#and only two years ago my dad stopped fuckin around and built another bedroom in the house; which ended up being mine

[edgeofmyniall]

five

The vase, full of wildflowers, sat in the vase on Rachel’s desk two days after her date with Niall. They had been delivered during her planning period when no student was around. When she walked up to the front office, the secretary couldn’t stop smiling at her.

Rachel grabbed the flowers and headed back to her classroom fully aware of how hot her cheeks were. When she thought it was safe, she read the card. She knew who these were from.

“Since you don’t have a vase…” There was no name but under the near penmanship was a drawing of the lightning bolt and Harry Potter glasses that Niall had done his best with.

It was three weeks since their date, and Niall had spent any free time he could watching the Harry Potter movies. It’s better than not really knowing about them at all, right? If that was something Rach liked, he’d want to at least hold a good conversation about it. He took the sorting hat quiz thing and found out he’s a Hufflepuff. Researching the house online, he thought the quiz must be broke because he’s more brave than anything. He’d face his worst nightmare years ago. I wonder what House Rach is in, Niall thought and then he realized that ever since they kissed, he was to referring to her as Rach instead of Rachel.

He had grown attached to her. The texting back and forth, the phone calls that went well into the morning, the companionship he so longed for- through it all, even if it was a short amount of time, he had grown fond of Rachel. He wanted to spend more time with her.

But his heart hurt as he longed for Rachel. Was he doing an injustice to Isabella? It almost felt like he was cheating on her- almost. What would his kids think? How would they handle it? Would they hate him for moving on? Especially with a teacher? How could he do this to his family? He wanted to know.

So on a Friday night, it made it clear that the twins needed to be free so that they could have family night. Sitting around their triangle table, Niall laid out the board of  Monopoly as his nerves got the best of him. Mags and Mack looked on as Niall placed the car onto the start square.

“It’s been a while since we had family night. Figured we’d spend some time together.” Niall said as he shuffled the deck of cards.

“We’d have more time if you weren’t gone all the time,” Mags snapped as she slammed Alice down. Mack looked at his sister as he contemplated reaching for a game piece. “Saw your note on Miss Miles’ flowers.”

“Wait, dad’s been sneaking out with Miss Miles? Your teacher with the big a-“ Niall cut his eyes to his youngest before the word ass slipped out of his mouth. “Astronomical sense of literature.” Mack cleared his throat. “So Miss Miles could be our new mom?”

“I don’t think it’s that serious...yet.” Hearing her dad say those words cut Mags deep. She sat up quickly scooting the bench back before throwing her face piece at the wall. She stomped up the stairs before locking herself in her room. Niall looked at Mack before walking up the stairs to his daughter’s room. He knocked gently.

“Mags?” His daughter, who nearly always was the first answer him before he even got his sentence out didn’t speak a word. She didn’t come to the door, so Niall knocked a little harder. “Maggie? I want to talk to you. Please open the door.” He wiggled the door knob, but it didn’t budge.

Nothing. Now, Niall felt enraged. Who was Maggie to lock the door in his house? With Mack it was one thing. That kind of thing happened often enough that Niall had the drill handy to unscrew the door from the frame, but Mags? She would have never done this in a million years. It shocked Niall to the point that he was dumbfounded.

“Maggie Ryann Horan, open this door right now or I will take it down myself. One.”

Niall found himself standing in front of Maggie’s door with his hands on his hips, waiting for her to shuffle around to unlock her bedroom door.

“Two.” I swear to God Maggie if you don’t open this door…” Niall thought as he ran his hands through his hair. “I just want to talk.”

“Go away,” Mags’ voice trembled. Niall knew Mags was upset, but for what? Because he started dating again? It had been thirteen years- Niall wanted to be happy again. “Maggie…” Niall’s voice pleaded, “Talk to me.”

“GO TALK TO YOUR NEW GIRLFRIEND. IT’S NOT LIKE YOU CARE ABOUT MOM ANYMORE.” A thud came from the other side of the door as if Mags had thrown something at the barrier between daughter and father. “Fuck,” Mags whispered softly, stifling her crying.

“That’s it. I’m going to get the drill, and take down this damn door.” Niall walks away from the cream door, huffing out “God damn teenagers. I swear, they think they own the fuckin’ world,” when the click of the lock from Maggie’s door stops him in his tracks. She had unlocked the door when Niall had stepped away from the door well. Niall turned around and stood in front of the still closed door. He sighed, shaking his anger away- Mags need someone to talk to, not someone who was going to yell at her. He turns the knob and lets go of the cool metal. The door turns to expose a tear stained face of his daughter on her knees hovering over a broken framed picture of her mother. Maggie had thrown the picture of the young woman at the door when she was yelling at her father.

“I broke… I broke it,” Maggie cried as she picked up the photo through the jagged pieces of glass. Niall squatted down and took his daughter’s hands in his. The photo of the Isabella laid on the white carpet next to the broken metal frame and glass. “I...I got so angry. I’m so sorry Daddy, I don’t know-”

“Shhh, it’s alright. Just the vessel that broke. Let’s look here, okay?” Niall brushes the wet brown hair out of Mags’ face before kissing her temple. Niall pulls the picture out of the rubble and hands it to his daughter with no scarring. “See, there, Mom’s okay. We can get another frame, okay?” Mags shakes her head and begins to cry harder. Niall sits down on the carpeted floor and pulls his first born in his arms. “What’s going on with you?”

“I just,” Maggie goes quiet before speaking again, “I don’t know,” she whispers looking down at the palm of her hands.

“You got to talk to me so we can work this out. Is it because I’m dating?” Niall asked, his voice calm and soothing, which was far from what he was feeling. He was a nervous wreck. He had expected something like this out of Mack, but not Mags.

“Why do you have to date? Wasn’t mom enough?” Mags asked as she looked up with tear filled eyes to her father. Her cheeks and the tender parts of her eyes were blochted red- something she had inherited from her mother.

“Well…” Niall began. Mags laid her head on Niall’s shoulder, sniffling as she listened on. “your mom will always be enough. She’s the love of my life, but ever since she’s been gone, I felt empty. There’s this hole that has been made empty since Mom died. And I thought if I didn’t look at it- didn’t even acknowledge it, it would go away. But it didn’t, it kept getting bigger.

I kept myself from drowning with my grief by raising you two.”

“And by helping people in town?”

“That too. It kept me too busy to grieve. It’s basically like I forgot that the whole was there. Until I met Rachel. She was the one who is filling that hole for me.”

“But don’t you miss mom?”

“Every damn day. It hurts like hell some days, but I’ve grown used to it.”

“Miss Miles, she seems nice.”

“She’s very fond of you. Told me that she wanted to send your writings off.”

Mags listened to Niall with open ears. She still very much wished that she had known her mom, how she laughed and smelled- the stories her dad told her do no justice.

“She doesn’t want to be your mom. Rachel knows that you have one. We’re just seeing where things could go. You’ll always have a mom, you understand that, right?” Mags nods her head. The two of them sat there in silence until Mack yelled out that the game needed to start.

“Can she come over one night? For game night?” Mags asked before she walked out the door. Niall smiled as he scooped up the broken glass.

“Of course, baby girl.”

---

Niall sat in his office at Horan Building, LLC going over paperwork for upcoming projects when there was a knock on his door. Tommy, the high schooler who worked part time, was standing in the doorway. “There’s someone here to see you.”

Niall looked up from his desk and asked, “Who is it?”

“Some lady. She wanted to speak with you.”

“Alright, tell her I’ll be out in a minute.” Niall straighten his hair and pressed down his gray polo with golden embroidered Horan Building, LLC on the right side of the chest with his palms before standing up and making his way to his awaiting guest. It was half past four when he entered the front of the store only to find Rachel staring at the wall of plywood behind the counter.

“My my what a surprise,” Niall said catching Niall’s attention. He wrapped his arms around Rachel’s waist and hugged her tightly. He kissed her on the cheek, making her blush slightly. “What are you doing here?”

“Came to see where the famous Niall Horan works at, catch you on your turf. Show me around?” The couple began walking down each aisle as Niall tells Rachel all about the tools they import from across the country. He found his arm hung over her waist as he talked about how he built a rocking chair that he uses to this day. It was one of the first things he built.

“Well, the real reason why I came by today…” “Was to see my sexy face, I knew it.” Niall winked as they walked back up to the front. Rachel gently shoved Niall’s shoulder before speaking again.

“One I want to renovate my kitchen. I don’t really like it. It’s too cluttered for me. Know any good handymen?”

“I may know a few…” Niall smirked.

“And I also was informed that this coming up Friday I was expected at your house for game night.” Rachel smiled.

“Mags is persistent. Shouldn’t keep her waiting.”

“Guessing you told her?”

“Yeah, I think she’s coming around to the idea of me dating.”

“Dating? I thought I was showing around an old fart.” Niall’s laughed boomed through the store.

“Yeah, that too.”

Rachel kissed Niall, a sweet and tender peck on the lips before squeezing his hand, “I’ll be there at seven.”

As Rachel turns to leave, Niall grabs her hand, “Wanna come to the Halloween Carnival with us?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

In that moment, Niall felt whole again.

[shay-puppitty]

Just venting, don’t have to read

My sister is startin to stress me out... (long vent below if you really want to read it I guess) 

I have ONE drawer (the bottom one) and a little corner between the sink and the wall in my bathroom to store things while she and her boyfriend have 3 drawers, a cupboard, and the rest of the counter in the bathroom (where they don’t even try to be orderly and neat so I have to neaten it up every night just so I have enough counter space to put things) 

PLANTS ARE EVERYWHERE. She’s taken over the porch and keeps buying new plants just about every Sunday (one of her days off) while she is supposed to be finding a new place to live with her boyfriend

Her boyfriend has admitted to using MY MOUTHWASH instead of one of the TWO BOTTLES they share. 

Her boyfriend has repeatedly gone into MY BEDROOM while I’m not home under the guise of turning off the light (right beside the door) but goes to my bed to grab the reversible octopus to put it in an angry face (idk what else he’s touched) 

I had to move my lotions and skin products to MY BEDROOM just to keep them from using them (I had asked them not to use it before a time or two, but they used the fact I had borrowed a bit of theirs once to justify them using mine more than once or twice) 

OH YEAH. Apparently some of my stuff wound up in one of their drawers, so instead of moving my stuff to the ONE DRAWER I HAVE she dumped all her tampons over my stuff. Didn’t try to defend herself or anything, just said “Well some of your stuff was in my drawer so I figured it would be alright if I put some of my stuff into yours.” 

Her boyfriend now EXPECTS me to heat him up a little pizza anytime he is off of work and I am home, solely because I was kind enough to offer a few times if I saw him. And he’s stopped bothering to thank me for doing so unless I mention something about it. 

I have asked her for FOUR MONTHS to help me set up a hair appointment because my hair had gotten long enough to start causing me a lot of dysphoria, but she only did so TODAY when I asked her the name of the place. She put two and two together and realized I was probably going to set it up myself or have someone else help me with it (I’ve never set up an appointment so I don’t know how to do it, don’t know the name of the place, or the number to the place). 

She and her boyfriend make ZERO effort or attempt to use my pronouns (he/him) or even refer to me with “masculine identifiers.” The only time they seem to bother remembering is when they’re making some sort of under the radar joke about it or trying to “catch me slipping” since I’ve only just come out this year and am also getting used to being referred to as male. 

I have to be quiet at night or else they “don’t get enough sleep” but they can get ready in the morning as loudly as they want even though they get up hours before I do and know I’m sleeping. 

I had an intense breakdown (sobbing, hopelessness, distress, etc) a month ago because one of my dogs got sick again (diarrhea everywhere) and I was worried he’d taken a turn for the worse again and I’d have high vet bills to worry about again. I had to take all three dogs out so he could use the bathroom without me having to clean it up from everything and I spent 1.5 hours cleaning and breaking down. When she woke up and saw me sobbing in my room, I told her what happened and that I was very upset. All she told me was that I would have to bring the dogs back in as soon as I could because they’ll bark and could wake her and her boyfriend up where they wouldn’t get 3 MORE HOURS OF SLEEP. 

The shed my mom cleaned out for me and started putting drywall up so I could make it my retreat or “creative studio” where I wouldn’t be bothered has practically been claimed by her and her boyfriend. They put a treadmill in the shed, their yoga stuff, their workout stuff, and even BUILT A PULL UP BAR OFF THE SIDE without my permission (they went to my mom and convinced her that they needed to use the shed for their stuff and didn’t even bother to make sure I’d be okay with it) 

They expect my mom to cook them breakfast and MAKE THEM A MEAL  for lunch despite her doing everything else in the house. (cleaning, her laundry, THEIR LAUNDRY, dinner, taking care of the horses, helping me with the dogs since she wakes up earlier and can put them out for me, taking care of the chickens, baking whatever dessert thing they dump on her to make, going to the gym {we’ll fuckin get to that} a few times a week, the vegetable garden tending, mowing the lawn, taking care of her trees and shrubs outside, and so much more I don’t even know about) They even get upset if she is out later during a shopping trip (I’ll get to that in a moment) and isn’t there to prepare dinner when they get home. 

My sister is training for a marathon so won’t drive my mom to the gym on Sundays and Tuesdays (her days off) so my mom can’t go to the gym as often as she would like. Won’t even offer later in the day when she comes back. 

They won’t even drive my mom around to do errands or grocery shopping. My mom used to ask her to drive her around to do one or two close by errands, but she guilt tripped my mom everytime so my mom is worried to ask for a ride in case it’s “too much errands” or “taking up her day off” or “putting too much pressure or something on her” (after her run she’ll literally just do a bit of yoga and workout then just sit in her room all day and that is coming from me who sits around in his room all day) 

My dad recently passed, so my mom is kinda struggling for money right now, so what do they do? If they pick her up something from the store she forgot (even if it is FOR THEM) they tell her the price they paid and have her pay it back most of the time. 

Today, ONE HOUR before my mom would usually start cooking dinner (she’s had something defrosting all day expecting them to come home for dinner) they tell her that they found this new trail they want to run on a few hours away so they won’t be staying for dinner and they won’t be home tonight. My mom was so angry about the short notice about it that she couldn’t even be angry anymore and just sat and stewed in her anger. 

Since my dad passed away A FEW MONTHS AGO they’ve been getting bolder and it really feels like they are trying to push my mom and I out so they can stay here. My sister tried insisting on teaching my mom to drive, but didn’t give her many if any practice, but another sister of mine has been having mom drive every time they go out so she can be comfortable behind the wheel and get her license. My mom has a hard time seeing fault in any of her kids and probably hasn’t realized most of what’s going on around her because she’s been kept so busy. I’ve been forcing her to accept more “rent” money since I live with her and eat her food, started doing my own laundry (22 year old and couldn’t do laundry, I know terrible), offer to help in any way I can, insist on getting her things if she has sat down and needs something, put in the effort to clean up after myself if I use something in the kitchen, and buy her things she currently can’t afford the luxury of without letting her pay me back. But it feels like they are just using her and trying to take over the house slowly while my mom is down so she’ll become dependent on them and not want/be able to let them leave. I don’t know what to do about it except start being loud and show disapproval in what ways I can. I’m just so stressed about this whole thing and don’t know how to help or do anything about it...