. Arguably this comes across in O'Byrne's performance in Phantom and LND, where I had the feeling that her Christine would not have stayed with the Phantom and only did because... plot, I guess.

And meanwhile, Gina Beck is at the top of the list of Christines who'd return to the Phantom, but in this interview she specifically says that at the end, Christine knows her place is not with the Phantom, and in this one she feels that at the end, Christine only has pity for him. And then you've got the case of Katie Knight Adams, who was supposedly very cold towards the Phantom in her first run, but in the second was over-the-top enthralled with him. So you get some interesting, dissonant cases!

Anyway, rambling aside... I suppose if we just disregard interviews, then yes, Sierra Boggess would be one (definitely if it were Ramin Karimloo's Phantom, definitely not if it were Brent Barrett or Hugh Panaro's Phantom, and Norm Lewis is up in the air), Gina Beck is another, and also probably Dale Kristien (probably one of the earliest Christines to express sympathy for the Phantom), Elizabeth Southard (good chemistry with Raoul aside, it's clear her deepest feelings lie with the Phantom), Maike Switzer (she gave him a third kiss! She's totally coming back), and Elena Bahtiyarova (because she's a Sierra Boggess clone).

[byorder-fanfic]

A Ghost Walked Through the Door

Summary: Anna Gray has been looking for her brother for a very long time.

Word count: 2637

Warnings: Mention of foster care and children taken from parents, swearing, implies abuse from Church (nothing explicit) and implies homelessness/ rough childhood.

Author’s Note: In the show, Anna’s age is all over the place so I’ve decided that she is a year older than Michael (born in 1902) because I really like the older sister dynamic. Hope you enjoy xx

Anna stood outside the wooden gate, staring into the typical country garden: green grass (that surely would've been vivid in any other season but the grey winter) that stretched as far as she could see, and slap bang in the middle of it all was the little brick cottage. The fire was lit. Perhaps he was there, the person she had been searching for as long as she escaped the boat. Perhaps this was it- the day she found herself. Her shaking hands did not reach to open up the gate. Not yet. The rusted old car of Jack Low's had clunked its way down the dirt road many minutes ago, leaving behind a trail of smoke and her. She was lucky she had found someone to drive all the way to the front gate, and Jack was quite kinder than she'd expected when she saw the white-haired bloke. It was because of the fur lining her throat and wrists, the newly gained winter's coat showing off a majesty of wealth she did not have. If Jack had noticed the thick chunk of mud clinging to the bottom of her leather boots, or had he clued on to her makeup less face behind her slick bob and fringe, or even saw the dimness of the plastic beads as she rolled them between her calloused fingers, he hadn't asked. Thankfully. Maybe Michael would- he'd probably be impressed with her finery, especially if the farm life was all he knew, and then he'd probably be a bit disappointed with how she acquired each luxurious item.  Finally, her hand (pale and shaking with more than nerves- why hadn't she taken Alberta's gloves that she'd had her eye on?) pried open the gate with a creak, as she walked into the garden. The sound of her quickening breath thrummed in her ears as she kept on going, heels clacking and tangling in the field. She made it to the door. Laughter boomed inside- could it be Michael's? Eagerness overcame her as she rapped on the door, politeness replaced with loud booming knocks that scraped her already bruised knuckles. The voices quieted, a quick "I'll get it!" from a woman. Michael's foster mother, perhaps, would she let Anna see him? The weight of a knife in her pocket proved that hypothetical pointless. Heels tapped closer. And closer. And- the door swung open, Anna's heart nearly burst. She was a portly woman, a warm smile on her face as she observed the girl with evident surprise. "Hello there, can I help you?" She asked kindly, hand still on the door frame. "Yes, please." Her eyes flickered behind her, where photos lined the walls, but she couldn't make out the one face she needed. "Are you Mrs James?" She nodded, yes she was. Another breath fell from her, a smile curling on her lips. The nun hadn't lied, then. "I'm looking for Mich- Henry, I mean. Henry Johnson. Your son, I believe." The other name still seemed so wrong on her tongue. Mrs Johnson's face fell, sadness and suspicion souring the woman's once kind expression. "It's Michael Gray now," she spat out. "Those Shelby bastards took him back to Birmingham with them." Anna breathed in deeply- her entire family was reconciled, all but her. Surely, if they found Michael, that meant they knew about the documents. Fuck. "When was this?" Her voice was meek. Maybe she could stop any real damage before it was done, stop Michael and her mother from mourning a girl still alive. "Two years ago," she said in a solemn voice, her eyes growing glassy. "Why?" "I'm Anna Gray," she stuck out her hand. Mrs Johnson hesitantly accepted it, eyes wide again in shock. "I'm looking for my brother." "Don't." She shook her head. "Those Shelbys are the devils, dragging my boy," she paused, "my Henry, into their Peaky Blinders nonsense. Your Michael...he isn't that boy any more." "He's my brother," she said, trying not to feel too offended at the disgust directed at her cousins. "He's all I have." "Very well," Mrs Johnson conceded, although obviously still disapproving from the look in her eyes. Motherly, Anna would call it, if she even remembered what having a mother was like. "They live in Watery Lane, Small Heath. Everyone there knows them, so just ask for directions." "Thank you!" Without entirely thinking it through, Anna pulled the older woman into a quick hug, pulling away when she felt her tense. "And thank you for looking after my brother all these years. It's good to know he had a good woman taking care of him." She couldn't call Mrs Johnson a mother, although she knew from the grief in her tone and photographs still hung up, that she was exactly that. But her mother was still alive- her loyalty was to Elizabeth Gray, first and foremost, even if she felt pity for this woman here. Just as Mrs Johnson had said, directions to the Shelby's betting shop (now Shelby Company Limited, she was impressed to hear) were easy to come by. Although she was getting odd looks from the men in uniform caps and coats, who were obviously comparing her clothes with that of most Small Heath citizens. Her years of searching were finally over and yet she couldn't find herself to knock on the bloody door. Or even walk down the bloody street. She loitered around the Church, not daring to go in, but not straying from its sight. The rosary in her pocket was wrapped loosely around her battered fist, as she uttered a silent prayer. The nuns and priests from the orphanage had jaded her to all things Christian, but this was a gift from Peggy. The good Catholic girl that took one look at the girl on the streets and decided to befriend her. Well, friend wasn't exactly the right word. She felt a burst of courage at the feeling of the wooden beads now, the crucifix hanging on the end of it no longer bringing vomit up her throat. "Oi, you there!" She jumped at the accent. It wasn't Brummie, sounding closer to Isabela's voice: another girl that friend wasn't the right word for. She looked at the boy, who was lighter skinned that Isabela, and wore the same cap and coat of many men in Small Heath. However, he himself couldn't have been older than Anna. "You coming in, or am I allowed to lock up?" "I'm just leaving," she said. Her voice wasn't from Burmingham either, immediately making the other boys eyebrow to shoot up in suspicion. She didn't really have an accent, just a blend of all the places she'd been and all the people she'd ran from. Despite her statement, her shoes stayed firmly on the path. Michael and mum were just a walk away, and she was stuck outside the Church as the boy faffed with the keys.  "So," he came up behind her, tilting his head. "Just leaving anytime soon, or...?" He had a smirk on his face and a teasing glint in his eyes, that immediately took in her appearance with curiosity, stopping at the rosary. "Just getting courage," she held up the beads before putting them back in her pocket, tapping over it to make sure it was safely in. "Whatdya need courage for?" He asked as he lit up a cigarette, standing stationary besides her. "Need to get to the Shelby betting shop," she shrugged her shoulders, hoping that'd get Church boy to stop asking. She hadn't missed the almost fearful nature her family was spoken in. But not Michael, of course- her Michael wasn't a Shelby. "Oh, really?" The boy put the smoking cigarette in the corner of his smirk. "Cause I'm just going there." She groaned internally, knowing this meant she actually had to go. "Alright," she snapped. "Could you show me the way?" "Course," he held out his elbow like he was a gentleman. Anna didn't stop her self from rolling her eyes as she took it, with only a little smile. "I'm Isaiah Jesus, by the way." "I'm Sally." Only the nuns ever called her that, in an attempt to pacify the girl screaming for her mother. Everyone else called her Anna, and Sallyanna if she was in trouble. "No last name?" "You'll find that out soon enough." For someone who seemed so talkative, Isaiah sure knew when to shut up. "Alright, Ms No Last Name," Isaiah teased as he held open the door, gesturing for her to go inside. "Here we are: Shelby Company Limited's very own betting shop." She was slow as she walked in, head turning to the pale pink wallpaper and the floral sofa. A cross hung up on the wall, alongside a number of Biblical quotes. There was a double set of doors, painted green, that were thrown open. Inside, a crowd of men and woman sat as numbers were called out, typewriters clicking and Peaky Blinders smoking. Isaiah walked past the frozen Anna, welcoming into the shop with cheers of greetings. "Hey there Isaiah!" One boy yelled. He was round faced and freckled, taller than everyone else and skinny as Anna was behind her thick coat. "Who's that you got with you?" "Sally here wanted to come to the betting shop." Isaiah gave a shrug, revealing that was all he knew, as he sat on his desk. Three men looked up from the table: one looked a lot like the skinny boy that had noticed her, but older. Not Michael. The other was broad shouldered and intimidating, with a moustache. Not Michael. The third man had hair as dark as Anna's, with the bluest eyes. But Michael had brown hair, and hazel eyes.  "And why do you want to be here?" The blue eyes man questioned, voice cold. She recognised the three vaguely, mind scanning for facts she once knew as well as the sky was blue. "Tommy?" She asked, eyes squinting, then she pointed to the other two. "And you must be Arthur and John, then." She didn't heed the curious glances as she stepped further in, head turning around to the people staring at her. "Finn, I'm gonna guess, although I never really knew you." The freckled boy had a shocked look on his face, as he turned to Isaiah in a "who the fuck is this" kind of look. "So, where's Michael?" Her voice was stern as she looked around again for the brown hair she only barely remembered.  "And why the fuck do ya wanna know that?" John, Anna thinks, stood up, arms folded as he watched her scan the room. "I've been looking for him for fourteen bloody years," she cocked her head, seeing a light flicker in the blue eyes of her cousin. "Now tell me where the fuck Michael is." Suddenly, a door opened, two sets of shoes walking through as they muttered to one another.  "Mum, there's abso-fucking-loutely no way I'm gonna do that," a voice said as he walked into the betting shop. The round face she remembered had sharpened out, his skin tanned (probably from the farm) in ways she knew her pale skin would've had she gotten onto that boat. His mousy brown hair was tidily gelled up, a smart suit on his broad build. He didn't walk in it like he stole it, she noticed proudly. His hazel eyes widened as he looked at her. The woman at his side was frozen too, watching the betting shop's sudden pause. "Who is this?" The woman snapped, dark eyes falling on Anna. She had the same dark hair, although hers was longer and in curls, and their eyes were just the same. No one could answer for her, and she seemed too absorbed in the two figures in front of her to bother with formalities.  "Anna," Michael's voice was barely a whisper, but is shattered everyone. Next to him, Polly trembled, pale skin suddenly whitening as she started to draw the same comparisons to the baby she had held what felt like a life time ago. "Hiya Mikey," Anna said in the same soft voice she'd use when they were little. She opened up her arms. "You too old to hug your big sister or what?" In a second, her brother fell into her, arms wrapped so tightly around her torso that she thought she was going to suffocate. If the fur on her coat was itching his face, he didn't seem to mind as he pressed his face against her neck, tears spilling from both of them. "I missed you so fucking much," she croaked into his ear, not daring to look up to her mother's broken face, or her cousin's undoubtedly confused faces. "I thought you were dead." Michael sobbed a little, pulling her closer as if to check she was real and not just the ghost Polly used to have nightmares about. "They said you were dead, gone to fucking Australia so I couldn't even see you." "I didn't even get on the boat, Mike. Couldn't leave. Not with you in England." They finally broke away, as Anna allowed her rough hands to wipe away the tears on her little brother's face (not so little anymore) and giving the biggest smile she'd ever worn for the longest time. "Been looking for you for years, been from orphanage to orphanage trying to find Michael Gray. Turns out that wasn't even your fucking name." "You were looking for me?" Michael's voice was an echo, sadder and on the verge of more tears spilling. "Course. Wanted to find you so we could come back home together." She took a dramatic turn of her head, grinning. "Although you didn't seem to share that sentiment, huh?" He tried to chuckle a little, shyly wiping off tears and snot with the sleeve of his probably expensive suit. "Went all the way to the fucking countryside only to be told that I had to go all the way back to Small Heath. Honestly, couldn't have waited a few years for me?" Her teasing tone was second nature, a whisper of the what was. "Bus fare wasn't cheap, you know?" Not that she used the bus. Or paid, with her own money at least. Still, it got another smile on his face as he hugged her again, letting her breathe this time. "Anna?"  The broken voice was enough to get Michael to back away, falling by his sister's side to allow Polly a proper view of the much longed for daughter. "No, it can't be, I thought- they said...but...you were alive this whole time?" She barely whispered, shaking the dark locks of curls with her head. She took a few strides forward, lifting her hand. Despite the great comfort she felt in the woman's presence, she flinched at the sight of the manicured nails being bared. Ever so gently, Polly placed her hand (too cold for comfort, but Anna had felt colder) against Anna's cheek. Bringing another hand slowly up to pull back the dark fringe that covered her forehead. Like this, she could see her wide eyes that had once looked so big on her bald head, the little pout that would tremble when John took her toys, the curves of her face that were so like Michael's, and her dark eyes that could only be Polly's. "My girl, my Sallyanna." "Mum," Anna smiled as she fell into her embrace, letting the woman hold her like she should've done for the last fifteen years. There was no tears this time, just soft smiles and tight arms clinging to each other like she had done when the coppers came knocking. Only she was grown now, and she wouldn't let them take her from her family ever again.

[randomfandom815]

For your Fic MoodTM: what is your favourite scene you've written?

Um... I wouldn't say I have a favorite scene, per se, but here's a scene from Oceanic Legacies (my post-canon fic), that was really fun to write:

Anna still couldn’t believe she had volunteered to defend the light.

She didn’t even know what the light was. All she knew was that Elizabeth stepped up, and she decided to as well.

You’re an idiot, she thought to herself.

“I think we’re almost there,” Elizabeth said, looking at the map Hurley had hastily drawn. It wasn’t very good, but it got the job done.

“That would be embarrassing,” Anna commented. “You know, if we can’t find it.” Elizabeth laughed. Anna was suddenly glad that she had dark skin, so that Elizabeth couldn’t see her blush.

Get a grip, she thought. You’re about to guard a magic light to save the world, or something. You don’t have time for this.

She didn’t listen to herself.

“Here it is,” Elizabeth whispered, stopping in front of a large group of vines. She was clearly hesitating. Anna couldn’t really blame her. She had only known about the light for a few hours and was already intimidated, and Elizabeth had been hearing about it her whole life.

Sensing that Elizabeth didn’t want to take the first step, Anna walked forward, right to the fabled light.

And oh, what a sight it was.

Anna nearly fainted when she saw the golden radiance that was the light, the sheer power that washed over her like a wave in the ocean. She sucked in a deep breath, her eyes fixated on it.

“It’s beautiful,” Elizabeth whispered from behind her. Anna could only nod in agreement as she walked closer to it.

“Stop!” Elizabeth suddenly shrieked. She did so, whirling around to face the woman. “We can’t get too close to it, we don’t have any resistance to electromagnetism. Locke did that and, well, you know what happened to him.”

Anna gulped and took many steps back. The most beautiful things were always the most dangerous.

For the next few minutes, the two of them set up their weapons and supplies, and they each took a post near the water, not daring to get any closer than they already were.

“I don’t think he’ll come here,” Elizabeth said. “Obviously we should protect it, just in case, but destroying it is what got him killed the last time. Well, we thought it got him killed.”

“Unless he’s an idiot,” Anna pointed out. Elizabeth laughed again, a beautiful sound, in Anna’s opinion.

“You’re pretty funny, you know,” She said. Anna only smiled, having never really been good with compliments directed her way.

“Nah,” She replied. “Maybe you just really have a bad sense of humor.” She immediately regretted the words, but, to her surprise, Elizabeth chuckled.

They sat in silence for a few more minutes, neither of them knowing what to say. There was so much to talk about and yet nothing at the same time.

What if I die?

That thought chilled Anna to the bone. It was entirely possible, of course. While she hadn’t willingly been in a plane crash, she had thrown herself into that situation. She could have gone to the plane, but she stayed to fight.

She just hoped that she wouldn’t pay with her life.

Anna rubbed her hand along her prosthetic arm, a habit she had developed a while ago. Doing that made something else occur to her: on the island, not nearly as many people stared at her arm, stared at her as if she was some fragile glass sculpture. She had never been among so many able-bodied people who just treated her…. normally. Not until she came to the island.

It made her feel human. It made her feel real.

Maybe that was why she said what she did next.

“Can I kiss you?”

Anna clapped her hand over her mouth, mortified by what she just said. Did she seriously just ask Elizabeth that? She couldn’t believe herself!

The woman in question was gaping at her, although Anna couldn’t tell what she was thinking. Was she disgusted? Horrified?

“I- I’m sorry… you don’t have to”

Elizabeth cut off Anna’s frantic apologizing by pulling her in close and kissing her. Time seemed to slow, the only thing mattering was Elizabeth’s hand in her hair, her mouth on Anna’s…

It seemed like hours before they broke apart, when in reality it only lasted a few seconds. But Anna still found herself wishing it could last forever.

“If- no, when,” Elizabeth began. “When we get off this island… do you want to, maybe… go out sometime?”

Anna froze for a moment before nodding faster than she had ever done, still inches away from Elizabeth.

“I would love that.”

[livia-dovehallow]

Little Ella Herondale’s Adventures

a sort-of spin off of my “of great use” series for @lucieblckthorn!! hope you enjoy!!

1905

Elizabeth Herondale was two years old when she saw the training room for the first time.

Granted, no one had brought her there to see it. Ella simply followed the sound of clanging metal, intrigued, until she waddled through the doorway and giggled at the sight of her sister. Lucie, who until that point had nearly beaten their cousin Christopher in sparring, dropped her short sword. “Ella!” she shouted. She rushed over and lifted Ella off the ground and immediately away from the walls lined with a variety of sharp, dangerous objects. Lucie huffed and stepped into the hall. “Papa!”

Will Herondale sauntered into the hall from the library, his nose stuck in a book. “Yes, Lulu?”

Lucie cleared her throat, which prompted her father to look up at her. He smiled, guilty, when he saw Ella in her arms. Lucie raised her eyebrow. “I know it has been a while since you’ve had a toddler, Papa,” Lucie scolded. “But letting them wander about the Institute where there are sharp objects and stairs about is particularly frowned upon.”

Will walked over quickly and took Ella from Lucie. Ella frowned at her father and attempted to lean back out of his arms. “Lucie!” she called. “I want Lucie!”

“Your sister is busy, Ella,” Will cooed, wrangling her. He looked up at his elder daughter, who still had her scolding face on. She looked so very much like her mother, then. “Why don’t we go see if there are still lemon tarts in the kitchen, hm?”

Christopher burst into the hall. “There are lemon tarts?”

Lucie groaned. That was the end of training that day, and Ella got to stay with Lucie after all.

1906

When Elizabeth Herondale was three years old, her brother James took her to Hyde Park.

She squirmed in his arms, pouting, until he relented and let her down onto the grass. “Don’t run from me Ella,” he said gently. “Stay close.”

Ella immediately ran off, toward the bustling crowd of children playing in the large field of grass. She’d never seen so many children her age before. Her cousin Alex decided he was too old to play with her anymore. Before she could reach the crowd, James hauled her back up into his arms. “What did I say?” he asked, though he sounded more concerned than angry. Ella blinked at him, her wide pale eyes she shared with Lucie visibly weakening James’s resolve. “I cannot glamour you,” he sighed. “So, we must be careful, okay?”

A laugh sounded behind them, and Ella leaned over her brother’s shoulder to find the source. Cordelia stood with an amused smile. “A true Herondale,” she teased.

James turned and smiled. Ella waved her small hand at Cordelia, and the other girl waved back. “Daisy,” Ella giggled. “I want to play.”

Cordelia placed her hand softly on James’s cheek. “Let her play,” she said to him softly. “Ella has no Marks. She will not draw unwanted attention.”

James frowned. “But we have Marks. We can’t glamour because Ella can’t glamour, and I suspect that a lonely toddler in the middle of Hyde Park would draw unwanted attention.”

Cordelia rolled her eyes and opened her arms. Ella threw herself at her out of James’s grip, prompting a startled shout from him. “I will take her to play, then,” Cordelia said. “And you may sit here, sulking, if you so desire.”

Ella squealed as she buzzed across the grass with the other children. Every so often she would catch her brother frowning at her, but then Daisy would say something, and her brother would be happy again. She never understood why James kept touching Daisy’s tummy. Maybe she was hungry.

London Institute Fall 1906

Three-year-old Ella stumbled over to the dining room table and pulled at the loose tassels of the cloth that hung over the edges. Lucie, who had been looking through various samples of desserts, grabbed the plates before they went flying.

“Troublemaker,” she mumbled. Ella grinned at her.

“She is too much like your Aunt Cecily,” Will observed calmly from the other side of the table. “Always looking for trouble.”

Tessa raised an eyebrow. “You don’t take any responsibility for that?”

“None at all,” Will declared. Ella laughed and ran from Lucie, who looked like she was about to become the tickle monster, and Ella did not like to be tickled by anyone other than her papa.

The room was adorned in gold, and Ella was particularly interested in the treats just out of her reach from her spot in her father’s lap. Will quickly grabbed a biscuit from one of the plates while her mother was not looking and put it in Ella’s hand. “Shh,” he said, with a mischievous sparkle in his eye.

“Lucie, Aunt Sophie says your dress is ready upstairs. Come along to see if it fits properly,” Tessa said with a bright smile. Lucie’s face brightened and she scrambled up from her seat.

“Ella, do you want to see my dress?” Lucie asked, holding her hand out for her young sister. Ella stared back skeptically.

“Is it shiny?” she asked. Ella did love shiny things. It was also why her mother had the weapons in the training room moved higher on the wall—again.

“Very shiny,” Lucie answered with a nod. “And you get one, too.”

That was enough for Ella. She slipped down off of her father’s lap and grabbed Lucie’s hand, following her and their mother up the stairs. .

“Lucie, you are pretty!” Ella yelled as Lucie emerged from behind the curtain in her gold dress. Lucie smiled brightly at Ella, then turned toward their mother and the rest of the family.

Aunt Sophie beamed. “Oh, I knew it would fit.”

Aunt Cecy and Cousin Anna nodded approvingly. Ella was rather fascinated by the blue waistcoat Anna was wearing but remembered the last time she tried to touch the fabric with her grubby, muddy hands after playing in the garden and decided that the scary look Anna gave her meant no more touching waistcoats.

Daisy emerged from behind Lucie, with Tessa, looking proud. “The future Mrs. Blackthorn, everyone,” she declared. Ella did not know what that meant, but her sister looked very happy, so she was very happy, too.

Ella stood and walked over to Lucie. She knew better than to tug on the shiny dress, but Lucie looked down, so there was no need to fight for attention anyway. “Ella,” her mother said, interrupting Ella’s thoughts—she was going to say something to her sister, but now she forgot. She turned to her mother with a confused face. “Are you excited for the wedding?”

Ella stared blankly. She did not know what a wedding was.

The women laughed. Aunt Cecy lifted Ella into her arms and poked her nose. “Do you remember Jesse?”

Ella grinned and nodded. She did remember Jesse. He had dark hair, like her, and he never said no when she asked him to go on an adventure in the garden with her. She liked Jesse.

“Well, your sister is marrying him, which means he will be your brother, too.”

Ella’s face returned to confusion. “Jamie my brother,” she said.

There was another wave of laughs, and Ella scowled. She did not like being laughed at. But Aunt Cecy smiled kindly. “Yes, he is. But Jesse will be, too. It will make sense when you are older.”

Older. Ella did not like that word.

There was a knock at the door, and Ella heard her papa’s voice. “Am I permitted to enter?”

A chorus of no’s rang out, but Ella shouted happily, “Papa!”

“You know the rules, Will,” her mother called through the closed door. “And don’t think we don’t know that James and Jesse are with you. We can see your shadows under the door.”

“How did you know it was me?” James answered. “I could have been Matthew, or Kit, or Thomas. Maybe I’m Uncle Gabriel.”

“Your Uncle Gabriel is in Idris with Uncle Gideon,” Aunt Cecy called. “But nice try.”

There was poorly-stifled laughter from the hall. “All right,” Will called, defeated. “But we’ve come to tell you that there may no longer be any desserts in the dining room when you return.”

Ella was sad about that.

@tsccreatorsnet

[millie1536]

98, angst Anne ? Love your work Angel ! ❤

I’m so so so sorry this took so long. Life got in the way but I do plan on getting through all the prompts in my inbox.

Prompt: I’ve had enough.

“I’m leaving the show.” Anne suddenly announced at dinner one evening.

“What?”

“You can’t.”

“Why?”

Along with half a dozen other questions were hurled at her.

“I just can’t do it anymore.” She told them.

“Did something happen?” Anna asked.

“Did someone say something to you? Because I will beat the shit out of them if they did.” Bessie added.

“No. No one said anything. I just need a change, plus it’ll be nice to have more time with Izzy.” Anne did her best to sound convincing but Bessie didn’t buy it.

Truth be told someone had said something. In fact a lot of people had been saying a lot of things. Things like;

“I love the show but why is Anne so hyper all the time?” And, “ten quid says Boleyn has ADHD.”

Unsurprisingly it had only gotten worse since she had adopted Izzy. She didn’t talk about Izzy much on social media or in interviews but it was difficult to drop her daughter off at school without someone recognising her.

“Who thought is was a good idea to let Anne have a kid? She can barely keep herself alive.” And so on. She knew they were just strangers on the internet but it still hurt. The worst one was perhaps this, “Wait until the kid realises she just a replacement for Elizabeth.”

Anne felt sick reading that one. Is that really what people thought? Is that what Izzy would think?

“Anne?” Aragon asked one morning, sitting beside Anne in the backyard, “What made you want to leave the show?”

“I told you,” Anne huffed, “I’m ready for something new.”

“I know that’s what you said but-“

“You think I’m lying?” Anne finished.

“It’s just you always have so much fun out there.” Aragon reminded her.

“Yeah, because there’s nothing more fun than singing and dancing about my own death and there’s nothing better than watching my baby cousin relive a heap of trauma. So much fun.” Anne’s sarcasm was missing it’s usually light and humorous tone. Instead it was sharp and angry. Aragon sighed.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realise how much it got to you.”

“No, you didn’t, because I’m not allowed to let people know how much it fucking hurts.” Anne snapped before storming into the house.

Maybe they were right. Maybe she was too immature to raise a kid. Maybe Izzy would grow up to resent her. What if she already did?

“Annie,” Katherine said gently, snapping her cousin out of her thoughts, “Catherine told me what you said. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Don’t apologise,” Anne told her firmly, “You have every right to share your story and it’s not your fault that I find it hard to listen to.”

“Is that why you’re leaving?” Katherine asked, “because of me?”

“No. I’m leaving because it’s time for me to stop. I’ve told my story. I’ve dealt with it. I have nothing more to gain from the show.” Anne lied, though she hoped her cousin couldn’t tell.

Over the following days everyone attempted to convince Anne to stay but none succeeded. It wasn’t until two weeks later that Anne finally came clean.

“You want to know why I’m leaving?” She asked during yet another awkward dinner, “It’s because I’ve had enough. I’ve had enough of being the ditzy gremlin, I’ve had enough of people thinking I can’t look after myself and I’ve had enough of people saying I’m not responsible or mature enough to look after Izzy. I thought people would realise it was just a persona but they haven’t. I’ve gone from being an evil temptress to being an unfocused, hyper child in an adults body. I can’t do this anymore.” When Anne finished she was breathing heavily and Katherine noticed the subtle signs that her cousin was close to crying.

“None of us see you like that.” Jane eventually broke the stunned silence that had fallen over the room.

“We’ve seen how smart and witty you are. We know you’re not immature.” Anna added.

“But they don’t,” Anne’s voice cracked slightly, “I know we always talk about how it doesn’t matter anymore what other people think and maybe it doesn’t but just because I know it doesn’t matter doesn’t mean I believe it. The last time someone thought I wasn’t good enough I was killed. It’s not as easy as just accepting it and moving on.” Once again the room was silent.

“Come on,” Katherine said gently after a few moments, “Let’s go upstairs.” Gently she lead Anne up the stairs and into the their bedroom. Only for Anne to fall apart the moment the door was shut.

Back in the kitchen the atmosphere was heavy.

“Good thing Izzy’s with Maggie and Joan.” Bessie broke the silence.

“What do we do now?” Cathy asked.

“I don’t know.” Aragon sighed.

“There’s only one thing we can do,” Jane said, “Anne needs to do what feels right for her and we need to do what feels right for us.”

[rewolfaekilerom]

why reread books?

//NOTE: This was originally posted to Wordpress on 04.24.2021//

I didn’t write last week. Whoops. I could come up with an excuse, but I don’t need to. I spent 7 years in grad school, and some 17 years before that in regular school; this blog is my way of reconditioning myself to love writing for the sake of writing and not to write out of some obligation or feeling that I’m not doing enough.

I work 40 hours a week, and most of that’s with writing in some way, shape, or form. I’m doing plenty.

So, today’s post.

I started reading P. D. James’s Death Comes to Pemberley today. (I promise I’ll write about the Sookie Stackhouse series. I finished it last week and have so many thoughts, but I’m not quite ready to share them.)

The first few pages of Death Comes to Pemberley (this is about as far as I’ve made it) are a clever retelling of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, because that’s what James’s book is based on. I read Austen’s novel ages ago–probably as a teenage and probably next to a pool. I think I was made to get a PhD because one of the challenges I set myself one summer as a teenager was to read all of Austen’s novels. I think I got through most of them, but I don’t really remember. I was a bit of an oddball and a nerd. My dad and I would go to the public library every weekend, and I went through a phase where I’d take out a stack of poetry books just . . . to read in study hall. Like I said, weird kid. I thank my parents for indulging my love of books, even if it meant that I was an overgrown child in grad school for too many years and filled their lives with sympathy stress.

Anyway. I think I mentioned in my previous post that I like to reread books. What I mean by this is a few different things, actually–or, rather, this rereading can come in a few different forms.

I, of course, mean it in the straightforward sense. I’ve reread Rebecca many times, and I’ve reread Barbara Michaels’s oeuvre many, many more times than I’d ever be willing to admit.

But by “I like to reread books,” I also mean “I like to reread books–sometimes immediately after I’ve finished them.”

I’m definitely not proud of this, but I reread both the After series by Anna Todd–you know, the One Direction fanfic that’s actually a really gross (in every sense of that word) depiction of a tremendously abusive and toxic relationship–and the To All the Boys… series by Jenny Han immediately after I finished them. Ironically, I wouldn’t have ever picked either series up if it weren’t for a podcast I started with two friends that will likely never see the light of day. In any case, Han’s series is genuinely good; I relate to Lara Jean’s character in the sense that she’s quite similar to how I was as a teenager; there’s a comfort there that’s coupled with a forced humility–I like laughing at myself, even when someone else is also laughing at me. And Todd’s series is . . . trash, which is probably what makes it compelling. It’s not a series you read to feel good about yourself or other people; it’s a literary car wreck, something you want to look away from because it’s terrible and you know it’s bad for you, but you also feel some inexplicable compulsion to stare it directly in the eyes and engage.

For all my bravado, I’m usually pretty good at picking my battles and not engaging, but for whatever reason, I couldn’t help but engage (and reengage) with the After series. Maybe I’ll delve into that in another blog post, though I’m thinking that’ll have to be something akin to a therapist visit, and it’ll most certainly be something I’ll have to work through repeatedly.

The most straightforward reason I can give for why someone might immediately reread a book is that they feel like they devoured it too quickly the first time so they need to go back and pay closer attention. I’ve done this with a few mystery books–Tana French’s The Witch Elm, for instance–because I’ve finished the book feeling a bit like I didn’t read closely enough and so missed out on some of the author’s brilliance. I immediately begin rereading in hopes of really appreciating what the author has to say and how they’ve said it.

I might also immediately reread a book because I feel like the ending came too soon–like I maybe didn’t get to spend enough time with the characters or in their world, like maybe I’m not ready to leave that fictional universe or to let go of that story. I think this is fairly relatable. I’ve read heaps of tumblr posts and heard from many friends that sometimes finishing a book is a sad experience because, as with any ending, there’s a certain degree of mourning that has to happen for the thing that has been lost. In the case of finishing a book, you might feel compelled to mourn the loss of a particular experience, world, space, or set of characters. Those things still exist on the pages of the book–hey, we write about literature using the present tense because those things continue to exist even after we’re finished with them–and they also exist in our minds. But the thing about finishing a book is that, though the memory of that reading experience stays with us, the experience of being guided through that fictional world ends. The author is, of course, our guide through their fictional world; when we finish a book, we lose that guide. Depending on how we feel about the author’s voice–or, perhaps more appropriately, the narrator–we may feel a greater or lesser sense of loss.

I don’t really Elizabeth Bowen’s or Alix Harrow’s writing styles (these are honestly the first two authors who came to mind; I know they’re very different–so, see, I’m well read!), so I don’t feel a great sense of loss when I leave their fictional worlds, however compelling they might be. But I do tend to like the types of narrators Emily St. John Mandel, Octavia Butler, or (the Janus-faced–multi-faced?) Carolyn Keene offer readers (again, it’s like I’m trying to pick completely unsuitable pairs, but I swear I’m not), so I feel a sense of loss when I’m forced to separate from those narrators because I’ve finished experiencing their physical manifestations–the bound collection of pages on which they live their finite lives.

Someone might argue that those narrators can live on in the reader’s mind just as the fictional world they inhabit gets taken up and finds new life in the reader’s imagination. I like that argument, but I think it overlooks the simple fact that the narrator’s voice isn’t all that matters here. That narrator is a puppet, and the author is the master puppeteer who directs what the narrator does, says, and conveys–that is, how the narrator guides us, the readers, through the story. So, again, when we finish a book, we lose our guide through–sometimes even our friend in–the fictional world.

To wax poetic for a second, when we finish a book, we get to move forward in time while the narrator is stuck back in time. There’s something so sad about leaving someone behind, and it’s especially sad when we have to leave someone in a not-so-pleasant world–even if it’s fictional. It’s the reason a story like Peter Pan is so sad–Peter is a nasty little tyrant, but we (or maybe just I) can’t help but feel bad for him because he’s left behind while everyone he loves and who loves him grows up, because that’s the natural course of action. As one of my grad school peers once pointed out, Barrie’s narrator begins the book by marking Peter as exceptional–as the exception–because he’s the only child who doesn’t grow up.

So, to get back to my point, when we reread a book, we’re trying to recapture and reunite with that guide, that friend, who we’ve had to leave behind because of the simple fact that we outlived them. After all, our lives continue to go on after theirs have ended. The operative word in that first sentence, though, is “try.” There’s a saying about how you can only experience something for the first time once, and I think that’s very true for reading a book. You can only be fully immersed in a narrator’s present moment and fully subject to the will of a narrator one time, and that’s the first time you go through their story with them. In every subsequent journey, you have the advantage (or disadvantage?) of knowing exactly where the story will take you, and so a bit of the mystery–or helplessness, or naiveté, or whatever–is gone.

That said, though, I’m not sure I’d go so far as to argue that you can only experience the story “as it’s truly designed to be experienced” one time–that first time. I’m sure this perspective has something to do with some deep-rooted prejudice I have against attributing meaning or intention to an author. I don’t want to probe that prejudice too much at the moment because I suspect it’s coupled with layers of anxieties that are all somehow connected to four years of graduate coursework spent feeling a bit like the dumbest person in the room.

I’ve read a lot of books (#humblebrag), so, naturally, I’ve read books in a lot of different environments, for a lot of different reasons, and in a lot of different states of mind. I like to think of myself as generally a pretty “good” reader–that is, in the sense that I’m able to appreciate stories for what they are and to suspend my disbelief, sometimes while a very distracting “real world” goes on around me. Again, that’s probably partially because of my training. I’ve read in silent libraries, backseats of cars and on crowded buses, at pools, in bed, in fields, at busy airports, in cabs, at bars and coffee shops, at house parties–and those are just physical places. I’ve also read in diverse situations, including while immensely happy, having just had a fight, while crying, because it’s assigned reading, while heartbroken, while trying to also keep a conversation going, during class, because this book reminds me of something else, while anxious, when very tired, during the middle of an argument, out of curiosity, while waiting, and the list goes on. The sheer volume of reading one has to complete (or at least try to complete) to keep up with a grad-level literature course means that one has to be okay with reading whenever and wherever. I’ve literally carried a book with me on a date and to the grocery story “just in case” I had some extra time.

To get closer to my point, this is all a very long way of saying that there are so many circumstances that can affect our reading experience that it’s impractical for an author or a reader to think that there’s only one way to read a story. Take a relatively broad circumstantial reading category like “beach reading.” There are so many different beach scenarios that an author–even one who’s willing to settle for a very broad interpretation of “beach reading” like “reading near a large body of water with some level of distractions but in a generally relaxed mood”–can’t attempt to predict. I’d honestly be surprised to hear that an author aiming to write “beach reading” would even try to get more specific than that. After all, we don’t really have categories like “tropical beach vacation with friends reading” or “rocky Maine beach on a solo vacation reading.” I doubt an author would attempt to get that specific because, after all, writing is a career and those who do it need to create a product that will be marketable to enough people to make it worthwhile and to secure a living. And for an author who isn’t writing professionally, it hardly seems worth it to even attempt to take the time to try to predict the circumstances that might surround their audience’s experiences with the finished story. There are simply too many variables, so the goal must be, to some degree, at least, to write a story that conveys something to someone in whatever circumstance they happen to be in at the moment they’re reading. That’s a monumental task. An author might, then, have an “ideal” reader in an “ideal” scenario or state of mind or whatever, but they can’t ever write to that “ideal” alone–and that’s even if they’re writing for themselves, since they don’t know what frame of mind they’ll be in when they experience the story again (unless, of course, they don’t intend to experience the story again, in which case nothing matters except the present, which is pretty interesting in itself but not what I’m talking about right now).

But something I’d also like to note is the simple fact that sometimes stories are better–more interesting, more effective, more whatever–the second time we read them. I’ve read books with perfect focus–in a quiet library, for instance–and not found them all that compelling; I’ve also gone back to those books later–once I’m in a slightly different place (mentally, physically, emotionally, without the pressure of reading for class, whatever)–and genuinely enjoyed them. I’ll readily admit that sometimes I’m just a better reader, and sometimes I’m a better reader of a particular type of book than I might be otherwise. As humans, we’re perpetually in flux. Books are more or less stationary objects that don’t really change. We’re what changes, so we might be in a better position to appreciate a book at one point in our lives than at another point.

So, I might reread a book to recapture that first reading experience. But I might also reread a book to have a different reading experience, to meet the narrator when I’m a slightly different person. My goal might be to relearn or refresh myself of the lessons I learned through reading that particular story, but it might also be to gauge how I’ve changed. Each time I reread a story, I have a different reading experience: I notice different things; I feel different feelings; I appreciate different characters or appreciate the same characters differently; I take away different ideas about my current world based on not only how my current world compares to the fictional world but also how my current world compares to the current (now past) world I lived in the previous time(s) I experienced the fictional world.

Oy, that was a lot. And I could complicate this all further by delving deeper into why we read at all–why we sign on to read a story, what we how to get out of the reading experience, and what reading actually does for us. But I already wrote a dissertation, so I’m not going to do that again. Also, we all read for different reasons and we each read different types of stories for different reasons, so there are so many variables that it’s hardly worth it to explore that topic in a really broad sense. Maybe a narrower sense would be more productive, but I’ve already written enough for today.

What I want to say is that I’m definitely not alone in rereading stories. There are ample reasons to reread stories, the most straightforward of which being that it can just be enjoyable to do.

And to think that this post grew out of the idle thought that I’d like to reread Pride and Prejudice. And I’m still only three pages into Death Comes to Pemberley! Well, okay, onward.

xoxo, you know.

[kristoffsloveisntfragile]

The Christmas Spirit

Rating: T

Word Count: 7,107

Pairing: Kristoff/Anna

Summary: Modern AU; It’s Christmas time and Anna and Kristoff are finally having their first Christmas together, at the Bjorgman house. This is the first time Anna really has met the whole family, in one place. Anxiety and a feeling of overwhelmed come over her, but that doesn’t stop her heart from being in love with his family. And that surely doesn’t stop Kristoff from still being in love with Anna.

Notes: IS CHRISMAS YALL!!! Hope you all enjoy! I’ve actually been working on this for literally 6 ish months, and I feel like it’s pretty perfect for how long I’ve been working on it. Again, hope you enjoy, and a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to yall!

It was the holiday season and Anna and Kristoff had been dating for almost two and a half years now. Anna lived a state away from her family so this year she decided that she would do something independent for the holidays. Maybe a year away from her family wouldn’t be so bad? It didn’t hit her until later that she really had no other plans. She had the Christmas tree set up in her apartment, of course helped by Kristoff. They set it up and that night they put on a Christmas movie and decorated the tree. Their hands full of glitter and eyes burnt out from staring at the lights on the tree for too long. That was fun, but Anna didn’t formally invite anyone to hang out with her for Christmas day, so she assumed she would spend the day alone, maybe Kristoff or Elsa popping in to say hello and maybe give a gift, if they had bought one. Anna couldn’t tell if it was the maturity making her not want gifts this year, or the fact that she was spending it alone was. Either way, she didn’t really mind it, a peaceful Christmas this year is what she needs. At least she thinks.

“So what are you exactly doing for Christmas?” Kristoff asks after he washed down his bagel with his coffee. They get breakfast together at a local coffee shop at least 3-4 times a week before work.

This perked up Anna, usually as they wait for their food they catch each other up and when they finally sit down to eat they plow it down, not really any talk to be had, they just want to fill up their stomach to get through the day so they can hopefully see each other after work.

“Oh, nothing. I think this year I’ll have a peaceful Christmas day to myself. I mean, if you want to come by and stay for a while, I wouldn’t mind.” She sipped her coffee as she finished her statement.

Kristoff was confused as ever, “A...peaceful...Christmas...day? Where is Anna and what have you done with her?” This made Anna smile. Yeah, she knew it wasn’t like her, but it was like this fresh wave of maturity was washing over her. “I’ve never heard you put those kinds of words together. You’re really not going to do anything on Christmas?”

“Well, Christmas doesn’t have to be chaotic. It is named ‘the most peaceful time of year’ for a reason.”

“Well, you’ve never been with my family around Christmas. We like to go all out.” Kristoff leaned back in his chair. Then got that look on his face, Anna knew that look, he was getting an idea.

“Hey, why don’t you come over with me to my parents for Christmas!” Kristoff looked excited.

“Really? Won’t like, all of your family be there? I’ve never really seen all of your siblings in person. Of course, except Roxanne.” Anna said.

Roxanne was the third oldest, behind Kristoff by 8 years, a senior in high school, smart kid, does well in school, but liked to kind of do whatever she wanted. So when Anna would have the occasional dinner with Kristoff’s parents, she would see Roxanne come out of her room with her car keys and say to her family “See ya, I’ll be back at midnight.” And her family wouldn’t really bat an eye, Kristoff would just say the usual, “Don’t do anything I haven’t done!” and continue the dinner conversation.

“Well yeah, so this time you’ll finally get to meet all of them. And probably some of my grandparents too. You’ve made quite the impression to my family.” Kristoff raised an eyebrow.

“You’ve talked about me?” Anna asked.

“Are you kidding? Of course I have. They all love you out of the description I tell them.”

Anna, now curious, leaned forward and said, “What do you say?”

Kristoff leaned forward too and said, “Well, I describe you as the perfect woman in the world. With the most amazing color of hair, paired with the most indescribable color of eyes that just somehow match,” Kristoff had taken her hand, and Anna sighed, loving what she’s hearing. “I think they think you’re smaller than I described but I can’t tell.” She laughs. “And...there’s just so much about you that I’ve described to them. Like all the sweet things we do that make me love you even more...like that thing we tried last month.”

Anna swiped her hand away and swatted at his shoulder, “I’m kidding!” He remarked. “Most of them don’t understand...you know.” Anna knew he was kidding. But still.

They ate most of the rest of their food, and Kristoff looked up and said, “Sooo.. was that a yes?”

“Hm?” Anna hummed with a mouth full of food.

“You know, my offer? You just kind of let the conversation drop after I said that my family loves you. So?” Kristoff crumpled up his bagel wrapper.

Anna had been thinking about it since the moment the words left his mouth. Her mind was already set on staying home and drinking all the hot chocolate she could and watching all the Christmas movies she had. But, it couldn’t hurt to change her plans, especially if it was for her boyfriend.

“You know what? Sure, I’d love to. Nothing I would rather do.” Anna said and wrapped up her garbage as well. They got up and threw their stuff away, stepped outside the coffee shop, pecked each other on the lips and went their separate ways to their work for the day.

~~~

A week later, it was Christmas. Dinner at the Bjorgman family was happening around 7, but since the family liked to spend time together, especially around the holidays, the “party” was happening all day. Kristoff was picking up Anna around 5 though. Anna was getting ready, not too dressy, but not too looking like she didn’t want to be there. A classic casual blouse, leather jacket, jeans, and knee high boots. She looked in the mirror and decided she needed some jewelry. Dainty bracelets and necklaces worked. She then saw her pajamas that were strone across her bed. Part of her wished she could change back into them and just curl up on the couch. But the fact that she was spending Christmas day with her boyfriend, who she loved very much, and is now meeting the rest of his family, she couldn’t be happier.

She waited in her living room for a text or call from Kristoff, and was watching ‘The Santa Clause 2’ with Tim Allen and Elizabeth Mitchell. It was nearing the end of the movie, it was her favorite part. When Santa, or Scott Calvin as his real name, finally gets back to the North Pole but before he makes his round to drop off gifts to every child in the world, he has to marry the one he loves. Although rushed, Anna loves how sincere they still were in their vows, and they weren’t just marrying each other because he needed to be Santa Claus. They had a real deep connection.

Her phone chimed and it got her out of her trance. The text read, “Outside babe.” She turned off her TV, and made sure everything was off and locked and met him outside in his car.

She hopped in the car with a big smile on her face, with a quick ‘hey’ and put her seatbelt on.

“My, my. Aren’t you a giddy one?” Kristoff remarked.

“What? I’m not allowed to be happy to be meeting the rest of my boyfriend’s family?” She leaned towards his face, expecting a kiss anytime soon.

“No, it’s just...I’m happy you’re happy.” He smiled and leaned in to kiss her. And then they drove off to the Bjorgman household.

~~~

They pulled up to the household and Anna saw all of the cars that filled up the driveway and even spilling out to the sidewalk.

‘Lot of people then..’ Anna thought, and bit her lip. She got out of the car and Kristoff was getting a couple things from the back, Anna went around to see if he needed help.

“I think I’m good…” Kristoff said with his hands full of presents. “Oh, wait, can you grab those little boxes? On the floor?” Anna did as she was asked, and then shut the car door. 

“So like, are all of these for the kids?” Anna asked as they were walking towards the house.

“Yep, just a little warning, I think there are more kids than you’ve imagined. Yes I have my younger siblings, but my aunts and uncles also have kids and they’re here too.”

“Wow...seems like the Bjorgman’s are...busy.”

“Ohhhh, yeah” Kristoff stretched out, laughing at the end of it, so did Anna. “Oh, since this was kind of last minute, I did put your name on the “From:” part of the tag on the presents, so people would think that you were, you know, nice enough to think of the kids.”

“Hey, I would’ve gotten stuff if you had said something. It completely slipped my mind to get stuff for them...but thank you for doing that anyway.” Anna giggled.

As they approached the door, Kristoff warned Anna about the second step, as it always seems to get slippery every year. Anna then rang the doorbell, but not long after someone was at the door. Bulda, with a very big smile and 3 kids attached to her.

“Anna! Oh my dear it’s so good to see you!! I’m so glad you came!” She gave Anna a very big and tight hug. Then went to Kristoff and took the huge amount of presents out of his hands and went into the other room. It wasn’t long before his hands were full again with the kids that tagged along with Bulda.

“Hey guys, hey look, look. There’s someone I want you to meet. This is Anna.” He was crouched down to their level, but looking up at Anna. Anna then crouched down too.

“Nice to meet you guys. What’s all your names?” Anna asked.

“I’m Maxine.” Maxine said proudly.

“I’m Jake.” Jake said.

“I-I’m D-D-Daisy-y.” Daisy, the youngest, managed to get out.

“She’s just learning how to talk. But I’m so proud you know how to say your own name!” Kristoff looked at Daisy and hugged her as she giggled.

“You’re really pretty Anna.” Jake said.

“Oh! Why thank you.” Anna was flattered, since she knew that kids told the truth most of the time.

“Okay kids, go play, I think Uncle Mike has a game of musical chairs going for the younglings.” Bulda peaked their interest, and they all ran off towards a different part of the house. Anna and Kristoff got up to see Bulda again, and she was already going in for a hug with her son. “Hello dear so good to see you. Was the drive okay?”

“Ah, it was okay. As long as I had my girl along my side, it was never boring.” Kristoff remarked.

“Yes, while it was a good drive, it did seem long and I drank a whole bottle of water, so if you don’t mind I’m just gonna use the bathroom.” Anna excused herself.

“Oh by all means!” Bulda said as she took off.

Kristoff started walking towards all the people before he was pulled by the sleeve by his mother. 

“Well, is tonight the night?” She asked.

“Look, ma, I don’t know honestly. Yes, I very much want to do it, but I think she’s a little overwhelmed by all the people. We are a big family. If I’m going to do it tonight, I don’t think it’s going to be here.” Kristoff said, in a hushed tone.

“Okay, okay. I’m just so excited!” Bulda started to get worked up.

“Ok, shh, ma, you’re starting to jump, think about your ankle.” Bulda looked at it and brushed it off, and then Kristoff went back to what he was going to do, see the rest of his family.

~~~

A little time has passed, Anna met all the kids (she thinks- there’s just so many of them) and met and talked to a majority of the adults, with the same story of where she works and ‘why the hell do you like this troublemaker of a kid?’-Kristoff. 

She found herself with a small glass of champagne and was standing by the sink talking to Roxanne. She found a little comfort in talking to her. She wasn’t completely new to Anna, but there was still a lot they didn’t know about each other.

“So, anything new at school happening?” Anna asked

“Wow, what a new question everyone hasn’t asked me yet.” Roxanne joked, but there was a hint of truth behind it.

“Oh sorry, I mean no offense but what else is there to ask an 18 year old. It’s your senior year, you should be having fun, making memories. We all wanna hear about your experience, and be there for you during the big moments.”

“Yeah, well nothing is really happening, not until the new year hits anyways, all the interesting sports start in the spring, the musicals, testing, dances, etc.” 

“Yeah, I hear you. So there’s really nothing else going on for you?” 

Roxanne shook her head, “No, nothing much.” But she looked at her feet. Anna knew exactly what that meant, she even does it herself. She was hiding something.

“So there is something new.”

Looking up, Roxanne was kinda shocked, “How did you know?”

“I’m a girl just like you, the subtle hints you just gave, I’ve done them before. What’s up, you can trust me you know.”

Roxanne breathed in, and turned to really face Anna. “Well, it is my senior year, and..I’ve never really had a relationship.”

Anna knew exactly what she was getting into with this conversation. “Oh I see, and, is there someone you’re interested in?”

“Well, the thing is, I’m bi, so I’ve had crushes come and go. I’ll see someone who is interesting or cute, but I’ll get scared because, well if it’s a girl, what if they don’t have the same interests as me, and if it’s a guy, well...you know.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a whole ordeal. The only thing I can say, in your situation, it seems best for you to make a friend first, and then see if they would like to take things further. You shouldn’t have to feel like you’re rushed to find someone. When you know, you know.” Her gaze wandered over to Kristoff who wasn’t far from them.

“Is that how you felt with my brother?” Roxanne smiled.

“Oh yeah. I mean, before we started dating, you heard tale of me right?” Roxanne nodded. “So yeah, we met, became friends, and from there we found something. And look at us now.” Anna smiled. 

Roxanne looked down, still having a smile on her face. “Yeah, you guys do have something special. I feel like you’re the hot topic tonight to be honest.”

“Really? Me?” Anna asked.

“Oh yeah, are you kidding? Kristoff doesn’t stop talking about you when he’s over, the only time that does come to a halt is when you are over too for a dinner or something. But since everyone is here, I don’t know, I feel like you’re just an easy topic for Kristoff and the family to talk about.” Roxanne explained.

Kristoff came over and cut between them, as they were still at the sink. He rinsed a glass he had and set it in the sink, and while he was, he said, “Hey, my two favorite girls.” He stepped back and instinctively put his arm around Anna. “What are y’all talking about?”

“Oh nothing, just, girl stuff.” Anna said, looking up at him with admiration.

“Yep, so no boy can hear it.” Roxanne teased. 

“Ah, I see. Well, no matter, how are you enjoying the night?” Kristoff asked, but mostly to Anna.

“I’m doing fine, your family is really friendly, it’s nice knowing that I don’t have to put up a fake persona for them.” Anna said.

“Of course, our family loves people for who they are. Unless they’re clearly a douche.” He chuckled.

“Well, there is one person who puts on a “fake persona” once a year for the-” Roxanne started to say.

“Shhhhhhh” Kristoff cut her off.

“What? What are you talking about?” Anna was confused and curious.

“It’s nothing.”

“But you’ll find out later.” Roxanne whispered to Anna, all giddy.

Anna was still confused, but she trusted Roxanne’s word that she’ll find out later.

“We should head into the living room soon, the Yankee Swap will start soon and with how many people are here, there won’t be many seats that are on cushion.”

“Good call.” Roxanne said and started heading towards the living room. Anna and Kristoff soon  followed.

A few minutes later, Kristoff’s mom turned down the Christmas music, and got everyone into the room, she got the room to quiet down.

“Okay everyone time to start the swap! Now, I asked everyone to put all of the gifts in the other room, so Derek can you go get them?” Derek nodded and got up to go to the other room.

“Actually before we start I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” Kristoff said and got up.

“Okay, just so you know you might get a bad number for the picking!” Bulda joked.

Shortly after, Derek came back with a big bag full of the swap gifts. He started to take them out of the bag when Bulda started to explain what the rules were.

“So, the rules are simple. We are going to pick a number out of this hat,” She grabs a hat full of numbers. “And just go in order. You can pick any gift, and once you get it you open it. And if you’re in the later numbers and you pick a gift but you want something someone has who went before you, you have to battle them! That’s my twist to the game, to battle them, you must play a quick game of charades!!!” Everyone was either a little more intrigued, or groaned how boring they thought that game was.

“To actually win, if the person you want to battle doesn’t get your word or phrase or whatever it is, you can get their gift. But if the person gets the word right, they don��t give up the gift. Everyone got it?” Bulda finishes.

As she finishes, Derek is finishing up with placing the gifts near the tree. 

“Hmm, Derek are you sure that’s all the gifts?” Bulda puts on a voice. And loud enough for the next three rooms to hear.

“What do you mean? There’s more???” Jake asked with a lot of enthusiasm in his voice.

“Oh yes, I know there is. I wonder where they all went though…”

Just as Bulda says that, Anna hears Roxanne snicker. She’s again confused, but just then, she sees a big red blur come through the threshold. A big resounding “Ho Ho Ho!” followed. Anna knew immediately it was Kristoff, she couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Her boyfriend with a fat suit and probably a 3x large red, furry jacket. She started laughing with Roxanne, and most of the adults who also knew it was Kristoff. The kids on the other hand, lost their minds. As for them, Santa was in the house, the night before Christmas.

So many, “OH MY GOD IT’S SANTA!” and, “I CAN’T BELIEVE MY EYES” and just screaming for joy in general.

“Hello kids, yes it’s me Santa, I wanted to come by before I start my rounds and give you the first presents before any other kid in the world gets theirs.”

“Wow thanks Santa!” One of the kids said. 

Anna couldn’t help but laugh, as she had never heard the voice that Kristoff was putting on. But she held it in as best as she could, so she wouldn’t ruin it for the kids.

“Don’t worry, if you come back every year, you’ll be able to suppress the laugh. But it will still be hilarious, but you’ll be able to put on a fake ‘oh my God, wow’ smile.” Roxanne leaned over to Anna and whispered. 

“How long has he been doing this?” Anna asked.

“Since, he was like 16. He grew drastically like when he was 13 or 14. By 16 he was like 3 inches shorter than he is now. So he could pass for it. Our dad used to do this, but both he and Kristoff knew that at one point he was gonna have to stop at one point, so he took over. He loves doing it though.” Roxanne explained.

“Wow. He never said anything about it. And we know almost everything about each other.” Anna remarked.

“Maybe he wanted to surprise you.” Roxanne said.

They went back to watching Kristoff play Santa to his younger brothers and sisters, and some of his nieces and nephews. He really did look like he was enjoying it, bringing joy to them seemed to instantly put a smile on his face, and his soul. Anna loved seeing him so happy that he was making his family happy. 

“So here’s all the presents for you kids-” ‘Santa’ started to say,

“But, we’ll all have to wait for the Yankee Swap to be over, then you can open them. But for now, Santa has to go, say goodbye kids.” Bulda says.

All of the kids yelled “Goodbyee!!” and as Kristoff was kneeling to pull the gifts out of the bag he brought in, some kids ran over to hug him before he left.

“Okay children, I’ve really got to get back to the sleigh and start delivering the rest of the presents. Merry Christmas to all!”

“AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!” All of the kids screamed back. 

Anna thought to herself, besides Kristoff dressing up as Santa, that was also a tradition they had. She saw as he left, and all the kids were still buzzing about it.

“Okay, okay kids settle, if you wanna open your presents you gotta play this game first.” They all quieted down, but still a little joy left in their eyes.

As Bulda was going around the room letting people pick their numbers, Kristoff came back, and immediately the kids said “Kristoff you missed it! Santa was just here! Look at how many presents he gave us!”

“My Kristoff, you were in the bathroom for a long time that you missed Santa!” Bulda exaggerated. 

“Oh well, maybe next year I’ll catch him.” Kristoff said as he was heading back to his seat next to Anna.

“And who knows, maybe he’ll bring a certain Mrs-”

“Shhh.” Kristoff hissed at his mom. Bulda returned to passing out numbers. Kristoff had looked back to see if Anna had caught that, but he doesn’t think she did, because Anna couldn’t stop smiling at Kristoff, and he raised a brow and asked, “What?”

“Oh nothing, it was just really special seeing Santa here tonight.” Anna said through a smile.

“What are you talking about?” Kristoff smiled, playing along with the joke.

Anna laughed, “Nothing.” Neither one of them really knew what the context of that conversation was, but they were just both so happy with the buzz that they felt between them and the buzz that was in the room. Anna knew right then and there that she didn’t regret coming to the party tonight. Kristoff quickly kissed her cheek and returned to the game that was starting.

~~~

The game and the present opening seemed to happen so fast that it was all blurry to Anna. In a good way though, there was so much laughter from the charade portions, and all the jokes, and the kids, and the fact that she couldn’t get the image of ‘Santa Kris’ out of her head. They could all tell that the party was coming to an end. All the kids were asking where the desserts were, so they were occupied eating those, the adults were getting their kids presents or their own gifts they got, all packed up and ready to go to the car, and all the food was being portioned to be taken home, since there was way too much to keep at Buldas house. 

Anna was nursing another glass of champagne and talking to some of Kristoff’s relatives when Kristoff came over and, again, instinctively wrapped his arm around her.

“You ready to go babe?” 

“Aweeee, do we have to? It feels like we just got here 10 minutes ago!” Anna whined, but deep inside of her she wanted to go home and snuggle up next to Kristoff while watching more Christmas movies.

“Ah, we don’t wanna burden my mom by staying here.” Kristoff glanced over at his mom who was finishing up with giving some food to Kristoff’s cousin as they were leaving. His mom must’ve caught the end of that because she looked over and came over.

“Oh, are you guys leaving soon? I can pack up some stuff for ya if you want!” Bulda said.

“Thanks, but we won’t need a lot like your packing with everyone else-”

“Maybe just the desserts and some of the pasta would be good for us to take.” Anna finished Kristoff’s sentence, then laughed.

“Honestly, if you took as many desserts as you wanted there would still be enough for everyone else to take some home. I may have made a little too much for today.” Bulda exclaimed.

“No, no don’t worry, we’re more than happy to take those desserts off of your hands!” Anna laughed again, intending some kind of joke, but in actuality, she was eyeing the cheesecake she’s already had two big slices of.

“Oh then by all means, I’ll pack some stuff up for you.” Bulda turned around and went to work.

“You know I was trying to get her to not pack as much food for us to take home. She’s a busy woman enough as it is.” Kristoff said to Anna in a hushed voice.

“Well, it’s not like she’s complaining, I mean sure it is busy work, but it’s Christmas, is it really hard work if you enjoy it?” Anna questioned back. Kristoff gave her a look of defeat, but still worry behind his eyes. Anna knew what to do.

“I’ll go help her then, some one-on-one wouldn’t hurt our relationship right?” Anna handed her champagne to him and walked towards Bulda.

“Hey there, do you want some help packing up the food and stuff?” Anna asked.

“Oh, no, I wouldn’t wanna burden you by helping me.” Bulda brushed away Anna, but she wouldn’t back down.

“Oh come on, I insist. Plus, didn’t I hear something about your ankle? You could use a break, or at least some help.”

Bulda gave in, almost like she even forgot about her ankle hurting. “Oh sure, what’s the harm of you helping, right?” She laughed, “Just take some of these buckets, and follow me.” Anna did as she was told.

Anna followed her to the dining room where some of the food was kept, but mostly the desserts. 

“Wow, I honestly forgot how many there were.” Anna remarked.

“Yeah, like I said, I may have made too much. But I guess I say that every year, and everyone goes home happy. That’s what really matters to me.” Bulda said with a smile.

“That’s really sweet.” Anna said, her heart melting a bit at what Bulda just said.

They packed up some sweets while chit-chatting a bit, they eventually got the topic of Kristoff.

“Oh I couldn’t stop laughing when he came out.” Anna said.

“Oh, imagine me, the first time he did it after Pabbie stopped, I couldn’t stop laughing. It was just so funny seeing a 16 year-old do that.”

“Wow, he must’ve been really tall to pull that off.”

“Oh yeah, the summer before 9th grade, poof, grew a foot and became 6 ft. No idea what happened to this day. But it added to his character.”

“Oh yeah it did.” Anna laughed. “Probably one of the first thoughts that came across my mind when I first even glanced at him was ‘Wow look how tall he is.’ Of course, that’s coming from me, 5’2” here.” Anna laughed some more.

“Awe, well you two fit perfectly together. The height difference just makes it look even cuter.”

“Yeah..” Anna got lost in her thoughts for a second. 

“You two are really happy together.” Bulda admired Anna’s look of loss in thought.

“Oh yeah.” Anna blushed a little. After all she was still talking to Kristoff’s mother.

“You know, Kristoff told me…..Oh no, I shouldn’t tell you.” Bulda waved her hand and went back to finishing up all the packed up desserts.

“Oh well you gotta tell me now!” Anna laughed.

“No, no, I’m sure it’s gonna happen...soon?”

“What do you mean?” Anna asked, confused as ever.

Just then Kristoff poked his head in the dining room to say, “Hey, I just went to warm up the car, so whenever you’re ready.” He smiled.

“Oh we just finished dear, just a little catching up.” Bulda said. It wasn’t a lie, but Anna still felt there was something unsaid.

Bulda turned back to Anna and said, “Just, remember how happy you are with Kristoff.”

“Of course I won’t. I never will. But what did you mean-”

“I’ve said too much, if I say anymore Kristoff will kill me. Just, enjoy the rest of your night dear.” Bulda said, putting a hand on Anna’s arm.

Anna and Kristoff took all of the food that she really wanted, Kristoff and Anna said their goodbyes and gave their hugs to everyone who was left. They made it through the dropping temperatures outside into the warmed up car, and started their drive home.

But Anna couldn’t help but question what Bulda meant by “It’s gonna happen soon”. Anna couldn’t think of anything important coming up. With Christmas tomorrow, and New Years in about a week, there was nothing else of importance going on. She looked over to Kristoff and tried to think if there was anything coming up for him. She couldn’t.

Kristoff noticed she was staring. “What’s up babe?” His eyes went back to the road.

“Nothing, nothing, just….is there anything important coming up?”

“...You mean something other than Christmas?” He laughs at his own little joke. “No, why?”

Anna wanted to say because Bulda had said something was gonna happen, but then remembered her saying “If Kristoff found out he would kill me”. Is it something Anna is supposed to know, and he isn’t? Or the other way around?

“Oh, I don’t know, it just seems like there’s something I’m supposed to do. Maybe it’s something for work.” Anna said.

“Well, you got a whole week off, it can’t be that important.” Kristoff reached for Anna’s hand and stroked the back of her hand with his thumb mindlessly.

Anna smiled. Of course she lied about the thing being for work, but she decided maybe it was good to forget about it. Whatever the thing is Bulda talked about, it will happen when it happens.

~~~

After the long drive, they head to Anna’s place, they both take off their boots and sweaters, Anna takes off all the jewelry on her body, and heads to her room to put it all away, Kristoff not far behind her. 

Anna was standing in front of her vanity, sorting everything away when Kristoff slithers his arms around Anna and just hugs her. “Finally, no relatives or younger siblings to interrupt our alone time.”

Anna huffed and smiled. “Hmmm, I’ve been thinking about just coming back here and relaxing all night. Well, maybe not the whole night,” Anna turned around while still in his arms, “Tonight was pretty fun with your family.”

“I get it. Being there is fun, but sitting on the couch watching movies and drinking hot chocolate in the dark. Sounds exhilarating.” Kristoff smiled, then leaned in for a kiss.

Anna liked the idea of that, but she wanted to be comfortable. When they parted, she said “I like that, let me just go wash everything off.” She got out of his arms and headed to the bathroom.

She washed her makeup off, cleansed her face, brushed her teeth, and went back to her bedroom- which she had then found that Kristoff had changed out of his day clothes (she had some clothes that were Kristoff’s left behind here for nights like this), She switched to her pjs and found that Kristoff had everything set up for Anna to just snuggle in with Kristoff. The movie, the drinks, the blankets, the apartment just being lit by the very dim hallway light.

“Wow, how long was I in the bathroom?” Anna asked jokingly.

“You weren’t gone long, I just work very fast.” Kristoff said, inviting Anna onto the couch with his eyes, which she gladly accepted. Kristoff went ahead and put on The Santa Clause 2, the movie Anna was watching before she left. She didn’t say that out loud, she didn’t mind that she was watching this movie again. She was just happy Kristoff was around this time. 

~Near the end of the movie~

Anna’s body was practically glued against Kristoff’s, her ear hearing his heartbeat, and her upper body moving along with his breaths.

They got to the part that Anna was watching before Kristoff picked her up to go to the party. When Santa needs to marry Carol before taking off for the night. She just loved the scene. 

“You know before you came to pick me up I was watching this movie, really just having it in the background, and this is the scene that I saw right before you arrived.” Anna said. They always just said what was on their minds a lot of the time. 

“Hmm.” Kristoff hummed. Anna just thought that he was starting to fade because of the warm drinks, the dim lights. But really, Anna had no idea that he was just choked up on what he wanted to do next.

It was the scene where Mother Nature had pronounced them ‘Man and Wife’, they kissed, and Scott Calvin once again became the one and only Santa Claus.

Anna hummed against Kristoff’s chest, “Man I just love this movie.” Anna tried to snuggle deeper into Kristoff more. 

He laughed, “Yep. I would’ve enjoyed it a little more if I didn’t have to fricken pee in the second half,” Kristoff started to laugh, and Anna joined, but mostly started to get up so he could move. “But it was just too comfortable and relaxing that I could wait. But I’ll be back and we’ll put on the next one.” Kristoff pecked Anna on the lips and went to the bathroom. 

Anna was smiling. She just loved the nights like this. It doesn’t even have to be Christmas for them to have a night where they just watch movies and drink hot chocolate. It was just more special tonight because it was Christmas, and they were spending it together. 

Anna decided to just get the next movie going so that they can start when Kristoff comes back. She went to put their mugs in the kitchen, she didn’t think they were gonna have any more, so she just grabbed some water instead for both of them to have. By the time she gets back into the living room, Kristoff is coming out of the bathroom. 

Anna looks up and sees that he looks a little zoned out. Confused, she asks, “Everything okay? You seem a little...unfocused.”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, I was just thinking about somethings.” He said and sat down on the couch, not laying where he was before.

“What kinds of things?” Anna trying to lighten the mood, (she thinks that is what needed to be done) she leans closer to Kristoff, putting her hand near his chest.

“It’s just-- nah it’s stupid, forget about it.” Kristoff tries to laugh it off, but Anna won’t let go.

“Well obviously it’s something. C’mon, you can tell me anything.” Anna pleaded in her own cute way.

Kristoff was hesitant, looking back and forth between Anna and his hands. He took a deep breath as he was about to reveal what felt like a lot to him.

“Look, Anna, you know I love you, so very much,” Anna started to get nervous. Why would he be saying that now? “And, I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been thinking about the future.” Oh thank God.

“Really?” Anna couldn’t contain her grin. Just hearing the word “future” come out of his mouth, made her giddy. The fact that when he says it and she’s there with him in his mind's eye, made her happy.

“Yeah, but, lately, I just feel as though...I’m not...not good enough.” He struggled to get through the sentence, because while he did think it, it was hard to admit it out loud.

Anna was taken back from this. Her mind instantly flashed to all the times when Kristoff took care of Anna when she was sick, when she was having an anxiety attack, or when she even needed a hug or a kiss. And then she thought about all the times she saw him take care of her sister, Elsa. Sure, they weren’t super close, but if Elsa needed something and Kristoff could do it, he did it. Her mind flashed to all the memories of when Kristoff was there for his family, heck, some moments from the party flashed across her eyes. Anna was very confused and honestly a little hurt from thinking that Kristoff wasn’t good enough.

“What...the hell are you talking about?” Some seriousness in her voice, but she couldn’t help but have a bit of a smirk at the edge of her lip.

“Huh?” Kristoff was now confused.

“You think you’re not good enough? First of all, very vague, you’re good at your job, you’re good at being a boyfriend, you’re good at being a son, a brother, a cousin, hell even a damn human being. You are a good one- no! You’re a great human being Kristoff.” Anna was talking like a motivational speaker, and Kristoff couldn’t help but smile, from mostly being told that he was a great person. I mean, how would you react?

“Kristoff, I don’t know what thing you have going inside your head to make you think that you’re not good enough. Tonight alone showed how much you’re an amazing human being. If anyone ever tells you otherwise, point them in my direction….and I will gladly punch them in the face.” Kristoff officially laughed at that part.

“Well, okay, I don’t think we need to go that far-”

“No I’m serious!” Anna said, still with a smile on her face. “I will do it if anyone says that to you ever.”

Kristoff looked deep into her eyes. He could tell that she meant it. And forever will. “That’s so good to know.” Kristoff still had a look of nervousness. But he pushed it away with a smile, and lunged toward Anna for a kiss. She gladly accepted it.

She was about to fully be on top of Kristoff (to enjoy the moment even more), but Kristoff started to move away. Anna broke the kiss as she could start to tell what he was moving away.

“Wh-what are you….” Anna was confused as to where he was going, until she saw he wasn’t going far. He was on one knee, and slowly but surely pulled a ring from his pocket. “Woah, woah-” Anna suddenly lost her voice. She didn’t have the words.

“Anna, it’s so glad to hear you say that all about ‘how great a human being’ I am. But honestly, I’m the one who’s with an extraordinary human being.” Anna started to tear up. “I love you with all I am,” He opened up the box, “Will you marry me?”

Anna barely let a breath in between before she jumped onto him screaming, “YES! Yes, yes, yes, yes!” She felt him catch her as she was basically on the floor with him too. “Oh my gosh!” She pulled back, looked at him and couldn’t contain her excitement as she went to kiss him all over his face.

Kristoff couldn’t stop laughing out of happiness, and just let her excitement run wild. When she pulled back once again, he finally got a chance to get her left hand, and slip the ring on it.

“Oh my gosh, Kristoff it’s beautiful!” She said while admiring it. “This must’ve been a lot, how long have you been wanting to do this?” She asked.

“Well, the idea has been poking around for about a year and a couple months,” Anna breathed out a laugh. “But I didn’t officially buy the ring until like a month and a half ago.”

Then she put the pieces together. If he’s been wanting to do this for well over a year, he must’ve been telling his family he’s been wanting to. 

So that’s why earlier Bulda said ‘If I say anymore Kristoff will kill me’ Anna thought.

“...Did you tell your family about that? Because now that I think about it they’ve been dropping hints all night.”

“To be fair they’ve been dropping hints the whole time. Tonight was probably more than ever because I had said something about wanting to do it tonight, maybe even tomorrow.”

“Well, I’m very glad you did it tonight.” Anna wrapped her arms around Kristoff’s neck and went in for a long and heartwarming kiss. Anna felt his hands come up around her waist.

At one point they got back up on the couch, but it was all in the blur of kisses, hugs and snuggles. Putting on the next movie, that they barely paid attention to, tangled in each other's arms.

“Hey, when you said you were thinking about the future,” Anna heard Kristoff hum, “Were you...I don’t know...thinking about another family….one that….we can start?” Anna tried her best to turn her head to see Kristoff’s reaction.

His eyes were wide, but she could see that there was a hint of promise. “Hmmmm…..maybe we’ll talk about that in the New Year.” Kristoff smiled, but the thought definitely didn’t leave his mind for a while.

[enchanted--realm]

When Calls The Heart Live Rambles

S8 ep8 Parades and Charades (or something like that)

My gosh this episode is perhaps the best one we've had all season, and by that I just mean that Elizabeth actually had screen time, and she had actual lines, and she was part of plot that is relevant to h e r. Finally, the main character actually felt like the main character. HOWEVER, she is not very likeable in this episode, I must say (she hasn't been likeable for a while but you know)

The start of the episode when Elizabeth comes off her horse and she tries to talk to Nathan. I'm so glad that Nathan is firm even when Elizabeth doesnt like it. And he's not mean about it, he just tries to be honest while protecting himself and Allie from getting hurt even more. I honestly just love it when Elizabeth and Nathan have disagreements in general because when they do have arguments, it's usually because someone's feelings are showing and then it resolves in having made good progress in deepening their relationship. Elizabeth was totally out of line during that conversation btw. 'Now you're just being hurtful', um says the woman who rejected this man's love proposal and is now hurt that his niece didn't want to invite her to her very important and personal adoption ceremony...wow Elizabeth you really be asking for a lot. And then she's upset that he has to ride off to take care of mountie business. Yes, Elizabeth, this man has a job to do and your conversation will have to wait, sorry girlfriend.

When Nathan told Lucas to 'Save it' haha! Though I enjoyed it, I hope they don't write Lucas and Nathan to turn into enemies bc they are both pining for Elizabeth. It seems like it's headed in that direction based off of their dialogue throughout this episode. I guess it's understandable since Nathan has already been rejected and isn't backing down while Lucas and Elizabeth are a more official item. Okay, yeah, I understand it, but I don't want it to go too far *thinks back to the Lucas and Elizabeth in the rain scene* I guess I can't hope for that with this show. And later on when Lucas was talking to Nathan about how he should be thinking more of Allie and not getting her hurt. Ooooh I wanted to slap that fool. Who is he to be talking about Allie, he doesnt know anything about their relationship and he had no right to bring her up. Ugh that made me so angry.

Lucas's office. May I just say. Daaang. That's some nice, fancy office he's got there. Beautiful, absolutely beautiful. They were planning this reveal for a long time I bet to make Lucas look more attractive in this love triangle. And let me say, that first scene with Elizabeth in Lucas's office finally made me understand what Elizabeth see's in this guy. We were finally shown a glimpse into Lucas's daily life and how he handles business. Elizabeth comes in wanting to talk, but he has to be on the phone bc, ya know, the guy has to work, and we see him taking care of his responsibilities instead of pining over Elizabeth. Usually, in every scene that involves Elizabeth and Lucas, he's typically able to give her his full attention and the entire scene is about him wanting to win her favor. But finally we have a scene where he isn't just there to win her heart and he has to tell her, 'sorry, but can we do this later?' And bc of that the dinner invite didnt come across too forward and it made sense bc they had things to talk about. The scene just really built up a new side to Lucas's character that I felt we hadn't seen yet and that was lacking. He actually feels like a character with an independent purpose now. And of course I didn't forget. The French. Yeah it was both attractive and again added to Lucas's character. I'm sure the Lucas shippers are drooling right now. And on a more serious note, his French sounded very good and I actually just looked it up Chris McNally speaks French so...yeah very cool. But Elizabeth's French when she was saying goodbye at the door...oh how cringey. I mean she spoke well too, but it was just unnecessary and oh I cringed so hard when she did that.

When she went back to his office later...oh no. He said he didnt feel up to having dinner together, and then she still didnt leave him alone and was like, well I can stay and we can just talk. Um, no Elizabeth, the man just said he didnt want to talk right now, but I guess since it's not talking over dinner then it's okay??? And she patted the cushion for him to join her on that teeny tiny little bench. Yo, there was no room for two there. They were pressed up against each other so much it was so awkward to watch. I mean that was like being forced to sit in the two-seater bus seat when clearly there's only room for one. And then the hand hold...yuck, and the deep breath like they were both being tempted...eeh, and then he kissed her hand...ooh. He had to tell her to go bc he wanted to remain a patient man. I'm glad he told her, I'm not surprised that happened. Come on Elizabeth, give the man a break. I mean what did you think would happen when you asked him to sit right next to you on that tiny bench for one. Omg and she fanned herself after exiting. She likes him that much?? Or she's trying to make love form from a purely physical attraction.

I really don't like the whole Rachel and Christopher romance. Maybe I would like it and believe it more if the actors actually looked like teenagers. I mean, Rachel does not look 17, especially since we regularly see child actors on the show in school and they are entering their teens, if they aren't teens already. When comparing a kid like Anna to Rachel, Rachel just seems way to old for 17.

I love how we see Allie's side to this love triangle plot. I loved the scene between her and Elizabeth in the school house. I liked that we were finally having a discussion between just them, and then Elizabeth opens the invitation! I laughed so hard! The pop up of Nathan in his mountie uniform and Elizabeth at the dinner table. Oh that was so funny! and also adorable. Allie wasn't taking any of it, yo she said *Fine and she snatched that invitation back and she tore it up. I was yelling at my tv, yes Allie you tell her!

When Elizabeth approached Nathan at the parade...come on E. That was not the time or place. Again, I like that they have these conversations and disagreements, but the writing of that dialogue was just so bad I thought. It was so awkward sounding and the pacing just felt off. It really didnt flow and I wonder if the writers were running out of time or something. When Nathan said that Allie is afraid to talk to Elizabeth without him present...oh that hurt inside. I feel so sorry for Allie, she's so hurt by all this I just want to make everything better for her. I like that Elizabeth's concern for Allie is at the forefront bc it's like her and Nathan are the concerned parents, but since Elizabeth rejected Nathan (and therefore Allie too) she really has no right to demand a say in how to help Allie feel better. Elizabeth isnt part of the family unit and Allie is solely Nathan's responsibility. I really liked Erin's acting in the way we could see the moment where Elizabeth thought back to her conversation with Rosemary and decided right then and there that she had to ask Nathan what it was he wasnt telling her. I'm kind of disappointed in the secret though. I had made that prediction, but thought it was just too much and unnecessary drama...and then of course that's what it was. I have no clue how this will play out. I can't even remember the preview for next week. Anyway, overall, Elizabeth central, but also Elizabeth's annoying. Lucas shippers finally have something of substance...sort of. And as usual Nathan and Allie steal the show and I couldn't love them more.

[excaliefur]

Anne’s Deathday. Part 1

Heyyy, yeah so I’m going to start uploading fics again. no promises but I aim to get another chapter of Lets just talk up soon. I didn’t intend for this to be multi chaptered but it happened. Sorry for uploading this late, I struggle with deadlines. This has no ship as far as I know? This is going to be a mix of angst and other stuff I guess. Sorry if it’s inaccurate, I’m a teenager, not a historian. Anyways have a good day!

TW: Swearing, will add more as the story progresses, tell me if I need to add more. 

Words: 1205

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Anne sighed. Only a few more hours. Then it would officially be the day. 19.05.2020. Her death day. It was 21:23, and Anne was staring at her clock. 

Tick Tock. Anne was pissed. She wanted it to be midnight already, then she could try and sleep the whole day away. She had played every game on her switch, she watched every conspiracy theory video on youtube, she had done everything and now she was bored. 

She could hear Kats quiet snoring from the room next to hers, she could hear Cathy’s quiet typing from the other room next to hers, and she could hear Catherines quiet voice, speaking on her phone to someone. It made her smile. The normalcy of it, specifically, made her smile. It was just so normal. She could go to sleep and not worry about waking up somewhere else, or waking up with an arrest warrant, she could be safe, and she knew this life was secure. This life was amazing. 

Tick Tock. The ticking noise reminded her why she was awake. Anne groaned and flopped onto her bed. ‘Ughhh.’ she mumbled into her pillow. Maybe staying up wasn’t her best idea. Anne only wanted to get tired enough to sleep through the day without nightmares. The past few death days were so painful with flashbacks, she really didn’t want to go through that again. 

Tick Tock. that noise. It was taunting her. She yelled into her pillow and threw it across her room. It fell with a soft thud, and Anne felt annoyed. Now she had to walk all the way across the room to pick it up again. Before she got up, there was a quiet knock on her door. ‘Yeah?’ she asked, too tired to get up. Anne looked up to see who opened the door. It was Jane, holding 2 mugs of tea. ‘Can I sit?’ Jane asked, Anne loved that everyone there respected boundaries, but sometimes it was too much. It was her room, not like a time bomb. Anne shrugged and sat up, opposite Jane. Jane placed the mugs onto Anne’s desk as she sat on the chair. 

They sat in silence for a minute, before Jane passed Anne one of the mugs. Anne grabbed, it reveling in the warmth. Jane waited for Anne to drink before speaking.

‘Do you want to talk about it?’ She asked, gently. Anne shrugged, taking another sip of her tea. ‘That's fine,’ Jane said, her voice was very calming. Anne took another sip, just to avoid talking. ‘Do you want to stay in my room tonight?’ Jane pressed. Anne looked into Jane’s eyes. Nothing out of the ordinary there, kindness, empathy, a little bit of sadness. Anne didn’t feel too bad yet. She shook her head. ‘Not now.’ Jane nodded, understandingly. 

‘If you want to, my door will always be open.’ She said. Standing up and kissing Anne on her forehead. She stood straighter and exited the room. Anne smiled. It was reassuring to know that people cared. She took a few more sips of her tea and set it down. She certainly felt better, but it made her more tired. Anne sighed. ‘Fuuuuuuuu-’ she was interrupted by another knock on her door and someone strode in. It was Anna. ‘Hey Anna.’ Anne sighed gesturing to the seat opposite her.

‘Hey bo. Just wanted to check on you before I sleep.’ Anna said, wasting no time. 

‘I’m fine.’ Anne replied, she didn’t mean to be so guarded but it happened. ‘Yeah i can tell.’ Anna replied, dropping into the seat. ‘No, I’m serious, I’m fine.’ Anne said, annoyed. Anna shook her head, her face becoming serious. ‘Alright, i'm here for you though, bo.’ Anna reminded her, talks like these were not her specialty. She generally let Jane help someone first, and when they need a break, they could go to Anna. Anna went to exit the room, but paused at the door. ‘I think Catherine’s asleep, so she won’t come down, and Jane and Kat are talking, so unless Cathy forgets, she’s the last you’ll see tonight.’ Anna informed, knowing that Anne wouldn’t be comfortable until she knew where everyone was. Anne nodded gratefully, and smiled as Anna exited. 

Tick Tock. That damn ticking. Anne was ready to throw the clock out of the window. She got up and grabbed her laptop, opening up netflix, getting ready to binge watch some series she’s seen a million times. It was 23:30. Wow time moves fast. She scrolled through stuff shes seen and sighed, nothing was interesting. She played a random episode of a random series and grabbed her phone to scroll through tumblr. 

Tick tock. It felt like a blur, she had gone through maybe 13 episodes and she was getting bored. 

Tick tock. That stupid clock. 

Tick tock. Another 2 episodes. 

Tick tock. It was 02:45. 

Tick Tock. it was the day. 

Tick Tock. The day Anne hated almost as much as she hated henry. 

Tick Tock. the day that henry finally got rid of her. 

Tick tock. The day she got her scar. 

Tick Tock. The day Anne lost the chance of seeing Elizabeth grow up. 

Tick Tock. The day Elizabeth lost her mother. 

Tick Tock. Tick Tock. Tic- and then there was silence. 

Anne groaned and rubbed her head. It was pitch black. Where was she? Her head hurt like hell. She glanced around. It didn’t seem familiar. ‘-nne! Anne! Anne!’ came a voice, ringing in her head. It was like an alarm. Something was happening. Anne stood up, looking around for any indication of escape. Was she kidnapped? What was happening. 

Her eyes adjusted to the dark, and she realised she was in a room. It had no windows, a chair, and a small door to her right. Anne reached for the handle, and tried to open the door. It shook, but didn’t budge. With a frustrated groan, she sat onto the chair. She rubbed her temple. What happened? That's when she heard it, a soft whimper. ‘Hello?’ She asked, blindly moving towards where it came from. Anne squinted, and saw the outline of a child, huddling in a corner. It seemed oddly familiar. ‘Hey, I’m not going to hurt you. Can you move closer to me?’ Anne whispered, hoping to calm the child. 

The child moved away from the corner, slightly stepping closer. Anne gasped. She knew that child.

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Yeah, hi!. Does that count as a cliffhanger? I don’t know. 

Taglist Let me know if you want to be added or removed from it.

@mindless-pidgeon

@everything-insanity

@i-wanna-dance-and-sing-six

Stay safe folks.

[dreamcatcherfication]

Midnight is When I’m Most Honest

Ah yes, here we have sad Cathy Parr hours. I absolutely love writing Cathy Parr, so I’m glad I finally got around to finishing one of these fics. I also don’t see too much Kitty/Cathy friendship, so I figured I’d rectify that. Have some hurt/comfort, my specialty. Apologies for any grammatical errors. Comments are gladly accepted. PLEASE DO NOT POST OUTSIDE OF TUMBLR.

Please send in requests, I’m bored and I have no imagination right now, I need something to do. I’ll try to get them done as soon as possible.

Writing Masterpost

Trigger Warnings: Allusions to sexual abuse, insomnia, negative thoughts

Cathy Parr was an insomniac, simple as that. She didn’t know if it was her own fault she could never sleep, or if her body had some deficiency, but rarely did she find herself comfortably asleep. So she figured she’d make use of her time. If she couldn’t sleep, why not work and be productive. She swapped her pillow for a cup of coffee, her pajamas for a computer screen, and settled in for the night.

Sure, she’d find herself feeling and acting like a zombie the next day, but what was the point of attempting to sleep and still getting the same result? To be honest, sometimes Cathy didn’t even know what she was doing on her computer screen. More often than not she’d find herself searching for information on her Mary, praying that someone, one person, would have any idea what happened to her. Instead, she only dug up more on Thomas, the man she thought she loved.

Of course she knew Thomas wasn’t perfect, but his flaws were what made him so attractive to Cathy. She loved him for not giving up on her, for supporting all her beliefs. He wasn’t perfect, but it took time for Cathy to realize that he was much farther from perfect than she ever imagined. The things he did to Elizabeth, the things she let him get away with. If she had been a little stronger, she would’ve been able to protect Liz and her own daughter but… she hadn’t been. Instead, she had left them alone with that horrible, horrible man, and - well history told the rest of the story pretty well.

It made Cathy feel absolutely terrible, singing about Thomas every night. The queens had all agreed to write the show from their perspectives before researching what history said about them, and Cathy couldn’t help but regret that decision. Everyday she told the world how much she loved Thomas, how good he was for her. She was painting a devil as a saint and never even realized it.

The worst part was that some of her still denied it. She couldn’t associate the modern version of Thomas with the man she knew. Cathy believed all the articles she read, she believed that Thomas did what they said he did but… part of her ached to forgive him. She still loved him, and that was what hurt the most.

Cathy wondered if this was what Jane felt everyday.

As proud as she was of their show, as much as she cared for the queens and the ladies in waiting, Cathy longed to be back in 16th century England. At least then, she would be ignorant. At least then she would have her daughter. At least then she wouldn’t regret loving anyone.

A knock came from her door causing Cathy’s neck to dart quickly to the side. She slowly got up and approached the door, waiting to see if there would be another knock. Indeed, a second knock against the door, followed by anxious shuffling noises on the other side. Opening the door, Cathy was greeted with Kitty on the other side, wrapped in a pink blanket, swaying side to side nervously. Her head was pointed at the floor as she refused to make eye contact with Cathy as she spoke. “I just - uh - everyone else was asleep. I didn’t want to bother anyone but - but your light was on so - so I just thought. I can go if you’d like,” as she rambled, Kitty started to back up and move away from Cathy’s door.

“Hey, Kitty, you can come in if you’d like,” Cathy offered. With all her internal turmoil, the writer could use the company of someone else. Looking hopeful, Kit waddled her way into the room with her blanket still wrapped tightly around her body. She plopped herself on Cathy’s bed, the aforementioned woman returning to her desk.

The two sat silently, the only sound being the click of Cathy’s keyboard as she typed in a new query into google. Kitty watched the older queen, not saying anything at first. Eventually, she broached the silence with, “What are you looking for?”

Pausing her search, Cathy turned around so she and Kit could talk face to face. When they made eye contact, the younger queen’s eyes dropped to her lap as she fiddled with her hands. Cathy was used to Kit’s nervous behaviors, especially at night when they came from nightmares. Usually it was one of the other queen’s who helped the teenager out, but Cathy didn’t really have that option. “Just doing some research, nothing much,” Cathy responded lightly, hoping to coax Kitty into soft conversation. “Why are you up so late?”

Kitty ignored the question and asked, “What were you researching? You’re very focused. Is that why you’re still awake?”

Cathy sighed. She didn’t want to explain to Kit that it was her insomnia keeping her up, so she tried to go for a more simple approach. “I’m not tired, and I have a lot of work to do, so I decided to stay up late. Just for tonight.”

“But it’s not just tonight,” Kitty frowned. “Whenever I have a nightmare, I always see your light on. And you always look so tired. Cathy, when do you sleep?”

There was a moment of silence as the two queens looked at each other. Cathy was taken aback by Kit calling her out, and Kit just seemed genuinely concerned. “I sleep plenty, don’t worry about that.”

“But I do worry,” Kitty said. “I know I’m not like Aragon who always checks up on you, or Annie who always has your back but… I care too.” There were tears in the corners of Kitty’s eyes, and Cathy wasn’t quite sure if they had been there from the moment she walked in the door.

Softening her gaze, Cathy moved away from her laptop to sit next to Kit on her bed. She opened her arms and let the younger queen rest against her chest. “And I care about you too, Kitty. You can always come to me if you need someone. My door is always open.”

Sniffling, Kit replied, “Thanks Cathy.” The two sat together on the bed for a little while, enjoying the silence of the night. “But…” Kit said once again, “What were you researching?”

Cathy froze up, but then relaxed. “Nothing important really, don’t worry about it, Kitty.”

“If it’s not important, why can’t you tell me?” Kitty asked. Then wincing as she realized how she sounded, the teen reiterated, “I just wanna know so I’m not worrying.”

Kitty’s pouting is what finally broke Cathy into telling the truth. “I was searching for Mary.” At Kit’s frown, she elaborated, “My daughter Mary.” The younger queen nodded and encouraged Cathy to keep talking. “History doesn’t know anything about her. As soon as I died, she disappeared. And I wish there was anything I could find about her. Good or bad, at this point, I don’t care. Anything is better than not knowing.” Tears started to pool in her eyes, but suddenly Cathy couldn’t stop herself from letting everything out. “All I ever find is about Thomas. The man I thought was good and loving. History only talks about all the terrible things he did, to Elizabeth, to Edward. I don’t want to believe any of it, but deep down I do, I know it’s true. And yet I still love him. What kind of person am I to still love a monster?”

“For the longest time I thought I was in love with Dereham,” Kitty spoke up.

“But he-”

“Yeah, he did.” Kitty’s eyes were once again in her lap. “He was so kind to me, I thought it was love. It took a long time for me to come to terms with the fact that even if I had feelings for him, that didn’t mean it was my fault. Most of what I remember of Francis wasn’t horrible. There,” she shivered, “there were horrible moments, yes, but I still thought it was love.” She brought her eyes up to look at Cathy. “Loving Thomas isn’t your fault. Maybe it’ll take some time to see the Thomas you remember with the Thomas he was, but one day you’ll realize that you don’t need him in your life. To - uh - to paraphrase a line, ‘You don’t need his love.’”

Cathy let the words sink in before she pulled Kitty closer to her in a tight embrace. “Thank you, Kit,” she whispered. “That means a lot.”

Giggling, the younger queen shrugged against Cathy. “If I’ve learned anything about the 21st century, it’s that you gotta live in the present. So let’s watch a movie or something Cathy!”

Lifting up the teen as she stood up, Kitty squealed in delight as Cathy carried her to the door. Cathy was probably the weakest of the queens, but she did her best to entertain the youngest by carrying her down to the living room. So what if her muscles ached, it was worth it to see Kitty laughing with joy. “What do you want to watch?” Cathy asked as she scrolled through all the movies they had.

“Frozen,” Kitty said determinedly while staring at Cathy.

Chuckling, she asked, “Why that one?”

“Because Anna and Elsa don’t need any man, they just need each other.” Cathy felt herself melt a little when Kit spoke so passionately. The two queens shared a grin and sat together on the couch and let the movie play. They sang along to the songs they knew, shushing each other when they got too loud. Although they had already seen Frozen multiple times, this time the movie seemed far better than either of them remembered.

When morning rolled around and Jane came downstairs to make breakfast, she was surprised to see the last two queens snuggled together on the couch. They were both sound asleep under Kit’s pink blanket, arms around each other with smiles on their faces. Without saying a word, Jane grabbed a second blanket and laid it on top of them before resuming her morning duties.

Needless to say, Cathy Parr’s insomnia didn’t seem like such a burden anymore.

[duggardata]

Info, Please:  Extended Families  (Part 1, Duggars + In–Laws)

So…  I think it would be nuts to actually draw out of a family tree, since it would have to be so, so huge.  But, I’m happy to provide a written Post about this!  I’ll trace each family back to the Great–Grandparents of Josh, etc., usually dubbed the “Second Generation” by Duggar Data.  I’m not going to include any Uncles, Aunts, Great–Uncles, Great–Aunts, or Cousins, except for the Duggars / Bates.  Too much to research, and it’s maybe a bit too invasive for the less high–profile families.

Part 1 will be Duggars + In–Laws.  Part 2 will be Bateses + In–Laws.  Part 3 will be the rest of the Predictor Families.  Onward, to...   

The Duggar Family

Josh, etc.’s Parents are James Robert (“Jim Bob” or “J.B.”) Duggar (b. 1965) + Michelle Annette (Ruark) Duggar (b. 1966).  Their Paternal Grandparents—i.e., Jim Bob’s Parents—are James Lee (“J.L.”) Duggar (1936–2009) + Mary Leona (Lester) Duggar (1941–2019).  Their Maternal Grandparents—i.e., Michelle’s Parents—are Garrett Floyde Ruark (1924–2010) + Ethel Marie (Hardin) Ruark (1927–1991).  Jim Bob has 1 Sibling (Deanna).  Michelle is 1 of 7 Children.

Paternal Grandparents   James Lee + Mary Leona (Lester) Duggar

Maternal Grandparents   Garrett Floyde + Ethel Marie (Hardin) Ruark

Paternal Aunts / Uncles   Deanna (Duggar) Jordan

Maternal Aunts / Uncles   Pamela Ethel Peters, Freda Benderman (d. 2015), Evelyn Alice Ruark, Kathie Ann Arnold (1952–2013), Carolyn Ann Hudgins, Garrett Floyde Ruark, Jr.

Parents   James Robert (“Jim Bob”) + Michelle Annette (Ruark) Duggar

Children   19 Children  (Josh, Jana, etc.)

Grandchildren   17 So Far  (+1 On The Way)        

In–Laws...  After the jump.

The Burnett Family

Abbie (Burnett) Duggar’s Parents are John Haskell Burnett II (b. 1958) + Cheryl Denise (Clay) Burnett (b. 1959).  She has 7 Siblings—namely, John–Clay Byford, Hannah Joy, Caleb Andrew, Charity Faith, Maggie Ruth, Carinna Elizabeth, and Benjamin Josiah.  Neither set of Grandparents is known; however, her Paternal Grandfather is presumably John Haskell Burnett, Sr.  (See Also.)

Paternal Grandparents   John Haskell Burnett, Sr.  +  [ Unknown ]

Maternal Grandparents   [ Unknown ]

Parents   John Haskell Burnett II + Cheryl Denise (Clay) Burnett

Children   John–Clay Byford Burnett, Hannah Joy Dornick, Caleb Andrew Burnett, Abbie Grace Duggar, Charity Faith Wearden, Maggie Ruth Burnett, Carrina Elizabeth Penn, Benjamin Josiah Burnett    

Grandchildren   10 So Far  (inc. Grace Annette Duggar)     

The Caldwell Family

Kendra’s Family consists of her Parents, Pastor Gene Paul (“Paul”) Caldwell (b. 1977) + Christina (Hamrick) Caldwell (b. 1979), and 8 Children—Kendra Renee, Lauren Hope, Micah Joel, Nathan, Timothy, Olivia Grace, Jesiah Mathew, and Isaiah Gabriel.  Her Paternal Grandparents are Marion Lynn + Peggy Ann (Dragland) Caldwell.  Her Maternal Grandparents are Unknown.

Paternal Grandparents   Marion Lynn + Peggy Ann (Dragland) Caldwell

Maternal Grandparents   [ Unknown ]

Parents   Gene Paul (“Paul”) + Christina (Hamrick) Caldwell

Children   Kendra Renee Duggar, Lauren Hope Caldwell, Micah Joel Caldwell, Nathan Caldwell, Timothy Caldwell, Olivia Grace Caldwell, Jesiah Mathew Caldwell, Isaiah Gabriel Caldwell  

Grandchildren   2 So Far  (Garrett David Duggar and Addison Renee Duggar)  

The Dillard Family

As for Jill’s Husband, Derick, his Parents are Cathy (George) Byrum (Previously Dillard) (b. 1957) + Richard (“Rick”) W. Dillard (1957–2008).  His Stepfather is Ronnie Byrum.  He has 1 Sibling—a brother, Daniel David.  His Grandparents are Norman + Sue Dillard (Paternal), and Shuford George + Vergie (Wilkerson) Payne (Previously George / Pipher) (1932–2014) (Maternal).

Paternal Grandparents   Norman + Sue Dillard

Maternal Grandparents   Shuford George + Vergie (Wilkerson) Paine

Parents   Richard “Rick” Dillard + Cathy (George) Byrum

Children   Derick Michael Dillard, Daniel David Dillard

Grandchildren   3 So Far  (Israel David Dillard, Samuel Scott Dillard, and Jaxon Michael Dillard)

The Forsyth Family

Joy’s In–Laws include Austin’s Parents, Terry Lynn Forsyth (b. 1959) + Roxanne (Waters) Forsyth (b. 1963), and his sister, Meagan.  Roxanne is Terry’s 2nd Wife; he was previously married to Julia Ann Rowe, but got divorced in 1982.  Terry + Julia had 2 Children—Brandon Lynn and Rachael Marie—who are Half–Siblings of Austin.  Nothing is known about Austin’s Grandparents.

Paternal Grandparents   [ Unknown ]

Maternal Grandparents   [ Unknown ]

Parents   Terry + Roxanne (Waters) Forsyth; Terry + Julia (Rowe) Forsyth

Children (w/ Roxanne)   Meagan Elizabeth Ballinger, Austin Martyn Forsyth

Children (w/ Julie)   Brandon Lynn Forsyth, Rachael Marie Tunstill  

Grandchildren (w/ Roxanne)   3 So Far  (+2 On The Way)

Grandchildren (w/ Julia)  10 So Far  

The Keller Family

The Keller Family is headed by Parents Michael “Mike” Edward Keller (b. 1959) + Lillie “Suzette” (Stembridge) Keller (b. 1955).  Together, they have 8 Children—Esther Joy, Rebekah Ann, Daniel Michael, Priscilla Lynn, Anna Renee, Nathan Edward, and David Nathaniel.  The Paternal Grandparents are Unknown.  Their Maternal Grandparents are Melvin Rudolph Stembridge, Sr. + Dorothy Mae (Adams) Stembridge (d. 2008).  

Paternal Grandparents   [ Unknown ]

Maternal Grandparents   Melvin Rudolph Stembridge, Sr. + Dorothy Mae (Adams) Stembridge

Parents   Michael Edward + Lillie “Suzette” (Stembridge) Keller

Children   Esther Joy Shrader, Rebekah Ann Hunt, Daniel Michael Keller, Priscilla Lynn Waller, Anna Renee Duggar, Susanna Grace Bridges, Nathan Edward Keller, David Nathaniel Keller

Grandchildren   22 So Far (+1 On The Way)  [Note—This includes non–Quiverful Couples’ children, which I typically don’t discuss.]

The Seewald Family

Looking to the Seewald Clan, Ben’s Parents are Michael Seewald (b. 1974) + Guinnevere (“Guinn”) (Eaton) Seewald (b. 1974).  He has 6 Siblings, namely—Jessica Lane, Danielle, Michelle Alaine, Ethan, Faith, and Tommy Jack.  Ben’s Grandparents include Bob + Arlene Seewald (Paternal), and Robert (“Bob”) Eaton (1950–2019) + Deborah Eaton (Maternal).

Paternal Grandparents   Bob + Arlene Seewald

Maternal Grandparents   Robert (“Bob”) + Deborah Eaton

Parents   Michael + Guinnevere (“Guinn”) (Eaton) Seewald

Children   Benjamin Michael Seewald, Jessica Lane Lester, Danielle Seewald, Michelle Alaine Seewald, Ethan Seewald, Faith Seewald, Tommy Jack Seewald      

Grandchildren   3 So Far  (Spurgeon Elliot Seewald, Henry Wilberforce Seewald, Ivy Jane Seewald)

The Swanson Family

Lauren’s Parents are Dwain Charles Swanson (b. 1975) + Lana M. Swanson (b. 1975).  Nothing is known about the extended family; both sets of Grandparents are Unknown.  Lauren is 1 of 9 Children.  Her siblings include Lily, David, Lydia, Daniel, Dustin, Drew, Luci, and Duke.

Paternal Grandparents   [ Unknown ]

Maternal Grandparents   [ Unknown ]

Parents   Dwain Charles + Lana Swanson

Children   Lauren Milagro Duggar, Lily Swanson, David Swanson, Lydia Swanson, Daniel Swanson, Dustin Swanson, Drew Swanson, Luci Swanson, Duke Matthew Swanson        

Grandchildren   1 So Far  (Bella Milagro Duggar)

The Vuolo Family

Updated 4–22–20 w/ information provided by an Anon...

As for the Vuolo Clan, Jeremy’s Parents are Charles (“Chuck”) Henry Vuolo (b. 1951) + Diana Lynn (Salamon) Vuolo (b. 1955).  Jeremy has 2 Living Siblings—Valerie and Charles—and a 3rd Sibling (Angela; d. 1984) who was stillborn.  (It seems she was Valerie’s twin, since Angela’s death of death is Valerie’s DOB.)  Jeremy’s Paternal Grandparents are Tony + Ann Vuolo, and Jeremy’s Maternal Grandparents are Stanley Peter Salamon (d. 2013) + Mary Elizabeth (Gillespie) Salamon (1926–2009).  

Paternal Grandparents   Tony + Ann Vuolo

Maternal Grandparents   Stanley P. + Mary E. (Gillespie) Salamon

Parents   Charles (“Chuck”) Henry + Diana Lynn (Salamon) Vuolo

Children   Valerie Vuolo, Charles Anthony Vuolo, Jeremy Joseph Vuolo

Grandchildren   1 So Far  (Felicity Nicole Vuolo)

Next up, the Bates Family + In–Laws...  Stay tuned for Part 2.

[yourdeepestfathoms]

Cherry Wine

TW: Self harm

-----------------

Bessie was angry very often. Sometimes for no reason. She couldn’t explain the rage she sometimes felt- it just existed and burned and blistered all the way through her.

But sometimes the fury would often be blown out like a candle, leaving her cold with only sorrow in its absence. A tidal wave of misery crashes over her and suddenly she’s floundering around in black waters, desperate to stay afloat. Her hands grab for anything to anchor onto, but the riptide seizes her in its grasp and she’s yanked down, down, down, until her back is scraped against jagged coral reefs. Red mist hazes the diminishing light from above, but it wasn’t coming from her wounded spine.

Bessie likes to think she was smart. She always kept her wrists clean. Her stomach and thighs on the other hand...well, they were not a pretty sight to say the least. With summer coming up soon, she had to either get ready to swim in a t-shirt and shorts or get over this habit. The latter didn’t seem too likely.

Thank god she was asexual, though. And that Anna accepted that and never pushed anything because her cover would be blown the moment she took off her pants.

Her stomach and thighs were easy to hide thanks to the wonderful invention called clothing, but that had a downside, too. For starters, a lot of the frayed edges would get caught on the cloth and rub in a very uncomfortable way. Her torso and legs would also burn like they were on fire for half of the day after, but she would usually get over it by the time the show started. And she was SUPPOSED to clean the cuts after she finished, but, well...

Well, it’s a wonder she hasn’t gotten infected yet.

An itch ripples across Bessie’s body and she went rigid. Her skin prickled in a way that she couldn’t satiate with her fingernails. Bugs were crawling underneath her flesh and she HAD TO GET THEM OUT.

Her eyes popped open. The sensation of army ants marching across her muscles came so suddenly. The scalding rain from the shower she was taking was failing at scraping her raw. The steaming bullets couldn’t tunnel deep enough to soothe the infestation and the colony continued to swarm throughout her limbs.

Fingernails curl into bare, scarred thighs. Bessie hunched over from where she was sitting and tried to calm herself down. The scratchiness would go away if she just waited it out. Just resist the urge.

But she couldn’t, she couldn’t, she couldn’t.

Bessie turned the heat up and pulled her knees in close. She tangles her hands in her hair and hoped that the hot shower would be enough for her. Her skin burns, but the bugs continue to crawl. This isn’t working. She can’t flush them out.

The spigot sputters to a halt and Bessie stumbles out of the shower. The amount of steam gathered in the bathroom practically suffocates her. She coughs.

Bessie was sent reeling across her room after pulling her clothes on, desperately scrambling to grab the box cutter she hid beneath the mattress. With a click, the blade retracts and she finds herself hesitating for a moment.

Did she really want to do this? She’s been clean for two weeks. That’s really good for her, especially with her current depression spiral. She didn’t have to do this. She could put the blade down. She could ask for help. She could get a hug. She could call Anna. She could-

She could cut.

Bessie didn’t want to look at her ugly thighs and ugly stomach, so she rolls her sleeve up and brings the blade down on her shoulder, slicing open a new tally. The relief that washed over her had her shuddering in blissful agony, choking on a sob as she cut again. And again. And again.

On the inside, she was screaming. Her brain was commanding her, even though her body didn’t want to bring itself anymore harm. She couldn’t stop herself even if she wanted to.

Bessie was seriously uncoordinated during moments like this. Her shaking hands slipped up and accidentally cut into one of the older scars, breaking it back open and spilling more blood down her arm. She yowled and threw the box cutter at the wall, clutching desperately at her throbbing shoulder. She sunk to her knees, stinging tears rolling down her cheeks. Too focused on the pain and hot blood pouring over her hand, she couldn’t even register if she heard footsteps coming to her bedroom.

Aragon suddenly swung the door open, halting mid-sentence when she saw the bassist on her hands and knees, bleeding heavily from an injury she was white-knuckling. She froze and so did Bessie, and they stared at each like deer caught in headlights. Neither dared to move for a good thirty seconds, but it was the queen who snapped out of it first.

“Elizabeth!!”

Bessie attempted to evade her, but the moment she put pressure on her arm to try and scuttle away, she nearly had herself howling again. She couldn’t move and felt completely helpless in that moment.

“Elizabeth,” Aragon called out, crouching down to the girl’s side, “Bessie. Open your hand, please. It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

Bessie was deaf to her words. She’s relishing in the pain, weeping softly as her consciousness wavers in and out of her mind. Her nails curl into her shoulder and she sobs again.

Fingers touch her own and she flinches back, digging her nails deeper against her arm. She thought her grip was of iron, but her hand is slowly pried loose and she gasps for air. Bright red glistens on her palms. There’s too much. It wasn’t an accidental scratch like Aragon was expecting.

The queen stares in shock at the vicious scars striped across the bassist’s shoulder. Some were whited out already, others were scabbed over, a few were fresh, like the one with crimson bubbles simmering on the edges. Oh how she wished this wasn’t what it was. Maybe one of the cats was just very symmetrical? No, no. Improbable, at best.

“Oh my god, Elizabeth...” Aragon murmured. Hearing her use the Lord’s name in vain meant she really was shocked. “Here, I’ll- I’ll be right back.”

Bessie didn’t have the energy to respond. She’s swaying in her spot on the floor, watching a fleeting figure hurry out of her bedroom. Aragon was probably going to go through the bathroom, but she wasn’t able to stop her. Her eyes start to close and she puts one hand on the floor to attempt to support herself.

Aragon came back with the first-aid kit that was kept in the bathroom cabinets. Lucky find. Bessie was just going to let herself bleed until a clot formed.

“Elizabeth, can you hear me? Nod to me if you can.” Bessie did as she was asked, unable to speak. “That’s good, honey, that’s very good.”

Bessie sniffled and tilted her head down. There were multiple trails of sweet red venom dribbling lazily down her arm, and Aragon is working to wipe off the blood with a cloth. Did she really cut that much or did she hit a blood vessel?

“This is going to sting a little.”

The girl hissed and arched her spine when an antiseptic-soaked gauze is pressed to her arm. She convulses and whimpered, swatting at Aragon’s hand, but isn’t able to stop the disinfectant from flushing out her wounds. After a moment, she finds clarity in the pain and almost enjoys it.

The silence is tense. Aragon is focused on stopping the bleeding and Bessie is still out of it. Her hands quake with tremors and she paws helplessly at her carpet, which has been ruined. She was so busy being dismayed over the stains that she didn’t even feel the thumb brushing away her tears.

“Elizabeth, would you like if I called Anna?” Aragon asked gently, “Would she make you feel better?”

“N-no!”

Aragon pulled back a little and furrowed her eyebrows. She had expected the girl to agree to the idea, not decline.

“N-no,” Bessie repeated, this time softer, “Sh-she can’t know. Anna can’t know.”

Her trembling gets worse, breathing picking up. A panic attack rises in her chest and she chokes on a sob. Aragon’s eyes widen in realization and she’s quick to pull Bessie into a hug, soothingly rubbing her hand up and down her spine.

“A-A-Anna c-can’t-” Bessie coughs, “She’ll be mad. She’ll leave. She’ll leave me. I can’t- I can’t lose her, Catalina. I can’t!”

The girl yowls and whimpers and frets in Aragon’s arms, crying against her shoulder. That feeling of bugs crawling beneath her skin returns and she reaches to scratch at the cuts that had finally stopped bleeding. A hand grabs her wrist before contact could be made.

“You’re not going to hurt yourself again.” Aragon said firmly. “Just breathe, mija. Can you do that for me?”

Bessie had practiced breathing, told her girls to do it so many times, so why is it so difficult for her? Maybe because she wasn’t used to someone being with her, helping her through the panic attack. Or maybe because she was caught cutting and the shock was making her brain stop working.

She shudders and grips tightly to the back of Aragon’s shirt. Her mind is reeling and so many horrible thoughts whip around in her head. Maybe she if she just waited until Aragon left then could she continue.

But is that what she wanted?

Yes. It had to be. It’s the only thing that would make her feel better.

“Can you stand?” Aragon asked softly, “Your bed is probably a lot more comfortable than the floor.”

Bessie agreed, as the carpet was starting to get scratchy, but she didn’t trust herself that much. Still, she tried to get to her feet, but dizziness cracked against her skull like a sledgehammer and she nearly toppled back over if it wasn’t for Aragon steadying her. A newborn foal would have better balance than she did.

She felt utterly pathetic. Aragon had to help her walk a few steps to her bed because she would collapse if she tried to by herself. Now that the queen was dragged into her problems, she didn’t want her to leave. Especially since she’s seen her like this.

Aragon was surprised when Bessie turtles against her, gripping desperately for her sleeve or something to hold onto. Her hands hovered for a moment before rubbing against the girl’s back.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

She felt Bessie shrink up, like a scared hedgehog brandishing its quills. She screwed her eyes shut and exhaled shakily, finally speaking up in a hoarse voice.

“I’m sorry.” She croaked.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, my darling,” Aragon said gently, brushing back some of the girl’s hair.

Bessie grimaced and pulled her head back with a jerked motion. Her eyes glanced up momentarily before going back down to her bed sheets.

“Yes, yes there is.” She said, “It’s unfair to you. You-you didn’t come here to deal with my bullshit. You came here to eat dinner and th-this-” She gestures for her reddened shoulder, “shouldn’t have been what you saw. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“No. Don’t you dare apologize, Elizabeth.” Aragon said and Bessie has never heard so much firmness in her voice before.

“But-”

“But nothing.” Aragon cut her off, “Elizabeth, being here is all I can do for you and, trust me, I wish I could do so much more than that.”

Bessie stared at her in disbelief. She didn’t understand why Aragon was being so nice to her, even though they had settled the past months ago, but the kindness was overwhelming and so, so needed.

The girl curls her fingers into her sheets, inhaling shakily and trying not to start crying all over again.

“You don’t think I’m a freak?” She asked softly.

Aragon squeezed Bessie’s forearms, coaxing her to look up and make eye contact.

“Not at all.”

The tears spilled over again and Bessie pressed her face against Aragon’s chest, muttering “thank you” over and over again. A gentle hand rubs circles against her back, soothing her until she could calm herself down.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to call Anna?”

“I-I’m sure,” Bessie sniffled, rubbing her wrist against her eyes, “She can’t know about this. I told her I stopped..”

Aragon frowned deeply.

“But you didn’t.”

Shame burned across Bessie’s face and she nodded slightly. She tucked her head under Aragon’s chin, nuzzling closer like a cold kitten searching for warmth.

“Please don’t tell her. I-I will. Eventually. Just-just not right now. I’m not ready yet.”

In reality, she probably wasn’t ever going to tell Anna if she didn’t have to. She could just keep up her facade of her skin being clean of cuts. No unnecessary drama had to happen.

“Alright. It’s your choice.” Aragon said respectfully.

Bessie looked down at her floor while yanking her sleeve back over the fresh injuries. She heard Aragon make a disgruntled noise from above.

“You don’t wrap them?”

“No,” Bessie shrugged a little. “Nothing has happened yet. I’m more worried about my floor.”

There were drizzles of red dotting the shaggy grey circle carpet, making Bessie grimace. She might be able to play it off as paint, but that would still make her girls worry.

“Hydrogen peroxide dissolves blood, ri- ow!!”

Aragon scrambled up to her feet when Bessie clutched at her shoulder while attempting to stand. She hissed a wheezing breath between her teeth and pulled her hand away.

“Easy, mija, easy.” Aragon said like a worried mother would.

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” Bessie said quickly, “Just the after effect. It always burns like this. You’d think I would get used to it.”

She stretches her arm a bit and winced, but shook off the stinging sensation spreading through her skin. Her cells were having an aneurysm from this aching feeling.

“But it is hydrogen peroxide, yeah? I wonder if we have any.”

“Maybe you should sit down.” Aragon offered, “Let me.”

“You already had to deal with my weeping into your chest,” Bessie pointed out while pulling her phone from her pocket, “Siri, how do you clean blood out of carpet?”

She paused for a moment.

“She recommended a cleaning company but I’m just gonna use WikiHow.”

“Do you always act this relaxed after...?”

Bessie rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly, looking over at Aragon, who still looks worried.

“Yeah, kinda.” She admitted, “That’s when I dissociate. Everything feels lucid and less stressful. And numb. It’s kinda nice.”

Aragon didn’t feel safe letting Bessie wander around grabbing cleaning chemicals by herself, so she went with her. Mainly because she was seriously worried about the girl downing an entire bottle of dish soap.

“How long have you been doing this?”

Bessie froze mid-scrub. Slowly, she raised her head to meet Aragon’s gaze.

“I, umm... Two weeks after we got reincarnated?” Bessie said meekly, “So about a year and a half now... Usually I do it on my stomach or thighs,” She sees Aragon glance momentarily at those two locations, “It wasn’t that bad back then, though. Things have just gotten worse, and...” She sighed, “So did I.”

Aragon moved from her spot to kneel down next to her. A hand is placed against her back.

“Are you going to be okay?” She asked in a softer voice.

“I think so.” Bessie answered, “I can’t- I can’t promise that I’ll stop. I don’t know if I can. But I’ll try. I want to get better, I just-”

She swallowed the painful lump in her throat.

“It’s hard.”

“I understand,” Aragon murmured, “Just remember that there are people you can talk to. Anna, for example. I’m here, too. I won’t try to act like I always know what I’m doing, but I’m here, if you need me.”

Bessie leaned against Aragon, fighting off tears once again. She sucked in a shaky breath and smiled wryly at her.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Aragon says, leaning over to kiss the top of Bessie’s wet hair. “Can you promise me something, though?”

Bessie looked up at her. Her eyes look so young, so hurt...just like they used to. Aragon couldn’t resist another kiss, which she places against the bassist’s forehead.

“Come to me. Please. Next time you want to cut, come to me. Call me, text me- just please reach out to me. We’ll go do something. We can watch a movie or I’ll just hold you like I used to, just please,” She grabs Bessie’s forearms and blinks back a haze of tears. “Please, baby girl, please come to me.”

Bessie’s eyes started to water all over again. She nodded with a strangled whimper and fell into Aragon’s loving arms, which held her so tightly.

“I love you so much, Elizabeth,” Aragon whispered. She’s crying, now, but her voice stays stable and strong. “More than life itself. You’re my beautiful daughter, and I hate seeing you like this.”

Being referred to as the queen’s daughter made a sob bubble to Bessie’s lips. She clung tighter.

“I-I love you, too....”

[cheermeupthankyou]

Brie Larson vs. The World: A Letter for Humanity

So I’d like to share and say hmmm in terms of adoration mm yeah Chris Evans what a husband material hubba hubba Chris Hemsworth funny dude even Taika Waititi oh Jodie Comer- in lesbians for her Armie Hammer Jake Gyllenhaal oofers eye candy Margaret Qualley mah babies Mackenzie Davis Wynonna Ryder and Kristen Stewart of course all them Marvel girls from A for Angelina Jolie Blanchett Danai Debicki Saldana Evangeline Karen Scarlett etc etc etc to Z for Zendaya Star Wars gang Daisy Felicity Oscar Lupita um yes please all the heroines we love Gal Gadot Amber Heard les cheveux roux madmoiselles Chastain Amy Adams the veterans Patricia Clarke Bullock Paulson Weaver Gillian Anderson Moore Lawless Mirren what goddesses they are even the young’uns newcomers Diana Silvers Billie Lourd Hunter Schafer such gems Thrones crew Gwendoline Emilia Lena Kit Sophie Maisie err pretty much everyone of them yes even the Night King give me the shivurs Aubrey Plaza Anna Kendrick Sarah Carter yas yas yas even some voice actors Ashly Burch Elizabeth Maxwell Hannah Telle j’adore Fab Five queers heck even politicians like AOC or Kamala Harris or Brian Sims gets me giddy wonderful wonderful insanely talented amazing great people.

But 

then 

there’s

Brie Larson. 

I was a music photographer and journalist for a while, I interviewed people and got the chance to meet some renowned humans (Feist, Au Revoir Simone, Kina Grannis, YYYs, Sean Lennon to name a few) it was my job to recognise their backgrounds and learn people’s personalities and identify situations.

While there are so much amazing people that I mentioned above who has done so many great things, I have never seen someone MOST relatable like Brie, so  humble and hardworking in the harsh -no privacy- industry of entertainment, who just bases her life out of goodness and excitement of life and purity. She’s like most of us, she’s awkward and shy, loves pets, video games, Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Sailor Moon, fan girls towards other celebs, music nerd and an actual nerd, and just loving life in general. 

So it does break my heart that people are targeting her as the subject of everything that’s negative just because she wanted to set a stigma that women can be powerful and is their own person, and she’s had it rough before (as I read/listened/watched her interviews) Here’s a narrowed down of her life:

- Her parents were constantly fighting when she was young, leaving her into a broken home, around 7 years old she moved to LA living in a studio apartment with her mom and sister with the 3 of them with only 1 murphy bed. She’s estranged with her dad until now.

- She’s definitely an introvert, type of girl who sits on the far upper left or right corner in the theatre thinking that she doesn’t block anyone’s view (she actually said this on an interview), had social anxiety attacks since she was young but she knows she loves acting and wants to entertain people, starting with singing in her early years. She prefers doing stuffs alone and creating arts just to keep her mind at ease.

- Because of her passion in acting and her social condition, she was home schooled and focused in acting schools more, thankfully her mother supported her to go to acting schools and just going on auditions. Her singing career didn’t go as much as she hoped, to make ends meet she started DJ-ing just to earn money. Keep in mind Brie did not come from a prestige family with access to Hollywood unlike some of her Marvel co-stars. She started from zero.

- She actually auditioned for Twilight and was told, “Don’t ever bring Brie Larson back here again” for whatever reason. Was also told she wasn’t “sexy enough” for some stuffs she auditioned.

- Even though she loves acting, knowing she’s an introvert, it is the only reason why Brie has never considered blockbuster movies because she was afraid of getting recognised worldwide that it would leave her having no privacy at life at all. Due to this, she accepted mostly indie movies (Most recognisably Short Term 12 or The Glass Castle) but even by doing indie movies she didn’t earn enough money that sometimes she would cry in her kitchen telling her mom that she doesn’t have any money just to buy food. 

- She did the movie Room which won her first Oscar for best actress, but in the process in doing so it broke her in half because of her childhood past and trauma. Whilst doing The Glass Castle she also said it was rather personal that she played a character with a broken relationship with a father (Played by Woody Harrelson) is because she never had father-daughter relationship. All the stuffs she did were mostly personal because she felt connected to them. Even Captain Marvel, because she felt that it was a moment in her life where she needs the change to be stronger for herself and Carol has changed her for that.

- Her road into becoming Captain Marvel was almost like a brick to brick road built up for her, as she has acted in movies with most of the Marvel casts. In 13 Going On 30 with Mark Ruffalo, with Chris Evans in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, Scarlett Johansson in Don Jon, Tom Hiddleston and Samuel L. Jackson in Kong: Skull Island and Joe and Anthony Russo in Community. A few reasons she accepted the role of Captain Marvel;  One being when she saw Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman, she admitted that even as the movie was just about a few minutes in, she couldn’t stop crying and she asks herself as to why that is, and she realised that this is the stuff I need, we don’t have this enough, where a powerful strong woman was depicted on screen; The other, for the most realistic reason that she did need the money while she was given the opportunity;  The SIMPLEST reason is just to MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY that the character is going to be brought to life; The MOST important of them all is that she wants to break the barrier of herself. She wants to be more out there, spreading positivity and setting an example to people to be stronger for themselves, that people can change for the better, in which in this case: Brie was a completely non athletic person with asthma, she trained for 9 months, almost 3-5 hours a day for 5 days a week at the gym with constant crying because of her hard work and changes to herself, vomited mostly at the gym and also puked during her pilot training. She had bruises all over the place because she did most of her stunts and training (Per her saying, it was ignorance at first because she thought everyone on Marvel was doing their own stunts when they’re not, but she did most of them herself that she was allowed to). 

- Now that she has recognition, she’s actually doing more activism and be a spokeswoman into helping people. She even promotes people’s brand and stuffs via her Instagram just to help out simple things. 

Please remember, she’s human. She has flaws, but I have never seen her doing/saying anything fatal that depicts resent. Never. And no, Brie is not the first female ever trying to set examples for people, but she is the current one getting the most hate for it just because of Captain Marvel— a film about a female superhero, setting an example for people to be stronger, she did it just to make people happy and half the world is angry at her. WTF. Believe it or not, this is girl actually CARES about people, she would care about you if you actually DO CARE about all the good things that does matter. Being of who she is, Brie is capable of empathising with people, which is something most people don’t have.

Brie wanted to be a better person, SHE DID. When in fact Brie has successfully done that, now people are hating her even more because she’s just a “bigger easier target” because of her role and apparently it is easier to hate someone else than just to be nice or appreciative or grateful in general. 

If you’re reading and you’re hating, can I just ask, what has Brie Larson done to your life? And maybe ask yourself what have you done that matters in your life? We can just be nicer to other people, it’s really not that hard to try, you know. Life is just about being kind to each other, there is no point in throwing hate because it’s not your cup of tea, having an opinion to your taste is fine, but giving hate comments about is just being an asshole. Imagine being in her shoes and dealing with all those that wasn’t necessary in the first place. It does take mentality of the size of the Jupiter with that amount of hate, and Brie Larson is still dealing them. Just think if that was you, could you be able to handle it as far as what she’s gone though? Really think about it. Not one human in the world wants to be hated for even the smallest reason, not even you.

As to those who feel like they wanted a change in their lives, if Brie can do it, SO CAN YOU. Stay calm, just be nice and kind to others— even to those who treated you unjustly. Let the action speaks louder than any words will ever do. And be happy of life.

My adoration for her is at the apex at the moment. She is IT.

So I’m just here spreading the love for Brie.

[jane-fucking-seymour]

Legend of the Six Chapter 15: She Rests in the Woods

Word Count: 4,258 AO3 here

Katherine Howard was not doing well.

Anne had come to the conclusion after the tenth time where Cathy denied her access to the room in which Katherine was. Cathy would stay in there for hours at a time - days, even - and come out of it in even less spirits than before.

It wasn’t looking good.

The third day in, Anne finally got off of the couch, moving towards the open window, sitting on the windowsill as she looks out at the forest. The hideout was beautiful… at least, Katherine had thought so.

“Do you think we can just… hang out down there, when it’s all said and done?” Katherine had asked one morning, towards the start of the journey.

“Probably,” Anne replied with a smile. “Just gonna abandon us and go live in the wilds, eh? You’re definitely a Druid.”

“Hey!” Katherine said, pouting and narrowing her eyes, but when Anne laughed, Katherine’s features softened considerably. 

“Do you think the others would want to hang out after all this, too?” Katherine asked, tilting her head curiously. “Maybe Elizabeth and Mary and Edward could come with us, you know?”

Anne had watched Katherine carefully in that moment: the girl seemed so hopeful, so positive… so full of life.

Anne chuckled, pulling the girl in close.

“I hope so, Kit.”

The smile on Katherine’s face was infectious.

That was months ago, Anne remembers.

So much had changed since then.

She looks back at Cathy as she once again leaves the room.

“Anything?” Anne asks, but the look on the woman’s face makes her know the answer already.

“I’m sorry, Anne, I’m trying as hard as I can, but-” Cathy starts, but Anne shakes her head.

“I know you are,” she says with a nod. Anne looks over at Anna, who simply nods at them all before headed back to her room.

“Has Anna talked to any of you?” Anne asks. “She’s barely left her room.”

“She’s been… quiet,” Catherine admits. “It’s going to be a rough night.”

“Rough?” Anne asks, tilting her head. “Why rough?”

Catherine and Cathy look at eachother.

“Because… it’s the third day.”

Anne blinks.

“And?”

“The final day.”

Anne tenses. “What?”

Cathy steps forward. “When it came to these sort of things - based off what I saw in the Blessed War, in the War of Shadows… no one survived longer than three days. Most died or otherwise by the second night. Katherine surviving this long is incredible, but-”

“She is incredible, Cathy,” Anne replies. “She’ll get better, then we’ll take on Seymour.”

A pause.

“Anne… it’s not that simple,” Cathy says. “It’s good that she’s survived this long, but she’s also been under sleep magicks and I’ve done what I can to make her comfortable while this has been happening. She hasn’t shown any improvement.”

Catherine steps in then. “We might need to make the decision tonight.”

Anne freezes. “No.”

“Anne-”

“No, I’m not doing it, neither is Anna. You need our permission, don’t you? She’s going to be fine, Cathy’s going to heal her, that’s it.”

Before they can even debate it, Anne walks off and into Anna’s room.

“Can you believe those two?” she asks the woman whose room she’s let herself in. “Saying that Kit isn’t going to make it-”

“Catherine suggested we perform the Final Mercy.”

Anne stops dead in her tracks.

“... no.”

“Anne-”

“How are you on their side?!? This is Kit we’re talking about here! This is her life! She needs to choose, not us.”

“She isn’t going to be Katherine again, Anne.”

Anna stands up, facing Anne square. 

“I saw the magicks that Jane did back then - what Jane did to her… there’s no getting out of it. There’s no cure.”

Anne takes a step back. “You’re in shock-”

“I fought in the Blessed War and in yours, Anne.”

Anne watches the girl with a steady gaze as Anna continues.

“I saw what mind magicks like the one Jane threw at her did. I saw friends and soldiers alike fall to it. I saw what happened when they were ‘released’, if you can even call it that. I saw the aftermath, the aftershocks. I saw it all.”

“Katherine’s done well with aftershocks before, remember? She can still-”

“Do you know what the Madness is, Anne?”

Anne shifts uncomfortably for a moment too long; Anna continues.

“The Madness is what happens when those released from mind magicks finally lose their damned minds. When they turn insane, turn traitor, or worse - much worse.” Anna shakes her head. “I saw entire squads fall to it, become mindless, ravenous beasts because of it.” She shakes her head, a pained, angry expression on her face. “I refuse to allow Katherine to fall to it.”

“We still have time before it happens usually-” Anne starts, but Anna shakes her head.

“It’s the third day. You know we don’t.”

Anna sighs. “We should ask Catherine to perform the Final Mercy. To send her off in light, not let her mind dive into the Dark.”

Anne is shaking with fear, with anger, with every emotion she has in her body. It’s a terrifying thought one way or the other - have Katherine fall to the Madness, or watch Katherine succumb to the Final Mercy.

Both are painful, but only one of them is painful for Kat.

“You know what we need to do,” Anna finishes.

Anne, after a moment, nods.

“I know.”

The rest of the day is a blur for Anne - they approach Catherine, they ask her to perform it, and then the rest of the day is spent preparing: Cathy meditates to build up the energy needed for her part of the job, Catherine prays over Katherine for hours, Anna gathers as much of Katherine’s things as possible, and Anne prays in Katherine’s room as well - part of the custom of a Final Mercy requires not only the Blessed to pray and meditate, but for a loved one to as well. 

Katherine, during this, looks oddly peaceful, like she’s taking a nap. Occasionally, however, her face will twist in pain, and the magick that Cathy is using to keep the girl asleep falters, but it’s usually cleared up within a minute. It’s only a small indication of the immeasurable pain that Katherine must be feeling, Anne realizes, and a darkness starts to well within her - one of hatred, of want for revenge, for Seymour’s head-

“Hey.”

Anne is broken from her thoughts by Catherine, who frowns.

“We can’t afford those type of thoughts here, Anne,” Catherine says quietly, not unkindly. “Please. Focus. On Kat. Not on that… we’ll deal with it later.”

Anne, begrudgingly, agrees, and goes back to focusing on the woman in front of her - of her cousin, her Kit, her favorite, brave Druid, who stood up to bullies and the Dark and became a hero of the Realm without the Realm knowing it.

Katherine didn’t deserve this.

None of them did.

It’s just about dusk when Catherine finally stands up.

“Anne, it’s time.”

Anne looks over at Catherine and just breaks down: that look, that tone… Anne knows what it means. She’s seen it time and time again, when a Blessed has had to make a very, very serious decision.

The killing of another is not something that the Blesseds take lightly.

“Catherine. Please.” Anne tries, rushing over to her, taking her arm, eyes wide and scared. “She can get better. I know she can. She’s strong, you said it yourself, remember? She’s going to be fine, she’s going to come back-”

“She won’t, Anne.”

Anne freezes at the blatant truth being thrown at her face. She can’t handle it right now, not when… when-

Anne falls to her knees, curling in on herself. She screams in pain. This hurts; oh gods, does this hurt. Her Kitty, the one that she hadn’t protected, the one that she should have connected with more, the one that probably thought she had abandoned her as soon as she went to court. She remembers what it felt like to see Katherine again in Weston, when they first said hello after years apart:

“Look at how big you’ve gotten!” Anne says, smiling brightly. “It’s been ages, hasn’t it? I’m sorry I had to leave you, babes, but I didn’t have a choice.” She gently puts her forehead to Katherine’s. “You won’t be alone again, alright? We’ve got you.”

They hadn’t “got” Katherine after all, Anne realizes. She’s failed her cousin again.

She wants to think about it more, but Anne feels the Blessed magick flowing through her - Aragon must be holding onto her now - and Anne can’t help but lean into it. She wants to not believe what’s about to happen, that it’s going to be okay, but… how can she? Even with the Blessed Magick’s calming ability, she can’t help but know that this is it. That her Katherine, her Kitty… she’ll be gone.

Still, Anne manages to steady her breathing out. She manages, with help, to rise again.

“Anne-” Catherine starts, but Anne cuts her off.

“I… let me have one last goodbye.”

Catherine nods.

“Of course.”

They go in one by one.

First up is Catherine Parr.

Katherine is pale, deathly so, but she’s at least not in pain; she’s asleep, a spell put onto her by Cathy that doesn’t hurt her mind, but rather forces her body to shut down; a workaround to ensure the least amount of pain possible for the girl before…

Catherine speaks.

“I just… wanted to talk to you. Before I do this. Before we…” 

She holds her breath for a moment before continuing.

“I wish I got to know  you more,” Cathy says quietly. “I wish we could have talked more. You were - are - a brilliant Druid, even if you hadn’t grown into your potential yet.” Cathy takes a deep breath. “I promise, I’ll make sure to be as quick and painless as I can be.”

When she leaves, Catherine steps in. She gently smoothes out Katherine’s hair, noting with a soft smile when Katherine somewhat leans into it.

“You’re brilliant, Katherine Howard,” Catherine says softly. “I just… I hope this is the right decision.” 

She leaves without another word.

Anna is next.

She stares at the body resting before her with wide, scared eyes; the first time she’s shown any emotion about this since talking in private with Catherine. She slowly but surely walks over to the girl - her Katherine, her Kit - and kneels down next to her body. 

She can see the breathing.

For now.

A hand gently takes Katherine’s and her forehead leans gently against Katherine’s shoulder. She doesn’t say anything - not yet. She just… memorizes it all. She memorizes Katherine’s steady breathing, the way her hand felt in Anna’s, how the girl looked, asleep, free of pain.

She wishes she could have seen that smile one more time.

She wishes she could have heard her laugh one more time.

She wishes for a lot of things.

“I’m so sorry, Kit…”

Tears start to fall.

She realizes, with a gentle chuckle, how Katherine probably wouldn’t want her to cry; the girl, always so expressive and empathetic, wouldn’t want her to cry over Katherine herself. She’d want her to go on, to smile, to move on.

They had chatted about it, some time ago.

“Do you think he’ll take me on, then?” Katherine asks, standing at the balcony for what felt like the last time. Of course, it wouldn’t be, but the roles would be somewhat reversed - Anna would no longer be queen, and Katherine would be. Anna was being sent back to Holbein today, and by the night was done, Katherine would take her place.

It sickened Anna, but she had no choice in the matter.

“I have no doubt,” Anna replies, looking down at the courtyard. She’s so lost in thought for a moment that she doesn’t notice Katherine approaching until it’s too late.

Katherine is gently wiping a tear from her face, making Anna look over at her in slight surprise.

“Hey, no crying, okay?” Katherine asks, a brilliant smile on her face. “If it happens… it happens.” She looks out at the sky then. “It’s a compliment to be picked by the King to be his queen. I’d be honored - like you were.”

Anna bites her tongue on that remark, which Kat doesn’t notice as she continues.

“No crying for me anyways,” Kat says. “Nothing like that. Even if this ends badly, even if things go south… I don’t want you to be crying over me, okay?” she looks over at Anna with the biggest grin Anna has ever seen. “We’ll never be too far apart. Even if things go bad. You told me that, remember?” She shrugs, turning to lean against the railing with her back, looking back towards where two guards were waiting. “We’ll meet again soon. We always will. Okay?” Katherine gently bumps into her. “No crying over me. Ever. It’ll be okay.”

Anna can’t help but have the words play over and over in her mind now: 

It will be okay.

It will be okay.

How can it ever be okay again?

“Anna.”

Anna stands up, wiping her eyes, not facing Catherine just yet.

“I…”

“I know,” Catherine replies. “But Anne… Anne needs to see her.”

With a deep breath, Anna turns. Any trace of tears are gone.

“Okay.”

As they waited outside for Anne to say goodbye, Catherine looked over at Cathy. “Is everything prepared?”

“We put her into a deeper sleep than right now first,” Cathy explains. “Then we allow the Final Mercy to be performed by Catherine.”

“It won’t hurt her,” Catherine assures Anna.

“How do you know that?” Anna asks, her tone a bit colder than normal. “How do you even remotely know that, if everyone it’s been tried on has died? It’s the Final Mercy, after all. No one’s lived through that.”

“Based off of vital signs and the like, it’s scientifically proven, Anna,” Cathy assures her. 

Anna sighs.

“I guess it’s better than the alternative.”

A door being shut cuts the attention of the group. There, Anne looks at them.

“She’s ready. I’m ready.”

Catherine nods, looking at Cathy, who nods as well. Anna follows them in.

“Is everyone prepared?” Cathy asks one final time.

Everyone’s silent… until Anne perks up.

“Wait!”

Catherine looks over. “What is it?”

Anne leaves for a moment before coming back - Katherine’s grey and white wolf plus.

“She called him Pax,” Anne says. “She says it’s named after her favorite dog in the Realm.” She gently puts it under Katherine’s arm. “I think… she might have wanted it, you know?”

Catherine smiles gently. “That’s lovely, Anne. Thank you. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it.”

With an awkward nod, Anne steps back, to where Anna is. Anne reaches for Anna’s arm, which Anna pulls close once Anne’s hooked around it.

Anne puts her head on Anna’s shoulder as the ritual begins.

Cathy, with a gentle prayer and a smoothing of the girl’s hair, puts her hand on Katherine’s forehead. She mumbles something and, suddenly, Katherine’s barely breathing at all.

“I-is that good?” Anne asks, scared for her cousin.

“It’s the magick working,” Cathy explains. “She’s just going deeper into sleep, cataonic in a way.”

“It will lessen her suffering to an amount that she won’t notice,” Catherine explains with a gentle nod. 

It’s with a sickening feeling that Anna realizes how practiced Catherine and Cathy are in this. How many others had fallen to Mind Magicks, only to have to have the Final Mercy performed on them?

Cathy checks Katherine over before she nods. “Go ahead.”

Catherine steps forward, a hand on her sword for a moment before she lets it go, hands starting to glow.

Anne can’t help but say it:

“We love you, Katherine.” 

Everyone looks over at her. She continues.

“So… s-so much.”

Catherine with a gentle nod, turns back to Katherine and, ever so gently, puts a hand over the girl’s heart and mind. 

A brilliant light surrounds the Druid, making her glow softly. Her body glows more and more, until it’s brighter than any star that Anne’s ever seen. Wings appear above the girl and on Catherine’s back. They intertwine for a moment, orbs of light surrounding the duo…

… until, suddenly, there’s a piercing sound of what seems to be glass breaking.

And suddenly, Katherine Howard is no more.

The girl’s body cracks into glowing fragments, into energy that seems to just… fade off. The light emitted from the girl is so bright and so strong, but from where Anne is, she can swear she sees Katherine smile one last time before she completely fades.

Two minutes after the ritual began, it was ended.

“Goddess protect her,” Catherine says, hands to her chest as she catches her breath.

Anne is the first to move, bringing Anna along as Catherine backs away to give the two space.

Cathy, tears in her eyes, welcomes the comforting touch of her godmother’s embrace as the two hold onto each other tightly, Catherine now allowing herself to mourn the girl she just helped bring to peace.

Anne and Anna stand there for a moment.

It’s silent.

They all stay there for hours - thinking, mourning, coming together as the family they’ve suddenly become. They don’t talk - the only sounds are sniffling and sobbing and crying - and Anne and Anna don’t move at all.

On hour four, Anna finally speaks:

“I’d like to sleep here tonight.”

“I as well,” Anne says.

“Of course,” Catherine replies. She looks over at Cathy. “Come on, let’s get their things.”

Just as they’re about to go, Anne stops them:

“Catherine?”

Aragon looks over and, for the first time, she sees genuine appreciation coming from Boleyn.

“Thank you.”

Catherine nods solemnly, looking at Anna for a moment before the two Catherine’s disappear.

They gather the other two’s things together as quietly as possible.

“I can’t believe she’s gone,” Cathy says quietly. “She was… she was taken far too soon.”

“Katherine deserves better,” Catherine replies with a nod. “And we owe it to her that justice be done.”

Cathy seems to tense then. “What in the world are we going to do if - when - we see Jane again?”

“We tell her what she did,” Catherine explains calmly. “And we make her pay for it. Those Magicks were banned for a reason. She knew that Katherine had had her fair share of manipulation. She charmed her anyways.” Catherine shakes her head. “It’s not right. It’s not just.”

“Jane apparently was never the just type, did you hear what she did in Temple of Healing at the Heart? It’s all true. She admitted as such.”

Catherine looks shocked. “When?”

“She admitted it when we were in the library. She said she was trying to be better… but I don’t think she was being sincere. She couldn’t have been, right? When she killed Katherine?”

Catherine watches Cathy for a moment before she nods to herself, seemingly coming to a realization about something, and stands up.

Cathy tilts her head. “What?”

“Nothing, not yet, anyways.” Catherine replies. “Just something I’ll need to chat with Jane about when we see her next.”

“We’re still doing this?” Cathy asks, eyes wide. 

“Of course,” Catherine replies. “We’re finishing what we started. We’re going to take down Henry and everything he’s done.” Catherine sighs. “We’re going to purge this world of his darkness - and cleanse everything he’s touched.”

Cathy frowns at that, but stands and goes to her godmother. She hugs the girl tightly. Catherine, having not expected that, takes a moment to hug back.

“I love you, you know,” Cathy says quietly. “I love you so much.”

“I know, love,” Catherine replies. “We’re going to be okay. I love you, too.”

That night, Anna and Anne are in Katherine’s bed, Pax the stuffed dog between them.

It’s silent for most of the night, until-

“She talked a lot about you.”

Anne looked over at Anna, a bit surprised that Anna was even talking.

“She mentioned that she used to love the antics you got into as a kid. You two hung out a bit, right?”

Anne thinks about it for a moment before she smiles at the memory:

“Yeah. I’d help sneak her out of her lessons and we’d go play in the forests around there and have some real fun,” Anne chuckles at the memory.

“She kept it up when she was my Lady in Waiting,” Anna replies. “We’d sneak out at night, when Henry went to bed. Stargazing, learning new magicks… we did so much. She was brilliant.”

Silence.

“I miss her.”

Anna looks over at Anne, who is clearly starting to tear up. She’s not sure what’s possessed her to do so, but Anna gently pulls Anne close.

They break down together, mourning their closest friend. 

The morning is slow to arrive for all the queens, but when it does, it feels… peaceful. Almost too much so, considering the events of the previous night.

Cathy hasn’t left Catherine’s side; Catherine isn’t complaining. 

Anna and Anne have, similarly, have stuck together as they get through the first morning. By noon, the four come together, down in the woods, where Katherine used to practice.

Her cloak and staff is there, along with Pax the stuffed dog. A few trinkets from the others: a dagger, a pebble, a book, a photo. 

A gentle wind blows across the memorial.

“What now?” Anne asks, looking up at Catherine for guidance.

“We continue on,” Catherine says. “We do what we promised Katherine we’d do. We’ll take back the Realm.”

“It’s suicide,” Anna says.

“It’s what she would have wanted,” Cathy replies. “Both of you know that.”

Anna nods. “I’m all in, I’m just saying… it’s suicide.”

Catherine stands up then. “We’re going to be starting a revolution now. This won’t stop once we start it - it’ll continue, with or without us, but we will either win or die. There’s no way Henry will let us live after this - regardless of reputation.” She keeps a steady gaze on all of them. “We need to end this. The sooner, the better.”

“If anyone wants to get off this ride,” Anne says seriously. “Now’s the time to do it.”

They all look at each other.

None of them move.

Anne nods.

“Then we’re in it for the long haul.”

Catherine nods. “For the Realm.”

Cathy stands. “For the lost.”

Anna nods. “For the world.”

Anne is last. “For Katherine.”

With that settled, Catherine takes control of the conversation.

“First thing, we help the Holbein operatives.” She looks to Anna for that. “How is Avril doing?” 

“Better than expected, last I heard,” Anna says. “But my best scout suggest a far stronger push coming up soon.”

“Bessie was rarely ever wrong in her reports… you should be there with her to ensure they’ll be okay,” Catherine says. She looks over at Anne. “Elizabeth should appear soon, right?”

“She’s bound to, yeah,” Anne says. “I’ll work with her on a way to get into the castle… and make sure she’s really who she says she is.”

Catherine frowns. “You doubt her?”

“I don’t trust anyone that’s not here, right now, before me,” Anne says. “As much as it pains me to say it, that includes my daughter.” she looks Catherine in the eye. “Until the final moonlight. For all of you.”

Catherine cuts in. “Keeping people not in this room at arm’s length is smart. Go see what she knows.”

Cathy stands then. “I’m going back to the library, taking as much as I can, and getting the forbidden texts to Weston. I still have friends there - despite the ashes it is. I can start the distribution of official reports, of anything that could be used against the crown. If the people start to see the truth, we can at least rile people up, cause some chaos. Make an opening for the final assault.”

Catherine nods. “I’ll be headed to the Blessed Sanctuary in Holbein, then.”

Anne raises an eyebrow. “Why?”

“If I can appeal to other Blesseds to take up arms, we’ll be in far better shape. The Sanctuary in the Realm is in ruin, but I doubt he’s taken Holbein’s Sanctuary just yet.”

“I’m sure Avril can get you in,” Anna replies. “Or Bessie. Someone.”

Catherine nods. “Then we all know what we’re going to do to help set up the final assault.”

They all nod at each other.

“Take as much time as you need to head out,” Cathy says. “I can set it up so that we’re always connected. We’ll all have a way into this place, from wherever we go, just by activating this stone.” 

Cathy holds out four stones for each of them to take.

“Keep it close, keep it safe,” Cathy says.

Anne, after a moment, stands up.

“I’m grabbing some rations, then I’m headed out.”

Catherine is first to approach. “Be safe. If you need any of us, all you need to do is summon.”

Anne nods. “I know.”

With a final look at the others, she leaves, portaling out to head towards where she last saw her daughter.

Catherine looks at Cathy.

“I’ll be alright, just gotta clean up some things,” Cathy replies. “Go on. I’ll be fine.”

Catherine turns to Anna. “Ready?”

Anna, with a final look back towards Katherine’s room, nods.

Cathy’s the only one left.

She looks back at the memorial.

“... we’ll make you proud, Kit. Promise.”

The winds pick up as Cathy leaves to fulfill her mission and promise.