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serenzippity · 5 years

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Cold War

Words: 7,828 Member/Pairing: Monsta X, Jooheon/OC, Wonho/OC, Minhyuk/Hyungwon, Kihyun/I.M Genre: Alternative Universe, inspired by “All In” Warning(s): Violence, blood, language, drug-use (the flower from “All In”), implied smut, mention of the almost sexual assault in Chapter Two

Book One - Chapter Three

July 19th, 2018

The water was scalding hot against the open wounds and my raw skin. Three water rations later and I still didn’t feel clean, not wholly able to erase the images of blue smoke and intoxicated boys out of my mind. Every time I closed my eyes I saw the fury etched across Hoseok’s face as he chased me like a feral animal. The scenes were superimposed with the tear-streaked cheeks of Mina as I pushed my sister further and further into a pit of isolation.

“You’re never allowed to see him again.”

“Jae-”

“No Mina! I forbid it! If he even tries to come around you again…”

I let the threat hang in the air between us. She looked defeated and broken, calling out to the maternal side of me. However, that part of me was shoved away by the angry, paranoid side that kept screaming at the X-Clan for dragging myself and my sister into their messed up web.

Drug use was strictly outlawed under the Jeong Ordinances, as was anything having to do with religion or worship. It looked like something that would get them all shot on sight and inquiries into their lives would put all of us on the line. It was confusing and hazy, and I still didn’t know what I saw but it nonetheless helped me build a resolve to keep Jooheon and his friends far away from myself and Mina.

Red rivers of blood and dirt washed down my skin and into the dingy drain, leaving me naked and shivering as the water slowly turned from hot to icy before shutting off completely. I stood in the stall long after the rations turned off, letting the cold night air dry the water off my skin and the erase the feeling of angry brown eyes.

-x-

July 20th, 2018

I was tense and sore the next morning at the restaurant. After losing a day of work there was an immediate hit to Mina and I’s weekly rations. We both lost allotments of food and water, the latter of which was detrimental to me more than my sister because of my frivolous shower the night before. Nonetheless, I still served students, citizens, and military officials alike. Mina was avoiding me once more after I repaid her concern with anger the moment I arrived home. She didn’t show up for her shift, choosing to remain at the hospital and take on an extra few hours of training.

The whole day went by in a blur, the rushes giving me a respite from the images of the ritual I had stumbled upon that plagued my thoughts. Every moment that wasn’t spent attending to something in the restaurant was clouded in a blue haze, making me desperate for meager distractions to keep my mind from wandering. The distractions kept me occupied until the sun disappeared below the horizon and the restaurant slowed down until I was the only soul left. The clinking of dishes within the automated cleaner and the soppy mop broke the silence as I worked to keep my paranoia at bay.

Silence and work kept me going well into the night and I subliminally realized that it was more-so avoiding going home and facing the guilt that I knew would come after seeing Mina’s face. Little twangs of intermittent regret stabbed me in the heart, but like the world around me, I pushed those away. I did the same thing when I first assaulted Jooheon, and I will continue to do so until she realizes that I am only protective of her so she remains alive in this godforsaken place.

I continued to clean the floor and think of Mina’s sad face, oblivious to the person that slipped into the room and took a seat at the bar. The only indicator that I wasn’t alone came in the form of a throat being loudly cleared, causing me to raise the mop defensively.

“Are you going to kill me with that?” Jooheon asked from his perch, looking between me and the soaked mop with amusement in his dark eyes. I threw it down with a loud clatter and rushed to him. Grabbing the collars of his black sweater I dragged him from the stool and threw him into a nearby table, sending him and the rickety piece of furniture to the ground. Grabbing the knife that was stashed in my boot I fell on top of him, pressing my knees into his arms and the blade onto the flesh of his neck.

“I will give you one last warning,” I growled, my vision shifting from red to blue in anger as I glared at the younger boy. “Stay away from my sister and I. I don’t know what you and your little group are involved in, but you keep Mina the hell out of it.” Every word came out as a venomous hiss as I pressed the knife deeper.

However, Jooheon didn’t look scared or angry at all, which sent a small bit of confusion through my mind. He looked stoic, almost uninterested as he gazed up at me. He didn’t seem to fear the metal pressed into his neck nor the pure hatred in my eyes. Jooheon was relaxed and somehow that made me even angrier.

“It was dangerous for you to leave last night.” It came out as a bored statement and I flicked the knife further, causing him to lightly wince.

“I saw you in that shack,” Teeth bared I leaned into his face, almost like a feral wolf. “I saw what you and your friends were doing.”

“I know, that’s why Hoseok ran after you.” He gave me a little smirk as he said that and I snarled at his words.

“Shame,” I hissed, pressing the knife harder and watching a small bead of blood drip down his neck. “He doesn’t know the northern woods as well as I do.”

Jooheon grimaced at the cold bite of the knife into a fresh wound. His breathing got deeper and he tried to pull away from the knife, only for me to push it further into his skin. “Are you going to kill me?”

“I’d like to,” I said removing the knife from his neck and raising it above my head. I was contemplating plunging it deep into his windpipe and watching as the blood spilled from his gaping throat. I was also contemplating stabbing him repeatedly in the chest and leaving his body in an alley for soldiers to find. The darkest and cruelest thoughts swam through my head as I held the knife aloft. Every single way I could take his life flashed behind my eyes and for a split moment, I convinced myself to go through with it.

The knife felt weightless as I brought it down. In an instant, it flashed in Jooheon’s vision and he closed his eyes to brace himself for the impact that would end his life. A sharp thud and the sting on the edge of his ear made his eyes shoot open in shock. Rather than end him in one fell swing, I decided at the last second that I couldn’t do that to Mina.

Despite my negative feelings towards the younger boy, I knew Mina loved him. I knew how she felt, and I knew how he felt. I saw the looks on their faces and the fear in their eyes when I interfered the first time. Mina would be utterly destroyed if I killed the younger man, and I couldn’t do that to her. I had some semblance of rationality left.

The knife was embedded in the wood floor next to his head. A small cut was oozing blood from the edge of his ear and he looked up at me with fear for the first time. His face was reflected on the knife, and despite my reluctance to kill him, I smirked at his wide eyes.

“If you ever, ever come near me or my sister again this knife won’t miss.” Every word was punctuated by a drop of blood from his ear onto the floor. His fear quickly faded away when I pulled the knife back and got off of his chest. Pushing myself up, I sheathed the blade back into my boot and walked back to the mop and bucket as if nothing happened.

Everything was now up to him. I gave him the threat and if he heeded the warning, it was no longer my concern. The decision on if he wanted to live or die was solely in his hands.

Standing up, Jooheon gingerly touched his ear and neck to calculate the bleeding. He went back to his stoic stance, relaxing against the bar to stifle the bleeding as I continued to clean. Moments of silence stretched between us and from an outsiders view it no one would have known that I was seconds away from ending his life and letting him bleed out onto the floor.

“You know,” he started as he held the sleeve of his shirt up to his ear, “If I had stayed away those soldiers would have had their way with you.”

I froze at that.

His words sent a bolt of pain through me at the memory of dark nights, men reeking of vodka, and slurred advances that made my skin crawl. Visibly shuddering, I threw the mop back onto the ground and wheeled around to glare at him. I was more than ready to send my knife flying into his head, but before I could reach into my boot he was already walking towards the door.

One hand landed on the handle before he turned around to look at me. He took in my tense shoulders and fierce eyes with an apathetic expression. “Come to the compound next Thursday. I want to show you what we are doing.” He opened the door and strode through the threshold with his head held high, far from a cowering man that had a knife to his throat moments before. “I know you're curious.” The words drifted through the open door before it shut on him and the dark night.

I stared at the door with rage coursing through every vein. My hands were clenched so tight that my knuckles turned white and my nails pressed deep crescents into my palms. My lungs felt constricted and I couldn’t breathe normally. Everything in me was vibrating with fury and something else.

The mop was long forgotten as was the cleaning that remained. There was blood and a noticeable notch in the floor. The table was still overturned and the chairs right along with it. Nothing registered in my mind except the cocktail of emotions racing through me. My feet moved before I could even consciously understand what I was doing. Responsibilities were overlooked as I ran out the door into the warm summer night. Jooheon was nowhere to be seen as my feet worked to chase him and the shadows of the night.

I ran and ran all throughout the town, dodging people coming home from work as well as soldiers. Soon I found myself on the edge of the village, overlooking the forest through the dingy chain link fence. The trees were full of dark figures, beckoning me forwards into their clutches and out of this cursed place and the people who within a span of a week somehow managed to uproot my life. I felt like I was free falling off a cliff into events that were so far out of my control that I couldn’t breathe. Swimming with anger, I felt my control starting to slip through my fingers as the proverbial rope frayed above me.

The fury within me was intermingled with fear. That fear stemmed from the realization that he was right. I was curious, and that terrified me more than anything.

Letting out a loud scream into the silent night I fell to my knees into the moist dirt out of painful frustration, cursing the X-Clan as the darkness swirled around me and I let go of the rope that held me up. I came crashing down into the black abyss, realizing that nothing was in my hands anymore.

-x-

July 26th, 2018

Standing in the threshold of the tunnel used to be cathartic. If I really needed a moment away from my family or the bleak lives we lived I would come out and stare at the trees for as long as I could. As a child, my father would find me curled against the wall with a stick in my hand and little drawings scattered around in the dirt. As I got older it was my escape from school and the teachings that were so deeply propagated that it made me nauseous. My grandmother taught me that there was a world before all of this— before the Jeong Regime and the badlands full of monsters— and I’d often dream about what once was, with only the trees as my company.

The threshold was also my escape when Mina and I were left alone and I was forced to become the family breadwinner or else end up on the streets. This was where I shed the imaginative young woman persona— idealistic and bright-eyed— to become the woman who was forced into a world behind the curtain. That was the last time I cried, clutching the wall with shaking hands as I realized who and what my parents, this world, and I truly were.

Now the threshold held me back, silently begging me to turn around and go home rather than satisfy my dark curiosity.

I spent a week waging an internal war on the decision I was now being forced to make. One part of me argued that if I turned around I would have nothing to lose. I could go through the tunnel, up the stairs, out of the restaurant, and simply walk home. It was dark, the blanket of twilight fresh on the ground, but not too late to where I would have another unfortunate run-in with a patrol. This part of me begged for my feet to carry me away from the inevitable trouble that lay beyond in the eastern parts of the woods. It begged and begged, trying to appeal to the rational part of me.

But the other part of me…

This side was much louder, more aggressive, and harder to ignore. It poked at my mind until I felt the throbbing ache throughout my whole body. It completely consumed my thoughts— robbing me of sleep and concentration— and in the end, it won out.

Venturing out into the woods and ruins beyond the village, I tried to remember the way back to the X-Clan compound. Passing old factories and decrepit buildings, I pushed the brambles and shrubs away as I turned southeast into unknown lands. When everything became unfamiliar I knew I was good and lost, hoping and praying that I would stumble upon their compound out of sheer luck.

Or in my case, sheer misfortune.

Something malicious was watching over me, and within an hour of walking, I came across a clearing with large, rundown factories that pre-dated the Great War. It was here that I recognized the outside of the compound as it stood on the border. Nothing about it was particularly suspicious looking, but the hidden staircase on the side that Changkyun showed me stood out to my careful eyes. The staircase and the damned dirt path that piqued my interest in the first place told me that I was right where I didn’t want to be.

I hesitated as the forest moved around me. A light breeze rustled the leaves, sending an ominous whisper throughout the silent night. Even the animals that made the trees their homes kept quiet as I stared at the large building with a sense of dread and painful curiosity.

‘It’s now or never,’ I told myself, praying for the courage to go back home and leave this place behind.

Once again, something within me won out and I turned onto the footpath to make my way deeper into the trees. The broken branches and worn steps welcomed me eagerly, and before I could even form a thought that would send me flying home I found myself before the ominous rock wall and the thicket that had blue lights shimmering through the gaps in the leaves.

Looking at the house beyond, I stood on the other side of the bushes that kept it hidden as I continued my inner war that would decide if I go further or not. A faint roar of laughter echoed from the house, and with my mentally weak state that was all it took for me to dig through the bush and emerge on the other side. The rotted door was pliable under my touch and it opened with little resistance and a familiar squeal that hushed the laughter and alerted those inside to my presence.

I stood in the doorway as seven pairs of eyes took me in. Two looked at me with regard, two looked at me with unmasked anger, and the other three were a mix of fear and relief.

“I thought you were a soldier,” Changkyun said from his seat, giving me a small smile that sent a trickle of warmth to my heart.

I gave him a small one in return and took a step in, but before my foot could even touch the ground Hoseok stood up and fixed me with an angry glare. “What are you doing here?” he asked through bared teeth and fiery eyes.

My mind was a maelstrom of emotions, and I couldn’t form a coherent response to his probing. However, I didn’t have to say anything before Jooheon cut in with an authoritative tone.

“I invited her here.”

This caused an uproar in all the boys save for Hyunwoo and Changkyun, the former of which was looking at me with calculating eyes. I caught his gaze and made my way closer until I was standing only a foot away from Hyungwon and Minhyuk. The younger boy was clutching the hand of Minhyuk with a vice grip, his eyes flitting all over me with fear due to the way I threatened him last time I was in his presence.

I watched them all silently, not making a sound as the debate raged in the greenhouse.

“She isn’t supposed to know about any of this damnit!” Hoseok seethed, squaring up to Jooheon to try to intimidate the younger man. However, he was undeterred and looked at Hoseok with a threatening blackness in his eyes.

“There’s nothing within our code that says she can’t be here!” he yelled back as he stood up to challenge Hoseok.

“Like hell there isn’t Jooheon!” Kihyun hollered, leaning against his crutches as he slowly stood up as well. “She’s an outsider and not a member of this clan. Just because you want to fuck her sister doesn’t mean she can come here and-”

Jooheon moved his attention away from Hoseok and focused his threatening presence on Kihyun. Despite being crippled the boy didn’t back down and only held his gaze as they both began to throw around curses. Changkyun shot up from his seat and tried to act as a buffer between the two, but the mere mention of Mina had Jooheon going over the edge. Jooheon and Kihyun looked ready to tear into each other, but a deep voice stopped them before anything could escalate.

“Enough,” growled Hyunwoo from his seat. He didn’t bother to get up, but the power radiating off of him was enough to silence all of them. He flexed threateningly and the circle stilled. “She’s here. She knows. Now sit down and shut up before I kick you both out of the damn circle.”

That threat hung in the air and it was enough to snap Kihyun’s mouth shut. Minhyuk, Hyungwon, and Changkyun were looking at the eldest with wide eyes and slacked jaws. Hoseok, however, looked murderous as his angry eyes moved between Hyunwoo and I. He slowly took his seat with clenched fists and tight shoulders. I couldn’t help but give him a little smirk that only seemed to fuel his fire. There was something about him that I enjoyed provoking because he made it too easy. The rest of the boys moved to sit, save for Jooheon who stood at the head of the circle.

“Jae,” Jooheon said, beckoning me to his side, “Come and sit here. You can drink first.”

I didn’t question what he meant, I only nodded and went to sit between him and Hoseok like a woman possessed. Robotic in my movements, I perched on the overturned crate with nowhere to go but further into their rabbit hole. It was too late to turn back and change course.

I could feel the rage rolling off Hoseok as he sat next to me. I felt his dark eyes burning into the side of my face but I didn’t give him any attention. I kept focused on Jooheon as he began to crush the petals of the blue flowers into a paste and mix it with water. The silver bowl in his hands held steady as he worked. He began to chant in a foreign language, and soon the boys around me followed suit.

As he stirred the chanting grew louder, and it was then that I decided to take in my surroundings for the first time. The greenhouse held hundreds of stalks of the blue flower, all of which were radiating an eerie blue glow. The circle was in the middle of the structure where a small clearing had been made. Rudimentary seats and a table were made out of overturned boxes and crates, all bearing the logo of the weapons I sold to Jooheon. On the small table were various jars and cups that surrounded a burner that held a small flame. A few of the cups were empty, but others held bright liquids of various pinks, yellows, and blues. Dried petals mixed with fresh ones and little stems of the flower were placed on every sliver of the open surface.

Jooheon kept stirring the paste into the water, creating a sparkling blue liquid that glowed brighter the more they droned. He began to pour small amounts of it into the various empty cups, totaling eight before he held the silver bowl out to me. “Drink,” he said softly and if I wasn’t sitting next to him I knew I wouldn’t be able to hear him over the chanting.

I raised my hands to grasp the sides of the silver bowl, trying to control the shaking as I lifted it from his hold. Gingerly raising it to my mouth, I took a small sip before looking back up at Jooheon questioningly. It tasted like spun sugar once the small drops touched my tongue and it seemed to coat the entirety of my mouth in a sweet residue.

“More,” he whispered, sensing my silent confusion. Hesitantly I raised it back to my lips and took a deeper gulp, bringing a wave of the saccharine liquid in and swallowing slowly. It burned as it went down, but it was a pleasant feeling that heated me from the inside.

Jooheon took the bowl and passed it on, starting with Hoseok and moving around the circle. All of the boys looked more relaxed and eager as they received the bowl. I wasn’t getting nasty or confused looks anymore, their attention was wholly focused on the blue substance being moved along. Once it made it to Hyungwon I began to feel an effect, and by the time Jooheon took the final gulp, I felt it in every nerve in my body.

Jooheon took one of the individual eight cups and raised it high. The other’s obeyed his lead, and numbly I did the same. Holding the cup aloft felt almost exhausting, my arm shaking as I felt the flower flow through me. When the other’s brought it to their lips and gulped it down in one go, I made quick work of mine and took it like a shot of illegal alcohol. This one tasted worse, it wasn’t as sweet as the initial taste and had a stronger bite. However, the strange effect hit me harder and I reeled at the feeling.

It made me feel warm. I felt like I was sitting in front of a fireplace basking in the warmth after spending an entire day in the snow. The tips of my fingers tingled and everything seemed sharper. The lines of the plant boxes looked clearer and the blue hues surrounding us were deeper. My eyesight was heightened as I stared at the lines of Changkyun’s face. Despite being on the opposite end of the circle I could see the faint scars on his cheeks and the individual pores on his nose. I could hear seven heartbeats and the timbres of their chanting as if they were inside my head. A small roach scuttled across the floor a couple of feet away and I could hear its legs scraping across the old wood floor.

My senses were heightened, and when Jooheon raised his hand to dump a handful of dried leaves into the fire I felt like the faint pops and crackles were inside my eardrums. I watched the flames turn azure with a dark fascination, each ember a shade more beautiful than the last.

A hazy blue smoke arose from the fire and stretched into every corner of the greenhouse. Jooheon began to wave a black feather into the swirling vapor and breathed deeply. The boys followed suit, and I acted blindly in a state of submission. Inhaling the fumes sent a rush of blood to my head that had me softly moaning when I exhaled.

Drinking the flower made every nerve in my body sensitive, but inhaling it made me feel euphoric. Bliss was the only thing that came to mind as I continued to breathe in the smoke, relaxing into myself as the flower worked me over. I felt calm, but wild at the same time. It made me feel like I could run into the forest without a care in the world. There was no regime, no pain, no starvation. There was only me, the flower, and the seven wild heartbeats sounding in my ears like a rhythmic drum.

The warmth inside of me melted into my skin, and every fiber wanted to be touched. I began to run the tips of my fingers over my bare forearms in a desperate attempt to get contact. Caressing myself, I leaned into the closest warm body and rested against them as a sigh escaped my slacked jaw. An arm snaked across my lap and gripped my outer thigh as the body leaned back into me. I stopped moving my hands across my own flesh, preferring to touch the skin resting across my lap and watch as goosebumps rose with every caress.

I was so engrossed in the strong limb that I barely noticed various hands reach out and pick up the cups filled with colors. Shaking fingers reached in and scooped out the pigments before slathering them across exposed skin. Watching Kihyun paint white streaks over Changkyun’s face was enchanting. I couldn’t stop watching how the color flowed over his lightly tanned skin and contrasted with his blown out eyes. He looked youthful and beautiful as a sweet smile stretched his mouth, no doubt for the equally beautiful boy who was giving him all his attention.

I could have looked at the tender moment for hours, but the arm on my lap shifted slightly to rest in-between my legs. The large, pale hand moved to grip the inside of my thigh in a way that sent heat pooling in my most sensitive region. It felt foreign, but I wanted more when the hand squeezed my flesh over my dirty leggings. My head was thrown back as I moaned into the smoky room without any semblance of embarrassment.

I leaned forward as my heartbeat raced, my eyes following the strong limb up to the face of its owner. I met the black gaze of Hoseok and the moment our eyes met I was flooded with heat again. The effects of the flower made his skin glow and his blonde hair looked like spun silk. His pupils overtook the whites, giving him a demonic appearance that had me licking my lips out of want.

He stared at me as his free hand reached up to my neck. Coated in black paint, his fingers began to leave colored streaks over the junctures of my throat. When he reached the edge of my shirt his black fingers curled over the fabric and pulled it down my shoulder, exposing a large portion of my chest to the warm air. He reached to push the other shoulder down stretching the fabric so it rested over the tops of my breasts. With my collarbones and the entirety of my upper chest exposed, Hoseok dipped back into the paint and continued to leave black streaks across my skin.

I stared at him as he watched his fingers move across my body. He dipped into other colors, and soon he painted me with varying hues. His eyes were locked on the shades on my collarbone, and the way he was honed in on his personal art had me leaning further into him.

The trance was shattered when a second hand reached out and touched my exposed shoulder. Turning towards the stranger with fluttering eyes, I was met with the painted face of Jooheon. He said nothing, just took my hand and placed a small pot of white paint in it before turning back to tend the small fire.

Hoseok’s hands remained on my chest and thighs as I held the white paint. Sticking my finger in, I swirled the liquid with fascination. I watched as it coated my forefinger and stuck to the sides of the jar. Small specks of other colors disturbed the pristine shade, and I was spellbound until I felt Hoseok squeeze my thigh again. My head snapped up to meet his gaze as a small whimper sang through the air between us.

He was so close and invading. I could smell the sweat and musk on his body, and every line and crevice of his face was mine to drink in. He was admittedly very beautiful before the flower, but now he was a god in human form. Everything about him screamed danger, temptation, and lust. In my haze I couldn’t recall the malice that previously hung between us, it was long gone with all of my inhibitions.

Reaching up, I pressed the pad of my finger onto the plush flesh of his bottom lip. Dragging it down I left a streak of white from the junction of his lips to the tip of his chin. Pulling further I traced down his neck and throat, coming to rest on the broad expanse of his powerful chest. The muscles rippled under my hand as I touched the heated flesh.

Hoseok’s hands dragged me closer. The one on my thigh pulled me into him so our legs were pressed tightly together. The one that rested on my chest reached up to thread into the hair at the base of my skull. His fingers wound into my strands and pushed my head towards him, resting our foreheads together as we gazed into each other's eyes.

“Tribus,” Jooheon whispered behind us. Throwing a large handful of dried petals into the fire, blue smoke exploded into the room and coated everything. I couldn’t see Hoseok anymore as the smog overtook him and the others around us. I only felt his hands release me as black clouded the corners of my eyes. I felt like I was falling, and when the darkness enclosed around me I landed on a soft surface with a heavy sigh and tired limbs. Seconds ticked by and slowly all noise disappeared. I could no longer hear seven thudding heartbeats. I could only hear the buzzing silence of my black cocoon.

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, descending into a dreamless sleep.

-x-

July 27th, 2018

When my eyes opened I thought it was still night. For a moment I thought that everything that happened in the greenhouse was my imagination. The flower, the paint, Hoseok— I thought it was all something I dreamt of.

It wasn’t until I sat up and looked at my stained hands and chest that I realized it wasn’t something my mind conjured. I was sitting on a dingy mattress in the corner of a pitch black room. Despite the suffocating darkness, I could see everything with absolute clarity. The outlines of boxes filled with clothes and scattered pieces of machinery were perfectly visible despite being across the room.

Like the night before, I could see a roach as is hurried along the far corner of the room and into a crack in the wall, clearly seeing the aforementioned break despite it only being an inch long. My vision was sharp and clear to the point where everything around me looked like it was edged like a knife. I felt like I could cut my hand open on the corner of the wall if I touched it.

However, it was my hearing that got the better of me. The roaches legs sounded like nails tapping on a piece of wood next to my ear. If I even slightly moved on the mattress I could hear the creaking of individual springs, and if I chose to I could point out where under the fabric they were.

What really got the best of me, however, was the moaning and groans of ecstasy that were coming from the other side of the farthest wall. They sounded like they were mere inches in front of my face. I felt like if I reached out I could touch the couple because of the sheer crescendo of their whines, despite the softness of the timbre.

Moments passed and I inferred that the flower heightened all of my senses. Everything was amplified, and for some reason, I wasn’t frightened. Rather I felt relaxed and refreshed like I slept for days and woke up to a calm world.

How many hours of sleep had I gotten? Two? Three? I wasn’t tired despite the light that was beginning to turn the black night into a dark blue. I could see the shifting sky through a gap in the boarded-up window which indicated that it wasn’t quite yet dawn.

Standing up from the bed, I stretched up and down to test the looseness of my joints. I felt stronger and somehow more flexible. There wasn’t an ounce of tenseness in my body, and the slight spring in my step carried me towards the closed door of the room. Opening it, I found I was in one of the bedrooms I had previously snooped through that stood off of the second-level common area. The passionate moans were coming from the room to the immediate left of the one I was in, and it slightly disturbed me to realize that I could hear every gasp and shuffle of the entwined lovers.

The common area wasn’t devoid of life, and as I made my way out I was greeted with three heartbeats. Two bodies lay together on the couch and, despite being quite a few feet away from them, I could easily make out the sharp lines of Kihyun and Changkyun’s faces. The latter had his head resting on the shoulder of the older boy as they both slept deeply.

I couldn’t help but grin at the sight before looking at the third person in the room. Hyunwoo was sitting on an overturned crate as he tied his shoes to his feet. I could hear the slide of the laces and see the movements of his fingers as I walked closer.

“Hey,” I said, making my presence known to him as I made my way over.

Looking up he fixed me with a small smile. “Morning,” he said as he continued to lace up his boots. “Did you sleep well?”

“To be honest I don’t know,” I mused as I took a seat on a crate nearby. “How long was I out?”

“Probably five or six hours. You passed out at the final checkpoint.” He finished with his boots and turned. Leaning his elbows on his knees he looked at me with narrowed eyes. Like he was scrutinizing my face, his sight flitted all over my features making me slightly uncomfortable under his intense gaze. “How do you feel?” he questioned as he leaned closer.

I hesitated for a moment. How did I feel? I felt strange, but also content in a way I haven’t felt in years. The last time I didn’t feel like I had weights on my shoulders was when I was 18 and fresh out of school. It was foreign to feel like I didn’t have the world pulling me down, but in some way, I missed the pressure. I also realized how clear his face was. Every pore, crevice, and niche was etched on him like marble. The tiny specks of hazel in his green eyes stood out and for a moment I swore I could see blue shining through his pupils.

“Strange,” I whispered after a moment of contemplation.

“That’s normal.” I couldn’t help but laugh at his quick and simple words. Another smile broke through his intense scrutiny, and he leaned back as if he was satisfied with what he saw. “I suppose you want to know exactly what we did. Jooheon did say you were extremely curious.”

His smile got wider when my eyes narrowed and I fixed him with a dark glare. “Relax Jae,” he said with a light laugh, “I’m only joking.”

“For some reason, I’m not in the mood for jokes.” It came out as a dark hiss but Hyunwoo’s smile only grew.

“You remind me a lot of Haeun. I think you’d like her.”

“Is that a compliment?” I inquired, slowly letting my darker mood dissipate. I took stock of Hyunwoo. Despite his harsh attitude the night before, there was no doubt in my mind that he was a leader and a well-respected one at that.

“Depends on if you know Haeun,” he specified with a smile that reached his eyes. I couldn’t help but return it.

“I like her already.”

He chuckled and I saw the fondness that he held for his fiancee. “Anyway,” he moved, waving his hand to dismiss the topic of his love, “About last night…”

“About last night…” I pushed, asking him to continue with his explanation as I leaned forward and crossed my legs. There was a deep want in me that pushed to know exactly what happened the night before. It was unyielding and cried out in the silent air for an answer.

Hyunwoo looked deep in thought for a moment before he began to trace the events. “Last night we went through three checkpoints: Consumption, Control, and Convergence. The last one was too much for you and it knocked you out.”

I raised an eyebrow, but before I could say anything he raised his hands to silence the opening of my mouth. “Just let me explain, and then I’ll answer any and all of your questions if I can.” I nodded, more-so out of curiosity rather than compliance. He shot me another face-consuming smile before continuing. “The flower…” he said, hesitating for a moment to find the right words, “It does things to the body. You can see better, hear everything, and you feel so much stronger than everyone else. But it all comes at a price.”

“What's the price?” I asked before he could get anything else out.

“You don’t listen very well do you?” He said dryly. “We are still trying to figure that out.”

The ominous words hung in the air between us. A moment passed as I pondered what he meant by price, but he eventually continued on when he saw me dwelling on the subject.

“The flower gives us these spectacular abilities. When we take it our wounds heal, every ache is gone, and we feel lighter in a sense. But we don’t take it for the effects, rather we take it for our cause.”

“Which is?” I pried, falling deeper into the conversation.

“In case you haven’t already figured it out based on the sheer about of weapons we buy from you, we are rebels.” The last word would have normally sent a sharp sense of dread into my stomach. First my parents, and now these guys? But rather than feel any type of anger or regret I remained curious as if the flower had taken away my ability to feel any kind of negative emotion. “Our goal is to join with others and eventually take down the regime. We are still working out kinks in our plans as well as gathering information, but soon all of us will join the rebels in the badlands and fight for our freedom and the-”

“Hyunwoo,” I urged, dragging out his name to get him to stop talking for a moment, “I won’t report you guys for being rebels, but the less I know about that the better. If they come for me,” I paused, shuddering at the thought, “I want to remain ignorant to your overall plans.”

He nodded, taking my words in with a new light. There was a spark in his brown eyes, something that I would like to think was newfound respect for me. “Anyway,” he went on with that spark still evident, “We reach new planes of mental ascension with it. We get stronger, go higher, move faster with it. We train with weapons and expand our minds with it after the ritual.”

“The ritual,” he said with another bout of deep contemplation, “is the result of testing the effects of the flower over the span of two years. Jooheon and I were the first ones to try it and our experiments led us to what happened last night. The first checkpoint is ‘Consumption,’ or the initial drinking of the flowers essence. The second is ‘Control.’ This is where we inhale the vapors of the flower so our minds don’t wander into dark places.”

“Dark places?” I pushed.

“When you first consume the flower there is a heaviness to your mind. It amplifies that ten-fold until the essence is out of your system and all that is left are the after-effects. It’s painful and terrifying, which is why we inhale the smoke because it removes those burdens and lets us ride out the initial effects of the flower without pain.”

“So,” I mused, deeply trying to remember the feeling of the vapor coursing through my veins, “The flower in liquid form gives you these abilities, but the process is painful so you inhale the smoke to help carry you along?”

“Exactly.”

“That sounds like a drug,” I teased.

“I won’t tell the regime if you won’t,” Hyunwoo said with a laugh. “Anyway, the final checkpoint is called ‘Convergence’ and it’s where we essentially merge the effects of the essence and the smoke together to create one large ascension. This is where you passed out, but don’t worry,” he smirked when I grimaced at the thought of fainting, “the same thing happened to all of us the first time.”

“Ha ha,” I dryly retorted. I sat and thought about the night before with a much clearer mind. There was still that sense of shock coursing through me at the fact that I wasn’t scared. It was in a way exhilarating, and my body felt amazing so there was a definite upside. “How long do the effects last?” I asked after a moment of contemplation.

“A week give or take. Since this was your first time it will probably last around nine to ten days.”

I let out a small hum at that, slowly running my finger over my bottom lip. “And you do this every week?”

“Pretty much.” He leaned back and rested his weight on his hands. We both looked casual, the fact that he was telling me about his rebel group and their drug-induced plans was not obvious in our body language. “I’m guessing this is a lot to take in?”

“Not really,” I answered honestly. “I don’t think I can physically feel any emotions right now except for contentment. I’m guessing it will probably hit me later?”

“Probably.”

We gave each other small smiles and lapsed into comfortable silence that was punctuated by the high pitched moans of the two lovers. Minhyuk and Hyungwon soon joined us in the common room with sheepish grins and the offer to use their rudimentary shower to clean the paint off my body. I made a point of asking about Jooheon and Hoseok’s whereabouts, but I was met with passing indifference and circles around the answer. They didn’t quite trust me yet, and I was okay with that.

Eventually, the sun began to bring out the light blue of the sky and Hyunwoo and I left the compound to return to the village. He showed me the Clan’s way back through a decrepit part of the fence that was rarely ever patrolled, and I was thankful to have another way in and out of our bleak little town.

Crawling through we separated to go to our respective houses and jobs, promising to talk more once I began to truly come to terms with the effects of last night. The trek home seemed to take less time than usual due to the enhanced speed in my step. Falling through the front door I noticed that there were a pair of foreign shoes that didn’t belong to Mina or I. They were ratty and far too big as they pushed up against the wall.

The voice in my head told me to investigate, but once I heard two heartbeats coming from Mina’s room I easily put two and two together. My fingers were twitching to grab the handle of the knife in my boot. They wanted to close around the handle and drag the boy out by his hair. However, my mind was whispering calming words, telling me to let Mina and Jooheon sleep in peace.

‘She’s your sister and he loves her,’ it said with sweetly blue-tinged words. The honeyed voice easily won the battle and I let them be in favor of my own bed and the idea of sleeping for a good hour or two before the lunch rush.

A/N: Here is the chapter that was 90% written with one hand. I really hope it’s okay cause lord knows this chapter gave me so much anxiety. Thank you to @prinzelee as always for beta-ing and @kihyunsbabe for helping me with the “flower trip” scene. Also I love Jae I’m in love with my own OC help

#monsta x #monsta x fanfic #monsta x smut #monsta x au #mxwriters #monsta x angst #x-clan #monsta x all in #hyunwoo #shownu #wonho #hoseok #minhyuk #kihyun #hyungwon #jooheon #i.m #changkyun

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