#and no i don't mean ''b-but we're both girls'' and they maybe hold hands twice but ultimately never end up in an established relationship

[dragongirlafro]

gotta be honest–the influx of "Yuri" memes over the last few months was starting to get on my nerves, but since gf and i started watching an actual good yuri anime i have something i'm able to apply them to :>

(it's The Magical Revolution of The Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady btw go watch it rn if you like gay women)

[kaiparker-avengerssmut]

Twice Shy

Pairings | Preserum!Steve Rogers x f!reader

Warnings | smut, loss of virginity, fingering, implied oral (m reviving), vaginal sex, unprotected sex

Word count | 2.8k

Summary | you and Steve lose your virginities to each other

Masterlist

Exuberant. If Bucky had to describe the look in his best pal's face, he'd have to use the word exuberant.

When Bucky had suggested the double date, Steve had groaned - long and drawn out - but had relented with a deep sigh. His agreement didn't stop the man from dragging his feet the entire way there, though. A habit that Bucky had come to accept if he was to ever get Steve to meet a dame.

And this one, Steve seemed rather enamoured with. Well, that was an colossal understatement. Steve was completely and utterly besotted with her. The dame was beautiful, even Bucky could admit that. She was the kind of beauty that was often overlooked; it's innocence often snuffed out by the more...sexy girls that filled the dance hall.

Steve's hands rested on your hips, slender fingers curled against the soft fabric of your dress as he slowly swayed with you. You probably looked just as out of place and awkward as him, your hands tentatively rested against his shoulders as your eyes darted about the room.

"Y/n?" Steve mumbled, eyes centred on your lips. Your eyes snapped to his, baby blue calming as you bit your lip.

"Yes, Steve?" You murmured, starting to feel slightly flushed as the boy leant closer.

"Can I- can I kiss you?" Steve pondered, eyes searching your face for the usual disgust or pity that came with that question whenever he asked it. But he didn't find any.

Instead, you nodded. Sure and slow. Steve leant in, a small smile playing on his pink lips as he leant closer. The feeling of them fluttering over your cheek, plump and slightly wet nearly made you swoon. It lingered, his long eyelashes feathering against your skin.

Then, he pulled away. You dropped your hands from his shoulders as you felt your cheeks grow hot and your skin burn deliciously where the kiss still tingled. Steve stepped away from you abruptly, a pink flush spreading from the tips of his ears to under the collar of his shirt.

"Thank you, for teaching me how to dance." Steve muttered awkwardly, finally meeting your eyes with his. You smiled warmly at that.

"It was a pleasure. Goodbye, Steve." You mumbled back as you began to walk away, by Steve's thin hand around yours stopped you. You gave him a puzzled look.

"I hope we can, uh, do this again sometime? Maybe grab some food?" Steve asked, scratching the back of his neck as his body caved in with the nerves.

"I'd love that." You beamed brightly, your cheeks growing even hotter as Steve tentatively lifted your hand to his face and brushed his lips across the back.

"Until next time, then." Steve whispered and you bit your lip.

"Until next time." Then you walked away, and Steve sighed. Something caught his attention, a grinning Bucky out the corner of his eye. Steve breathed a little laugh, but the goofy grin on his face would not go away.

The next time Bucky dragged Steve out with him, you came. And the time after that, the time after, and the time after that. It was their thing now, Bucky often had a new dame on his arm whilst both and you and Steve grew more confident and comfortable around one another.

Cheek kisses were now a common occurrence, as well as Steve's skinny arm wrapped around your waist or his small had grasped in yours. He always had to be touching you somehow in public now, a claim that you were his and that everyone else should back off.

Your ma said it was unusual, that he was a) so skinny and b) that he was so possessive. But you found it endearing, it was just his way of telling others you were already his.

It was that night that Steve finally took you back to their apartment, Bucky having shipped off to England merely a week prior.

It was bittersweet, really. You knew Steve planned signing up again, planned on enlisting. You knew this was going to be his goodbye, his final hurrah with you before he most likely never saw you again.

And quite honestly, you'd made peace with that. The man you'd come to love was perusing what he loved, and even though that didn't seem to be you, you were happy for him.

"So where are you gonna be from this time?" You pondered as Steve fiddled with the key, finally jamming the cool metal into the lock. He hummed as he turned the key, the door sliding open as he tilted his head in thought.

"I was thinkin' Jersey, but I'm not quite sure yet." Steve remarked as he strolled into the small flat, you closely on his heels as the keys were thrown onto a brittle-looking table with a jingling clang. "I just wan' to get out there, ya know? Men like Bucky are riskin' their lives and I'm here, unscathed. It doesn't seem right."

You nodded solemnly, but the bright smile still stayed firm on your lips as Steve led you through the small apartment.

"I just hope I can be in the 107th, you know? Fight with Buck and just make my dad proud." Steve sighed, bordering on dreamily as he flopped down on the sofa - which was clearly in need for some heavy TLC.

You stood awkwardly, hands clasped in front of you as Steve twiddled his thumbs in his lap.

"I just hope that we win, is all." He finished and you gave him a bright smile.

"Well, they won't without you, soldier." You hummed and Steve's baby blue eyes peered up at you through thick lashes.

"You think so?" He pondered and you placed a gentle hand on his cheek.

"Truly. Our country needs a little guy - someone who will fight for those over there rather than those he had at home. As much as we're struggling..."

"There's men dying and no one seems to care." Steve finished your sentence and you nodded.

"Exactly." You muttered as you perched yourself of the sofa beside his skinny frame.

"Can I kiss you?" Steve's low voice mumbled, eyes flicking precariously between your lips and your eyes. Your breathing shallowed, and your heat slipped a beat.

"You know you don't have to ask anymore, soldier." You murmured, turning your face slightly to the side to giving him access to your cheek. But thin fingers grasped your chin in a soft hold, tilting your head back towards Steve as an amused glint flashed in his eyes.

"That's not what I'm asking." Steve's voice rumbled.

"Oh." You paused, hope glimmering in your eyes and Steve couldn't help himself.

His lips were soft against yours, if not a little chapped. It was a little messy, clumsy perhaps, but to you it was perfect. When you pulled away, Steve's lips were spread into a gleeful grin, eyes alight with joy.

"That was..."

"Awful." Steve cut you off and you were both set into spinning fits of laughter. You fell back against the sofa, hands clutched over your stomachs as your wriggled.

"I'm sorry. There are probably better first kisses than me." You said once you began to calm down, wiping the little tear that'd escaped from your cheek.

"You're the only girl I want to kiss." Steve whispered, head lolling to the side to look at you again. You swallowed thickly, eyes finding his lips again - slightly swollen from your disaster of a kiss.

You stumbled back together, knees caving as the backs bumped into the mattress. You and Steve fell together, arms still wrapped around one-another as you both giggled, his lips pecking against yours repeatedly.

You pulled Steve into a longer, deeper kiss - hands cupping his cheeks as his supported himself over you on the bed.

"How should we...start?" You mumbled against his lips, pulling away slightly and opening your eyes to find baby blue gazing down on you lovingly.

"Buck said I need to get you wet? But I'm not sure how I'm meant to, uh, do that?" Steve said doubtfully, both of you bursting back into giggles again as Steve's head dropped to rest in the crook of your neck.

"Maybe you're supposed to use your fingers?" You suggested, lifting a hand and wiggling your fingers. Steve blew a raspberry into your neck as he laughed, your own head through back as you wriggled beneath him with laughter.

The goofiness seemed to cease for a moment as Steve took his head from your neck, meeting your eyes with a soft stare.

"Are you sure about this?" He murmured, eyes loving. You nodded, lip trapped between your teeth.

"Yes." Steve sighed, ducking his head for a moment.

"But are you really sure? I mean, you'd be losing your virginity to, well," Steve looked down at himself, scrawny and small, "me."

You giggled, rubbing your fingers through his blonde locks, manoeuvring them away from his face.

"Of course I want it to be you, I wouldn't be here if I didn't, silly." You expressed, placing a quick kiss to his lips before looking up at the man through your lashes.

"I just need to know you're sure about this, doll." Steve mumbled, gaze burning your skin.

"I'm sure. D'ya know why?" You murmured, and Steve shook his head. "Because I love you." You uttered the words for the first time.

Steve's head snapped up. He couldn't believe it. He never thought he'd ever hear those words falling from a dame's lips, not about him.

"Y-you mean it?" He whispered, voice cracking. You nodded.

"Every word." Steve's heart swelled, his lips spreading gorgeously into a sweet smile.

"I love you too, y/n." Steve beamed, and his lips were on yours again. It was clumsy, sort of messy with inexperience but it was all you wanted in that moment.

Steve's slim fingers began to trail down your body, hiking your skirt around your waist so he could finger the band of your underwear.

"And you're sure about this? We can wait if you're not ready..." Steve asked again, browsed raised.

"Are you sure it isn't you that's not sure? It's fine if you're not Steve, we can wait until you're ready." You countered pulling back from him. Your thumb smoothed over his cheek, a touch that he nuzzled into.

"I'm sure, just a little nervous is all." Steve reassured. You smiled and pecked his lips.

"Wanna know a secret?" You whispered against his mouth and Steve nodded, a small movement. "I am too."

With that you were both laughing again, your legs kicking as Steve's fingers tickled over the inside of your thigh.

"Steve! Steve stop! It tickles!" You panted and gasped through your laughter, Steve's lips curled into something of a triumphant smile against your neck as he slowed his fingers.

"Mmmm, only because I love ya." Steve murmured, placing a kiss to the base on your neck before pulling away enough to help you take your blouse and skirt off.

He froze, ogling your body as his eyes flickered over your brassiere, your heaving chest, your panties, your slightly spread thighs.

"You're so gorgeous, sweetheart." Steve murmured and you giggled.

"C'mere." You mumbled, hooking your fingers into the collar of Steve's shirt and pulling him down on top of you again. He squeaked in surprise, but soon a breathy chuckle was slipping through his lips and onto yours.

You moaned when his fingers tugged down your panties, tracing your lips. He was mesmerised, eyes wide as he watched himself play with your folds.

"Steve!" You moaned when his fingers fluttered over your clit, your thighs snapping shut and your back arching. He pulled away instantly, worry in his beautiful eyes.

"Did I hurt you? Did I do something wrong?" His voice was panicked, filled with the dread of hurting his best girl. You shook your head, taking his hand in one of yours and guiding his fingers back to the same spot.

"No. It felt good. S'good!" You were moaning again, his fingers finding their way over your clit again in little circles.

You pulled away, lips shiny with spit and precum as your tongue smoothed over then. You moaned at the taste of him, Steve's musky sent lingering on your tongue.

"Where did you learn that?" Steve was breathy, voice merely a pant as his chest rose and fell rapidly. His face was red, pleasure still warped over his perfect features as his elbows propped up his thin frame. You smirked, lips curling up as your wiped your mouth with the back of your hand.

"Bucky teaches you about women, Angie teaches me about men." You hummed, placing a chaste kiss to each of Steve's hip bones before crawling over him.

"Well you're very good at it." Steve gasped, eyes sliding shut when he felt your lips on his. You giggled, the laugh flirtatious when you felt his hands on your hips.

He flipped you over, rolling across the bed in the limited space it offered as you both laughed. He placed small pecks all over your face, lips brushing lovingly over your forehead, your cheeks, your chin, the tip of your nose, and finally your lips.

You deepened the kiss, lips locking as your arms secured around his neck. Your hips jumped a little when you felt his tip bump your clit, still slightly sensitive from the orgasm he pulled from you with his fingers. You squirmed, Steve smirking against your lips.

"Steve, please, I need you inside me." Your lips formed a round the words desperately as he pulled away. His face dropped into seriousness, eyes glinting with question.

"Are you sure, doll? We can stop if you need to." You loved how sweet he was, how caring he was. You shook your head, lip tucking between your teeth.

"Please." You repeated, hand cupping his cheek as Steve nuzzled against your touch.

"Okay." He brought a hand down, tickling from your throat to your stomach as he did so. You wriggled beneath him, shrieking with laughter as he chuckled.

You settled once he stopped, nothing but love in your eyes as you watched the way the little crease appeared between his brows, which were furrowed in concentration as he lined himself up with you.

You both moaned when he pushed forwards, hips snug against yours as his length filled you up. His size was impressive for his body, the slim man hiding a good 7 inches.

Steve stilled, breath heavy as you panted against each other's mouths. You could feel the stretch, the slight burn tingling through your walls as you whimpered.

"You okay? Should I- should I stop? I can just pull out gently, it's no big dea-" Steve began to ramble worry in his face as he began to sit back, his length slowly sliding out of you.

"No. No, I'm fine. Just, give me a minute?" You mumbled, eyes pleading with his as Steve let himself slide back in to the hilt.

"Yeah, okay. Okay. As long as I'm not hurting you." Steve whispered, placing a delicate kiss to your hair line. After a moment you wiggled your hips, the feeling of Steve's damp lips resting against your slightly-sweaty forehead and his cock seated within you becoming too much.

"You can move now." You mumbled, and Steve smiled.

"You sure, princess?" He double checked, only starting to slide out of you when you nodded again.

The pace was slow, loving. Heavy breaths and pants were shared between open mouths; hair stuck to skin with sweat; broken moans hung low in the air.

"Oh, Steve!" You cried out when his fingers started fiddling with your clit again, your hips attempting to thrust up against his.

"Is that the right spot, sweetheart?" Steve asked, but he clearly knew it was by the way your eyes had disappeared into your skull. He kept up the little ministrations, rubbing until he felt you on the precipice of another orgasm.

"Please, Steve, more." Your demand made him smirk, the man picking up the pace just a little until you were writhing beneath him, hands clutching his small shoulders.

Somehow, it hit you like a ton of bricks, your walls fluttered and Steve's eyes widened. He quickly pulled out, letting his fingers pull you through your release as little white spots speckled your vision.

Steve's other hand moved to his length, rubbing up and down as fast as he could before he was releasing himself onto your stomach, a plane of white on perfect skin.

"Wow." You breathed and Steve couldn't hold back his laugh, the man collapsing on top of you and letting his head rest on your neck.

His laughter vibrates against your skin, your own joining his in a melody of joy as your hands smoothed through his now-damp hair.

taglists

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[vanderlustwords]

Liquor and Loose Lips

(not my gif)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Prompt: 15. Drunkenly confessing feelings

Summary: There are countless times Bucky has shared drinks with you. No matter how much he drinks, he’s always careful with guarding his feelings close to his chest. Maybe it’s the cocktail, maybe it’s the way the moon looks tonight, maybe it’s the way you look under the streetlight. Whatever it is, Bucky can’t hold it in anymore.

Note: My first Bucky fic! Feedback is always appreciated :) oneshot dedicated to @empyreanwritings​

Count: 2432

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Tequila.

Not Bucky's go-to ever, but he'll drink it if someone offers. 

Vodka.

A taste he's grown to love. During his time when he studied in Russia, there was probably nothing better to drink and help pass the time. 

Rum.

He likes it, but mostly because when he drinks it, he thinks this is what you'd taste like.

And that might be as close as he can get.

Whiskey.

Bucky finds himself in a fight when he has too much. 

Cocktails. 

No one could probably tell, but Bucky did have a specific cocktail. Something he enjoyed at a leisurely pace. A blend of rye whiskey, extra dry vermouth, and maraschino liqueur. He likes that it's smooth, it's dry bite keeping him coming back. 

Bucky has a high tolerance, he always has. No one could outdrink him, and you'd be hard-pressed ever to find him drunk. But he likes a good party. He likes being able to take care of you if you drank too much, even though it's not really his job.

Because you're not his girl. 

"Bucky!"

He turns over to see you coming over with a huge grin and rosy cheeks.

"Are you drunk already, doll?" He laughs as you stumble into him at your last step, fumbling over a faulty tile. He catches you easily as he wraps one of his arms around you as you fling your arms around his waist.

"God, no, maybe, yes, no," you decidedly answer with a laugh. "I think Tony poured me way too much rum in my last drink."

"And you drank it?"

"You know I love rum."

Bucky merely sighs playfully, painfully aware of how warm your body feels against his. How perfectly you fit under his arm and into his side. His fingers ache to flex, to hold you more tightly, but he can't. 

So, he helps you stand upright as you cheekily blow a raspberry at him.

"Careful now, you don't want to finish off so early when the night's just begun," Bucky tells you, and you blow air out of your mouth before grabbing a water bottle. 

"C'mon, it's my first party since the breakup. Surely this is better than having to hang inside watching b-rated chick flicks, eating an unhealthy amount of pizza and ice cream while I cry," you wryly quirk your lips.

But Bucky doesn't say that he secretly enjoyed those times.

Not you crying.

That was awful, and it broke his heart to see you cry like that. But there was something about hanging in your apartment for long periods with nothing to do but watch movies and eat together.

It was like on some level, only the two of you existed in those moments. It helped that you would snuggle up to Bucky under the blankets, and sometimes even fell asleep.

"You sure you're up for tonight? I know Sam is here too," Bucky asked quietly. 

You sighed but shook your head. "I can't avoid him anymore. Besides, I can't keep you locked up with me forever, either."

Bucky wishes he could say he wouldn't mind. 

He looks at you, watching as your turn to your head to look out into the living room where Sam is standing talking with a bunch of guys.

For the longest time, you were Sam's girl. 

Bucky has known you since pre-K, then Sam came in the picture in junior high, and when the two of you started dating in high school, everyone was surprised.

It was no secret that Sam was a notorious player, never have been in a long-term relationship. But the two of you had always clicked, and Bucky couldn't help but feel that it was like a cliche movie. 

The player settles down for the one girl who's always been by his side and keeps up with him the way no one else can.

Bucky was convinced this was only destined to end happily ever after. 

And so, he kept quiet about his feelings.

But then midway through the first year of university, Sam broke up with you. Sitting on the couch crying your eyes out, you had told Bucky that Sam said he just wasn't ready for a relationship right now. It was amicable, you didn't hate Sam, but it had also hurt a lot. He didn't know what to say when you had said that perhaps you just weren't the girl who could get a player to retire from his game. 

It made Bucky's chest ache painfully because he's stopped looking at other girls for a long time now. 

"Alright," Bucky decides, "finish up that water bottle, and we're going to find some duds to destroy beer pong at."

You smile at him, tipping the water bottle all the way up as you finish the last of it. Chucking the water bottle aside, you take Bucky's outstretched hand as he leads you into the living room. 

You pass Sam, giving him only a nod of acknowledgment as you keep walking. You hear Bucky give him a brief greeting, but he doesn't stop to chit-chat with his friend.

Entering the area for games, the two of you arrive just in time to enter into a new game with two strangers that seemed to have been dominating the game the entire night.

The two frat boys looked at you, making wolf-whistling sounds that made Bucky quirk his brow. You didn't react to it, but you did meet Bucky's eyes from the side. He gave you a knowing smile as the game started.

Sinking cup after cup, the game ends way too quickly, and the frat boys aren't too happy about being trounced, but they're not willing to start something with Bucky Barnes, so they leave quietly.

Bucky starts to walk off, but you pull his sleeve.

"Let's play a couple more rounds," you smile at him. He tilts his head, a little surprised as you usually don't like to play the same game in a row, but he nods nonetheless.

Seven rounds. 

You don't call it quits until after seven rounds. With Bucky by your side, you never lose a game, but you are feeling buzzed again. 

"Done with the games?" Bucky teases.

You're about to answer, but the words get caught in your throat. 

You probably weren't meant to see it, but you did. Sam's on the dance floor with some girl you don't recognize, she might be in her second year of university. 

They're grinding and kissing, and even though you're pretty sure you're starting to move on, it still hits you in the gut. 

There's a momentary flashback to when Sam first broke up with you and the painful feeling of knowing somehow, you weren't enough. 

You know Sam didn't mean it that way, but that's how it felt.

Bucky follows your line of sight and feels his gut sink. He doesn't know what to do other than to move to stand in front of you. You blink, your view being blocked as you look into Bucky's eyes.

"Let's grab some drinks," Bucky turns you around, pushing you towards the kitchen. 

He thinks it might still be too early for you to be out and partying when you've got a broken heart, but when you don't cry, he's impressed.

You swallow the lump in your throat, coughing lightly to clear your throat as you turn to Bucky. 

"This party blows," you tell him, watching him quirk his brow with a smile. "You know, Tony has the good stuff up in his study room."

You don't say anything, but Bucky grins right away, knowing what you're insinuating.

"Meet me out back?" You lick your lips.

"You've got yourself a rendezvous, doll."

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Bucky finds you not too far from the house, just down the block where the road curves. You're sitting on the edge of the sidewalk under the streetlight. 

Normally, Bucky would scold you for being so reckless, but it's late in the night, and you've got a look on your face that he just decides to let this one slide.

He walks up to you, taking a seat and shows you the treasure he brought.

You chortle, "I knew Tony was hiding the good stuff."

"We're probably going to hear about it from him tomorrow," Bucky smirks, but that doesn't stop him from cracking the bottle open. 

"That's a tomorrow us problem," you shrug, causing him to laugh.

You both take a shot of the premium vodka Bucky stole, licking your lips at how smooth it goes down. 

Even as good as it was, you still make a face and a displeased noise.

Bucky turns to you and laughs.

"I knew I should've brought the rum instead," he jokes, and you lean over and push him playfully with your shoulder.

"You fool," you smile, "there was rum, and you took vodka? Rookie mistake."

Bucky throws his head back with laughter. There's something that feels warm in your stomach as you watch Bucky laugh, and you wonder if it's the vodka.

"Here," you say, turning over slightly pick up two glasses you had brought out earlier.

"What's this?" Bucky asks as he looks at the cocktail. The orange color looks familiar to him, and there's a toothpick with cherries in it. 

You quirk your eyebrow at him as if he should know. "Your favorite cocktail? The Brooklyn cocktail. I think it should be called the Bucky Barnes cocktail, though."

Bucky takes the drink slowly, sipping it. He's not sure if it's because he's already had so many drinks tonight, or if it's the fact that you made it, but it tastes better than usual.

"I hope you appreciate this. I stole the cherries."

"From where?"

You were silent.

"From where?" Bucky jokingly begged.

The two of you burst into laughter as you share drinks under the night sky.

"How did you know this was my favorite cocktail? I drink everything, and I've never mentioned this drink," Bucky asked, savoring the flavor.

You look at him with furrow brows.

"What do you mean?" You lick your lips. "It's the only cocktail you'll drink twice."

It was so small, something no one else ever has noticed. Bucky likes to drink, and he really will drink everything. It's easy for people to assume he likes vodka the best. 

Fuck, he's so in love. 

But he downs the rest of the drink along with his feelings.

The night passes quietly with the two of you drinking from the vodka bottle, and Bucky is feeling the liquor a little more than usual.

"This is so dumb," you sigh.

"What is?" Bucky asks softly back.

"I dragged you and myself to this party, but now we're sitting out here on the curb."

Bucky shrugs. "This right here is the coolest party 'round town."

You laugh, "Not sure if two people make it a party."

"What does it make then?"

"A date, maybe?" You say.

It's meant innocently, but Bucky's chest flares with butterflies, and he's gripping the edge of the curb tightly.

Suddenly, you groan as you lean against his shoulder.

"Be honest, you think I'm tragic, don't you?" The warmth immediately seeps through Bucky's shirt against your temple. 

"Not at all, doll," Bucky licks his bottom lip.

You pinch his side lightly. "Doll this, doll that. Careful, Barnes, I might just fall for you."

And maybe it's the alcohol that has him relaxed. 

Maybe it's the way you look under the streetlight. 

Maybe it's the way you look like you don't believe you can be anyone's entire universe.

Whatever it is, it has Bucky leaning over your face. You look up, caught in his steel-blue eyes. Your breath hitches when you feel his breath ghost over your cheeks and on your lips. 

His other hand comes to cup your face, thumb dragging from the corner of your mouth across your cheekbone.

Your eyes flutter closed as you unknowingly move closer. 

"What are you doing?" You whisper.

You open your eyes when Bucky doesn't answer. He only swallows visibly. 

"How long?" You ask instead.

"Before Sam," Bucky's forehead touches yours as your noses brush.

Your jaw clenches because that was ages ago. 

You come to a sobering realization that Bucky has loved you longer than you have ever known. 

There's a nagging thought in both of your heads that this could be a mistake. 

But as quick as Bucky's lips brush against yours, he pulls back. 

You blink.

Bucky coughs, standing up.

"Sorry," Bucky smiles contritely. 

Because the thing is, even if you're not Sam's girl, you're not Bucky's either.

And he's not about to risk something just because his entire body feels like he's about to go through vertigo if he doesn't kiss you. 

You stare at Bucky as he gives you that goofy grin, scratching the back of his head. 

"Let's head back inside," Bucky starts walking, "I bet Tony is white girl wasted at this point."

You watch Bucky's back as you stand up.

The truth is, you don't understand. You don't know what the right decision is or if you'll regret it in the morning. 

The only thing you know is that things have changed regardless of what you choose to do.

There's this uncomfortable feeling in your gut as you bite your nail before running your hand through your hair frustratedly. 

You look to the side, huffing before you look back.

"Bucky!" 

You're already running when he turns around as you collide into his body, hand cupping his jaw with a bruising kiss. 

Bucky responds immediately, both his hands coming around to hold your face. You feel the ring on his thumb as it's pressed just right on the corner of your lips. 

He kisses you like he's known your lips forever. Even though the last thing you drank was vodka, there's still an underlying tone of rum, and Bucky thinks rum might be his new favorite. 

The smell of orange blossoms and dry leaves invades his nose as he pulls back, both breathless. 

He doesn't dare pull back any further, feeling your warm breath on his lips. 

He catches your eyes, the way they flutter to his as your chest heaves. Your fingers move to hold his fingers that are cupping your jaw and neck.

And Bucky falls all over. 

"I'm in love with you, doll," Bucky confesses, pulling you into another consuming kiss. 

Cars pass you, their headlights shining just momentarily on the two of you as you share something new from drinks. 

And whatever panic tomorrow brings, you'll at least have known kissing Bucky Barnes tastes like a promise.

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

It was a love story from the very beginning.

Vol. XXXVI

Goodbye my Love. Goodbye Stranger.

(8x17)

Hello My Friends! How are you? Another important meta from season 8, and we are here... We are in the crypt scene!! Our hearts will break... 😭

I want to say thank you to my friend @agusvedder she made the gifs for this meta and discussed with me the episode.

Okay... Let's do this... **Deep breath**

Sam knows

In episode 8x17 Goodbye Stranger, Sam and Dean knew Castiel was behaving weird.

Although that, Dean had prayed to him because he was worried about Sam, but as we learned in the previous volume of this Chronicles, he didn't pray just for that, but also, because he wanted to see Castiel. Because Dean missed him and he was worried about him too.

So, when Sam discovered Dean was praying to him, even knowing Castiel was acting weird, he didn't just ask once, but twice about why his brother prayed to him...

This first time, Sam is in awe, but this second time... With the whole thing digested, and with Castiel off, Sam is more direct.

DEAN: Well, he puts the "ass" in "Cas," huh?

SAM: He's definitely off.

DEAN: Off? He hasn't been right since he got back from Purgatory. We still don't know how he got out of there

Okay, this is a discussion the brother had had already, maybe a lot of times. They both were agreed about Castiel behaving weird. Then... Sam has this clear, but it caught his attention Dean's doesn't have things clear apparently, because he prayed to him. So... Here is the question, direct, and without anesthesia...

And Dean's face is acting everything. Okay, you can argue with me about this point, because later on this episode we will have this dialogue...

SAM: I'm fine.

DEAN: No, you're not fine. You haven't been fine since the first trial. That's why I called Cas.

Yes, Dean prayed to Castiel because he was worried about Sam, we already knew that... But... What we know too is... He prayed waiting for Castiel to appear right there in his room, remember? So... One of the reason, the big one, is the necessity of Castiel to heal his brother, to protect him, but the Hidden One, that one that makes Dean try to hide, and put himself flustered when Sam asked him the reason why, I because he wanted to see Cas, because he's worried about him, and he missed him. Because he loves him.

So here he had the perfect motive again to show his brother he called Cas because he was worried about his little brother's healthy... Perfect... No homo there my friends... Just a worried brother calling for his totally platonic bro/friend to help him.

But Sam is insightful and clever, I want you to jump with me to the last scene... We can do that because we all know this episode like our names, so... A little more of Sammy knows...

After the crypt scene, they were back on the road in baby, Castiel had left, as we know, and this is what Dean says to Sam...

SAM: So... what happened? I mean, Cas touched the tablet, and it reset him to his factory settings or something?

DEAN: I don't know. And I don't care. All I know is that he is off the reservation with a-a heavenly WMD. Listen, man, I can't take any more lies -- from anyone.

Dean is mad, Sam gets it immediately, he's mad. But not at Sam. Sam gets that too.

Because when Dean avoids a topic... Is because that's really affecting him...

And then... This song starts to play... And watch Sammy's face...

These are the lyrics from Goodbye Stranger

It was an early morning yesterday

I was up before the dawn

And I really have enjoyed my stay

But I must be moving on

Like a king without a castle

Like a queen without a throne

I'm an early morning lover

And I must be moving on

Okay, this is a lover of one night, a lover that doesn't get strains to anyone. After Dean confessed his feelings to Castiel on that crypt, Castiel decides to run away with the tablet, leaving Dean alone, heartbroken and feeling unrequited. Again.

Now I believe in what you say

Is the undisputed truth

But I have to have things my own way

To keep me in my youth

We are still talking about Castiel here.

Like a ship without an anchor

Like a slave without a chain

Just the thought of those sweet ladies

Sends a shiver through my veins

Castiel deciding to leave again, he rejected Dean's feelings (from Dean's POV) and help. He's a lone wolf. B

And I will go on shining

Shining like brand new

I'll never look behind me

My troubles will be few

Goodbye stranger it's been nice

Hope you find your paradise

Tried to see your point of view

Hope your dreams will all come true

And we had reached Dean's POV at this point, he's mad, and very very angry. Because he was rejected and Cas didn't trust him. So he's saying goodbye to him.

Goodbye Mary, goodbye Jane

Will we ever meet again

Feel no sorrow, feel no shame

Come tomorrow, feel no pain

Dean pushing down all his feelings again.

Sweet devotion (Goodbye, Mary)

It's not for me (Goodbye, Jane)

Just give me motion (Will we ever)

To set me free (Meet again?)

In the land and the ocean (Feel no sorrow)

Far away (Feel no shame)

It's the life I've chosen (Come tomorrow)

Every day (Feel no pain)

So goodbye, Mary (Goodbye, Mary)

Goodbye, Jane (Goodbye, Jane)

Will we ever (Will we ever)

Meet again? (Meet again?)

This is Dean trying to say goodbye to his feeling for Castiel, is not for me, goodbye sweet devotion, because he feels so hurted and heartbroken, he decides to push everything down, because he feel unrequited.

Now... Let's come back to one important thing right here... Megstiel time...

Megstiel brought us Jealous!Dean back again

The classic Megstiel scene, is quite interesting, because Meg can't stop to seduce Cas by throwing at him a lot of sugestives quotes... I won't talk about the whole conversation, Agua is making a gifset I will relate with this meta because sadly, I just can put 10 gifs to show you all the things I saw, but what I want to point here is an idea I constructed in my head since I met Castiel. Please read this mini meta here I wrote time ago, about Castiel's seduction techniques.

And you will catch what I need to show you now in this piece of dialogue...

CASTIEL: These wounds have festered. [CASTIEL wraps gauze around one of MEG's wrists.]

MEG: You really do know how to make a girl's nethers quiver, don't you? [MEG is sitting on the couch, holding an open bottle of booze, she's been cleaned up a bit.]

CASTIEL: I am aware of how to do that. Although it doesn't usually involve cleaning wounds.

Did you read that?!!!!!! Cas is aware about seduction techniques!!

As I said on my mini meta, I'm pretty sure Castiel used his seduction techniques with Dean... And he still does that! Because HE KNOWS HOW TO DO THAT!!

Plus his innate sexiness... BOOM! HERE YOU HAVE THE HOTTEST ANGEL ON THE GARRISON.

Irresistible... PrayxDean.

Okay, let's talk about Jealous!Dean. We had two scenes in which we had Dean feeling jealous in Meg presence.

First scene, and how writers and producers are very aware of the fandom's ships... And they use it.

Dean is saying this with disgust, why he feels jealous always about Meg? Well, maybe because Castiel kissed Meg so passionate that time? And they had that special friendship in season 7???

And then this one... Dean acting like cockblocker, really Dean? Control your jealous face please 😏

The Crypt Scene

Okay, we're here, Carver era, crypt scene, a place in which Dean had to say I LOVE YOU to Cas, making Destiel canon, but he did, because Jensen's was so right back then, Dean wasn't prepared...

But... What happened in this crypt? Everything!

Okay, First of all, I need you to rewind the video, at the beginning of this episode, remember that scene with a lot of Dean's killed by Castiel, with Naomi watching? Yeah... She made Cas kill a lot.of Dean bc she knew what Cas felt for him. So she needed to be sure Cas will kill Dean when it will be needed. She was a bitch...

Then... When CAS and Dean were alone at the crypt, and Dean had the angel tablet in his hands... The program in Castiel's head started to roll. Dean noticed Castiel was trying to get the tablet, and he didn't trust in Cas because he was acting weird... So... He tried to get from the angel some truth... Like... How he had been pulled out from Purgatory...

CASTIEL: I can't let you take that, Dean.

DEAN: Can't or won't?

CASTIEL: Both.

DEAN: How did you get out of Purgatory, Cas?

Immediately, after seeing that wasn't HIS CAS, Dean threw that question.

The entire scene flips between the crypt and Naomi, and how CAS is trying so hard not to obey and keep Dean safe.

DEAN: Just tell me how you got out of Purgatory. Be honest with me -- for the first time since you've been back -- [DEAN nods towards the stone he's still holding] and this is yours. [CASTIEL's blade drops into his hand.]

Dean needed to hear the truth. Everything, he needed to hear too... Castiel didn't stay because he didn't want to come back with him... He needed Cas to say that was a lie too...

DEAN: Cas. Cas, I don't know what the hell is wrong with you, but if you're in there and you can hear me, you don't have to do this. [CASTIEL attacks, DEAN blocks the blow with the stone.] Cas! [Flashes of light, thunder rumbles.]

Dean sees Castiel isn't there, he's defending himself against a robot, where is his friend? He tries to call h back, to drag him to reality. He tries because he believes he can reach him.

And while this is happening and Cas began to hit Dean, Naomi tries to keep him under control, because Castiel is fighting back strongly, Naomi wants him to protect the tablet and kill Dean, and Cas wants to protect DEAN.

NAOMI: Do you realize what that tablet can do for us?

CASTIEL: I...

NAOMI: For heaven?

CASTIEL: I won't hurt Dean.

NAOMI: Yes. You will. You are.

The scene is too intense, and Cas keeps hitting Dean, and Dean keeps calling him. Till... This happens...

Look at Dean's hand, trying to reach Castiel...

Dean is not just trying to reach Cas with his hand, but also with his words... He's sure Castiel is there, and he's sure he will listen, and he's sure Castiel will come back to him. That's why he tries with everything he has... With honesty. Tries to get him back with honest feelings and words... We need you... Not hell... Cas... I NEED YOU. The same words he used when he convinced him to follow him in Purgatory. I need you, don't leave me. This I NEED YOU is so so important, is the replacement of the I LOVE YOU that never happens. So is the big I NEED YOU. Dean's naked feelings. His last shot. His bare soul. Right there. Chest open, heart beating.

Dean is waiting for Castiel's reaction after his confession, and immediately after that honest I NEED YOU, Castiel breaks connection, and he's back again.

Not the tablet, why not? Because the I NEED YOU is what makes Cas stop. And when he touches the tablet, and Crowley reveals the tablet was what kept Castiel disconnected with Naomi, why he still was disconnected after losing the tablet? Pure logic, my friends, the tablet had nothing to do with this disconnection, it was Dean's I NEED YOU, who worked, and brought Cas back. The love. The Profound Bond.

And it hurts a lot, because while Castiel was hitting him, Dean was grabbing his forearm, with fear, he thought Cas will kill him... But he just couldn't stop grabbing him, he couldn't stop being close to him like that. He has to get his angel back... And when CAS reach's his face with his hand... Dean grabbed Castiel's forearm again, you have to rewatch the scene is so romantic and angsty, Dean was terrified, but he just remained there... Kneeled... Tryin to make Cas to hear him, and trying to get him back, and he did it.

The big question the writers left to us, we already know the answer...

DEAN: Well, w-what broke the connection?

CASTIEL: I don't know. I just know that I have to protect this tablet now.

DEAN: From Naomi?

CASTIEL: Yes. And from you.

Castiel said this, because it was Purgatory all over again, and Leviathans chasing after Cas, but this time, were Angels and a dangerous Naomi, so he needed to put that tablet safe and far away from everyone, and from Dean, to protect him again.

But what Dean understood here is CAS DOESN'T TRUST ME, AFTER I CONFESSED MY FEELINGS, HE DOESN'T TRUST ME. And his heart broke again, and we had to hear that song in the car... Dean is heartbroken, as the first half of the season showed us, tons of broken and eaten hearts... He's disappointed with CAS... And he's feeling rejected and unrequited...

To Conclude:

This episode showed us Sam Winchester getting the idea of what Dean feels for Castiel.

We also had Megstiel as a tool, because it brought us back Jealous Dean and we got the idea about how Castiel is conscious about seduction techniques.

But the most important scene, one of the most emblematic of Destiel scenes, was the Crypt scene. The I LOVE that never happened, but a huge love Confession from Dean to get Castiel back.

The confession brought Castiel back, but when the angel ran away from Dean, Dean felt rejected, heartbroken and unrequited, and he began to pushing all his feelings down again.

I hope you like this meta, I suffered a lot, but we'll.. I love this scene...

See you in the next one!

Tagging @metafest @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @angelneedshunter @trickster-archangel @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @mishka-the-angel-of-saturday @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @tenshilover20 @teddybeardoctor @pepevons

If you want to be tagged, just let me know.

If you want to read the previous metas from Season 8, here you have the links...

Vol. XXXI, Vol. XXXII, Vol. XXXIII, Vol. XXXIV and Vol. XXXV

Buenos Aires November 5th 2019 8:11 PM