#and the last one !!! tbh the line 'you cant deny you want the happy ending' makes me soft in general. romance. plus i thought like

[bunnyriviere]

my god i cant get my head out of this mess so imma rant, then MAYBE i can focus on my assignment like damn babe i thought your passion is stats, why are you obsessing over a guy that doesnt care enough. huh? care about stats instead babe!!!!!! i just want to only have to care about maths but i know my life is ruined if i dont have relationships, so i try. but i must suck at it so bad if everything just ends in flame like this, im so tired im teary eyes.

im on my phone and honestly dont know how to do the uh line to cut short the post so if anybody unfortunately see this im sr :(

this is not even about a romantic relationship, i dont even know why i just couldnt like a person like that but damn fine. this is about a male friend i made in grade 11 i guess. i have never liked men. im afraid of them and dont want to have to interact with them ever. i know its bad and i should change but i just really want them away from me im sorry..... so i wasnt even friendly with him, but i was polite, i know how to be a decent person. he was friendly and nice and friends to all which only made me think aw geez just stop being friendly i know this is not because you like me. but i was eating the snack he brought to class anytime he brought it without much thought cause he offered i aint gonna say no. all the while still not consider him a friend. not until a friend said im not being nice if im eating his food while still not seeing him as a friend. and i have always feel bad about not being friendlier towards men in general and he made the 1st move which made it easier for me to just go along. so i did and thats how we became friends.

hes really nice and i mean it. i think really highly of him. maybe its just me having bad luck so i havent met many that are nice?? i really believe they are just myth tbh, im about to settle for that thought. and this guy is really how i wish is the standard for all men. hes just that good, i have no complain. i truly like him and glad that my friend said something cause otherwise we probably wouldnt be friends.

again no romantic feeling. i just have to, remind the invisible audiences of this post i guess.

now we all know covid. and because of it, i couldnt come home and wanted to lay in bed even more than normal. so i didnt push for it when he said he couldnt meet anybody in the summer because he didnt want to accidently give somebody it. just saying that cause this is a 2 ways road right, nothing is ever only his fault, its also mine. i want to rant about my feelings but i dont want to dismiss any mistakes i made yk. so we didnt meet up then.

christmas came and before then we were talking about christmas gift and i didnt wanna any so i didnt prepare anything also. this person is too nice and i dont want him to feel bad. but anw i just thought maybe we can still meet up even if its not for gift exchanging. but i didnt ask or anything at all cause well, hes from here, he has family and friends that are definitely closer to him, and he had work. i know hes busy and if he wanna hang out he know where to find me. i just dont want to accidentally add something more onto his list of to do. he would be too nice to say no. and we are not that close i dont want to add more work for him. i dont have relatives or friends here other than him so im free anytime if he wanted to meet up. but that didnt happen, i dont think we talked at all. which fine i hate to admit but i was hurt. ugh hate showing how vulnerable i am. yuck. yikes. -100/10.

i just didnt think about it? i didnt try to reach out either so that was my fault too but just, if he didnt care then i wont either. so i really didnt think about him anymore.

came reading week! it really was 1 year from the last time i saw him honestly. he asked to meet up and if i want to go somewhere and tbh no im in the countryside rn is that the corect word so there are no place to go. but i remembered this 2ndhand place i like to go sometimes and i hadnt gone in a while so why not. so we agreed on that. and i know he was probably just tired, and there are people who sigh a lot, its not uncommon. but not seeing him for a long while and knowing this is a place i suggested, him doing that really made me feel bad. i probably shouldnt, but couldnt get the thought that he was probably doing this just because hes friendly not because hes friend with me. it fucking sucked. when we got out and he dropped me back at my home i still felt so bad he didnt get to enjoy himself so i asked if we could watch jojo together. yeah he loves jojo. i dont really care for anime im so sr i prefer realing manga lmao sr.

now ok maybe im still being dumb, probably. but tldr i truly believe people can be friends and affectionate even when they are from opposite sex. it didnt work out so well cause i got molested lmao cause some other guy thought that was cool to do. so that honestly worsen my uh wariness of men. but like i said, i think ive said it, i trust this person. honestly i do, we hug a lot and i had never felt afraid of it. i believe he wont do anything. im just really comfortable around him. so we cuddled while watching anime, that had happened before im really sr if you think thats wrong, i still believe that could happen.

but maybe its because i was tense from thinking he really didnt enjoy hanging out with me that much. i kept connecting remembering what the molester did and while i just knew i swear i knew he wouldnt do anything like that, i couldnt get it out of my head. i felt bad for that but there were just 2 things that happened so similar to what happened with the molester. haizz he kinda laced our fingers together but it wasnt handholding, same thing happened once before with m-dude and it felt weird but i didnt want to question that friendship so i didnt. and at some point of jojo i kinda jumped and he held me back, not pulled me back or anything but was holding me in place, and it was probably to make me feel safe but honestly if anybody even use a little bit of force i will just think of when i finally got the courage to turn around to confront the other dude for touching me, he held me back and i couldnt move at all. i think i froze a bit.

argh back to the main story. see how i totally suck? hahaha just blaming this friend for something somebody else did. im so sorry, i suck.

well after that we picked up talking again but idk! was it me overthinking? was it? because it felt like he didnt want to talk to me at all. it was, how to say it. he was friendly yes he talked hmm. damn how-- it felt like he didnt care for what i said. its a feeling idk how to put into words. and that sucks. he didnt seem interested in me before, felt happy enough when we cuddled, then back to being uninterested. i knew i know he doesnt want me romantically. damnit am i only good now for hugs. are we friends? what i meant is not sex but am i only good for physical stuff? i dont fucking know, the m-dude obviously just want a fwb and i was to trusting to notice. is this my gut feeling or my anxiety idk!

another side story. another guy suddenly expressed interested in me right when covid hit but it was because he couldnt get over his ex so i stopped talking to him for a while and picked it back up when i thought he was no longer idk being annoying about it. i thought he had to at least like me as a person to even express he liked me romantically. but apparently not. he looked so uniterested suddenly and denied when i asked, then stopped reading my texts.

so you see. i just cant if haiz ok do- do anybody like me? just as a person? idk.

god i knew i fucking suck for being so sensitive and anxious and im sr for wanting stuff but maybe i want you to look like you care a bit when i said you are reminding me of the m-dude, instead of saying ok we can talk less then. i already felt like you dont want to talk to me, you dont have to say that...

officially crying heyho.

just saying no you dont dont like talking to me when your actions were saying the opposite is not cutting it either... i also thought highly of the covid confession guy too but what happened now. im sorry for comparing you to others! but i learn from experiences... and this was sus... (yah its a joke i cant help it.)

and if i just agreed and stopped talking to him right it just, felt like a confirmation that yeah its true hes just letting me hug him not because im his friend and he knows i like hugs so he lets me. but its more like its convenient that a girl is hugging him so he wont say no. something like that. that sucks. thats all im good for. if i were his friend, it would include the talking too.

ah!! i know we are not close, we are both casual friend. he is definitely not on my top list to tell stuff to but damn i still like him enough to hurt. and to not asking for too much.

so anw i kept talking with the anxiety that never got solved and that made me frustrated and i picked at his insecurity to made him hate me enough to stop talking to me cause i couldnt bring myself to stop, id feel so bad. this is really toxic and i admit this is not the first time ive done it, to a different person but its the same thing.

hahaha act like i hate him while just want him to see how i feel so bad. yeah im a tsundere.

it worked so i stopped talking to him for a week and focused on talking to my other friends. friends i know without a doubt love me and want me because i really didnt feel that with him at all. sorry i know you were tired with covid.

that made me felt better and i was not in panic mode anymore, i can calmly assess things now. and before, i felt bad because i truly believed i was just seeing things, i couldnt see pass my anxiety and was blaming him for what, nothing. he did want to talk to me. but my mind was clearer after that one week and yeah i cant really make more excuses? yes i was sensitive and made things worse, but there must be something for me to pick up first. it didnt just come out of thin air.

so i sent him some texts saying that, because just leaving without a word is bad communication. i have to tell him and at least give him a chance to change i guess? did he need change? im doubting myself.

i- hm he just said yeah his look and way of talking really make him look like hes tired and uninterested, and laughed at my marie kondo joke. you know the one. idk! all i saw in that was yeah thats how it is, accept it. and i-- i, cant? i dont want to... i dont want to :(

but my mindset for just about anything is value the process, not the result, like as long as you put work in! thats great! and he- he was, talking... he put work in..... i would feel so bad to deny it. but at the same time, it was not enough... i hate! to say you need to do at least this and that! but it didnt feel like enough..... im sorry :(((( i am.

ive talked about my tendency to lash out. last time i didnt want it but i had to get away quick so i didnt mean it but i still did it. but this time i was truly angry. because i just wished there was more care for me but i know that was all there was, and i couldnt do anything about it. couldnt even ignore him. he was even drier then, and i got it, i lashed out at him, ofc he wasnt going to be friendly. but just why were you trying so hard... no, no it was not trying hard, you were answering texts at the speed of once every 2 days. why were you answering at all? you clearly didnt want to. but again so was i. did i really have a say.

so i sent angry texts at him. about how fake his friendliness was, did he really consider me friend, why did he keep saying no it was not that he was uninterested while it was obvious that he was. also that i want to fight him. i really do want to. hopefully he will beat me up hard enough that i can be in a coma and die in 9 months idk. (listen 9 months is enough time to make a new human, if im not awake by then, you need to let me go, thats my wish.)

he said that no he doesnt like to fight and thats the last text i got from him.

because ofc i dont hate him him, the whole him idk what im saying. just angry and hate that hes not matching me on how we value this relationship i guess. not besties like how he likes to joke, but eh, was hoping more than what i was sensing. i still sent a text being like ok fine do you still want to talk and if so how do you want me to do. but he didnt answer it in time so i decided for him that nah we wont talk anymore.

heyho i was sad, i am sad. and ok hear me out, HEAR ME, i dont use tarot for future but just for my feelings and how to deal with them, and my deck said ok babe this is the end, you will have to move on now. so i will.

tbh lmao for every relationships that i emotionally invested in. i always make an essay on my feelings because thats how i conclude things, and so i wont forget that my feelings are legit. so the moment i started this post, hes dead to me i guess.

wow this post is long. but i did really like him so.

im moving to uni city next month but i know he will leave in the summer so i wont have to worry about seeing him then. and probably not further in the future either, we go to different uni and are quite far away and our common are not gonna question things i dont think. dont think they would even notice, we are not in a group or anything. and even if i do end up meeting him. my feelings while was anger, but it stemmed from sadness and disappointment so it wouldnt be too bad. on the other hand... m-dude..... i am afraid of meeting you, lets please please please not meet damnit.

[asrasotherbottom]

O, M, I, and K for Lucio and Julian? (Asra too if you feel like it) I’m not really sure how you’re gonna do it, whether you’re going with short fics or headcannons, but if it’s fics then you don’t have to do all of them at once :) however you wanna go about it! ily ♥️

(LUCIO AND JULIAN ARE UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE THIS GOT LONG)

Asra

[M] Motivation (turn ons etc)

Pretty much anything. 

His primary motivation is that he just loves MC and he thinks theyre incredible in every way and he wants to fuck them. 

Small things in public or in passing are very hot to him. 

A quick tug on his hair, running their nails down his arm or shoulder, a kiss that lasts a moment longer than it needs to, a hand sliding across the small of his back, a wink from across the shop, intentional brushing their hand across his hip or stomach will all bring him on board to fuck almost immediately

Anything large that indicates MC Wants Him. Anything. The phrase “I want you”, an intentional tug into a back room, pushing him down on the bed, MC offering to help him undress, etc. 

[O] Orgasm Denial (how do they do it, do they like it done to them) -Done here

[I] Intimacy 

Intimacy is in Asra’s very soul. There is nothing more important to Asra when he’s dating MC than intimacy with them. 

Lazy mornings in bed together wearing only their blanket while he strokes their hair and cheek. 

Kisses on the head as they walk past the other when one of them is sitting down. 

Wrapping his arms around MC while they’re cooking or making tea and leaning his head on them.

Sometimes he’ll stop in the middle of kissing them to run his thumb along their lower lip while he smiles, on the verge of tears from happiness. 

Asra showing MC more fully around his oasis and exploring together (likewise, the intimacy of when MC sets up their gate and he joins them the first time)

Feeling their heartbeats together with his head on their chest or vice versa

Squeezing their hand gently while they’re out walking together and holding hands. 

[K] Kink

Asra is the negotiator of MC’s dreams. He may be disorganized and a mess in most ways, but he takes negotiation and talking about kink super seriously. 

He has lists and charts and a notebook where he records what worked and what didnt.

He’ll try just about anything once, not anything, but just about. 

He likes the good ol’ standby BDSM. He’s a verse switch in every possible meaning of that word.  He loves dishing it out and he loves taking it. He loves being tied up by MC and doing the tying. 

Pegging is a favorite of his. (Anything having to do with his prostate really if you HC him as amab. Prostate milking too)

Absolutely a monsterfucker. 

Julian

[M] Motivation (turn ons etc)

Julian is honestly almost always “on” tbh. 

Running nails over his exposed skin (especially the back of his neck) is a sure turn on for him.

Biting of any sort, anywhere, any time. 

Anything that implies MC is going to take the reigns. A smoldering look, a quick smack on the butt, a whispered command, a wink, anything.

A huge turn on is witty banter. Witty banter where he knows that no matter what he says or how cocky he acts, the look in MC’s eye assures him that they know he’s theirs. 

Also i know its cliche but hes a huge sucker for when MC makes eye contact while licking something, he just pops a boner. 

[O] Orgasm Denial (how do they do it, do they like it done to them)

He can deny orgasms or edge MC when he’s in the right mood. But he does tend to give in quickly. 

Most commonly he wants MC to earn it. He wants to hear them beg for his touch and to work for his touch and to earn their orgasm. 

He sometimes likes the feeling of control, but he really just loves seeing the way MC loves being edged and the look on their face when he finally lets them cum. 

He lives for orgasm denial on the receiving end, it doesnt matter the context (punishment,etc) he just loves it all. 

He’s very very whiny though when he’s being edged, a subby begging mess at all times. 

Sometimes he’ll edge himself while masturbating just for fun honestly. 

[I] Intimacy- Done here

[K] Kink

Yeah

Just like…most of them. 

Especially humiliation and degradation ones (…any… humiliation ones he’s pretty much willing to at least try)

Also anything public (without exposing nonconsenting parties to whats happening), be that “under the table”, quickies in an alley, rope bondage under his clothes, being ordered around by MC during the day, anything where he feels that he and MC have a dirty little secret. 

Experienced in talking about kink, its pretty much second nature to him, so he always knows what questions to ask and  has experience knowing what sort of weird situations they should be prepared for.  

He’s great at negotiations and he’s creative and he’s experienced. 

Its about The Catharsis, babey. 

Lucio

[M] Motivation (turn ons etc)

Lucio is HUGE into dirty talk, its a huge turn on for him for MC to tell him, in detail, exactly what they want to do to him. 

Teasing, verbal teasing, physical teasing, as long as MC doesn’t press any of his Hey I’m Sensitive About That buttons, teasings a turn on. 

The phrase “Prove it”

The phrase “Make me” 

Anything involving suggestive sword positioning. 

Biting his lip when he and MC kiss. 

Anything where MC challenges him for dominance in a flirty situation drives him wild too. 

[O] Orgasm Denial (how do they do it, do they like it done to them)

He loves denying MC orgasms, it makes him feel Powerful and In Control and In Charge. 

Especially if they have to beg for it, to Tell Him that they’re at his mercy. 

He’s a giver after all, but it doesn’t keep his attention that long. He can edge them for a while but it feels repetitive for him, so it usually isn’t an extended endeavor. 

He always asks to engage in orgasm denial but he is a weenie about it at the end of the day. 

He loves watching MC feel powerful and he loves pleasing them and begging for them (even when its being used as a punishment in the scene) 

But if they draw it out too long he starts complaining in earnest. It’s not fun for him if it feels like he’s never going to be allowed to cum.

[I] Intimacy

Its hard for Lucio to strip down to honest and more importantly, earnest intimacy, especially if it means vulnerability on his part. 

Kissing MC’s hand or shoulders or arms is a big point of intimate contact for him. 

Letting MC undress him is intimate for him, he’ll try to act very cocky about it at first, but if they just quietly help him undress, the domesticity of it gets to him and he feels deeply close to them. 

Playing with his hair. 

Holding MC close to his chest while they lay in bed is very likely to bring up feelings for him and its intimate. 

Anything involving seeing him not Looking His Best and them giving him a reassuring kiss or stroke of the cheek is enough to bring him almost to tears. 

[K] Kink

So he already has a public humiliation kink and I can see that yeah.(As much as its like a Confirmed Joke or w/e that he’s into piss, i think at the very least retention kink is very in line with what he’d be into) 

He’s a brat in bed, like, bdsm brat. 

He is….bad at negotiations. He always is wondering why they’re needed and he always tries to ask for things that they didnt agree too ahead of time while hes fucking. 

He talks a BIG game and never admits that he’s a weenie about something when he SHOULD. (Like…no ones gonna judge him if he doesnt want the XXL 12 foot long undulating anal plug but is he gonna admit that he cant take it? no)

Predator/Prey but mostly as the predator. 

You asked for MY headcanons so you’re getting that Lucio’s into feedism because he Is. . 

[roxannepolice]

Long asks anon again, here to offer my opinion on the current wank. Rey as a character is rather blatantly breaking sw story rules and nothing is going to get SFF fans hackles up like rule breakage. This is root of both the MarySue accusations and current wank. Rey has a tragic backstory thats doubling as the only failure she can call her own. But its a) damn near entirely offscreen and b) serves as convenient justification for why shes competent at near everything that comes up.

Reys instantly good at the force because of a convenient force download that to the best of my knowledge only occured in the noncanon KOTOR II and quite frankly cant blame most of the general audience for not getting because without prior knowledge or the novelizations why would they? She has darkness in her but as so far used and touched it consequence free and its almost entirely symbolically externalized on the Kylo (and in SW symbolism is Real in a way it isnt in other narratives) Shes strong in the force because Light rises to meet Dark but to quote the current crop of movies ‘thats not how the force works) or at least thats never how it worked before. Shes the first SW protagonist to go behind enemy lines and come out with both hands in the second movie. For ppl wondering how come Luke and Ani never get labeled MarySues, this is why, they got thier asses handed to them, Rey hasnt. There /is/ something /off/ in Reys story, and ppl pick up on it. if you can make a post (w/ over 1k notes!) about how great it is that a character meant to prop up 7hrs worth of movies has little to no character development to go through, somethings off. If multiple ppl can make posts about how its neat Rey can tap into the darkside (still characterized as evil in ST) consequence free (with some quite frankly stupid justifications, 'shes disciplined’ really? jedi lacked a lot of things thats not one of them) somethings off and again, if the only failure your main heroine has is /entirely retroactive something’s off/. If the story were getting with the is the story most ppl think we are, a 'female empowerment’ (i dont feel particularly empowered by being told I have an equal chance at being a deus ex machina but ok) than well, her story is over and theres no need for IX (hell it could have been over in TFA, most ppl assumed she had accepted her place as the future jedi in that one) and no need for reylo The ST was always gonna deconstruct all that came before it purely by virtue of being a sequel. The tragedy of anakin skywalker is now a farce, the happy ot ending now a tragedy, and the mythopoetic structure shot to shit in the name of serialization and perpetual warfare. this stand true for all the sequel characters including rey and ben. the only question is are we going to get anything out of it? I compare it to home renovation. You can knock out a wall and the walls gone, but new opportunities arise. With Benlo, I’m reasonably confident that there will be at least some attempt to take advantage of the new space. With rey and the resistance kids? not so much. it just feels like they knocked down a blue wall to rebuild it as pink one and at the point it just feels like a waste of time because ive seen this before. Ive seen pure cinnamon roll desert orphan reform jedi order If this was all youre going to do that the fuck was the point? which circles around to my problem with team good guy this go around and That Scene. JJ twisted the story into a pretzel to justify the winners of the last round being the underdogs again and then rian twisted so much further the storys head may as well be up its own ass. And then at the very end he shoots it all to shit and rushes to reassure us its all gonna be okay. He removes the entire point of the underdog trope /the tension that comes from the fact that they might lose/. I mean there wasnt a whole lot of that to begin with already but really? So theres no tension that Reys gonna win so her journey feels frictionless, and theres no question where shes gonna end up so full offense why give a shit? Thats where the whole 'can rey lose a fight?’ thing comes from. Ppl want conflict in her arc to justify its existence and give us a reason why this her story to begin with. if the only character going through growth for all three movies is ben, if the only characters whos fate is up in the air is ben, and if all the tension in the reylo relationship comes from ben, then why is this /reys story/? why not just make it about the character actually driving all the drama and thus, the story?   As a final thought, im going to add that having Kylo be aware and insecure that hes never gonna be as Iconic as Vader was a great story choice, regardless of where ends up. Current Rebels, on the other hand, seems to have not gotten the memo that they are never gonna be as iconic as Original Rebels, and the story itself seems to being trying to sell them to me as being better. Rey is Luke but better, Poe/Finn are Han wo the smuggler grit, and id be lying if i said it didnt piss me off.

&

Long asks anon to kick down ur door again, AND ANOTHER THING. SW is a lotta things. Subtle aint one of them, and St hasnt changed in that regard. If you have to debate it chances are either a) ur arguing counter to the text in which case mor power to you but not really helpful for predictions or intended meaning or b) /it aint there. A bunch of ppl didnt like anidala, but nobody doubted we were supposed to think they were in love by the end of AOTC, bunch of ppl didnt like poes arc, but no one doubts he fucked up by not listening to holdo was the intended take away. Which brings to rey and flaws or lack there of. Were told rey has flaws but she has yet to suffer any real consequences from them with the exception of The Damn Parentage Wank, which again, pulls the double duty of making her hyper competent at everything. Because rey has no consequences for her flaws, from a story function pov there aren’t any. If rey did have a flaw to overcome, we would all agree what it was

Now won’t you all just look at this beautiful, spot on rant which has been lagging in my askbox since the last time Rey’s flaws or lack thereof were the discourse’s focus (November, I believe?) and suddenly became a thing again, courtesy of Tweetgate. I think you really summed up the crux of this debate wonderfully, anon.

I particularly agree with the part about Rey not getting narratively punished for whatever flaws we’d like her to have (great point about returning from behind the enemy lines with both arms still in place), when SW don’t stay away from allowing characters to get “punished” even for otherwise applaudable features - vide Padmé, whose idealism is what Palps manipulates into gaining more power (this is why Padmé will never come off as a Mary Sue or too perfect, btw). But I’ll say even more - Rey doesn’t even get called out on her flaws, except for by Ben, who’s mostly dismissed as a baddie like Palpatine saying Luke was foolish to rely on his friends. Let’s just consider one thing - both Anakin and Luke get called out on their flaws by Yoda (Anakin repeatedly and by lots of other people for that matter) whereas with Rey, the same grumpy-yet-jolly senex pops up from the afterlife to further inform us what a great jedi material she is.

TBH, I have a very cynical theory as to why Rey is being pushed as the main character while it’s difficult to deny that it’s Kylo Ben who does all the plot heavy lifting. I’m pretty sure Ben’s arc was the first one DLF thought out (and the big question is, was it the only one they thought out) and only later on decided to make Rey the main character, which also involved much less spontaneous writing. Mind you, it’s not as if benepemption didn’t have a manufactured subtaste to it, but with Rey’s heroine’s journey stiff structure occasionally substitutes any in-world explanations of her actions (this is why I have to hope renperor has some narrative purpose rather than happening because lovers need to be separated and anti-hero needs to achieve what he wanted in 2nd act). I feel as if whatever potential her character had (and hopefully still has, pending IX) got smothered by layer upon layer of making her likable by everyone, which largely relied on negative characterization: she’s not helpless, she’s not too naive, not cynical, not too emotional, not too emotionless, not morally corruptible, not anything you’ve ever complained about regarding any SW character, not falling for the bad boy, not not not - and in the end it’s kinda difficult to say what Rey is like and while the goal of making her widely likable was achieved, it also made it almost impossible to view her as loveably flawed/annoying like the classic characters. And on top of all this is the matter of making her a nobody just like you!, as DLF appears to say with uncle Sam’s gesture (which also kinda assumes the existence of a Star Wars fan as some uniform entity? because if you identify with her, good for you, I just don’t understand why the franchise assumes I’ll identify with her by the grace of being a SW fan alone), because, as you excellently put it, the message here is that everyone can be chosen by God - which again, it’s not as if the saga ever contradicted this, so why the hell make a case of it? I can’t agree that it’s made into Rey’s flaw, though, imo her low birth only serves to further frame her as an oppressed virtue. And I definitely agree regarding too much of her growth being left off-screen, or before the story ever begins. The problem here isn’t even that it is left off-screen (it’s not as if we had huge insight into any of the pt or ot characters) but rather that her characterizations is left off-screen while being depicted as at least untypical (unique to put it bluntly) for her situation (same goes for Finn). A hopeful, kind person growing up on her on her own in slavery under a nicer name is a rarity and DLF makes a case for it being a rarity - and this sparks up curiosity in her past, as if market pandering to Re/sky wasn’t enough. So from this pov her un-reveal being frustrating isn’t just a case of not wanting to love her or her self only a potentially deeper psychological question getting answered with well, light.

I should add, Ben’s arc feels like the most spontaneous one (though Finn’s may yet be a masterpiece) and he’s the one to admit his fear of not living up to Vader’s legacy, because I think he’s the character serving as the creators’ vessel, more or less like Luke was Lucas’ avatar in ot. In his fear regarding Vader’s legacy one can feel Disney’s fear due to having bought popculture’s holy grail and not being entirely sure what to do with it. On this background, Rey (a literal scavenger of OT’s pieces) and rebels 2.0 repeatedly blessed by Leia come off as what DLF would want to be. And the result is that the character which was supposed to be Vader 2.0 proves the most original and surprising one, whereas “breaths of fresh air” come off as room aromatizers with “fresh” written on them.

And as far as the plot being bended into a pretzel and then disappearing up it’s own ass, well, a part of me is still hoping that taking virtually the same villains as before is a mythological-psychoanalitical metaphor of a nigredo repeating itself until the unconscious gets accepted by the conscious…. but, tbh, as the leaks flow this hope is withering.

[sunnyvaiprion]

Hi! I have a question (two actually) So how do you use Mr Dark Prince in battle? And is there a 4th mysterious member along your Julius/Reinhardt/Child!Azura team? (I love these interactions of them you draw btw~)

Oh, thanks!! 

About the team: yes! Since it’s a primarily AR team, there are two more! One of them is basically defaulted to Eir, but more often than not she stays as far away as she possibly can from any action (she has a nice heal though. Also she can throw Julius into enemies if he cant walk there fast himself). And second is a wildcard that varies from team to team (it was supposed to be a bonus unit, but it seems like Eir will stay for quite a long time), but my “main” now uses Bride Ninian for… no apparent reson besides being a dancer and me liking her. I will most likely change her for someone else/heavily alter her build because it’s actually pretty wacky with this team, but for now she stays (because she can fulfill her main purpose which is assisting trap removal in tight spaces). 

And now, About Julius: Ranged units can be a major pain. Sometimes (more like nearly always) you cant initiate on one and run without the rest of them scattering like dust particles if you blow on them all across the map with their dancers (especially now with Lazura), and to bait them you need someone who can take entire triangle and probably physical damage too, all at once. Use a dragon? Yes… a dragon.

Due to it being a somewhat lenghty text, I am putting it under the cut. 

If someone else thought about using him but was afraid that he isnt “a good unit” or “not favoured by meta” - I’d recommend you read into this too!

I have my Julius with Loptous, Reposition, Iceberg, Distant Defence, Guard, Attack Ploy, and another Distant Defence. which is - a wall. I place him in a space where he can be targeted by units I want (nearly any ranged, tbh. IF there’s a melee frontiline unit - Reinhardt has a message for them.) so he can kill them or hold them in place, and make sure my team can give him maximum amount of drives without putting anyone in danger. (oftenmost it’s just Azura and that’s it but still). 

Pros:

It’s VERY hard to kill him during EP. Even blue mages and bows/daggers with high attack struggle to deal non-zero damage to him, especially pre-dance. TA blue mage dancers included, as they usually dont break 50 attack mark by much.

No specials. Unless a special is pre-charged on turn 1 (or 2CD with Heavy/Flashing blade after dance), no luck trying to damage him with one either while guard is up and have fun offing it. Glimmer still deals a 0. Moonbow most likely a single digit.

He has high attack but without QR he will unlikely kill a unit coming at him on their first initiation (unless its low res green OR Reinhardt)…. which will waste a dancer’s turn to dance them instead of dancing some out-of-range thing you DONT want to attack, like a melee fast sword in that far-off corner.

On second initiation (if danced, alternatively someone else if the first unit died or didnt get a dance) that unit is guaranteed dead, though, because Iceberg hits like a truck especially with his already nice attack and STUPIDLY HIGH RES especially on EP. If they somehow survive this (Aversa with res wave on comes to mind) - its not a crazy PP unit so their damage is definitely a hard 0, so no biggie. Also works with a fast dazzle staff or if first enemy fails to double, since CD is 3.

With his res he can atk ploy virtually any unit of his choice, making the most dangerous unit to him (usually a physical or Ophelia) less dangerous at least pre-dance (when they have a chance to land more attacks).

His speed is actually not THAT bad. He usually doesnt mind getting doubled, but still. If you throw some speed buffs on him he can deny even some fast units their doubles. This might come in handy when fighting aforementioned units.

He is a lot easier to actually obtain and merge than similar units (Micaiah, Deirdre, Kliff maybe?) due to not being a 5-star locked or even limited unit. Unless you are a whale, and I dont judge, but for me it’s a big plus right there. Skills I have on him are also all widely available (I got DD off Garon).

Ranged anti-dragon weapons are all green (= normal blue for Julius, multiplier-wise). After Nagas got refines I actually started seeing them on defence maps. Guess what, still 0 damage. Daggers are trickier but a lot rarer and still manageable. They added an inheritable one just now but… why would anyone actually use it on heroes except it’s native user (who is also green) ?? Either way you wont see much of that.

See that Surtr? Julius will take care of him for you, too, with his high attack. In a single hit, if you pre-charge his Iceberg on something else. I know that almost any red mage can do it, but I heared some people still struggle. He can take a DC-hit from him too, if he runs one.

He can tank Ophelia, but be careful. For her he needs res buffs, especially the visible one, because of her initial AoE. Atk ploy her. If she can get an attack buff, It’d be great for you to have panic ploy too (right now there’s a lot of options, including Panic Manor). On a positive note, there should be plenty of mages on the same team as her, probably red and green, which wont really bother him afterwards.  

That’s Julius. We love our possessed lord.

Cons:    

While he takes little to no damage from any ranged source, Poison Strike-esque damage will get him good. Pain+ healers arent particulary dangerous because they cant deal any more damage to him no matter what, but units like firesweep bow double poison lyn are not very nice for him to face head-on (yes, I hate her in particular with burning passion), especially if she gets danced, receive a buff and attacks again, while there are other non-zero damage units in the back. But unlike a melee unit in the front line, it’s not always an option to snipe her (or any other unit like her) prior to Julius getting in range. This is, honestly, your worst nightmare. Be very careful with things like that and calculate damage dealt to make sure he wont die. … even though I think it’s not just his problem. But he doesnt easily solve it.  

He is reliant on team support to fight ranged physicals. Not going to lie about it. Def Tactic (or a wave if you’re into them) and 1-2 drive defs (ideally distant guard) should do, which is by no means too much investment, but it should be done.

His player phase leaves a lot to be desired. But like… what’s new? He’s enemy phase per advertisement. He still can Iceberg someone to the ground should he have it ready, or finish off someone previously mangled in EP, though.

He’s likely to deal more than 50% HP in one hit to PP heroes, especially ones that dump res or run LnD, which will activate wings of mercy, and a WoM melee unit can warp to his face and smack him. BUT usually dancers run WoM, and those have lower-end stats, so he should be okay at the very least. The only lancer dancer in the game is OG Azura, but …when was the last time I’ve seen her…  anyway, be careful with WoM.

He’s going to get Chill Res’d. He will get Chill Res’d every time every day of the week cause you wont find any ally with more res than him to “bait” chill res. It’s not like he will die from it though.

He’s infantry, so unfortunately, no easy fortify/wards for him. But if he was any other movtype - it’d bring it’s own problems, so… maybe it’s for the best. Also distant guard is a thing now.

He wants to stay above 80% hp and it’s very easy until he starts taking 5+ damage per hit. If it’s the case - you need to start paying attention to enemy specials again, especially longer CD ones.

Alternatives: While I am happy with how he does his job for now, I am planning make one adjustment, which is - give him Steady Stance 4. (once I get the fodder Surtr, which is not so soon). It will allow him to use his entire HP pool more effectively, and will give him extra survivability against physical threats, even if by a little bit. Additionally, it will protect him againt melee units too (like a WoM dancer teleporting to him) for safety measures and it will open up B slot! Losing 6 res (and 3 Iceberg damage) is not a big deal compared to all those benifits, ESPECIALLY since staying above 80% would be no longer needed.    

I .. dont really have a plan what to put in B slot then, because I intentionally want to avoid QR for a reason I explained above. But hey, I’ll figure something out when the time comes. However QR is also a viable option if you want him to kill everything in one go.

Iceberg is also, in theory, could be replaced by Glacies, if you want more damage. But I personally decided against it, because Iceberg’s cooldown is easier to manage and it’s damage is already enough in most cases. Also Iceberg is a lot better with QR should you want to use him for insta-kills.

And for the love of Loptyr himself, dont try to build him player phase or give him Fury. There are heroes with a lot better stat spreads for PP (yes, I’ve seen a PP Julius), and Fury is a fastest way to turn off Guard/QR and ruin his excellent ability to take zeros from most things. I tried it while I didnt have DD to fodder, and I didnt get much out of it. 

Now, he fits on virtually any map, but here are some examples of AR maps which he absolutely murdered.

I rely on my dragon! I’m very glad I decided to pick him up, even if he’s not that popular of a unit. 

[midnight-circus]

alphabetical OC meme

filled this out for Lord Asshole bc i cant write anything so i may as well fill in questionnaires instead

also numerous numbers and at least one section were missing when i copied it so idk what happened there

under the cut bc its Long As Hell

A: Aptitude 1. what are your oc’s natural abilities, things they’ve been doing since young? // Independence lmao. He could get through his whole life relying entirely on himself if need be. He wouldn’t be happy, but he’d survive. He’s also naturally intellectual and has never had to try very hard in academia.

2. what activities have they participated in? // literally what does this mean. Safe to say he’s not exactly playing team sports.

3. what abilities do they have that they’ve worked for? // He’s had to work extremely hard to shed the bad habits learnt whilst growing up in a white aristocratic dysfunctional family. Other than that, he’s a talented pianist – the only thing his mother was ever proud of. Also sending work-emails that don’t make him sound like a total dick. still working on that tbh

4. what things are they bad at? // Honestly, anything creative. He’s very intelligent but has absolutely no artistic talent, and he’s not at all imaginative – creating something out of nothing when it doesn’t have a logical or scientific basis is pretty beyond him.

5. what is their most impressive talent? // In his original AU, and any fantasy AUs I force him kicking and screaming into, swordsmanship. He’s pretty untouchable with a blade.

B: Basics 1. what is their hair color?// Dark brown, close to black.

2. what is their eye color? // Also dark brown.

3. how tall are they? // 6’2

4. how old are they? // He fluctuates depending on the AU, but his default base-age is 34.

5. how much do they weigh? // Generally between 150-180lbs, depending on his age, eating habits and mental state. When he’s going through stress, his eating and sleeping patterns are the first to nosedive.

C: Comfort 1. how do they sit in a chair? // His posture leaves a lot to be desired. He slouches pretty badly, and to be honest his height makes it difficult to get comfortable in most regular chairs. He also manspreads, though to be fair his legs are about 3 miles long and it’s hard to know where to put them honestly

2. in what position do they sleep? // Either on his side or his front. Never on his back.

4. what is their major comfort food? why? // oh man sugar. His eating habits aren’t good at the best of times, but when he’s feeling Mentally Ill he’s prone to 4am binges of as much sugar as conceivably possible in one sitting. He then goes for a 5am run until he throws up, so yknow. all nice and healthy.

5. who is the best at comforting them when down? // Elrick. Gross. Also Kat, to be fair.

D: Decoration 1. how would they decorate a house if they had one under their name? // He’s very fond of Nordic design and tries to keep vibrancy to a minimum, because he’s a boring bitch. Light walls, dark woods, pretty stylish furniture but no chrome Thank You Very Much; accent colours would probably be dark blues or greens. Plants, but only if he doesn’t have to water them because he Will forget and they Will all die. He’s also anal as fuck and despises mess and disorder, which makes living with Elrick fuckin interesting to say the least.

2. how would they decorate their child’s room? // however they wanted as long as it wasn’t pastels bc a man has to draw the line somewhere

3. how do they decorate their own room? // muted, calm, maybe a little regency – he accessorises more in the bedroom than he does in the rest of the house, gold accents here and there, that sort of thing. Less austere, more opulent. At the end of the day, he’s from an aristocratic background, however unhealthy his upbringing was – he can never quite shed the appreciation for luxe.

4. what type of clothes and accessories do they wear? // He dresses well – very put-together, if very monochrome. He doesn’t do casual very well and will avoid jeans unless he has no other choice. He would quite literally rather die than wear shorts. As for colours, generally blacks, greys, dark jewel-tones (maroons, dark greens, dark purples, etc). Very rarely light colours, and if he does wear light tones he layers them – a white shirt under a dark leather jacket, for example. As for accessories, he stays simple with a decent watch (Patek Phillipe, thanks, none of this Rolex bullshit) and two rings (wedding ring and onyx signet ring – family heirloom, the only one he has). He knows how to dress to suit himself.

5. do they like makeup/nail/beauty trends? // >:[  

E: External Personality 1. does the way they do things portray their internal personality? // For the most part. How he behaves has been moulded over many years by how he thinks and feels, and it’s hard to shed the habits of a lifetime. EG, he’s very neurotic and it does have an impact on his organisation – if his mental state slips into decline, so too does his command over his surroundings and his ability to keep things on track.

2. do they do things that conform to the norm? // Again, for the most part. A key element of his upbringing was the overbearing sense of being watched, being judged, being on display; one behaves the way one is expected to behave, and one never deviates from that path. Obviously he fucked that one right up when he started putting dicks in his mouth, but it still remains something of a mantra.

3. do they follow trends or do their own thing? // Neither, really. He doesn’t follow trends because he’s actually 70 years old and doesn’t know what they are, but nor is he particularly unconventional. He does his own thing because he has no idea what anybody else is currently doing.

4. are they up-to-date on the internet fads? // oh god no. he has a twitter account but the last time he used it he got drunk and tweeted at jeremy paxman that he was a cunt so he doesn’t really engage with it very much

5. do they portray their personality intentionally or let people figure it out on their own? // People are left to figure it out. He doesn’t go out of his way to make friends or advertise his personality – he’s friendly when he needs to be, but is not the sort of person to go out actively socialising.

G: Gorgeous 1. what is their most attractive external feature? // His height makes him pretty popular and he knows how to dress well. He also has that particular ‘tall, thin, dark hair, pale skin, heroin-addict-esque’ chic that some people tend to go for. He doesn’t really get it, himself.

2. what is the most attractive part of their personality? // He’s witty in a very dry way – a little sharper than run-of-the-mill sarcasm.

3. what benefits come with being their friend? // Ok honestly? Money lmao. idk man you’d have to ask Kat bc she’s the only one who’s lasted this long

4. what parts of them do they like and dislike? // Though he projects an aura of self-assurance, he really doesn’t like very much about himself; his upbringing and unhealthy relationship with Catholicism did a number of his self-esteem. He’s proud of his intellect and knows he is smarter than the average person, but other than that, not a great deal.

5. what parts of others do they envy? // General happiness. He’s a melancholy person by nature and doesn’t tend to feel a swell of positive emotions for no reason – he can’t help but feel there’s something inherently wrong in his brain.

H: Heat 1. do they rather a hot or cold room? // n e i t h e r bitch his internal temperature must remain on an even keel at all times. Probably cold, if he was forced to pick.

2. do they prefer summer or winter? // Winter because it means he can wear layers

3. do they like the snow? // yes but he’ll never admit it. he finds it romantic. that must never be repeated.

4. do they have a favorite summer activity? // lying in front of the fridge cursing God

5. do they have a favorite winter activity? // coffee dates. Independent coffee shops, mind you – fuck Sbux.

I: In-the-closet 1. what is their sexuality? // Gay

2. have they ever questioned their sexuality? // he spent more than half his teen years wishing he was straight

3. have they ever questioned their gender? // No

4. would/was their family be okay with them being LGBT? // mother denies it completely, father kicked him out, brother doesn’t give a shit bc he’s bi as hell himself

5. how long would/did it take for them to come out? // He was forced out at 16 when he was caught with a boyfriend in the boathouse of Darlington estate – it marked the end of an already abusive parental relationship. To be honest, it’s hard to say if he would have ever had the courage to come out himself.

J: Joy 1. what makes them happy? // Feeling loved. He got very little of that in his youth.

2. who makes them happy? // Elrick has an uncanny ability. Who’d have thought it.

3. are there any songs that bring them joy? // He particularly loves Dancing in the Dark by Springsteen, and All Along the Watchtower by Hendrix. Neither are very joyful songs, granted, but they’re two of his favourites.

4. are they happy often? // He’s contented often, and he enjoys his life. ‘Happy’, though? Not sure.

K: Kill 1. have they ever thought about suicide? // More than once.

2. have they ever thought about homicide? // Not with any real intent. In a modern AU, anyway – can’t say the same for any of his other incarnations.

3. if they could kill anyone without punishment, would they? who? // Way deep down somewhere, he’d be tempted to say his father.

4. who would miss them if they died? // More people than he knows.

5. who would be happy they died, anyone? // lmao the tax agency probably. His father wouldn’t be happy, per se, but perhaps it would solve a problem.

L: Lemons 1. what is their favorite fruit? // Black cherries.

2. what is their least favorite fruit? // fuck bananas, honestly

3. are there any foods they hate? // Peanut butter can die, and also asparagus can also die.

4. do they have any food intolerances?  // Not that he knows of.

5. what is their favorite food? // Probably Thai or Korean.

M: Maternal 1. would they want a daughter or a son? // He technically has a son already. Kat wanted a child and she trusted Logan above an anonymous donor, so one stressful jack-off session, a weird experience with a baster and eight months later, Rowan showed up early.  Logan technically has no parental responsibilities or rights, but he’s involved in Rowan’s life nonetheless. And then there’s Bastian, whose own father leaves a Little To Be Desired in the emotional department, let’s say, so ultimately he winds up taking on that role as well.

2. how many children do they want? // One’s enough, ta, and that one doesn’t even live with him. In seriousness, he’s always idly thought about children in his life, but not with any real seriousness – he plays his role with Rowan well and he’s a great uncle to Bastian, but kids wouldn’t suit his and Elrick’s lifestyle.  

3. would they be a good parent? // Yeah, he probably would.

4. what would they name a son? what would they name a daughter? // Demetrius or Victor for a boy, Ophelia for a girl. How else will people know he’s a pretentious bitch?

5. would they adopt? // Nah

O: Optimism 1. are they optimistic or pessimistic? // Total pessimist.

2. are they openly optimistic, throwing it on others? // No and he cannot stand it when other people force optimism into entirely inappropriate situations.

3. are they good at giving advice? // lmao not unless it’s legal advice. Then yes, absolutely. Just don’t cry on his kitchen floor.

4. is there anyone in their life that throws optimism on them? fukkin Katherine. She’s the only one allowed to get away with it.  

5. were they always optimistic/pessimistic? // Yeah, he was a pretty dour, anxious little kid from the start.

P: Personality 1. what is their best personality trait? // From a professional perspective, he’s extremely clear-headed and analytical, and it serves him very well as a criminal prosecution lawyer – there’s not much that slips by him, and he can spot a loophole coming a mile away.

2. what is their worst personality trait? // He’s … difficult to get along with, for a lot of people. Not nasty as such, but he’s sharp-tongued and quite quick to anger in situations outside of his job, particularly when stressed. He also has a tendency to look down on people (particularly people who aren’t considered ‘smart’ by his standards) and let’s be real, he’s pretty classist – it takes him a long time to come to terms with Bastian’s relationship with Fabian. Elrick is more than happy to call him out on this.

3. what of their personality do others love? // Didn’t we already do this?

5. do they hate anything about their personality/about other’s personalities? // god he cannot abide people who aren’t punctual oh GOD he hates people who aren’t punctual

Q: Questions 1. do they ask for help? // Not unless he’s literally dying

2. do they ask questions in class? // to be honest, he generally didn’t need to

3. do they answer questions that make them a little uncomfortable? // Depends on the context, but he generally tries to avoid giving out personal information.

4. do they ask weird questions? // He keeps his weird questions to himself and Googles them later.

5. are they curious? // By nature. It was curiosity that got him into the godawful mess he ended up in re: his source material.

R: Rules 1. do they follow rules? // Generally yeah, aside from the occasionally joint now and then. Although saying that, he does run very much on his own moral code, so I suppose he follows rules as long as he agrees with the sense and logic behind them.

2. would they be a strict or laid-back parent? // It’s odd, his instinct is to be strict but he would also loathe the thought of being anything like his father, so he might swing entirely the other way in an attempt to avoid that. Hard to say. He definitely wouldn’t be like … a fun, playful parent because that’s just not in his nature, but it’s possible he’d relax his own rules significantly. Although he is fairly strict with Rowan, it’s for Rowan’s benefit - he needs rules and boundaries to be comfortable, and Logan’s not a traditional ‘father’ in that case anyway.

3. have they ever been consequenced for breaking a rule? // he was ‘consequenced’ pretty fuckin badly for daring to kiss a boy

4. have they broken any rules they now regret breaking? // oh god probably, he has more regrets than he can count

5. do they find any rules they/others follow absolutely ridiculous? // He’s not got a lot of time nor respect for people who follow rules totally blindly without having some sense of self-critique.

S: Streets 1. are they street-smart? // Depends on the AU, but for the most part he’s too privileged.

2. would they give money to someone on the streets? // no because he’s actually horrible

3. have they ever gotten in a fight on the streets? // No, but he has gotten in a fight in a bar. Kat will not let him forget it.

5. are they cautious when out? // A little paranoid, perhaps, but it doesn’t stop him.

T: Truth 1. are they honest? // define ‘honest’

2. can they tell if someone is lying? // Yes, it’s literally his job.

3. is it obvious when they’re lying? // Nope. He’s a consummate liar.

4. have they lied about anything they regret lying about? // he lied and told Elrick that yes, he’d had sex before their first time, and then regretted it twenty minutes later when they were forced to stop because he almost died. it's fine. they worked it out

5. have they told truths that have been spread against their will? // not really – he plays his cards very close to his chest. Nothing gets out if he doesn’t want it to.

U: Underdog 1. have they been bullied? // Only by his parents.

2. have they bullied anyone? // Not directly to anyone’s face, but he’s definitely made some unpleasant comments.

3. have they been physically attacked by a bully? // If his father counts, yes.

4. have they ever been doubted? // Only from ages 2 to 34.

5. have they surprised people with being good at something? People don’t tend to expect the piano-playing, somehow.

V: Vomit 1. do they vomit often? // what is this question set. Incidentally, yes – he has a problem with running until he’s exhausted and tends to vomit after that.

2. do they get lots of stomach aches? // no?? I guess not???

3. are they good at comforting someone ill? // lol he could be better. His levels of sympathy leave a little to be desired.

4. what do they like as far as comfort goes? // he doesn’t, really. He generally dislikes being fussed over too much and denies he is sick until he’s unable to stand up, at which point he’s forced to accept it whether he likes it or not.

5. do they burp, cough, or hiccup most when nauseous? when vomiting? // what is this question ASKING

W: Water 1. do they drink enough water? // Actually probably yes – it’s one of the few healthy habits he has.

2. have they learned to swim? // yes

3. do they like to swim? // ehhhhh he can take it or leave it

4. can they dive? // he went to an expensive private school of course he can dive

5. can they swim without holding their nose? // yes

X: Xylophone 1. what is their favorite genre of music? // Classic rock – nothing after 1989, thanks.

2. do they have a favorite song? // Hendrix’s Watchtower is up there, as mentioned, along with Don’t Fear the Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult. He has favourite playlists, rather than favourite songs.

3. do they have a favorite band/artist/singer? Blue Oyster Cult in general is a favourite, as is Black Sabbath and Springsteen.

4. can they sing well? He does ok. His voice isn’t fuckin Grammy material or anything, but he can hold a note.

5. can they rap? lmao

Y: You 1. how old were you when you created them? // lol

2. what inspired you to create them? // LOL

3. were they different when they were first created? // oh god yeah. Prototype!Logan was a fucking mess, he’s undergone some serious reworking since the early days.

4. do you enjoy writing them more than other characters? // he’s my comfort-zone, honestly.

5. what’s your favorite thing about them? // his internal monologue of disdain suddenly being interrupted by Oppressively Gay Thoughts

Z: Zebra 1. what’s their favorite animal? // He likes watching birds, but only from a distance.

2. do they like animals? // Nah, he’s really not much of an animal person. Loud and messy, for the most part.

3. cats or dogs? // Cats, if he has to pick.

4. what’s their dream pet? // A taxidermised one.

5. do they have any pets at the moment? // A Birman cat named Saskia. It’s the only animal in the entire world that he loves. He doesn’t like cats – he likes his cat.

[zoldyckangel]

Can we see a list of requests in ur inbox rn if that’s ok? I’m super interested

Yeah sure! Note that some of the requests on the list take longer than the others but they’re being worked on. The list is also out of order. There also might be some duplicates for requests because different people want the same things.  I will put a keep reading line because of the sheer number of requests in my inbox. (Which is over 100 btw 😅) 

1: Can I request an NSFW scenario with Illumi trying to impregnate his S/O?

2: Since you told me you were looking forward to the extra kinky scenario with fei the bae, here it is: make it as kinky as you can fam. (If u don’t feel like it rn just like do it later or smth I don’t mind)

3: What would Illumi do if he had a younger sister , almost his age and he treated/favored like killua, that ran away from home at a young age and tried to go into hiding

4: Hey ! Can I get a uvogin Nsfw scenario . Helping his fem s/o to relieve stress . Doggie, oral , and riding would be great

5: Can you do an illumi NSFW scenario where his s/o is all like, “I don’t love you anymore.” And he gets all possessive?

6: Phinks nsfw scenario with a virgin s/o pleaseeeeee?

7: chrollo trying to get sex but his s/o denies just to piss him off

8: “Shh, stop fussing I’m just braiding your hair” for hisoka, please??

9: “If you steal the blanket, I’ll put my cold feet to you” for Fei♡

10: “You’re my new pillow” for hisoka please??

11: “How about a kiss” for Chrollo!

12: You are my new pillow, with Illumi

13: Will you let me rub your back?” + “Ssh. Stop fussing. I’m just braiding your hair.+“I might have slept with your robe when you were gone.” for Chrollo please?

14: Hc of the main four having a tiny s/o (like 5"1 or something) and how they would act around them? Killua and Gon are aged up of course!

15: “You are my new pillow” with Hisoka? ;D Thanks, you’re awesome!!

16: Omg can you do a scenario with feitan refuses to kiss his s/o on New Years so she gets back at him?

17: Can you do “your comfy” and “youre my new pillow” with illumi

18: If you’re still doing requests, please write a scenario for “How about a kiss?” with Kite please! (If the ask box is closed, then just delete this! sorry~)

19: If you’re taking requests, could you do Hisoka with “But I want to hear you sing.”? (Finding this blog made my day-)

20: SCENARIO NSFW KITE

21: I.COULDNT.HELP.IT. “Will you let me rub your back?” AND “Care to give me a back scratch?” WITH KURAPIKA. PLEASE. ILYSM

22: Would you please write 3 short scenario s between my oc and Feitan, Chrollo, and Uvogin? The genre doesn’t really matter. My oc is named Sabine. She is 4'10 and chubby. She’s an pansexual otaku who loves food, cats, and is basically juat a huge dork. Most of the time she’s pretty calm and always happy, but she acts like a child when excited. She has silent anger and can hold a grudge. Generally just a happy person. Thank you!~

23: What would happen if hisoka met a girl who was more powerful than him but refused to fight him? (Done) 

24: Okay, so I saw the ask about Gon and Killua having a weak S/O…what would happen if this S/O suddenly disappeared, without Killua or Gon noticing, and like one day later they discover they were murdered brutally by a killer? How would they feel? How focused would they be on revenge? Also, would they ever regret being with someone so weak, since it ultimately caused them pain?

25: Yooo I’m glad you’re back fam!! I’m sure ur pretty busy with all the requests but if you have time— I just recently read one of ur older nsfw feitan scenarios where you said it was kinky but it could definitely be kinkier, well you know what I’m gonna ask of you my dude. Pls write the kinkiest scenario ever for Fei the bae and I will love you till the day I die

26:  I’m thirsty for a NSFW Hisoka one shot where his crush is brushing off his advances but that just makes him try harder. 😏

27: I know you’ve done something similar but can I get a scenario for Hisoka relentlessly trying to get down with his crush but they’re onto him and brushing off his advances. You can either end it NSFW or have the crush unfazed by his seduction. I’m thirsty for more trash clown.

28:  Could you do a NSFW Shalnark scenario please?

29: Adult trio with shy s/o headcanon? ☺️

30: Kite oral scenarios with s/o plssss ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

31: Could i request headcanons for kurapika having a s/o who is sarcastic af but also a pretty sharp fella with deduction skills of sherlock? And for killua a s/o who loves books and readings and is even a writer themself who has a habit of putting people they know in real life in theur stories? :3 thank you!~

32: I just would like to say, I absolutely love your writing and I was wondering if requests were open. If so, could I request an Adult Gon NSFW scenario? Pretty please with a cherry on top and thank you!

33: may i request a scenario of killua having a crush on fem!reader whos a bit older than he is and hes having a hard time acknowledging his feelings so Gon gives him advice?

34: Turn ons and turn offs for Morel, Pariston, Kite, Knuckle, and Razor!

35: oh my god i loved your response to my request last time so i’ll just ask ONE LAST TIME i promise: can you do HCs for Kura and a fem s/o living as Kurtans? Like if the clan was never massacred and he grew up properly within the clan and got married and had kids and stuff. again, any NSFW is appreciated :3

36: Adult trio and main four kissing headcanons? Thank you!

37: Jealous Hisoka scenario?

38: HC on some things the adult trio finds cute in a person?

39: Hey! I love your work sm, thank you for being active again, it makes my school time less worse tbh My request is how Chrollo would react if he found out, that his s/o used to have something romantically with Kurapika before with him. (NSFW included) :,)

40: HC on how a crush accidentally turns on the adult trio?

41: How would the adultrio and the main four (or just the adultrio if it’s too much ^^) deal with their drunk s/o?

42: Favorite/least favorite music genres for the phantom crew and the adult trio?

43: Can I get headcannons for phinks with a thicc S/O (NSFW is appreciated too) ps LOVE YOUR BLOG ❤️❤️❤️

44: Adult trio with shy s/o HC. ☺️

45: I see you don’t write much about Razor, so how about a HC on Razors turn ons and turn offs?

46: Pariston scenario where he fails at wooing his crush because she realizes what kind of person he is but he isn’t letting up.

47: May I request fluffy head cannons for Older Killua with a soft-spoken, shy fem s/o? Your head cannons are so wonderful and I thank you for taking the time to write them!

48: 💢🔪💍🍼 for Chrollo please?

49: Hey! I really love your blog and i was wondering if i could make a headcanon request?? .////. I was wondering if you guys could write a scenario/headcanon (whichever you feel like ^^ i cant decide ^^;) kurapika having a s/o who’s really sassy and witty(loves self depricating jokes and lame puns XD) but overall a sharp minded person? Thank you!♡

50: tbh i just want like a rough NSFW scenario w Kura. pls and thx k bye

51: Could you pwease write some sfw/nsfw relationship headcanons for razor? (Gender neutral pronouns if thats not too much trouble)

52: I’d the adult trio had a big crush on someone, how far would they go to get them? Like, would they stalk them or constantly flirt with them or break into their apartment or buy them loads of gifts…? Let’s assume their crush is strong just cause I see them trying harder if they’re powerful.

53:  🍼💍💋💘 for Feitan please?

54: Are requests open? If so, I would like to request some headcanons for Colt but I can’t do those emoji thingies…… Great blog by the way!

55: HC on when the main four and adult trio realize they’ve fallen in love 😍 (or caught the feels for someone)

56: Heeelloooo there✨✨✨ I’d like to ask 😈, 💘,💋 and 🍆 for Gon and Killua ohohohohoho ✨💞 Kisses!!!!

57: How does the trouble trio + Chrollo feel if they found out that their female s/o lives together with their best male friend? Due to circumstances and stuff? Not because they cheated on him.

58:  Can I get a headcanon how the adult trio and main four would react if they were separated from their crush for a while? Would they mope, stalk them, distract themselves…?

59: Hello Admin Shy! I was wondering if you could do yandere/possessive HC for the adult trio? Thank you!!

60: Main four with s/o that has trust issues, because she/he has had so many fake friends who have only used her/him to get expensive gifts and good grades. And very bad self esteem, because she/he thinks that she/he isn’t good enough to be their real friend. If you don’t want to write this, you don’t have to. Actually this has happened to me a lot :,).

61: Can I request the reactions of the adult trio to a nuzzling crush? Idk if they’d like it or not.

62: Hello there! Is the ask box open? If so, can I request a fluff scenario for Kalluto and an innocent and cheerful oc who is also a spider??

63: Sfw/Nsfw headcanons for illumi with a yandere s/o??? *wink wink, nudge nudge*

64: I saw you did jealous chrollo HC so can you do some for Illumi and Hisoka to round out the adult trio?

65: Can you do first kiss/kissing headcanons for Morel, Kite, Razor, Pariston, and Knuckle please? Thanks Admin 👩🏻‍💼

66: Heya! Glad to see you posting again. Could the nice people of tumblr request some spicy Chrollo New Year’s headcanons, sfw and nsfw?

67: Hello Admin! Ok so Pariston is a total enigma for me and I wanted your opinion on what this dude looks for in both a worthy opponent and a crush. Like, he obviously admires Ging and respects him the most from anyone I’ve seen but he also loathes him for being a worthy opponent. As for who he is attracted to, could any personality be good for him and any power level as long as they interested him in some fashion? Sorry this is long! 😅

68: Headcanon for kurapika and a sassy af s/o? :3

69: Hey can you do Hisoka headcannons with a s/o that is super fragile and shy in the begining but once she opens up she’s super fun pervy and op she is so strong she can actually beat him and Chrollo~ ty!

70: Jealousy headcanons for Leorio, Hisoka, Pariston, Knuckle, and Gon please! I feel like they’d give a variety of reactions. :)

71: I know it’s still early but do you think you could do same pariston Valentine’s day headcanons (sfw and nsfw)?? And yes I’m the same anon who asked for the new years too lol, I just really like him for some strange reason Thanks I’m advance!

72: How do you think what kind of person would Killua like? Thank you ^^

73: Some Adult trio first time HCs. Like when it happened (age) how it happened who (female or male) what happened

74: Your two hisoka one shots were absolutely AMAZING!!! AaaAAaaahhhhh youre such a good writter!!!!!!! (＞ｙ＜) Could I please request a third one shot? Its ok if you dont feel like writting it, the other two were fantastic, so I bet they took some time. But, for me and others who enjoyed them, could you? ヽ(*≧ω≦)ﾉ

75: Hello! I apologize if you are busy but may I have Kurapika Valentines Day SFW/NSFW headcanons with his s/o? Thank you and I apologize that it’s two days after Valentines Day.

76: Hey! Can you do a scenario with kikyo and silva fluff !

77: A HXH scenario! Some NSFW scenario with older Killua and his gf ( collar/ pet kink)? Love your work!

78: “this position is.. making me turned on…” said Kurapika softly, completely flustered with his fem s/o sitting on his lap.

79: Kurapika in a normal high school Romance HC n scenario?????

80: Can you write another BDSM scenario with Feitan? Thank you so much :)))

81: Can you please write another Vampire!Feitan scenario? Thank you ;))

82: Ok I got an angsty HC ask: how would the adult trio react to seeing their crush get physically or verbally abused?

83: Can we get general fluffy sfw hcs and nsfw hcs for Chrollo? Tysm! ❤️

84: Can I… Can I have some yandere Chrollo headcannons please :o Your blog is one of my top favorites by the way

85: How would Chrollo act if he knew that Kurapika was in love with his s/o?

86: How would Phinks go about recruiting (my means of seduction) a potential troupe affiliate. Like a spy or an informant or something. (I know it’s specific but I need some inspiration for a fic I have planned.)

87: Type of dates chrollo would take his s/o on? (S/o is a strong nen user and is aware that he is a part of the phantom troupe)

88: Please yandere chrollo scenario

89: Hi! I really like your page and I was just wondering if requests are currently open? It’s not exactly clear, but if they are open; could you please do a fluffy scenario with fem reader x hisoka where they join him in a grassy clearing & he just randomly starts doing handstands & pushups while they’re lying down beneath him & he kisses them each time he goes down; getting more heated each time until they are both playfully rolling around kissing one another? Thnx 4 reading either way! ^^

90: Hey! Love this page! I was wondering how do you think Feitan, Hisoka, Phinks and Shalnark would react to a gentle, surprise kiss from their s/o? Please and thank you!

91: Hey! Could you plz do a fluffy scenario of hisoka, illumi sharing moments with their s/o’s where they make each other giggle and laugh; just something really cute and sweet for each of them but that still suits their personalities? Thank you so much!

92: Spider boi needs more love. How about a scenario for Chrollo meeting his s/o during a PT mission?

93: Hello may I get headcannons of the adult trio with a fem s/o who looks like a bad ass bitch with tattoo and colorful hair but is very calm and sweet when not working. Something like she gives them a safe mental space where they can let their gaurd down when it’s just the two of them please? Sorry if this is too specific ( ^_^U)

94: Ohh how about the crush walking in on the guys halfnaked? 😄 Gif reactions for the adult trio and main four

95: Can you do a nsfw scenary with Adult Killua and fem s/o please?

96: Aaaaahhh the flirting hc were so good thank you so much admin!!! I’d like to request another HC if you don’t mind! What are some turn ons for the adult trio and how do they react when they’re horny? 😜

97: Mun, can you please do a headcanons for the adult trio on things they find cute in their crush? Like their laugh, if they are naive about something, if they pout, play with hair, talk cutesy to animals, etc. I like fluff. ☁️ Thanks a million!

98: Personal thoughts: how would Hisoka react to genuine affection? He’s a creep and no one puts up with his behavior but what if someone has the patience of a saint and was able to actually enjoy his company and care about his well being? What do u think, I’d love to know

99: Is it time for that Yandere chrollo from a few asks back?? 😉😉 if it is, general yandere hcs please! (You can do a continuation of that ask if u want ?)

100: Uvogin NSFW with female reader or s/o

101: Adult trio with shy s/o HC please?

102: Ok so I’m a lover of people who are gluttons for punishment. Naturally, I’d like to request a HC of Hisoka having a crush on one of the most powerful hunters he has ever met but they refuse to fight him. He tries to annoy them but they have the patience of a saint. He tries to flirt with them but they laugh off his advances or tease him before walking off. He begs them for a battle but they are a pacifist when it concerns fighting Hisoka. 😂

103: Hello! May I ask a scenario where Chrollo’s s/o wearing a sexy lingerie and she’s waiting for him? Thank you very much! ^^

104: Can you please do first kiss HC for Hisoka, Knuckle, and Pariston please? Would it be spur of the moment and sexy or planned out and sweet?

105: Scenarios of the adult rio and feitan. When they cheat on there s/o

106: Kurapika’s S/O got pregnant and is reluctant to tell him (he is a busy man) but he found out anyway albeit not from her. How would he feel not knowing it from her? Also, thank you for all these wonderful headcanons ^-^!

107: A bit of angst here: how would Hisoka, Knuckle, and Pariston react to seeing their crush get physically or verbally abused?

108: These are my three favs so I gotta keep asking for them! Can you please do HC on how Hisoka, Knuckle, and Pariston would ask their crush out on a date? Thank you Admin!

109: Who do you HC to actually care about having a virgin as a partner when they first have sex? Which characters would be understanding, feel turned on, honored, don’t care, find it off putting, etc.

110: Headcanons for Chrollo and his s/o who, as he finds out, is one of his favourite authors?

111: Headcanons (possible romance?) for Hisoka meeting someone who used to take care of him as a kid?

112: A scenario for Hisoka being stuck in bed, ill, and his s/o taking care of him? Your pick for SFW/NSFW. (apologies if this gets double posted!)

113: Oh gosh I hope I made it in time. Can I request something with a protective kurapika? Anything is fine. I want this dude to be loved :’)

114: Can I pleeeeease have some headcanons for Chrollo if he had an s/o who had a huge erogenous zone on their ear (they like it when it gets nibbled and such) but they’re super shy about it? Tankee

115: Love your blog! If yiu still do requests quests then I suppose this one should be interesting: one with our lill smol Feitan having a younger teenage sister who’s taller than him (but weaker lol), how would their life be like?

116: Can I have some general sfw and nsfw relationship headcanons for Machi and for Pakunoda?

[winemom92]

#BeautifulinNY 07.14.17

This is purely for me to remember everything that happened during my long ass adventure for monsta x

GOD okay so once Friday finally rolled around and i was actually IN NEW YORK!!!!!! we ( @jminsnose & i) got to the playstation theater before 8am bc they told us to line up then but we werent really even ready so we ran back to our place real fast and did a half ass makeup job (which just ended up melting off our faces anyways but thats besides the point) and got back by 8:30 and the line was almost at the end of the street. so once we waited there it started pouring rain but we were smart and brought an umbrella and bought cheap ass ponchos

this is all pointless honestly SO finally by like 12ish they finally took us around to where the ticket booth is (it was shaded from the rain tho tHANK @ GOD)  for us to get our wristbands (we had p2 so we got the hi touch experience to “meet” them) but we didnt even get the wristbands until like 6.... ok

we barely ate anything this whole damn day either and had to stand ever since 8am because they literally told us we couldnt sit bc it was a “fire violation” or some bs. i really only had two bites of a muffin from starbucks and half a small bag of cheez its and a small bottle of water. dont ever do this its not healthy at ALL. 

but anyways by the time 7:04pm came we finally started lining up to get into the venue and we got split up from our friends we made in line (alee karen and clarissa my little babies i miss them too) but once we got inside we found them off to the right side on the stairs and honestly it was the PERFECT view 

the show started half an hour late because of a “medical emergency” but after all the suffering and not eating/sitting and waiting THE SHOW FINALLY STARTED. 

they were sooooo happy to be in new york. they kept on singing NEW YORKKKKKK and saying they loved us and how we were amazing to them and i just. they really loved new york. we loved them back. it was so magical.

and i swear to god WONHO knew he was my bias because

i have never

in my life

had the kind of experiences i had with him with any other singer/band member whatsoever

he ket messing around with me on PURPOSE knowing he could get a reaction out of me..... i...... dont know how i even survived any of the concert honestly. i had to keep crouching down on the ground to breathe i literally was dying for monsta X. wonho ruined my life forever ill never be the same ever again. he would purposely look at me and either rub his chest, bite his lip, body roll, or he even. HE EVEN. 

i have to mention this. so before fighter (their “last song” before their encore) they were saying how it was the last song and i was waving my finger and shaking my head, wonho literally was just like staring at the ground then he randomly looked up RIGHT AT ME while i was waving my finger and he starts to smile and shake his head the way i was waving my finger back and forth. then i guess i was messing with my hair trying to fix it because wonhO FREAKIN COPIED ME AND DID THE SAME THING TO HIS HAIR then i slapped my hand over my mouth and died AND THEN HE GIVES ME THE BIGGEST SMILE AND LAUGHED SO CUTE AND SO BIG MY HEART HURTS THINKING ABOUT IT. AND I FOUND IT FILMED IN SOMEONES VIDEO. i honestly just want to die. he also killed me during White Love aka one of my top 3 songs of the life. thanks a lot wonho. OH AND FROM ZERO...... I DONT EVEN WANNA TALK ABOUT THAT. I WAS LITERALLT SWEARING THE WHOLE TIME. i kept throwing finger hearts at him and thats when he would tease the hell out of me. i see u wonho.

JOOHEON WAS SO BEAUTIFUL????? like they all are and i  couldnt believe any of them were real. but joo-fucking-heon. am i right. he came out and i was like

WAIT

thats him??? that beautiful man???? 

he done snatched me from shownu i cant even deny it anymore. he crawled up my bias list soooo fast (its funny bc in line people were passing out buttons and i kept getting jooheon... it was a sign) he was SO happy during the whole show, and i cant believe the way he raps, HE EVEN SANG i wanted to throw up everywhere. once he did his duet with kihyun. i was floored. i knew he had my heart after that. he kept saying a few things in english my heartu.

kihyun is such a smol but hes so beautiful too and his voice is even more beautiful in person?? he was so damn happy too the whole concert he kept smiling and being lit as hell. he had these really cute moments with i.m and wonho i wanted to just die right then and there.

SHOWNU MY BIG BALL OF CUTENESS. ive never seen someone that was soft as hell and also a man (besides wonho) during sweetheart he tried throwing candy in our direction but he threw it too high and it hit the speakers/lights above us and it all fell on the ground and he just looks like .... the fuck it was adorable as hell i love him mom. but when he threw a handful again i actually got a piece of chocolate and thANK the lord because i was hungry as hell. he went hard as hell in 24k magic... wow a man.

i.m. was adorable as hell too. his english ;__; i cry every time. he really didnt give us the time of day except for a wave (UNLIKE WONHO!!!!!!!!!!!!!) but he was just cute as hell and he also goes hard when he raps. WE HEARD MARATHAWN in person i was a changed person.

Minhyuk really is wild irl he was one who kept grabbin his crotch every possible moment he could. hes so tall and thin oh my god you can break him in half but hes also so beautiful??? i dont understand how any of them look the way they do. his little english moments too. i was crying and dying.

since hyungwon wasnt there they kept all his placements in the choreo empty and i was crying bc i missed my turtle son :( we kept chanting his name every moment we could. he was definitely loved and missed by all of us.

SO ONCE THE SHOW FINALLY ACTUALLY ENDS!!!  we get ready for the hi touch and i swear to god. i cant believe. i actually. got to. touch. monsta. x. theyre so adorable as hell. and being so close to them i want to die. and touching their hands. o my god

the order was jooheon, minhyuk, shownu, i.m, wonho, then kihyun.

jooheon was saying thank you to everyone with this big ass smile on his face and cute squinty eyes. NO THANK YOU JOOHEON. im p sure they had them standing on something bc jooheon was like 2x taller than normal i was like THAT SOUNDS FAKE.

minhyuk really smacked everyones hand so hard omg a wild child

shownu was so cute he had a hand on his hip and was just hi fiving everyone i cant believe i touched a mans hand.

i.m i really dont remember well he was just adorable as hell, and tbh my focus was just getting to wonho (im sorry i.m i swear i love you a lot)

WONHOS TURN. so i get to him i hold his hand and do a finger heart with my other hand and im like “youre my favorite i love you” then he does a finger heart back to me and nods his head. BOY U BETTER AFTER EVERYTHING HE PUT ME THROUGH. i didnt wanna let go afterwards but i had to “keep the line moving”

i literally blacked out after wonho and dont even remember looking at or acknowledging kihyun. it was so bad i swear i love you too my smol child.

i really cant believe i got to see them and meet them and FLY ALL THE WAY TO NEW YORK????? just for them, oh my god it was worth it. we literally only had a total of 10 hours of sleep all four days we were there. but it was worth literally dying. i cant wait to see them again and meet them again. they relaly put on the best show ever. i miss thems o much :(