#and the ‘you’re gentrified’ and ‘you’re a gringa’ comments
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the dominican-american experience of learning and reading and hearing about your family’s roots but still feeling out of place and disconnected in the DR and in dominican spaces
#growing up i always tried disputing the ‘you were born in the us so you’re not a real dominican’ argument#and the ‘you’re gentrified’ and ‘you’re a gringa’ comments#but at this point i fully accept that#at least in my case#i’m only dominican by blood and nothing else#even my ancestor’s language eludes me#along with the culture amongst other things that’s supposed to feel like home because of my bloodline#but still appears to me as foreign as any other country or culture#which is a bit sad#‘cause i’ll always feel inadequate in that sense#but i’m learning to just accept that who i am just doesn’t align with what people expect when they learn my family’s from dr#but it’s also a bit sad ‘cause there’s also the expectation of like…holding up the community?#or like upholding the culture and bearing the burden of being a representative of one’s ethnicity no matter how connected or not you feel#toward that culture#like the pressure of having to succeed to better the community#and then support the community#which was the theme of all my college application essays back when i was more naive#to the reality of how am i supposed to represent dominicans when you’re often the token hispanic#in many spaces you take part of#when you don’t even speak the language of your people#idk#sorry this is long and should’ve been saved for my journal but here we are#a bit delirious from sleep deprivation and subjective fever#michi yaps
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