#and so. focus outward. the shire is daved etc etc
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Thinking about him* again
*the teleological suspension of the ethical
#franposting#im sorry i am TRYING to shut the brain off#but yknow who is just angry and bitter and heartbroken all the time and wants to fight god and also crawl into their lap and cry????#me.#and no matter how good i am or how many rules i follow that are stupid injust or culturally relative and not Truth (tm)#my anger and bitterness is still gonna damn me#there's no explanation that'll quiet my heart. there really isnt a solution to my anger at the state of things#and im afraid. i am. coward and afraid for mysek#myself*how selfish i knoe#and so. focus outward. the shire is daved etc etc#duty for others. the long loneliness. i dont need to be happy just useful#come what may at the end of it. at least ill know i was kind and earnest and compassionate#and if im damned im damned. i will try to make things kinder. more just. anyway#but tldr kierkegaard maybe his suspension of the ethical. idk. im out of other options#i can be so fine and then be so not fine and idk why#i think. its partially [redacted] and change needs to be had in multiple ways#i could live with that. ....maybe#its a moot point tho. not in my lifetime. not in the next millenja
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