#and not a wicked smoker and drinker 😂
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Ahm more vent stuff my brain is all over the place today
#you know it’s wild to jump from ONE shitty relationship into another#and then I was like yea no I’m not gonna date again#and then… meeting the nicest most amazing dude while fucking CRUISING#..I almost ruined this too because I didn’t think I wanted another relationship#but#he sees me#he treats me like I’m worth something#the other day I felt so bad because I just#we were sitting together and next thing I knew I was sobbing#you know how he dealt with it?#he just held me#asked if I wanted to talk about it or just let it out#you know how good it feels to just be able to let it out and not have to be all#yea well I was groomed and raped and mentally ruined#oh woah fuck#sometimes it’s wild to even admit to any of it cause I buried it from EVERYONE#my mom didn’t know I was seeing an older woman when I was 14#didn’t even know I was …‘dating’ at the time#didn’t know about the man who ruined my view on men until I was about 22..#in fact therapy has taught me to just. stop hiding it#even tho I.. still haven’t told them#I won’t either I refuse. they don’t need to know I don’t think they just need to know I’m happier now#and not a wicked smoker and drinker 😂#it’s why I journal so much it feels great to get it out
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