#and the drive is like 35-40 minutes which is unfortunate but hey that's what ya gotta do when ya live in bumfuck

[threnodians]

things are finally looking up and falling into place and if everything could just continue getting better or honestly just not get any worse again for a year or so that'd be super mega very appreciated 🥲🤞🏻

[gingervsblondie]

Blondie Plays Cupid (1940)

1:54 AM, Monday, 25 November 2019

Whoops it’s been more than a month since I did one of these WHOOPS

Been really busy working on my short film for college and I didn’t find time to keep doing this. But now it’s finished so back to the Blondie grind! There was a point a while back where I had the thought “I’d like to be watching a Blondie right now,” so I guess it may have gotten to the point where these are somehow a comfort thing for me. But hey we’ll see how long that lasts when I’m actually watching one again.

This time it’s Blondie Plays Cupid.

1:58

AAAHHH WTF THEY’RE NOT PLAYING THE THEME SONG! I WAS ABOUT TO START TYPING IT OUT AND NOW IT’S DIFFERENT! THIS IS NOT A GOOD TIME TO BE THROWING CHANGE AT ME!

2:00

Dick Flournoy is credited in the intro but not on the Wikipedia page. Wonder what the deal is there.

2:02

There’s a bunch of dogs in the Bumsteads’ house chasing Daisy right now. Shenanigans, not important, but one who’s got its head stuck in the pet door just did two barks that were definitely played backwards. I have no idea why they were played backwards, but I’m sure I can hear the echo before them.

2:07

Hey, movie got a laugh out of me!

Dagwood found one of Daisy’s bones in his bed. Dagwood: What have I got in my hand? Blondie: Why, it’s a bone. Dagwood: Oh, I’m coming apart! Blondie: Nonsense, you don’t come apart til you’re 40.

Just looked it up, Arthur Lake would’ve been about 35 when he was playing Dagwood in this. I look forward to seeing him come apart in a few films time.

2:10

The dog’s such a good actor. The way it emotes just by looking where it’s been directed sells the anthropomorphism so well.

2:12

This movie’s called Blondie Plays Cupid, but it’s set around the 4th of July, not Valentine’s day. Future Euan, write in a joke about that, I can’t think of one.

Future Euan Note: What does Dagwood call the day when he has to travel and take his photo of his loving wife Blondie with him? In-da-pendant’s day!

idfk man

2:13

I know for sure that within this blog I figured out why old movie crossfades have abrupt shifts in brightness, but I absolutely do not remember. Guess I gotta re-read to find out.

Future Euan Note - The Empire Strikes Back: It’s because each of the clips are fading to black and then superimposed over one another, so it starts and ends at a different opacity than it was.

2:15

Did paint have glue in it in the 40s? Dagwood’s getting stuff stuck to him because he’s touching wet paint, but that’s not a thing wet paint does.

Future Euan Note - Return of the Jedi: A cursory Google search doesn’t show me any evidence that paint ever had glue in it. 

2:17

Blondie: Gets Dagwood’s foot unstuck from wet paint using a plate. Dagwood: “Now how’re you gonna get the plate off?” Blondie: removes the plate without hesitation and walks off. Dagwood: Looks confused. Inspects the wet paint where she took the plate off. Touches it with his hand. Gets stuck.

What a fuckin’ dumbass.

2:18

Dagwood and Alexander Hamilton Bumstead are hiding fireworks and firecrackers from Blondie, but I don’t really get why. To surprise her? This seems like a bit of a stretch to get in more hilarious misunderstandings that are easily avoided if anyone even for a moment tells the truth.

2:20

Okay, the reasoning is that Blondie made Dagwood promise he wouldn’t buy firecrackers.

So they were going to light off some incognito firecrackers.

Stealth firecrackers.

Yeah.

2:23

2:30

Okay, so: the Bumsteads lit a firecracker by mistake. Shenanigans ensued, and they threw it out the window, exploding the mailman, who was trying to evade being run into. Then, to get his revenge, the mailman bought a second firecracker off Alvin the neighbour and threw it through the door at the Bumsteads.

I think Dagwood accidentally bullied the mailman so hard he became a terrorist.

2:38

Dagwood runs out the door in his boxers Blondie: Dagwood! Dagwood! You come right back here. Dagwood: What is it? Now I missed my bus! What do you want? Blondie: (Holding a pair of pants) Haven’t you forgotten something? Dagwood: What? Blondie: You forgot to kiss me goodbye. Dagwood: Aww.

I forgot that Blondie and Dagwood are a sweet couple sometimes. It’s kind of hard to remember when they joke about her divorcing him CONSTANTLY.

2:46

They just had a bit where Alexander Hamilton Bumstead told Daisy to jump over a suitcase repeatedly. Over and over and over. And each time the footage is played slightly slower until it’s in full slow motion.

It’s times like these where I’m convinced these movies are deliberately trying to put me to sleep.

2:55

Ooh, scrolling ahead, this one has some time spent on a train. That resulted in my favourite Blondie scenes last time, so that’s a good sign.

2:57

Hey, Alexander Hamilton Bumstead just told the truth, handing over a firecracker he was hiding to Blondie without her finding it. That was A) a really sweet moment, and B) really satisfying for someone like me who’s crossing their fingers that the fireworks shenanigans weren’t going to continue into the rest of the movie.

Alright I’m gonna pause and continue this tomorrow morning.

3:07

Hey have you seen Final Space? It's on Netflix in Canada. I really liked the first season and the second just went up. It's an animated sci fi comedy, and my take from the start has been that it's not a very good comedy, but it's legitimately great sci fi TV. Season 2 episode 4 made me giddy, it was fantastic. It's all about half of the main cast's spaceship getting trapped in a "time shard," where time passes differently. So it jumps ahead 60 years where part of the cast is cut off from the rest. And one character has a hologram of his dead father that says whatever he types into it in his father's voice. Which I friggin adore. It's so cool. The whole episode was just cool writing. I want to try to achieve that with the Blondie script I'm gonna write. There were moments when I was writing my Sonic script that were really satisfying because I'd read it back and be like "hell yeah, that's cool writing." I have no idea how to explain that in sane terms. I don't mean the things that are happening are cool. I don't mean the Terminator, in sunglasses and a leather jacket with a minigun. I mean the imagery and the ideas feel new and striking and interesting and COOL, ya know? I think I feel that way about really solid set-ups and payoffs. It makes movies like the Spider-Man trilogy and The Darjeeling Limited where dialogue is repeated to signal character growth really satisfying. Or The Truman Show. I just rewatched that recently and that has cool writing in the form of a perfect beginning and a perfect ending (the light falling from the sky in front of Truman, sparking his suspicions in one of the clearest inciting incidents I can think of, and Truman finding the door at the edge of the world, the single coolest visual in the movie.)

Some would say I should channel this passion into something other than Blondie fanfiction. And they're probably right. I'm gonna go to bed and rethink my life.

Tomorrow Morning, 12:23 PM

Aight back to it.

12:30

They stepped up their visual gag game a lot in this movie. There was just a scene where the Bumsteads are at a train station, and Dagwood goes off to get the tickets, then comes back and gets on the wrong train, and when it shows us Blondie and Alexander Hamilton Bumstead sat on the train, you can see Dagwood on the opposite train through the window, and vice versa. Really good framing. Then when he realizes what happens and runs after the train as it’s leaving, there’s a shot of various things getting knocked into the air as Dagwood barges through the crowd. First it’s some letters, then a spilling suitcase and some balloons, and then a full set of bagpipes flies through the air, still making the sound as if it’s being played just so you get that it’s bagpipes.

12:35

12:36

No-one will be seated during the Dagwood spends a long time trying to find something in Blondie’s purse because it’s so full of junk scene.

12:39

No chill train storytime scenes in this one, unfortunately.

1:15

The shenanigans as they’re unfolding right now are that the Bumsteads hitchhiked with what turned out to be a couple in the midst of eloping, and now the bride’s father has arrived with a shotgun in the middle of the ceremony to try and prevent it.

I like these shenanigans.

1:20

Snort watch 2019:

Blondie and the groom couldn’t get a car started, so the owners’ advice was to turn the switch off and “make like you’re going to get out,” and then right as they’re getting out, the car starts.

1:30

There’s a scene where, while pretending to drive the car, Alexander Hamilton Bumstead inadvertently starts it (by making like he’s going to get out) and starts driving it around as Dagwood chases after him. But every shot they show of the car moving, it’s quite clear that there’s a dummy of Alexander Hamilton Bumstead sat in the front seat.

1:32

He’s still driving the car. This scene feels soooooo looooooong.

1:38

I’ve liked a lot of this one but I’m 10 minutes from the end right now and I want more than anything for it to be over.

1:43

Dagwood punched out shotgun dad. Hurray for punching?

1:47

This movie ends with Alexander Hamilton Bumstead accidentally striking oil with a firecracker.

If this were a video and not a blog, I’d find a way to work in my Daniel Plainview impression. But it’s not. So I won’t.

Milkshake.

1:50

And that’s the end of Blondie Plays Cupid. I rather enjoyed it. I’d have enjoyed it more if the jokes it had weren’t stretched out across an hour and 7 minutes, but what’re you gonna do. I wouldn’t be doing this in the first place if I were watching every episode of a 20 minute Blondie TV series.

My Dagwood Sandwich rating: a sandwich containing ham and cheese. It’s fine. It’s rather nice actually. I’ve had it before many times but hey, it’s been a while.