#and the dream ended with the droid STILL BEING ALIVE and grieving his inability to save obi and anakin

[lostlegendaerie]

having really vivid dreams is fun and games until your horrible headmeats present to you an unrealized love story between obi wan kenobi and a b1 battle droid and you wake up feeling fucking sad about it

[morganas-pendragons]

Epiphany | Commander Cody

another clone fic before i take my leave of tcw writing at least temporarily because my idea bank is dead (update: kidding i have another now, it’s coming this week) / this will probably not be happy because this song is not happy and most of you know better from me of all people lol 

this is actually more hurt/comfort but i hope ya’ll like it! :D 

based off of epiphany from taylor swift’s album folklore 

ft. phantom because i haven’t written enough for her 

@cherieboba​ // @libradusk​ / @obiorbenkenobi​ / @captainrexstan​ / @kamino-mermaid​ / @shitpost-kaley​ / @kryptonian-sith​ / @demigod-dragonrider-schoolidol​ / @lady-tano​ / @colorfulloverbatturkey​ / @djarinsdni​ / @sithmando​ /  @skyguysaga​ / @starflyer-104​ / @painkiller80​ / @ct7567329​ / @spaghetti-666​ / @kaikai1324​ / @cxptain-rex​ / @jellyfishpoptart​ 

*** 

keep your helmet, keep your life son.. just a flesh wound, here’s your rifle 

There’s a certain numbness that comes with being exposed to trauma so many times. Phantom knows in her heart of hearts that this - being on the front lines of a battlefield since the beginning of her padawanship to Obi-Wan Kenobi - was not what The Force meant for her. Jedi were not soldiers. They were peacekeepers. 

And now it seems she is among the best of them. 

Standing on the shorelines of Felucia, the eldest padawan of her class peers upward at the massive Separatist droid foundry they’ve been sent to eliminate. She knows the familiar signatures for the members of Ghost Company who have come to stand at attention around her as they await the General to begin their debriefing. 

Needless to say, the debriefing doesn’t go well. 

  “You want to do what?” Cody is skeptical, to say the least, but her Master seems rather okay with the idea. It’s probably because of how he’s grown used to Anakin’s antics and this is so very something that Anakin would do.

  “I want you to send me into the heart of the base, by myself.” 

  “Absolutely not. Not unless you have vode covering your exit.” 

A side note to consider: Until this point, Phantom had been going by her given name both by the clones and their Jedi. This was the mission that earned her the nickname Phantom. She slipped away unseen, returned unseen.. but it didn’t mean that Cody didn’t worry any less even after she agreed to take a small squad of his best men. 

That is now where he stands - in the eye of a hurricane that is his mind - on the beaches of Felucia that are crawling with clankers and vod. He’s barely able to hear the call of his Jedi through the comms or see the brothers who beg for his aid as he steps over their bodies and continues on in his task. 

Crawling up the beaches now

Sir, I think he’s bleeding out

A bloodied hand print settles against his boot. It’s a deep scarlet that bleeds past the plastoid and into the skin as he recognizes his inability to save yet another brother who died for a war that just didn't end. 

  “I’m sorry.” 

But in spite of his aching heart and the deaths he will have to catalog later, Commander Cody presses on. He has no other choice. He will go back to The Negotiator. He will come back to it with you - because Cody refuses to acknowledge a world where you are not present with him in it - and once Cody is safely ensconced within your embrace, he will weep for those he was unable to save. For those he failed. 

Such is life. 

*** 

With you, I serve

With you I fall down 

You’ve made it this far without being seen by the magna-guards that Dooku strategically placed to protect the droid foundry, or the B1 legion that remains on the first floor to keep the 212th from entering the front door. They are the distraction, and you are the executor. 

The bombs in your satchel tink as they bounce against your side. 

Viper, Killshot, and Abel are all covering your escape. The three clones, two of which were only just recently promoted to ARC Troopers, are three of Cody’s best men and people he would trust with his own life. Now he’s trusted them with yours and you with theirs. 

Your heart crawls into your throat when Abel starts screaming through the comms. He’s been overrun. 

Watch you breathe in 

Watch you breathing out, out 

“You have to keep going, Padawan!” Abel yells, and the ferocity of his voice makes you wince as you stop in the duct you’ve been crawling through for the last mile. You’re almost to the heart of the facility. “For The 212th!” 

For the 212th. 

You make a mental note to add Abel to the mural of fallen that had begun construction in the gardens of the Jedi Temple several months before. You will remember his sacrifice. You will remember him when the war is over, and the clones are freed. 

You and Cody will remember him together when the world won't. 

Something’s you just can’t speak about 

The vent drops down ten feet into a small but open control room. Once you plant the bombs, you have ten minutes to follow the marked path back to the ground floor of the foundry before you’re supposed to meet Obi-Wan and Cody on the beach. 

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Your hand slams against your wrist.

Detonation Initiated

TIME: 9:59

  “Killshot! Viper!” You yell, saber ignited as you sprint down the hall and to the adjacent staircase that will lead you to the floor beneath you. The B1 droids on duty yelp at the sudden presence of a Jedi and snap to attention in a futile attempt to stop you with their blasters, but to no avail. “Meet me at the rendezvous!” 

  “Yes Commander!” 

only twenty minutes to sleep, but you dream of some epiphany

You can hear screaming over your comm. Viper and Killshot are ARC Troopers, two of the best in the 212th.. there’s nothing to take them down. That’s what you’d also told yourself in regards to Abel. 

  “Shavit.” 

just one single glimpse of relief to make some sense of what you’ve seen

This floor is alot less crowded then the others. Viper and Killshot are at the point where they agreed to meet you at the debriefing, rifle and blasters out and firing rapidly to eliminate the threat of any droids that dare come near you. 

They had made a promise to their Marshal Commander to get his girl home to him. Cody might not like bearing his heart, but his vode see it every time he looks at you.. and they’re not about to deprive him a bit of happiness when the war has given them so little of it. 

  “Boys, on me!” 

  “Yes Commander!” They shout. 

with you i serve, with you i fall down 

A bolt grazes your shoulder. You yelp at the searing pain across your shoulder blade and whip around to give the hardest Force shove you can muster as you descend to the final floor. 

Your breath catches in your throat. There’s quite a bit of droids left. 

TIME: 5:10

  “There she is!” 

There had been no human guards in this foundry. You’d gotten in, attached the explosives, and had somehow gotten to the main floor without any kind of resistance from those within. Dooku hadn’t even left his best droids here to guard their foundry. 

  “BEHIND YOU!” 

The dread that’s settled in your stomach blossoms when you realize that you are overrun. 

  “PHANTOM!” 

watch you breathe in, watch you breathing out 

Tears burn your eyes as your arms move on their own accord. You are desperately trying to keep your men safe. You are tired and grieving the loss of all the vode who lay outside on that beach, and the natural climate of the planet does nothing when you’re wearing plastoid armor that feels like a second skin. 

with you i serve, with you i fall down 

  “Commander-” Viper starts, and before he can continue, a fatal shot is delivered to his chest that knocks him off his feet. Despite your exhaustion and the fact that your eyes are beginning to blur, you gently place the ARC trooper on the floor outside the door as Killshot continues to take out the activated commando droids. “Phantom-” 

  “You-” You grit your teeth and use The Force to lift him, oblivious to the trickle of blood that trails down your nose and drips into the sand. “Are not dying on me today, soldier! STAY ALIVE!” 

Time: 1:51

  “Look out!” Crys yells. Five or so of the remaining vode snap to attention - including Cody, who has been anxiously following the count down of the timer as he awaits your arrival with his men back on the beach - but he’s now distracted by the body that collapses just in front of the medics. “We need a medic over here! Viper has been hit!” 

The air smells of blood and smoke. 

59.. 58... 

  “Phantom!” That’s Boil - and Cody has no idea where the name came from, but he doesn’t exactly hate it either - yelling into his commlink from beside his Commander as Obi-Wan paces the sand. “The bombs are going to go off in 50 seconds!” 

  “Don’t you think I know that?!” 

  “GET OUT HERE! Kenobi is waiting for you!” 

Mustering all the energy you have left, you raise your hands in the air and throw hundreds of droids backward into the far wall at the other end of the ground floor before you and Killshot are sprinting out into the open and down the sandbar to where Obi-Wan and Cody are waiting for you. 

It hits you square in the face when you see how terrified he looks. You are still too far away for comfort, too close to the blast area, too close to danger... and seeing how many fallen vode are on that beach must make Cody believe he’s about to lose you too. 

Not today. 

  “Are you ready, General?” Cody asks. Obi-Wan nods and braces himself against the sand, digging his toes into his boots as he relaxes his body and concentrates the best that he is able. 

just one single glimpse of relief

to make some sense of what you’ve seen

10..9...8...7....

Cody holds his breath and screws his eyes shut. Please be okay. Please be okay. Please be okay. 

You hold your breath and allow yourself to fall limp in the Force grip that your Master uses to haul you and Viper down the beach. 

  “Cody.” 

Soot covered hands collide with hard white and gold plastoid. You are far enough away from the foundry not to get caught in the blast, and the minute you are safely ensconced in the arms of the Marshal Commander, Obi-Wan slams his hand against his wrist and detonates the bombs. 

The world explodes in a flurry of amber against a sapphire sky. The sun is descending. 

Time to go home. 

*** 

He finds you in the quiet of his quarters. After being released from medical to ensure nothing had happened to you and checking in on Viper, you’d immediately retreated to the sanctity of Cody’s quarters that he very rarely used on The Negotiator. 

The minute the door hisses shut, the weight falls on his shoulders and he shudders. It’s almost as if the world wanted to keep him feeling as light as possible before the weight of reality came back onto his shoulders.

You’d mentioned this before in a novel you’d read. Atlas. 

Yeah. Marshal Commander Cody is Atlas. 

  “Kote,” Your voice echoes through the quarters as you stand in the thresh hold between the kitchen and the bedroom, eyes softening at his state of exhaustion as you beckon him forward. “My love, are you alright?” 

He releases a shuddering breath and falls into the crook of your neck. “No,” Cody rasps, desperation creeping into his voice as he fists the material of your tunic with shaking fingers as he pulls you deeper into the curve of your body. “No. I almost lost you today.” 

Capable fingers swiftly work at removing his armor. Cody doesn’t know it yet, but you have the bath running, and you intend on taking care of him. Someone has to do it. 

Might as well be the person who’s in love with him. 

  “We destroyed the foundry.” 

  “Yeah? But at what cost?” He asks, and you don’t answer. You’d seen the defeat on the clones face as you and Obi-Wan had built them a pyre - a common occurrence after difficult campaigns to give the clones closure - and bid the fallen vode farewell. “We lost so many.” 

  “You didn’t lose me, Cody.” You whisper. “You never will.” 

He shakes his head. Once, twice, three times, he doesn’t believe you-

  “Phantom-” 

Standing in nothing but his blacks, you use the Force to place the pieces of his armor on the sofa before you turn back to him and grip his face in your hands. Your eyes are piercing, certain in your words, your fingers gentle as you cradle him in your grasps. 

  “Never.” You repeat. “You will never lose me.” 

It’s a declaration. One that Cody feels in the depths of his heart as he allows you to lead him into the ‘fresher. “Phantom,” His breath feels hollow in his throat as you turn to peer at him over your shoulder. “I-” The words are poised on the tip of his tongue and he has no problem saying it to the rest of his brothers.. but to you? It feels like he’s teetering on the edge of a boundary he dare not approach. 

  “Cody.” You breathe, taking him into your arms and guiding his hands to rest against your hips. “Look at me.” Dark eyes flutter open to meet your own as you lean in and just barely ghost his mouth with your own. Your fingers flex around the nape of his neck as you stand on the tips of your toes and open your mouth to him, sighing in relief as he blooms like the petals of a flower and opens beneath your touch. 

He hears the thought ring clearly in his mind. 

I love you. 

And the confession makes him want to weep. You’ve known, something tells him you’ve always known, but the fact that he doesn’t have to say it yet makes relief burst in his chest. Oh... there’s just something about the certainty in knowing the person you love also loves you just as fiercely. 

Cody looks at you, and he sees everything he has ever wanted since being brought into the cold sterile home of Kamino. 

You. He sees you. 

  “Just for one night, Cody.” You ask, gently guiding him into the bathtub and reaching for the shampoo on the side of the tub. Cody subconsciously leans into your touch as you begin to lather shampoo into his hair and quietly hum as you do so. “For once.. let someone take care of you. Can you do that?” 

He grips the side of the tub with lax fingers.

  “Of course I can,” He hums. “I’m home.” 

*** 

The Jedi Gardens are the most peaceful part of The Temple outside of the Room of a Thousand Fountains. You have spent much of your time there since before you were taken on as the padawan to High General Obi-Wan Kenobi, and even then, your previous Master had spent much of their time in here. It was the only place in the Temple you could find peace. 

Today, you’re spending your time engrossed in the mural of The Fallen that the Council had given you permission to paint. While you spent the majority of your time nowadays on the front lines with Obi-Wan and the 212th, your hobby during R&R was painting. This mural, this memory, was to test your ability. 

This was month six of working on it. 

Cody is wearing his civilian clothes - a gift from you nearly a year beforehand - and has his hands tucked into his pockets upon entering the temple Gardens. The two of you had agreed to meet for dinner ala picnic style in the Temple later that day despite his reluctance to meet you there for fear of.. people. There were only two jetti he trusted.

One of them he was looking at. 

Splattered in paint, hair messily tied on top of your head, he watches in awe as you finish Abel’s helmet and the blend of gold and white paint across the top before stepping back to admire the work. There’s nearly two dozen helmets painted across the rock face near the little waterfall on this side of the Temple Gardens, and Cody takes that into consideration because it’s truly a beautiful place for an eventual proposal. 

Not that he’s thought about it. 

  “Phantom, love-” He calls out softly, lips quirking upward in the ghost of a smile as you whip around at his presence and beam. He loves that smile. “That’s coming along really well. How long have you been here?” 

  “Just a couple hours.” Your eyes widen in embarrassment as you realize why he’s here. “Oh no, oh no-”

He runs a palm across your hip and pulls you against his body. “You forgot,” Cody muses. “It’s okay. You usually do whenever we come home from the front, but I’m not worried about it.” He bends his head down to ghost his lips over your pulse point, nuzzling your shoulder with his neck and peppering the bare skin there with kisses. Cody’s not sure there’s a sound more beautiful then your laughter. “Not when I’ve got everything I need right here.” 

He wouldn’t dare do this with his General or the vode around. This is a side of Cody only you get to see. 

And little Gods.. do you adore him. 

  “You’re a sap.” 

  “One of us has to be.” 

You link your fingers with his own and lead him to the beginning of the mural. “I wanted to show you this,” You murmur, taking his hand and reaching upward to graze the first word written in white calligraphy across the top of the collected helmets. “For you, my love.” 

Across the top of the rock face reads, 

With you I serve, with you I fall down

A memorial to our fallen vode 

We will remember you 

Even when the world won’t